Chapter Text
Winter was always cold around this time of year. Every inch of the earthly landscape was covered in blankets of snow. Pure white and fresh from the recent storm. The muted sound in the air reflected its stillness, save for the whispers of the gentle winds and the crunch of the snowy ground beneath their feet. Perfect ambiance for their usually quiet travels, not that Yukina minded. At least the scenery was always beautiful to drink it in and savor its natural tastes like a nice, refreshing glass of cold water straight from a mountain spring.
Speaking of cold water, Yukina desperately needed some. Not in a sense that she was parched, but rather her body was catching fire. She would assume it was due to the layer of clothes she wore for the freezing weather, a hanten over her kimono and undivided hakama, and cloths wrapped around her neck and hands for added warmth as she carried her furoshiki bundle on a wooden stick over her shoulder. No, it wasn’t that. The metaphorical coils heating up beneath her stomach like a stalking predator slowly inching its way closer to its meal told a different story. Solely driven by the swirling thoughts in her mind that were sinful enough to put any shunga to shame. The center of those thoughts happened to be the man strolling beside her.
No, no. She shouldn’t be thinking like that and caved to the beast. It wasn’t the place nor the time for any of that. Her body was simply falling under the weather, she told herself that. Nothing more, nothing less. Mentally shaking her head, she focused her gaze on the winter wonderland, hoping that the scenery would inspire her body to become one with it. Cold, relaxed, and free from these earthly desires. It worked—the barren landscape brought a sense of tranquility upon her. The snow lay perfectly flat on the ground like a soft white blanket, providing warmth to the cold earth below. No creases or stains were found anywhere on this blanket. Absolutely silky and smooth. Almost like the locks of hair cascading elegantly down his face and shoulder.
“Is something on your mind?” The velvety tone of her companion’s words lured her out of her thoughts, the corner of his yellow eye meeting hers as he continued to walk beside her. She didn’t even realize that her eyes drifted back to his face, and the way his painted lips slightly curled up, matching his amused eyes, told her that she was staring for far too long.
“No.” She turned her head away to face forward along the path, trying to cool her flustered expression. If only her body were as icy as the snow around them. “Nothing at all.”
The Medicine Seller, the only name he had introduced himself with when they first met, let out a soft hum. “Is that so? I can’t help but wonder, especially when you’ve been staring at me for the past few days.”
Oh, no, was she really staring at him that much without noticing? Well, she did just now, but she didn’t think it was that obvious. Perhaps he was messing with her, throwing her another one of his light-hearted teases like he always does. One of which she would either dismiss it or outright return one of her own to gain the upper hand. However, she couldn’t do either of those things when, in the corner of her eyes, she caught his eyelid lowering, whereas the corner of his lips continued to move up like he held a secret only he knew. If he added one more tease, it would surely send her heart over the moon. She couldn’t have that happen.
As if the gods witnessed her suffering, the sight of a small town came into view as they made their final descent on the mountain. Large fields of frozen farmland surrounded the secluded town. Tiny dots of the buildings were centralized in the midst of it, offering a nice change of scenery compared to their travel over the mountain range.
“Oh, look.” She nodded towards the town in hopes that it would change the subject. “There it is.” There was where they would stay until tomorrow morning, and judging by the sun almost kissing the horizon, they had less than an hour before darkness claimed the land.
Her companion hummed in agreement. “Ah, perfect timing.”
They made it to the inn just when the sun finally set. It was located near the entrance of the town and had a lantern sign out in the front, large and bright enough to signal its purpose to common travelers like them. Inside, the inn was as small as the town it resided in, but it provided some warmth and coziness from the harsh elements outside, not that Yukina needed it in her condition.
“A room for my wife and I for tonight, please,” the Medicine Seller said to the innkeeper by the reception desk as he retrieved the coins from the sleeve of his kimono.
Those words of his were far from the truth, a cover-up to reduce suspicion for a woman traveling alone with a male companion whom she had just met a few months ago. Normally, she wouldn’t mind. The fake alias of their relationship was far better than where she once came from. Plus, one room was cheaper than two for the small change of coins they had. But hearing those words roll off his tongue so naturally, almost akin to a purr of some sort, made her heart flip a little this time. She believed it for a second.
The innkeeper’s gaze flickered back and forth between her and her traveling companion a couple of times, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he was trying to comprehend how they were really husband and wife. She didn’t blame the innkeeper for his odd stares. Compared to the Medicine Seller, she was dressed more plainly except for the soft shades of orange she often wore. Still, the man next to her wore every color of the rainbow, sticking out a sore thumb in the crowd, and more.
Their cover-up worked—the innkeeper grunted and begrudgingly accepted the coins from his hand. She didn’t miss the weird look the innkeeper flashed at his long black nails, and for some reason, it secretly struck a nerve inside her. The beast inside her wanted to come out and defend his honor. But the beast stayed put, especially when the Medicine Seller didn’t react as such, most likely used to people giving him the look. Instead, his face remained passive, even slightly smirking at the innkeeper at how his upper lip was painted in a way that made him appear to smile all the time.
“Room’s in the far back, down the hall, and at the last door to the right.” The innkeeper jabbed a thumb down the hall where they would go. Whatever got him in a sour mood, Yukina wasn’t sure, but she had one question to ask.
“Is the bath still open?” She wanted nothing more than to get out of these clothes and cool off her body. The hadajuban she wore underneath started to feel like a second skin with all the sweat that accumulated from the walk and her abnormal condition.
Another sour grunt escaped the innkeeper’s throat. “Yes, but it will close soon. If I were you, I would go right now. The bath is located at the end of this hall. Toilet is beyond that and outside. You can’t miss it.” He nodded at another hallway in the other direction before turning back to them and asking, “Need anything else?”
Yukina could feel the Medicine Seller’s eyes on her when he asked that question, presumably waiting for her to give the final say. She knew why—the Medicine Seller had yet asked for any amenities for himself other than a room for the night so far on their journey together, at least, never in front of her, she thought.
“No, that is all, thank you,” she replied, bowing at the waist. In her peripheral view, she saw her companion doing the small.
The innkeeper grunted again, signaling their time to leave. After removing their shoes and placing them neatly by the entryway, the two of them headed down the hallway to their designated room. The whole place was dimly lit, with the only light source coming from outside through the paper screens and panels. A couple of lanterns were set on the floor along the wall, ready to take over as beacons of light when darkness fell completely.
Only a few strides were needed to reach the end of the hallway. The Medicine Seller opened the sliding door and allowed her to step into their temporary room first. Small yet functional for their stay. In the corner by the door was a low table with a couple of cushions next to it for dining and writing activities. The storage area was in the corner across from the door, with a cabinet and chest lined against the wall, and a wash line spanning across the ceiling as a rack. Adjacent to that corner was a large empty area where the rolled-up futon in the storage cabinet would go for the night. A lantern and portable hearth were also there for later use, even though Yukina doubted she needed the latter.
As she approached the storage area, she heard the familiar soft thud of the Medicine Seller setting his large wooden box on the ground from behind, followed by his smooth voice, “Why don’t you go ahead to the bath while I prepare the bed?”
The mention of a bed sparked something inside her, but she quickly pushed that thought aside in favor of setting her furoshiki bundle down to unravel it.
“Sure,” she tried to keep her voice level, hoping that he wouldn’t sense her inner turmoil. Normally, she would have prepared the bed herself or at least helped him. However, she desperately needed that shower to drown the fire that was starting to ignite inside her. One minute longer in here, especially with him, and she surely would burst into flames. Besides, the bed should keep his observant eyes busy for the time being.
Yukina had to force herself to continue breathing when the Medicine Seller stepped around to grab the rolled-up futon. His body was so close that she could feel the heat radiating from him. It was only when he moved away to the adjacent corner that she finally exhaled through her nose.
She had to get herself together.
After mentally shaking her head for the second time of the day, Yukina shifted focus and began to undress her outer layers, hanging her hanten, hakama, kimono, nagajuban, leggings, tabi socks, gloves, and wrapping cloths on the washing line to dry overnight, especially her socks, which were drenched from the snow.
“Seems like you wore a bit too many layers on this trip,” he mused as he stepped around her to grab the blanket and comforter next. The playful edge in his voice gave her the indication that his sneaky gaze took the time to roam her body, no doubt noticing how the normally silky fabric of her hadajuban clung to her skin like glue.
Yukina looked down with a straight face as she kneeled in front of her unraveled bundle. She didn’t need to see the tiny smirk on his lips that usually accompanied his tease. “Yeah. Nothing but a nice shower will help.” A really cold one at best.
The Medicine Seller said nothing in return and moved back over to the futon. Meanwhile, Yukina took a vow to ignore the man next to her and focus on gathering her things—a bag of rice bran, her toothbrush, and underwear. The rest of her things, such as her yukata and a fresh pair of hadajuban, were stashed inside the Medicine Seller’s large box along with his personal items. He had space for her in the middle drawers until she could purchase a much larger travel bag herself. Of course, not as large as his. She didn’t know how he could carry such a heavy load on his back the whole day without breaking a sweat. He did once tell her that the weight wasn’t an issue for him, but she was sure that he had a medicine for his back pains—he just had to!
Despite her little vow, her eyes slowly drifted back to him like her mind, watching him set up the comforter with ease. He moved with such elegance and grace. The sleeves of his kimono moved swiftly along with every movement he made, unrolling the blanket and smoothing out every crease as if perfection was all his fingers were known to do. Such a sight reminded her of those bright, colorful birds dancing and trying to woo their potential mate on the tree branches outside her old residence. And once they finally mate, then the male bird would help build the perfect little nest for their future hatchlings. Not that he was a bird, she thought, but the resemblance was there, and she happened to be the ladybird he was trying to court with…
Oh, no.
She was staring at him again instead of getting ready for the bath! Head fully turned towards him as if she wasn’t even making an effort to hide it. If the Medicine Seller noticed her ogling him in broad daylight, he didn’t voice it nor look back at her while preparing the bed. But that didn’t matter. Heat flooded her face, and she made haste to gather the rest of her stuff, almost tripping over her foot when she rushed over to his box and dug for her clothes. The sooner she got out, the better she would feel from this cursed weather.
Yukina didn’t even bother to look back to see if he noticed her little hiccup. Afraid that if she did, she would be doomed forever. One slam of the sliding door, and she was gone.
There was no one else in the bathing area besides her, which reflected the innkeeper’s words that it was about to close soon. Even the water in the large bath was turning cold and lukewarm as the fire underneath was already snuffed out some time ago. Though that didn’t bother her in the slightest. At least she got to groan silently to herself from the earlier embarrassment in peace as she scooped up her bucket of water to bathe with. She would have gone outside and rolled around in the freezing snow if the bath had been emptied out instead. Anything to calm the buzzing nerves in her system.
A bucket of water later, Yukina thoroughly scrubbed her body with the bag of rice bran. Three times from head to toe was all it took until her skin started to feel raw from the excessive scrubbing, but it was all necessary to cleanse the impurities lingering beneath the skin. Impurities that only she could see and feel.
Once she was finally done and donned her clean yukata and underwear, Yukina felt like a brand new woman, freed from her sickness and from the fire that almost consumed her. Her method worked, and she couldn’t be any happier than this. All she had to do was to sleep it away for the rest of the night and pray that the following day would be forgiving.
Oh, she was wrong.
The moment she stepped back into the room, all her efforts went in vain. There in the corner lay the fully set-up futon. Sheets were smoothed out, and pillows were fluffed up to perfection. Pristine and inviting. Enough room for two people; her breath hitched at the realization.
Said second person turned his attention to her from the ground. He was sitting on a tatami mat, legs crisscrossed, and leaning against the wall next to his wooden box. Unlike her, who was ready for bed, he was still in his usual getup. No change of clothes, removal of his makeup, or a bath to wash away the dirt of today. Nothing, which was something she was used to, even if she didn’t fully understand it herself.
“How was the bath?” The Medicine Seller’s tone was casual, but his yellow eyes held slight interest, probably because she rushed out of the room like a chicken without its head.
Yukina took in a deep breath to level her voice. A sweet musky aroma tingled her nose, and it appeared to be shrouding him like a cloud, tempting her to come in closer and take a bite.
Did he always smell this good?
“It was good,” she responded lamely and walked past him to put away her dirty clothes and toiletries before bed. Each step felt heavier than the last as if a strong current of water was pushing her back and guiding her to the person she was trying to distance herself from the most. But she managed to push on, tucking everything away in her bag before making her way to her side of the bed. Despite the many layers, the bed felt cold and alone when she crawled underneath the covers and settled into position, lying on her side and back facing him.
Throughout the whole time, she felt his eyes boring into her in silence, but she didn’t have it in her to steal a glance and gauge what he was thinking. No, she was too busy trying to tame the fire that was starting to stir within her for the third time today, and it wasn’t because of the many layers on top of her. The metaphorical butterflies in her stomach fluttered at the thought of him joining her in bed. His bare skin flushed against hers from behind, spooning and caressing her skin with the tip of his nails…
Yukina grimaced—there were so many things she did not know about him! Not his real name. Not his favorite color. Not his favorite activity outside of his occupation. Nor what he looked like underneath all those layers of clothes. Nothing, besides that he was a medicine seller on a journey to slay mononoke, and she tagged along with him to redeem herself from the sins she had committed in the past and to repay for everything he had done for her before. Yet here she was trying to imagine him in bed with her. Something that felt so taboo. Though it would never happen as he never once joined her despite getting a room for two as “husband and wife.” His nightly routine just consisted of sitting against the wall, fully clothed like he was right now, and closing his eyes to rest for the night. How he could sleep while sitting up, she had no idea, and the excuses he always gave were something along the lines of respecting her privacy and keeping watch in case he appeared again.
Better safe than sorry, she supposed.
Likewise, never had she asked him to join her before. She wasn’t the type to easily offer a man to share the same bed with her, even though him creepily sleepsitting in the far corner like a madman was no better either. In the past, she had offered to get him a spare futon, something more comfortable than a wall. But he always declined, saying there was no need, which did nothing but add more to his weirdness—another mystery she had yet to crack about him.
“Goodnight, Yukina.” All the thoughts spiraling in her head came to a screeching halt at the sound of his smooth voice, almost like her mind was tuned to him even in the slightest bit. If she strained her ears hard enough, it sounded like a purr hidden behind his words. However, his voice was far away to determine for sure, a stark reminder that he was there and not here beside her.
“Goodnight…” Yukina managed to say, finding her lips suddenly dry, that she had to lick them. Two emotions tugged at her mind like a tug-of-war. Slight disappointment that he indeed wouldn’t be joining her in bed, but relief that he wasn’t at the same time. If only she had asked for a separate room, she wouldn’t be stuck in this predicament. Damn the odd stares they would have gotten from the innkeeper and patrons if they had asked for separate rooms. Damn those who would think they were having a secret affair just because they were a man and a woman traveling together. Damn it all! Going down that route would have been a hundred times better than trying to secretly fight off this illness that came with thoughts she shouldn’t be having in the first place.
But why didn’t she ask in the first place?
A headache started to announce its presence in the forefront of her mind, and for a brief second, she thought of going to him for help. He was a medicine seller after all, and he helped her before. Perhaps he had a cure for this cursed illness. She had seen the miracles he had performed, the things no regular human could do. But what would he say if he found out that he was the center of her ailment? Her desire for him. The beast inside her that wanted a piece of him. She couldn’t risk the embarrassment or the shame, especially with his keen eyes, nor could she risk devouring him in the process if she so much as glanced in his direction. The last thing she wanted was for him to get involved for her sake. This was a problem only for her. She dealt with this many times on her own, and she could do it again this time around.
Tugging the cover over her head as a precaution in case her inner turmoil reflected on her face, Yukina closed her eyes and forced everything to the back of her mind, forgetting that he existed. The smoldering fire beneath her stomach slowly sizzled out the more she steadied her breathing and erased her mind.
In and out…
In and out…
Cool as the winter breeze outside…
Isolated and in control…
…
..
.
His hands.
His lips.
His touch.
Caressing her body in places she could never have imagined before. Places only he knew how to unlock.
Their bodies perfectly molded together like two puzzle pieces, and his hot breath fanning against her skin, holding her in place, as he brought her closer and closer to the—
A loud gasp escaped from her lips as her body jolted wide awake, eyes darting frantically around in the darkness for any form of familiarity. There were none, but her entire body felt completely drenched and hot as if she had just taken a plunge into a very, very hot spring. So hot that her lungs were gasping for air from the heat. It was almost suffocating, and she needed to get out.
Sitting up, she found herself not in a hot spring but in bed. Sheets wrapped her like snakes in a similar fashion to the yukata she wore to bed. All wet and constricting. This was the complete opposite of what happened seconds ago. Her groggy mind scrambled to understand what was going on, while her hands made haste to tear the clinging sheets off of her. The longer it took for the sheets to come off, the more desperate her movement became, like a wild animal trying to claw out of their binds. All rational thoughts tossed aside, the throbbing pain between her eyes that she initially ignored became more prominent by the second.
Amid all the ruffling and shuffling, her ears picked up on a similar sound that was distant from where she lay, followed by a familiar voice, “Yukina… are you alright?”
In the opposite corner of the room sat the Medicine Seller, legs crisscrossed yet body poised forward as if he was about to get up. Any signs of fatigue that she expected to see in him were all gone. Instead, they were replaced with the subtle worry lines on his forehead and the furrowed brows above his luminous eyes that she could very well see, just like the rest of his body.
However, all of those signs went over her head when that aroma coming from him again assaulted her nose. Much stronger this time, beckoning her to come closer to him. Throat suddenly going dry and heart pounding loudly in her ears, the coils in her abdomen came back in full force, heating and twisting in a painful way that she almost doubled over and groaned. Deep down, she knew it needed to be released like a beast opening its maw, ready to feast.
He looked so delectable.
So divine.
But no—
She couldn’t.
“Yuki—”
The sound of the Medicine Seller’s voice calling her for the second time died out when she scrambled to her feet and rushed out of the room. Her feet were already doing the talking as she ran down the hallway, not caring if the ruckus disrupted the other patrons’ sleep. She had to get out cause if she had stayed there a second more, the beast would surely have lunged at him. The further away, the better. Luckily, another set of footsteps wasn’t chasing after her from the sound of it or lack thereof.
Eyes jumping from one wall to another, Yukina made her way through the endless corridors. For an inn so small, it suddenly felt large. She wasn’t sure where else to go. The only place she knew of was the bathing area in the other hallway. The sliding door to that room was closed when she got there. No noise was heard, nor were any lights seen from the other side as she expected. A perfect place to seclude herself from the outside world as she recuperated. She was about to sneak in until she felt a breeze, one that tugged on the end of her yukata as if on cue. Her eyes followed the door nearby where the draft was coming from, seeping through the cracks. Such an offer was too tempting to pass on, and she walked over to open the door.
Outside was refreshing. A full moon was out, shining brighter than ever before. Its light reflected on the snowy landscape, illuminating the atmosphere in a hue of deep blue. And the best of it all was the breeze—a nice cold breeze that nipped at her skin every time it blew on her. Any normal person would shiver and freeze, but Yukina welcomed every bit of it. Closing her eyes, she steadied her breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly while allowing the cold to snuff out the fire burning inside her. If the cold could also stop time, then she believed it as well, as after some moments, her mind felt more at ease. It was like all those thoughts buzzing in her head froze in mid-air.
Opening her eyes once more, the first thing that caught her attention was a small building in the corner—a stall, more like. That must be the toilet, and the realization reminded her of the mess between her legs, which she very well knew wasn’t sweat. Thick, warm, slimy, and no doubt soaking her underwear in it too. She had to clean up.
Going outside without any shoes on or socks, for that matter, was out of the question. As much as the cold was rejuvenating, too much was too much. Though going back inside to fetch her forgotten shoes by the entryway was just as daunting as going out barefoot. What if the Medicine Seller was there and waiting around the corner? Sure, there wasn’t a speck of sound in the hallway behind her, nor any signs of him when she turned around. But he could be sneaky if he wanted to be. He had done it before, and surely he would do it again at this moment. She just couldn’t bear to meet eye-to-eye with him right now, or ever as long as this keeps up.
But the toilet was calling out to her. Even if she wasn’t planning on returning to the room any time soon, at least she should feel more comfortable. Less sticky and wet. Reluctantly, Yukina headed back inside to retrieve her shoes, even going so far as to tiptoe her way down the corridor, ears straining to pick up on any sound—a skill she had to develop over the past years. If he was going to be sneaky, so should she.
Silence and stillness were the only known presence in the corridor, yet still no sign of the Medicine Seller as she approached the entryway towards the front. But she stopped right behind the corner and slowly peeked around it, half-expecting him to be standing there.
He wasn’t, and their door at the end of the hallway was completely shut. No lights were seen at all. Surely, one would light up a lantern if their companion rushed out of the room like a wild beast in the middle of the night, she thought, unless he was somewhere else. However, looking down, she spotted his shoes right next to hers, an indication that he had to be inside the room, cause where else would he be in this tiny inn?
Oh, well, one last thing to worry about.
After quickly donning her shoes and swiftly returning to the back entrance, Yukina set foot outside. The snow crunched underneath her foot as she carefully walked over it. Droplets of snow flickered at her bare feet despite her best effort at first, and soon, she gave up entirely after a couple of steps. The freezing snow could do good in keeping the fire snuffed out.
The smell inside the stall was so obvious, and it wasn’t because of the human waste. No—it was far too pleasant to be that. Instead of the putrid and foul odor that usually accompanied the toilet, her nose was assaulted by a rich and honeyed scent. Except the only honey she found inside was the thick, colorless goop between her legs, and its quantity was way more than what she could ever have imagined. Cleaning it was a mess as some got on her fingers due to the sheer amount that was dripping down her thighs. Relieving herself was no better nor helped with the cleaning as the smell of her urine was so pungent—so suffocating— she wondered what the hell she drank to get this bad.
Yet the worst of it was her clit throbbing for attention as if there weren’t many other problems she had to deal with first, but damned would she be if she were to give in. Not in this stall and not with him possibly nearby.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t clean everything. Her underwear was still damp when she slid it back on, a constant reminder of the effect he had on her. The only difference was that it was cold from being exposed to the freezing air. But it was not like it would make a difference anyway. With how quickly her body heated up at the moment, it didn’t take long for the damp fabric to feel as warm as she was.
All this because of a damn dream. All this because of him.
Stepping outside the stall, Yukina let out a deep breath for what felt like the billionth time today, watching the puff of hot air from her mouth dissipate into the cold. There was no way she could go back now, given her current state. If she did, it would be back to square one again. As a last resort, her eyes swoop over the horizon. Still barren and flat as ever. No trees around for her to escape to and hide in shame. Nobody needed to see her like this. Nobody at all. Especially him.
Why was this happening to her? She never recalled this being this bad before. Previously, her symptoms only consisted of restlessness, increased body temperature, loss of appetite, and, of course, arousal. Sometimes, a small fever would break out if she was pushed too hard at work, which happened more often than not with the wretched people she used to work for. One time, when the fever got her bedridden, they brought in help to her surprise. Despite their cruelty, they couldn’t afford to replace her, unlike the other servants. After all, who else could perform the duties that only she was cursed to do?
Doctors, shamans, spiritual healers—none of them could figure out what was going on. All they speculated was that it was a curse, an evil spirit possessing her. She never believed such things, as she would have known very well if her soul were being attacked. And strangely enough, it only happened around this time of the year. But now she was reconsidering it.
She wanted to yell. To scream. To shout. To let it all out. But none of those things were done as they were pointless. It was not like the gods would hear her sufferings. The only thing she could do was to wash her filthy hands. Too bad the water inside the bucket by the stall’s door was frozen. Nonetheless, these hands needed a wash, along with the rest of her body. Anything to cleanse her body from these sins.
Bending down, Yukina braced herself to break through the icy surface to get to the freezing water. The ladle next to the bucket could aid in her cause, but she stopped short when she caught her own eyes staring right back at her.
Long, pointy ears that were once small and round. Sharp protruding canines that were once short and dull. And her eyes. They grew slanted and narrow over the years. So much had changed about her. Even the color of her hair and eyes was no match, slowly changing from an earthy brown to an orange undertone. Everything different about her stared back at her in the reflection like a fox hiding beneath the surface. It almost reminded her of someone…
Someone like the Medicine Seller.
Speaking of the Medicine Seller, she wondered where he was, surprised that he hadn’t made himself known yet. But when her gaze lifted back to the entrance of the inn where she once came from, he was found standing there under the overhang. Still as a statue, and narrow eyes bored into her with such intensity that she flinched.
How long had he been standing there?
This wasn’t good. Her first thought was to jump inside the toilet stall and stay in there until he took the hint and left. Though knowing him, he’d probably stay there longer and eventually come up to the stall to check on her. Her second thought was to make a run for it—anywhere, for that matter, even though she very well knew that he could catch up in no time if he wanted to.
“Yukina.” His voice broke through the silent air as he took a couple of steps onto the snow to join her. Feet frozen to the ground, Yukina could only helplessly watch as he approached her. With each step he took, the coils in her stomach started to tighten in a way she wasn’t sure if it was from arousal, nervousness, or a combination of both. Either way, his presence was making her feel funny. “You shouldn’t stay out for too long. You’ll catch a cold.”
Catch a cold? More like she’d catch on fire if she dared to go back inside with him.
Despite his calm yet concerned tone, Yukina could hear the buzzing noise in his head, questions he wanted answers to, as always. It was a matter of whether she had an adequate answer to give. Even if she did, would she tell him? Something in his eyes told her that he would find out one way or another.
“Uh… right,” she said so dumbly as she rose to her feet from the ground. This was it. “Sorry.”
The Medicine Seller gave a slight nod, the moonlight shining just right on his beautiful, pale face, before gesturing to the building. “Let’s head back inside.”
Yukina waited for him to take the lead, but he stood there clearly waiting for her to take it instead, probably to make sure she wouldn’t run off again. With no other choice, her feet reluctantly dragged on, trotting through the snow while regretting her lack of decision-making skills. What she would give for that hand wash, as her hands were starting to sweat, along with other parts of her body. She blamed it on him for breaking her focus, unintentional or not.
The walk back to their room was silent. No words were needed to describe the thick tension between them. It was hard to focus on the task at hand when she could feel his eyes burning into the back of her head as they walked down the dark hallway. The fact that he wasn’t carrying a lantern pulled her attention away for a bit. Why he didn’t bother to light one in the middle of the night to look for her was a mystery in itself, more so, he had yet to stumble in the dark himself. It was almost like he could see well in the dark, like some nocturnal animals. But thinking about it, it wasn’t that dark either. While a full moon was out, that didn’t explain why it was naturally bright inside. It should have been a few shades darker at this time of the night, she most definitely recalled.
Her pointless train of thought came to a halt when she found herself standing in front of their door. However, her body refused to move, anxious about what would come next, until the Medicine Seller moved beside her and slid the door open for her. Everything in the room remained the same, except for the bed that looked like a tornado had just swooped by. Sheets were haphazardly tossed everywhere on top of a crooked futon.
Again, he waited for her to step inside first, which took a lot of willpower from her to do so. Crossing the threshold, Yukina situated herself in the middle of the room and picked a random corner to face that was away from the bed. Dread, apprehension, and, unsurprisingly, excitement pricked at her stomach like needles as the Medicine Seller entered her field of vision, stopping in front of her at arm's length. He was so close that she could smell that musky scent of his, yet so far from her that she yearned for more.
“So tell me,” he said, bringing her attention to his mouth. Those sharp canines peeking behind his lips every time he spoke—she wondered how they would feel. “What’s been bothering you lately?”
Yukina’s gaze automatically lowered to his covered chest, drifting along the edge of his cyan blue neckline where it meets the dark shades of his kimono, as she chewed the inside of her cheeks to compose herself. Normally, she would have outright denied it by saying “nothing,” but he was far too observant to fall for that excuse.
Then what should she say? That she had been having dirty thoughts and dreams involving him? That her body was set ablaze every time she got near him? That she had been running away from him because of it, to stop the beast from consuming both of them?
Oh, a stab to the throat sounded more appealing than spilling her little secret.
Gaze still fixated on his chest, Yukina spoke with some honesty, “I’ve been feeling under the weather lately.” It wasn’t exactly a lie; all of that was true, but he didn’t have to know the whole thing.
“Oh?” The playful undertone in his voice was surprisingly evident, like feigned surprise if she didn’t know better, prompting her gaze to flicker to his face in search of its source. One of his painted brows was quirked up, and his lips barely concealed a smirk that he was holding back. She couldn’t tell if he found her revelation amusing or if it was something else.
What game was he trying to play now?
“Oh?” she repeated, quirking an eyebrow as well, but incredulously. “What do you mean, ‘oh’?”
The Medicine Seller did not seem fazed by her clear distaste. Instead, his eyelids lowered ever-so-slightly as he simply asked, “What symptoms are you experiencing?”
She should have expected that—him wanting to know the nitty-gritty of every aspect about her. Now her mind was left scrambling for ways to talk about said symptoms without giving too much away. Or… perhaps there was a medicine he could whip up to cure her of this ailment, though she had her doubts.
“Uh…” her voice trailed off. Those expectant yellow eyes of his made it hard for her to formulate the right words. A challenge of some sort that he was setting out for her. “A fever, constant sweating like my body is on fire… and my head feels hazy too.”
He hummed absently in acknowledgment, but she didn’t miss the amusement gleaming in his eyes. “Anything else?”
Both of her brows shot up as her heart skipped a beat. A beat too long. Why was he asking that? Did he not believe her? Could he tell there was more to it than meets the eye? However, his posture, his expression, his tone—everything about him—told her that it was very much the latter.
Nausea gnawed at her stomach, twisting and churning like black sludge in an endless pit that somehow only sank deeper. All the while, the energy in the room shifted to match that exact feeling. Something she feared the most. No—she was just imagining things. There was no way he could have known. He was simply gauging her innocent condition. That was all.
Right?
Yukina had to swallow the lump in her throat before cautiously asking, “What do you mean?” Though the words leaving her lips sounded pointless at this moment. Nothing she said could change what he was about to say next.
The Medicine Seller took a small step forward, closing the distance between them. His head peered slightly down, and his eyelids lowered even more, still maintaining eye contact with her, giving her his undivided attention.
“Anything like…” He started before pausing dramatically. A smirk finally crossed his lips, his sharp canines on full display, as he asked in the most sultry tone ever, “Arousal? Carnal thoughts that swirl in your head nonstop?”
Her breath hitched as if the air in her lungs were knocked out. Jaws slackening and eyes widening, she could only stare at him like a deer caught in a hunter's sight. A hunter whose smirk grew even more, satisfied with the reaction he expected from said deer.
But how could he tell? He couldn’t be a mind reader, could he? All that distancing and running away from him was for nothing? Pointless, even? She had to know what gave it away; what mistakes she made.
“H-how did you notice?” Yukina stammered, feeling the heat rushing to her face.
A low chuckle rumbled from his chest, obviously amused with the whole situation. “How could I not when you smell so delightful…” Tilting his head back, his eyes fluttered shut and his nose barely twitched, taking in a soft, deep breath like he was savoring the moment before purring, “And divine.”
“Don’t say it like that.” She hissed through gritted teeth. Pain shot through her abdomen like hot lead ready to burst, her palms also smeared where her nails dug deep into her skin from clenching.
Whatever he meant by that, she had no clue. But the beast inside her did, and it responded well. Roaring, it clawed and tore its way to the forefront of her mind, desperately trying to escape from its imprisonment. Each violent thrash severed the many threads holding it back until the few strongest ones remained. And it took a lot of willpower to keep those last strands from joining the rest. She had to put a stop to this cat-and-mouse game. He may think that he was the cat and she was the mouse, but that was far from the truth. She was the feral feline stalking her prey, and he didn’t even know that he was her target.
The Medicine Seller opened his eyes and gazed at her, seemingly oblivious to the storm of turmoil raging inside her. “My apologies.” Neither his voice nor the hand he raised up was apologetic in any way. “But that is the truth.”
Truth? What truth did he know?
“What is happening to me?” she pleaded, her voice teetering to that of desperation. The sooner she knew, the faster she could resolve this and tame the beast before it was too late.
Shockingly, a flicker of surprise flashed in his eyes. “You don’t know?” he asked, tilting his head to the side in a puzzled manner as if she should already have the answer herself.
“No!” she barked out loud. “This happens every year, and I-I don’t know how to get rid of it.”
A long silence fell between them. So uncomfortable, so nerve-racking, as the Medicine Seller continued to stare at her wordlessly. Yukina wasn’t sure if it was because he was at a loss for words like she was, but a strange look crossed his face. Was it understanding? Empathy? Sympathy?
“This ailment you speak of…” he said, his voice low and calm, “is nothing to be concerned about. It is simply part of your nature.”
“My nature?” Yukina’s voice barely came out as a whisper, completely and utterly lost in the direction this conversation had taken. The fact that he was acting as if this was out of her control was ominous in itself. “What is my nature?”
But he remained silent, and fury quickly consumed her, fed up by his constant evasion to give her a straightforward answer in a desperate time of need. This was no time to be all cryptic and secretive!
When she opened her mouth to protest, he continued in a composed tone, “There’s only one way to help alleviate it.” Then the same painted smirk from before reappeared, smaller yet full of energy, as his eyelids lowered to match the promise it held, causing her heart to flip. “And I’m sure you know what that is.”
There was no way—she just misheard him, right? He was referring to one of the many medicines in that big box of his, right? But the smirk on his face was not a hallucination. It was there and real, affirming that he was truly offering something more than what she could ever bargain for.
The remaining threads holding her back started to snap one by one, and the beast didn’t have to do much. Yukina was losing control, but she couldn’t bring herself to accept that fact. Head tilting down, she clamped her eyes shut and breathed hard to drown out the outside world and him, doing everything in her power to keep that last strand from snapping. The beast whined and whimpered in response, begging her to cave in. In all honesty, why was she resisting? She had nothing left to lose, right? One small taste of the medicine should calm the beast… but there was always that risk of wanting more. Did the Medicine Seller know that as well? Sure, he acted so confident and assured in his practice, like it was some measly sickness he could simply heal. But was he truly aware of what he was getting himself into—the beast he was about to face?
Then, she felt him shift and move in closer, standing so close that she could sense everything. His body heat. His intoxicating smell. His breath brushed her skin. His ghostly touch as his hands gently grabbed hers. So tempting that she almost leaned forward to get a taste.
Instead, she opened her eyes and watched him bring her trembling fists together in front of her. His long, slender fingers wrapped around her like a cocoon. Light as a feather, yet sent sparks through her veins. Despite that, her hands soon stopped trembling and relaxed under him.
He leaned down, his head hovering just above hers, and whispered so smoothly and silkily it felt almost sinful. “Let me help you.”
The last thread snapped.
The beast was out.
Letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, she finally looked up with pleading eyes like a woman parched for water in the middle of a desert. “Yes… please.”
His smirk widened, his canines glinting in the darkness as his yellow eyes burned with such intensity that matched the desire in hers. That was when she came to realize he wasn’t a hunter or a prey. He was a beast, much like her, eager for what the night would bring to them together.
“Very well. Lie down for me.”