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Seungmin likes to think he’s a good person. He volunteers at the local dog shelter every other weekend, always does his homework on time and ensures it’s completed to an exceptionally high standard, buttons his school shirt all the way up to his collar and tucks it neatly into his ironed trousers. He never litters – he’s even collected rubbish in his local park on three separate occasions as part of a community drive to clear up the town’s streets – and he’s not bad with the little kids who run riot in his neighbourhood either. He even helps out the old ladies who are too short to reach the top shelf in the supermarket. He’s nice, okay?
All of this, he does due to nothing but the goodness of his own heart (and the manners his mother drilled into him ever since he was old enough to walk). One would think that the universe would reward such behaviour with an equally positive response. Yet when he returns to school after just two short days of being off sick, he finds that whatever sicko is running this show has decided to mock him instead.
“The only extracurriculars left available are knitting or rock collecting, I’m afraid,” says Mrs Jung with a small grimace. “Everything else is already full.”
Knitting. Rock collecting. Knitting.
Rock collecting.
To put it bluntly: what the actual fuck.
“Are you sure there’s nothing else available?” he asks, trying not to sound like he’s panicking. Or like the thought of both clubs makes him want to stick pins in his eyes and share it on social media for everyone to squeal over. “Nothing that you can squeeze one extra person into?” She shakes her head and Seungmin starts to wither. “Not even the Reptile Association?” he asks weakly. It isn't as though he’s particularly passionate about lizards, but he’d much rather fondle a gecko than traipse around collecting bits of limestone every week.
“Unfortunately, the last spot in the Reptile Association has been taken,” she says, glancing at one of the many sheets in front of her. She squints behind her gold, thick-rimmed square spectacles. “By Choi Beomgyu, it seems. So you’ll either have to join the Rockhounds or the knitting club this year.”
Great.
Great.
So much for his second year extracurricular. Back when he first discovered that his school made extracurriculars mandatory in second year in order to spruce up their university applications, he carefully analysed and planned out just what he was going to join in order to seem as attractive as possible to future employers and recruiters. In the end, Seungmin was dead set on joining the Debating Society since it looks great on a personal statement. But then he just had to go and get food poisoning and fall bedridden during sign-ups, didn’t he?
And now here he is.
Stuck between a rock and a pair of knitting needles.
Taking pity on him, Mrs Jung softens. “Look, you’re considering a future career in dentistry, aren’t you? Well, it just so happens that knitting looks good in applications for medical-related fields. Shows that you have some manual dexterity for surgeries, that sort of thing. So how about I put you down for the knitting club and keep you on a waiting list for the Debating Society in the meantime? If anything opens up, I’ll let you know right away. Is that alright?”
No, it’s not alright. He doesn’t want to knit like his seventy-year-old grandma, he wants to debate people about the rampant exploitation that’s fundamentally embedded in capitalism. Seeing no other alternative, however, Seungmin can only nod, however miserably he does it. He watches as his name is inked down beneath a small heading in 12 point Calibri bold type letters: THE KNIT & NATTER.
- 𓍯 -
"You guys are traitors,” Seungmin declares when he walks into homeroom the next day, Changbin on his heels. He points to where the rest of their friends lounge in the back of the classroom and ignores the side-eyes his proclamation receives from the other students. “Snakes, the entire pack of you.”
Minho rolls his eyes, rocking back on his chair as Seungmin strides (read: stomps) over to his desk. “Are you still going on about that damn knitting club?”
“I told you to sign me up for the Debating Society,” he hisses.
“So I forgot.” He shrugs. “Big deal. It’s just a club.”
“A weekly club,” he says. “A club that meets weekly. I’d like to see you knit weekly.”
“Well, fortunately, I’ll just be dancing to TVXQ during dance club instead, so I don’t have to. And in any case, I don’t see why you’re blaming me for what happened. It’s not like Changbin and Jisung were in a hurry to sign you up for that debating thing either.”
That’s because trying to blame Changbin for anything is the equivalent of asking someone to stab Seungmin’s eardrum into tatters. Few people manage to reach the same volume that Seo Changbin achieves whenever he feels that his honour is under attack. Seungmin did try to broach the subject that morning when he picked Changbin up on the way to school, but the second he saw Changbin’s lungs inflate with a barrel of air, he hastily backtracked before he could be subjected to any would-be wails or cries of defamation. No one needs to deal with that much noise so early in the morning.
Unwilling to give in just yet, however, Seungmin swivels round to Jisung instead, who quietly dozed on his desk throughout Seungmin’s dramatic entrance, and taps his head.
“How could you not sign me up for the Debating Society?” he demands. “I trusted you.”
Squinting up at him through sleep-crusted eyes, Jisung asks, “Was I meant to?” and stifles a yawn. In the process, he misses Seungmin’s flat look.
“Traitors,” he repeats, shaking his head. “The lot of you.”
“To be fair, we had to sign up during lunch time,” says Changbin generously, ever the diplomat. “So Jisungie was only thinking about bulgogi at the time.”
“Oh yeah,” Jisung recalls with what can only be described as a dopey grin. “That was some good bulgogi.”
Minho mimes retching. “I don’t think that’s even actual beef they put in the bulgogi,” he says, revolted.
“Probably not, to be fair. It was good either way.”
“You’re fucking vile, you know that, right?”
He shrugs. “I’m seventeen.”
“And a traitor,” Seungmin can’t help but remind him.
“And tired,” Jisung corrects and drops his head back onto the fold of his arms. “Don’t disturb me for the next twenty minutes, thanks. I’m going to squeeze a quick nap in. Good day and goodnight everyone.”
“Yah, homeroom begins in three minutes,” Changbin chides. He shakes Jisung’s shoulders. “Stay awake before you land yourself in detention again.”
“I don’t want to,” he complains, even as he sits up. “Channie-hyung told me to rebel against the man whenever I can.”
“Mrs Jung is a woman,” Seungmin says.
“The man is not a gendered being. It’s an emblem. A figurehead that represents the oppressiveness of authority and dictatorship. The stifling of creativity, the inequality of hierarchy, the death of individuality. It’s embodied in behaviour, not in minor things like gender presentation. So yes, Mrs Jung is the man and it’s my duty to rebel against her rule.”
Jisung meets each of their mystified looks with a decisive nod, as if in approval of his own passionate speech. The three of them exchange a glance before Minho shakes his head with a laugh.
“Okay you seriously need to stop hanging out with your brother.”
- 𓍯 -
Wednesday plods forward and with it comes the first meeting of Seungmin’s dreaded fraternity: the Knit & Natter. He lingers outside of classroom 3b after school, hearing the murmurs of the other club members on the other side of the door and psyching himself up to go in. It’s only a club, after all. Not something that can seriously ruin his life. Sure, he’d much rather be elsewhere, but it’s not going to hurt him to walk in and sit there for an hour. And he really shouldn’t be judging the people who joined it willingly either. Who knows? Maybe knitting is fun.
Wow. He can’t believe he’s actually a part of this dumb thing.
Telling his ego to get over itself, Seungmin pushes against the door and enters the classroom. An automatic smile hooks onto the ends of his lips in the face of the ten curious glances that immediately swivel his way. He follows it up with an incline of his head, a quasi-bow to make up for the unflattering thoughts he’s voiced in his head.
“Hi,” he says uncertainly. “I’m Seungmin. This is the knitting club, right?”
“Yes, yes, come in!” says a warm voice. Hwang Hyunjin springs up from his chair to usher Seungmin into the seat right next to him. “Great to see we have another member who’s actually turned up. I’m Hyunjin, the leader and organiser of the club.”
Well. Doesn’t that just make Seungmin feel like an absolute piece of shit.
Here he is, judging the other members for signing up when these guys are the only ones nice enough to actually honour their commitment and turn up. So what if they like knitting? It’s far from the worst thing they could do. He resolves to be kinder in his attitude to the club and its members.
This time, when he smiles, it’s much more genuine. “I know. You’re the class president of our year. We’re in the same homeroom and have some classes together.”
Hyunjin’s mouth quirks up and two lines accompany it, embedded into the tops of his cheeks, just under his eyes. “Oh, I know. But I figured it’d be too presumptuous to assume you already know who I am so I wanted to introduce myself properly. Especially because I don’t think we’ve ever actually talked before?”
He’s right, they haven’t. While Hyunjin is comfortably placed in the front and centre of every classroom he walks into, Seungmin always ends up dragged to the back by Jisung (always eager to sneak a nap in) or Minho (always ready to wreak havoc). Even so, he still put Hyunjin down as his second option for class president when voting opened (right after Changbin, who he promised his first vote to – if only to stop him from pouting until Seungmin agreed.)
(Minho grumbled about it for days after he found out, lamenting at length about how he’s surrounded by nothing but fake friends who never want to see him succeed. At this, Seungmin couldn’t help but point out how Minho manages to consistently end up in detention for winking at Mr Kang, their History teacher, whenever he’s being reprimanded for disrupting the lesson. Which he does. Every time they have it. The world would not be able to handle Lee Minho in any position of authority, even for something as minor as school.)
“I’m kind of awkward around new people,” Seungmin says, a little warm at the collar at being called out so blatantly for it. “I usually just stick with my friends.”
Hyunjin nods understandingly. “I’m the same, to be honest. It’s why I went for class prez in the first place – I figured it’d force me to get over it. Jeongin’s quiet like that too,” he says, patting the knee of the boy on the other side of him. “He didn’t talk to me for a solid week when we met last year.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Jeongin protests.
“We were the only people sitting at our table in the cafeteria. It was that bad.”
His friend glowers. “I gave you my Honey Butter Chips.”
“And they tasted great,” he promises. He then turns back to Seungmin and hands him a pair of plastic knitting needles and a ball of blue yarn. “Since it’s our very first meeting, we’re going to focus on the basics today. Just learning how to cast on – that is, getting the first stitches onto the needles. Don’t worry if you struggle with it, it can be quite tricky.”
Seungmin looks down at the yarn on his lap, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. “Um. Okay.” He didn’t think knitting would be so difficult, but if the club’s leader himself thinks the first step can get ‘quite tricky’, he doesn’t know how the hell he’s supposed to accomplish anything here. “Can you show me how to do it?”
“Of course! That’s what I’m here for.”
When Seungmin glances up, it’s to yet another beam. Dimples under Hyunjin’s eyes. Dimples on either side of his mouth. Something in his chest dislodges at the sight. Maybe this knitting club won’t be so bad after all.
- 𓍯 -
MINHO FT. THE HOES
minho is cute:
yo
how was the knitting club, loser
seungmin is cuter:
it was
actually okay
(bass boosted) CHANGBIN!!!:
i told you it’d be ok
see? all of this worrying for no reason
and for what smh
seungmin is cuter:
wtv
it wasn’t revolutionary or anything
but it was nice ig
minho is cute:
better than debating climate change?
seungmin is cuter:
it’s the climate crisis, you uncultured ingrate, and no, nothing could ever beat that
minho is cute:
u are such a fuckin nerd ohmygod
- 𓍯 -
Knitting is surprisingly hard.
Grandmas and Hyunjin always make it look so easy, their needles clacking together loudly – obnoxiously, scowls a voice in Seungmin’s head whenever he fails to loop a stitch the way he intended to – but those sweet people shouldn’t fool anyone. Although the devil may work hard, knitting is ten hundred times harder – but so help him, Seungmin refuses to let that deter him. He will succeed and finish off the hat he’s making. Failure is absolutely out of the question. It’s for his favourite dog down at the shelter (he’d have adopted it long ago if not for his dad’s allergies) and he refuses to let G-Dachshund be cold for any longer.
Thankfully, Hyunjin is more than happy to help.
He’s kind and generous with his support – not just with Seungmin but with the entire club. His presence maintains an easy, relaxed atmosphere in the classroom; it’s not uncommon for someone to call him over, despairing about how they can’t possibly do this anymore, only to have Hyunjin cheer them up within moments.
Seungmin is far from immune to his charm. In what feels like no time at all, he warms up to Hyunjin in a way he doesn’t do often. He can hardly help it. It’s not his fault that Hyunjin’s hands are always so soft and warm whenever they fix whatever mistake Seungmin has just made, or how it feels when they fall onto his arm in comfort at the first sign of his distress. Nor can he change the honeyed lilt of his voice, sweet like the cherry-flavoured sweets he likes to snack on.
Seungmin comes to associate it with the quiet contentment that comes with the Knit & Natter. For all he judged it beforehand, the club has a strange way of melting away the tense set of his shoulders after a hard day at school. In fact, now that he’s had time to settle in, he’s rather ashamed of how harsh his early judgement was. Quite frankly, the club is a nice place to be. One where the mismatched collection of students – Australian transfer Felix Lee, model student Lee Chaeryeong, the club’s most awkward member Park Jisung, who is as shy as he is tall – can comfortably share both their passing thoughts and their niggling worries with each other over yarn and biscuits. It’s a space to relax, an advice group and a gossip well all rolled into one. All facilitated by the ever-effervescent Hwang Hyunjin.
Though he never thought he’d say it, Seungmin comes to genuinely enjoy the knitting club. Sure, it’s nothing like the Debating Society, but he can argue about institutional racism any other time.
“You’re getting really good at this,” Hyunjin says, studying what is well on its way to being G-Dachshund’s hat. “Loads better than I was at your stage.”
Well aware of how terrible he is, Seungmin sends him a disbelieving look. “Yeah, right. You’re amazing.” When Hyunjin blushes, he realises how intense that sounded and hastens to add, “At knitting, I mean. Don’t get me wrong, you’re amazing in general, of course, but I was – I was talking specifically about the knitting. Since we’re in a knitting club. Together. Right now.”
Hyunjin breathes a laugh. “Right. Thanks for clearing that up.”
“No worries,” he mutters and then wonders whether it’d be too drastic to spear his shoulder with a knitting needle so he can be whisked away for medical attention to avoid saying anything else stupid.
Oblivious to Seungmin’s despair, Hyunjin says, “But no, seriously, I mean it. I used to be terrible at knitting when I first started. Awful, really, it was pretty tragic. It took me ages to master it and that’s only because my grandma forced me to practice with her whenever she was babysitting me.”
Seungmin can’t help but smile at the mental image of a tiny Hyunjin knitting in his living room: eyebrows furrowed together, his lips pursed in concentration as he struggled to make a scarf. He must’ve looked adorable.
“But you, on the other hand, seem to have a natural talent for it,” Hyunjin continues. “Lots of manual dexterity.”
“Oh that’s good then,” says Seungmin. “I need to have manual dexterity if I’m going to be a dentist one day.”
“Oh, you want to be a dentist? That’s interesting. What made you choose that?”
He shrugs. If he’s being honest, he just woke up one day and decided that dentistry is a good compromise between working in the healthcare sector like his parents want him to and not working daft hours every week. The hefty salary doesn’t hurt either.
“I like my teeth,” is what he says instead. “I think they’re very nice.”
Hyunjin looks at him carefully as if to ascertain this for himself, so Seungmin smiles, wide and ready for inspection. Middle school oversaw the straightening of his teeth and his diligence with his retainer ever since has maintained their uniformity – which means it’s been a long time since Seungmin was last embarrassed by his teeth. As he waits for Hyunjin’s verdict, his eyes crinkle up in that way he knows endears him to people. Even Minho can’t resist it and he likes to tell everyone that Seungmin isn’t his friend but the pet dog he keeps around to feed the occasional treat to. After a few moments, he receives an approving nod.
“You do have nice teeth,” Hyunjin agrees and then adds, entirely unnecessarily, “And a nice smile.”
The compliment warms his cheeks. A rush of satisfaction bubbles up from deep inside of him to settle within the hot spots, perplexing in how strong it came on. Not wanting to dwell on the reaction, he shrugs it off with a jokey, “Of course I do. What else did you expect?”
Inside, something begins to unravel under his skin.
- 𓍯 -
The revelation hits him two days later in the middle of lunch. Ever since Wednesday, Seungmin has felt off-kilter as if something in his life, in his body, is changing. Shifting positions. Something that he can’t quite put a name on. For someone who likes to be as prepared for things as much as he possibly can be, the development is nothing short of disconcerting. Distressing.
“So you haven’t done your homework then?” Changbin says. He folds his arms across his chest and stares Jisung down in disappointment. “Again?”
Jisung avoids his eyes. “I forgot.”
“No you didn’t. The only reason I ended our video call last night was because you said you were going to finish your assignment. It was only five pages of reading and a short summary, Jisungie. It’s not that hard.”
“I was going to do it,” he says defensively. “But then I thought of this really cool hook for that competition I’m thinking of entering – “
“The one with Heize?” Minho asks.
“Yeah, that one! I have most of the melody done now and it’s really good, I think! Wanna see?”
Even before he finishes speaking, he puts his pizza slice down to reach for his school bag, flipping it open with a bright smile. Excitement dances in his eyes, making them twinkle under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the school cafeteria – that is, until Changbin speaks moments later, his voice still weighed down with a reprimand.
“No. What I want is for you to have done your homework. Seriously, Jisung, what are you playing at? This is the third time you haven’t done your assignment for Korean Lit. Mrs Song is going to drag you out in front of the entire class just to embarrass you with a lecture and then stick you with another detention. I don’t understand why you never concentrate in school when you know you could easily avoid all of this.”
Jisung visibly deflates. Lips pursed together, he returns to his pizza and mumbles with heavy petulance, “Whatever. I don’t even care about getting a stupid detention.”
“Well, I do,” Changbin fires back.
Caught in the middle of the crossfire, Minho sends Seungmin an awkward look, clearly wanting him to step in and diffuse the situation before things can spiral out of control. Whenever Changbin isn’t around to be the mediator, the role usually falls to him; Minho is always a little too gruff to navigate these conversations with any true finesse whereas Seungmin can wield a little more delicacy. If the disagreement is between Changbin and Jisung, then that’s doubly true. There’s no telling what direction the wind will blow whenever those two are at loggerheads. Getting them to stand down requires a careful hand.
Sighing, he pushes his own problems to the side and gets ready to de-escalate the disagreement. He doesn't manage to get a word out, however, before Changbin heaves a sigh of his own. Before the argument can turn into a battle, he dials down his frustration and says, so soft that Seungmin almost feels as though he’s intruding:
“I’m sorry. I’m being mean. I would like to listen to your melody, Jisungie, you know I would. I was just being harsh before because I’m worried about you, that’s all.”
Jisung refuses to look his way. “Whatever. It’s not like I even care.”
Uh-oh. Looks like Changbin has hit hard with this one. Jisung is never sulky in the face of an apology unless he’s seriously offended about something. He might not want to apologise first, but he rarely turns away from a sorry when it’s delivered to him.
Knowing this, Changbin wraps an arm around his shoulder and shuffles closer, tilting his head so it’s in Jisung’s peripheral view. Blinking coyly, he presses his lips together in a silly smile and rubs along a crease on Jisung’s shirt. The sight is so nauseating that Seungmin is surprised when Jisung doesn’t immediately throw up his half-eaten pizza in response.
“I’m sorry, Jisungie,” he says sweetly. Just as nauseating as his expression. Just as silly. Changbin’s aegyo has always been too cringey to take seriously – exactly the way its owner intends it to be. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, you know that. I genuinely do want to listen to your song. It must be special if you made it, right? Hm?" He nudges him playfully. “Okay?”
Jisung holds out on giving in for all of five seconds before he cracks and turns to Changbin with a delighted grin. Cooing, he smashes his palms against either side of Changbin’s face.
“Ahh Changbinnie, you’re so cute. Of course I forgive you, how can I not?”
Immediately, Changbin drops the aegyo and bats him away with a scowl. Jisung follows after him with another coo, making grabby hands for his cheeks which he swiftly avoids by leaning away, practically horizontal in his seat.
“Yah! Where did you learn to call your friends cute? Don’t you think you’re getting a little too comfortable with this sort of behaviour?”
There’s a pleased colour to the purse of his mouth all the same. When he thinks no one is paying attention, it blooms into a small, secretive smile. Seungmin gets the funny feeling that he’s been on the other end of it in the past – not by observing it or receiving it but indulging in the same private contentment that Changbin must be feeling right now and – oh no. Oh no, no, no.
No.
There’s no way in hell. There can’t be. He cannot possibly be this much of a cliché.
Foreboding wells up in him. Seungmin twists in search of where he knows he will find a head of messy, honey brown hair. As if feeling his gaze all the way over by the water fountain, Hyunjin looks up and meets Seungmin’s intent gaze. He startles, caught off-guard, before he breaks out into a smile. Dimples under his eyes. Dimples on either side of his cheeks.
And there it is.
The answering grin that leaps to Seungmin’s mouth is fond and unbidden. That same wave of warmth from Wednesday washes through him again and then he realises.
“Shit.”
“What?” Changbin blinks, his orange juice halfway to his mouth. “What’s wrong?”
Seungmin shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says faintly. “Nothing at all.”
He just happens to have the fattest crush in the world on Hwang Hyunjin.
- 𓍯 -
minho is cute:
so when are u going to tell me all abt ur crush on our class president
seungmin is cuter:
i have no idea what you’re talking about
minho is cute:
u like hwang hyunjin
u want to kiss his mouth
u want to hold his hand
seungmin is cuter:
i don’t even know what a hand is
minho is cute:
u can’t hide this from me
i am all-knowing. all-seeing. all-powerful. i am,,,
korea's next top model
seungmin is cuter:
you're like 5cm tall???
minho is cute:
okay mr ‘i stare at hwang hyunjin all history lesson’
seungmin is cuter:
he sits right in front of the whiteboard??
minho is cute:
okay mr ‘i write “mr hwang seungmin & mr kim hyunjin” in the secret code i created when i was 12 to cheat in geography in my notebooks’
seungmin is cuter:
how tf do you know my secret code
...that i don't have
and that was only used for one test if i did
minho is cute:
i told u, i’m all-knowing
seungmin is cuter:
that’s just weird, i never even mentioned it to you
minho is cute:
anyways so u admit u like hwang hyunjin, right?
seungmin is cuter:
i’m sorry. the number you have texted is unavailable. please try again later.
- 𓍯 -
Hwang Hyunjin is officially the most gorgeous boy to ever exist ever. Yes, that’s “ever” said twice in one sentence because Seungmin needs everyone to know that he means it when he says that Hyunjin is the most beautiful person to walk this earth in the entire history of its existence. Birds sing when he speaks with that gentle, cutesy voice of his. Flowers spring to life at his every footstep, a trail of petals following him wherever he goes. The sun shines a permanent halo over his head.
Seungmin tries not to spontaneously combust whenever he sees him, but it’s hard work. Harder than knitting, even. On the outside, he likes to think he’s as cool as a cucumber, smiling good-naturedly at Hyunjin’s dorky jokes and teasing him until he receives a pretty blush for his efforts. Speaking to him in the classes they share and between the ones they don’t. Agreeing to be on the same team during Phys Ed. Hanging out with him during their club meetings, all casual and chill as if he hasn’t received any earth-shattering revelations recently.
On the inside, however? He’s permanently screaming.
Every time Hyunjin collapses against him with raucous laughter, every time he hums a quiet melody under his breath while he works on the pair of gloves he’s knitting, every time he gasps in horror whenever he loses a game during the Knit & Natter – all of it makes him want to just grab him and shake him. Shake him while yelling like a madman about how it should be illegal to be as cute as this.
Alas, Seungmin is also terribly allergic to admitting how he truly feels about someone. Jisung likes to say it’s because he’s a control freak who can’t handle the uncertainty that comes with confessing. Minho likes to say it’s because he’s a loser.
Whatever the reason is, it means that he’s constantly torn between shying away from anything that’s even remotely romantic versus taking the plunge to ask Hyunjin out. For real, that is. On the one hand, staying away means he can preserve what is a pretty good friendship. On the other hand, Seungmin is physically incapable of not shooting his shot at things he genuinely desires.
Which means he has a conundrum.
Usually, he’d turn to Changbin for help since Seungmin can rely on him to give solid advice, but they don’t really discuss their crushes with each other. Partly because, as previously mentioned, Seungmin regards the act of admitting his feelings for someone to be on the same level as calling his teacher ‘Eomma’ (aka the most humiliating thing one can experience). And partly because he’s always suspected Changbin to have feelings he doesn’t want to address for a certain aspiring musician they know. Emphasis on ‘doesn’t want to address’.
So that takes Changbin out.
Minho is already out of the question, purely because he’s texted Seungmin about his crush already and Seungmin flat-out refuses to give him the satisfaction of confirming that he’s correct. It doesn’t matter if they’re technically best friends. A guy still has to have his pride, alright? Besides, knowing Minho, his advice would probably be along the lines of winking Hyunjin into a date or something equally as ridiculous. Seungmin doesn’t think he even knows how to wink.
Which means that, by sheer circumstance of elimination, he ends up asking Jisung for help when he goes to study at his apartment on Sunday evening.
His friend gapes at him, clearly thrown by the way Seungmin launched the secret at him in the middle of solving a simultaneous equation. “Um. I’ve never asked someone out before.”
“Neither have I,” says Seungmin.
Jisung nods slowly. “That’s… kind of sad, actually. You’re way more popular than me.”
His mouth falls open in indignation. “I am not!”
“Uh. Yeah, you kinda are. I don’t think most people in our year even know my name.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.” It might be a little true. Aside from whenever he’s hauled to the front of class to answer for his lack of homework – and the subsequent detention he receives for it – Jisung spends most of his time at school sleeping and flying under the radar. Not that it matters. Seungmin isn’t exactly rolling around with a crowd full of popular heartthrobs when Jisung is fifteen minutes deep into yet another nap. “Either way, that’s not important. Just because people might know my name doesn’t mean I should’ve dated one of them by now. Plenty of people haven’t dated by our age! And I don’t see you hurrying to ask anyone out either so you can dial back the judgement, you git.”
“Why would I want to date someone when I can just hang out with you guys instead? That’s so much more fun than worrying about a girlfriend or boyfriend.”
“So then why am I expected to have dated someone?”
“Because you’re handsome,” Jisung says, waving a hand towards his face as if it explains itself. “You have nice hair and a nice smile and you look like the perfect high school boyfriend. I mean, I know you’re a nerd and you want to examine people’s teeth for a living and tell them to floss or whatever, but you’re still date-worthy. I’m sure Hyunjin will say yes when you ask him out. He likes average height guys who are nice. You’re exactly his type!”
Seungmin narrows his eyes in suspicion. “How would you know what his type is?”
“We’re in the same English class,” he says like it’s obvious. “He’s actually pretty good at speaking it, you know, so we pair up a lot of the time. He’s nice.”
Of course he is. Hyunjin is good at everything and nice to everyone. It’s both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he deserves to excel at whatever he puts his mind to. A curse because it means that Seungmin’s crush grows more and more helpless with every new bit of information he finds out about their class prez. He’s honestly pathetic by this point.
“Either way, I don’t know how to ask him out,” Seungmin says, fiddling with his pen. He lifts it to his mouth to chew on the nib. “It’s not like I can just say it.”
“Uh. Yeah, you can? That’s, like, the easiest way to do it, dude. Why wouldn’t you be able to just say it?”
“Because! That’s embarrassing.”
Jisung sighs and fixes him with a stern look. It doesn’t quite match the fluffiness of his cheeks or the remnants of sugar on his chin from the doughnut he scoffed down earlier, but he commits to it all the same so Seungmin tries to treat it with due respect.
“Look, Seungminnie,” he says, “I get that you’re, like, a tsundere or whatever, but in my humble experience – “
“You just told me you have none.”
“Um, I’ll have you know that I’ve read plenty of books and watched several romcoms which is basically the same thing. And everything I’ve consumed suggests that there’s a lot less drama involved when you straight-up admit your feelings for someone instead of worrying about what they might say. It cuts out the angst right away. So yeah, I think that just confessing your feelings would be the best thing to do.”
“I agree,” Jisung’s brother calls from the living room. He pops his head around the doorframe to grin encouragingly at them. “Just take the jump, man. I believe in you.”
“Hyung, would you stop listening in on my conversations! We’ve talked about this! It’s weird.”
“Your friends like me more than you,” Chan shoots back.
“They just pretend to like you because you look like you’ll eat them otherwise. Now go and videocall Sana-noona or something – and stop eavesdropping on me.”
“Ouch, so mean.” Chan places a hand over his chest and winces, shaking his head mournfully. Hands raised in an exaggerated sign for surrender, he backs away slowly, fighting a grin. Just before he disappears from view, he looks right at Seungmin. “Sungie’s right, by the way. I know in high school, it seems like it’ll be the end of the world if you confess to someone and things don’t go right, but it’s honestly never going to be as awful as you think. Especially because this Hyunjin of yours sounds like a good kid. Just ask him out, man. Or else you’ll always ask yourself ‘what if’?”
- 𓍯 -
Later that night, Seungmin ruminates over Jisung’s advice – and that of his brother’s – staring blankly into the murky darkness of his bedroom. Just ask him out. Just do it, like ripping off a plaster. Stride up to him, look into those damn shining eyes that haunt Seungmin’s daydreams and tell Hyunjin that he likes him and would like to share an ice cream together after school. Just… ask him.
Except.
Except.
It really isn’t as simple as that. Seungmin can already picture what would really happen if he did such a thing: how he’d approach Hyunjin after the next Knit & Natter meeting and try to ask him out, tripping over his words until Hyunjin asks him to repeat what he said. He’d do so dutifully, at which point that broad, inviting smile he likes so much would fade into something far more awkward, dipping into pity as Hyunjin explains how he doesn’t see Seungmin that way. As second year class president, he can’t just date any lowlife that fancies him. A logical stance to take, really. After that, Seungmin would have to pretend like it doesn’t hurt him to smile and reassure Hyunjin that he understands why the answer was no. And then he’d come home and watch Running Man while he despondently spoons three bowls of cookie dough ice cream into his mouth until his stomach threatens to send it all right back up.
So no. Seungmin can’t just walk up to him and confess. If he’s going to do something so asinine, he needs less words than that. Something small but meaningful. A gesture that will convey his intentions in a way that can also convince Hyunjin to give this poor nerd a chance.
But just what could that be?
Turning on his side, he idly entertains various ideas of what he could do. The closer he gets to sleep, the wilder they become, things he would never dream of doing in reality. Pulling off one of those dramatic promposals that Americans like to post all over social media, a marching band behind him as he bursts into classroom 3b to ask Hyunjin out. Walking up to him and snogging him senseless in the middle of the school cafeteria. Asking Jisung to help create a mixtape carefully curated for Hyunjin’s tastes. The sort of dramatic, cheesy declaration that would usually make him sprint for the door.
Just as he’s about to properly turn in for the night, an idea strikes like lightning. Gasping, Seungmin shoots up in bed and scrambles for the switch on his lamp. As the room floods with light, he breaks out into a grin.
“I’m a genius,” he announces to the air and then reaches for the knitting needles on his bedside table.
- 𓍯 -
By the time the next Wednesday rolls around, Seungmin’s grand gesture is complete and hidden away for safekeeping in a pocket inside of his school bag. For the past three nights, he’s worked hard on the project, careful to make every stitch as perfect as his limited skills can accomplish. A YouTube tutorial accompanied him throughout each painstaking hoop of yarn around his needles, played on repeat until he could recite the script ten times over. Given his lack of expertise, it was slow work, but his work ethic was as unrelenting as ever.
He’s nervous throughout the entire meeting, his leg bouncing underneath the table so much that Hyunjin clamps a hand down on it and squeezes.
“You okay?” he asks, studying him in concern. “You seem distracted.”
Seungmin can hardly look at his face without turning red. “Yeah,” he manages to choke out, meeting his gaze for a mere second before his eyes skitter away. “All good here! Just… thinking about something I have to do in a bit.”
“Oh, okay,” says Hyunjin. He returns to the scarf he’s working on and asks casually, “Do you want to share what’s on your mind or…?”
Damn it. As much as he wants to spit it out already, he can’t ask him out in front of the entire club – all six members who turned up today, Seungmin and Hyunjin not included. The thought is so terrifying he gets nausea just by entertaining it. Nope, no can do. Not happening tonight.
“Maybe later,” he says.
Hyunjin nods, unfazed. “Sure thing. In your own time.”
Although the meeting seems to last forever while it’s going on, the end of it, conversely, arrives much too soon. Before he’s aware of what’s happening, the other members have slipped past the door with cheery farewells and promises to see each other next week, leaving only Seungmin and Hyunjin in the classroom.
Hyunjin stands and starts to pack up the evidence of their meeting, humming under his breath as he flutters around the room. Not wanting to break the serenity of the moment, Seungmin silently helps him tidy up, tucking away the chairs and collecting stray strands of yarn to throw in the bin. When he’s finished, he pulls his coat and bag on, lingering next to where Hyunjin is sorting out his knitting supplies.
“You don’t need to stay if you don’t want,” he says, looking up at Seungmin. “I’m sure you want to get home and have your dinner.”
“No, I’m fine,” says Seungmin. His hand slips towards the flap of his bag, in search of the gift he has tucked away. “I like walking out with you.”
The sentiment causes Hyunjin to smile broadly, a bashful note in the laugh that escapes him. He closes his box of knitting supplies and places it on the table, reaching for his coat. Seungmin watches him, his throat dry as he psyches himself up. Time to take the plunge. It’s now or never.
“Hey, Hyunjin?” he says. His voice comes out stronger than he expects, not wavering even slightly to indicate his nerves. When he receives a hum in reply, he says, “Um. I know this is kind of random, but I’d just like to thank you for running this club. You probably don’t know this, but I didn’t exactly… think it was very cool when I first joined. But now I’m really glad that I did.”
“Aw, I’m glad you joined too,” Hyunjin says warmly. Then he smirks. “But I did know you thought that actually. I heard you complaining about it to your friends in homeroom the day after sign-ups closed. I never expected you to actually turn up so it really surprised me when you did.”
Well, shit.
That isn’t very good news, is it? Feeling terrible, Seungmin cusses out his occasional penchant for dramatics. How could he have not realised that Hyunjin had been there when he ranted about how he’d much rather be in the Debating Society instead of meeting up with a league of knitters every Wednesday afternoon? Granted, he didn’t know who the club leader was until the first meeting and Hyunjin clearly doesn’t hold his misgivings against him, but he can’t help but want to kick himself for his idiocy and inconsideration.
“Damn it. I’m so sorry about that – “
“It’s fine,” Hyunjin dismisses with a breathy laugh. “A lot of people think knitting’s weird or for old people. You’re not the first to say it.”
“But still. I feel bad.”
“Well, I’m telling you not to. As club leader and as your friend, I order you not to feel guilty about this. I only brought it up to tease you, honest – especially because you’re so passionate nowadays about how you want to knit hats for the dog shelter you volunteer at. You’re a changed man!”
Seungmin’s cheeks warm. He looks down at his feet. “I just don’t want G-Dachshund to be cold during monsoon season,” he mutters.
“Well, thanks to you, he won’t be. Isn’t that great?”
He nods. “Yeah. Yeah, it is. Which is why I wanted to thank you, really. Even though I didn’t have the… kindest view of this hobby before this year, it turns out that I actually do like knitting, even if I’m not great at it. And joining this club means that I’ve met more people and made new friends. Like you.”
Calling upon all of his courage, he tears his gaze away from his feet and looks Hyunjin directly in the eye. He’s already looking right at Seungmin, an inexplicable fondness in the set of his features. It whispers to a hopeful part of Seungmin that maybe just maybe things aren’t as hopeless as he fears. The sight encourages him to extend his hand out, offering his fist to Hyunjin. When Hyunjin glances down at it, he twists his wrist and unfurls his fingers to reveal the gift.
“This is for you,” he murmurs. “I hope you like it.”
Hyunjin plucks the red yarn heart from Seungmin’s palm and gazes at it wondrously. A soft smile unfolds on his face, so wide that his teeth bite down to contain it. When he looks at Seungmin again, his eyes drip honey.
“It’s so pretty. I love it.”
“It’s a little crooked,” Seungmin says, his ears hot, but Hyunjin shakes his head.
“I love it,” he repeats. “Thank you.”
“N-No problem.”
Heart still hammering in a quick tempo beneath his ribcage, Seungmin watches as Hyunjin moves to tuck the present in his pocket before he comes to a stop. Thinking better of it, he decides to curl his hand around it and keep it safe in his grip instead. Seeing it there in his hands – liking it, cherishing it – causes that warmth he’s now all too familiar with to rise like a tidal wave inside him.
Before he knows it, he blurts, “Also I was wondering if you like eating ice cream.”
Hyunjin pauses, his eyes wide. “That depends,” he says after a moment. “Would you judge me if I said I like mint choco?”
“I disagree with it on a moral basis but can respect your opinion. Even if I think it’s wrong.”
Laughing, Hyunjin reaches across with his free hand to smack his arm and then uses it to jerk Seungmin closer to him. “Then yes, I do.” His hand slips down to slot their fingers together. “I also like holding hands by the way.”
A broad smile takes over Seungmin’s face. Even without looking into a mirror, he can already tell it looks stupid. So freaking stupid. Funny how he couldn’t care less about it even if he tried. He marvels at their intertwined hands and squeezes them together. “What a coincidence. So do I.”
“Perfect,” Hyunjin says, mirroring his grin.
Yeah. It kind of is.
Seungmin nods, feeling as though his cheeks may split in two. “Perfect,” he agrees.
- 𓍯 -
MINHO FT. THE HOES
hanjiji baby baby:
seungminnie mouse
is it true you asked hyunjin out???
channie-hyung says he just saw you on a date with someone with brown hair!!!
minho is cute:
wait what
hanjiji baby baby:
!!! i know!!! i’m so proud!!! he took my advice!!
minho is cute:
he went to YOU for advice??
wow top ten anime betrayals
seungmin is cuter:
ofc your brother saw us and told
why am i even surprised
hanjiji baby baby:
congratulations seungminnie pants, you’re not a single nerd anymore
you’re officially a taken nerd
seungmin is cuter:
lmao thanx
minho is cute:
i can’t believe u told jisung that u like hyunjin and u didn’t tell me
i was literally the one who guessed it first
seungmin is cuter:
lol that's exactly why i didn't tell you
minho is cute:
i am…. hurt
but also:
i called this ages ago so in ur fucking face kim seungmin
i told u i know everything
seungmin is cuter:
ok loser
minho is cute:
i’m literally so much cooler than you
(bass boosted) CHANGBIN!!!:
oh my
oh my my my
what is this news i've just opened my phone to~
kim seungminnie~~ i’m so happy for you~~
i had a feeling it would happen too lol so it’s good to see my gut feeling was right
seungmin is cuter:
am i that predictable
minho is cute:
lol yea
(bass boosted) CHANGBIN!!!:
kind of tbf
hanjiji baby baby:
see seungminnie, i told you that all you had to do was confess !!!
people act like it’s a bigger deal than it actually is to just confess your feelings
but things always work out better than you think they will
it’s better to let out your feelings than keep them all bottled up inside :3
(bass boosted) CHANGBIN!!!:
you really think that?
hanjiji baby baby:
well yeah
even if your crush doesn’t like you back, if they’re a good person then they’ll be understanding and let you down nicely
you know what i mean?
(bass boosted) CHANGBIN!!!:
oh
right
interesting
- 𓍯 -
♡ 102 🗨️ 11
Liked by hanjijibaby and others
hyunie did he slip-stitch his way in or just straight up slide into my DMs <3
View all comments
seungminimarket knit & natter? more like stitch & hitch amirite
- hyunie knitting isn’t the only thing i can do with these hands :3 ㅋㅋㅋ
- leecute u absolute heathens, u both need god
- leecute also. WHAT DISGRACEFUL BEHAVIOUR FOR OUR CLASS PRESIDENT. THE TITLE SHOULD’VE GONE TO ME.
- seungminimarket omfg build a bridge and get over it
- leecute never.