Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Welcome to Shiz University.

Please consult the following Group Chat Rules and Codes of Conduct:

1.    Respect all members of the academic community.
2.    Use school-sanctioned communication channels responsibly. Please avoid foul language, innuendo, or utilizing chat rooms for bribery, gambling, unsanctioned spellwork, or public declarations of love.
3.    Please maintain proper use of chat functions. Do not initiate campus-wide romantic competitions using shared documents, voting polls, or emoji reaction battles.
4.    At campus discretion, faculty members may be called upon monitor student group chats if there is any evidence / suspicion of scandalocious actions. 
5.    Have fun!

Do note that your chats may be recorded in the university server for a period of ninety (90) days for training and maintenance purposes.

By participating in Shiz-sanctioned communication channels, you acknowledge and accept these terms.
The university is not liable for magical misfires, emotional entanglements, or enchanted amphibians arising from chatroom misuse.

Thank you for your cooperation.

📌 Pinned Message — Welcome to the Shiz University Group Chat
Auto-message generated by: Glinda Upland, Social Liaison (Self-Appointed but Widely Accepted)

Hi there! ✨
Whether you’re here for academic updates, social announcements, or just the occasional magical mishap, please remember:

“I believe that strangers are just people I’ve never met!” 💖
—Glinda

So let’s all be kind, respectful, and appropriately dramatic.

💬 No hexing in the chat.
💌 No unsolicited sonnets.
🍰 Bribes must be baked goods.
📚 And please—don’t start a romantic competition unless you’re willing to follow through with color-coded spreadsheets.

Thanks for being here! And remember:
This chat is monitored for chaos quality. Sparkle responsibly. 🌟

Chapter Text

Pt. 1: DO NOT FEED THE TOADS

[ Fiyero 🔥 | Nessarose | Glinda 🌟 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 ]

Boq W.:
so just asking hypothetically
if one were to touch Elphaba’s potion shelf
and now there’s a toad situation
is that bad

Nessarose:
Define “situation”

Boq W.:
let's say he has your voice and is *loudly* judging you

Glinda 🌟:
you made a sassy clone frog???

Avaric 💸:
give him to me
we'll name him Avafrog. sell him as a limited edition

Fiyero 🔥:
I'm telling Elphie bec this is HILARIOUS

Nessarose:
Fiyero, NO

Glinda 🌟:
FIYERO NO :O

Fiyero 🔥:
FIYERO YES.

Avaric 💸:
@ Boq W. praying for ur soul 🙏🏻

Boq W.:
can someone help hide me
and quintibald 🐸

Fiyero 🔥:
she says she loves it

Boq W.:
oh?

Fiyero 🔥:
hang on
she says she'd love it if you could stay put so she can show you how much she appreciates it

Boq W. has left the chat

Chapter Text

PT. 2: THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR CACTUS

[ Elphaba 💚 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Glinda 🌟 ]

Fiyero 🔥:
guys why is the greenhouse glowing

Elphaba 💚:
…define glowing

Boq W.:
huh?
oh i see it, we passed by earlier
it looks like it’s casting ominous shadows and humming a lullaby
quintibald doesn’t like it

Glinda 🌟:
oh oz
what if it’s that cactus you kissed yesterday for a dare?

Fiyero 🔥:
THAT WAS A JOKE
WHY DOES IT KNOW MY NAME
@ Elphaba 💚 HELP 

Elphaba 💚:
studying for oral exams tomorrow
good luck tho :)

Chapter Text

PT 3. Fiyero’s Secret Yearning (Must Be Stopped)

[ Avaric 💸 | Boq W. | Nessarose | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Pfannee the Pfirst :
Okay. He did it again.
He stared at her for a solid eight minutes during lecture. Didn’t blink once.

Boq W. :
that’s just a safety issue

Avaric 💸:
Did she notice?

Pfannee the Pfirst :
No, because she was arguing with a professor and planning a sit-in protest at the next Munchkin Governor’s Ball.

Nessarose:
Not again…
Father won’t like that.

Pfannee the Pfirst :
And Fiyero volunteered to chain himself to the gate.

Boq W. :
has he TRIED just telling her he likes her?

Pfannee the Pfirst :
Oh Boq.
My sweet summer child.
He once said “your fury is intoxicating” and she replied “that’s a known symptom of lead poisoning.”

Avaric 💸:
They’re one ethical debate away from slow-dancing in a burning archive.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
It’s like watching a Greek tragedy if the chorus was just frogs and unspoken feelings.

Boq W.:
Quintibald is a toad, actually 🐸

Shenshen 👠:
Do we think she even knows he’s in love with her?

Avaric 💸:
She probably thinks he’s just extremely supportive of leftist infrastructure sabotage.

Boq W.:
And emotionally allergic to eye contact.

Nessarose:
Honestly…
He might be.

Shenshen 👠:
Probably best that Glinda doesn’t see any of this
Scratch that
Too late

Chapter Text

Pt 4. Boq’s Doomed Crush Support Group

[ Boq W. | Fiyero 🔥 | Avaric 💸 | Glinda 🌟 ]

Boq W.:
okay, okay, okay
what if I just… told her.
like. “hey, nessa. i like your boots and also your face.”
idk. that’s normal, right?

Glinda 🌟:
Boq, that was… technically a sentence.
Now try again like you’re in a dramatic rain scene and you only have one chance before the curtain falls.

Avaric 💸:
Tell her in a mysterious riddle. Women love riddles.
Say it like “There is a candle in my heart that burns only when you scowl.”

Boq W.:
…that sounds like a disease

Fiyero 🔥:
Have you considered negging her?
Like, “Wow, your handwriting is so threatening today. I’m into it.”
Works for me every time 😎

Glinda 🌟:
No. Bad. Down, Fiyero.
Boq, here’s what you do:
Trip in front of her. But gracefully.
Let her catch you emotionally.

Boq W.:
okay. follow-up question.
how does one trip gracefully

Avaric 💸:
Make eye contact with the floor and surrender, king 👑

Chapter Text

Pt 5: Emergency Sparkle Triage

[ Glinda 🌟 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Glinda 🌟:
HE’S IN LOVE WITH HER???
WITH ELPHABA???

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Wait—Fiyero?

Glinda 🌟:
YES.
He said something about her “righteous fury” and how she “radiates terrifying grace”
HE SOUNDED LIKE A SAD POET WITH A CRUSH
I’M GOING TO SCREAM

Shenshen 👠:
I mean… she does.
In kind of a cursed librarian way.

Glinda 🌟:
EXACTLY.
She’s prickly and infuriating and wears boots with everything and corrects everyone in seminar
She’s impossible
She’s
She is
aaaaaahhhh

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Yours?

Glinda 🌟:
YES
SHE’S MINE.
I MEAN. NOT “MINE” MINE.
But she’s—she’s supposed to be arguing with me forever
Not making googly eyes with Mr. Shirt Buttons

Shenshen 👠:
Oh no.
You like her.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
You like like her.

Glinda 🌟:
I do NOT “like like” her.
I…
Okay.
Maybe????
A little?????????????????????????????

Shenshen 👠:
Glinda. You’ve written her name in your planner in five different inks.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
You once said “She makes me feel like I’m standing too close to lightning.”
And then sighed into a cupcake.

Glinda 🌟:
This is a disaster.
I have to stop him.
I have to—
I have to win.

Shenshen 👠:
War?

Glinda 🌟:
War.
Someone get me my curling iron

Chapter Text

Pt 6. Finals Week Survival (Spiritual, Emotional, Academic)

[ Elphaba 💚 | Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Nessa 🕯️ | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Glinda 🌟:
Mood: studying in a sequined robe while crying into flashcards.

Fiyero 🔥:
I ate a highlighter. It’s fine.

Boq W.:
do we think my professor will accept “the system is flawed” as an answer to everything

Elphaba 💚:
only if you write it in blood

Avaric 💸:
I haven’t studied but I have incredible bone structure and a shocking amount of luck.

Nessa 🕯️:
I made a color-coded study schedule, ritualized my desk, and sacrificed sleep.
We are not the same.

Glinda 🌟:
no offense but I’m trying to summon the ghost of a dead scholar for answers

Fiyero 🔥:
okay but if that ghost is hot can we keep him

Boq W.:
does anyone have a spare quill? mine exploded from stress

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Oh honey, no. You need emotionally stable stationery.
My new peacock-feather quill is waterproof, tearproof, and scented with resilience.

Shenshen 👠:
Also your outfit is… concerning.
We believe in looking better than your GPA.

Fiyero 🔥:
what does that even mean

Shenshen 👠:
It means “don’t cry in sweatpants.”

Elphaba 💚:
is anyone here actually studying
i don’t think “fashion resilience” is part of the rubric

Pfannee the Pfirst:
preparation is a full-body experience, elphaba

Glinda 🌟 posted a poll: “Exam Day 1 Outfit Options”

Shenshen 👠:
A. the draping is academic excellence

Avaric 💸:
B. it says “I’m failing but expensively”

Nessa 🕯️:
some of us are trying to learn

Boq W.:
some of us are trying not to cry into our notes again

Pfannee the Pfirst:
you can do both
just moisturize after

Chapter Text

Pt 7. Glinda is NOT Spiraling

📝 UNSENT PRIVATE MESSAGE — Glinda → Elphaba

hi
okay
so this is ridiculous and i’m sorry in advance
i just. needed to say. you looked really

hi again
i hope your lab went well today. you looked

fine

normal

FINE IN A TOTALLY UNREMARKABLE WAY
ugh

i’m not saying i noticed the way your eyes do that glowy murder thing when you’re concentrating but i DID
and it was UNNECESSARY
and frankly illegal??

ALSO
you’re not allowed to smile at fiyero like that
or frown at him
or talk to him
or breathe in his general direction

i mean. not because i care
i mean. i DO. but in a like. ethical way
not in a feelings way

anyway
do you want to study together later

ACTUALLY
ignore that

goodbye forever
or until class
whichever comes first

Emergency Sparkle Triage GC

[ Glinda 🌟 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Pfannee the Pfirst: 
📸 [photo: Glinda scrunched up and furiously typing on her phone]
📸 [Glinda's screen and blurry text draft 1]
📸 [Glinda's screen and blurry text draft 2]
You really should watch behind ur shoulder, Upland. 

Shenshen 👠: 
Awww, cupcaaaake

Chapter Text

Pt 8: Don’t Leave Your Phone Unattended

PRIVATE CHAT: Elphaba 💚 + Glinda 🌟

Glinda 🌟:
Your analysis in Conjuration was very compelling today.

Elphaba 💚:
You mean “argumentative.”

Glinda 🌟:
I mean brilliant.
And you only almost set one scroll on fire this time! That’s growth!

Elphaba 💚:
It was Boq’s scroll. He deserved it.

Glinda 🌟:
I’m just saying… you’re terrifying in the most aesthetically satisfying way.

Elphaba 💚:
...are you flirting with me or insulting me?

Glinda 🌟:
Yes.

Elphaba 💚:
🙃

Elphaba 💚 is typing...
Elphaba 💚 is typing...
Elphaba 💚 is typing...

Elphaba 💚:
Glinda.

It’s Fiyero.
She left her phone on the bench. I couldn’t help but notice you’ve been… persistent. 😇

Just thought I should clarify I’m also… very invested.
In a respectful, magical, destiny-adjacent kind of way.
So maybe… give her some space.

Cordially. 😊
—F.

Glinda 🌟: …
Did you just politely threaten me using her phone.

Elphaba 💚:
Not a threat.
A friendly heads-up. -F🔥

(Also, she blushed when I said “hex compatibility.” Just FYI.)

Elphaba 💚 deleted a message.
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Elphaba 💚:

WHY ARE THERE ELEVEN DELETED MESSAGES

WHY IS MY DRAFTS FULL OF EMOJIS
WHAT. DID. YOU. TWO. DO.

EXPLAIN

Chapter Text

Pt 9: OOPS WRONG CHAT

SHIZ UNIVERSITY: General Notices & Discussion
[ 89 members including Elphaba 💚, Fiyero 🔥, Glinda 🌟, Pfannee the Pfirst, Shenshen 👠, Boq W., Avaric 💸, Nessarose ... and at least one confused T.A. ]

Glinda 🌟:
I AM NOT JEALOUS
I am merely justifiably outraged that a certain tree-brained Winkie thinks he can waltz in, borrow someone’s PHONE, and LAY CLAIM to the most brilliant, sharp-tongued, morally inflexible girl in the year like she’s a midterm study guide he left too long in the sun

Glinda 🌟:
Also I had dibs.

Glinda 🌟:
This was meant for Pfannee.
Nobody read that.
Please.

Glinda 🌟 deleted a message.
Glinda 🌟 deleted a message.
Glinda 🌟 deleted a message.
Glinda 🌟 deleted a message.
Glinda 🌟 deleted a message.
Glinda 🌟 deleted a message.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Too late.
I’m printing it on a shirt.

Boq W.:
i would like to unsubscribe from this timeline

quintibald just asked me to explain what ‘dibs’ means

Avaric 💸:
i would like to fund this timeline

Fiyero 🔥:
So just checking—
does this count as you making the first move?

Shenshen 👠:
I am living for this slow-motion emotional catastrophe.

Elphaba 💚:
i am closing this app forever
do not speak to me in lecture

Professor Morrible (Admin) has joined the chat.

Professor Morrible (Admin):
“Please remember this group is for ACADEMIC purposes only.”

Elphaba 💚 pinned this message. 📌

Chapter Text

Pt 10: Elphie Does Not Understand Innuendo 

[ Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Elphaba 💚 ]

Glinda 🌟 (09:22)
Just a reminder: the phrase “I’m free after dark” doesn’t mean what you think it means, Elphie.

Elphaba 💚 (09:22)
It means I’m available after I finish my lab work.
What else would it mean.

Fiyero 🔥 (09:23)
...Should we tell her?

Glinda 🌟 (09:23)
No. It’s like watching a frog hop around a wine glass. Adorable. Confusing. Somehow sacred.

Elphaba 💚 (09:24)
You two are being extremely suspicious
Is this about the time I told the Dean “I’m ready when you are”?

Fiyero 🔥 (09:25)
...Yes.

Fiyero 🔥 (14:11)
So when I said "you can pin me against the wall anytime"
and you replied "I’d need proper anchoring spells for that"
Was that serious??

Elphaba 💚 (14:12)
Of course. We’ve had issues with structural damage.
Why would I risk a collapse just to make a point?
Wait, what did you mean?

Glinda 🌟 (14:13)
She’s not pretending. That’s the worst part.

Glinda 🌟 (21:45)
Fiyero said you “make his heart race” and you asked if he’s sure it’s not a potassium deficiency.

Elphaba 💚 (21:46)
It’s a common cause of palpitations.

Fiyero 🔥 (21:46)
You’re killing me.

Elphaba 💚 (21:47)
Then increase your banana intake.

Fiyero 🔥 (21:46)
How are you like this.

Elphaba 💚 (21:47)
Chronically.

Chapter Text

Pt 11: Existing Neutrally (Fiyero Takes a Break from Flirting)

[ Fiyero 🔥 | Elphaba 💚 ]

Fiyero 🔥 (08:01)
Morning.
Not trying to flirt today.
Just… existing neutrally in your direction.

Elphaba 💚 (08:02)
Thank you.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Fiyero 🔥 (11:47)
I brought your library book back.
Didn’t read it. Felt like it was smarter than me.
It won the stare-down.

Elphaba 💚 (11:48)
Most printed objects are smarter than you.
But thanks.

Fiyero 🔥 (16:15)
Saw you in the courtyard today.
Didn’t wave. Just admired you from a respectful, platonic distance.
Like a rock. Or a particularly aloof fern.

Elphaba 💚 (16:15)
Are you okay.

Fiyero 🔥 (16:16)
I’ve entered my “emotionally repressed monk” era.
You broke me, Elphie.
But like, politely.

Elphaba 💚 (22:06)
You know, you’re quieter when you’re not trying to be charming.
It’s...nice.
Soothing, almost.
Like background thunder. Or moral ambiguity.

Fiyero 🔥 (22:07)
Wait.
Was that…
Did you just compliment me?

Elphaba 💚 (22:08)
No.
It was an observation.
Anyway, thanks for carrying my books earlier.
You're surprisingly stable under pressure.
Like a magically enhanced ox.

Fiyero 🔥 (22:08)
That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.

Elphaba 💚 (22:08)
It was a factual comparison?

Fiyero 🔥 (22:09)
Still going in the scrapbook.

Fiyero 🔥 (22:17)
If I told you I used to dream about you saying things like that to me, what would you do?

Elphaba 💚 (22:18)
Correct the grammar.
Then maybe ask you to carry more books.
Why?

Fiyero 🔥 (22:18)
No reason.
Just adjusting my expectations.
And my heartbeat.
And maybe my whole emotional architecture.

Elphaba 💚 (22:19)
You’re being weird again.

Fiyero 🔥 (22:19)
You said I’m like thunder. Let me have this.

Chapter Text

Pt 12: 💅 This Is Fine (It’s Not)

[ Glinda 🌟 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Glinda 🌟 
OKAY.
Okay.
Elphie called him “soothing like thunder.”
Do you understand what that MEANS??

Pfannee the Pfirst 
That she wants to crawl inside his shirt like a little storm gremlin?

Shenshen 👠 
That she’s emotionally constipated and this is her version of pillow talk?

Glinda 🌟 
YES.
YES TO BOTH.
AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW SHE’S FLIRTING.

Pfannee the Pfirst 
To be fair, she also once called you “a necessary disruption.”

Glinda 🌟
I KNOW. It lives rent-free in my diary.

Shenshen 👠 
Are we… panicking?
Or plotting?

Glinda 🌟  
I don’t know!!
I was FINE with the attention tug-of-war.
But now she’s handing him WORDS like “thunder” and “stable ox” and letting him live??

Pfannee the Pfirst 
It’s giving “pining loser gets table scraps and thinks it’s a buffet.”

Shenshen 👠 
It’s giving main character shift.

Glinda 🌟 
I HATE THAT FOR ME.

Pfannee the Pfirst 
You want us to sabotage his skin care routine?
Make his cheekbones less trustworthy?

Glinda 🌟 
No!
...Maybe.
But mostly I want her to look at me like I’m a particularly aloof fern, okay??

Chapter Text

Pt 13: IS THIS ANYTHING?!?!?!

[ Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Nessarose ]

Fiyero 🔥 
GUYS
She said I’m like thunder.
Thunder!!!
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??

Boq W. 
like. loud and bad for pets?

Avaric 💸 
Bro. Bro.
This is it.
You’re in.
She compared you to weather. That’s full literary affection.

Nessarose 
...Why am I in this chat.

Fiyero 🔥 
Because you understand her language!!!
She called me “a magically enhanced ox” and I THINK that’s love??

Boq W. 
you know she also called me “emotionally slippery as a toad,” right
and I almost cried

Avaric 💸 
That’s because it’s accurate.
She was flirting with Fiyero. You? Just cataloging amphibians.

Fiyero 🔥 
Also she said I’m “surprisingly stable under pressure.”
That’s romantic, right?
Like… emotional scaffolding??

Nessarose 
She said that because you carried twenty books without whining.

Fiyero 🔥 
YES!
And then she thanked me. Like with a pause before it. Like “...thanks.” Like it MEANT something.

Boq W. 
i’m worried about you

Avaric 💸 
I’m invested.
Is this what true love looks like? Delusion and literary metaphors?

Nessarose 
This is what trauma bonding with a sarcastic genius looks like.
May the gods help you.

Chapter Text

Pt 14: You trust me in a crisis?

[ Fiyero 🔥 | Elphaba 💚 ]

Fiyero 🔥  
So hey
Out of curiosity
What did you mean the other day when you said I was “surprisingly stable under pressure”?

Elphaba 💚 
Exactly what it sounds like.
You’re… grounding.
Less likely to implode than the average person.

Fiyero 🔥 
Grounding.
As in... emotionally? Or like. Architecturally?

Elphaba 💚 
Both?
If I were in a crisis, you’d probably hold the line while Glinda screams and Boq cries.
That’s valuable.

Fiyero 🔥 
WAIT WAIT WAIT
Hold on.
You trust me in a crisis??

Elphaba 💚 
Yes???
You carried three unconscious professors last semester and didn’t drop any of them.
You may be ridiculous, but your survival instincts are surprisingly refined.

Fiyero 🔥 
That’s the hottest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
Ever.
In my life.

Elphaba 💚 
That… really shouldn’t be the bar.

Fiyero 🔥 
It’s you.
Saying you trust me.
That’s like being knighted in your emotional monarchy.

Elphaba 💚 
If you cry about this, I revoke the statement.

Chapter Text

Pt 15: Spring Fling Preps

Shiz Social Committee (Unofficial but Powerful)

[ Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 | Glinda 🌟]

Pfannee the Pfirst:
I’m sorry but we NEED a Spring Fling.
Morale is DOWN.
The library smells like despair and ink.

Shenshen 👠:
Pfannee saw a first-year crying into a stack of blank parchment.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
She said she was “mourning her unwritten future.”
That’s the level we’re at.

Shenshen 👠:
A quill snapped in the Common Room yesterday.
No one touched it.
It just gave up.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
We need sparkle. We need music.
We need a distraction before someone combusts.

Glinda 🌟:
Wait, are we planning a party or a support group?

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Yes.

Shenshen 👠:
With themed refreshments.

Glinda 🌟:
Okay, I support this.
Some people clearly need an outlet for their emotional weirdness.
All this romantic tension flying around like a curse with bad aim.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Mmm.

Shenshen 👠:
Go on.

Glinda 🌟:
I mean I get it, some people have… confusifying feelings, unresolved tension
maybe a shared history of heated arguments and banter so pointed it practically qualifies as foreplay but
Wait.

Glinda 🌟:
um

Pfannee the Pfirst:
There it is.

Shenshen 👠:
We got there.

Glinda 🌟:
Clearly I meant that as a general observation
i think

Pfannee the Pfirst:
You are the romantic psychodrama, sweetie

Glinda 🌟:
…I need to lie down.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Ok but planning meeting tomorrow after class

Shenshen 👠:
I'll bring my binder.

Chapter Text

Pt. 16: Elphie won’t know what hit her.

PRIVATE CHAT: [Glinda 🌟 | Pfannee the Pfirst]

Glinda 🌟:
Have you seen the Spring Fling flyer.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Oh I wrote the flyer.

Glinda 🌟:
Then you understand.
This is war.
Romantic. Symbolic. Tulle-based.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Say the word and I will summon the seamstress.

Glinda 🌟:
Elphie will not know what hit her.
I will be subtle.
I will be graceful.
I will absolutely wear a backless gown.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
You’re going to emotionally devastate the entire east wing.

Glinda 🌟:
I deserve her.
And she deserves a love that knows how to accessorize.

PRIVATE CHAT: [Fiyero 🔥 | Avaric 💸]

Fiyero 🔥:
...did you see the flyer.

Avaric 💸:
Which part broke you:
the tagline, the lighting effects, or the underlying sense of imminent emotional reckoning

Fiyero 🔥:
All of it.
This is it.
This is where I prove I’m the one she can count on.
I’m thinking moonlight. Music. A cactus centerpiece, maybe?

Avaric 💸:
no cactus. never again.

Fiyero 🔥:
Right. Good call.
This time, I’m doing it right.
No grand speeches. No flexing.
Just me, a genuinely thoughtful gesture, and a tailored jacket that says “I’m not like other princes.”

Avaric 💸:
I will allow this if I get to narrate it like a sports commentator.

Chapter Text

Pt 17. Something’s in the air and I don’t trust it.

PRIVATE CHAT: Elphaba 💚 + Nessarose

Elphaba 💚:
Is it just me or is there something…
off lately

Nessarose:
Define “off”

Elphaba 💚:
I mean
why is Glinda suddenly hovering like a hummingbird on a sugar bender
and Fiyero has started casually “dropping by” with pastries
LIKE I WOULDN’T NOTICE

Nessarose:
So you did notice

Elphaba 💚:
Yes?! I’m not blind, Nessa.
Today Glinda complimented my spell structure and gave me a cookie.
She never gives out cookies. She collects them.

Nessarose:
And Fiyero?

Elphaba 💚:
He called me “a radiant force of uncompromising intellect.”
I almost hexed him on instinct.

Nessarose:
So again:
You did notice

Elphaba 💚:
This isn’t about noticing.
This is about SURVIVAL.
Something’s in the air and I don’t trust it.

Nessarose:
It’s spring.
It’s affection.
It’s literally flirtation, Elphie.

Elphaba 💚:
Horrifying.

Nessarose:
You’re adorable.

Chapter Text

Pt 18: Boq’s Doomed Crush Support Group Pt 2

[ Boq W. | Fiyero 🔥 | Avaric 💸 | Glinda 🌟 ]

Boq W.:
Okay okay okay
So like
hypothetically
if someone brought Nessa a flower
and she said “Thank you, I suppose”
and then didn’t throw it away in front of me
that’s good right?
That’s like. Flirting???

Fiyero 🔥:
…it’s not bad.

Avaric 💸:
Define the flower.

Boq W.:
It was a dandelion. I spelled her name in the fluff.
Took 45 minutes. I used tweezers.

Glinda 🌟:
Oh Boq.
That’s either very romantic or a cry for help.

Boq W.:
She kept it
Or at least I didn’t see her destroy it.
I think I’m gonna write her a poem next.
Something with dramatic enjambment.

Fiyero 🔥:
you’re one soft lute solo away from proposing

Avaric 💸:
Do NOT mention her ankles again.

Boq W.:
YOU SAID THAT WAS A GOOD LINE

Glinda 🌟:
It was a line, Boq.

Avaric 💸:
Just be chill. Be casual.
Ask her to Spring Fling like it’s no big deal.

Boq W.:
Okay… okay yeah…
Yeah.
Just one question.

Fiyero 🔥:
Oh no.

Boq W.:
What do I do if she says yes.

Chapter Text

Pt 19: Delicate Matters (Thropp & Co.)

[ Nessarose 🕯️ | Glinda 🌟 | Elphaba 💚 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Nessarose 🕯️:
So
Not to be dramatic
But if someone were to receive a flower
Spelled with their name
In dandelion fluff Is that… normal?

Pfannee the Pfirst:
It’s dramatic.
It’s poetic.
It’s slightly terrifying. I support it.

Shenshen 👠:
That’s the kind of gesture that haunts you through two marriages and a career in law.

Glinda 🌟:
You mean Boq?
That boy has been radiating “I wrote a secret poem” energy all week.

Nessarose 🕯️:
...maybe

Elphaba 💚:
You’re all ridiculous.
It’s a weed.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
It’s a metaphor, Elphaba.
We’re cultivating mystique.

Shenshen 👠:
Not everything is about practicality.

Glinda 🌟:
Personally…
I think a gesture like that could be sweet.
If it came from someone you maybe didn’t expect.
Someone who sees you in a way no one else does.
Someone who notices what you try to hide.

Elphaba 💚:
...okay
That was weirdly specific

Glinda 🌟:
Was it?
Just hypothetically speaking, of course 💅

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Girl.

Shenshen 👠:
GIRL.

Nessarose 🕯️:
Anyway. Back to me, please??

Glinda 🌟:
Right. Sorry. Yes.
Now. Are you going to respond?

Nessarose 🕯️:
I drafted this, tell me if it’s too much:
“Thank you for the flower. It made the day feel lighter than usual.”

Elphaba 💚:
That’s vague enough to cause a spiral.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
It’s perfect.

Shenshen 👠:
It’s ambiguous. It’s elegant.
He’s going to write an epic.

Glinda 🌟:
He’s going to see poetry in sidewalk cracks for weeks.

Chapter Text

Pt 20: A Slow-Burn Courtship

[ Glinda 🌟 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Glinda 🌟:
Okay.
You both saw it, right?
I made the symbolic gesture speech
and Elphie said “that was weirdly specific.”
She looked at me. From across the room.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
You flirted. In academic metaphor.
She almost noticed.
This is major progress.

Shenshen 👠:
Have you picked your confession outfit yet?

Glinda 🌟:
I can’t just confess. What if she doesn’t like me that way???
What if she thinks I was talking about like. A poet. Or a gardener.
Or Fiyero.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
If she thought it was Fiyero she would’ve left the chat.

Glinda 🌟:
…true

Shenshen 👠:
Elphaba deserves a romantic overture.
You should plan a whole week of quiet, devastating gestures.
Like a heart-shaped bookmark.
Or annotated margin notes.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
A slow-burn courtship!
Like subtextual sonnets across scrolls!

Glinda 🌟:
…what if I give her my favorite pen
with a note that says “for rewriting the rules”?

Pfannee the Pfirst:
STOP IT
I’M SCREAMING
THAT’S SO HOT

Shenshen 👠:
DO IT.
Seal it with wax. Go full literature warlock.

Chapter Text

Pt 21: Boq’s Courtship Crusade

[ Boq W. | Fiyero 🔥 | Avaric 💸 ]

Boq W.:
GUYS.
She replied.
Nessa replied.
“Thank you for the flower. It made the day feel lighter than usual.”
Lighter than usual. LIGHTER THAN USUAL.
I AM THE SUN

Fiyero 🔥:
Bro you are bioluminescent rn.

Avaric 💸:
That’s not flirting.
That’s myth-making. You’re basically folklore now.

Boq W.:
Wait.
WAIT.
What if she meant it in a friend way
like “aw, sweet frog boy gesture, now go away”

Fiyero 🔥:
Don't do this.

Boq W.:
WHAT IF SHE WAS JUST BEING POLITE
what if it was a pity-dandelion situation
what if I misread the entire tone of the fluff

Avaric 💸:
Sir.
She called it “lighter than usual.” That’s basically intimacy.

Boq W.:
That’s what makes it worse!!!
How light is her day normally???
Am I a breeze?? A gust???
A meaningless waft of pollen??

Fiyero 🔥:
you’re a tornado in the shape of a boy
pull yourself together

Boq W.:
ok
ok
breathing through it
crisis haiku incoming:

her words made me float
or maybe just my ego
is this what love is

Avaric 💸:
You need to sleep. Or duel. Something with structure.

Boq W.:
NO.
I’ve made my decision.
I’m going to ask her to Spring Fling
in the most emotionally resonant, possibly historic way possible.
I'm talking: night sky. soft lighting.
a single violinist. maybe a dove.

Fiyero 🔥:
Have you checked if Shiz allows doves indoors?

Boq W.:
NO TIME FOR PERMITS.
BOYS
IT'S HAPPENING.

Chapter Text

Pt 22:  Elphie is surrounded by chaos and needs one (1) responsible wife.

[ Glinda 🌟 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Did you hear?? Boq’s planning some kind of Spring Fling spectacle for Nessa.
It involves string instruments and a dove.

Shenshen 👠:
Bless him.
I hope it’s a trained dove.
You know how Elphaba gets about unauthorized birds.

Glinda 🌟:
He’s sweet.
And honestly? I hope it works out.
Nessa deserves someone who’ll spiral poetically for her.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
That’s very noble of you.
Meanwhile you are being out-flirted by a toad-loving, crown-wearing fire hazard.

Glinda 🌟:
…I’m working on it.

Shenshen 👠:
You should be.
Elphie is surrounded by chaos and needs one (1) responsible wife.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Exactly.
Fiyero’s going to show up shirtless and holding a shrub or something.

Glinda 🌟:
He’s predictable. I can outmaneuver that.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
So what’s the plan?
Subtle intellectual seduction?
Shared pens?
A moodily annotated book?

Glinda 🌟:
All of the above.
Plus a field trip to the Astronomy Tower.
I just need her to say yes without realizing it’s a date.

Shenshen 👠:
You are terrifying.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
We’re so proud.

Chapter Text

Pt 23: Operation: Woo the Witch

[ Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 ]

Fiyero 🔥:
Gentlemen.
It's official.
I’m going all in.

Boq W.: ...on what

Avaric 💸:
Please don’t say interpretive dance again.

Fiyero 🔥:
ON ELPHABA.
The time for subtle pining is OVER.
It’s time for bold declarations, semi-legal flower theft, and dangerous charm.

Boq W.:
Semi-legal????

Avaric 💸:
Define “bold declaration.”
Are you writing poetry?
Or just showing up shirtless again.

Fiyero 🔥:
I was THINKING of poetry.
Like:

“You haunt my thoughts like a spell gone wrong—but in a sexy way.”

Boq W.:
Nope.
Nope nope nope.

Avaric 💸:
That sounds like you got cursed by a candle.

Fiyero 🔥:
Fine.
What if I just… bring her muffins?
Like. Casually.
Every morning.

Boq W.:
THAT’S MY MOVE.
I was gonna do muffins!

Avaric 💸:
You can’t both do muffins.
We need romantic differentiation.

Fiyero 🔥:
Okay okay okay
What about this:
I find out what she’s studying
And I learn it
And then we “accidentally” run into each other at the library
And I say “need a partner?”

Boq W.:
She’ll crush you in an academic debate.

Avaric 💸:
You’ll be obliterated.
Which could be hot.
Depending on the vibe.

Fiyero 🔥:
…hot academic ruin it is.

Chapter Text

Pt 24: Spectators of the Spiral

[ Avaric 💸 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Boq W. | Shenshen 👠 | Nessarose 🕯️ ]

Avaric 💸:
Update from the front lines:
Glinda and Fiyero have BOTH shown up to the library.
With snacks.
At the same time.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Weapons drawn.

Avaric 💸:
Glinda brought cinnamon rolls.
Fiyero brought strawberries.
They both smiled at each other like “how nice to see you here, darling,”
but I felt the air drop ten degrees.

Shenshen 👠:
Elphaba?

Avaric 💸:
Unaware.
Deep in a tome called "Hexes That Ruined History." Looks peaceful. Terrifyingly peaceful.

Boq W.:
This is worse than when two frogs fought over my sandwich.

Nessarose 🕯️:
Let the record show:
I warned them.

Avaric 💸:
Fiyero just scooted his chair one millimeter closer.
He is chewing aggressively.
I think he believes this is seductive.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
He’s eating strawberries like it’s a music video.
Someone stop him.
Okay Glinda just asked Elphaba what her favourite theoretical framework is.
I’ve never seen anyone flirt with philosophy before.

Avaric 💸:
She called Elphaba’s analysis “luminous.”
Fiyero looks like he’s about to commit an academic crime.

Nessarose 🕯️:
It’s like watching two confused peacocks attempt a mating dance.
With side quests.

Shenshen 👠:
Keep the updates coming.
I’m making popcorn.

Avaric 💸:
ALERT
Fiyero just attempted a “cool” book-reach maneuver
Jumped for a top shelf with one hand
MISSED
And brought down half the Transfiguration Theory section

Boq W.:
IS HE OKAY

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Physically yes
Emotionally?
He just tried to pass it off as “stretching”
HELP
^as in this man needs it

Nessarose 🕯️:
She’s going to hex him.

Avaric 💸:
Meanwhile:
Glinda stood on a chair

Recited the title of her annotated book like it was a romantic sonnet
Then “accidentally” dropped a note into Elphaba’s lap

Shenshen 👠:
What did it say??

Avaric 💸:
I can't tell from here but I think it just made Elphaba's cheeks change hue.

Boq W.:
She is terrifying.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Okay but then
THEN
They started trying to “one-up” each other with "study insights"
Louder
More impassioned
Until Elphaba went
"THIS IS A LIBRARY NOT A DUEL"

Nessarose 🕯️:
Do I need to call the dean
I fear she is going to hex them

Avaric 💸:
And then—AND THEN—Fiyero tried to apologize with a cartwheel.

Boq W.:
What is WRONG with him

Shenshen 👠:
And the bookshelf?

Avaric 💸:
Still broken
Possibly cursed now

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Librarian kicked them ALL out
Elphaba walked out in silence
Pure storm cloud energy

Nessarose 🕯️:
You’ll know if she forgives them
By whether they wake up as frogs tomorrow.

Boq W.:
Quintibald wouldn’t mind a few friends 🐸

Nessarose 🕯️:
Also @ Pfannee the Pfirst, @ Avaric 💸
When did you start studying in the library together? 🤔

Pfannee the Pfirst left the chat

Avaric left the chat

Chapter Text

Pt 25: Do I radiate “please perform stunts near me” energy? 

[ Elphaba 💚 | Nessarose 🕯️ ]

Elphaba 💚:
They broke a bookshelf, Nessa.
They cartwheeled near ancient tomes.
They're a hazard to the reference section.

Nessarose 🕯️:
I know.
I’ve received five “witness statements.”
Two were in iambic pentameter, which was beyond excessive.

Elphaba 💚:
I’m so tired.
And I had to carry all my things myself because Fiyero tried to offer help with dramatic flourish.

Nessarose 🕯️:
He tripped over his own apology.
I saw it.
It was… an experience.

Elphaba 💚:
Do I radiate “please perform stunts near me” energy????

Nessarose 🕯️:
Do not reply to either of them tonight.
Let them stew.
Let them craft worse poetry.

Elphaba 💚:
So you're saying
I should weaponize the void?

Nessarose 🕯️:
Silence is the most elegant form of vengeance.
Meanwhile, I've been warned by more than one person to be ready for illicit birds
What does that mean???

Elphaba 💚:
I think it means we need to transfer schools.

Chapter Text

Pt 27: A new challenger appears in the battle for Shiz’s most elusive enigma.

💌 The Letter

Delivered to Elphaba’s dorm, written in fine cream cardstock. Elegant penmanship.

Dear Elphaba,

Thank you for your last letter. It’s been too long since we last met. I hope you’re still arguing with professors and frightening lesser minds.

I have news: Shiz is allowing me to tour the campus next week. I’m considering transferring in the spring term.

(I’ve heard the library is even more dangerous than advertised. I’m intrigued.)

If you’re not too busy saving the world or hexing idiots, I’d love to see you. It’s rare one gets to meet a legend in person.

Your old co-conspirator,

Cymric

 

---

💌 Fiyero’s Message to Elphaba:

okay so i know i broke the bookshelf
and maybe a chair
and also maybe the concept of indoor volume
but i meant well
i brought strawberries
that’s a love language right
anyway
you looked really nice and i like when you explain spells like you're arguing with the universe
sorry
you deserve peace and good acoustics
please don't hex me

---

💌 Glinda’s Message to Elphaba:

Elphie dearest,
I’m sorry about the library. I may have… over-curated my presence.
You were trying to study and I respect that.
I just… wanted to be near you. And share page 143.
Please consider forgiving me. Or at least sending a formal reprimand in handwriting I can frame.
With affection (and regret),
G. 💖

---

📰 "WHISPERS IN THE WINGS" GOSSIP COLUMN DROP

Published anonymously in The Shiz Sentinel. 

📰 “Strangers, Suitors, and Spellbooks: A Campus in Crisis”

As hearts rise and GPA’s fall, a new challenger appears in the battle for Shiz’s most elusive enigma (and reportedly most hex-capable scholar): Elphaba Thropp.

Yes, dear readers. While former contenders spiral—offering baked goods, dramatically choreographed study sessions, and questionable bookshelf acrobatics—this newcomer needs no such display.

Rumor has it he’s a pen-wielding poet with years of history and handwritten lore.

Could this quiet contender spell the end for the blonde and the bombastic?

Stay tuned.
W.W.

Chapter Text

Pt 28: He used to write her when she had no one else.

GROUPCHAT: Spectators of the Spiral

[ Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 | Avaric 💸 | Boq W. | Nessarose 🕯️ ]

Pfannee the Pfirst:
I need a moment of silence for Glinda’s ego.

Shenshen 👠:
And Fiyero’s hair.

Avaric 💸:
I told them this was a long game.
And now a poet has entered the arena.

Boq W.:
Do we know who this penpal is??
Is he hot??
What’s his handwriting like???

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Confirmed: elegant script. No hearts. Just devastating wit.

Nessarose 🕯️:
He used to write her when she had no one else.
So yes. Be afraid.

Boq W.:
How do you even get this information @Pfannee the Pfirst??

Pfannee the Pfirst:
I can't help if I'm just that trustworthy.

Boq W.:
YOU TOLD MORRIBLE ABOUT THE DOVES. SHE PUT ME ON PROBATION.

Nessarose 🕯️:
What doves?

Pfannee the Pfirst:
My lips are sealed.

Shenshen 👠:
Re: penpal. Is it too late to start a second column called “Battle for the Bookworm”?

Avaric 💸:
You think this is bad? Wait until Glinda and Fiyero find out… and realize they were out-romanced by calligraphy.

Chapter Text

Pt 29: You found out about the penpal, didn’t you.

[ Glinda 🌟 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Shenshen 👠:
So.
How was your day?

Glinda 🌟:
I’m fine.
I’m FINE.
I’m totally, utterly, impeccably composed.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
You found out about the penpal, didn’t you.

Glinda 🌟:
OH, the penpal?
The poet? The handwritten-letter-sending, shared-history-having, “I knew her before she was terrifying” charming little scribe???
Yes. I may have heard.

Shenshen 👠:
We just wanted to let you know gently.

Glinda 🌟:
I am unbothered. I am a vision in silk. I sparkle with emotional regulation.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
…You’re reorganizing your brooch collection, aren’t you.

Glinda 🌟:
THAT IS A NORMAL COPING ACTIVITY.

Shenshen 👠:
What do we know about him?

Glinda 🌟:
He used to send her seasonal riddles and quotes from banned books.
He once included a pressed clover. I saw it in her drawer.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
That is heinously romantic.

Glinda 🌟:
I KNOW.

Shenshen 👠: You okay?

Glinda 🌟:
I don’t want to talk about it.
I want to win.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Oh?

Glinda 🌟:
I am done playing gentle.
She will know I am the one who remembers how she takes her tea, who keeps an extra bottle of potion polish in her shade of green.
She will know.
She will see.
She will choose me.

Shenshen 👠:
YES. 👠👠👠

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Let the campaign recommence.

Glinda 🌟:
Operation Subtle Lightning is officially back on.

Chapter Text

Pt 29:  Romance is dead and this man is the murderer.

[ Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 ]

Boq W.:
So.
Not to be dramatic.
But… Elphaba got a letter.

Fiyero 🔥:
Yeah?
She gets letters sometimes.
She’s smart.
People write her.
It’s fine.

Boq W.:
This one was wax-sealed.

Fiyero 🔥:
…Okay.

Boq W.:
With violet ink.

Fiyero 🔥:
I don’t see how
wait what

Avaric 💸:
He signed it “your co-conspirator.”
Romance is dead and this man is the murderer.

Fiyero 🔥:
WHO IS HE
WHAT DOES HE WANT
WHY DOES HE KNOW HER HANDWRITING BETTER THAN ME

Boq W.:
He mentioned the library.
And wanting to see her.

Fiyero 🔥:
That’s MY library time.
That’s my staring-from-behind-a-book-and-pretending-I’m-reading time.
IS NOTHING SACRED??

Avaric 💸:
Sounds like this guy’s been emotionally literate since day one.
He probably asks how she feels. On purpose. With eye contact.

Fiyero 🔥:
Shut up.
I can do feelings.
I can… do metaphors.

Boq W.:
Prove it. Describe your feelings right now in a metaphor.

Fiyero 🔥:
I feel like…
like a cursed cake.
On fire. But also wet.

Avaric 💸:
That’s just a tragic soufflé, my guy.

Fiyero 🔥:
I HAVE TO WIN HER BACK
I MEAN I WAS NEVER OUT. I MEAN
SHE’S MINE. PROBABLY. MAYBE. I’M PANICKING.

Avaric 💸:
Do we sabotage the penpal?

Boq W.:
Do we duel him?

Fiyero 🔥:
No.
We’re mature.
We’re… strategic.
We’ll win this with charm. Wit. Presence.

Boq W.:
You're going to try to “accidentally” fall into her lap again, aren’t you.

Fiyero 🔥:
No comment.

Chapter Text

Pt 30:  He’s coming for a tour, not to claim the throne.

💌 Letter from Elphaba Thropp to Cymric Allond

Dear Cymric,

Your last letter arrived safely, despite your bird attempting to establish dominance over my window ledge. Just so you know, we have the normal mail system here, too.

I’m glad to hear you’ll be visiting, though. I assume Shiz’s charmingly haunted architecture and disproportionate budget for decorative ivy appealed to your aesthetic sensibilities.

The library is still dangerous. I’m fairly certain one of the second-floor books tried to eat a student last week.

I’ll be around. Things have been… chaotic. Some of my classmates have started hovering. Literally, in some cases. I suspect an epidemic of social overstimulation.

But I’d be glad to see you.
Just knock twice on the greenhouse door. If something growls, check to make sure the sign says it’s fed.

E

P.S. Thank you for the clover. It’s pressed into my notebook. I hadn’t realized you remembered the story.

GROUPCHAT: Thropp Sisters Sync-Up

[ Elphaba 💚 | Nessarose 🕯️ ]

Elphaba 💚:
Heads-up: Cymric is visiting next week.

Nessarose 🕯️:
The penpal?

Elphaba 💚:
Yes.
He’s thinking of transferring, poor fool.

Nessarose 🕯️:
And you’re just… saying this so casually?

Elphaba 💚:
Should I announce it with a parade?
He’s coming for a tour, not to claim the throne.

Nessarose 🕯️:
Okay, but El.
Have you noticed anything weird around you lately?

Elphaba 💚:
Weird how?

Nessarose 🕯️:
Like people appearing in your personal space.
Bringing you things.
Glinda and Fiyero somehow haunting your every step.

Elphaba 💚:
Oh, that.
I think they just… need attention?
Midterms do strange things to fragile minds.

Nessarose 🕯️:
They’re competing for your favor like you’re the Spring Fling crown.
Which you’re somehow unaware you’re wearing.

Elphaba 💚:
You're being dramatic.
Also, do you think they’ll help me give Cymric a tour?
They’ve both been popping up anyway. May as well put them to work.

Nessarose 🕯️:
Oh my Ozianna.

Elphaba 💚:
What.

Nessarose 🕯️:
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
This will be entirely fine.

Chapter Text

Pt 31: Love Triangle to Love Rhombus

[ Nessarose 🕯️ | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 ]

Nessarose 🕯️:
Just letting everyone know
there will be an Event next week.

Boq W.:
What kind of event
Like snack cart event or fire drill event or “Fiyero tried to flirt again” event

Nessarose 🕯️:
A visitor is coming.
Elphaba’s old penpal.
They’ve been writing to each other for years.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Oh from the bulletin?? Mr Perfect Calligraphy himself?
ALREADY???????
Oh noooo

Shenshen 👠:
Oh YES.

Avaric 💸:
Oh dear gods.
Fiyero and Glinda are going to explode.

Boq W.:
Love triangle to love rhombus
In our very own campus

Nessarose 🕯️:
You’re all being weird.
I’m simply saying: prepare yourselves.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Emotionally?

Nessarose 🕯️:
Physically.
Psychically.
Spiritually.

Shenshen 👠:
What’s happening, exactly? 
Should we clear the hallway and lay rose petals?

Avaric 💸:
Absolutely not.
We should sell binoculars and commemorative scarves.

Nessarose 🕯️:
He’s considering transferring for the term.
If he does...

Boq W.:
What’s the over-under on Glinda fake fainting?

Pfannee the Pfirst:
What’s the over-under on Fiyero offering a shirtless fencing demonstration?

Nessarose 🕯️:
May the Ozian gods have mercy on us all.
I will be watching from a reinforced balcony.

Chapter Text

Pt 32:  You’re not giving a tour. You’re hosting a battle royale.

[Fiyero 🔥| Elphaba 💚 ]

Fiyero 🔥:
Hey!
Heard you’ve got a guest coming next week.
Just wanted to say... if you need help showing him around…
I am an expert on Shiz’s less academic charms 😎

Fiyero 🔥:
I mean the gardens. And the cafeteria. And...
Okay, I can also juggle if it comes to that.
No pressure. Just putting my… extremely casual and totally platonic hat in the ring.

Fiyero 🔥:
I could also perform a completely rehearsed dance number in the library, should it come to that. I'm just saying.

We have options.

[Glinda 🌟 | Elphaba 💚 ]

Glinda 🌟:
Darling!
I simply insist on helping with the campus tour.
Visitors must be dazzled, and who better than moi to do the dazzling? ✨

Glinda 🌟:
Also, I know which library windows look nicest at sunset and how to avoid that weird corridor that smells like pickles.
Let me be useful. Or at least decorative!

Glinda 🌟:
I can also bring a selection of Welcome Chocolates. It's only polite. I suppose.

[Elphaba 💚 | Nessarose 🕯️]

Elphaba 💚:
Okay so
Both Glinda and Fiyero just offered to help with the tour.
This will be... fine, right? This is a good decision?

Nessarose 🕯️:
Do you really not see it?

Elphaba 💚:
See what?

Nessarose 🕯️:
You’re not giving a tour.
You’re hosting a battle royale.