Chapter Text
Bloom paused outside the sleek storefront of "Elemental Harmony Matchmaking," its holographic sign pulsing with promises of "100% Accuracy Guaranteed!" in shimmering letters that seemed to mock her with their confidence.
She pulled her phone from her jacket pocket, squinting at the message thread she'd been ignoring for the past three days. Stella's enthusiasm practically radiated through the screen: “You HAVE to try it, Bloom! Flora met her boyfriend through them, and they're disgustingly perfect together. Plus, think of the blog content! 'Fairy of the Dragon Flame Takes on Love Algorithm' – it'll be hilarious!"
Bloom rolled her eyes, but she had to admit Stella had a point about the content potential. Her lifestyle blog had been feeling stale lately, recycling the same "student life at Alfea" material over and over. A takedown of some ridiculous matchmaking service claiming to use "proprietary elemental analysis" could be exactly what she needed.
The bell above the door chimed with an oddly melodic tone as she stepped inside. The interior was all smooth curves and soft lighting, designed to feel organic despite its obvious technological sophistication. Potted plants lined the walls – she recognized fire lilies, frost ferns, and what looked like miniature storm clouds contained in glass globes.
"Welcome to Elemental Harmony!" The receptionist's voice carried the practiced warmth of someone who'd given this greeting thousands of times. "Are you here for a compatibility assessment?"
"Just curious about the process," Bloom said, approaching the curved reception desk. "I'm a blogger, doing a piece on modern matchmaking trends."
The young woman – a specialist, judging by the subtle shimmer around her fingertips – brightened considerably. "Oh, how exciting! We love sharing our methodology. The science is absolutely fascinating." She gestured toward a comfortable seating area. "Would you like me to explain how it works?"
Bloom settled into a chair that seemed to adjust its temperature automatically to something perfectly comfortable. "Please."
"Well, the foundation is elemental resonance theory," the receptionist began, her enthusiasm genuine. "Every person has a unique elemental signature – not just their primary magical specialty, but subtle harmonics across all elements. Most people assume opposites attract, but it's actually much more complex."
She pulled up a holographic display showing swirling patterns of energy in different colors. "Fire and ice might seem incompatible, but certain fire signatures actually create perfect thermal equilibrium with specific ice patterns. It's all about complementary frequencies rather than similar ones."
Bloom found herself genuinely interested despite her skepticism. "And you can measure all this?"
"Our scanners are incredibly sophisticated. The assessment takes about twenty minutes – completely painless, just requires you to channel your magic in specific ways while our sensors record the resonance patterns." The receptionist leaned forward conspiratorially. "We've had a 100% success rate for three years running. Every match we've made is still together."
"That's... impressive," Bloom admitted, though her journalist instincts were already poking holes in the claim. Small sample size, selection bias, defining 'success' broadly – there were dozens of ways to massage statistics like that.
"Would you like to try it? For research purposes, of course. We offer a complimentary trial assessment, and you're under no obligation to pursue any matches we find."
Bloom hesitated. It would be dishonest to take the test under false pretenses, but then again, she _was_ technically researching modern matchmaking. And the results would be perfect material for debunking their claims.
"Sure," she heard herself saying. "For research."
Twenty minutes later, she emerged from the scanning chamber feeling slightly disoriented. The process had been more intense than expected – not painful, but oddly invasive, as if something had been cataloging every flicker of flame within her magical core.
"Results will be available within 24 hours," the receptionist said, handing her a sleek card with a QR code. "You'll receive a notification when your analysis is complete."
Bloom pocketed the card and stepped back onto the busy street, already mentally composing her exposé. She'd wait for whatever ridiculous match they proposed, document the obvious incompatibility, and write a piece about the dangers of reducing love to algorithms.
---
Icy sat in her private study, surrounded by floating screens displaying market analysis, magical theory texts, and the latest gossip from Cloud Tower's alumni network. She prided herself on staying informed about every ridiculous trend that swept through Magix's social scene.
Which was why Darcy's casual mention of Elemental Harmony Matchmaking had immediately caught her attention.
"It's completely absurd," Darcy had said during their weekly update call. "They're claiming they can predict romantic compatibility through magical resonance patterns. Stormy tried it as a joke and they matched her with some earth specialist who grows healing herbs. She's pretending to date him just to see how long she can keep up the act."
Icy had filed the information away, planning to ignore it entirely. But over the past few days, she'd found herself increasingly irritated by the company's advertising campaign. Their holographic billboards were everywhere, proclaiming their perfect success rate with insufferable confidence.
She despised false claims dressed up as science almost as much as she despised the kind of people who fell for them.
Standing abruptly, she grabbed her coat and headed for the door. If she was going to write a scathing review of their methods for her consulting firm's newsletter, she needed firsthand experience with their process.
The journey to their offices gave her time to plan her approach. She'd present herself as a potential investor, claim she was evaluating the viability of their business model. That would give her access to more detailed information about their methodology while maintaining professional distance.
The storefront was exactly as pretentious as she'd expected – all smooth surfaces and strategic lighting designed to create an atmosphere of technological sophistication. She pushed through the door with the practiced confidence of someone accustomed to owning every room she entered.
"Good afternoon," she said to the receptionist, her tone crisp and professional. "I'm interested in learning more about your assessment process. For investment purposes."
The young woman's eyes widened slightly – whether from recognition or intimidation, Icy couldn't tell. "Of course! I'd be happy to explain our methodology. Are you familiar with elemental resonance theory?"
Icy listened to the explanation with growing skepticism. The science sounded plausible enough on the surface, but she caught several logical inconsistencies and what seemed like deliberately vague terminology designed to sound impressive without conveying actual information.
"Interesting," she said when the presentation concluded. "And you're confident in your success rate?"
"Absolutely. We've never had a match that didn't result in a meaningful connection."
"I see. And how exactly do you define 'meaningful connection'?"
The receptionist's pause was barely perceptible, but Icy caught it. "Well, compatibility takes many forms. Not every match leads to marriage, of course, but our clients consistently report that their matches help them understand themselves and their relationship patterns better."
Convenient qualification,Icy thought. Cast a wide enough net and you can claim any outcome as success.
"Would it be possible to experience the assessment process myself? For evaluation purposes."
"Absolutely! We offer complimentary trial assessments for potential investors."
Icy found herself in a scanning chamber that looked like something from a high-end medical facility, all gleaming surfaces and sophisticated equipment. The assessment itself was more invasive than she'd expected – not physically, but the way the scanners seemed to probe the deepest layers of her magical core left her feeling exposed.
When it was over, she emerged with a business card and a promise that results would be available within 24 hours. She also had a mental list of at least a dozen questionable claims she could challenge in her review.
Walking back toward her car, she allowed herself a small smile of satisfaction. This was going to be an entertaining takedown.