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Language:
English
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Published:
2013-02-07
Completed:
2013-03-11
Words:
83,411
Chapters:
9/9
Comments:
104
Kudos:
241
Bookmarks:
67
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7,230

I Don't Know Where I Belong, I Don't Know Where I Went Wrong

Summary:

"The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with." Brian and Pam's friendship through the years.

Notes:

Thanks to the people who cheered me on through this. You know who you are.

This fic follows the canon storyline up to 9.15 "Couples Discount." Story and chapter titles are lines from "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers, which happens to be my husband's favorite song. He absolutely hates this new Brian twist.

Chapter 1: I've Been Trying to Do It Right

Chapter Text

The first time he sees her, she’s standing at the copier, collating a contract for one of the salesmen. He sees what everyone must see: a pretty, but ultimately unhappy, young woman.

She’s there throughout the day, mostly dealing with Michael, the ridiculous manager of the Dunder Mifflin Paper branch that they’re shadowing for today, but she doesn’t leave much of an impression.

She’s the second-to-last person to sit down for her one-on-one interview with the camera at the end of the day. “Just pretend we aren’t here,” Joe, the primary cameraman and director of this documentary, instructs her. She does about as well as the rest of the staff: avoids the camera with determination, opting to address Brian directly.

They all address Brian instead of the camera. He figures there’s something about his face, or maybe Joe is just that intimidating.

“Roy is my fiance,” she says cheerfully when prompted by Brian. “We’ve been engaged about, um, about three years.” There’s a certain frostiness as she explains about her postponed wedding and long engagement.

“How do you feel about downsizing?” Brian reads from the list of questions they’d prepared that morning.

“I don’t think it would be the worst thing, if they let me go,” she answers thoughtfully, as if the camera isn’t even there. “Because then, I would... It’s just, I don’t think it’s many little girl’s dreams to be a receptionist. I like to do illustrations, mostly watercolor, a few oil pencil...” Her face brightens. “Jim thinks they’re good!”

When they’re reviewing footage at the end of the day, it’s Carmen, the secondary camera operator, who pauses on a shot of Jim at reception and says, “There’s something between those two.”

“Oh well,” Brian says shortly, ready to put this whole depressing paper company experience behind him. “We’ll never know, will we?”

---

Three days later, they get a phone call from the studio head, expressing an interest in shadowing the paper company for a full month. They even add an additional film crew and provide enough mic packs for everyone in the office.

“Maybe they want to laugh at that Michael guy,” Joe grumbles as they pull into the Dunder Mifflin parking lot before sunrise on a Tuesday morning. “It certainly can’t be an interest in paper.”

It doesn’t matter. Money is money.

None of them are prepared for Diversity Day. How could they be? If the suits were looking for a train wreck, they found one in Michael Scott.

They don’t comment on Pam falling asleep on Jim’s shoulder, but it makes its way into the final cut to send to their studio bosses.

They get notes back the next afternoon: more focus on Jim pranking Dwight, Michael’s antics, and Jim and Pam’s interactions. Joe rolls his eyes, muttering that he can’t stand Michael and Jim.

Brian doesn’t have any strong opinions on any of the staff members.

---

The healthcare fiasco is something that could only happen under Michael Scott’s tutelage, aided and abetted by Dwight. It ends disastrously. The studio loves it.

---

Things take a turn during their third week, when Jim pulls his biggest prank to date: a Survivor-style alliance with Dwight, caused by Dwight’s deep-seated fear of downsizing. Pam is a willing accomplice, having loud conversations with Jim about allegiances and loyalty.

They corner Pam after her party-planning committee meeting. “Do those meetings always go like that?” Brian asks Pam, who shakes her head.

“This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said that she doesn’t like to gamble. Of course, by saying that, Angela was gambling that I wouldn’t smack her.”

Brian chuckles, surprising even himself, and Pam gives him a glowing smile before asking, “Did you have any other questions?”

Right after that meeting, she helps Jim prank Dwight by pretending to have inside information. Jim is all grins for his talking head interview afterwards: “She is just...”

It bothers Brian that Jim can’t finish that sentence.

Dwight ends up taped in a box down in the warehouse. Brian’s getting used to these antics by now, but he still grins at Pam standing beside the box, pretending to conspire with cohorts.

So it shouldn’t surprise them to see Roy freak out when Jim gets too comfortable with Pam. Jim tries to sputter apologies and explanations, but it comes out convoluted.

Grabbing his bag at the end of the day, Jim looks at Brian. “Couldn’t you have shown him the footage?” he mutters in a low voice.

“Sorry, man,” Brian says, and he means it. “We aren’t supposed to get involved.”

Jim looks irritated, but Brian suspects he’s really only angry with himself. He sounds tired as he shoulders his bag and asks, “What are you guys even interested in here? We sell paper.”

Brian lowers the boom mic. “We’re not sure.”

Jim does his patented smirk-shrug. He gets it.

He’s not sure what’s keeping him here, either.

---

The next Thursday, Pam places an irritable call about her toaster oven. She snaps and grumbles about the warranty, then grudgingly concedes the point that it’s three years old.

“What was up with Pam earlier?” Brian asks Jim after their talking head interview. It’s unscripted, a lot of their questions have been off the cuff lately, but Joe still has the camera pointed at Jim.

“Pam gets a little down,” Jim answers diplomatically, his head bobbing with earnesty. “Her toaster oven broke, which she got at her engagement shower... for a wedding that still has yet to be set. And that was three years ago.” Another half-shrug accompanies the end of this explanation, and Jim widens his eyes at Brian, as if to say he cannot comprehend Roy’s motives.

It’s dangerous thinking, to believe you can love a girl better than the man she’s dating.

---

On their last day of filming, a pretty redhead comes into the office and sets up shop in the conference room, selling handbags. It goes about as well as anything else in this office has gone. Michael and Dwight both take runs at her, but it’s Jim who wins her over at the end of the day.

Pam puts on a brave face for most of the day, even going as far as saying that she likes having Katie there. The facade begins to crack at lunch, when Roy tells Jim, “I’d be all over that if I wasn’t dating Pam.” Brian can’t blame her for storming off.

And he feels worse for Pam when Jim gives Katie a ride home; the look on her face as she sits in Roy’s pickup can only be described as “stricken.” She has no idea how close she was, that she could’ve had him if she’d only asked.

---

Brian’s a bit nostalgic as they review their footage from their last day. It’s a sunny Saturday and one of the suits, Jeremy, is sitting in the edit bay with them. Jeremy pauses the tape on a shot of Pam staring at Jim.

“I’ll be honest, guys,” he says, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back. “This might turn into a long-term thing.”

“Because of them?” Joe asks incredulously, gesturing at the frozen picture.

“They’re very intriguing.”

“They’re gutless,” Joe snaps. “I guarantee we will be sitting in that stuffy office for months, maybe years, before one of them makes a move, if it ever happens.”

Joe and Brian have worked together on documentaries for three years, and they have a good professional relationship. Where Joe is usually grumpy and assertive, Brian is quiet and even-keeled.

“We want to be there if it does,” Jeremy replies blithely, his face alight with the possibilities. “Besides, they’re not the only draw. The dailies you send us, they’re highly entertaining. There’s no other office staff in the world like this one.”

Joe stares at the screen, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“We need to know if you guys are onboard, just in case. They might contract you for another month, maybe six. Possibly even a year. And you will get bonuses.”

“I’m not available until August,” Joe says in a measured voice. “I have a project in North Carolina over the summer.”

“Just as well,” Jeremy replies, standing up. “Expect a phone call in the next week.”

---

The call comes two days later.