Chapter Text
Chapter One: Glass
‘There. Enjoy the air.’
Elphaba thought herself quite clever for her little quip, but in truth, she was trying to distract Galinda from the fact she’d lost her temper. It wasn’t that she was particularly concerned about whether her new roommate found her unsettling or not - she’d already made her thoughts on that very clear - but she if she was going to be stuck with the girl, she didn’t want to scare her, as such, by exposing her penchant for losing her cool with her magic.
Galinda, for her part, was staring wide-eyed at the broken glass of the balcony window without moving. It was almost amusing to Elphaba - she’d been raging around the place like a miniature pink tornado, and all it took to shut her up was a door slamming and glass fracturing. Or perhaps it was the swift demonstration of magic that did it. Elphaba didn’t particularly care. She marched back over to the dusty corner of the suite Galinda had apparently assigned her, and carried on shoving boxes and suitcase to give herself some space.
Of all the things Elphaba expected out of her day, suddenly enrolling at Shiz and getting saddled with a talkative, irksome blonde was not on her list. A part of her tried to be grateful for the opportunity, but as she leaned over the narrow bed she’d been supplied and yanked off the rest of the window covers, spluttering from the dust, she couldn’t help but feel as if it was some sort of cruel trick. Any minute now, she was expecting someone to jump out, laugh at her, and load her onto a boat back to Munchkinland. Don’t be so ridiculous, they would proclaim. Why would we let someone like you join such an illustrious institution just because you can do a handful of magic tricks ?
Shuddering at the very thought of it, Elphaba bundled up the drapings and chucked them at the foot of the bed. She flapped a hand in the air to dissipate some of the dust. How had it even gotten there? Given Galinda’s obvious wealth, surely Shiz’s cleaners would’ve made certain the suite spick and span? I bet she found a way to somehow make it dusty on purpose , Elphaba frowned. It was quite peculiar to think someone capable of such a petty thing within minutes of meeting, but Elphaba would not put it past her. She wouldn’t say she disliked Galinda on sight, but her attitude left much to be desired - particularly since was refusing to help Elphaba make space.
‘You know,’ Elphaba muttered, grunting as she pushed at a particularly large trunk embossed with Galinda’s personalised crest ( what sort of a person has their own crest, of Oz’s sake! she thought to herself), ‘you could give me a hand instead of standing there gawking. Just what did you pack ? Your kitchen sink?’
Galinda, who still hadn’t moved from the balcony, didn’t say anything. Elphaba straightened up and glowered at her back. ‘Right. Pretend I’m not here. Don’t worry, I’m very used to that old trick.’ She gave the trunk a mighty shove with her foot, and it slid a little further across the room. Galinda turned, then. And Elphaba was startled.
For whatever reason, Galinda seemed much, much paler than she had been five minutes ago, and she was working her lower lip between her teeth with such frantic fervour, it was a wonder she had any lipstick left. Her eyes were darting all around the room, and, to Elphaba’s unwelcome concern, she seemed to be trembling ever so slightly.
‘Why are you - don’t kick my stuff!’ she managed to blurt out. But her voice was ragged around the edges, as if she couldn’t quite get the words unstuck from her throat.
‘You stuff is in the way,’ Elphaba scowled. ‘Not sure it’s cause for whatever this is, though.’ She gestured vaguely to Galinda’s trembling form. ‘Calm down. It’s just a trunk.’
Galinda’s lips parted just a hair. Her chest was rising and falling faster, much faster. Elphaba was momentarily uneasy - is she really that upset about me moving her things around? - but she quickly dismissed her own train of thought. Galinda Upland was a dramatist, she knew that. And this was just another example of it.
‘You - you broke the window,’ Galinda stammered. She had pressed a hand to her chest, as if she was aware she was breathing too quickly.
Elphaba frowned at her. ‘...Yes, I’m well aware.’ She suddenly felt a little awkward with Galinda staring at her, eyes as wide as saucers and overly bright. Maybe she had spooked her more than she realised. ‘Um, sorry. I can ask the Estates team to come and fix it.’
She watched as Galinda struggled through a thick swallow, her throat almost spasming with the effort of it. The girl gave herself a little shake.
‘You better. It’s - it’s a terrible way to make an impression,’ she spluttered, looping her arms around her middle and giving herself a squeeze. ‘There’s glass everywhere. I’m not cleaning it up.’
‘I don’t recall asking you to,’ Elphaba said flatly.
‘No, but I can’t - we can’t just leave it here.’
‘Oz, what do you want me to do ?’ snapped Elphaba, her short temper getting the better of her. Galinda flinched at little. ‘I’ve already told you I’ll get someone to come and fix it, and if it’s that much of a big deal for you, I’ll sweep up the stupid glass. But not before you stop being dramatic and help me clear some space so I can - hey, where are you going?’
Without another look in her direction, Glainda had stumbled past her and the growing disarray of her possessions, and flounced into the bathroom. Elphaba blinked after her, startled as she slammed the door behind her. She stood dumbly for a moment, not quite sure what to do with herself. She didn’t really want to irritate Galinda to that extent, but she couldn’t deny the tiny flare of satisfaction she felt when she stormed off. How easy it is to ruffle her , she shrugged.
It was only after one of Dr Dillamond’s seminars did Elphaba realise something was genuinely amiss, and it was the first of a handful of incidents that made her realise she had more in common with Galinda than she first thought.
*
The seminar room was a little too warm for Galinda’s tastes. That, combined with the fact that Dr Dillamond’s classes were so spectacularly boring , she often found herself at risk of dozing off. It didn’t help that she appeared to be experiencing a rather vicious bout of insomnia - something that Elphaba Thropp was entirely responsible for.
Despite appearing as what some would perceive as an airhead, Galinda was more than aware of her situation. Or, more accurately, her preposterous predicament. Huffing through her nostrils, she slumped her chin into her hand, covering her mouth with her palm, and her eyes drifted over to the aforementioned green menace. Perhaps if she merely pretended to scream into her hand, some of her frustrations would be unleashed without bringing undue attention to them. The last thing she wanted to do was cause commotion enough to distract the class. And it wasn’t as if Elphaba was looking in her direction, anyway. She’d been giving her the cold shoulder since that morning, when she woke up to find herself imprisoned with stacks of pink suitcases, trunks, and boxes.
Smirking at the memory, Galinda felt a little better. That’s all she had to do. Focus on all the petty jibes, the childish tricks, and cutting remarks that had been exchanged over the first week they’d shared since enrolment. Such an intense reaction had to come from somewhere , after all. Galinda didn’t loath people without good reason. She was far too nice for that. In fact, exchanging verbal blows with Elphaba was almost enjoyable. Watching her roommate try to appear unbothered, until Galinda picked and prodded and poked enough for her to snap, angry and flustered… flustered . Yes, that was always quite enjoyable.
Galinda resisted the urge to scream into her hand again as her mind strayed to that particular situation once more. It was reaching the point where it was genuinely keeping her awake at night - hence the insomnia. She was acutely aware that she was applying more and more make-up under her eyes to disguise the shadows, and she was even considering adopting Shenshen’s suggestion of resting tea bags on her eyes to help with the swelling. The caffeine acts as a natural antioxidant and increases blood circulation! she had proclaimed over breakfast that morning, after Pfannee had made a comment on Galinda’s appearance. That certainly spelled trouble - Pfannee was usually oblivious to most things around him. If even he was noticing Galinda’s telling eyebags, then something was desperately wrong.
But despite her best efforts (and her general anxiety about not looking her best), Galinda could not settle her thumping heart and roaring thoughts enough to sleep . It had been going on for a week. She tried to blame the perfectly normal feeling of being unsettled in a new place, but who was she kidding? And of course Elphaba, curse her, continued to sleep like a baby. That made it even worse . She wasn’t paying a single spare thought to Galinda. No, her thoughts must’ve been occupied with her special tutelage under Madame Morrible, or her wild aspirations to meet the Wizard, or which of her frumpy outfits to wear which somehow looked good on her - no ! Galinda let out a muffled squeak. No, Elphaba did not look good in her ridiculous clothes, no matter how well they complimented the deep, charming green of her eyes, or - stop it!
‘Are you okay?’
Galinda glanced to her left to find Shenshen looking at her with a peculiar expression. Her little squeak must’ve been louder than she thought. She quickly plastered on a smile.
‘Y-Yes, all good!’ she whispered. ‘Just struggling to stay awake. This is so dreadfully dull.’
‘You can say that again,’ Shenshen murmured. ‘And - oh, typical . The swotty broccoli strikes again.’
Galinda followed her line of sight to find Elphaba with her hand in the air. She hadn’t even realised that Dr Dillamond had asked a question to answer . She straightened up in her seat. It turned out that Elphaba was asking a question rather than answering, which was just like her. Instead of sitting and listening to the lecture like a normal student, she had to go and draw attention to herself and show off how engaged and intelligent and discerning she - no, no, no! It is not a good thing to be such an insufferable geek!
‘Does she ever take a day off?’ Shenshen muttered. ‘Honestly, it’s like she wants everyone’s eyes on her. If I looked like her, I’d do the decent thing and stay locked up somewhere out of sight.’ She let out a quiet chuckle, but Galinda didn’t join in. She didn’t know what Shenshen and the rest of the student populace saw, but in her eyes, Elphaba was quite beautiful, in a strange, beguiling sort of - stop it, right now!
Shenshen nudged her, as if annoyed that she hadn’t laughed along with her, and Galinda immediately let out a burst of laughter that was altogether much too loud. Heads snapped around to stare at her.
‘Something amusing, Miss G-Glinda?’ Dillamond bleated. For a goat, he couldn’t half look irritated.
Galinda felt her cheeks heat up. Shenshen had shrunk down in her seat - so much for camaraderie - and the weight of everyone’s gaze on them was making Galinda squirm. She liked attention, of course, but on her own terms. And there was a distinct difference between having attention and being the centre of it. The latter she never enjoyed.
‘Um,’ she cleared her throat, trying to cling back to her usual unflappable energy, ‘I - it was a cough. Is it illegal to cough in class, Dr Dillamond?’
The students sniggered as Dillamond’s ears twitched in vexation.
‘Only when the cough is quite clearly an aggravating shriek of laughter.’
Galinda’s eyes locked onto Elphaba, her mouth falling open in outrage. Aggravating shriek? Just who does this girl think she is?!
‘Well perhaps I was unable to contain my laughter because I caught sight of that absolutely dastardly dress you have on,’ Galinda said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. ‘I mean, come on , Elphaba. Even you ought to know it’s wrong to rob a corpse of its burial outfit.’
That earned a ringing chorus of unkind laughter that made Galinda feel both relieved and a little guilty. But when Elphaba next opened her mouth to retort, the guilt was immediately replaced with embarrassment.
‘You knew exactly what outfit I was wearing before we even set foot in here,’ Elphaba said, totally ignoring the laughter that erupted at her expense. ‘You spent most of your morning eyeing me from your mirror as I changed into it, after all.’
The laughter vanished as quickly as it started, and Galinda went a very peculiar shade of pink. She was extremely aware that everyone was staring at her again, and she felt the tips of her ears starting to burn with heat.
‘I - well - I was just taken-aback by your repulsive form, if you must know!’ she snapped, her voice cracking.
‘Uh-huh. Hence the unwavering observation.’
‘You -’
‘ - Settle down, girls,’ Dillamond said tiredly. ‘I’d rather not have to endure this back-and-forth every seminar, if I can help it. I do have a class to teach.’
‘Sorry, Dr Dillamond,’ Elphaba said immediately, lowering her gaze. Galinda merely folded her arms. Like heck she was going to apologise to that old goat when he still couldn’t pronounce her name properly. Fortunately, Dillamond knew better than to press the matter, and he seamlessly slid back into his teaching. Galinda didn’t know or care what he was talking about, and put her chin in her hand again. Her face still felt hot.
Instead of paying attention, she blinked down at her desk, eyes flickering over the paper Dillamond had marked. A couple of days into their first week, he requested they put together an essay on The Great Drought - something that technically wasn’t in the curriculum, and Galinda’s result had…not been good. She pouted as she looked at the poor percentage scrawled over the top and myriad of corrections scrawled in red ink. She briefly wondered how Dillamond even held the pen that criticised her so, but, as with the equipment set up in his seminar room, he probably had an adapted piece. A savage part of her wished he didn’t - for at least then, he wouldn’t be able to make her feel all small and stupid for her failing grade. Thank goodness it doesn’t contribute to our final results, she thought to herself.
Of course, Galinda’s academic struggles had been an enduring part of her life for as long as she could remember learning to read and write. Her teachers had called her every belittling phrase in the book - dopey, slow, woolley-headed - words gentle enough to her ears, until she realised they were trying to find a kinder way to call her stupid. She pressed her lips together, glowering at the 27% on her paper as if it had personally offended her. It had, in a way. It made her feel frustrated and embarrassed. It made her feel like a child again, fighting back tears when she couldn’t keep up in the tortuous weekly quizzes, no matter how hard she tried. And she did try. Maybe not as hard as she could in this particular case, but she wasn’t lazy. She just didn’t like History. Unfortunately, the trend had started to emerge in her other classes, too. But she didn’t really want to think about that.
The light in the seminar room suddenly darkened, and Galinda lifted her head up from her chin to find Dr Dillamond was setting up his custom made projector. Oz, he’s so grossly obsessed with his little slide decks , she frowned. She couldn’t give two hoots about what he was going on about, but Elphaba’s attention was rapt, as always. Galinda was a little jealous. The only times she really concentrated was when she was actually interested in what she was doing. Otherwise her mind would wander, and presently, she couldn’t help but imagine how pleasant it would be to be the object of Elphaba’s devout attention instead of teaching content, green eyes devouring every minute detail and movement - what in Oz are you thinking?! It would not be pleasant at all!
Galinda straightened up and gave herself a little shake, mentally berating herself for such an alarming - and inaccurate - train of thought, but for better or worse, her mind couldn’t linger on that, for the sudden sweep of shocked gasps rather derailed her. She blinked, trying to work out what she was seeing. As soon as Dr Dillamond flipped the blackboard, words in red were lit up by the burning projector, setting them ablaze.
Animals should be seen and not heard.
Dillamond was rattled. Murmurs erupted across the seminar room, making Galinda’s ears buzz. Then, several things happened at once. In his mounting fury and panic, Dillamond had demanded to know who was responsible, and Galinda whipped her head around at her fellow classmates, as if expecting them to raise their hands, to own up, they seemed just as startled as he was. For a moment, Galinda felt sorry for him. It wasn’t his fault he was Animal. Yes, she disliked him, but only because he taught the most boring subject in all of Oz and assumed, like most academics, that she was nothing but an airhead. He didn’t deserve such disdain. She watched, wide-eyed, as he ordered them out of the room. When no one moved, he said it again, louder, and stumbled back into a little table.
Galinda’s breath caught in her throat as she saw a flower vase topple. Her hands instinctively shot to her ears, but it was too late - the vase tipped, met the ground, and the sound of shattering glass splintered in the space.
And then people started to move, gathering their things, stuffing books in bags and hurrying to get out as quickly as possible. A wave of collective embarrassment seemed to pulsate throughout the classroom - seeing an authority figure in distress was uncomfortable for the students - but Galinda was feeling uncomfortable for an entirely different reason. She stared at the broken glass, her jaw locking in place, fists clenching, palms sweating.
‘Galinda, hurry up already,’ Shenshen scowled, on her feet and looming over her. Galinda, frozen in her seat, was blocking her from leaving. Her words got stuck in her throat, but she scrambled to her feet, knocking against the desk as she did so.
‘S-Sorry,’ she stammered. Her chest was tight. The back of her neck was hot. No, no, no. Not now. Not here .
Shenshen looked at her oddly. ‘It’s okay, don’t worry. But let’s get a move on, shall we? It’s rare class is dismissed so early. We might as well make the most of it.’
Galinda nodded, clutching her books to her chest, her dreadful assignment tucked out of sight in her notebook. She wavered a little as she stumbled after Pfannee as he led them out, eyes glued to the back of his head. She needed something else to focus on, something other than the breaking glass, the noise of it, so loud and grating and charged and - she gritted her teeth together. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. She hated herself for it.
Once they were out in the corridor - voices loud and overlapping as their classmates unpacked what they had just witnessed - Galinda realised it wasn’t just hard to breathe. She couldn’t breathe. Her grip around her books was whiteknuckled. She was trying to listen to what Pfannee and Shenshen were saying, trying to join in, but her words kept getting stuck in her throat. Is it tightening? I think it’s tightening. Oz, I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I can’t -
‘ - Galinda. Galinda!’
Panicked eyes snapped up to find Pfannee and Shenshen frowning at her as their fellow students dispersed around them.
‘Er - w-what?’ squeaked Galinda, her voice breathless, fractured, in pieces.
‘We asked if you wanted to go to the sun room,’ Pfannee said, referring to a large, glittering conservatory on campus made up entirely of stained glass. It was a beautiful place, but Galinda had no desire to be anywhere else but somewhere private, quiet, where she could get a hold of herself and calm down .
‘I - yes, I’ll join you, but I just -’ she struggled around a tight gasp that forced its way out of her throat, ‘ - need to use the bathroom. Yes, bathroom.’ She gestured vaguely down the corridor to where she knew the girls’ lavatory to be - not that she ever went in there. She couldn’t stand public restrooms, so full of germs, and much preferred making the trip back to her room to use the en suite. Unfortunately, that particular trait of hers had been noticed.
‘Bathroom?’ Shenshen snorted. ‘Galinda, you hate the campus bathrooms. If you’re going all the way back to your dorm, then we can just come with you and hang out there instead.’
No, please, no - ‘It’s f-fine. I don’t mind. I’ll be quick.’
Not giving them another moment to protest, Galinda hastened away from them. Her shoulders had crept up to her ears, and she felt so rigid that it almost hurt to put one foot in front of the other. But she had to get out. Away. Away, yes, away .
*
Elphaba hadn’t noticed she’d nicked her finger on the broken glass of the flower vase until she’d left Dillamond’s classroom. The sting of it only registered vaguely, and she looked down in surprise to see a thin line of blood blooming from her skin. Ever diligent, she headed for the restrooms to clean it.
Elphaba wouldn’t describe herself a hypochondriac, per se, but she was likely a little too conscious about her own health. She knew where it stemmed from. It wasn’t hard to look inwards and pinpoint her assiduousness. She’d seen her mother after Nessa’s birth - just a glimpse, a harrowing, narrow line through the crack in the door - but the blood on the sheets and the slack expression on her face had been burned so viscerally into Elphaba’s eyes, that she used to imagine scrubbing them with a scouring sponge as if it could rid them of the image. That, coupled with the fact that she was rarely attended to when she was ill - Duclibear did her best, but she had so many other duties to attend to - meant that Elphaba worked a little too hard to ensure she never fell ill. And the cut, small though it was, was a breeding ground for infection if she didn’t clean it.
She remembered when she was about 8, and she and Nessa had both fallen unwell with a stomach bug. Nessa had undivided attention from her father and staff, constantly topping up her water glass and dabbing her brow with a cooling towel. Elphaba, meanwhile, was left to curl up on the tiles of the bathroom floor, vomiting into the toilet with no one to hold her hair back. While Dulcibear had tried to reassure her that no, it’s not you, sweet thing, it’s just your sister is younger and less able than you are - Elphaba knew the truth. No one wanted to care for her. The message was clear. And from that episode on, Elphaba was left in her sickness - with the occasional fleeting visit from an increasingly busy Dulcibear - and she learnt her lesson. Do not slip up and let yourself get poorly.
Sighing to herself, Elphaba pushed open the door of the bathroom and went inside. Mercifully, only one cubicle was occupied. Elphaba had seen one too many of her classmates grimace whenever she entered the bathroom, as if repulsed they evidently had to share with the likes of her , and she wasn’t in the mood for any additional hostility. Her mind was ablaze with anger for Dr Dillamond, for the cruel words on the blackboard, for the fact the only friend she’d actually made was her teacher -
A strange sound interrupted her manic thoughts. She paused from where she was about to turn on the tap and clean the cut, frowning. It sounded almost like a wheeze. Something strangled, something choked. Her ears strained to listen, but then she realised she was probably being weird, and turned on the tap. The water turned pink as it mixed with the blood from her finger, and she hissed in pain. She washed it thoroughly and dabbed it dry with her hankie - she certainly wasn’t going to use bog roll - and was just unwrapping one of the plasters she carried around with her when the noise came again, louder. It was unmistakable - someone was crying.
Elphaba internally groaned. Walk away. It’s none of your business. Just walk away . They wouldn’t appreciate your help, anyway.
But she used to be the sort of girl to cry in the school bathrooms, too. Her goodness got the better of her.
‘Um,’ she cleared her throat, talking at the closed door, ‘sorry. Are you okay?’
The sound stopped for a moment, before a ragged, broken breath cut into the awkward silence of the bathroom. A loose tap dripped and Elphaba shifted on her feet.
‘It’s alright,’ she said, at a loss. ‘I mean - it’s probably not , since you sound upset, but whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be okay. Just - can I help, at all?’
Nothing. Only more snuffles, hitched breathing, the sound of someone struggling. Elphaba bit her lip. She didn’t know what to do . Should she leave? What would be the decent thing? Insist on being a listening ear?
‘I…do you need a hankie? I’ve got a clean one here,’ she asked, cringing at herself. Naturally, she carried around several. ‘That is - well, the loo roll here isn’t particularly forgiving on one’s skin, is it?’
A tiny, broken whimper sounded from the cubicle. Elphaba edged closer, pressing her palm gently against the door. She imagined another hand on the other side, separated by the panel of wood.
‘It’s okay,’ she said softly. ‘Let me pass it under the door for you, okay?’
‘... Okay .’
The voice was raw, tight, in pieces. It made Elphaba’s chest hurt. Rummaging in her other pocket, she produced a fresh, pale green hankie embroidered with her initials, and stretched down to slip it through the gap in the door. There was a flash of a pale hand, of pink, perfectly painted nails, and the hankie was gone. Elphaba straightened up.
‘Thank you,’ came the fragile voice. It sounded so uncertain, so scared . For a moment, Elphaba wanted to break the door down and take whoever was so upset in her arms, if only to reassure them for a moment.
‘It’s not a problem.’ There was the distinctive sound of someone blowing their nose into it. ‘Er…You can keep it.’
A soft, watery laugh came from the cubicle, and a smile tugged at Elphaba’s lips. Laughter was a good sign. There was something oddly familiar about that sound, though, but she couldn’t place it.
‘I hope you feel better soon,’ she said, fiddling with the strap of her bag. ‘I - er - I’ll leave you to it. But whatever has you so upset will probably all blow over, you know? Things always seem worse in the moment.’
There was no reply, just more sniffling, and Elphaba took that as her cue to leave.
*
Galinda always took extremely long baths. It wouldn’t have bothered Elphaba if she didn’t think she was doing it on purpose. Her eyebrow twitching, she stared at the closed door, watching as steam unfurled from the thin crack above the floor and listening to Galinda’s tuneful singing. At least she can actually carry a tune , Elphaba thought. It would probably be the final straw if she sounded like a drowned cat.
The rest of the day had ticked on - though talk of the incident in Dillamond’s class was rife - and come the evening, Elphaba was exhausted . All she wanted was to go through the bathroom so she could crawl into bed. Her lesson with Madame Morrible had been draining, considering she had finally managed to harness her power long enough to levitate a coin, and then she’d inadvertently crashed Dr Dillamond’s covert Animal gathering. The details of what he’d told her were deeply concerning - and that, coupled with enduring the usual jibes from her classmates - had all bundled up to make her thoroughly vexed. She wanted to sleep , and Galinda was getting in the way of that.
‘Galinda!’ she said, putting her palm against the door. ‘Get a move on. You’ve been in there for ages , and some of us want a full night’s rest!’
‘ Mmm, beauty sleep, is it? ’ came Galinda’s tittering voice. ‘ I can’t say it’s working particularly well for you. ’
Elphaba’s nostrils flared. ‘Well at least I don’t spend hours in the bathroom preening myself like some sort of self-absorbed peacock.’
Galinda let out a gasp, and Elphaba heard a violent splash of water, as if Galinda had hurled her fist into it. ‘ Peacock? Don’t compare me to a horrible old bird , Elphaba. ’
‘Then perhaps you’d rather I likened you to a pig, since you’re such a bathroom hog .’
The ensuing shriek of outrage made Elphaba smirk, and it had the desired effect. Not five minutes later, Galinda burst from the bathroom in a sweet-smelling cloud of steam, eyes flashing, cheeks flushed from the heat of her bath.
‘You’re looking a bit pink in the face, Galinda,’ Elphaba grinned. ‘Careful, otherwise you really won’t be able to fight the hog allegations.’
Galinda, if possible, went even pinker .
‘Just - ugh, get out of my way!’ she snarled, deliberately clipping Elphaba’s shoulder as she did so. ‘And anyway, I’d much rather be pink than a disgusting green like you !’
Elphaba didn’t bother replying. She’d got what she wanted - an empty bathroom. She shut the door and slid the lock, biting the insides of her cheeks to stop herself from laughing. It was so easy to wind Galinda up. She put her pyjamas on top of the closed toilet seat - since that morning when she felt Galinda looking at her critically when she was changing, she decided she’d rather have some privacy. Though come to think of it, was it really what I’d call a critical gaze? She seemed - no, don’t be ridiculous.
Shaking her head, Elphaba tugged her dress off. Galinda had been mortified to learn that they had to do their own laundry - what makes them think I have the foggiest idea how to do that?! - and was even more irate when she realised there was only one laundry hamper. She had given Elphaba a wicker basket to use so neither girl would have to sort through the other’s dirty clothes. To the untrained eye, such a gesture seemed quite kind, but Elphaba knew it was because Galinda quite simply didn’t want to share.
Rolling her eyes at the fuss she had kicked up, Elphaba bundled up her dress and dropped it into the assigned basket. As she started to unbutton her shirt, her eyes caught sight of something very odd in Galinda’s hamper. There was a scrap of green amongst the pink. Elphaba’s mouth fell open. She let her curiosity get the better of her and nudged aside her - oh, Oz, that’s a pair of her underwear! Why is it so small?! - and found her hankie, embroidered initials and all, nestled between a lone sock and a shirt sleeve. She blinked at it for a moment, wondering how it got there. She always handwashed her handkerchiefs, given their delicate fabric and personalised stitching, and it meant she could sterilise them properly at a hotter temperature than normal garments. So, it wasn’t a case that she’d mistakenly dropped it into Galinda’s hamper. Then what is it doing here?
The realisation hit her like a frying pan to the head. She whirled around to look at the bathroom door, as if expecting Galinda to notice the slip-up and come storming in to correct it. But she didn’t, of course. Elphaba let out a sharp breath. It had been Galinda in the bathroom earlier, sounding so dreadfully distressed. A nasty wash of guilt swarmed up from Elphaba’s gut. Did I upset her because of what I said in class? What other possible reason would Galinda Upland, of all people, have to cry about?
Her mind whirring, Elphaba secured her braids in a bonnet and quickly hopped into the shower. Unlike her roommate, she didn’t like to waste her time languishing in the tub, and instead scrubbed herself quickly and efficiently beneath the shower head. Should I say something? she pondered, as she rooted around the shower caddy to try and find her body wash. Galinda’s various bathing products took up 99% of the space, and Elphaba couldn’t even name some of them, let alone know what they were for. But the girl did always smell extremely pleasant, so Elphaba couldn’t really complain - wait. That’s a peculiar thing to think, isn’t it? Shaking her head, Elphaba worked a blob of her plain body wash between her palms and cleaned herself.
When she was all finished and content in her pyjamas, she glanced at the hankie again. Without really knowing what she was doing, she snatched it up, opened the bathroom door, and found Galinda at her vanity. The girl was scrupulously going through her skincare routine, her hair wrapped up in a fluffy pink towel. Elphaba watched her for a moment, admiring the gentle curve where her neck met her shoulder, and immediately wondered why in Oz she’d be thinking about that. Holding the handkerchief behind her back, she cleared her throat. Galinda eyed her from the mirror.
‘If you’re going to try and coax out an apology for how long I took in the bathroom, then don’t bother,’ she scowled, tugging off the stopper of one of many bottles littering her vanity.
‘I wasn’t going to. I’d have better luck talking to a brick wall.’
‘Are you calling me dense ?’
‘Sure, if you like,’ Elphaba shrugged.
Galinda glowered at her. ‘If you must know, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom because I actually care about my appearance, and seek to refine it.’ Elphaba watched her lips twist into an unkind smirk. ‘Not that you’d know anything about that. Where did you find that hideous nightdress, Elphaba? At an outlet for the fashionably inept?’
‘I don’t actually recall asking why you spend a lifetime in the bathroom,’ Elphaba said, her eyebrow twitching in annoyance.
‘Then why are you staring at me? Dazzled, are we?’ For good measure, she went to toss her hair, but had clearly forgotten it was bundled up in her towel. She froze, frowned, and her cheeks flushed a little. Elphaba did her best to stop herself from laughing, considering the dangerous territory she was about to brave.
‘I wanted to ask you about this,’ she said, taking the hankie from behind her back. Galinda really did freeze, then. Elphaba watched with growing trepidation as the pink blush steadily spread all over her face, brightening the tips of her ears and her nose.
‘It’s fine,’ Elphaba added quickly as Galinda’s shoulders stiffened, creeping up to her ears. ‘I mean - it doesn’t matter. I was just…I was wondering if you were, you know, okay?’
Galinda seemed to take a moment to process what was happening, her eyes wide. The bottle she was holding had started to shake a little. Oh, great, Elphaba thought. I’m making a real pig’s ear of this.
‘...You sounded really upset,’ she continued, wishing she’d planned the conversion ahead of time. ‘And I - I was worried it was because of what I said in the seminar. About you watching me while I changed.’
Galinda went so pink that she matched her robe. ‘I - I didn’t - I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ She said it in a rush, as if the words were being sucked out of her in one hurried breath. Elphaba arched an eyebrow.
‘No? So it wasn’t you in the bathroom, then? It wasn’t your pink nails I saw when I gave you the hankie, and it,’ - she waved the green scrap sarcastically in the air - ‘just happened to appear in your laundry hamper? I wasn’t born yesterday, Galinda.’
‘Why do you even care ?’ Galinda snarled, her voice trembling.
‘Because if I upset you, I want to apologise for it.’
Galinda’s mouth fell open. ‘W-What?’
Elphaba lowered the hankie. ‘...Look, I know we have our differences and we have the odd disagreement, but Oz, Galinda, I don’t want to make you cry .’
‘You didn’t.’
‘If you’re trying to pretend that wasn’t you in the bathroom, then -’
‘ - No,’ Galinda interrupted quickly, putting the bottle she was holding back on the vanity with a dull thunk . ‘I - you didn’t upset me. I was…’ she trailed off, her face twisted as if she was in pain. ‘...Practicing.’
‘Practicing?’ spluttered Elphaba, at a loss. ‘What do you mean, practicing ?’
‘For the amateur dramatics society that I intend to join,’ Galinda said, without missing a beat. ‘Shiz University has a very well-established reputation in that field - not that you’d know, since you just stumbled onto campus like some lost runt of the litter.’
‘Galinda, you are aware that I’m not braindead, right?’
‘Huh?’
Elphaba nearly slapped her own forehead in vexation. ‘You weren’t practicing fake crying for the bloody Dramatics Society, for goodness sake! And Oz, even if you were, why would you do it in the public bathrooms? I know you hate them.’
‘I - why would you - have you been stalking me?’ Galinda stammered.
‘Don’t be ridiculous. Anyone with eyes can see that you scurry off between classes. And, though it frequently seems to escape your notice, I do live here. I notice when you dash back and forth.’
‘Ew. Your obsession with me really knows no bounds.’
‘Oh, for goodness sake,’ Elphaba hissed, balling the hankie in her fist and cringing a little when she felt it squelch. ‘I was just trying to make sure you were alright, but I suppose I won’t bother in future. A word of advice, though…’ She marched forward and dropped the hankie on Galinda’s vanity. ‘You might want to work on choking back your sobs a little. You were being dreadfully loud.’
Galinda blinked at the handkerchief. Her lips were pressed in a thin line.
‘I meant it when I said you can keep that,’ Elphaba muttered, pointing at it with a sharp jab in the air. ‘Seems like you need it more than I do.’
‘I’m going to burn it, thank you very much,’ Galinda spat. ‘I don’t use things without a very high threadcount.’
‘Oz, you really are an ungrateful snob, aren’t you?’ Elphaba said. ‘For a moment, I was fooled into thinking you were actually human , but I won’t make that mistake again.’
‘ Me ?’ Galinda snorted, getting to her feet. ‘ I’m not human? Have you looked in a mirror lately, Elphaba? In case it escaped your notice, you’re literally green !’
‘And that makes me - what - subhuman?’
‘It certainly makes you something , yes,’ Galinda snarled. ‘Repulsive. Peculiar. Malformed.’
Elphaba felt her face grow hot with anger, magic bubbling just under the surface of her skin. She clenched her fists, trying to hold it back. ‘Don’t call me that. Just because I look a little different, it - it doesn’t mean I’m malformed .’
Galinda smirked, realising she’d hit a nerve. ‘No? What does it make you then, Miss Elphaba? Because in my eyes, your grotesque appearance is something that desperately needs to be fixed. Won’t you think of other people for a change, and how unpleasant it is for us to have to look at you?’
Elphaba’s nails dug into her palms, and she expelled a shaky breath. ‘If I’m such a horror, why are you constantly staring at me? Don’t think I can’t feel your eyes on me.’
‘Don’t flatter yourself,’ Galinda drawled, leaning back on her vanity. ‘The only reason you’ll catch me looking at you is because I’m trying to ascertain who let you outside. The decent thing would be to lock you up and throw away the key.’
Before she even realised she had done it, Elphaba’s control snapped like a fishing wire. She had heard those words so many times before - from the cruel children back in Munchkinland, jeering at her as they chased her through the poppy fields; from the political advisers that swarmed her father’s estate, telling him to keep that girl out of sight, lest she ruin the chances of re-election ; and even from her father herself, who would sneer when he looked at her, wondering how she could’ve come from him . She should’ve gotten used to it by now. But it hurt every single time.
Magic burst out of her in a whip of frustration and caught several of the bottles Galinda kept on her vanity - perfumes and creams and serums - and sent them flying. They smashed against the floor in spectacular fashion, scattering bits of glass and liquid, and Elphaba let out a strangled gasp. She closed her eyes, willing herself to hold back , her whole body taut and tense, and the magic vanished as quickly as it appeared. Panting, she pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead, heat burning behind her eyes, hands shaking.
‘... Shit ,’ she whispered, more to herself than to Galinda. She thought, given the handful of classes she’d had under Morrible, she might’ve started to gain some semblance of control. But Galinda, it seemed, knew just which buttons to press. Swallowing, Elphaba brought her gaze up to Galinda, opening her mouth to apologise, but immediately noticed something was amiss.
‘I - Galinda, are you okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean -’ Elphaba cut herself off, staring as the girl in front of her started to crumble.
Galinda was shaking, her hands clasped over her ears, and her eyes seemed to be locked onto something very far away. Elphaba glanced over her shoulder, as if expecting to see a blood thirsty creature on the approach given Galinda’s expression, but there was nothing. She turned back, wide-eyed, and watched in horror as Galinda let out a tight, whimpering gasp.
‘Oz, Galinda, I’m really sorry,’ Elphaba said quickly, not knowing what to do. ‘I wasn’t going to hurt you. I just - sometimes I lose my cool and things go flying. I didn’t mean to. I promise.’
But Galinda wasn’t listening. Her breaths were coming shorter and faster, her chest rising and falling so quickly that Elphaba could hardly keep up, and small, panicked wheezes spluttered from her lips. Elphaba stared at her. She sounded like she couldn’t breathe.
‘...Um, should I - should I get someone?’ she whispered, totally at a loss. The frantic shake of her blonde head seemed to suggest no, that was a terrible idea. ‘Okay, okay. I - can you try and breathe for me, Galinda? Just - you sound like you can’t and it’s starting to freak me out.’
Galinda let out a tiny sob, her eyes filling with tears. She dropped her hands from her ears and buried her face in them instead. Great. This isn’t going well at all, Elphaba gulped, feeling a nasty combination of guilt and worry.
‘It’s okay,’ she said, edging closer. Tentatively, as if was dealing with a wild animal, she put a hand on Galinda’s shoulder. The girl flinched at the touch but didn’t move away, which Elphaba took as a positive. ‘Can you look at me? Please.’
With considerable effort, Galinda lifted her head from her hands, but didn’t look at her. ‘G-Go away .’
‘What?’
‘ Go away! ’ Galinda shouted, her voice hoarse and thick with tears. Elphaba started backwards in shock. She’d never heard Galinda raise her voice like that, even when they’d been arguing all day. Her lips parted. Galinda clutched at the front of her robe, struggling through a breath, squeezing her eyes shut.
Now, Elphaba knew the path of least resistance would be to leave Galinda to whatever the heck she was dealing with, and retreat to the sanctuary of the bathroom - or better yet, the library. But as she watched the girl trembling against the vanity, unable to breathe properly and looking genuinely terrified, she realised she couldn’t. Just as in the lavatory earlier, her good heart struck again. And she stayed.
‘I’m not going anywhere while you’re so upset,’ she said firmly. She put both of her hands on Galinda’s shoulders. ‘Look at me.’
‘Elphaba, will you just - just go ,’ Galinda choked out, her head bowed.
‘ Look at me .’
Galinda did as she was told, lower lip trembling. Her eyes were red and wet.
‘Good,’ Elphaba said softly. ‘Now, I want you to try and follow my breathing with me, okay? It’ll help you feel better.’
With a whimper, Galinda nodded. Elphaba gave her a small smile and breathed in slowly through her nostrils for five seconds, and out for another five. Galinda followed along as best she could, but a breath got stuck in her throat, and spluttered, her eyes widening.
‘I - I c-can’t, I can’t -’
‘- You can,’ soothed Elphaba. ‘It’s alright.’
‘N-no, it’s not like last time, I - I actually can’t breathe, I can’t breathe -’
Elphaba then did something she’d never done before. She dropped her hands from Galinda’s shoulders, and instead laced their fingers together. Galinda froze, staring down at her lap, at the green, and she let out a shuddering, retching breath. It sounded almost painful.
‘Keep breathing with me,’ Elphaba encouraged, rubbing small circles over the backs of Galinda’s hands with her thumbs. ‘Slow, steady, and calm.’
In a way, breathing along with Galinda was also calming Elphaba down. While she did her best not to show it, she could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She was aware that her palms were slick with sweat, but Galinda’s were, too, so she hoped the girl wouldn’t notice.
‘You’re doing perfectly,’ she murmured, watching as Galinda’s breathing started to settle. Her body spasmed now and again with residual sobs, shoulders flinching and hands squeezing, and each time she did, Elphaba felt worse . She didn’t mean to frighten her. Was she actually afraid of her?
Biting her lip, Elphaba looked around at the mess of glass. That was the second time she’d manage to break something in the suite - the first being the balcony window. She frowned. Come to think of it, Galinda acted weirdly after that, too. She really must be freaked out by my magic . But of course, there was the incident today , when she had been crying for some undisclosed reason after Dillamond’s class, which was what had started the current altercation in the first place. What is with her?
Elphaba glanced up when Galinda withdrew her hands to wipe at her eyes, her breath stuttering. She seemed to have calmed down.
‘... Sorry .’
She said it so quietly, Elphaba thought she might’ve imagined it. She swallowed, realising it was the first time she’d heard the girl actually say that. Oddly enough, it didn’t feel particularly good to hear it.
‘I’m the one who should be apologising,’ replied Elphaba, as Galinda wrung her hands together, not looking at her. ‘I’ll - I’ll replace everything I broke, of course, though you’ll have to tell me what exactly they are. And…’ she let out a long sigh, wishing Galinda would stop shaking so much. ‘...I’m sorry for scaring you. Really. I’d never want to make you feel that way.’
Galinda let out a small gasp, eyes snapping up. Her eyelashes were stuck together with stray tears. ‘Oh, Elphaba - you didn’t.’
‘Then why…?’
‘It’s -’ Galinda seemed to struggle with herself for a moment. ‘ - Oz, it doesn’t matter. I just, um, wasn’t expecting it. But you didn’t scare me. Please don’t carry that around with you.’
Elphaba didn’t believe her. Why else would she react like that? ‘...Okay. I - I’ll go and fetch a broom to clear up all the glass. That’s the second time today.’
‘What?’
‘After Dillamond’s class,’ Elphaba said, moving away from the vanity, ‘I stayed behind and helped him clear up the broken vase. That’s how this happened.’ She held up her bandaged finger with a bashful smile.
‘R-Right,’ Galinda mumbled. She had drawn her arms around herself and was squeezing her midriff as if in an embrace. ‘Um…Well, that was nice of you, I guess.’
‘Contrary to popular belief, I am pretty nice.’
‘Yes. Er - thanks. For the hankie. And for…for staying.’ She said the last part with obvious difficulty, her face turning pink. Elphaba quickly realised she was feeling embarrassed.
‘It’s okay, honestly,’ she said, waving a hand in the air. ‘Now, I’ll go and fetch that broom. Be careful if you’re going to be moving around, alright? There are bits of glass everywhere.’
‘Okay, yes. Right.’
With another awkward look at the tearful blonde, Elphaba spun on her heels and hastened from the suite. She wanted to give Galinda a moment alone to collect herself, and went to hunt for a broom.
*
Later, as the girls lay in silence, Galinda couldn’t sleep . And it wasn’t just because of her confusing cocktail of thoughts that seemed to pool and whirl around Elphaba - well, it was , but it was for a different reason this time around. Biting her lip, Galinda drummed her fingers against her hand, arms folded above the duvet, eyes open in the darkness.
Elphaba had been genuinely worried that she’d scared her, and Galinda, much to her frustration, could not stop thinking about it. She let out a large sigh, not caring how loud she was being - she knew her roommate was stewing the shadows, too, since she kept tossing and turning. Galinda, as much as she refused to admit it to herself, didn’t want Elphaba to worry. She didn’t want her to feel the need to walk on eggshells around her, as if concerned she might startle her. She didn’t want her to think she was…fragile. Closing her eyes, Galinda felt her face redden. She couldn’t believe she’d let herself lose control like that. Twice in one day, no less. It was indeed just a string of unfortunate circumstances, but still, the embarrassment of it all made her body burn. She wasn’t supposed to slip up in such a manner. Not anymore. That was what she’d promised herself when she came to Shiz.
Galinda’s mother, Larena, referred to the wretched episodes as ‘meltdowns’. Galinda hated the word, but she didn’t know what else to call them. They made her eyesight blur, her palms sweat, her chest tighten, and her mind freeze up. And despite her best efforts, she often couldn’t help it when something wrong happened. It wasn’t as if she did it on purpose. She didn’t want to get so worked up - and her parents certainly didn’t want her to, either. They would hiss at her to stop it , and when she couldn’t, their voices would raise and bounce off the walls until she could do nothing but wheeze and cower, waiting for the panic to work its way out of her system, often alone. Her parents didn’t care to see her in such a state, and she quickly learnt that it was shameful and unbecoming to panic in such a visceral way. So, she would find somewhere to shut herself away, letting it shatter through her system until she had the wherewithal to actually suck a breath into her lungs.
She knew what caused them, by now. It wasn’t as if they simply appeared one day. And it wasn’t as if she thought it was normal , but who could she even talk about it with? Shenshen and Pfannee were her friends, that much was true, but it was surface level at best. Besides, surely she’d just be laughed out of the room if she tried to explain that she couldn’t handle it when - she shook her head against the pillows, gritting her teeth together. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Rolling over onto her side, Galinda bundled her duvet to her chest and cuddled it. She missed home, sometimes. It had only been a week, but she thought she would’ve scrubbed out the childish yearning for her bed, her blankets, the sounds of the manor settling down for sleep. She wondered if Elphaba missed home, too. We’re just two girls, really, away from our families for the first time. The nasty wiggle of guilt she’d been feeling lately reared its ugly head again as she thought about how cruel she had been earlier. She’d said some horrible things. She’d made Elphaba lose her temper - and Elphaba ended up being the one to feel terrible about it. She does need to get a handle on her magic, but really, she had no reason to stay with me after everything I said…
Galinda didn’t really know what provoked her to do it - sleep deprivation, guilt, a desperation to make sure Elphaba didn’t feel responsible for what happened, or a combination of all three - but before she knew what she was doing, she cleared her throat in the darkness. It was easier, in a way, to speak when Elphaba couldn’t actually see her.
‘Um…Are you still awake?’ she said. Her voice sounded too loud in the quiet of the night.
‘Yes,’ came Elphaba’s voice. ‘Are you okay?’
Galinda nodded, but then realised Elphaba couldn’t see her. ‘Er, yeah. I’m fine. I just…can’t sleep.’
‘You and me both.’
There was a strained silence as Galinda toyed with what she wanted to say. ‘I…I was thinking about earlier. I just wanted to - to make sure that you were okay, Elphaba. We didn’t really speak after you came back, and I -’ she cut herself off, worried she was rambling. Her mother always told her off for ‘babbling’, as she called it.
‘Why wouldn’t I be okay?’ said Elphaba, sounding genuinely confused. ‘I’m not the one who…’
‘Because I really don’t want you thinking that you scared me, okay?’
There was a long pause. Galinda snuggled the duvet against her even more, squeezing her eyes shut. Oz, say something, you horrid green thing!
‘Then what did scare you, Galinda?’
Anything but that . ‘Um…It’s not - it isn’t important. I just - I know I tease you about being a bit of a freak or whatever, but I don’t - er - I’m not afraid of you. And I’d really hate it if you thought I was.’
‘Right,’ muttered Elphaba. ‘And why is that? Because you’re worried I’ll think you a coward?’
‘No, because I’m worried you’ll think of yourself as someone to be feared.’
‘...What?’ Elphaba’s voice was so quiet that Galinda’s ears strained to hear her. She fiddled with the frilled hem of her duvet.
‘I suppose that it would be a terribly burdensome thing,’ said Galinda softly, ‘to believe others are frightened of you. Especially when you’re…evidently quite kind.’ The quiet stretched on. ‘...Um, Elphaba? Are you still there?’
‘I’m still here.’
‘Did you hear what I said?’
‘Yeah. Just…thinking about it, I guess.’
‘Right.’
They lie in silence for what felt like a lifetime for Galinda, until Elphaba started to talk. Really talk.
‘I do appreciate you saying that, Galinda,’ she murmured. ‘You’ve no idea how many times I’ve been called…well, a monster . You get told that just once, and it sticks. Not to mention how many people recoil when they see me, or Oz forbid if I try to touch them.’ Galinda heard her swallow thickly. ‘I remember when I…When I was little, a balloon maker visited my hometown. All the kids were so excited - me included - and he made balloon animals for everyone who had gathered to watch him. He even gave me one, which was a surprise. I was so happy. I didn’t - er - I didn’t often get gifts.’ She paused, sniffing, and Galinda’s chest tightened. ‘A-Anyway, I wanted to show him how pleased I was, so I tried to hug him, and…’ she trailed off, and Galinda filled in the blanks. ‘Let’s just say I ended up in the dirt. I was a child, and a fully grown man thought I - I was some sort of beast. He looked scared of me. And earlier, when you started to panic so much, I just thought that I’d…that I’d frightened you.’
Galinda pressed her lips together, unable to bear the image of a tiny Elphaba being shoved aside when she just wanted a hug . ‘...Elphaba, I promise you, it wasn’t. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. Oz, you wouldn’t hurt a fly, as far as I can tell. Not many people would offer a hankie to a stranger in the bathroom, or stay behind and help a teacher clean up a broken vase.’
Elphaba chuckled quietly. ‘I suppose that’s true. And if you don’t mind me asking…What had you so upset?’
Galinda swallowed. ‘Which time?’
‘Both, I suppose.’
‘Um…You’ll think it’s stupid,’ she mumbled, burying her face into her duvet.
‘If it upsets you, it’s not stupid.’
Galinda’s breath caught in her throat. No one had said that to her before. She was brought up to believe her tears were foolish, histrionic, improper . She thought about all the times she’d curled up in her bed and cried all night, stuffing her mouth with her blanket so no one would hear her. The nights at boarding school where the other girls in her dorm thought there was a ghost - nicknamed The Whimpering Lady - because she had to hold everything back until she got to her room. Her mother’s raised voice. Her father’s short fuse. And the -
‘ - It’s the glass,’ she whispered, almost without meaning to say it at all.
‘What do you mean?’
‘The glass, it’s - the sound of it breaking.’
She heard Elphaba suck in a breath and pictured the lightbulb flickering above her head. ‘So…that first day, when I broke the balcony window and you clammed up…’
‘Yes.’
‘And today, when Dr Dillamond broke his vase? You got upset and went to the bathroom?’
‘Yes.’
‘And this evening -’
‘Oz, yes , Elphaba, how many times do I have to say it?’ Galinda hissed, a flash of shame making her ears burn.
‘Right, sorry. Sorry.’ She heard Elphaba gulp. ‘Um…Can I ask why?’
Galinda nearly told her to mind her own business, but she caught herself at the last moment. Elphaba had been kind. She’d stayed with her. She’d calmed her down. No one had done that for her since she was a very young child, when tears and meltdowns were acceptable. She swallowed down her fear.
‘It’s…Popsicle.’
‘Popsicle?’
‘My father,’ Galinda mumbled. ‘And before you get the wrong idea, he’s truly wonderful and caring and kind, but he - he can get a bit stressed sometimes. His way of dealing with that is to…Well, he smashes stuff. If you catch him at the wrong time, he’ll - he’ll throw things. Not at anyone, of course, just…in the general vicinity.’
‘Oh.’
‘Yeah.’ Galinda paused, gathering herself as she felt her eyes growing hot. ‘I suppose I just - well, that’s what scares me, Elphaba. A-And when I hear it happening, I feel like I’m stuck in his office, watching him break the crystalwear, wondering if one of the champagne flutes is going to stray off course and -’ she stopped herself from talking. She didn’t want to think about that. Objectively, she knew her father never hurt her, but watching him turn puce and having to stand there as he yelled and raged and smashed frightened her more than she ever let on. She didn’t even realise it had become an issue until one of their dinner guests dropped his wine glass when she was ten - her first ‘grown-up’ function, when was allowed to stay up late and sample the canapés - and she had to banish herself to her room as a deep panic grabbed hold of her senses. And she tried . She tried to tell her mind that she wasn’t in any danger, that she never was, because her father loved her, because he would lift her up and spin her around in his arms, because he would buy her lavish gifts from his business trips, because he would kiss her forehead and call her his pumpkin . She didn’t need to be scared.
But she couldn’t help it.
‘Um…You realise that isn’t okay, right?’
Galinda blinked in the darkness. ‘Huh?’
‘To grow up and witness that sort of behaviour isn’t okay, Galinda,’ Elphaba said. Her voice was firm and resolute. ‘I’m sorry that happened. It’s no wonder you get scared.’
‘Don’t patronise me,’ Galinda spat.
‘I’m not,’ said Elphaba patiently. ‘I really mean it.’
‘...Really?’
‘Oz, Galinda, of course. Breaking glass makes anyone jump, you know, let alone when you associate it with such anger. I…I’ll make sure not to lose control and break anything else, okay?’
Galinda's eyes grew hotter still. ‘...You don’t have to -’
‘ - Of course I do. Of course I do.’
Her words settled in the darkness of the room, and Galinda felt her throat constrict. She didn’t quite know what she’d been expecting - laughter, scorn, disbelief, being told she was dramatic or silly for getting so worked up - but Elphaba, once again, had surprised her. She’d met her fear with kindness and understanding. Galinda hadn’t seen that coming.
‘Um…thank you, Elphaba,’ she mumbled.
‘You don’t need to thank me. But I’m glad you told me,’ came Elphaba’s voice.
‘Me too. I think.’
‘Good.’
‘...Yeah, good.’
It was awkward. It was strained. Galinda’s face burned, and Elphaba’s voice wavered. But it was a start.