Work Text:
Madam Sān is walking past Mingxing Jewelry when she sees a young man standing outside of- well, that place. She gasps. He looks much too young to be arranging a funeral! Quickly she stops and pretends to be enamored by one of the stray cats on the other side of the street, glancing over surreptitiously. There’s a story here, she can sense it.
She has to squint because her eyes aren’t what they used to be. The young man is on shorter side, which makes her want to go over there and lecture him about eating more. He looks rebellious - there are streaks of teal in his dark hair and a tattoo covers his entire right arm. She vaguely recalls a story of the Conqueror of Demons having a similar tattoo. If this young man got his tattoo to pay homage to such an honorable figure, then Madam Sān very much approves.
She watches as he has a short conversation with the ferrylady. A moment later she ducks inside that place. The young man crosses his arms. When Zhongli-xiānsheng appears, she has to stifle her gasp. They exchange a few words, then fortunately proceed to the bridge. Madam Sān hurries to follow an inconspicuous distance behind, straining her ears to hear their conversation.
“...should ask Hu Tao for some leave,” the young man is saying. From behind them she can’t see his expression, but the way Zhongli-xiānsheng tilts his head towards his companion seems playful.
“Oh? And why is that? Is there somewhere you want to go, xiǎo-dìdi?”
Madam Sān nearly faints right there on the bridge. Zhongli-xiānsheng has a younger brother?!
As she collects herself the young man - Zhongli-xiānsheng’s dìdi!!! - says grudgingly, with all the willingness of one having their teeth pulled, “Chenyu Vale. That little Wushou dancer said he’s having a performance and invited me to come see.”
“Gaming?” Zhongli-xiānsheng muses, “Perhaps we should. I’m interested to see how he performs. When is his performance?”
There’s a long pause. Madam Sān has to pretend to pet one of the dogs that hang around Second Life. Sounding like he’s gritting his teeth, Zhongli-xiānsheng’s dìdi says, “Three days from today.”
Her mouth drops open. Three days! That’s too little time to plan a vacation, even to Chenyu Vale! And Chenyu Vale isn’t even that far away! Madam Sān narrows her eyes at Zhongli-xiānsheng, expecting that he’ll politely refuse. Instead, she’s utterly baffled when he throws back his head and laughs.
“Three days! Well then,” he says fondly. His dìdi grumpily lets him ruffle his hair. “I suppose I’ll have to ask for leave, won’t I.”
So quietly that she almost can’t hear, Zhongli-xiānsheng’s dìdi says, “...thank you, gēge.”
“I heard it with my own ears!” Madam Sān declares. “Zhongli-xiānsheng really does have a dìdi!”
Her friends Madam Wǔ and Madam Liú both gasp. “You’re not kidding?” Madam Liú whispers, leaning in and glancing furtively around them. “You really heard them say that?”
Madam Sān slams back her oolong like a shot, pressing her fist over her heart. “I swear it on Rex Lapis’ name,” she says solemnly. Then: “They called each other dìdi and gēge! I couldn’t make this up I tried.”
Madam Wǔ rubs her temples and says, wryly, “Are you sure you didn’t mishear, Sān’er? Haven’t you been having hearing problems as of late?”
“Wǔ-jie!” She cries, “How could you not believe me!”
Madam Liú frowns. “Well, where did this mysterious dìdi come from? I’ve never seen him around the Harbor.”
Madam Sān sniffs. “If you both would have let me continue, I did some digging. Apparently Mao’s girl knows him, as does Madam Ping’s ward. And those two blue boys,” she says triumphantly.
Madam Wǔ drums her fingers on the table. “Sān’er,” she says decisively, “Show us where you saw them.”
The three of them stake out that place for a week after Zhongli-xiānsheng returns from his vacation to Chenyu Vale. It really does pay to be retired! While Zhongli-xiānsheng’s schedule is somewhat erratic, it’s a well-known fact that he always arrives and leaves work at regular times. It is however, frankly, boring, because nothing happens for the first five days. By the second day Madam Liú brings a raunchy novel and it feels like they’re schoolgirls again, giggling over smutty books.
On the sixth day they finally strike gold. Madam Wǔ elbows them both and says discreetly, “Sān’er, is that him?”
She has to squint. “Yes, it is!”
Approaching from the direction of Yujing Terrace is Zhongli-xiānsheng’s dìdi. He’s dressed exactly the same as when she first saw him. They all pretend that they’re birdwatching on the upper walkway as he passes by underneath them and stops in front of the door to that place. As if on cue Zhongli-xiānsheng opens the door with a smile on his face.
“Dìdi,” he greets warmly. Despite how standoffish he had seemed the first time Madam Sān had seen him, there’s no protest from his dìdi when Zhongli-xiānsheng pulls him in with an arm around his waist. She’s halfway through a thought about how that seems a little too close for brothers to be when Zhongli-xiānsheng bends down and kisses his dìdi on the mouth. Madam Sān’s jaw drops. Madam Liú gasps.
Zhongli-xiānsheng’s dìdi relaxes, standing up on his toes and putting his hands on his gēge’s waist. Madam Sān has to start fanning herself with her hand. The raunchy novel was nothing compared to this, and that had intimacy!
When they part they say a few soft words to each other - unable to be heard since the three of them are too high up and also because they’re experiencing a huge, huge shock - before Zhongli-xiānsheng intertwines his and his dìdi’s hands, whisking them both into that place. The door swings shut behind them.
“...ah,” Madam Wǔ says, as if she has had a revelation, “That kind of dìdi.”
“Oh. My. Archons!!!” Madam Liú screams into her hands.
“Zhongli-xiānsheng is taken?!” Madam Sān wails.