Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nunew absolutely, tremendously, irrevocably hates Zee's guts.

No, don't get him wrong. He has nothing against guys with faces God spent extra time carving, after all, he's very into handsome guys. But yes, he has everything against this guy who thinks he's a main character everywhere he goes, who thinks he can get away from everything with his pretty face. And you know what's worse? He's the reason why Nunew's best friend, Nat, lost his spark for months. 

Which is why he's here at a café near Kasemrith University, glaring at his laptop for exactly 12 minutes now. 

Friday, July 18th, 13:39 p.m.

From: Prof. Aof P. (Creative Communications Dept.)

To: Zee Pruk Panich ([email protected]), Nunew Chawarin Perdpiriyawong ([email protected]) 

Subject: Midterm Assignment Pairing

Good afternoon,

You’re receiving this email to connect you with your assigned partner for the Creative Campaign Strategies midterm project.

Group 11: Zee Pruk Panich & Nunew Chawarin Perdpiriyawong

Pairings were randomly generated using the current class list. Should there be any concerns or issues, please feel free to reach out during my office hours or contact our course TA. Full project instructions and deadlines are available in your syllabus.

You may reach out to one another via the emails listed above — this message has been BCC’d to both of you.

Best of luck,

Prof. Aof

“Jelly, you'll drill holes into your laptop if you keep glaring at it like that,” Nat's voice echoed in the café, trying to wake his best friend up from his misery. “Besides, he can't be that bad for a partner. I heard he's really good at his projects! You actually might've hit the jackpot with this one!”

Nunew continued to stare daggers at his screen, trying to convince himself that he's just hallucinating. No, this can't be real. He thinks as he feels his eyes getting strained from staring too much, but he still can't wrap his head around what's in front of him. He thinks that maybe the email will disappear if he glared at it enough.

“I'm serious, Jelly,” Nat tries to coax Nunew, afraid that he will slam his head into his laptop after boring holes in it. “You need to let go of your grudges for him, you know it's been months since I've moved on from him. And I'm having the best time of my life with P'Max now.”

Those words made Nunew snap out of his destructive thoughts. “Moved on? You've moved on from him?” he laughs sarcastically as if he couldn't believe what Nat had just said. “I'm sorry, Jelly. But if you've already forgiven him, then I haven't. I'll never forget what he did to you. I'll never forget how I had to pull you out of your bed and beg you to eat your meals because of that asshole.”

Two years ago, 

Zee played his little game.

He was a sophomore, walking around the hallways with his condescending confidence and with his stupid handsome face that makes everyone around him drool. Nat was part of those everyone. Stupid in love Nat was only a freshman who thought being seen by someone like Zee made him special.

And for a while, Zee made him feel special. With his texts and jokes and calls that left Nat smiling in his sleep, it was enough to keep him hoping for more, real things. But just like how falling for players and flirty guys goes, it only ended up in pain and tears.

Zee just stopped one day. No explanation, no warning, just completely stopped talking to him. He ghosted Nat like he was nothing. And Nunew never cared why, all he saw was the way his best friend stopped smiling. He was the one who brought it back.

He was the one knocking on Nat's door when he wouldn't get out of bed. He was the one practically begging him to eat, to talk, to stop blaming himself. And Zee—that infuriating asshole, just walked away.

So no, Nunew doesn't care how good Zee is at group projects. He doesn't care if he's God's favorite or the Dean's or the Principal's favorite. All he sees is the douchebag who broke his best friend's heart.

Nat sighed in defeat, accepting that trying to change Nunew's mind will be harder than trying to stay awake while writing his essays. “Fine, but you know you can't change anything about it, right? Prof. Aof is literally the most terror prof in the whole universe. You won't be able to change partners no matter what you do,” he says as he looks at his best friend with emphatic eyes.

“I know,” Nunew let out a heavy sigh, shoulders drooping. He closed his laptop with a dramatic snap, already accepting his fate. The email was real, the universe's cruel joke on him is real. He has no choice but to just finish this, just keep things professional for the sake of his grades. “I guess I have to be the one to reach out to him,” he muttered bitterly. “Can't expect him to be the bigger person anyway.”

Nat let out a small laugh, sipping the last of his iced Americano. I can't wait to see how this goes, he thought.

Chapter Text

Zee is absolutely, tremendously, irrevocably in love with Nunew.

No, don't get him wrong. He knows how much Nunew hates his guts. Just from his glares across the hallway, his blatant avoidance, his rants about him on Twitter that he thinks don't reach Zee’s feed. (Spoiler alert: they do.)

Which is why he's here in his living room, baffled and staring at his laptop for 18 minutes straight now.

From: Nunew Chawarin Perdpiriyawong ([email protected]) 

Subject: Midterm Project

Let's just finish this and get over with. I'm free after classes on Monday and Wednesday. You can suggest where to meet.

“Bro, your laptop will actually melt if you keep staring at it like that,” Max, his roommate, pulled him back from his daydreaming. Zee didn't even flinch at his voice, his gaze remained on the short, cold email in front of him, reading and rereading each word like there's a hidden message somewhere that he missed. Maybe if he squints hard enough, something like P.S. Just kidding. I actually don't hate you and I want you to be my boyfriend will appear on the bottom. There isn't. 

“I think he actually hates me more now,” he sighed in defeat, leaning back into the chair and stares at the ceiling like it will save him from his misery. “Did I fuck up by volunteering for this project? Maybe he'll hate me even more if we work together.”

Max snorts from the other side of the room, toothbrush hanging from his mouth. “Dude, it's just an email. Why won't you chill and take a break from sitting there for hours?”

“Chill? Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Zee snaps back, glaring at how ridiculous Max sounded. “You don’t get it. This is Nunew, not just some random student on campus.”

Yes, this is Nunew. The Nunew he's been stupid in love with since sophomore years. The boy with the sharp tongue but kind heart, who feeds stray cats on the campus and helps his blockmates with their assignments. The same boy Zee avoided through the years, all because he was scared of reaching out and messing up. 

He still messed up, by the way. He messed up big time.

Two years ago,

Zee was already falling.

He didn't realize it at first. Not when he saw Nunew during club orientations, or during their shared GE class where Nunew sat in the farthest row with his hoodie and headphones. Zee had barely noticed him then. He was just a quiet kid blending into the background.

But then one afternoon, Zee saw him. Some freshman had tripped outside the library, papers flying everywhere. Everyone walked passed and ignored him, except Nunew. He knelt down like a protagonist of a romance film, quietly helped the kid gather his things and even offered a granola bar from his bag and stayed until the boy recovered from the embarrassment. 

As cliche and Kdrama scene it may sound, that was when Zee began to notice everything. Suddenly, Nunew wasn't just the quiet kid, he became someone Zee kept looking for and hoped to catch a glimpse of. But Nunew never looked his way, not even for a second.

Nat did. Sweet, smiling Nat looked his way. So when he started texting him and showing his interest in a flirty way, Zee responded. Not because he liked Nat, but because he was Nunew's best friend. And back then, Zee was too much of a coward to approach the boy he actually liked. 

It was so fucking stupid. So incredibly stupid.

He got close to Nat thinking maybe it would bring him closer to Nunew. Instead, just like how a normal person with a functioning brain would expect, it only made things worse. Screw him, but he really didn't mean to hurt Nat. God knows he didn't. But when the flirting got too real and heavy, he panicked and pulled away with guilt, his conscience couldn't take it. Just like that, he became the asshole everyone said he was.

And when he saw Nunew's face in the hallway the next week, he knew. He knew he ruined everything.

Zee exhales, rubbing a hand down his face. He should stop overthinking and just reply. It sounds so easy, right? Just type a polite message, set a time and place, and get over this just like how Nunew wants. It sounds easy, but his fingers hesitate above the keyboard. Because this might be the only chance to be close to Nunew again. And God help him, he doesn't want to waste it.

Across the room, Max watches him with a slow grin forming on his face. He pops another spoonful of cereal into his mouth, eyes gleaming with amusement.

“This is gonna be fun.”

Chapter Text

Zee arrives at their meeting place early. Painfully early, actually. He left the dorm fifteen minutes early after spending two hours picking what he should wear (he ended up wearing a hoodie and baggy pants to look chill and casual), looped around the café twice like a weirdo, and even googled how to look chill and calm when you're sweating buckets. Now, he's sitting in a seat by the window, staring at his search history like an idiot:

• how to act chill with your crush who hates you

• what to do with your hands in public

• can you die from nervous sweating

• best sitting positions for confidence
• symptoms of dying from anxiety

He ended up clicking an article entitled “ 7 Poses To Appear More Confident and Cool .” Like a kid trying his best to listen to a teacher's instructions, Zee mimics the pose exactly: one arm draped over the chair, legs crossed just like the photo, iced Americano on the table, laptop open in front of him. He keeps checking his reflection on the screen to adjust his angle. I look so freaking cool , he thinks smugly.

That is, until he heard the café bell chimed. 

Nunew walks towards his table. Zee jolted upright so fast he almost toppled and fell in his chair backwards, he thanked all the Gods in the universe for not letting him fall and embarrass himself even more. He hurriedly smooths down his shirt, fixes his posture, and sneaks one last glance at his reflection before looking up.

Nunew stops in front of him and gives him a flat and judgmental look without saying a word. What is wrong with this man, Nunew thinks . Is he okay? His inner judgment meter goes ding! and immediately begins scanning the mess across the table.

Zee fumbles for a smile as Nunew pulls out his tablet and takes the seat across him without a sweat. He acts like this is normal, like he's not sitting with the bane of his existence. Nunew gives himself a mental clap on his back like a reward for keeping his cool so well. I'm really good at this .

Nunew doesn't waste time, he can't wait to get this over with and just go home and cuddle with his cat and forget about Zee's existence. “So,” he starts, tapping the screen a few times, “this is the midterm brief. We need to pitch a creative campaign concept, a full rollout, with print, digital, and social media.”

He speaks clearly, calmly, in the straight-in-the-point voice of his. His brows furrow just slightly as he scrolls, lips pursed as he tries to not get irritated by Zee's presence. Get a grip, Nhu, he tells himself. The faster we finish this, the faster we'll escape from this man.

Zee nods a little too fast, “Y-Yeah, that makes sense.” Focus, Zee. Focus. Don't stare at his mouth. Don't be weird. For once in your life, don't be weird.

But then Nunew's hands start moving as he talks, gesturing, pointing, highlighting things on the screen as if he's in his prime and in a TED Talk about campaign strategy. His voice gets just a little more animated when he explains something he's clearly passionate about.

Zee tries his best to listen to everything Nunew's saying, believe him. But his brain short-circuits and  thoughts just flooded in his brain without his control. Fuck. He's so smart he's so pretty he's so smart he's so–

Nunew says something about target market and promotion tactics, but Zee is already gone. Way too far gone for anyone's saving. His eyes glaze over Nunew and then it hits him, like a movie moment, background music rising in his head…

🎶 Blah blah blah… proper name…  place name… backstory stuff… blah blah marketing campaign… 🎶 

Nunew pauses mid-sentence when he notices Zee just… staring. Not at the screen, not even pretending to take notes anymore. Just blatantly staring at him like a freaking weirdo. He narrows his eyes. What the hell is wrong with him?

He taps the screen harder than necessary. “P’Zee,” he says flatly, still trying to be a decent human being and treat his senior with respect. “Are you even listening?” Zee blinks, like he's just been pulled out from a trance or something. “Huh? Y-yes! I mean–absolutely. Rollout calendar, I totally get it. Marketing strategies, right.” I like the sound of his voice saying my name.

Oh my god, Nunew thinks. He's so bad at lying. He stares at Zee for a moment, trying to connect the man in front of him to the guy Nat used to cry about. This is him? Really? The heartbreaker? The cool guy who supposedly knew how to play with people’s feelings?

Because the man in front of him looks like he's about to shit himself just by being near him. His ears are red and his fingers twitching. Nunew squints and thinks, maybe he's just a great actor, or a complete idiot. I can't believe Nat fell for this. Either way, he is determined not to fall for whatever act this is. He taps the screen again with a harsh click and a sigh.

“We're not gonna finish this if you keep zoning out,” Nunew mutters. “Can't you just focus so we can go home already?” He makes the mistake of glancing up again because when he did, Zee's already looking up at him like a lovesick fool. Nunew immediately looks down. This is going to be a nightmare.

—

After a few moments of Zee zoning out and trying to wrap his head around the fact that he’s actually sitting across from the love of his life (his secret crush for 2 years), he felt something in him shift. 

Pull it together, Zee , he tells himself. You’re not here to make him hate you even more. You're here to work. He quietly inhales through his nose, drops his gaze to the screen and forces himself to focus. Okay, Okay, think. What would Max – no, what would Nat do? No, actually, what would a competent person do right now?

Zee straightens up and clears his throat, “Okay, let’s go over that part again.”

Nunew blinks. “Huh?”

“I mean–yeah, you were talking about rollout strategies, right?” Zee adjusts his laptop and clicks on the shared doc. “I think we can make the concept around emotional storytelling. You know, make it more human-focused. We can frame the campaign around a core feeling, then map out the narrative into different platforms.”

Nunew stares at him, baffled with how confident Zee actually sounds right now. Wasn’t he just stuttering earlier?

“And,” Zee continues, tapping the screen, “if we do a phased rollout, we can match it with the audience’s behavior patterns. Like, tease content during high-engagement hours and drop the main video when traffic peaks.”

Zee’s still a little red in the ears and still fidgety, but he’s actually saying useful stuff now and Nunew can’t help but feel (just a bit!) impressed. He leans a little closer, his tone more curious than condescending. “Okay, keep going.”

And for the first time since this hellish assignment started, Zee thinks, maybe I’m not completely doomed after all .

—

Nunew walks ahead, earbuds in, tablet clutched against his chest. He’s not exactly storming off, but he’s definitely not waiting around either. That went… surprisingly decent. He wasn’t expecting much from the senior, but he actually had ideas, and not trash ones either.

He exhales sharply through his nose. Whatever. It doesn’t mean anything.

His phone buzzes. It’s Nat.

Jelly 🍮: [6:03PM] Sooo how was your first date with your mortal enemy?

Nunew types fast.

Nunew: [6:04PM] JELLY!

Nunew: [6:04PM] That was def not a date.

Nunew: [6:04PM] But he was… not that bad 

Nunew: [6:04PM] Dont make me say that again

Nunew: [6:04PM] Icb he actually has a brain tho. I was fully convinced he was just a complete idiot

Jelly 🍮: [6:05PM] Are u complimenting him?!

Jelly 🍮: [6:05PM] IS THE WORLD ENDING?!1

Nunew sighs and doesn’t reply. He’s still not letting his guard down. But… still. There’s a small (infuriating) part of him that admits Zee was… kind of good at this.

—

Zee drops his backpack by the door and heads straight for the couch face-first. Max heard him from across the room, one hand loosely scrolling his phone. “Well?” he asks without looking up. “How did your date go?”

“I’m a fucking idiot,” Zee lets out the most dramatic exhale known to man and runs his hand through his hair frustratingly. 

Max cackles. “What’s new?”

“Dude. I tried so hard to not embarrass myself. And I still failed, for fucks sake.”

“Let me guess. You stared at him for an hour?”

Zee groans. “...I didn’t mean to. He caught me.”

“Damn. So much for being chill and subtle,” Max wheezes and throws a pillow at him. “You gotta stand up, bro. Get yourself together.”

Zee sighs dramatically. If only it was that easy.

—

Nunew is lying on his stomach, blanket pulled up to his chin and eyes squinting at the harsh glow of his phone screen in the dark. His cat July is curled up near his feet, softly snoring. He scrolls back through the tweets he posted a few days ago after receiving the prof’s email, just out of curiosity. Definitely not out of guilt. …okay, maybe a tiny bit of guilt.

@nunuwhines

9:41 PM · Jul 18

Not to be dramatic but if the universe hates me it should’ve just said that. Why am I paired with him out of literally everyone in our course 😭 I don’t know what I did wrong in my life to deserve this! Really… I'd rather die than talk to him for weeks just to save my grades.

🔁 3 ❤️ 24

💬 @natnatnatnat

Jelly… Im sending you prayers and luck..

     💬 @nunuwhines

     Youre the only one who cares about my sanity.. I love you, jelly 😭❤️

💬 @max.exe

Don’t say “he” like we don’t all know it’s ZEE 

    💬 @nunuwhines

     You should be grateful I have him blocked here

        💬 @max.exe

        You know I can just snitch you on him right?

             💬 @nunuwhines

             @natnatnatnat Come get your boyfriend before I block him too!

💬 @yimtalks

I’d drop the subject if I were you LOL

      💬 @nunuwhines

       ?? Dont pretend, yim! We all know you dont care about your grades at all

💬 jamesssu

Why do you care about him so much? Im starting to think that you like him..

     💬 @nunuwhines

     Do you have a death wish?

Nunew buries his face into his pillows for a second and groans. Maybe I should’ve kept my mouth shut for once in my life. But also… no. Because what else was he supposed to do? Bottling things up isn’t exactly his brand.

He scrolls to James' reply and rolls his eyes. “Why do you care about him so much? I'm starting to think that you like him..”

“Me? Liking him? Ridiculous..” he mutters out loud and stares at the tweet for a beat too long.

No. Obviously not. Zee’s annoying. He’s smug and talks with the deep voice of him like he knows everything. He’s too infuriating no matter what he does. And the stupid way his eyes crinkle when he smiles?? It’s not even that cute.

Nunew locks his phone and tosses it aside, face burning and heart thumping for no reason at all.

“... I hate this,” he whispers. He’s just annoying , he tells himself. That’s all .

But something about the way Zee looked at him earlier that afternoon, like Nunew hung up the stars or something, keeps replaying in his head like a song he’s sick of hearing. And for once, he doesn’t dream in anger. Just confusion… and a pair of brown eyes that won’t leave him alone.

—

Max [11:47PM]: Nong, do you think it’s working?

Nat: [11:48PM]: Jelly fell asleep reading his own tweets

Nat: [11:48PM]: I’d say yes… 🤭

Max: [11:49PM]: Lmao baby we’re so good at this

Nat: [11:50PM]: We're the matchmakers of the year! 

Chapter Text

Nunew didn’t know what annoyed him more: the fact that he had to see Zee again, or the fact that he somehow expected him to ditch and flake.

They were meeting at the same cafe, same time as last week. He thought maybe Zee would forget, or be late, or send an excuse that he has a cough or maybe do anything that would annoy Nunew. But no. The guy was already sitting at their usual spot when Nunew walked in, looking weirdly at ease with himself. 

Nunew slumped into the seat without saying much, mumbling a lazy “Sorry,” just loud enough to count as accountability for being 10 minutes late.

Zee nodded. “No worries.”

Silence.

Nunew pulled out his tablet and started typing without looking at him. Zee bit the inside of his cheek, unsure whether to push conversation or just let it die. 

Instead, he pushed the second cup across the table. “You like hot chocolate, right?”

Nunew paused as his eyes flicked to the drink, then to Zee. “That’s… right,” he said slowly, feeling really suspicious of the man in front of him. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess’” Zee shrugged, trying to play it cool like he doesn’t have an entire list of everything Nunew likes and hates on his notes app. He’s not a creep, okay? (Be convinced, please.) He just doesn’t want to forget a single thing about his long-time crush.

Nunew narrowed his eyes, clearly not buying it but not pushing it either. Don’t try to pick a fight, Nhu, he reminds himself as he took the drink and sipped. Wow. It’s exactly how I like it.

Zee didn’t bring it up again as they went back to working on their project. They talked, well, not really talked. Zee talked and Nunew just nodded and gave short replies. Damn, can he at least pretend that he’s not disappointed to be with me? Zee thinks.

He jolted a bit when he remembered something, then reached into his bag to get a small box before sliding it across the table.

“... What’s this?”

Zee shrugged, trying to act casual again. “Macarons. They’re from that place near your building, right? I thought you might want one.”

Nunew squinted. He had posted a photo of those macarons a month ago on Twitter. He barely got two likes on it, and considering he had blocked Zee there years ago, how the hell would he know this?

He picked up the box cautiously like it had poison or something. Who knows, right? Maybe Zee hates him just as much as he does and wants him to disappear from this world. He peeked and realized, it’s my favorite flavors. 

He didn’t say thank you and didn’t look up either. But he did take a bite when he thought Zee wasn’t watching, and damn it tasted perfect. Gosh, he hates him so much.

Zee pretended to focus on his laptop screen, but his eyes kept flicking towards Nunew’s expression, every twitch of his mouth, every glance at the macaron box like it was suspicious. Cute .

He knew exactly how it looked: suspicious. He probably should’ve made up some more believable excuse instead of playing it off as coincidence, and now, Nunew’s probably looking at him like he was some kind of stalker.

Well… okay, maybe he is a little stalker. Just a little bit.

Zee’s phone buzzed once in his pocket and he didn’t have to check it to know what it was, notifications from his private account. The one with no profile picture, just a few followers, no tweets. Just one use: lurking around Nunew’s account.

He created it the night he realized Nunew had blocked him on Twitter. At first, he thought it was just a glitch. But no, devastatingly, he really got locked out of Nunew’s tweets. So he made a private account.

Don’t blame him, okay? He knows he probably should’ve let it go like any self-respecting person would. But Nunew’s tweets were just addictive. Funny, dramatic, a little mean sometimes, but it always made Zee’s day, making him laugh out loud when no one was around. And he knows it was really pathetic, but what can he do? He’s a sucker for him.

And now he knew more about Nunew than Nunew would probably ever want him to. Like how he had ranted about him multiple times now, how he hates that one prof that is always absent, how he hates coffee because it makes him feel agitated, and how much he likes sweets and desserts, especially macarons.

He probably shouldn’t have remembered all that. But he did, so now Nunew was sitting there across him, arms crossed, glaring suspiciously at the exact flavor combination Zee had ordered.

Zee leaned back, trying not to grin as Nunew chewed silently. The guy was still frowning, and Zee tries his best to not gush over how cute he looks trying to pretend that he doesn’t enjoy something he’s clearly enjoying.

“You know,” Zee said after a beat, “you don’t have to act like you don’t like it.”

Nunew raised a brow, “And what makes you think that I like it?”

“You’ve eaten half the box already,” Zee chuckled.

A small, reluctant twitch came off Nunew's lips, almost a smile if Zee squinted enough.

—

They went back to working. Or at least, tried to. Nunew was typing something on his tablet, probably drafting their campaign pitch, while Zee half-heartedly edits something from their slides, trying to stop his mind from completely drifting away.

He didn’t mean to look again, but Nunew had this little crease between his brows when he concentrated, and his lips that were still a bit of pink from the strawberry macaron were pouting and his lashes were fluttering whenever he looked down. Zee blinked hard and looked away. Damn, Zee Pruk. Just focus already!

“P’Zee,” Nunew said suddenly, not looking up. “Why are you even being nice to me?”

Zee froze.

Honestly, he could just laugh it off and just be a coward and run away and pretend again. But he knew the tension between them wasn’t just imagined. Nunew didn’t hate easily, but he didn’t trust easily either. And Zee… well. He didn’t exactly make the best first impression. Or second. Or third. He has to make this right somehow.

Zee cleared his throat. “I just thought… maybe we could start over.”

Nunew looked up at him then. His eyes unreadable but not hostile, he was trying to decide if Zee was serious or just full of shit.

“We don't have to be best friends. I just don’t want you to hate working with me.”

Nunew blinked, then nodded slowly. “... We’ll see.”

Just like that, the air around them felt a bit lighter… The tension was still there, but Zee could feel the way Nunew seemed to relax more across him.

—

When they finished for the day, Nunew stood up and adjusted his bag strap. He paused for a second before walking off.

“... Thanks,” he muttered, his voice just above a whisper.

Zee looked up, clearly surprised by Nunew’s sudden gratitude. “For what?”

“The drink… and the macarons,” Nunew said, then rolled his eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

Zee didn’t. He didn’t want to get his hopes up.

—

Zee is laying on his back, phone tilted above his face. He should be sleeping, it was already past midnight and they had an early morning class later, but he was still wired from today. Or maybe from being around Nunew, he’s still not over the fact that Nunew didn’t spit in his drink or storm out of the cafe.

He scrolled mindlessly through his private Twitter account, fingers moving on autopilot. He didn’t expect to see anything new. He scrolled past Nunew’s random tweets, some tweets from his favorite anime’s account, and some from his close friends. But then, a tweet posted 7 minutes ago caught his eyes.

@nunuwhines

11:18 PM · July 28

Maybe he’s actually not that bad

🔁 1 ❤️ 8

Zee blinked. Once, twice. Then bit back a grin so wide it made his cheeks hurt.

He refreshed the page, just to make sure it was real and sure enough, it was already blowing up in their small circle.

💬 @natnatnatnat

 IS this who I think this is about?

     💬 @nunuwhines

     Don’t push it, jelly

💬 @max.exe

Just know that Im side eyeing you right now 👀

    💬 @nunuwhines

     Do me a favor and get out of my account

💬 @yimtalks

Woah… Am I reading this right? You dont hate him anymore? 🤯

      💬 @nunuwhines

       What are you talking about? Im not talking about anyone!

💬 @jamesssu

I knew it. I know I'm always right

     💬 @nunuwhines

     I’m blocking you

Zee laughed, the sound muffled by his blanket as he buried his face into his pillow, his heart doing things he really, really shouldn’t let it do. He can feel his veins popping and his mind doing gymnastics, he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to sleep tonight and survive the whole week before he gets to meet Nunew again.

He didn’t like the tweet, obviously not wanting to risk anything. But he screenshotted it like a maniac anyway, locking it in his gallery like a treasure.

And for the first time in a long time, he let himself hope. Maybe he can finally do everything right this time around.

Chapter Text

The next time they meet for the project, something felt different.

Well, not entirely different. Nunew still walked in ten minutes late, still slumped into his seat like he’d rather do anything but be with Zee right now, but he didn’t scowl and didn’t  immediately open his tablet without a word either.

“Hi,” he mumbles as he adjusted his bag on his lap, eyes flicking toward Zee and then away.

Zee tries not to make it weird. “Hi,” he replied, lips twitching into a smile he quickly hid behind his coffee cup. He said hi to me... Is this real?

There was a small box sitting closely to Nunew’s seat when he noticed, he blinked at it, confused. “What’s this?”

“Just a little treat. Thought you might like cheesecake more than macarons,” Zee tried to keep his voice casual. Like he didn't just spent 2 hours overthinking what dessert he would buy for Nunew without being too grand. (He almost bought a whole ass tiramisu cake for him.)

Nunew stared at him, then at the box.  “... You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to,” Zee said simply, not turning his gaze to meet Nunew’s. I hope you'll like me as much as you like sweets someday.

Both of them stayed silent, but Nunew carefully pulled the box towards him instead of pushing it away. Zee continued to hide his smile behind his cup.

They got to work after that and this time, Zee didn’t carry the conversation alone anymore. Nunew asked a question, then another, and even hummed thoughtfully at Zee’s suggestions. Zee can’t help but hope that his chances of winning over Nunew’s heart might actually be growing bigger as their project progresses. Their conversation flowed smoothly, the tension between them slowly fading into something more comfortable. 

Zee tilted his screen toward Nunew, wanting to ask his opinion, “See? If we angle the concept this way, we can tie it back to the pitch.”

He glanced over, and shit, he nearly forgot how to breathe.

Because how could he? Nunew’s face is just inches away from his. He had leaned in to look at the screen, and now, Zee can’t even remember how to use his tongue. 

Nunew is focused and totally unfazed, eyes flicking over the text on the screen. But Zee? He’s there, stiff as hell, trying not to stare at the slope of Nunew’s nose or how his lips were slightly parted while he read and trying to ignore how he can smell the faint sweet scent of his shampoo. 

He could feel his heart trying to escape his ribcage, shit, calm down. He tries to calm himself, afraid that Nunew would hear his frantic heartbeat and think that he’s dying, think calm thoughts, Pruk. It’s just Nunew. Act normal.

“That… actually makes sense,” Nunew says, voice soft. And then, God help Zee, his lips curved into a smile as he leaned back to his own seat.

Zee blinks and pinches his arm under the table. Hard. Shit. Am I in heaven? Did he just smile at me?

He straightens in his seat, blinking fast and eyes snapping back to the screen trying to ignore how warm his ears and chest feel and how clammy his hands are.

“P’Zee,” Nunew’s voice cuts in, soft but firm. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

“You’ve been staring at the same slide for three minutes.”

Zee forces a laugh,”Just… zoning out. Sorry.” He clears his throat, praying his voice won’t crack, “Anyway, um–this part here, maybe we can adjust the layout a bit? So it flows better.”

Nunew leans in again to look. Not as close as earlier, Zee thanks the heaven, but still close enough to make his heart want to jump out his chest.

—

They worked for another hour, Zee finally managed to stop zoning out and staring, Nunew stopped glancing at the clock every ten minutes (the cheesecake he munched on the whole time definitely helped), and for the first time since getting paired up, they actually finished more than what was on their to do list.

As they packed up, Nunew stood and slung his bag over his shoulder, pausing as he glanced towards Zee.

“P’Zee, you’re heading out too?”

Zee blinked, “Yeah. You done?”

“I’ll walk with you.”

Zee almost choked on air. It’s not a big deal. It’s just walking. But he had to mentally coach himself not to trip over his own feet as they stepped out of the cafe together.

They walked side by side in the streets, Nunew didn’t say much, but he wasn’t bristling with discomfort anymore either. Zee stole a glance at him, can't ignore how pretty he looks beside him, how the golden hour light hit the soft edge of his face, how the breeze ruffled the ends of his golden brown hair. He didn’t look mad, he didn’t even look like he hated Zee’s guts anymore. Progress.

“Thanks for your input earlier,” Nunew said, still looking ahead. “You explain things clearly. Makes it easier to follow.”

Zee turned his head back ahead, surprised and scared that he would be caught staring, again. “Oh–thanks. I mean… I’m glad it helps.”

“And… for the cheesecake. It was good.”

Zee’s lips tugged into a smile before he could stop it. “Anytime.”

When they reached the bus stop, the sky now streaked with soft pink and orange. Nunew slowed down, then looked up at Zee, he was hesitant but not cold.

“See you next time, P’Zee.”

“Yeah. See you, Nong Nunew,” he felt warmth bloom in his chest.

He stood there for a moment, watching Nunew walk away and the distance between them grow, not trying to stop the stupid grin creeping onto his face anymore.

—

“You what?!” Nat’s voice echoed in the room. It was already late at night, both of them were already curled up in their beds. Nat was scrolling through his phone, legs tangled in a blanket, while Nunew lay on his stomach, chin propped up on a pillow, absentmindedly doodling on his tablet.

“You’re telling me you walked together? As in, in the same direction, side by side? And you didn’t strangle him?” Nat threw his phone aside, more interested in his best friend’s development with his enemy.

Nunew huffed. “I’m not that violent.”

“Didn’t you just tweet about throwing him off a roof last week?”

“...That was a joke. And I was just being polite earlier. I just thanked him for the cheesecake”

“You thanked him? You accepted food from him?!” Nat gasped like he just heard the biggest scandal of the year. “What did he do, bribe you?”

Nunew rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were turning red, “No. He just…offered. Same with the macarons last week. It was in a cute little box and everything.”

Nat stared. “Okay. But… you ate it?”

“I didn’t say I ate it,” Nunew muttered.

“Jelly, you so ate it.”

“I was hungry! And it was good!”

Nat laughed, loud and delighted at the chance to tease his best friend. “Gosh, you like him, don’t you?”

Nunew made a strangled noise and buried his face into his pillow. He knows he can’t lie to his best friend, but there are things he doesn’t want to admit either, not even to himself. “I don’t! He’s just… not as annoying lately.”

“Suuure. So are you finally going to unblock him?” Nat wiggled his eyebrows, not letting Nunew get away from his teasing.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t deserve that yet.”

Nat rolled his eyes. “Okay, sure. But why are you blushing right now, huh?”

“I’m not blushing.”

“Right,” Nat said, grinning. “That’s why your face is as red as a tomato now.”

Nunew groaned and threw a pillow at his best friend, an attempt to hide his warm face. “I hate you.”

“You love me. Almost as much as you don’t hate P’Zee anymore.”

“JELLY!”

—

Zee’s already showered and tucked under his blanket, his arm thrown over his eyes, trying not to let the memory of a certain boy’s smile rerun in his head for the hundredth time. And of course, he fails miserably.

It’s not even the first time for him to see Nunew smile. He’s already seen it across the hallway, the field, he’s seen it when he was talking to his blockmates, when he was petting and talking to a stray cat outside their building, he’s seen it being directed to everyone else. But now… it’s different. He smiled at him. And damn was it the prettiest smile he’s ever been given.

Zee smashes his head against his pillow and groans.

He grabs his phone, opens Twitter, and switches to his public account, the one Nunew still has blocked. He knows it’s pathetic and stupid. But still, there’s a part of him that hopes, hopes that maybe Nunew doesn’t hate him as much anymore. It’s pathetic, but he still checks anyway.

You’re blocked from following @nunuwhines.

He sighs, thumb pausing before going back to his feed and scrolling. A tweet from Nat caught his eye.

@natnatnatnat

10:24 PM · Aug 4

Guess who’s getting all soft now over the guy he swore he couldnt stand 👀

🔁 3 ❤️ 14

💬 @max.exe

Are we exposing Nong Nunew now?

Zee freezes, his heart stuttering. This has to be about him, right? Who else would it be? Unless there are other guys Nunew can’t stand. 

He switches to his private account, just to see if there’s more. But Nunew’s account is quiet, no new posts.

He sighs and tosses his phone aside, hands rubbing his face frustratingly. Is he really getting soft on me now? Is it wrong to hope that he really is? He threw his arm over his face again. It’s going to be a long night.

Chapter Text

The rain is beating hard against the windows, blurring the sound of the city outside. Inside the cafe, a comfortable atmosphere is around them, their table cluttered with iced drinks and crumpled napkins. It’s been almost an hour since they got here, Nunew arriving just five minutes late this time.

Zee glances at the time. An hour and a half left until his own assignment’s deadline. He doesn’t mention it, he can just cram it after their meeting anyway. 

The silence between them isn’t tense anymore, just focused, and a little sleepy from the sound of the rain. 

Nunew is flipping through his printed copy of their draft, red pen in hand and lips pursed in concentration. He doesn’t glance up from the paper as he scoops another bite of strawberry shortcake into his mouth, the one Zee handed him earlier with barely a word, just slid across the table like it was already a normal occurrence for them. Nunew couldn’t help but do a small shoulder dance as the sweetness of the cake seeps into his tongue.

Zee, on the other hand, has stopped pretending to focus, letting himself indulge in the guilty pleasure of staring at the pretty man in front of him, clearly enjoying the dessert he’s given him. There’s cream at the corner of Nunew’s mouth, just a small smudge, right at the edge and he doesn’t seem to notice.

He swallows hard. Shit . He tears his gaze away, suddenly interested in adjusting the brightness of his barely dead laptop, but he couldn’t stop his mouth from betraying him.

“You,uh… got something.”

Nunew looks up, surprised. “Huh?”

Zee gestures vaguely to his own face. “Right there. There’s cream.”

Nunew’s hand flies up to wipe it, completely missing the right spot.

“No…other side,” Zee says, and before he can think better of it and use his self-control like the man he is, he reaches forward and… wipes it for him, with a quick swipe of his thumb.

Both of them freeze, their eyes meeting for a second too long.

“Uh– thanks,” Nunew says, his voice tight and gaze dropping back to the paper like nothing happened. He could pretend that it was nothing, but his red cheeks and ears are quick to betray him.

Zee leans back slightly, pretending to stretch and trying to hide his inner turmoil. What the fuck, Zee. Are you in your right mind? What did you just do?

“P’Zee,” Nunew pulled him back from his thoughts, gesturing to the paper he’s holding, “this part needs rewording. Can we change it later?”

Zee blinks back to life. “Yeah. Of course.”

The sound of Nunew’s ringtone made them both flinch, the phone screen lighting up beside the coffee mug. Nunew glances at the screen, then immediately picks it up when he sees Nat’s name flashing. “Hello?”

“Nu–are you still out?” Nat’s voice is tight and panicked, like he didn’t know what to do and is about to cry.

Nunew straightens in his seat, all traces of teasing wiped from his face. “Yeah, why? What’s wrong?”

“It’s July. I think something’s wrong with her, she’s been vomiting since this morning, and now he won’t eat or move from under your bed. I tried calling the vet but they’re asking for you since you’re the registered owner.”

Nunew’s heart almost drops to his feet. “Okay, okay, calm down, Jelly. I’ll be there soon.” 

Zee’s eyes lift from his laptop, concern flicking across his face as he watches Nunew scramble to gather his things. “Everything okay?” he asks quietly.

“No,” Nunew mutters, slipping his phone into his pocket. “My cat’s sick, I need to go. Can we continue this tomorrow? Same time and place. I’m really sorry, P’Zee.” His voice is drowned in apprehension.

Zee nods without hesitation, his heart breaking silently at the sight of Nunew being anxious. “Of course, don’t worry about me.”

Nunew glances at the window and sighs at the downpour, out of all the days he could forget his umbrella, why did it have to be today? His shoulders drooped and head dropped, when he suddenly saw an umbrella being slid across the table.

“Take mine.”

“But–”

“I’ll just wait here until the rain slows down,” Zee lies smoothly, already pressing the umbrella into Nunew’s hands. “Just go.”

Nunew hesitates for a while, but the thought of July brings him back to urgency. “Thanks,” he mumbled before running out the door, his heart racing for two different reasons.

—

The moment the door swings shut behind Nunew, Zee exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He watches the rain blur the glass, the umbrella in Nunew’s hand already bobbing down the street.

He sinks back into his chair for a second before checking the time again. 45 minutes. That’s all he has before his assignment is due. He reaches for his laptop, blinking as the screen stays black, he taps the power button, but nothing happens. Really? You just had to die on me right now?

He glances at the wall sockets, and it’s all taken, and even if they weren’t, he doesn’t have a charger anyway. He just really had to forget it today. “Damn,” he mutters under his breath.

His dorm is fifteen minutes away, twenty if the rain slows him down, thirty if he slips and dies dramatically on the pavement. He decides, it’s not like running in the rain would kill him, to grab his things in one swift motion and bolt outside.

By the time he stumbles into his dorm, drenched and shivering, he barely manages to plug in his laptop and finish and upload his file before his vision tunnels and his body collapses without even changing his clothes. Everything aches, but he’ll just have to deal with it later.

—

Nunew got to the cafe ten minutes earlier than usual. It smelled like hot chocolate and cheesecake, warm and familiar, it reminded him of a certain someone, tall, handsome, with muscular bice– Get a grip, Nhu!

He mentally slapped himself as he sat on their usual table. He glanced outside, watching the soft drizzle of the rain hit the cold pavement. The umbrella Zee lent him rested on the table, he hadn’t even used it that much yesterday, just spent the whole bus ride hugging it to his chest even if it was drenched.

Yesterday, by the time he got home from the vet, July was curled up in his lap, drowsy from his injection and refused to let Nunew leave her side. He was glad she was okay, the vet said that it might be a bad reaction from something she’d eaten, but that she was okay after some tests and an injection.

That night, Nunew felt something heavy in his chest, not because of July’s situation, but something entirely different. He looked at his phone and went to Twitter, searching the username of the guy he swore he’d never unblock. The one that irritated him, confused him, softened him all in the span of a few weeks.

His thumb hovered over the button for minutes, contemplating if this is the right thing to do. Then, after a few exhales, he unblocked him. He didn’t think, just typed:

“Thanks for the umbrella, P’Zee. Sorry again for leaving early”

Zee never replied.

The sound of the bell chiming brought Nunew back to the present. He glanced at the door expectantly, only to be met with disappointment. He’s still not here. He checked the time. 1:58 PM

He pulled out his printed draft, flipping to the page where they stopped yesterday. Their presentation draft was half-finished, he even brought an extra pen, the same kind Zee used.

2:00 PM. He took a sip of his hot chocolate.

2:08 PM. No sign of him.

He tapped his foot, tried to focus on the paper, reading the same sentence three times. He checked his phone, no messages.

2:24 PM. Still nothing.

He tried not to feel anything. Really, he did. But he can’t help the sour feeling blooming in his chest. Something like disappointment, or worse, recognition. Like deja vu, because Nunew could swear he had heard this story before.

Nat, crying into his arms after Zee ghosted him. And now here Nunew was, holding Zee’s stupid umbrella, trying not to feel stupid himself.

2:45 PM. He packed up his things, hands tight and mouth tighter, chest heavy.

Believe him, he didn’t want to care. It’s not like he expected better from him, he knows firsthand that this was bound to happen. He can’t help but blame himself for being gullible, for trusting the guy so easily. He didn’t want to care, but he walked a little too fast on the way home, slammed the umbrella into its place by the door, and threw himself on his bed like it wronged him.

By 3:20 PM, he was on Twitter, searching the same username he did last night. And didn’t hesitate to click the block button again.

—

Nunew’s phone buzzed while he was face-first in a pillow, still fully dressed and still absolutely determined to never feel anything again. Especially for that certain guy who stood him up.

P'Max [3:57PM]: Hey, sorry to bother you but I really have no one else to reach out now

P'Max [3:58PM]: Someone from our floor said Zee was sick

Nunew frowned at the message. Thoughts and worries already drowning in his mind without control. Why is he sick? What happened to him? Why didn’t he tell me anything?  

Nunew [3:59PM]: What? What happened to him?

P'Max [4:01PM]: She said the door to our room was cracked open 

P'Max [4:01PM]: She found Zee inside drenched and asleep on his bed

P'Max [4:02PM]: He looked really out of it

P'Max [4:03PM]: She gave him meds and locked the door for me

Nunew sat up, trying to piece together what happened yesterday. He was drenched? Then it came clear to him. He was drenched because he gave Nunew his umbrella. He’s an idiot.

P'Max [4:04PM]: I tried calling him but he won’t pick up, I think his phone is dead

P'Max [4:04PM]: And Im still out of town til late

P'Max [4:05PM]: Can you maybe check on him? Sorry to ask this

He didn’t even realize he was already standing.

—

The umbrella Zee lent him was dripping by the time he got to the dorm entrance. “Fifth floor,” he muttered under his breath, taking the stairs two at a time. 

Max had sent him the code to their door earlier. When he reached it, he felt himself hesitating, hand hovering over the keypad with trembling fingers. Why am I nervous? It’s just checking up on a sick friend. Wait… friend?

The door unlocked with a soft beep.

It was quiet inside, save for the gentle hum of the air-conditioning and the distant patter of rain against the window. The lights were off, but there was enough light leaking from the sky outside to see everything.

Zee was curled up in his bed, exactly as Max said, the blanket barely covering him. His hair is still damp, and his face pale and flushed. He looked so… small and vulnerable. How can I hate him when he’s like this?

Nunew placed the bag of essentials he bought, medicine, porridge, bottled water, on the desk and approached the bed quietly.

“P’Zee?” he whispered.

He moved closer, hesitating for a moment before gently placing a hand on Zee’s forehead. It was hot, burning hot. He couldn’t help but feel frustrated. “Y-you idiot,” Nunew muttered, voice cracking a bit as he grabbed a towel from the drawer, guessing which side was Max’s by the mess. He dampened it in their sink, sat beside the bed, and gently pressed it to Zee’s forehead.

Zee stirred. “Max…?” he mumbled, voice barely a breath.

“No, it’s– it’s me. It’s Nunew.”

His eyes didn’t open, but his breathing slowed, like he recognized the name even in fevered haze and felt relaxed by it.

Nunew stayed like that for a while, sitting beside Zee and watching the rise and fall of his chest. He didn’t know what to feel, too many emotions surging inside him. Anger, sadness, worry, stupidness… guilt. He didn’t know when he started whispering.

“You could’ve just said something…”

“I wouldn’t have been this mad, you know?’

“I was so mad you didn’t show up, I thought you really stood me up.”

Pause.

“I thought you ghosted me. Like Nat.”

His voice cracked at the end, he can’t stop the overwhelming feeling rising to his chest.

“But you didn’t,” he added softly, adjusting the towel on Zee’s forehead. “You’re just… you’re just an idiot.” He glanced at Zee’s sleeping face, eyes soft. His voice dropped lower and softer, “… It’s getting harder for me to hate you.”

He looked at him for a few seconds, as if waiting for a reaction, but Zee didn’t move, not even a twitch. So Nunew stood up and walked away, going back to the desk where he busied himself with unpacking the porridge container, acting like he didn’t just spill his whole heart a while ago.

But what he didn’t know, what he couldn’t know, was that Zee heard it all .

—

Zee stirred again, slower this time, eyes fluttering open to the blurry shape of someone across the room. His throat felt like sandpaper, and everything in his body hurt, but he managed a weak, hoarse whisper. 

“... Nong Nunew?”

Nunew turned around so fast the spoon he was holding clattered back into the porridge cup. “You’re awake!” he said, hurrying to his side.

Zee blinks at him, trying to sit up. “What time is it?”

“Don’t move too much,” Nunew scolded quietly, propping him up with a pillow. “It’s late afternoon. You’ve been sleeping all day.”

“And you’re… here? Why?” Zee’s eyes searches his face, confused. Why would he be here taking care of me? When did he suddenly care?

“Yeah,” Nunew says softly, avoiding his gaze, “P’Max messaged me, someone said you were sick. He won’t be home ‘til later tonight.”

Zee nods slowly, “Right. I forgot to charge my phone. And… the rain… I didn’t think it would make me this sick.” His voice is filled with guilt, suddenly remembering that they had plans today. “Shit,” he mumbles, “did you wait for me earlier?”

“It’s okay, P’. I didn’t know you were sick so I still went there,” Nunew reassures him. “And I’m sorry, P’Zee… it’s my fault you got sick. If only I brought my umbrella yesterday, you wouldn’t have to go through the rain…” his shoulders dropped, voice turning more quiet with each word.

Zee shakes his head, a faint frown tugging at his brows. “Don’t say that. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But I–” Nunew starts, lips pressed into a line.

“You didn’t,” Zee says firmly, though his voice was still weak. “I was the one who told you to take it. I would’ve felt worse if it was you who had to go through the rain.” My heart won’t be able to take it if you get hurt.

Nunew stares at him, hands clenched into the hem of his shirt. The guilt in his chest refused to fade even with Zee’s reassuring words. “Still, you got sick. And you didn’t even tell me.”

Zee didn’t respond right away, his eyes dropping to his lap as he find the right words to say that wouldn’t scare the younger away. “I didn’t think you’d care,” he says finally, still worried that he said the wrong words.

The silence that followed was heavier than expected. Nunew swallows, “...I didn’t think I’d care either.”

He didn’t look at Zee when he said it, he just grabs the porridge again and scoops a spoonful, blowing on it gently. “Eat this, before it gets cold.”

Zee smiles for a while before opening his mouth, letting himself be fed like a child. His eyes never left Nunew, mesmerized by how pretty he looks doing such mundane things, like feeding the guy he hates the most.

After a few more spoonfuls, Nunew set the bowl down, brushing some damp strands away from Zee’s forehead. “You still feel warm,” he murmurs. “Finish the porridge, then medicine.”

“Thank you, Nhu. For going here, and for taking care of me.”

Nunew jolted a bit with the nickname, surprised by the lack of formality and how naturally it rolled off the older’s tongue. I like how it sounds.

“Anytime,” he says softly.

—

Zee sat up in bed, the warmth of the porridge (and Nunew’s presence) still lingering in his chest. His voice was steadier now, he already feels better than he did earlier this afternoon. He silently watches Nunew tidying the empty containers, avoiding his gaze.

“You’re not staying?” Zee asks, trying to mask his disappointment.

Nunew shakes his head, offering a small smile. “I can’t. July’s still recovering and Nat’s still in class. There’s no one in the dorm to keep an eye on her.”

“Right,” Zee says, throat tightening. “Your cat.”

“My daughter,” Nunew corrects with a soft giggle. “I’ll head out after I clean this up,” he added, already reaching out for the trash. 

Zee wanted to say something. Anything. He wanted to be a bit selfish and ask him to stay a bit longer, or apologize again, or tell him how thankful he is for everything. But all he could do was nod. He couldn’t muster up the courage to say anything, afraid that he would mess things up between them again.

He looked up just as Nunew grabbed his bag, pausing by the door. “Get some rest,” Nunew said softly, one hand already on the knob. “Text me… when you wake up or something. I’ll ask P’Max to send you my number."

Zee nodded again, a stupid grin creeping up his face again. “I will.”

The door clicked shut behind him. 

Zee leaned back, staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t know if he deserves to feel this light, not after how messy everything has been. But he can’t stop the crippling hope growing in his chest, can’t stop his mind from ringing with the words he wasn’t supposed to hear earlier. It’s getting harder for me to hate you.

—

Zee lay back against his pillows, freshly showered and finally starting to feel like a normal human again. He reached for his phone, finally charged after being dead the whole day, and watched as the lockscreen lit up with missed notifications. Mostly from group chats, some from Max, a few random ones from his classmates. He scrolled absently until something unfamiliar made him pause.

A message, from a username he never had a notification from before.

@nunuwhines

“Thanks for the umbrella, P’Zee. Sorry again for leaving early”

Zee stared at it, unmoving. The timestamp read last night, he never saw it, his phone dead by then, and blocked before that. So… it only means that Nunew unblocked him again just earlier. That thought alone made his chest feel tight, but not in the same painful way it used to. 

Below the notification was a message from Max, sent just a few minutes ago.

Max [8:24PM]: By the way, Nunew said you can have his number

Max [8:24PM]: Don’t be annoying

Max [8:25PM]: And don’t fuck this up again bro

Max [8:26PM]: Phone number attached

Zee huffed a laugh through his nose, shaking his head. He didn’t say anything, didn’t reply to anyone yet. For a while, he just let himself bask in happiness, smiling at his screen like a lovesick idiot.

It’s safe to say that he fell asleep with a smile that night.

Chapter Text

Don’t ask Nunew why he went to their meeting place ten minutes early for the second time. For one (1), he’s just being a courteous human being who doesn’t want to make other people wait for him. For two (2), he wanted to make sure he got a seat with a good plug socket. And for three (3), the most important reason, it’s none of your business! He’s just trying to be nicer, okay? He’s already feeling guilty with how often he appeared late during their first meetings.

He slows down once the cafe comes into view, pretending like he’s just casually strolling by. Oh, he’s totally just a normal college student going to a normal academic meeting with a normal academic partner who definitely didn’t lend him an umbrella and catch a fever and made his heart do some flips days ago. Ugh .

He wipes his palms on his pants before pushing the door open, only to immediately halt in his tracks.

Zee is already there.

What the hell? Nunew thinks as he stares at him. He was supposed to be the early one! How dare Zee one-up him at his own game?

Zee doesn’t notice him at first. He’s still busy trying to find a natural pose and totally does not look like he’s about to shit himself. They’ve done this for weeks now, why is he still feeling so anxious? I really need to man up , he thinks.

Nunew scans him as he slowly walks to their table. Yes, it’s their table now. He’s sitting by the window, iced Americano in hand, his laptop open in front of him and–

Wait.

Glasses?

Nunew does a double take. Zee’s wearing silver-rimmed glasses now. It throws him off for a second, and he’s definitely not thinking about how hot and sexy he looks. Since when did he start wearing glasses…? Maybe he only wears them when he just got out of a fever? Or maybe he’s just trying to look smart and mature or whatever. Wait.. why am I thinking too much? He thinks before mentally slapping himself back to reality.

He strides over and stops by the table, tablet hugged to his chest.

“Hi,” he says stiffly, sliding into the chair. “Sorry. I–uh. Am early.” Why am I stuttering?!  

Zee straightens up so fast he knocks his knee against the table. “Ow–I mean–hey. Yeah. Me too. I just got here.” (He’s lying. He’s been here for twenty-five minutes.)

Nunew raises a brow but lets it go. “You’re wearing glasses now?”

“Oh.” Zee fiddles with the frame. Fuck, he noticed. “Yeah. For…reading. I forgot my contacts.” (Another lie. He spent fifteen minutes contemplating if glasses made him more approachable and hot or pretentious.)

“They suit you,” Nunew says, before he can stop his mouth. Then his brain catches up. “I mean–they’re fine. You look like…someone who reads.” What am I saying?! And–oh, why is my face getting hot?!

Zee blinks. “Uh–thanks?” Did he just compliment me????

Nunew finally opens his tablet and starts typing away, his cheeks and ears a little pink. Cute, Zee thinks subconsciously. Focus, Zee. He grips his coffee, staring at Nunew before quickly looking away, his heartbeat getting a bit too frantic. “So, um. Shall we…continue?”

Nunew nods. “Yes, P’Zee.”

Zee winces. The P’Zee thing always sounds like a punch to the gut. It’s too formal, too distant, too polite. He wishes Nunew would call him something else, like maybe baby, or love, or teerak– He mentally shakes his head. That’s too much.

The awkward silence that follows is so thick it could be chopped into cubes and served at a buffet. But Nunew refuses to speak again, he’s busy ignoring the fact that his heart is doing annoying little skips every time Zee shifts in his seat. God. Why does he smell so good? 

After about thirty minutes of working quietly, with just some occasional checking up on each other’s work, Nunew feels his eyes being strained. He;s just about to suggest a break when his phone suddenly buzzes on the table.

Jelly 🍮: [2:39PM] Sorry, Jelly :( Me and P’Max won’t be back till later tonight

Jelly 🍮: [2:39PM] We’re at P’Max’s cousin’s bday

Jelly 🍮: [2:40PM] No one’s at the dorm to check up on July and give her meds

He loves Nat. He really does. But sometimes his timing is really just so… diabolical.

It's been days since July was taken to the vet, but her meds were prescribed to be taken for 2 weeks. The vet also advised him to look after her in case the symptoms resurface.

Nunew exhales sharply through his nose and contemplates:

1. They can just continue this some other time. Maybe not tomorrow, he has another group project and won’t have the time to meet him. Maybe also not the day after that, he has a paper to finish. And not also the day after that, and the next day after that. 
2. They can just wait for their usual meet up next week. But then…they’ll be cramming. It’s already two weeks before the presentation. And they haven’t even made a script yet, which means they’ll end up doing everything last minute. Which means he’ll have to spend extra time with him. Hell no.
3. They can just do the project at Nunew’s dorm. This sounds really logical and efficient and reasonable. But then… he can’t have Zee in his room! Letting him in there feels…invasive and awkward. What if Zee judges his Hello Kitty humidifier? What if he sits on his bed? What if he breathes the same air as July?????

Nunew frowns harder.

Zee, completely unaware of Nunew’s existential crisis, is quietly sipping on his drink and pretending he’s not glancing at Nunew every five seconds. His hair looks a bit more silky today. I wonder how soft it will feel beneath my hands– Fuck. I'm being a creep again.

Finally, Nunew decides that he’s a mature, sensible grown man. “Sorry, P’Zee,” he starts, tone polite and tight. “We might need to…relocate.”

Zee straightens a little. “Oh? Why?”

Nunew avoids meeting his eyes. “Nat won’t be back until tonight… I need to check on July and give her meds.”

Zee nods. “Right. That makes sense. We can reschedule—”

“No,” Nunew cuts in a bit quickly, his cheeks turning a bit more pink. “I mean… we should continue. We don’t have much time left. If it’s okay with you…we can work at my dorm for now.”

“Your dorm?” Zee blinks. Is he actually inviting me… in?

“Yes.”

“Your…actual dorm room?”

Nunew inhales deeply. “Yes, P’. Where I live.”

Zee opens his mouth, then closes it. “Okay,” he says; trying and failing to sound casual. “Cool. Okay, it’s okay with me.” Cool. I’m totally not freaking out right now. It’s just his dorm, it’s just where he lives, the one with his bed and his pillow and– Holy shit. Don’t make it weird, Pruk.

(In all honesty, they had the option to continue their project over Zoom and email, but that would require brains. And why make smart logical choices when you’re both catastrophically stupid and a little bit (denially) in love? Let's just give them that haha.)

—

Zee follows behind Nunew like a very large, very confused husky as they walk out of the cafe. It feels really awkward, he can’t stop feeling anxious and hyper-aware that he might trip on air and fall on the pavement face-first. They reach the bus stop shortly after, Zee thinks of how domestic it is to sit with each other in the bus, but that’s really just his stupid in love brain talking.

Nunew, on the other hand, is already regretting everything he did that led up to this moment. He regrets offering his dorm. He regrets being born. He regrets not cleaning up this morning. Oh my god, did I clean up my laundry earlier?

By the time they get to the dorm, Zee’s already cycled through seven different mental crashouts about what the inside of Nunew’s room might look like. He imagines pink bedsheets, plushies, maybe a desk cluttered with pastel pens. And it’s exactly how he expected it.

Inside, the room is neat but homey and lived-in. Nat’s side is stacked with skincare and a giant Totoro plush. Nunew’s side has color-coded folders, a sleepy cat plushie on his bed, and a little succulent on the windowsill. There's also a Hello Kitty humidifier on his desk, and Zee finds it really adorable. A grey cat, July, is curled up on a cat bed beside his bed.

“You can sit on the floor,” Nunew says. “I’ll just get July to drink her meds.”

Zee nods, standing awkwardly by the door. His eyes flick to the cat, she's licking her paw and vaguely judging him. He carefully walks over and lowers himself on the floor near the small rug, his bag still on, not knowing whether to take it off or not. Be normal, Pruk. Don’t think too much.

Nunew crouches down by July’s bed and gently scratches behind her ears. He offers a small syringe of medicine, which she begrudgingly laps at after a bit of coaxing. “She’s been good lately,” he murmurs. “Didn’t scratch me this time.”

Zee doesn’t know if he’s supposed to respond to that, so he just hums softly.

Nunew turns slightly, glancing over his shoulder to check on Zee only to find him already staring at him. His hands are on his knees and his bag still on. He's so cute– What???

“...You can take off your bag,” Nunew says.

“Oh–right. Yeah.” Zee fumbles with the strap, cursing under his breath as it catches on the hem of his shirt and pulls it slightly up. He quickly tugs it back down and hopes that Nunew didn’t see the flash of his skin. 

Thump thump

Nunew turns back around a little too fast, his heart doing flips. Oh my god. Oh my god. Calm down. It's just abs, Nhu. Calm down. He busies himself with wiping the tip of the syringe before standing up and pputting the medicine back to the drawer. He can feel his face burning. He's just a guy, Nhu. This is normal.

Clearing his throat, he fetches his tablet from his bag on his desk and plops down the floor across Zee, who's already fiddling with his laptop.

“Where were we again?” Nunew asks while turning his tablet on. He made the mistake to glance up again because when he did, Zee already had his sleeves rolled up, flexing his stupid forearms and biceps without trying. What the hell? Where does he think he is, the gym?? Nunew screams internally.

“We're about to start the presentation script,” Zee says, eyes flicking up from his laptop. Why is his face so red? He's so cute. 

“Uh–okay,” Nunew mumbles, mentally slapping himself for stuttering. Why am I being so weird?! 

Nunew bites on the inside of his cheeks and looks down, refusing to look at Zee again. Do not look. Do not think. Don't think about his glasses. Don't think about his muscles. You hate him, Nhu. You hate him.

Zee clears his throat too loudy, making Nunew flinch. He glanced at him for a second just in time to catch Zee stretching.

It was just a casual stretch, arms going over his head. But his shirt lifts, revealing more of his chiseled abs and his biceps flex even more than earlier. 

Abs. Biceps. Nunew's brain short-circuits.

“Oh my god ,” he blurts way too loud. His face is so sooo red, and he swears he can feel his heart almost drooling over the sight of the man in front of him.

Zee blinks. “Huh?”

“Huh?” Nunew asks back, too flustered to think of an excuse. “Uh–nothing. Uhm… do you want water? Yes, water. I'll just get some. Uh–yes.” He fumbles his way up to the kitchen, his knees buckling. 

Oh my god. What the hell was that?!

As soon as Nunew disappears into the kitchen, Zee finally lets out a smirk he’s been holding since earlier. He leans back on his palms, looking at the ceiling. “...That’s one point for me,” he whispers.

He’s very much aware of how hot he is, okay? After all, his hours spent at the gym daily weren’t for nothing. He knows that it definitely affected Nunew, but he just can’t help but tease him! The way he gets flustered and turns red is just too cute for Zee to stop messing with him.

He exhales and runs a hand through his hair. He can’t wipe the stupid grin off his face again. Damn. I’m really losing my shit now.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Nunew has his head inside the fridge, completely losing it while whisper-screaming at himself. 

“What the hell. What the hell. No, no, Nhu. You hate him, remember? Think about Nat. Remember what he did? Yes, that’s it. Don’t look at his arms– NO –stop thinking about his arms!”

He grabs a water bottle and clutches it. “Okay. Inhale. Exhale. You’re fine.You can do this. Let’s just get over this!”

When he walks back to the room, he makes it a mission to not be distracted anymore. He drops back down to the floor again, putting the water bottle in front of Zee without a word. We really need to focus now.

They finally got to focus on finishing their script, but not without taking occasional glances at each other. It took them one hour and a half more before they packed it up and Nunew walked Zee to the door. 

And even when Zee already slipped out the door, Nunew still couldn’t shake the thought of how attractive and hot Zee looked earlier. 

He really needs a cold shower.

Across the room, July lifts her head from her bed.

What Zee and Nunew don’t know is that July has been eyeing them from the start.

Her tail twitches slowly, before she licks her paw. 

Both of them are such idiots. The tall one keeps flexing his muscles like he’s an alpha in a rut. And my human? He looks like he’s about to explode with how red he is. I’m sick of watching them, next time I’m tripping one of them into the other. God, that was tiring to watch. I really need more treats after this.

She yawns, then closes her eyes.

—

It's already been days since Zee was in Nunew's dorm. He doesn't tell Nat about it, gosh he already knows just how much he'll be teased if he knew. But still, whenever he closes his eyes, Zee's image flashes on his mind. His face, his glasses, his smell, his biceps, his ab– Gosh, don't even remind me anymore!

Now, the whole gang’s present. Which is to say: Nunew, Nat, Yim, and James are crammed into the dorm half-sitting on beds, half-sprawled across the floor, and very much not studying like they said they would.

“So,” Yim says without looking up. “Let’s go out for a drink?”

“No,” Nunew replies instantly.

“So let’s go out,” Yim nods and confirms, already standing up to steal clothes from Nunew’s closet.

“I said no.”

James glances up. “Too bad, because we already pre-booked a Grab.”

“You what ?”

“The driver’s name is Pond and he says he’s almost here,” Nat adds, deadpan.

“What?! We haven’t even changed yet! We were supposed to be studying!” Nunew groans, letting his head fall on his pillow with a thump .

“Exactly. And you’ve studied enough. It's time to chill!” Yim says cheerfully, tossing him a shirt that’s definitely not his. Where did he get this?

“No. I’m not going. You guys can do whatever you want, but I’m staying right here and–.”

“Too bad,” James interrupts him, already dragging him by the ankles off the bed. “We’re all going.”

“Let go of me!” Nunew yelps, clinging to his pillows. “You’re all insane.”

“Yes,” Nat agrees, “But you’re insane too. That’s why we’re friends. 

“I’m not as insane as you all are,” Nunew crosses his arms and pouts. “Also, don’t you guys have other plans tomorrow?”

“It’s Saturday tomorrow, New,” Yim coaxes him. “Who makes plans on Saturday?”

“I do!” Nunew argues. They’re really not letting me be in peace huh? “I planned on cuddling with July all day.”

“Come on, Jelly!” Nat grasps his shoulders and shakes him. “It’s not often we get to hang out like this. Let’s just have fuuuun!”

“Fine,” Nunew finally gives up, deciding that he can’t win against three people teaming up against him. Ugh, I was planning to binge watch tonight! But… maybe I can use this time to get that certain someone off my mind. “I hate you all.” 

—

Nat [10:24PM]: P’, you better keep P’Zee distracted! 

Nat [10:24PM]: We’re 10 mins away

Max: [10:27PM]: Don’t worry, Nong. I got this

Nat: [10:29PM]: Good, don’t let him roam around too

Nat [10:29PM]: Nunew’s gonna bail if he sees him too early 5555

Max: 10:31PM]: Yes, babe

Max [10:31PM]: We’ll make sure this plan will work

Max [10:31PM]: Take care, okay? xx

—

They weren’t supposed to drink this much.

At least, that’s what Nunew tells himself as he takes another sip of whatever cocktail James shoved into his hand twenty minutes ago. He’s in a haze now, his vision getting blurry and the floor is spinning beneath his feet.

Their table’s in a dim corner of the club, far away from the crowd, the bar, and unbeknownst to Nunew, from Max’s group. He’s just sipping and sulking in peace for now, but he’s really really wasted now. Like wasted wasted.

Someone’s arm is looped around his waist to steady him, he doesn’t know if it’s Nat or Yim or James, he couldn’t care less right now. “Le–let’s dance!” He wiggles away from the grasp and went his way to the dance floor. 

Yim’s voice rings somewhere behind him, but he ignores it. Tonight, he’s gonna be free and have his fun without worries! 

He sways under the lights, his head tipped back and his grin loose. The black satin button-up Yim threw at him earlier is now half-unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It was paired with high-waisted trousers that hugged his waist and hips just right. He could feel gazes on him as he continues moving to the beat, but he ignores everyone. Finally, some freedom!

It was until his eyes land on someone familiar. His eyes are already blurry, both from the alcohol and the blinding lights, but he still can make up some of the features of the guy. He’s tall, in a tight black shirt that hugs his arms really nice, and the line of his jaw is lit red by the lights. Wait… is that.. who I think it is? Why the hell is he here?

He’s standing near the railing while there’s a girl talking to him and laughing. She’s so close and too friendly. Why is she touching P’Zee’s arm? And why is he smiling at her? Why?

Nunew stares at them, feeling something inside him coil. He doesn’t know why, but his stomach is lurching and his hands are clenching and his jaw is tightening and– His legs move before he gets to process what’s happening to him.

“Nu–! Hey, where–!” James tries to grabs for him but misses. Shit , he thinks, I shouldn’t have looked away from him! 

James comes after him, but Nunew’s already pushing through the crowd, eyes locked in on the hand on Zee’s arms. He glances at Zee’s smile again, and then the hand, and then the girl, and back at Zee. And without making an effort to use any sensible part of his brain–

He shoves Zee. Really hard, by the way.

“What the–” Zee stumbles back, catching himself and the girl. “Nunew?” What? Why is he here?

“Y-you’re–” Nunew points a shaky finger at his chest. “Wh-What are you–why are you here ?”

Zee blinks. “I–what?”

“You–” Nunew’s eyes glass over, his body swaying a little as he jabs at the air. “W-What are you doing here? Are you–are you following me or what?! I’m try–I’m trying to get you off my mind, and y-you–” he hiccups. “you show up here.” He frowns and sniffs. “A-and–and you’re even letting that–that girl all over you! You’re laughing and letting her touch you-your arms!”

Zee opens his mouth, but Nunew cuts him up again. Is he… jealous?

“I saw you!” Nunew blurts, louder now, his face flushed red. “You didn’t even stop her! You just stood there– you just stood there a-and let her feel up your biceps like a pervert !”

Zee steps forward, as much as he’s endeared with how cute Nunew looks being jealous, he really looks like he’s about to stumble anytime soon. “Nhu, you’re drunk.”

“No–n-no, you–shut up–” Nunew flinches back. “You’re not–n-not allowed to be–” he hiccups again. “–to be hot right now. Stop being hot!”

The girl flirting with Zee earlier is frozen and wide-eyed, unsure if she’s interrupting something. She glances at Zee for a second before bolting off.

Nunew stares at Zee, furious and pink and he looks like he’s about to cry. “I–I’m trying to hate you.”

Zee’s face softens. And I’m trying not to fall for you even deeper.   

“I swear I–I try so hard,” Nunew slurs, he can’t help the tears spilling on his cheeks now. “I l-look at you and I remember how m-much you hurt my–my friend and it should be easy! I should hate you–” he wipes his face with the back of his hand, “but you keep being s-sweet and nice to me and it makes it so hard and I hate that I don’t hate you.”

Zee reaches out slowly, trying to wipe Nunew’s tears. “Let me take you home.”

“D-don’t touch me,” Nunew says, but he stumbles forward and straight into Zee’s chest. “Asshole.”

Zee wraps an arm around him anyway. “You–you smell so good,” Nunew mumbles under his breath. Zee just giggles at him.

By the time James catch up, Nunew’s already slurring into Zee’s shirt. He looks between them, panting. “P’Zee–shit. I’m sorry. He just–he saw you and–”

“It’s okay,” Zee says, eyes never leaving Nunew. “Go find your friends and you guys go with Max. I’ll get him back.”

“Are you sure?”

Zee nods. I’ve never been more sure, he thinks as he half-carries Nunew out of the club.

Just when Zee thought Nunew’s already too tired to fight, he starts flinching in his arms again. Nunew shoves his chest. “Don’t– don’t touch me!”

“Nunew,” Zee says, calm but firm. “You’re gonna fall.” God, he's burning up. Why did he drink so much?

“ I won't!” Nunew yells, right before tripping over absolutely nothing.

Zee catches him and pulls him upright. It's messy, limbs everywhere, Nunew is kicking his shin. Shit. Why is he so stubborn?

“I'm fine! ” Nunew slurs, pushing at him again. “You think just cause you're tall and and–and you have abs and biceps, you can just– catch me like I’m gonna–gonna faint in your arms?! No way!”

He slaps Zee’s chest weakly and clumsily.

“Let go of me! I can walk! I can do backflips! I don't need you–”

“Okay, you need to shut up ,” Zee mutters, just before frustratingly backing Nunew up against the wall of the hallway just outside the club. He presses one arm lightly across his chest to keep him steady. He can feel Nunew’s breath on his face. Stay calm, Pruk.

Nunew’s head thunks gently against the wall, eyes wide. “I said don't touch me!” he whines, shoving Zee’s arm. “Y-You're mean . You're ruining everything!”

“You're drunk,” Zee says. “And if I let go, you're gonna faceplant into the floor.

“I don't care!”

“You will when you break your nose.”

“I hate you,” Nunew huffs, voice cracking. God, he's crying again.

Zee stares down at him, his jaw clenching. “I know.”

“As you should! I hate you so much. I hate you for being here, for being my project partner, for always being nice when I don't want you to– and for making me wanna kiss you just cause you smell nice and your stupid arms are warm and strong and I HATE –”

He's breathless and flushed all over, tears running down his face and his hands clench Zee’s shirt like he wants to punch him and collapse into him at the same time.

Zee doesn’t say anything. He wants to kiss me??? Keep your cool, Zee. He's just drunk. After all the words Nunew spat at him, the only thing Zee’s brain can register is that Nunew wants to kiss him.

Nunew keeps babbling. “I'm trying , okay? I'm trying so hard not to like you. I practice h-hating your face on the mirror! But then you show up and smile and I just–I forget what I was mad about and it's unfair. ”

“Okay,” Zee murmurs, voice low and trying not to lose it himself. “Okay, let’s get you home.”

“Noooo,” Nunew grumbles, but he already sags into him.

Zee sighs and adjusts his hold. What a very drunk, stubborn kitten you are, Nhu.

Nunew tries to fight again, weak slaps and a dramatic “Let me goooooooo,” but it's over. He's already too tired and too warm and comfortable in Zee’s arms to fight back. He’s also too full of regret and cocktail and everything he never meant to say out loud. 

He lets Zee carry him toward the waiting cab like a sack.

The cab smells faintly of cheap leather and pine-scented air freshener. 

Nunew is slumped against the door, his cheek smushed to the window. His eyes are closed now, but his face is still as flushed as before.

Zee glances at him and couldn't stop all the thoughts running in his mind. Did he mean those words? Does he really want to kiss me? Is it true? He's probably just too drunk .

They spent the whole ride quietly.

The cab rolls to a stop in front of Nunew’s dorm building.

Zee gets out first, jogging around to Nunew’s side before he falls his way out. “Hey–slow down,” he says, catching Nunew’s elbow as the younger boy stumbles slightly on the curb.

“I am slowing down,” Nunew mutters, despite veey much not doing that.

Zee sighs and keeps a light hand on him just in case. “You don't even know which direction your dorm is.”

“Yes I do!” He points… to a vending machine.

“...That's a snack wall.”

“I want a snack!” Nunew snaps, his voice cracking again. “I need a snack, actually.”

Zee doesn’t move. Nunew stills for a second, swaying in place, before his shoulders started bobbing. And suddenly, hie whole expression crumbles.

“Shit–are you crying again?”

“No.” He is, he's doing little sniffles and scrunching his nose.

“Nunew–hey,” Zee steps closer hesitantly. “What's wrong?” I don't know how longer I can see him cry before I break too.

“I don't know! ” Nunew wails, burrying his face in his hands. “I don't know what's happening to me! I was doing so well ! I was mad at you for so long , and now you're just– here, and you're not even awful! You're just–just tall and warm and nice and annoying!”

Zee exhales slowly, hands itching to reach him.

“Years, okay? I hated you for years ! And–and just because of that stupid project – I had to talk to you! And now you're being all…” He gestures vaguely at Zee’s direction. “... you! And it's confusing and I hate it!”

Nunew wipes his face with the back of his hands, which somehow just made it worse. He glares through his tears. “I hate you. Why won't you just leave me alone?”

Zee’s chest tightens. “Then tell me to go.” Just say the word and I'll leave you alone.

Nunew stays silent, just sobbing quietly. Zee takes another cautious step forward. He's so close now, but Nunew doesn't move away.

“If you really want me gone," Zee says, low and steady, “say it. And I will.” Fuck. This hurts.

Silence.

Then suddenly, “...You can walk me to my door.” Nunews murmurs, his voice so small Zee almost didn't hear it.

Zee almost laughs, but he just nods. “Okay.” Okay, he really doesn't want me gone. Thank God.

When they reach the door, Nunew fumbles with the keycard.

“Need help?” Zee asks.

“I got it.”

The door beeps and clicks open. But Nunew just stands there in the doorway, his lips parting like he's hesitating to say something. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles. “And sorry.”

“For what?” Zee asks softly. Fuck. He's too cute. I really need to go now before my self control crashes out and I just kiss hi–

Nunew doesn't answer. Instead, he fists Zee’s shirt with both hands, yanks him down, and…

He crashes their lips together.

Nunew doesn't know what he's doing. He's drunk and his face is full of tears and he's angry. He doesn't know what came into him. But it just felt so right, it feels so good.

Zee’s eyes widen, his body frozen. He barely has time to process how soft Nunew’s lips are before Nunew pulls back just enough to glare at him.

Then suddenly,

SLAM!

The door is on Zee’s face.

What the actual fu—

CLICK!

The door swings open. A hand shoots out, grabs his shirt, and yanks him inside.

Zee stumbles forward, and suddenly Nunew is all over him . The kiss is even rougher than the last, Nunew’s tongue is slick and impatient, his teeth grazing Zee’s lower lip. His hands roam up Zee’s chest, pulling him even closer and closer.

Zee’s back hits the wall with a thud with Nunew pressing into him harder. A gasp breaks from his lips. Fuck. Don't. Don't kiss him back. He’s drunk. You know better–

But Nunew moans against his mouth, and suddenly he forgot how to make his brain work.

Zee snaps. Fuck. He groans into the kiss, his lips parting, and tongue sliding against Nunew’s. His hands fall to Nunew’s waist, his fingers digging into the fabric of his pants. His waist is so fucking small in my hands –

Their hips brush. Zee can feel Nunew’s heartbeat through his chest, he can feel the way Nunew is grinding closer to him. Their mouths open wider. It's getting even more wet and hot and sloppy. Nunew grips his shirt tighter, tilting his head and letting Zee suck on his tongue.

And fuck, Zee's getting lost in his mouth. He can't think right anymore. For ten more glorious, horrible seconds, he lets himself indulge in something he knows is wrong. Fuck .

His hands slide to the back of Nunew’s neck, pulling him in. Their lips crash again, even deeper this time. They're making the kind of noises that really shouldn’t come from enemies, or project partners, or even friends. 

Zee’s tongue strokes Nunew’s hungrily. He can feel Nunew’s thighs bumping into his knees, his fingers curling tighter around Zee’s shirt, pulling, begging—

Then Zee breaks away, gasping.

“Stop.” 

Nunew stares at him with glassy eyes. “Why?”

“You’re drunk.”

“I know.”

“You’re gonna regret this.”

“I don't care.”

“Nunew–”

But Nunew is chasing his mouth again, tipping up on his toes desperately.

Zee stops him gently with a hand on his cheek. “I want to. You have no idea how much I want this.”

“Then–”

“But you're drunk. And this is wrong. I can't take advantage of you like this, okay?”

Nunew trembles, his lips wobbling like he's about to cry again. He lets his forehead drop against Zee's chest, just realizing now what he did. “...Sorry,” he mumbles. “I don’t… I don't know why I did that. “

Zee swallows, caressing Nunew’s hair. “It’s okay, let's just get you to bed, hmm?” He gently scoops him up and carries him to bed, shutting the door with his foot. Yes, they did all that with the door open! 

“... I'm sorry,” Nunew murmurs, he's still in a haze, but he’s already processing the weight of his actions. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Zee says softly, gently taking off Nunew's shoes. “I got you,” he mumbles as he tucks him in his blanket, before gazing at him with soft eyes.

Nunew's eyes flutter shut. “...Hia,” he breathes.

Hia, huh? What does that mean? It's cute. Zee lets a stupid grin creep up his face, starring at Nunew endearingly. How come you're still so cute even after devouring my lips like that? I hope…. I hope you won't regret it when you wake up tomorrow. But I just know that you probably would.

He leans down and gently plants his lips on Nunew’s forehead. 

“Hia is not going anywhere.”

But after all that, he really needs a cold shower.

—

The plan was simple.

Step 1: Get Nunew tipsy.

Step 2: Accidentally-on-purpose nudge him toward Zee.

Step 3: Let romantic fate take care of the rest.

Easy, right?

Except Max’s hand was already on Nat’s waist the second they stepped into the dim corner. And Nat, well, Nat wasn’t even pretending to look innocent. He dragged Max here, sat on his lap, and whispered something in his ear that made Max laugh low and hot, eyes already half-lidded.

“Shouldn’t we, like…” Max tried, his voice already trailing off. “Check on Nunew?”

“Mm,” Nat hummed, lips brushing his jaw. “We’re checking.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Nat leaned in closer. “I’m sure he’s fine. He’s got–uh–legs.”

Max is not convinced but he didn’t exactly move. Not when Nat’s fingers were playing with the chain around his neck, or when his knee was pressing between his thighs.

“God, you’re distracting,” Max muttered, breath catching.

“Good,” Nat whispered, smug and shameless.

Nunew was long gone. Possibly drunk, possibly dancing, possibly picking a fight with the one man they were trying to set him up with.

But Max and Nat?

They were far too tangled up in each other to notice.

So much for the matchmakers of the year, huh?

Chapter Text

Regret. That's the first thing Nunew felt when he opened his eyes. Then second, a throbbing headache that feels like he got run over by a ten-wheeler truck, or maybe a twenty-wheeler truck. Either way, he feels like shit . Third, his guts are telling him that he did something really, really humiliating last night.

He gently sits upright, clenching his head like it will actually do something about the excruciating pain he's experiencing right now. Gosh. I really shouldn’t have drunk so much.  

Slowly opening his eyes and adjusting to the light seeping from the window, he scans his surroundings. Good. I'm in my room. He peeks under the blanket. Good. I'm fully dressed. He breathes a sigh of relief, only for it to catch in his throat. Wait. Hold on. How did I get home?

Memories from last night suddenly flashed piece by piece in his mind. From the moment they went inside the club, to him drinking like 6 shots of cocktail, to him going the dance floor alone, to him seeing Zee and–

Holy shit.

His eyes goes wide and his heart goes frantic as everything replayed in his head.

“W-What are you doing here? Are you–are you following me or what?! I’m try–I’m trying to get you off my mind, and y-you– and you’re even letting that–that girl all over you! You’re laughing and letting her touch you-your arms!”

Nunew sits frozen, he can feel all his blood draining from his face. What the hell. Oh my god, Nhu. What the hell did you do?!

More flashbacks came rushing in. Him shoving Zee multiple times, screaming at him, everyone in the club staring at them. He remembers Zee trying to touch him and him fighting him back, Zee carrying him to the cab, and him crashing out in front of the dorm building. Oh my god.

Nunew lets himself fall back in the bed, watching his pride slowly break into little embarrassing pieces before him. Wait. How the hell did I get up here without breaking my nose?

Then voila! Everything hits him. Zee walked him up to his room, he almost crashed into the door while fumbling with his keycard, he thanked and apologized to Zee, then he pulled his shirt and–

What the fuck?!

He shoots up from the bed again, all the blood coming back up to his face. No , he thinks. No. I didn't do that. No way. Maybe I'm just hallucinating? There's no way I did that!

His eyes suddenly darted to the corner of his bed, where his sleepy cat plushie lies sideways. And on the windowsill, July yawns loudly, stretches, and hops onto his bed with a judgmental flick of her tail.

Nunew points an accusing finger to both cats. “ You . Both of you. Tell me what happened last night!”

The plushie remains silent (honestly, what did Nunew expect? for some spirit to possess it?!), and July, in her true nonchalant paw-shion, begins licking her paw while looking straight into Nunew’s eyes.

“Oh my god. You're both useless! You could’ve stopped me if what I'm thinking really happened!” he tells the plushie, grabbing and shaking it. “And you! You could've meowed or scratched me!” he adds to July, who now turns her back to him.

Just when he's trying to convince himself that he's going crazy and blames his cats for everything, the door suddenly opens, revealing Nat holding a pack of takeout.

“Oh, you're awake,” Nat says, taking off his slippers and walking over to his desk to place the food. “How are you feeling? And why are you strangling your plushie?”

“Terrible,” Nunew grumbles, putting the plushie back on his bed. “I feel terrible.”

Nat snorts. “You look terrible too.”

“Jelly, I don't know what happened last night,” Nunew lies through his teeth. “Did I do something embarrassing?”

“Uh,” Nat's face reddens, suddenly remembering how he was in Max’s lap the whole night. “I also just woke up a few minutes ago before ordering takeout. My memories are a bit blurry. Maybe you should ask James, or Yim?”

Nunew groans, tapping his bed and trying to find his phone. Don't tell me I lost it too. He mentally thanks the heaven when his hand finds it under his pillow. 

12:47 PM.

21 notifications.

2 missed calls.

1 message from an unknown number.

And in the group chat, messages from James and Yim last night at 2 am.

James [2:21 AM]: New, pls text us if you're alive

James [2:21 AM]: Good luck facing the world when u wake up

James [2:22 AM]: Get home safe

James [2:24 AM]: @Yim @Nat where the hell are you guys?

Yim [2:30 AM]: Im woth pTutor dnt worry abut me

Yim [2:31 AM]: I thnk i saw Nat wigh Pmax

James [2:35 AM]: Wow. You're totally wasted

James [2:35 AM]: I'm the only sane one here

James [2:36 AM] I guess I'm going home alone

James [2:37 AM]: You guys take care 

Nunew scrolls shakily to the messages from the unknown number. He hesitates for a while before clicking on it, still trying to gaslight himself that everything's okay. It can't be him, right? …Right? It's been weeks since I gave him my number.. But technically, he never texted me before… so it can be him. But I don't want it to be him! Gosh, Nhu, just open it!

Unknown Number:

[3:36 AM]: I left some painkillers on your desk. Don’t forget to drink it when you wake up.

 - Hia

“Holy shit,” he mutters loudly, making Nat side-eye him across the room. His eyes shoot up to the painkillers on his desk that he didn't notice earlier. Oh my god. So it's real? He really walked me up here? He really went inside? I really kissed him?! – And Hia? When the hell did I call him that?! I was reserving that nickname for my future boyfriend!

“Jelly,” Nat wakes him up from his inner crisis. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Nunew throws his phone on his bed before slamming his head against the pillow. “I'm never going out ever again. I'm deleting my student portal. I'm flying to Mars.”

Nat chortles at the sight of his best friend having an existential crisis. “That’s too much, Jelly. Let's just eat first.”

Nunew doesn't know if he has an ounce of appetite to even take a single bite of food right now. 

He feels absolutely like shit. Not only did he embarrass himself in front of those people at the club, but he also kissed Zee! And the worst part? The kiss wasn't even awful! 

Nunew pulls back a bit from his pillow and touches his lips subconsciously, reminiscing about how perfect Zee’s lips felt against his, how good his tongue tasted, how sturdy his chest was in Nunew's han– Argh! I need to think straight!

Nunew groans into his pillow frustratingly, ignoring Nat unpacking the food he brought earlier, and continues his crash out. No. I can't face that guy. I don’t ever want to see him again. I don’t even know what he's thinking of me now. Does he think I'm disgusting? Pathetic? I'm a pervert for forcing myself into him like that!

Nope. This is fine. Nunew is totally fine. He'll just avoid Zee’s text the entire weekend. And when they meet up for the project on Monday? He'll just act normal. He'll just act like nothing happened at all. Sounds like a plan!

Nunew flips over and stares at the ceiling. “I can do this,” he coaxes himself. 

Nat, halfway through unboxing the food, blinks. “Do what?”

“Nothing,” Nunew mumbles. “Just…pass me the rice.”

—

Zee is at the gym. On a Sunday. At 8AM. 

Who even goes to the gym on a Sunday morning? Don't ask Zee if he's crazy, ‘cause he'll say yes without a doubt. And he's not even working out properly, he's just half-heartedly going through his sets while his mind replays Friday night on loop.

Zee pushes through another rep on the bench press, his chest burning and arms slightly shaking from overexertion. Good , he thinks. This was his plan anyway, to exhaust himself enough to make his brain finally shut up for once. But of course, it doesn't. His mind just won't cooperate and leave him alone when he needs peace the most. 

He racks the barbell with the groan and sits up, grabbing his towel to wipe the sweat forming in his forehead before grabbing his phone from his bag. He looks at his reflection on his camera and thinks, I look like shit. He hasn't slept well since that night, the image of a certain guy with golden hair and soft lips kept hunting him whenever he closed his eyes.

A bitter smile tugs at his lips as the memory replays in his head for the nth time. God, that kiss. It was everything he expected and more. He swears he can still feel the warmth of Nunew’s hands on his chest, he can still feel how plump his lips were. He can still remember how at that moment, a part of him believed that Nunew doesn't hate him as much as he said he did. 

He must've gotten it all wrong tho. Because Saturday came and went like a flash while he spent hours patiently waiting for Nunew’s reponse to his text. What he got at the end of the day? Nothing. He was just left on read the whole time.

Zee scrolls through his phone while absentmindedly grabbing his tumbler and sipping water, staring at the last message he sent.

To: Nhu ❤ 

[3:36 AM]: I left some painkillers on your desk. Don’t forget to drink it when you wake up.

 - Hia

Don't ask him about Nunew’s name on his phone too, let him be delusional peacefully. 

He switches apps, going to Twitter to check on Nunew’s account. He's still unblocked, but the account is painfully quieter than usual. There are just a few retweets about food and some Kdrama he watches, but there aren't any posts about Zee, or even about that night. 

What did I even expect? Zee exhales sharply through his nose, leaning against the bench with his phone still in his tight grasp.

Maybe he shouldn't have texted him at all. Maybe he should've just left right after putting him to bed. Maybe he should've just pretended like nothing happened, just like what Nunew’s clearly doing right now.

He squeezes his eyes shut painfully. This isn’t fair. Nunew was just drunk. He doesn’t owe me anything. I'm just an idiot who let myself hope for something more. 

The worse part is that they're supposed to meet for the project tomorrow. Zee can’t help but feel anxious that Nunew might bail on him out of his persistent avoidance of him. 

“Should I even ask if we're still meeting tomorrow?” he mutters loudly to himself, drawing a glance from a guy across the room who's just as crazy as him to be at the gym right now, which he just ignored.

He should probably just let it go. Let Monday come and just pretend like nothing happened between them. That must be Nunew’s plan too, considering how he still hasn't reached out until now. They can just go back to how they were before, go back to stupid polite small talks and purely professional meetings.

Zee leans forward, putting his elbows on his knees and stares blankly at the gym floor. But I don't want to pretend. I don't want to go to square one again.

Zee decides to text again, just to make sure that Nunew still wants to continue the project with him. His fingers hover over the keyboard hesitantly, unsure how to phrase his question without seeming desperate.

To: Nhu ❤ 

[8:27 AM]: Hey. Are we still meeting tomorrow for the project?

He stares at it for a long time before finally hitting send.

Then he stands up to put his phone back in his duffel bag, before going back to the bench and grabbing the weight back to his chest. If he's going to suffer, he might as well make it physical.

Zee's almost finished with another agonizing set, his breath uneven and sweat running down his temples, when he suddenly heard a sound from his bag on the floor.

Ping.

He flinches so hard the bar almost landed on his face. “Shit–” He scrambles to put it back to its rack and stumbles his way off the bench.

He lunges for his phone, heart beating on his chest frantically.

1 new message.

Nhu ❤ 

[8:54 AM]: Yes.

Zee stares at it, dumbfounded. That's it???? He doesn't even get an emoji? A good morning? Or even a ‘Yes, P'Zee'? 

He lets out a short, bitter laugh, hesitating if he's supposed to respond. What would he even say?

“Okay! Can't wait to see you and pretend I didn't just had a full make-out session with you in front of your dorm door!”

Yeah. Not a chance.

He puts his phone back in his bag, but not before putting it on Do Not Disturb. Hah! Like Nunew would even take the time to disturb him! But for some reason, it makes him feel a little more pathetic that way. And if he's going to act like a loser, he'll at least go all in.

Zee goes back to the bench again and finishes his set, this time exerting more force than necessary. He's trying ignoring the ugly pang clawing at his heart. His arms ache and his chest ache. But nothing aches more than the stupid hope he still hasn't managed to kill.

—

The café is quiet except for the occasional clinks of silverware and the low hum of conversations of the people in the background. Zee and Nunew sit across from each other, their table cluttered with a laptop, a tablet, printed scripts, and cue cards.

If you're a bystander who so just happens to pass by them, you'll think that they're just two students preparing for a presentation. Nothing more.

Except that's just what they're pretending to be.

Nunew's eyes are fixated on his screen, one leg bouncing under the table. “So… if we move this line to the second slide, it'll flow better with the methods.”

Zee nods once. “Makes sense.”

They totally look normal through the lens of other people. What they don't know is that both of them are almost dying inside. 

Nunew even had to give himself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror before going to the café ten minutes later than their agreed time again. Zee had to spend three hours at the gym in the morning to calm his nerves, but still arrived at their place twenty minutes early out of apprehension.

They go on awkwardly and professionally for over an hour, rehearsing their lines, checking the slides, and giving each other the bare minimum of acknowledgement. Both of them are determined to not break the tension between them, deciding that two can play this game of pretending.

When they finish a rough run-through of their presentation, Nunew clears his throat. “That should be okay for now. I'll revise the visual later.”

“Yeah,” Zee says, drumming his fingers against the table. “Cool.” How long is he gonna pretend like this?

Nunew starts packing up without looking up. He doesn't have to, he can feel the weight of Zee’s gaze on him without having to glance at him.

He slings his bag over his shoulder, standing up quickly to make his leave as soon as he possibly could. I need to get out of here.

Zee watches him scramble out of his seat, contemplating whether he should just let Nunew go without a word or do something. Fuck. I need to do something. Think, Pruk. Think.

Just when Nunew thought he can finally escape from this misery, Zee's hand suddenly grabs his wrist. “Wait.”

Nunew freezes and turns to him slightly. He's very much freaking out inside. No no no. Please just let me go.

“Are you avoiding me?”

Nunew blinks at him. “What?” There's a lump painfully forming in his throat. No. We're not doing this today. 

Zee’s grip loosens a bit, but he doesn't let go. “You’ve been ignoring my message. You didn’t even say anything about–” he stops himself and bites his tongue. Damn. What am I even saying?

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I'm talking about.”

“I don't.”

Nunew finally looks into his eyes, and it’s taking every ounce of his courage to keep pretending like this. “If this is about the project,” his voice remains polite and calm. “Then we've already talked about everything. I have to go.” 

With that, he gently pulls his wrist from Zee’s grasp, and walks away past the chairs, past the door, past from the responsibility of talking to him like a mature person, and out into the street.

Zee doesn’t follow, just stays seated and stares at the empty space Nunew left behind. He doesn’t know what's heavier, his hand that's still lingering in the air, or his heart that's slowly sinking to his stomach. It must be both.

—

Nunew slams the door to his dorm shut, drops his bag to the floor, and makes it about five steps before he drops to his knees beside his bed. He doesn’t even make it to the mattress properly, he just curls onto the floor while he's pressed on the edge, face buried in his crossed arms.

He doesn't know where he got all that strength to pretend like he was fine in front of Zee. But now that he's finally alone, his throat is dry and tight for not saying anything. His hands feel too big and useless. His heart is heavy in the worst, most pathetic way. He feels even more like shit now. 

Because what the hell is he doing?

He was the one who threw himself at Zee that night. Him being drunk isn't even a valid excuse. He's still the one who yelled and said all that crap in the club. He’s the one who kissed him. And now? Now he's the one who's acting like it never happened? He's the one who ignored him over the weekends? He's the one avoiding the conversation they both need? 

He presses his head even further into his arms. Why am I such a coward? Why is it so hard for me to just face this?

He doesn't even notice the door softly creaking open. He suddenly flinches at the sound of Nat’s voice. “Jelly! I got milk tea–” Nat’s smile faded as he saw Nunew’s state.

Nunew doesn't move, but he can hear the slow steps towards him and a rustle as Nat puts the drinks down somewhere. 

“Jelly?” Nunew peeks a bit from his arms, Nat is crouching in front of him now, his brows frowning and face full of concern. “What happened?”

Nunew blinks up at him with watery eyes. “I–I don't know,” he whispers, his voice so small it can be missed so easily if Nat wasn’t paying attention. “I.. I don’t feel good.”

Nat shifts closer and sits down cross-legged. He hums softly and waits for Nunew to figure his own words out.

Nunew’s lips part, but nothing comes out yet. His chest is rising uncontrollably as he presses his sleeves to his mouth. “I–I think I hurt him… I hurt him, Jelly.”

Nat tilts his head gently. “You mean P'Zee?”

Nunew nods, pulling himself off the floor just enough to lean his back against the edge of the bed. He runs his hand through his face, trying to stop his body from shaking. “I… I kissed him,” he takes shallow breaths. “That night… when we went to the club.” 

His words catch Nat off guard, but he doesn’t say anything. He figures what Nunew needs the most now is his presence and his ears.

“I kissed him, Jelly. I don’t even know why I did that,” Nunew continues, finding it hard to speak properly with the tightness in his throat. “I was drunk… but I remember it all so clearly. And… and it made me so scared.”

“I was scared to face the consequences of my actions. So I pretended that nothing happened. When–when we met earlier, I saw it in his face that he wanted to ask me so many things… but I was so scared, so I just left him there,” Nunew hushed for a minute, leaning his arms on his knees to sink his face again. “Now I feel so guilty… I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Jelly… do you still hate him?” Nat asks delicately, he knows well that there’s more to this than just what Nunew has said so far. 

“What?” Nunew pulls his head back from his arms, perplexed with what his best friend had just asked him. “Of–of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Jelly…”

“I still hate him,” he says quickly, guardedly, but even he himself finds it hard to believe it. “I mean– I should do, right? I should still do. After what he did to you, how can I– how can I just… start forgetting it like nothing?”

“You know you’re allowed to forgive him now… don’t you?”

“No,” Nunew says, “No, Jelly. You don’t get it. It’s not just about me… It’s about you too. I spent so long hating him for you. Telling myself that I’m doing the right thing by protecting you. I thought… I thought that if I hate him enough, he–he won’t be able to hurt you–or anyone, again.” If I held this anger tight enough, it’d shield you. If I hated him loud enough, it’d punish him.

“So what does it say about me if I stop hating him? If I forgive him?” His breath lapses. “If–if I let go of this, if I stop being mad, then it means I’m…I’m betraying you. And me. And everything I made myself believe about him.”

Nunew continues. “Jelly… if I let go of this,” he breathes. “It means I was wrong. It means I wasn’t protecting anyone. I was just making everything about how I felt.”

He buries his face again. The room feels smaller now, he feels his guilt pressing in from all sides. He relives all the moments in his life where he let his emotions get ahead of him.

He thinks of that time in high school when he screamed at that teacher who accused his friend of cheating. When he cried for days ‘cause his friend’s pet died. When he had his first ever crush, the one who called him clingy when he wrote him too many love letters for Valentine's day. 

When I love, it’s everything. And when I hate, I do it just as passionately. Maybe…I’m just too much?

“Jelly… was I too cruel?” he whispers. “I didn’t even ask for his side. All this time… I never even asked why he did what he did. I just…hated him. And now that I know he’s not…that he might not be what I made him out to be, I–I don’t know what to do with all this.”

Nunew stays curled up against the bedframe, sleeves soaked from where he’s pressed them to his eyes. Nat still hasn’t said anything, just sat there and waited for Nunew.

“I’m sorry,” Nunew rumbles, his voice broken, he needs to let it out before his guilt leaves him breathless and rotten.

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry,” he says again, louder this time, even as his voice wobbles. “I’m so–so sorry, Jelly.”

Nat shifts towards him. “For what?”

“For everything,” Nunew chokes out. “For making it about me. For…for acting like I was the one who got hurt. When you were the one–when he hurt you .”

His breath shudders, and he shakes his head violently. “I didn’t protect you. I just made a mess. I didn’t even know the full story, and I didn’t care. I just…I needed someone to blame. I needed someone to hate , and I picked him, and I dragged you–and everyone into it.”

A long pause. “I thought if I hated him hard enough, it would fix everything. But it didn’t. I didn’t help at all. And now it’s just…”

“Now I’m the one hurting someone. I’m the one being unfair.” His voice lowers. “I’m no better.”

Nat lets out a slow breath, but doesn't say anything yet. He just reaches out to pull Nunew’s head from his arms and cups his face so gently. He wipes his thumb under his eyes, catching the tears that won’t stop.

“Jelly,” he says softly. “You did protect me.”

Nunew blinks at him, stunned.

“You always have,” Nat continues, voice trembling. “Even when I didn’t ask you to. Even when I didn’t know I needed it. You were so angry on my behalf, and I used to wonder why you cared so much, why it felt like it hurt you too. But now I get it.” He gives a small, tearful smile. “Because when you love someone, you love them hard . You always have.”

Nunew’s lip trembles, not trusting his voice to say anything back.

“You’ve always loved people so fiercely, even when you didn’t know how to say it out loud. Even when it hurts you.”

Nunew is crying again, big, ugly sobs now, he's sure his whole body will feel sore after. “But it wasn’t enough, Jelly. It didn’t fix anything. I still feel like I failed you. And now I’m hurting someone who probably—who maybe never even meant to hurt anyone in the first place. And I don’t know how to live with that.”

Nat doesn't let him spiral this time. He just shifts forward and pulls him in, his arms wrapping tight around Nunew’s shaking frame. Nunew clutches back immediately, fists gripping the back of Nat’s shirt.

“You don’t have to live with it like that,” Nat whispers into his hair. “You did your best. And I’m okay now, I really am. You know how grateful I am that it didn't work out with P'Zee, ‘cause it led me to meeting P'Max. And I've never been happier, Jelly.”

He pulls back just enough to look at him.

“You can let go. You can let your anger go now, New.”

Nunew’s face crumples. “But what if that makes me a bad person?”

“It doesn’t,” Nat says firmly, squeezing his arms around him again. “It makes you someone who tried. And you deserve peace now, Jelly. You deserve to be happy.”

After a few minutes, their breathing starts to even out. The tears slow, then stop, leaving their faces blotchy and their sleeves damp. Nat’s still sitting cross-legged, leaning against the side of the bed, and Nunew’s curled beside him like a stray cat, head resting on his shoulder.

There’s a long pause.

Then Nat murmurs, “We’re gonna look so ugly in the mirror later.”

Nunew lets out a little wheeze. “I already do.”

“Speak for yourself,” Nat says, and pats his hair gently. “I’m pretty even when I cry.”

They both laugh, hoarse and breathless.

A beat later, Nat pulls away just enough to reach out to grab the forgotten drinks on the desk. “I got brown sugar for you,” he says, handing over the cup. “Your usual, with pearls.”

Nunew takes it with both hands. He stares at it for a moment, then pokes the straw in with a small, shy thunk. “Thanks,” he says quietly. “For… everything.”

“Always,” Nat replies, clinking his cup lightly against Nunew’s. “Now drink up. We're both dehydrated now.”

They sip in silence for a while. The room is quieter now, the air softer. The light from outside has dimmed, turning golden as it filters in through the window blinds. It’s… peaceful. 

Nat taps his cup with his nail. “Sooo…” he starts, voice light and teasing. “You kissed him.”

Nunew chokes on his milk tea. Agh! Here it comes!

“Jelly!”

“I knew it,” Nat grins, unrepentant. “I mean, I suspected—actually, no, I didn’t. That completely took me out. You?! Kissing him?! In this economy?!”

“I didn’t plan it!” Nunew squeaks, wiping his mouth. His face is burning. “I was drunk and emotional and—God, I hate myself—”

“Stop that,” Nat says, tapping his foot against Nunew’s. “You’re allowed to have feelings, you know. It’s not illegal. And anyway, you obviously like him.”

“I don’t,” Nunew says too fast. “I mean, I don’t think I do. I—okay, maybe I do. But also I hate him. And also I think I hurt him. And also—” he gestures vaguely with his drink, “—I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Nat shrugs, sipping his own drink. “Sounds like falling for someone to me.”

Nunew glares weakly at him over his cup. “You are the worst.” I knew it! I knew he won’t let his teasing go!

“You kissed him~” Nat sings softly, cooing at how red Nunew's face had become. "Nunew kissed P'Zee~"

Nunew hides his entire face behind the milk tea like a coward. He decides that he'll deal with those feelings later. For now, he'll let himself bask in his best friend’s presence. (Or so he thought, 'cause what he doesn't know is that ten minutes later, he'll be reminded of an assignment due in twenty minutes and end up cramming it with swollen eyes.)

—

Nunew’s bed is messy from where he’s been tossing and turning for an hour now. His head turns to his bedside table, the alarm clock reads 12:39AM. For heaven's sake! He has a 7AM class later!

But how can he sleep? If each time he closes his eyes, he keeps seeing Zee’s face? His face when he asked him if Nunew’s avoiding him. His face when Nunew took his wrist away from him. 

God, Nunew’s guilt is eating him alive. He can't help but contemplate. Should I text him? To apologize? To ask if he's okay? If he hates me now?

After his conversation with Nat earlier, he gained a lot of clarity. He considered that maybe, maybe he really can drop all those grudges now. Nat's words are echoing in his mind. You deserve to be happy. Nunew can't help but smile at the thought. I guess I do deserve that.

But how can he be happy? He doesn't know how to reach out again. After everything he'd done to Zee, all those painful words and blatant avoidance, he doesn't know Zee will still accept him. He's afraid of messing things up even further. Gosh, why is this so hard?

His gaze drops to his phone on the table. Maybe he should really text him, just so you know, check up on him. Just one message. It's not like Zee will even reply, right? It's almost 1am, he should be asleep now.

He picks it up, stares at the empty chat box for two minutes and the Unknown Number on the top of his screen. He decides he should put Zee’s name first.

His fingers then hesitate above the keyboard. He types. Deletes. Types again. Deletes again. Gosh!!! This is stupid. What would he even say?

But before he could think better of it, his fingers got more courage than he could ever have. 

Nunew [12:47AM]: Are you still awake?

He instantly regrets it. Oh my god. What if he thinks I'm stupid? What if he's asleep and sees this in the morning and realizes that I'm a complete loser who texts at ungodly hours like a desperate ex?

Three seconds pass. Then seven. Twenty. His fingers start moving on their own again.

Nunew [12:48AM]: Sorry

Nunew [12:48AM]: Ignore that

Nunew [12:48AM]: I didn't mean to bother you

He immediately regrets that too. He throws his phone on the bed and clutches his hair. “What am I doing. What am I doing,” he mumbles, afraid that he will wake Nat up across the room.

After a minute or two of his inner turmoil, his phone suddenly lights up, making him jolt a bit.

P’Zee [12:50AM]: No it's okay

P’Zee [12:50AM]: What’s up?

Nunew stares at his screen, unsure what to reply now that Zee’s actually awake. Just don't be weird, Nhu. Don't be weird.

Nunew [12:53AM]: Just can't sleep

Nunew [12:53AM]: What are you doing

Why do I even care what he's doing…? He's not even in the middle of his inner strife when Zee sees his reply and types again.

P’Zee [12:54AM]: Still at the gym

Nunew’s eyes widened, ‘cause who in their right mind would go to the gym at this hour?

Nunew [12:55AM]: At almost 1am????

—

If you told Zee earlier that he'd get texts from Nunew at his second hour in the gym tonight, he wouldn't believe you. He didn’t expect any texts from anyone, let alone from Nunew. 

He reads the messages again, and a part of him wonders if he's just hallucinating. Maybe he pushed too hard on the weights earlier so now he's seeing things. But no, he pinched his arms so hard to realize that it's actually real.

Nhu ❤️ [12:55AM]: At almost 1am????

A faint laugh leaves him, can't help but think about how cute and adorable Nunew is for texting him at an ungodly hour. What the hell are you doing, Nunew? Why now?

It's not like he’s mad. God, no. He doesn't think he could ever be mad at Nunew. If anything, he's … thrown. He wasn't prepared for this at all. He's never prepared at all when it comes to him.

He types his reply, doubting what words to say now to not scare Nunew away.

Zee [12:57AM]: Could ask you the same thing

Zee [12:57AM]: Shouldn’t you be asleep?

Zee wipes a towel across his face and sits at the nearest bench with his phone clutched in his hand while waiting for his reply. His muscles ache, his shoulders burning, his knuckles bleeding from using the punching bag with his bare hands. He's been at it for over two hours now, he came straight after his shower and didn't stop. 

He's just grateful that he's friends with the gym owner, Poppy, who's sick of trying to kick Zee out after closing hours. Poppy just threw a set of keys to Zee one night and said that he trusts him enough for this anyway. And he's even more grateful that he's able to spend as much time here as he wants 'cause he only has afternoon classes later.

Zee came here for the same usual reason. He can’t sleep and can't get Nunew out of his mind. He figures he could use this time to work out rather than just turn and toss on his bed for hours. 

And what was the saying? No pain, no gain?? Screw that, actually. He's all pain and it's not helping him gain a damn thing.

He suddenly remembers how hopeless and messy he felt when he first walked into the gym tonight. All he could do was ruminate about how he ruined things between them again . That after everything he did, after all that effort, he still messed up. After all the bargaining he did with Prof. Aof, all the times he sat through boring meetings just to get a chance to work with Nunew to prove him that he’s not that much of an asshole, everything still ended up… the way he didn’t want it to. Nunew still hates him.

Well, that was what he thought. That was before his phone buzzed multiple times while he was beating the hell out of the punching bag earlier. At first, he figured it was just Max asking him where he'd run off. He even thought Damn, I shouldn't have turned the DND off. But just when he was about to mute it again, just imagine how baffled he was to see Nunew’s name on his screen.

A sudden ding! from his hand pulled him back from his thoughts.

Nhu ❤️ [12:59AM]: I couldn't sleep

He barely starts typing a reply when another message follows.

Nhu ❤️ [1:01]: I was thinking of you

Zee gapes at his screen, speechless. Fuck.. Am I reading this right? The stupid grin that creeps up his face this time is so big he could swear his mouth’s about to rip out.

And all of a sudden, his bruises don't sting as much. The two-hour workout, the bleeding knuckles, the sleepless nights, all at once don't matter to him anymore. All that matters to him is Nunew, and the five words he’s about to memorize now. I was thinking of you.

Perhaps… all of Zee’s efforts were worth it after all.

Chapter Text

The light is yellow from the streetlamp where Nunew’s sitting on a bench. It’s late, past midnight, and he doesn’t remember how he got here. One moment he was brushing his teeth, and suddenly he’s here, sitting closely beside Zee.

Zee is still in his gym clothes, with a towel slung over his shoulder and his hoodie unzipped halfway. His hair’s still damp, he probably just came out of a shower. Why is he so hot? Nunew’s brain is buffering again.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Zee asks with his soft voice.

Nunew stares ahead, pretending to focus on the flickering streetlamp in the distance. “I couldn’t sleep,” he whispers, and before he could think better of it. “I was thinking of you.”

Oh no. His words are leaving his mouth before he can catch them. “I meant– the project. I was thinking about the project,” he adds quickly as an attempt to save himself from the imprudent mouth of his.

Zee shifts, turning just enough to look at him with a teasing glint in his eyes. “The project, huh?”

Nunew avoids his gaze, looking up into the stars in the sky instead. “Don’t get the wrong idea, P’Zee.”

“P’Zee? I thought I was Hia?” Zee chuckles, watching Nunew’s cheeks redden.

His words make Nunew’s stomach flip. He turns to meet his eyes, mouth ready to attack with a snarky remark, something about how delusional Zee is. But he freezes when he realizes how his face is a hair’s breadth away from Zee’s.

Both of them don’t move away. “You were really thinking about me?” Zee murmurs, his breath panning warmth into Nunew’s lips.

“Hia…”

Zee’s smile softens at Nunew’s voice. Nunew’s heart is pounding.

No one knows who leaned in first, it must be both of them. But all at once, the space between them is slowly closing.

Zee’s eyes flickered close, his nose softly bumping Nunew’s. Nothing is stopping them now. Not anyone, not alcohol, not hatred. They’re free to do what they desire.

Nunew tilts his head gently and parts his lips. There’s no turning back now. Their lips touch and suddenly the world stops turning around them.

Zee’s hand lifts delicately, resting it on the side of Nunew’s neck. The contact sends a shiver through his whole body, but he can’t find it in himself to stop. It feels too good to even think of stopping for a second.

The kiss deepens passionately, both of them tilting heads to find the comfortable angles. 

It’s only when Zee pulls back slightly to take a breath does Nunew finds himself chasing the warmth of Zee’s mouth again. He wraps his arms around Zee’s neck, about to pull him i–

WHACK!

“YAH!” A pillow smacks Nunew straight in the face. 

He shoots up with a gasp and wide eyes. What the fuck! I was about to go in for that second kis– Wait… that was a dream??

Nat stands over him, baffled and judgmental. “Are you crazy? Why are you making kissy faces in your sleep?!”

Nunew blinks at him, still disoriented from what just happened. Holy shit. Why did that dream feel so real?!

“Jelly, what in the world were you dreaming about?!” Nat still isn't over the fact that his best friend was making out with air. “I even heard you moan!”

“I DIDN’T MOAN!!” 

Nat scoffs dramatically. “Oh you totally did! I thought you were possessed or something. I was ready to call P'Max.”

Nunew collapses back onto his bed with a groan, dragging his blanket over his face to hide his mortification. “Kill me now.” Why is he hunting me even in my dreams?!

“No thanks, I’m not cleaning up the mess,” Nat says, plopping onto the edge of the bed with his arms crossed. “So? Who was it? Must’ve been a hot one for you to be moaning like that.”

Nunew lets out a muffled scream under the blanket. “It was just a dream, okay?! It doesn’t mean anything!” 

“Hmm.” Nat taps his chin. “Let me guess. Short black hair, stupid grin, annoyingly ripped arms?”

“I will smother you with this pillow,” Nunew threatens. Gosh… There’s no way I'm getting out of this.

“Oh my god.” Nat’s eyes go wide. “So it was P'Zee.”

Nunew flings the blanket off, ready to fight Nat back. “NO. I– It– it was just… some random lucid dream. I can't even remember what happened anymore!”

“Mmhmm,” Nat says, totally unconvinced. “Well, your moans totally loved that random lucid dream. Damn, even Dream P'Zee knew what he was doing.”

Nunew whines and covers his face with both hands. “Please stop talking.”

Nat grins and leans in. “So… was it good?”

“I’M NOT ANSWERING THAT.”

“Oh, you better do. I need the details.” Nat wiggles his eyebrows, he thinks teasing Nunew is the funniest thing ever. “Was it like, slow and romantic, or—”

Nunew throws the pillow at him, in hopes that Nat will finally hesitate and shut his mouth for once. It’s way too early in the morning for this.

He groans into his hands again, but something buzzes against his thigh. He peeks through his fingers, reaching under the blanket to grab his phone.

The screen lights up: 7:16 AM.

His eyes widen in horror. " SHIT ."

He bolts upright, nearly knocking Nat off the ground. Before Nat could even catch himself, Nunew’s already tripping into his slippers, grabbing random clothes from the chair. “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?!”

“I tried! But you were too busy making out with P’Zee!”

“OH MY GOD, JELLY!”

Nunew runs out of the room with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth, shirt half on, dragging his tote behind him. Screw that guy! It's his fault I slept late last night!

From the bed, Nat sighs and flops back onto the mattress. “He’s so in love,” he mutters to the ceiling. Then smirks. “And so doomed.”

—

Max is convinced that his best friend has gone crazy.

Oh, you don't believe him? Sure, let him get his list of reasons why he thinks the real Zee has been captured by some aliens last night.

Red Flag #1: He’s whistling at 7 in the morning

No, seriously. Max walks into the shared kitchen with one eye open and a headache still forming when he hears it, an optimistic whistle coming from someone who, just last week, slept through two alarms and nearly skipped a quiz.

Max doesn't even know what time Zee already went home last night. He was too deep in his sleep to actually give a shit about when their dorm door opened. So why the hell is Zee here in the kitchen so early?

Zee is flipping eggs in the pan. There's garlic rice steaming in a pan beside it. The table's already set. There’s even a tray of sliced fruit on the side. What is this? A hotel room service?

Max blink, rubs his eyes, trying to confirm if he's just seeing things. “What the hell is this?”

Zee, completely unfazed, glances over his shoulder and says, “Breakfast.”

“You cooked?”

Zee shrugs and continues whistling. “Felt like it.”

Red Flag #2: He “felt like it”

Zee never feels like it. Zee orders takeout when he’s hungry and barely remembers to wash his dishes. When he wants breakfast, he only grabs a cereal box and puts it straight into his mouth.

Max sits at the table, still suspicious about the whole situation. “Did you get high last night?”

“Are you insane?” Zee jabs back too quickly. Why would he even get high? Okay, maybe he is high. High on Nunew and high on love or something. But he'll never admit that to Max. God knows how much teasing he'll be tormented with. Instead, he just uno reverses his questions. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I should be the one asking you that,” Max scoffs.

“Dude, I just wanted some good breakfast for once.”

Max raises an eyebrow but says nothing. At least he'll actually get to eat real food this morning. But still, he couldn’t help but squint at him, he could tell just by how creepy Zee’s smile is that something definitely happened last night.

Red flag #3: He’s not in the gym

Normally, if Max doesn’t find Zee passed out in bed at this hour, he finds him in the campus gym already burning calories before he even gets to eat something. Max swears that the gym hates to see Zee coming.

So when Max wakes up around and finds Zee not in bed and not drenched in sweat and bragging about how many sets he did, he’s already confused. Bewildered, even.

Instead, Zee's here in the kitchen, oh, he’s done flipping eggs. But now he's doing something even more suspicious. He's leaning on the counter and staring at his phone while giggling and slapping the surface behind him. He's even biting his thumb, like that's going to help somehow. (We’ve officially lost him.)

“Are you in love or what?” Max finally asks. Seriously, Zee's behaviour is really freaking him out now. He thinks he should call for help or something.

Zee just shrugs and doesn’t respond. He doesn’t find it in himself to explain. Besides, Max already knows who’s making him act like this.

Instead, he just continues to stare at his phone and scroll to a text thread that he may or may not have memorized already.

Nhu ❤️ [12:59AM]: I couldn't sleep

Nhu ❤️ [1:01AM]: I was thinking of you

Nhu ❤️ [1:02AM]: I meant– the project. I was thinking about the project

Zee [1:03AM]: The project, huh?

Nhu ❤️ [1:04AM]: Don’t get the wrong idea, P’Zee

Zee [1:05AM]: P’Zee? I thought I was Hia?

Nhu ❤️ [1:06AM]: What you are is delusional

Nhu ❤️ [1:06AM]: Why are you even at the gym at this hour

Zee [1:07AM]: Can’t sleep. Some guy said he was thinking of me

Nhu ❤️ [1:08AM]: That guy must be crazy

Zee [1:09AM]: You’re calling yourself crazy?

Nhu ❤️ [1:10AM]: NO

Nhu ❤️ [1:10AM]: I’m not thinking about you

Nhu ❤️ [1:10AM]: I’m really thinking about the project

Nhu ❤️ [1:10AM]: We’re about to present it next week

He keeps chuckling gleefully as he scrolls down to their messages that lasted until almost 3am. They didn’t talk about anything serious, not even about what happened that Friday night. They just threw snarky remarks and jokes to each other for hours. 

The moment they started texting; Zee couldn’t find any reason to stay at the gym anymore. He packed up and left while typing on his phone, and it must’ve been his lucky day since he didn’t trip even once while walking home without paying a single shit of attention to the road. 

Max just shakes his head and goes back to devouring the food in front of him. What a lovesick fool, he mentally disparages Zee. (As if he’s not a worse one when it comes to Nat.)

—

Do you believe in the saying that when you realize you like someone, they suddenly start appearing wherever you go?

Well, Nunew didn’t before. He used to think it was just a dramatic nonsense people made up when they were down bad and delusional. Besides, he has never actually liked anyone to the extent of being down bad and delusional like those people.

But lately? Lately he’s been getting a little more convinced to believe it.

Not that he’s admitting anything at all. This isn’t him confessing that he likes Zee, gosh no. He’s just saying that the universe has been acting infuriatingly weird these days. That’s all.

Because why the hell does he keep running into Zee?! Everywhere!!

Nunew was already in a bad mood on Tuesday. Just imagine having a hard time sleeping ‘cause of a guy he couldn’t stop thinking about, then texting him just to even have a harder time sleeping ‘cause it led him to texting until 3am, and waking up late ‘cause he was dreaming of the same freaking guy! 

He rushed through brushing his teeth that morning, barely had time to fix his hair, and bolted out the door still adjusting his clothes. He barely got to his first class that morning without dying from exhaustion.

And of course, while running late (again) to his afternoon class in the hallway that same day, he just had to bump into someone.

And guess what? It was Zee! 

He was laughing at something Max just said, his one arm lazily draped over Tutor’s shoulder. He was wearing his usual black muscle tee, and his hands were covered by bandages. And dare Nunew say, he almost drooled on the spot as their gazes met.

Nunew looked away first, and mumbles a soft “Sorry,” before slipping past them quickly. His shoulder brushes someone else’s backpack, but he doesn’t stop to apologize again. For heaven’s sake, he was already running late!

And Wednesday came. He thought he’d be safe because his classes were on the far end of the campus and he guessed his schedule probably didn’t match Zee’s. But talk about luck!

When he went to the vending machine, which no one really goes to (most students prefer to buy drinks outside campus, and the only reason why Nunew goes to the machine is ‘cause he’s lazy), guess who’s already standing there? Yes. Zee. Again.

Nunew almost turned around. He had half a mind to just stay thirsty forever. But Zee noticed him, of course. Without a word, he just handed Nunew’s favorite drink to him. So suspicious, but Nunew just drank it after muttering a soft “Thanks”. He was too damn thirsty to even think about anything else. 

Zee just left after that, saying he still has a class to run to. 

By Thursday, Nunew started suspecting the universe had beef with him. 

He was supposed to eat lunch with his friends. But just like clockwork, the three of them bailed at the last minute! Nat had a quiz, Yim got dragged into a groupwork, James had to take care of something else. Nunew ended up alone in the cafeteria, which is something he’s normally used to. But everything just had been so stressful for him lately, especially all his paperworks and deadlines, so he just wanted to spend some free time with his friends. Which unfortunately, didn’t happen.

Just as he was about to stand up and go, guess who appeared in front of him again? Of course, Zee. He was already holding two packs of food and two drinks.

“Can I sit here?” he asked but he was already sat. Nunew didn’t even get to answer, just blinked at him. It felt a bit awkward, but Nunew was hungry and got free food, so he didn’t mind the silence that much. Nunew won’t admit it, but he felt so at ease by his presence.

And then came Friday. Nunew thought he might finally be free. For the first time in a while, his schedule wasn’t packed to the brim. He decided to go to the park near campus to unwind and get some fresh air. 

There was this peaceful corner by the pond where no one ever really sat, he’d brought his earphones and was fully prepared to spend the afternoon alone with his thoughts (and hopefully, not thoughts about Zee).

But of course, the universe can’t just let him go that easily.

When he was just about to get comfortable on the grass, a husky suddenly knocked into him. He almost rolled into the pond if it weren’t for the strong arms that caught him. The owner of those strong arms? You guessed it right! Zee.

Nunew panicked, obviously. He almost ran away from them, but he saw how cute the husky (and the owner) was and almost melted. He thought it can’t be that bad to spend his afternoon with a cute dog. 

“Sorry for that,” Zee said, a little breathless. “He’s just too friendly sometimes.”

“No, it’s okay. He’s cute,” Nunew giggled as the husky kept on licking his face.

Zee sat down next to him on the grass, not too close but also too close. They fell into a comfortable conversation, still not mentioning anything about their texts, that Friday night, or even about their project. They just talked about how their day went, how Zee’s mom called him earlier to walk their dog, how Nunew is so drained by all his schoolworks. 

Everything flowed easily between them, it was so easy that it made Nunew feel a bit terrified. I could get used to this.

—

The restaurant is loud and crowded and smells like sizzling meat and cheap beer. Someone’s laughing too loud, probably Nat. Someone’s arguing with the waiter about the side dish, probably James. At the corner of the long table, Zee is calmly flipping pork belly slices.

Nunew? Oh, he’s there beside Zee, sitting stiffly. He’s only been here for five minutes, and he’s already feeling overwhelmed by all the chaos.

You’re probably wondering how he got here. It all started with Nat blowing up their group chat this evening.

Nat [6:05 PM]: Jelly, where are you?

Nat [6:05 PM]: Don’t tell me you’re sleeping there in the library

Nat [6:06 PM]: Be serious, Jelly! It’s Saturday, why are you in univ?

Nat [6:05 PM]: Let’s have dinner! James is paying

James [6:07PM]: I haven’t even agreed yet

Nunew [6:10PM]: I’m tired. I want to go home and sleep

Yim [6:13PM]: If you don’t go I’ll send your embarrassing 1st year pic to P’Zee

Now, Nunew’s here, already regretting everything. From the moment he walked in and saw that it’s not their friend group alone and the only empty seat was beside Zee’s, he already knew that all of them planned this. He slumps his shoulder, already accepting his fate. At least I’ll get to eat some good meat.

Nunew doesn’t know if he’s the only one who’s noticing, or everyone else is just turning a blind eye to it, that Zee’s chopstick keeps on putting cooked meat on Nunew’s plate. He can’t help but feel flustered, the grill wasn't the sole reason why his face is turning red. Gosh, is he even cooking for others or just me?

“Okay!” James claps loudly, clearly tipsy from the beer. “It’s time for games!”

“Have you ever!” Nat declares, his face red from where his head is leaned against Max’s shoulder. “Classic rules. Just sip if you’ve done it. Alcohol if you’re brave, soda if you’re a coward.”

Nunew would rather be a coward than ever touch any alcohol again. Not after what happened last time. He sees Zee grabbing a sprite from the corner of his eyes too.

The game started with harmless questions. Have you ever cheated on a test? Have you ever skipped class and lied about it? Everyone laughed and called each other out. Tutor even admitted he once plagiarized an entire essay and got full marks for it.

Max raises his glass, face flushed. “Okay, okay. Have you ever had a crush on someone at this table?”

What an obvious question. Nat drinks first, but not without winking at Max. Max follows suit, feeling so smug and obvious. Yim looks coy but drinks too, avoiding everyone’s gaze. Tutor blinks at him bashfully, turns pink, and raises his glass to sip too.

Gosh! I knew there was something going on with those two! Nunew thinks. He’s actually having so much fun than he thought he would. This is even better than rotting on his bed tonight.

But then, Zee suddenly raises his soda, and sips casually.

Woah , Nunew’s head snaps to him. He likes someone here?  He ignores the slight pang on his chest.

He doesn’t even realize he’s the only one left who hasn’t taken a sip. Him and James, actually. But James is too busy grilling his meat to even care about who’s crushing on who right now.

Nat suddenly leans forward, grinning wickedly. “Okay. Next one, have you ever kissed a guy while drunk?” Oh no. Jelly, I hate you!

The table erupts in ooooohs and laughter. 

Zee doesn’t react, still focused on grilling meat for Nunew. But he can feel how Nunew has become so on edge beside him.

Nunew’s hand moves before he can stop himself, his imprudence is his trademark at this point. He lifts his cola, sips quietly, and sets it back down like nothing happened.

“Damn, New,” James says, raising a brow. “Storytime?”

“No,” Nunew just glares at him. There’s no way I’m telling anyone about this again.

The table has barely recovered from Nat’s question when Max, who’s already so comfortable with his beer, slams his glass down. “Oh oh oh, me next!” he declares, before grinning so mischievously. “Have you ever…begged a professor to let you be partners with someone specific?”

“OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The table explodes in laughter again, everyone already knows who he’s talking about, except oblivious little Nunew.

Max is pointing across the grill, cackling. “No but seriously, you guys should’ve seen him. He was like, ‘Prof Aof, I swear i’ll handle the whole thing if you just let me work with–”

“Max,” Zee says, flat and warning.

“ –I’m desperate, sir. Just this once–”

“Max.”

Max, finally realizing what he’s done, slowly turns to look at Zee, whose face is very calm in a dangerous way. “Oh. Oh no.”

The rest of the table is still cracking up, but they’re quick to steer away when they notice Zee not joining them. Someone clears their throat and blurts out, “Have you ever gone outside without underwear on?”

The group goes back to shouting and laughing at each other. Except the two who are suspiciously quiet.

Nunew is not paying attention to anyone anymore. His mind is filled with questions desperately looking for answers. He’s not stupid. Max’s question was clearly about Zee. And clearly not a joke with how serious Zee reacted. But why… why would he do that? 

For me?

He presses his lips together. He thinks about how Zee insisted on doing the proposal draft even though it was Nunew’s task, how he always arrives at their meeting place earlier than him, how he keeps on giving Nunew his favorite drinks and desserts, how he always treats Nunew so nicely, so carefully, so gently… 

Nunew swallows. It’s not like he hadn’t suspected it before, but he was always quick to brush it off. He doesn’t want to assume what everything means. He doesn't want to read things wrong and be stupid.

But with all those accidental meets, those fleeting glances, the way Zee didn’t push him away that night, the way he stayed up texting with him until morning, the way…

Everything slowly starts to make sense.

His heart beats a bit too loudly, his hands sweating. Everything around him seems to blur out.

Oh my god. 

Does he like me?

Chapter Text

Zee’s shoes hit the pavement in a steady rhythm, his breath uneven from exertion. It’s a Sunday morning, but he’d been running for almost an hour and a half now. He got sick of hibernating in the gym and figured he should try other methods of trying to shut his motherfucking brain up.

The early morning is crisp, the sidewalks mostly empty except for some elders watering their plants outside. His headphones are playing his playlist (named after Nunew) on shuffle, but he can’t really make up any of the songs. His mind is drifting to somewhere else. Someone else, actually.

Nunew.

He hadn’t planned to see the younger every day this week. Okay, maybe some days were on purpose. Like Thursday. And maybe Saturday. (All thanks to Nat, our bravest soldier!) But the rest of the days were just pure luck. Zee was also taken by surprise with how often they encountered each other coincidentally. But really, who was he to complain? The universe was working on his side!

But now…he can’t help but spiral again.

In all those accidental encounters, what surprised Zee the most is how Nunew hadn’t deliberately pushed him away. He didn't give icy stares and harsh avoidance. If Zee is more delusional than he already is, he would think…maybe Nunew was flustered. Maybe even shy around him?

Though honestly, it would make sense for Nunew to be abashed with him. After all, they still haven’t talked about that Friday night, or that late-night texts that never got to be continued anymore. Although Zee desperately wants to talk about it, he thinks it would be better to give Nunew space and time than potentially scare him away.

Zee presses a hand to his chest, hating how warm it feels at the thought of the younger guy. His mind shifts to the confession he’s been planning for after their presentation next week. He was trying not to get ahead of himself, he’s being patient and waiting for the right time, right moment. He’s also aware how Nunew is swamped with deadlines and stress, so he wanted to wait until their project was over so he wouldn't overwhelm him.

That was Zee’s plan. That after their presentation, he would invite Nunew for a celebratory meal, and finally say everything he’d been wanting to for years. He would confess properly and clearly, something like: I know you hate me, but I’ve liked you for a long time, and I’m sorry I messed up things with Nat, but it was never about him. It was always you. 

But Max…that stupid motherfucker…

Zee groans and slows to a walk as he recalls what happened last night.

“No but seriously, you guys should’ve seen him. He was like, ‘Prof Aof, I swear I’ll handle the whole thing if you just let me work with–”

Zee cringes at the thought of Max’s idiocy. He remembers how after that game, everything went back to normal at their table. Except… Nunew. He got even more tense and quiet than he was when he got there, and Zee couldn’t unsee how Nunew kept stealing glances at him the whole night.

When they finally called it a night, the group still bickered and threw stupid jokes at each other while packing up, not including Zee and Nunew, of course. They were on a mission to not break the silence between them, terrified that they’ll say something stupid to each other once they open their mouths.

Outside the restaurant, Zee was trying so hard to stop his mouth from running. He wanted so badly to ask Nunew if he was okay, if he could text him when he got home, if they could talk about anything. But Nat snatched Nunew away before he could even convince himself to not be a coward. 

What completely made Zee’s lungs knock out of air last night though, was… how Nunew looked back at him, gave him a short wave with a shy smile and his cheeks reddened before he left with Nat.

Zee curses under his breath, he can feel his ears turning red as a picture of Nunew cute and flushed smiling at him appears in his brain. Fuck, he was so cute. If I didn’t have a functional brain and self-control, I would've totally grabbed his face right there and smother him with kisses. Goddamn it. He’s so cute I don’t know what to do with myself.

But then, he also can’t shake off the apprehension growing in his mind. What if Nunew was just being polite? What if.. instead of being shy and flustered, he was actually uncomfortable with me? 

Zee doesn’t know what Nunew’s actually thinking. He doesn't know how Nunew took what Max had just exposed last night. He doesn’t know…if it’s right for him to even explain about it. God, he doesn’t know anything. All he knows is that he somehow needs to do something about whatever’s going on between them. He can’t just run away from his feelings forever.

When they got home last night, Zee couldn’t even muster the energy to yell at Max. He’d gone straight to bed with his heart hammering too hard to sleep, but he was also not feeling hopeless enough to go to the gym until midnight to exhaust his brain away.

But now that he gained energy from his morning run, the rage is starting to catch up with him again. His legs are aching and hes drenched in sweat, but the memory of Max’s voice replaying that goddamn have you ever question has him clenching his fists. Who even does that? Who casually outs someone’s crush in front of the person they like?! Well, he didn’t really out my feelings, but still! Nunew’s probably thinking that I’m a freaking weirdo for begging a prof like that. Max, you motherfucker will pay for this!

By the time Zee gets back to their dorm, his shirt is sticking to his back and he’s fully prepared to beat the shit out of Max. He opens the door, tosses his keys to the counter, and yells without even checking if Max is awake.

“Max, you absolute piece of shit!”

A groggy voice answers from somewhere inside. “What the fuck did I do now?”

“You know what you did.” Zee kicks off his shoes violently. “Don’t pretend you already forgot what you did last night!”

“Why the fuck are you yelling?! It’s seven in the fucking morning, you asshole!” Max appears in the living room from his room, shirtless and half-asleep, rubbing his eyes.

“The game.” Zee says, deadpan.

“Ohhh, that,” Max has a shitty smile plastered on his face, clearly enjoying seeing Zee in despair. “You’re welcome.”

“You’re welcome?” Zee blinks at him. “You’re–God, thanks for being useless, you fucker!”

Max shrugs. “Hey, I just told the truth. You’re just overreacting.”

Zee lets out a strangled noise, he’s deciding whether to pull his hair or punch Max straight in the face. “I was planning to confess after our presentation, I had the whole thing planned, Max! I had my whole speech planned! And now Nunew probably thinks I’m a desperate loser who begged his way into being partners with him–which, okay, maybe I did, but he wasn’t supposed to know that!”

Max raises his eyebrows. “I mean… he was bound to figure it out eventually.”

“It wasn’t supposed to come from your mouth, you dipshit,” Zee throws a towel at him, deciding that arguing with him isn’t really worth his time and energy. “Be grateful he didn’t leave right after hearing your stupid mouth. You’re safe for now,” he says, giving Max a last flip off before going into his room.

He’d rather spend his time researching more restaurant options to take Nunew to. (He already has ten choices in his list.)

—

It’s Monday. And it will be their last meeting for the project before their presentation tomorrow. And Nunew’s totally not freaking out. In fact, he’s actually feeling really really calm and collected, his hands are not sweating at all.

That…that’s what Nunew keeps on telling himself right now, in front of his bathroom mirror.

“You are calm,” he mutters, making eye contact with his reflection and trying to hypnotize himself. “You will be okay, Nhu. You will pull this off.”

His reflection doesn’t look convinced, it even looks like it’s mocking him. His hair’s too fluffy, his shirt suddenly looks like a bad choice, and all he wants now is to go back to his bed and cuddle with July for the next fifty years.

He groans and presses his forehead to the mirror. “Get a grip, Nhu. It’s just P’Zee…It will be okay…Just breathe.”

Right…it’s just Zee. The same guy who never gets tired of running in Nunew’s mind for weeks. The same guy who apparently begged Prof. Aof to be partners with him. The same guy who, in Nunew’s mind, presumably likes him.

After that Saturday night, Nunew should’ve had the time to figure things out. To overanalyze everything that has happened between them. From the day their project started, to that moment where Nunew found out something he never expected. He also should’ve had the time to dwell on his feelings, on how he will genuinely feel if his Zee-Likes-Nunew theory actually comes to be true.

But no. Because even on Sunday, his deadlines still couldn’t cut him any slack. He had three hellspawn essays and a group work with members he would never work with if he had a choice. Hell, he didn’t even have spare time to doomscroll on Twitter!

Nunew glances at his phone on the sink as it lights up from a Twitter notification. Shit . It’s already 2:13PM. He’s running late again! What if Zee is starting to get annoyed with him for always being late? What if Zee starts hating him too? What if he turns into an asshole again? What if–wait…why should Nunew care?

Gosh, Nhu. We’ve been through this for over so many times now. We’ll get over this for the last time. 

With one last straightening of his shirt and an exaggerated exhale, Nunew pumps his fists weakly in front of the mirror. “Fighting, Nhu,” he mutters. “You’ve survived worse. You’ve survived cleaning July’s poop on your bed. You survived taking care of Yim when he was drunk. You can survive this.” 

He snatched his bag and was about to speedwalk out of the dorm when he got reminded of something. Oh no, my inhaler. He runs back to his drawer to grab it before running out by 2:21PM.

And oh, that inhaler would probably not be useful at all.

—

The cafe bell rings at exactly 2:32PM.

Nunew stumbles in, out of breath, hair tousled from running. He’s 30 minutes late. He walks towards their table, his mind running gutters. What the hell, Nhu. How are you this incompetent and irresponsible?! What if he’s mad? What if he already went home ‘cause he’s annoyed with me? What if–

Oh. No.

Who the freak allowed him to look this hot?! Zee is sitting by the window, the sunlight hitting the lines on his face in all the right places. He’s wearing a navy blue polo, sleeves rolled making his arms look even more toned, and his top buttons undone. And what Nunew thinks should be undisputedly illegal, is how his glasses are perched lazily on the top of his head, pushing his hair back in a way that makes Nunew’s heart want to jump out his chest. Since when was he this sooo attractive?!

“You’re late,” Zee says, not even looking up from his laptop. “It’s our last meeting and you’re still late,” he mutters flatly, trying to hide how he’s very much freaking out inside over how Nunew’s perfume scent fluttered in the wind when he sat across from him.

“I–I–um. Sorry. I’m not–I mean, I am late–but I didn’t mean to be–July–she was sitting on my bag and I couldn’t–I mean, I didn’t want to disturb her.” Shit, Nhu. Couldn't you make a better excuse, huh?! Even using July! I want to cry.

Zee finally looks up.

And that was his biggest mistake ever.

Nunew’s wearing a pastel pink shirt that’s just a little oversized, and his face is the same shade of pink from the heat, or running, or whatever. Zee doesn't care. Nunew is so freaking cute and Zee wants to scream and bite his cheeks and he wants to–

“P’Zee, are you okay?” Nunew asks nervously, blinking. Is he that angry with me for being late? “You’re–uh–making a weird face.”

Zee blinks back to reality, realizes he’s staring like a freaking weirdo again. “Sorry,” he says too quickly, clearing his throat. “Let’s start running over the presentation.” That’s right, Pruk. Let’s be normal and professional.

Nunew hesitates a bit before opening his tablet and grabbing his printed script. He took his pencil case, fumbling with the zipper with shaky hands. A pen suddenly rolls off the table and drops on the floor with a clink.

Zee reaches down to get it at the same time.

Their hands touch.

Both of them freeze, their gaze meeting, and their faces just inches away from each other.

Nunew yanks his hand back and perches back up sharply, almost bumping his head on the table. “S-sorry!” Gosh, what’s wrong with me?! Why am I being so clumsy? 

Zee grasped the pen too tightly in an attempt to ground himself while sitting upright. “It’s okay. Let’s continue.” Fuck, just a bit more, Pruk. Keep your cool. 

Nunew ducks his head against his paper, mumbling his script to himself. He’s fine. Everything’s fine. They’ll just finish this run-over and he’ll finally be able to go home and never go out ever again. 

Zee tries to focus on his laptop screen, but his gaze keeps on shifting to Nunew. He’s whispering his lines softly, plump lips moving gently, hair falling across his forehead, brows knitted in focus. His cheeks are still flushed, and his lashes flutter every time he blinks down at his script. He’s just so… so freaking adorable!!!!

Zee clenches his jaw. No, Pruk. Stay professional. Don’t do it. Don’t say anything stupid. Don’t say– 

“You’re really cute when you’re shy, you know?”

Nunew turns his head to him so quickly, eyes wide. “H-huh?”

Zee immediately wants to punch himself in the face. “I–Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable–” What the hell, Zee. You’re a fucking idiot.

“No! No, I’m not uncomfortable! I mean–I am but–not in a bad way?! I mean–not like that! I’m fine!” Nunew covers his face with both hands and groans. He fixes his posture and clears his throat, ignoring how hot his face feels right now. “Let–let’s just finish rehearsing the presentation.” I want to go home…

Nunew forces his eyes back to his paper and reads the same sentence three times without processing it. His whole body is buzzing, and he doesn’t know how long he’ll be able to control it before he combusts and bursts out of embarrassment. But his brain just won’t shut up!

Zee called you cute. Zee likes you.

Someone save Nunew from himself, please. Because now, all he wants to do is rip his hair off and open his skull and take his brain and throw it across the Pacific Ocean just so it would leave him alone for once Let’s focus, please. Just this once, brain. Function properly for once!

Zee watches him again, failing to concentrate on his own script for the nth time. His legs are bouncing under the table, and his hands are clasping his thighs tightly. He is LITERALLY holding himself back from crawling over the desk and squishing Nunew’s cheeks and drowning him with kisses. 

Don’t do it. You’ve done enough stupid things, Pruk. Keep your mouth shut. Don’t pinch his cheeks. Don’t lean over. Don’t–

“Can I pinch your cheeks?”

Nunew whips his head up for the second time. “What?”

Zee wants to pinch your cheeks. Zee likes you. Shut up, Nunew’s brain!

“I–Uh–Forget it,” Zee mutters, his hands fumbling with his red ears. “I didn’t say anything.” Sure you didn’t, idiot.

Nunew opens his mouth even if he can’t find the right words to say, but Zee’s already pulling something out from his bag and pushing it across the table. 

“Uh–I got you something,” Zee says, avoiding Nunew’s eyes. Thank God I bought this online the other day and can distract him from whatever just came out of my mouth.

Nunew stares down at the box. Nama Chocolate… Royce… What the fuck?!

“This…is for me?” Nunew looks up at him, eyes wide in disbelief. This is so freaking expensive! Gosh, who even buys this so casually?!

“Yes?” Zee chuckles, totally not gooning at how cute Nunew’s doe eyes are. God, I’d give him anything he wants if he asks me. Even a house or a car. “I figured you’re already sick of eating cafe desserts. Maybe you’d want something new?”

“You’re insane, P’,” Nunew mutters, leaning his head back down to ogle the box of chocolates, before peeking inside for a second. “I don’t even know what to say.” It looks so yummy… I’m gonna devour you later!

Zee bought you expensive chocolate. Zee likes you. Nunew doesn’t even care about his brain anymore. The dessert in front of him just makes him want to drool…

“You don’t have to say anything,” Zee says, and doesn't even make an effort to hide his growing grin anymore. “Though if you really want to thank me, you can call me Hia again.” His smile turns into a teasing smirk. Good one, Pruk.

Nunew freezes, his heart almost stopped beating. “I–did not–! I never called you that!” Why does he even remember that?!

“Oh, you did,” Zee teases, having so much fun seeing Nunew pretend that he doesn’t remember anything. “Hmmm, I clearly remember hearing you mumbling ‘Hia…’ before you fell asleep that night when you were drunk.”

“I did not sound like that!” Nunew’s cheeks even feel hotter at how Zee just casually mentioned that night. That freaking forbidden night! 

“So you do remember it?” Zee wiggled his eyebrows, still has an infuriating smirk plastered on his face.

Nunew grabs the chocolate box and hides behind it. “I–No! I don’t–Let’s not talk about it now.” Gosh, are we really having this conversation now? We have a presentation to practice

Zee chortles, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he watches the younger try to hide his face. “Sure. Let’s talk about it some other time.” He hesitates for a while before opening his mouth again. “But actually…I liked it. I liked it when you called me Hia.”

Nunew peeks out from behind the box with curious eyes. “You..did?”

“Hm-hm,” Zee hums softly. I like everything you do . “You can call me Hia if you want. As long as I always get to call you Nhu from now on.” Smart move, Pruk. A win-win situation.

Zee wants you to call him Hia. Zee likes you.

“I–Wha–That’s–” Nunew scrambles over his own words, his brain blatantly shaking his shoulders now.

“Too much?” Zee asks quietly, afraid that he might be crossing the line.

“No! I mean–maybe? I don’t know!” Nunew’s voice cracks in a humiliating way, slapping a hand over his face again. God, he wants to curl into a ball and roll out the door. He doesn’t know how to respond. Sure, he did impose on himself that he will only use that endearment for his future boyfriend. But rules are meant to be broken…right? It can’t be that bad.

You want to call Zee Hia. You like Zee.

“Fine,” Nunew mumbles through his hands, ignoring whatever his brain is trying to tell him this time. He’ll deal with that later. “Just…don’t say it too loud, okay?”

Zee’s smile softens, warm and adoring. “Deal…Nhu.”

It took them another ten minutes of teasing and avoiding eye contact before they were finally forced to return to reality and focus on their presentation, which, by the way, is half their grade this sem! (And Nunew didn’t even get to use his inhaler.)

—

By the time Nunew gets to his dorm, it’s already getting dark. 

He tosses his bag to the floor and collapses onto his bed. He still had two deadlines and another essay waiting for him tonight. But he can’t do anything. Not when his brain is refusing to think about anything else but Zee.

This is like a deja vu of last week, except what he’s feeling now is utterly different from then (and Nat won’t be here to comfort him anymore, he texted that he will be home late). 

And though he’s still crashing out over the same guy, his thoughts of him… have completely morphed into something more treacherous. 

Do I… do I like him?

His mind is filled with Zee. His face, his body, his voice. His glasses. The way his teeth popped out like a bunny when he smiled. The way Zee lent him his umbrella that day. The way he took Nunew home when he was drunk. The way he begged the prof just to be partners with Nunew. The way he casually gave Nunew expensive desserts and chocolate… 

He also recalls their accidental encounters last week. How each time he was alone, Zee kept showing up in ways Nunew didn’t expect. And tho he knows he should be annoyed with it, he actually feels... so comfortable with him. So comfortable even with his family dog, Prik-num! 

A smile subconsciously creeps up Nunew’s face at the thoughts. He groans into his pillow and kicks his legs, because what the hell is this feeling?! It’s warm and fluttery and incredibly annoying. Every time he remembers Zee’s voice calling him Nhu, he feels something warm pooling on his stomach. Is this diarrhea? Or constipation?

“This is stupid,” he mutters aloud as he rolls over, grabs his phone, and opens Google. There’s only one way to find out .

Search: Signs you like someone

The results are mocking him.

1. You think about them constantly and smile at the thought.

Shut up.

2. You get nervous or excited around them.

I’m not excited to be with him at all! Uhm. Maybe just a bit.

3. You go out of your way to make them happy.

He bought me chocolate?? That’s not me, that’s him!

4. You want to take care of them.

Well… I did take care of him when he had a fever. 

5. You imagine a future with them.

Nope. No no no. That’s too much.

6. You want to call them with a special nickname.

What the hell!!!!

Nunew throws his phone beside him and buries his face back to his pillow. This isn’t helping at all! This is ridiculous. Absolutely insane. He can’t afford to fall in love at all, he has a 1,500-word essay due in three hours and Zee Pruk’s stupid voice is stuck in his head.

A sudden ping! from his phone made him jolt. He leans his head sideways and grabs it. Wow. Do we have telepathy now? 

Hia :D [6:58PM]: Got home safe. Practice your lines, okay? Don’t get distracted, Nhu.

Nunew suddenly regrets changing Zee’s contact name on his phone when he was on the bus earlier. Now even that name on the top of his phone is mocking him! 

Don't get distracted, huh? You're the one distracting me, you idiot!

Nunew stares at the message, rereads it five times, and then types out a reply. Deletes it. Types another one. Deletes again. He settles for reacting with a thumbs-up, because if he types anything else, he might just say something stupid and imprudent.

He tosses his phone again, this time farther. It hits the pillow and bounces back onto his face, then plops down on the floor. Great. Even his phone hates him.

He groans. “I’m doomed.”

He leans down to grab his phone, when his gaze suddenly turns to July, who's sprawled out on the floor.

“Do you think I’m crazy?”

July just blinks slowly and flicks her tail.

“You don't care about me at all!” Nunew fake cries to get July’s attention, but she just perched up and walked to the windowsill. “Even my cat hates me!!!” He wails before dramatically flopping back to his bed.

Nunew kicks his blanket off. Then kicks it back on. Then groans into his pillow again.

He's having his worst crash out ever and he still hasn’t written a single word for his essay. He peeks at the time. 7:26PM. Why is time running so fast?!

“I’m such an idiot,” he mutters, rolling over to stare at the ceiling. “Who falls for their presentation partner the night before the actual presentation?”

Nunew lifts his hand dramatically into the air. “Wasn’t I just hating on him weeks ago?!” He glares at the ceiling. “What the hell happened… I don't know.”

He lets out a soft sigh.“...But he’s so nice to me.”

“He’s so… kind and hot and gentle and good at everything. And I’m just—” He gestures vaguely at himself. “This… I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore.”

July yawns in the windowsill.

“Glad to know you care, July” he deadpans. He buries his face into his pillow, swearing that this will be the last time and he'll finally work on his pendings after two minutes.

He knows he should move now. He knows he should write something, anything, if not for his grade, then at least to survive tomorrow's presentation.

But all he can think about is Zee and his stupid message.

Don’t get distracted, Nhu.

Nunew sighs for the nth time, already surrendering to whatever his mind wants him to think about Zee. He's tired, and he can't even talk properly anymore, he's way too damn distracted.

“Too late, Hia. Way too late,” he mumbles to the pillow.

—

Nunew’s search history that night:

• Signs you like someone
• How to act around someone you like
• Essay word counter
• Should I confess to my crush
• Royce chocolate price Thailand
• How to know if my crush actually likes me back
• Paraphrasing tool
• Confession ideas

Chapter Text

The hallway outside the presentation room is quiet.

Nunew’s mind is not.

He's been sitting with Zee side by side for the past thirty minutes, rehearsing their lines before their turn. There is still one pair ahead of them which means they have at least twenty minutes left to prepare.

Nunew’s trying his best to focus on the words on his cue cards, but nothing is making sense at all. His chest is tight, his jaw is tense, his head is pounding, his hair is sticking to his forehead in a way that makes him want to pull his hair off.

He hadn’t gotten a blink of sleep last night, not with the combination of all the stress and pressure he's been trying to bury in the back of his mind, his unnerving fatigue that hasn't gone away since last week, and this looming presentation. Not to mention how half his mind was occupied with thoughts of the guy beside him all night. God, he was so so distracted.

And now, his brain is running on one toast of bread and a single braincell. Seriously, he doesn’t know how he'll make it out of this presentation alive. He really should've tried to even take a nap earlier, so he wouldn't have to feel so terrible right now. All he wants now is to go home and cry.

“Nhu?” 

Zee's face is filled with worry as he glances at the younger. They have been exchanging their lines for the past few minutes, but Nunew has now been staring at his card for five minutes straight.

The moment they met at the hall earlier, Zee already noticed how bad Nunew’s shape is. He looks so tired and drained, and Zee desires nothing but to pull him into his arms to let him rest. But of course, he can’t just do that. If only he could...

"Nhu," he calls again, even softer this time, before softly poking the younger's arm. Nunew’s gaze is still glued to his card, but his hands are starting to shake. "Hey, are you with me?"

Nunew, finally being pulled out of his trance, looks up to him with glassy eyes.

"Shit–Nhu, hey, are you crying?" Zee panics, dropping his cards beside him and turning towards Nunew, who now looks like he’s seconds away from breaking down.

"N–no," Nunew tries to deny, but his voice comes out shaky and broken. He attempts to control his tears by pressing his hands to his eyes, but it does little to no help. "No, I–I'm okay. Just tired."

"Nhu, are you pushing yourself too hard?" Zee’s heart twists painfully at the sight. It's always the excruciating pain of seeing the younger cry in front of him. He knows how Nunew always tries his best in everything he does, but seeing him in this state just makes him want to scold the younger for being too hard on himself.

Nunew doesn't say anything first, just continues wiping his tears with the back of his hand. "I–it's okay. I'm okay." I just need this day to be over. I just need everything to be over.

Zee swallows. His hands are twitching in his lap. He wants to help, but—God, how is he supposed to do this without making things weird?

"Can I... can I touch you?" Zee murmurs hesitantly, afraid to cross whatever the lines are between them. But he can’t help it, he knows how much the younger needs support right now.

Nunew stays quiet, but slowly nods after a while. He desperately needs something to ground him, even if it's his Just-Last-Night-Crush touching him.

Zee’s hands linger in the air hesitantly. Where is he even supposed to put his hands? Should he hug him? Pat his back? Hold his hand?

Eventually, he reaches out and rests his palm awkwardly against the side of Nunew’s head. He gently tugs him closer, letting the younger rest his head on his shoulder. Fuck. His head is on my shoulder. Shit. I can smell his shampoo. Fuck. What should I do? Think, Pruk. Think.

Zee scoots closer and his hand hovers for a minute before he starts to softly pat the younger's head, then slowly threads his fingers through his hair.

No one says a word, but everything feels so… natural. All the anxiousness and awkwardness Zee was feeling vanished into thin air all at once. Their bodies fit so comfortably, it feels as if it was written in the prophecy for them to be together like this. Zee would stop the time if he could.

Nunew melts beside him like a cat curling up on a warm lap. Zee’s fingers on his hair feels… so stupidly good. So comfortable. So warm. And for a moment, Nunew almost forgets why he was crying in the first place. All he wants now is to stay here forever, safely tucked into Zee’s side.

He flutters his eyes shut as his tears start to dry, letting out a soft long sigh he didn’t know he was holding. Every worry and every weight stuck in his chest soon felt lighter, and even if Zee's not saying a word, Nunew knows what his actions are trying to convey. I'm here for you. 

Nunew’s breath slows down as it unconsciously syncs with Zee’s. He never knew that resting on someone's shoulder would feel better and more comfortable than his bed, but he prays no one would take this moment away from him.

Nothing good lasts forever though.

“Panich and Perdpiriyawong!” 

The call from a student assistant made them both jolt away from each other’s warmth. 

Nunew wipes his face with his sleeves, perching up and straightening his shirt. He clears his throat, before mumbling a soft “Thanks” to Zee without meeting his eyes. Gathering his things, he stands up and waits for the older to follow. Gosh, what just happened…?? Why did I cry in front of him again?! You’re an embarrassment, Nhu!

Zee rises slowly, brushing imaginary dust from his jeans as he tries to calm his frantic heart going crazy over whatever just happened. Damn. His hair is so soft.

A comfortable silence surrounds them as they walk toward the presentation room, Zee tailing behind Nunew. But as they reach the door, Zee suddenly leans in closer, and whispers, “You’ve got this, Nhu.”

Nunew glances at him briefly, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed. His lips tugs into a shy smile, hesitating for a while before mumbling softly.

“We've got this, Hia.”

—

“…And that’s why emotional storytelling remains one of the most effective tools in modern marketing,” Zee finishes, his voice steady, clear, and confident as he glances at the audience.

They’re presenting in front of Prof Aof, along with about twenty other students seated in rows. Most of them are classmates, some half-asleep, some glued to their phones, but a few are actually paying attention, jotting things down or watching with mild interest.

Nunew steps forward, cue cards long forgotten in his hands. “Because people don’t remember numbers,” he says, holding the room’s attention with his confidence. (Like he wasn't just crying on his crush's shoulder minutes ago.)

“They remember how you made them feel.”

The sound of applause made Nunew’s cheeks flush, making him glance at Zee just to catch him already staring at him. They gave each other an endearing and proud smile. 

“Panich and Perdpiriyawong, that was incredible,” Prof Aof says, scribbling something on the grading sheet. “Best structure I’ve seen today.”

Zee smiles with a quick nod, but Nunew is already putting his palms together to ‘wai’ and bowing in flustered gratitude.

The moment they step down from the front of the class, a ripple of chatter follows them.

They settle back into the seats where some of Nunew’s friends are still clapping at them. Nunew sits beside Nuchy, with Zee following and sitting next to the younger. Ton and Jab are behind their seats, still applauding enthusiastically. Almost instantly, they got bombarded with praises.

“Dude!” Ton leans over with wide eyes. “You guys killed that.”

“Holy shit, New!” Jab cuts in from behind them. “I knew we couldn't stand a chance against you guys! We just know yall got the highest score.”

Nuchy passes Nunew a water bottle. “New, you looked like a whole different person up there. I almost got scared with how assertive you were.”

Zee nods, taking the bottle from Nunew and uncapping it before putting it back to his hand. Nunew, still dazed from their presentation, didn't notice anything and just drank.

“Right?” Jab grins. “Kinda hot, honestly.”

“What?!” Nunew chokes on his water, coughing uncontrollably while trying to stop his laughter. Zee immediately leans closer to pat his back.

“I’m just saying!” Jab laughs. “You surprised us.”

Zee chuckles lightly, shaking his head. He should be basking in the praise (and in seeing Nunew glow with happiness and pride.) But his eyes flick up, and he sees him.

That freaking guy.

They’ve never really spoken, he and that guy. There was never a need. They didn’t move in the same circles, and up until this semester, Zee barely paid attention to anyone outside his own close-knit group. But that damn guy kept popping up, always hovering around Nunew when Zee passed by their cluster of friends on campus. Always standing so close to him, ruffling his hair, putting his arm around his shoulder.

Zee had told himself it wasn’t his business. He wasn’t even supposed to care.

And besides, he barely knew any of Nunew’s friends back then. He only caught glimpses from across benches, corridors, sometimes while walking past the library courtyard, always pretending not to look, even when his eyes searched for that familiar brown hair and shy smile.

Also, he’d seen Nunew with Nat and his circle from other departments more often than he’d seen the younger with his class friends.

They didn’t do their project in school, anyway. Always the café, and always just the two of them.

So it made sense, right? That he didn’t know their names until now. That this whole group of people cheering Nunew feels a little foreign to Zee. He doesn't feel that uncomfortable though, they all seemed fine with a stranger sitting with them. At least not until that guy approached their seats.

Zee’s already wary when he stops in front of their row, gaze flicking toward the seat beside Nunew, occupied, inconveniently, by Nuchy.

“Hey, Nuch, scoot over for me, yeah?”

“Oh hey, Nuer,” Nuchy blinks up at him. “What'd you say?”

Zee squints at him. Nuer, huh? What an infuriating name for an infuriating guy.

Nuer gives Nuchy a charming smile. “I need to talk to New.”

Nuchy rolls her eyes “You need to sit next to him just to talk?” But she stands up anyway, gathering her things to sit beside Ton behind. “You’re so dramatic.”

Nuer doesn't jab back, already sliding into her seat before it’s fully vacated. He adjusts it slightly (closer to Nunew than necessary) and rests his arm on the backrest casually.

Zee stares. The air around them is shifting.

Nunew blinks in surprise, his face already pulling into a confused smile. “Nuer?”

“Hey,” Nuer says, a flirty and charming grin plastered on his face. “You were incredible up there.”

“Oh, stop,” Nunew giggles, covering half his face with the bottle. Leave it to Nunew to be clueless and naive when people are clearly flirting with him. “You’re all making fun of me today.”

“Dead serious.” Nuer’s voice dips lower, his gaze going from Nunew’s eyes to his lips. “I couldn't take my eyes off of you. So pretty.”

Zee’s spine straightens. His fist curling tight against his thigh. What the fuck is this guy's problem?

The other three behind them are downright engrossed in their own conversation, something about how they 100 percent bombed their own presentations. They're heedless to the tense atmosphere forming in front of them.

“Wha—shut up!” Nunew hides behind the water bottle again, cheeks flushing pink. “What are you even saying?!”

“Just the truth,” Nuer says smoothly, smirking. He leans closer, mumbling too loudly for it to be considered a whisper. “So damn cute and smart.”

Nunew’s eyes widen, taken aback by the sudden proximity. He slaps Nuer’s arm playfully while giggling. “Stop it!”

“What? I'm just saying the truth.” Nuer says with his eyes locked on Nunew’s lips. “Especially those lips. So pretty, New.”

Zee stares at Nunew’s hand on Nuer’s arm, the tips of his ears burning. He shifts in his seat, trying his best to stop his hands from doing something incredibly stupid. Like, you know, grab Nuer’s collar and throw him across the room. Clearly he's too sober for that.

Zee’s gaze locks on Nuer, and in that exact moment, Nuer glances over at him.

Nuer’s smile turns into a smirk. He definitely knows what he's doing. And he definitely doesn't want to know what would happen if he keeps on getting on Zee's nerves. If looks could kill, Nuer would've been splattered on the floor minutes ago.

Zee looks away instantly. His jaw flexes, tongue poking against the inside of his cheek in pure attempt to hide his rage. This motherfucker.

Nunew, of course, is oblivious. “You’re seriously so dramatic,” he says, laughing again.

“And you’re seriously too cute for your own good,” Nuer replies, and oh, he's so utterly well aware that Zee is throwing sharp daggers at him right now.

Zee exhales sharply through his nose.

He has five choices:

1. Punch Nuer straight in the face
2. Punch a wall
3. Carry Nunew in his shoulders and take him home
4. Shut the fuck up ‘cause he has zero rights to be jealous
5. Get out of here and let Nunew have fun with his friends

The little self control left in him immediately crossed the first three options out. 

Zee grabs his bag, slinging it over his shoulder with a little too much force. He doesn’t say goodbye to anyone, not even Nunew, and heads straight for the door. Call him immature, but damn he really is.

“Hia?” Nunew calls after him, standing up. “Where are you going?”

Zee doesn’t stop walking. “Out.”

“Wait–” Nunew hurries after him, weaving through the rest of the lingering classmates after waving bye to his friends. He finally catches up in the hallway, slightly breathless. “Are you mad at me?”

Zee halts in his tracks. Nunew’s chasing after him and he has no guts to keep walking away. He turns just enough to glance at Nunew, brows pulling in confusion.

“No,” he mutters. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“You left without saying a word.”

Zee exhales, looking anywhere but at him. Him and his immaturity will get him nowhere. “It’s nothing. I’m just…hungry.” I’m fucking jealous and I can’t stand the sight of other people flirting with you.

Nunew perks up immediately at the thought of food. “Oh! Me too.”

Zee looks at him. And damn it, of course he’s smiling like that. Of course his hair’s all fluffy and his cheeks are still flushed from earlier and he’s just… so freaking pretty. Fuck, I can't even blame Nuer. How is Zee supposed to stay mad when Nunew looks like that?

“You wanna go eat together?” Nunew asks, bouncing on his heels a little. He looks up expectantly to the older. “I mean, if you're not busy or anything–”

Zee blinks. He had changed his plan of asking Nunew for a meal after their presentation. He was supposed to ask Nunew to dinner tomorrow , once he's gotten proper rest after everything. Even if he already has the macarons and a necklace in his bag, seeing the younger's state earlier today punches something in his gut. Nunew needs to rest before anything. (Especially before a love confession!)

Zee tries to stay indifferent. He really does. But he's just a guy, a very weak guy, and he has no fight against Nunew's doe eyes. He sighs through his nose. “Don't you wanna rest first? You're probably tired.”

Nunew shrugs. “I’ll nap after. My stomach’s louder than my brain right now.” I want to celebrate with you first.

How can Zee say no? When Nunew’s rocking on his heels and looking so damn excited to eat with him? “Yeah. Sure.” I was supposed to be the one asking him for a meal. Damn it.

Nunew beams. “Yay! I thought you were gonna ditch me or something.”

Zee starts walking again, slower this time. He's sure he'll melt right there and then if he spends a few more minutes looking at Nunew. “As if I could.” 

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

Nunew skips a little to catch up, walking beside him with that ridiculous sunshine energy radiating off him like always. Zee wants to keep him in his pocket and never let him out, but he decides he's not that insane.

He thinks, Okay. Fine. The plan’s still on.

Except, well. The sky outside is looking dangerously gray.

—

It's always the fucking rain.

Zee’s thoughts are all over the place as he unlocks the door to his dorm, stepping aside to let Nunew in first.

How the hell did they even get here?

It's really the fucking rain’s fault. They had agreed to go to a diner near the campus, but the moment they're out of the building, the rain just started pouring hard.

Zee doesn’t know who in his ancestors are punishing him like this, but he really should go and talk to them. ‘Cause why the hell would it rain exactly when both of them didn't bring any umbrellas?! The weather was just fine this afternoon, and it really decided to fuck up the moment they're out?

Zee tried to negotiate and ask Nunew if they can just wait for the rain to stop, but it's already getting darker and the younger had nothing in his digestive system but a piece of bread. His stomach also growled loudly when Zee mentioned the potential delay of food, by the way.

They weighed the options: (1) Still go to the diner, but they will be drenched and it will be humiliating to eat there (2) Ask Nunew’s friends for an umbrella, but Zee would rather die than see Nuer’s face again (3) Stay in campus and eat cafeteria food, but Nunew’s stomach didn’t seem glad to hear that.

They only had two options left; Nunew’s dorm, or Zee’s dorm. The older’s place is closer, though they still have to run in the rain for like twenty minutes. Both of their logics were thrown out the door, and the only thing left in their lovesick minds is how romantic it will be to run in the rain together.

They were right, it was romantic. They had so much fun laughing while running like idiots on the streets. But Zee is certain they should've thought more thoroughly before running out like that.

Because now, the floor is drenched everywhere. Zee swears under his breath, it’s gonna be a headache to clean this later. 

But when he glances at Nunew who’s now shivering quietly in Zee’s hoodie (he lent him as an attempt to protect him from the rain), he guesses all that cleaning will be freaking worth it.

Zee shuts the door behind them with a sigh, flicking on the lights. “Max’s out til late,” he mumbles. He doesn’t know why that was the first sentence that came to his brain, but he’s not implying anything at all! Not that they’re alone here for the second time and that they’re free to do whatever they wan– Hey, what the hell are you thinking?

“Do you want to shower first?” he asks the younger.

Nunew nods sheepishly. “If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t–I mean, yeah. Sure. Towels are in the cabinet, second door. I’ll grab some dry clothes for you. Wait here,” he rambles, sprinting to his room before Nunew gets to respond.

Nunew stands in the middle of the living room awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of the hoodie. He’s here again… but the situation is not the same anymore. Does that make things better? He suddenly gets hyperaware. Holy shit. I’m here at my crush’s place. Alone. And wet. What the hell, Nhu?!

Zee is catching his breath when he comes back with the clothes. “Here. Those are the smallest ones I could find. No offense,” he says while trying to fight his giggle. “The bathroom’s just right there.”

Nunew just glances at him and takes the shirt and pants, too flustered and shy with his thoughts earlier. “Thanks,” he mumbles as he walks away. Calm down, heart! It’s just his clothes!

The door clicks shut behind Nunew, and Zee exhales all the tension he’s been holding since the moment they entered the flat. He stares blankly at the damp floor, the wet trails the younger left, and–

“Oh, shit.”

The macarons. The necklace. In his bag!

Zee rushes to his bag that he dropped on the floor earlier and unzips it. The macaron box is slightly dented and utterly soggy, probably from when he used the bag to shield Nunew’s head from the rain earlier. The pastel treats have somehow survived, but they’re all smushed together.

“Great,” he mutters. It’s okay. I can just buy another.

The necklace box, thank God, is still intact. He opens it and stares in silence. The tiny silver chain with a pearl pendant is still there, even if the inside of the box is slightly damp. 

Zee groans, flopping onto the floor and massaging his temples. He should calm his shit down, the world isn’t ending and he still has other chances to give those gifts. In the grand scheme of things, what matters is that he’ll actually get to spend more time with Nunew today.

He’ll just have to sweep his plan under the rug and figure out when to find the right moment to confess some other time. He was about to lean his arm back on the floor when he suddenly heard the bathroom lock click. Shit .

Zee scrambles to grab both the necklace and macaron cluttered in front of him. Some macaron crumbles slip out. He grabs it hurriedly, shoves it back into the soggy box, then yanks his bag open and tosses them inside. 

The zipper gets stuck, of course. He tugs at it, curses under his breath, and finally gets it shut just in time to stand up, turn around… and freeze.

Nunew. Drowning in his clothes. Fuck.

The younger’s hair is still damp, little droplets running down the side of his face, and his cheeks are flushed either from the heat of the shower or from embarrassment. He’s cutely fiddling with the hem of the shirt, its collar hanging on below his collarbone. 

It’s not even anything remotely suggestive, but Zee can feel something coiling inside him. Something that he shouldn’t be thinking about. His body is burning in spite of his still damp clothes from the rain. Damn it.

Nunew glances up, eyes wide. “Is it okay?” he asks quietly, gripping the hem even tighter. Gosh. Why is it so awkward?

Zee opens his mouth but nothing’s coming out. Shit. Say something, dumbass!

“I–I should shower. Before I get sick. Again. Like last time.Yeah,” he blurts out, already walking backwards and hardly tripping over the towel on the floor. “You–uh. You sit. Make yourself at home. Watch something. Or–or not. I’ll be quick. Just wait here.”

Zee vanishes into his room for a moment, then resurfaces with his clothes. He doesn’t say a word nor glance back at Nunew before disappearing into the bathroom.

Nunew, bless his heart, just sits quietly on the couch, biting his lip to hide a smile. He’s so cute… His ears are so red and he’s so cute stuttering.. Gosh, calm down, Nhu. He presses both of his hands on his warm cheeks as he tries to compose himself.

He pulls his knees up to his chest and breathes in deep. Zee’s scent is clinging to the shirt. If you lean close enough, you’ll basically hear Nunew purring. Smells so good…

A sudden ring from his bag on the coffee table made him jolt. He picks his phone up, kinda annoyed ‘cause he got pulled out of his relaxed state. He was so close to falling asleep!

Jelly 🍮 calling….

Nunew hesitates for a while before swiping to answer it. He was just about to explain that he will be home late today when Nat’s loud voice rang up in his ears, making him wince.

“ Where are you?!” Nat asks, not angry but really concerned and thrown off. Both of them always let each other know when one’s coming home late beforehand, but Nunew was too distracted to even open his phone earlier. “ Didn’t you say you'd be home after the presentation?”

Nunew glances at the bathroom door, the sound of the shower running is too… unsubtle. “I, uh… didn’t notice the time. Got caught in the rain.”

“It’s still pouring. You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m… somewhere dry.”

The other line stays silent for a minute. “...Jelly, why are you being so suspicious as hell? ”

Nunew bites back a smile. He knows he can never win against Nat’s nosy ass no matter what excuse he’ll come up with. “Don’t start.”

“Why do I feel like you’re saying that from someone’s place? ” Nat pauses. “ Wait. Are you?”

Nunew doesn’t answer right away. 

“ Don’t tell me… You’re with him, aren't you? ”

“Don’t freak out.”

“ GOSH! I knew it! Wait. Is this the HIM him? As in the HIM ?”

Nunew sighs, Nat never fails at being so dramatic. “Yes. I’m at P’Zee’s.”

“ Oh my god ,” Nat mutters, clearly stunned. “ You’re in his place. You didn’t tell you were in his place! ”

“I didn’t plan this, okay? It started raining, we ran, and we ended up here.”

“You ran in the rain? Don’t tell me.. You’re in his clothes now?”

“...Yes?”

“ Gosh, Jelly! ”

Nunew leans back on the couch and stares at the ceiling. “Can we not make this a big deal?”

“ It is a big deal!”

“ …Wait. Are you okay?” Nat asks, softer this time. He must've sensed that Nunew’s worrying a lot just by his silence.

“Yeah,” Nunew replies quietly. “It’s… actually nice.”

Nat hums. “ Alright. Be safe. Don’t overthink too much. ”

“Too late.”

“ Good. That means you like him .”

Nunew doesn’t say anything. How can he even deny that now? 

“ Call me if you need me to fetch you, okay? ”

“Mhm.”

“ And Jelly ?”

“Yeah?”

“ Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do .”

“What?” Nunew is baffled with Nat’s blunt warning. “We both know you'd do worse things than me!”

Nat snorts. “Okay. Okay. But don't forget to wear a condo–”

Nunew ends the call, throwing his phone lightly beside him. He can feel his cheeks getting even hotter from what Nat had just said. Damn you, Jelly!

Now he actually needs to meditate to clear his mind! Nunew shifts to sit cross-legged, before placing the back of his hands on his knees. He closed his eyes and started deep breathing. Okay. Let's inhale, exhale. We're not thinking about that. We're innocent and pure. Yes.

The bathroom door suddenly clicks open, making Nunew jerk and turn towards the sound. 

And damn, he really should've kept his eyes closed.

Because the sight in front of him right now makes every ounce of his composure pack up and leave.

Oh no. No no no no.

Zee has a towel slung over one shoulder, damp hair still dripping as he rakes a hand through it. The sleeveless black shirt clings to him, loose at the hem but tight enough at the chest and arms to make Nunew’s lungs run out of air. And those grey sweatpants–

Nunew’s eyes drop. Fuck! He snapped his head away so fast he heard his neck crack. Fuck those sweatpants. Why is it so thin? I don't even want to think about what's under those! Doesn’t he care about my sanity?

He presses his lips together hard before looking down on his lap. Breathe. Be normal. Don’t look. Do not look.

But he feels the older's presence approaching him slowly, he can hear unhurried footsteps padded by the carpet. He doesn't even need to look to know that Zee's probably looking so fucking hot drying his hair right now.

“Comfy?” Zee asks casually.

Nunew nods, too quickly. “Yeah. Fine. It’s fine. All good.”

Zee hums, steps even closer.

Nunew glances up and stares straight ahead, forcing his face to stay neutral. He’s failing. He knows he’s freaking failing. His cheeks are burning, and he can feel Zee everywhere around him.

Zee dropped the towel onto the coffee table and stepped closer. “Why are you all red?”

“I'm not.” 

Zee walked around the table, eyes still fixed on him, and then, of course, his ancestor decides to curse him again.

The world seemed to slow down as his foot hit the edge of the rug, his balance tipping.

He fell forward.

Straight onto Nunew.

Zee’s hand catches the backrest behind the younger's shoulder while the other plants itself right next to his hip. Without control, his knee knocks hard into Nunew’s thigh as he steadies himself.

“Shit–” Zee exhaled, breath fanning over Nunew’s cheek. Fuck. Fuck.

Both of them just completely stopped breathing. Their faces are so close, too close, and their noses are almost touching. 

Zee shifts, trying to ease the pressure on his wrist. But that was the worst move ever. 

Nunew suddenly feels something hard against his leg. And he isn't sure if he's just imagining it. It can't be, right…? Why is it so.. big??? Why is it getting bigger?!

His eyes go wide for half a second before he slams them shut, willing himself not to make a sound, not to move a muscle, not to react to the very obvious problem currently pressing against his leg through the thin fabric of those sweatpants.

Zee doesn’t move either. He thinks his ancestors might actually be helping him shoot his shot.

He’s hovering, breath brushing against Nunew’s lips instead of his cheek. His gaze flicks to the younger's closed eyes, then back to his lips. Goddamn those lips! It's too tempting it's actually unfair, and just one more second of this and he’s going to throw every last shred of self-control out the window and never look back.

Hesitantly, he pulls his hand back from the couch and settles it gently on Nunew’s jaw. His thumb brushes the skin just beneath his ear.

Zee watches closely, waiting for a sign, a flinch, a word, anything. But Nunew doesn’t move nor lean away. His breath just quickens, and Zee doesn’t know if it’s out of fear or excitement.

Nonetheless, the younger doesn’t push him away.

Zee leans in closer, ready to exercise his free will the way he wants and risk everything else. He was about to close his eyes when suddenly,

GRRRRRRRRRKHHHHHH

Nunew’s stomach growled loudly.

Zee freezes, eyes flicking down in disbelief, then back to Nunew’s face.

“…Shit. Sorry,” he mumbles, instantly pulling back just a little to give Nunew a bit more space, while his hand lingers for a second longer against his jaw before he retracts it completely.

“I didn’t mean to—” He clears his throat, looking away for the first time realizing just how close they were and how he almost just ruined everything between them for the nth time. He scrambles to stand up and straightens his shirt.

Nunew opens his eyes slowly, blinking up at him with his entire face still flushed, his lips slightly parted.

Neither of them says a word as they both try to get their shit together from their almost-kiss.

“...We should go eat.” Zee says eventually, voice lower than usual.

Nunew made another mistake of dropping his gaze down. Because he sees it again. And it's gotten even… more… palpable. He groans and covers his face with both hands, muttering something incoherent.

Zee's thrown off as he tried to make up what Nunew’s trying to say. “What?”

Nunew hesitates before uncovering just enough to wave his hand vaguely in the direction of Zee’s lower half, the other hand still clinging to his face.

Zee glances down instinctively, and sees it. Oh shit.

“Fuck,” he blurts out, leaping two steps back away. “Shit–sorry, I didn’t–fuck, I swear it’s not–okay, I mean, obviously it is, but not like that–”

He turns around hastily before making up an excuse to leave. “I’ll cook! I’ll cook dinner, just–just sit there, don’t move, don’t even think, just–just stay there, okay? I’ll handle everything.”

He disappears into the kitchen before Nunew can say a single word, leaving the younger sitting on the couch, absolutely mortified, hands still covering his face as he tries to process everything from the last ten seconds. Holy shit. Why was it so big? Wait- What?! Stop thinking about it, Nhu!

He exhales loudly into his palms. It's okay. It's okay. It's just biology, Nhu. It's just a natural reaction. But it was so big! How is that even possibl–

Nunew gets pulled back from his unholy thoughts as he hears a loud clang of a pan. Zee blurts out, “I’M FINE!” from the other side of the wall.

He should really check up on him, no sexual innuendos intended. Nunew sighs again, presses his lips together, then slowly (stupidly) gets up from the couch, padding quietly toward the kitchen. It's partly because his conscience tells him it’s wrong to let someone cook alone for him and be useless, and partly because he wants to be close to him.

Nunew peeks around the doorway.

There Zee is, hunched over the counter. His hair is still damp and his ears are still flushed. But he's wearing an apron now, Nunew felt a needle pulling away from his heart. Phew, it's safe.

Nunew stifles a laugh at his own thoughts before striding closer. “Need help?”

Zee doesn’t look back, just nods. He doesn’t have a single piece of dignity left in him to even glance at the younger. “Yeah. Could use a second pair of hands.”

Nunew steps in beside him without another word, reaching for the peeler on the counter.

For the next few minutes, the kitchen is filled with the sounds of slicing, sizzling, and the occasional clatter. They fall into a comfortable sync, both trying not to get caught stealing glimpses at each other.

No one dares to mention what happened earlier, but it was for the best. God knows they would die starving if they let that moment hang on to them.

—

The food is still warm when Zee sets the pot between them on the rug. They’d dragged a blanket from the couch, and are now sitting cross-legged with their bowls and chopsticks in front of them.

Outside, the rain hadn’t let up at all since it started. Every so often, the wind shoves against the window hard enough to make the frame creak loudly.

Nunew takes the first bite, eyes widening. His shoulders wiggle as a happy dance. “This is so good!”

“Hm,” Zee hums, struggling to fight his grin back with how endearing the younger looks eating. His cheeks are full which makes it even harder for Zee to repress how much he wants to crawl right there and eat Nunew whole. (In a cute way!)

They ate without much talking after that. The only sounds were the rain and clink of chopsticks against bowls. 

Zee finds himself ogling the younger while he was busy munching his food. He keeps his gaze away from Nunew’s glistening collarbone tho. He needs to stay safe and sane from his own thoughts. 

But it really is so fucking unfair. How can Nunew make everything he does so adorable? Even his way of holding his bowl is so freaking enticing. Damn. Stand up, Pruk.

When Zee had gone to shove his bag out of the way on the floor earlier, his eyes caught on the necklace box peeking from the zipper. He apparently didn’t get to close it properly. Without thinking, he took the box out and discreetly slipped it into his pocket while Nunew was busy fixing the blanket.

Now, his knees are brushing Nunew’s whenever either of them shifts, and Zee could feel the small box pressing against his thigh. He still hadn’t put his apron away, petrified of whatever thing might reoccur. He doesn’t wish to freak the younger out for the second time.

His hands keeps wandering under his apron, tracing the edges through the fabric. What if…

They’re alone, and the atmosphere around them is light, this is basically the perfect timing for romance. He could do it now. Just take it out, slide it across the blanket, say something to sweep Nunew off his feet. What a piece of cake, right?

But Nunew is happily slurping his noodles, his shoulders bouncing with every bite. And Zee is nothing but a weak man who can never interrupt things that make the younger look this happy.

It’s okay, he’ll just wait for them to finish eating.

Operation: Confess to Nunew is on!

The bowls are empty now, the last drops of soup clinging to the porcelain. Zee sits up straighter, shifting his weight so the little box in his pocket feels ready in his palm. His heart thumps too hard against his ribs. C’mon, Pruk. This is it. It’s now or never.

“Nhu–”

“I’ll just wash these,” Nunew says before the older can get further, already gathering their dishes cheerfully. Zee watches him sway away toward the kitchen.

Zee slumps back against the couch and curses under his breath. Fucking hell.

Attempt #1: FAILED

When Nunew comes back, shirt slightly damp from leaning over the faucet, Zee braces himself again. Now, this is the perfect timing. Nothing will disturb them anymore.

“Hey, Nhu–”

A sudden and loud rumble shakes the windows, followed by the flicker of the lights going out. For a moment, the apartment is swallowed in darkness. 

Zee hears Nunew shuffle closer, clinging to his arms. “Hey…it’s okay. It’ll come back.” And it does, barely a minute later. But by then Zee’s pulse has already gone crazy with their closeness and he can’t speak anymore.

Attempt #2: FAILED

After some seconds, Nunew regains his composure and pulls away from the older reluctantly. 

Fine , Zee thinks. Third time’s the charm. This really is it!

Zee grips the box inside his pocket, his thumb rubbing the velvet smooth. The words sit on the tip of his tongue, eager to be thrown away.

“Nhu–”

Nunew’s phone starts ringing from the couch. The younger immediately scrambles to get it, his face lighting up as he picks it up.

“Jelly?” Nunew says, smiling as he listens. He’s completely oblivious to the way Zee’s shoulders sink.

Attempt #3: FAILED

What ancient law in my past life did I break for me to be reprimanded like this? Zee’s thoughts are in shambles. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to find other times to do this, their project has ended and they have no more reason to meet up. But how can he do this? Everything is fucking his plan up.

Nunew’s voice softens as he keeps talking to Nat, eyes flicking to the window where the rain lashes hard against the glass. “Yeah… the wind’s really strong here too. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to go home with this weather,” he murmurs into the phone. “Mm. I’ll let you know. Okay. Bye, Jelly.”

He hangs up and stays quiet for a second, watching the storm outside.

Zee clears his throat and leans an elbow on the couch. “If it’s too dangerous, you can stay here. I’ll take the couch, you can have my room.” Maybe I’ll be able to find the right moment tonight.

Nunew looks like he’s about to protest, but another loud thunder makes the light flicker again. The younger’s expression shifts. “...Okay. Just for tonight.”

“That’s fine,” Zee says, tone steady, but his brain is going crazy over a million ways he could finally do his confession. This is perfect. No one to interrupt, no rushing. Just the two of them for hours before Max gets home.

He just has to stop being a fucking coward for once in his life.

—

Zee fluffs the pillow one last time, stepping back to give Nunew space to get comfortable in his bed. “You okay?” he asks, making every effort to not show how he’s feeling turned on with the sight of Nunew lying on his bed. Stop being horny, you freak.

Nunew nods bashfully. “Thanks.” He’s quietly contemplating whether he should tell the older that he will be okay with being the one sleeping on the couch. He doesn’t want to intrude on Zee’s personal space, but he also can’t find the right words to say. It’s okay, right? It’s just one night…

Zee straightens and means to step back, but his fingers twitch toward his pocket. Just give it to him. Just do it. He swallows, steps forward again… then stops, suddenly too aware of how close they are.

“I, uh–”

Nunew tilts his head curiously. “What?”

Zee shakes his head and retreats a step. “Nothing. You should sleep.” Fucking coward. You’re a fucking loser, Pruk. “You must be tire–”

Before he can finish, a warm soft hand closes around his wrist.

Nunew’s looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Can you…stay? Just until I fall asleep.” He drops his gaze, realizing how humiliating it is to ask the older to stay with him like a child scared of ghosts. I mean, he is scared of ghosts. And sleeping in a room alone. He’s used to sleeping in the same room with Nat.

Zee blinks, caught off guard. “Are you scared?”

“No–Uhm.. Yeah. A bit,” Nunew mutters, still looking down. “It’s too… quiet and dark.”

Zee gulps back a smile. It’s actually cruel how he finds it endearing. “Alright. I’ll stay.”

He sits on the edge of the bed. Thank God he still has his apron on, because he swears he can feel how warm and stuffy the room feels all of a sudden. The tension between them is so thick it’s almost tangible.

Zee exhales quietly, he can’t ignore the heat and anticipation pooling on his stomach. He watched the younger curl slightly on himself under the blanket, lashes brushing his cheeks. It hits him dumbly, that he could just…keep everything to himself forever. No risk, no heartbreak. Just suffering in silence.

But then again, he’s all so damn tired of swallowing it down. It’s been years, for fuck’s sake. The necklace in his pocket is starting to burn a hole through his thigh. 

You’re pathetic, Pruk. Nunew’s right here, he’s trusting you enough to let you stay with him. When are you gonna stop being fucking scared?

He looks at Nunew again. The messy hair, the faint blush on his cheeks, the way he’s clearly fighting to keep his eyes open just to make sure Zee doesn’t leave yet. It’s too goddamn painful, how badly he wants to just reach out and keep him like this forever.

Alright. Screw it.

“Nhu,” he says, voice low. The younger hums sleepily in response. “I–” Just say it. Just say it already. Fuck, just say i–

“I like you.”

Nunew freezes, his eyes shooting up to the older in disbelief. He props up on the bed and sits upright. “Huh?” 

“I like you, Nhu.”

“You’re not… joking, right?” Nunew mumbles warily, still not convinced with what he has heard. Damn, he didn’t expect his Zee-Likes-Nunew theory would be affirmed this soon. 

Zee shakes his head strenuously. “No,” the word comes out rough. “”I wouldn’t…not about this.”

Nunew opens his mouth, maybe to ask something or to deflect or what. But Zee doesn’t give him an opportunity. This is the only chance for Zee to say everything he’d been wanting to for years. This is the only moment where he doesn’t feel his courage crumbling.

“I liked you before Nat liked me,” he blurts out, he can’t stop his mouth from running now. “Before any of that mess, before I even realized how bad I had it for you. It’s always been you, Nhu.”

He lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. “And I know I was an idiot. It was so stupid that I had to hurt your friend just because I thought it’d get me closer to you. Fuck, that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, and I regret it every single day.”

“Do you know how much it killed me when I realized you despised me?” Zee swallows hard as he forces himself to look into Nunew’s eyes. “That you wouldn’t even look my way unless you had to? I thought… Yeah there’s no way I’ll ever be able to shoot my shot again. And it was all my fucking fault. God, I was so damn stupid, Nhu.” 

His voice softens, here it is. “ I know you probably know this already but...When I heard about the sophomore-senior collab for that project… I begged prof Aof to let me be your partner. Didn’t care if I sounded desperate. I just–” he breathes out, a shaky laugh slipping through, “--I just wanted an excuse to be around you.”

Zee runs a hand over his face. It’s so excruciatingly humiliating to admit all of this. “Every time we meet, I had to tell myself to keep it together, to not let you see how bad it’s gotten.”

He swallows hard again, locking his gaze on Nunew with his voice shaking.

“God, I like you so much I don’t know what to do with it.”

Nunew’s breath hitches, but he doesn’t say anything. He just stays there, still not done absorbing every single word the older just spat out without warning. What am I supposed to say? I… I like him too, but… it hasn’t even been that long. What if I’ll be the one to mess this up?

Zee forces a smile bitterly. “I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t think I deserved to. And now I’m here wondering if I’m just making everything worse by telling you all this.”

His voice drops lower, almost a whisper. “But I just couldn’t let tonight pass without you knowing. I don’t think I’ll have the courage to say this some other time.”

Nunew blinks, and just stares at the older. He doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t know how to do this. Damn, no one had ever confessed to him bluntly like this. 

Zee exhales shakily and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t even have to like me back. Just… let me have this moment, okay? Just this one.”

Nunew stays silent. Oh my god. What do I say? Say something, Nhu! Oh gosh.

Before he gets to open his mouth, Zee’s already fumbling inside his pocket and pulling out a small box. “It’s not much,” he mumbles, avoiding the younger’s gaze, “but… I wanted to give it to you. You know, for doing so well on our project.”

Nunew gapes at the box curiously before taking it and opening. Inside is a simple silver necklace with a pearl pendant. His lips twitch into a smile as he takes it out. “It’s pretty,” he says softly, then glances up and gives the necklace back. “...Put it on me.”

Zee blinks. “Huh?”

“You gave it to me, right? Then put it on me.” Nunew turns around before the older gets to process what he just asked him to do.

Zee’s ears and chest go hotter as he hesitantly moves closer, fumbling with the clasp. He’s hyperaware of how close they are. Nunew’s nape, his soft skin, the faint scent of shampoo (Zee’s) still clinging to his hair. Everything is making Zee dizzy. Fuck .

He finally manages to clasp the necklace, though it took every shed of willpower not to lean closer and bite into the younger’s neck.

Nunew turns back around, oblivious to Zee’s dangerous (horny) thoughts. “Thanks,” he says simply, touching the pendant. 

The pearl rests perfectly in the delicate hollow where Nunew’s collarbones meet, and goddamn this is getting too obscene for Zee to control his impulses. He needs to look away before he jumps on the younger, but how can he look away? Nunew’s so captivating it hurts.

Nunew shifts under his gaze, fingers still brushing over the pearl. “You’re staring,” he says, half-teasing but also unsure. Zee’s expression is a little too intense for comfort.

Zee snaps his eyes away. “I’m not,” he lies badly.

“You are,” Nunew’s voice softens, and he tilts his head a bit. “Do I… look weird?”

Weird? That’s the last word Zee would even think of using. But if he says what’s really on his mind, they’re skipping straight past the confession and into something he’s not sure Nunew’s ready for. So he forces a shrug. 

“No. You look…” He swallows, then turns his gaze back to the younger. “...pretty. You’re so damn pretty, Nhu.”

“Hia…” Nunew shies away, pulling the blanket up and hiding his face behind it.

“I’m serious,” Zee says, voice low and a little breathless. He doesn’t know where he got the sudden burst of boldness. But he’s not about to waste it away. “You’re so pretty. And I like you, Nhu. I really really like you.”

Nunew peeks from the blanket, his cheeks flaring hotter at how genuine Zee sounds. He swallows, before putting the blanket down and meeting Zee’s eyes. I need to be honest too…

“I’m not…completely sure about my feelings yet,” he admits. “But… I don’t mind you trying to figure it out with me.”

Zee’s smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “That’s all I need to hear,” he says. He wants to reach out and wrap himself around the younger, but he doesn’t want to rush anything. “I’m not going anywhere, Nhu. We can take this as slow as you need.”

Nunew’s eyes flicker, searching the older’s face for any meaning behind his words. But all he sees is pure and genuine adoration. “...Okay,” he murmurs softly.

He was about to keep his mouth shut when he suddenly remembers a conversation they still haven’t had. “But…can we talk about that night? When I was drunk…” Gosh, we’re finally talking about this..

Zee’s eyes soften, desire hidden just beneath the surface. “Yeah, we should.” He exhales before chuckling softly. “You have no idea how hard I had to hold myself back that night.”

Nunew swallows hard. “Sorry.. I was a mess, though. I really shouldn’t have jumped on you like that without consent.”

Zee’s lips twitch into a small, teasing smile. “Consent? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that kiss was the best thing you ever did without asking permission.” He leans in a little closer, voice dropping to a low murmur. “Besides, I was just as eager as you were.”

Nunew’s cheeks flush even deeper. There's so many thoughts running in his mind right now that he can’t shut off. His mouth moves before his brain registers it. 

“I want to kiss you again.”

Both of their eyes widen with bewilderment. Shit , Nunew thinks as he bites his lips. What the hell did I just say!?

Zee’s heart skips, and he swallows the sudden rush of heat pooling in his chest. “...Are you sure?”

Nunew’s cheeks burn hotter, but there’s a glimmer of something bold in his eyes now. He’s feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. This is embarrassing… But I really want to kiss him so bad…  

He nods slowly, voice barely above a whisper, “Yeah… I want to.”

Zee’s breath hitches with the younger's bluntness. His hand twitches, wanting to reach out and touch, but he holds himself back. He should savor the moment and let Nunew lead the pace. “Alright,” he murmurs as he lets out a teasing smirk, “come here.”

Nunew shifts closer. Didn’t they just agree to take things slow earlier? But damn it, how can he resist the hot man in front of him who just confessed his love for him and whose biceps are flexing hard? Don't even get Nunew started with the smirk plastered on his face that's so damn… making Nunew feel things. He's so fucking hot.

Their eyes lock again, but their gazes have turned fierier and more eager. Zee’s fingers finally move, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind Nunew’s ear.

“Just do what you want with me,” Zee whispers, his breath ghosting over Nunew’s lips, “and I’ll follow your lead. Every step.”

Nunew’s throat tightens and his breath hitches. A shiver runs down his spine as the older’s fingers shift down to his neck. “I don’t want to rush,” he murmurs, “but… I want this. I want you.”

Time felt impossibly slow as Nunew leans in. Zee’s hand slides from the neck up to cradle the side of the younger’s face, thumb brushing and tracing small circles over his cheek.

Zee’s breath falters the moment their lips meet. He can feel Nunew pressing in closer, and he doesn’t know how he can control himself anymore. Fuck .

Seconds pass but it feels like hours as their kiss grows more heated and fired up. Zee’s fingers wander lower, his hand settling inside Nunew’s shirt and his bare waist. His apron is now loose and clutched on the younger’s left hand, his right tugging on Zee’s hair.

The world seemed to blur around Zee with how Nunew’s lips part, inviting more and more. Fuck . He lets his composure down, sucking on the younger’s tongue impatiently. Nunew’s lips are one hell of a drug, and Zee has no plans of getting out of it any sooner. But he knows they can’t do this now, not when he just confessed and both of them are in a haze.

Zee lets himself indulge in Nunew’s hunger to eat his lips up for a brief moment before gently pulling away. “Wait–” His words got cut off by the younger’s lips earnestly chasing him. With a firm hand on his jaw, Zee pushes him away, a string of saliva following his mouth. “Nhu–” he gets interrupted again. Shit .

Deja vu hits him like a truck. He remembers this happening that night too. And although Zee desperately wants to do everything with Nunew, he wants it to happen when both of them are completely aware and in the right headspace.

He gently presses his palm against Nunew’s chest, steadying both of them. “Not yet, Nhu. We need to slow down.”

Nunew’s breath catches, before pouting and looking up to Zee with his doe eyes. “Why?”

Zee chuckles at how adorable Nunew looks pouting with swollen lips like he didn’t just devoured Zee’s. “Today’s been too much. You need to rest, okay?” He leans down to peck his lips, his nose, and his forehead. “We’ll take all the time we want, I promise.”

Carefully, Zee guides Nunew back to the bed, making sure the younger is settled and comfortable. It doesn’t take a while before his lids flutter shut, exhaustion finally overtaking him after this hell of a long day.

Zee watches him with a smile, his heart both heavy and full. He can’t believe all that happened in a span of hours. Just earlier, they were just in the hall presenting… and now? He just confessed and kissed Nunew. Holy shit. That just happened?

A grin spreads wide across his face, lips twitching as laughter bubbles up uncontrollably inside him. His legs want to flutter and he can barely stop himself from bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Holy shit, I’m so happy.

For a quick minute, he imagines jumping up and down in celebration right there in front of Nunew’s sleeping figure. But he’s not that crazy, okay? He’ll just do that outside.

Zee slips out of the bedroom, careful not to wake the younger up. His heart’s racing, and the energy is practically bouncing inside him and it’s too much for him to stay still. So he takes off his apron. And he starts doing push-ups on the living room floor, then a plank, then some quick curls with an imaginary weight, all while grinning foolishly to himself.

After all the exhaustion finally seeps into him, Zee flops down on the couch and stares at the ceiling. Damn. What did I do to deserve this? I’m so fucking happy.

Apparently, his ancestors really just helped him grow a dick or whatever it is that gives people courage. He really should talk to them and give them offerings. With how euphoric he feels right now, he could give a thousand baht to any ancestor he’ll encounter tonight.

But now, all that’s left is figuring out how to explain to Max why he’s crashing on the couch tonight and why all their doormats are drenched. That’s going to be one hell of a conversation, but he can’t seem to care.

Tonight, he’ll dream of brown hair and plump lips in his arms, and nothing will take him away from it. Not even the storm still lashing out outside.

Chapter Text

It was both strange and enthralling, how a single night could rearrange the whole dynamics between two people.

Despite their project ending and technically having zero reasons to keep seeing each other anymore, both of them have done everything short of going out of their ways and schedules just to be in each other's presence.

Zee, who used to get all scared and cold feet over just even being an inch close to Nunew, had turned utterly shameless when it comes to the younger. Spamming him with texts, insisting on walking him to classes, treating him snacks and lunches, you name it.

Nunew, on the other hand, has completely surrendered to the older’s clinginess. He wouldn't admit it easily, not even under threat, but he's getting all used to it; even craving it unknowingly. (And if he's being honest to himself, he can’t escape how he's falling even deeper anymore.)

It all started that morning, the one where Max threw a pillow straight into Zee’s face and tormented him about why he was on the couch and why the hell were there unfamiliar shoes on their rack.

Zee was just about to think of a way to get out of Max’s nosy ass when all of a sudden, Nunew burst through the door with messy hair and his shirt collar slipping off his shoulders.

Zee, on instinct, immediately ran to tug the fabric back into place, Max left forgotten. The whole morning was spent doting on Nunew, cooking him breakfast and asking him if he needed anything before Zee prodded him to let him walk the younger to his dorm. Max had transformed into air around them, but really, what’s new?

Nunew was downright stunned by Zee’s sudden attentiveness, though he didn’t shy away either. Who was he to deny himself some princess treatment?! So when the older walked him all the way back to his dorm later, Nunew didn’t have the heart to tell him he could’ve managed on his own.

The walk and bus ride to Nunew’s dorm was quiet, except Zee’s mind who kept urging him to reach out and hold the younger's hand. He didn’t, of course, he was scared that Nunew’s already thinking about how annoyingly clingy he was the whole morning.

When they got to the door, both of them hesitated whether they should stay for a while, say good bye, or just have another full make-out right there for the second time but in broad daylight. (The third one was crazy, let me erase that…)

Before Nunew could think better of it (before he could even think at all), he was already tipping up on his toes and pressing a quick kiss on Zee’s cheek.

Zee froze. Nunew froze. The whole world froze.

Then, in a burst of pure panic and muscle memory, Nunew spun around, shoved his key into the lock, and slammed the door shut right in Zee’s face. Has slamming his door on Zee’s face already become a habit for him? Should he start charging for it?

Zee just stood there, his fingers ghosting over the spot where Nunew’s lips had landed. Damn, he swore he could feel his knees turning to jelly and his ears burning hot just from a single cheek peck. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. What a weak, lovestruck loser he is.

On the other side of the door, Nunew pressed his back against it dramatically, clutching his chest with how loudly it’s pounding. What the hell was that? Why did he do that? And why, for the love of God, did it feel like every nerve in his body was still buzzing? He slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor, covering his face with both hands while trying to compose himself. He needed to get his shit together before Nat woke up and started pestering him again.

They just spent minutes sucking tongues last night, and now they’re acting like high school lovers who just got their first kiss? Talk about being lovesick idiots!

—

Of course, their whole courting stage for weeks hadn’t gone unnoticed by either of their friend groups.

Nat was the first, obviously, interrogating Nunew the moment he caught him looking all glowy and bubbly after that night, and with a suspiciously new necklace glowing around his neck. But Nunew just bashfully shrugged him off and deliberately avoided the topic. 

Max, who had witnessed their honeymoon-morning aftermath firsthand, didn’t even need to ask. He just knows something already developed between those two idiots.

The rest of their friends also had their own proof. Yim had seen them walking together across the campus for three week straight, with Zee carrying two bags all the time. Tutor once caught Zee giving Nunew snacks when he passed by the younger’s building. James, who just wanted alone time with Nunew, had been blocked three separate times because Zee kept popping up wherever the younger was.

Even Nunew’s class friends were tuned in. They’d spotted Zee walking him to lectures almost every day.

At this point, the whole university was basically aware they were dating. Heck, even July had caught up on it!

Everyone knows… except the two of them. 

Which is exactly why, on a lazy Friday night, Nunew finds himself cornered in his own bed.

The whole gang’s here again. All present to catch up, play games, and most importantly, to ambush Nunew.

Nat is sprawled across his own bed, Yim perched on the desk chair, and James sat cross-legged on the floor, fiddling with a packet of cookies. Nunew, unfortunately, is unaware that he’ll be the prey of the very obvious trap tonight.

“So,” Nat begins, a glint of mischievousness propped in his eyes. “When are you going to tell us you’re dating P’Zee?”

Nunew blinks, clutching his pillow. “We’re not–what? No. We’re not dating.”

Yim tilts his head, unconvinced. “Mm. Interesting. Because I’ve seen him walk you to class every day this week. And last week. And–”

“That’s just because–” Nunew started, but James cut in from the floor.

“And because he keeps showing up whenever I try to hang out with you? Coincidence?”

Nunew groans, sinking deeper in his pillow. “You guys are making it sound weird.”

Nat smirks, just a little bit more and they’ll get this out of Nunew. “Jelly, it’s already weird. Just admit it so we can stop pretending it’s not happening.”

“I told you, we’re not–”

“Dating?” Yim finishes for him while raising an eyebrow. “Then what are you doing?”

Nunew’s mouth opens, then closes. He stared down his pillow, heat creeping up his cheeks. "... I don't know."

That earned a chorus of knowing "mmhmm"s from all three.

Nunew opens his mouth again, hesitating whether he should admit it to them. But it's already been bugging him for weeks, and maybe he will feel lighter if he says it out loud.

"He... he told me he likes me. That night when I stayed over at his place."

The three, all curious and snooping, shift closer to Nunew, anticipating for him to continue.

"And I–I like him too,” he admits quietly. Who would’ve thought that the day will come where Nunew can blurt this so outrageously?

For a short moment, the room was filled with silence. Then Nat suddenly lets out the most dramatic gasp and throws himself back onto his bed.

“Then what’s the problem?!” he demands, already looking betrayed on Zee’s behalf.

Nunew frowns at his pillow, fingers picking at the corner. “I don’t know how to tell him,” he mutters. “He already said it first and…I told him I wasn’t sure yet. But now it feels like too much time has passed, and I don’t want it to be awkward.”

Yim, ever the calmest of them, hums thoughtfully. “You’re overthinking it. He’s not going to stop liking you just because you didn’t say it back right away. If anything, he’s probably just… waiting.”

“Yeah,” James adds, leaning against the bedframe. “And judging from how he’s been acting lately, he’s doing a terrible job hiding it.”

Nat, however, isn't interested in subtlety. “You’re telling me P’Zee confessed, you like him back, and the only thing standing in your way is you?”

Nunew groans again, rolling onto his side to hide his face. “It’s not that simple.”

“It is simple,” Nat says with the confidence of someone who had never had to actually confess his own feelings, Max had just asked him to be his boyfriend outright. “Just tell him. Or, I don’t know, kiss him and let him figure it out.”

That earns a laugh from Yim, who pats Nunew’s foot. “You’ll know when you’re ready. Just… don’t take too long, okay? He’s a patient guy, but even patience has limits.”

Nunew nods into his pillow, the thought both comforting and terrifying all at once. Everything's just… so unfamiliar to him. He doesn't know how to do this right, he doesn't know how to keep his feelings in control without jumping face first into it.

When the others packed up and finally left him alone with his thoughts, the room felt like it’s pressing on him on all sides again. But he doesn’t know what’s eating him up this time. Is it guilt? Fear? Excitement? Love? Does he like Zee so much that he’s terrified of messing up?

Nunew pulls his knees up and hugs them, chin resting on the soft cotton of the blanket he’s wrapped with. He ruminates about what happened earlier. How he actually told them, he actually said out loud that he likes Zee. It doesn’t seem such a big deal to everyone else. But to Nunew? It’s everything.

It’s been almost over a month since that night, but the memory is still fresh and sharp in his mind. He’s close to learning all the words by heart. He didn’t have the time to deliberately mull over things for weeks as he was still swamped with schoolworks, but now that it’s quiet (except Nat’s soft snores across the room), Zee’s voice is ringing up in his ears.

“I like you, Nhu. I liked you before Nat liked me. Before any of that mess, before I even realized how bad I had it for you. It’s always been you, Nhu.”

“You’re so pretty. And I like you, Nhu. I really really like you.”

Nunew can feel his cheeks getting warmer at the thoughts. But also something painful in his chest. Although it’s been long since it happened, a part of him is still skeptical about everything the older had confessed.

Nunew still can’t fully believe that Zee liked him longer than he started hating him. Longer than before their project, before being somehow forced to work together. It really, really didn’t make any sense. Back then, Zee had been… what? An arrogant dismissive asshole. Everything about him had rubbed Nunew the wrong way. And yet all that time, Zee had apparently been carrying feelings for him?

Nunew feels the uncomfortable pang in his chest getting worse, part guilt, part disbelief. What had Zee seen in him back then? He could still remember snapping at him over the smallest things, deliberately avoiding him, even assuming the worst of him. And Zee… liked him? Through all of it?

But all that doesn't matter because now, the worse part is that ever since Zee had confessed to him, he’d done everything but make Nunew doubt his feelings for him. Seriously, the way he treats the younger is everything Nunew could ever ask or wish for. But why is he still worrying so much now? 

It’s because he doesn’t know how to give back all that Zee had given him.

His friends’ words all at once replay in his mind, each of them so certain, so sure that this was easy. That liking someone and telling them you like them is one and the same. But it doesn’t feel like that to him at all.

Nunew presses his forehead against his knees while fiddling with the pendant of his necklace, the one Zee gave him. How the hell do you confess to someone who’s felt that way for years? How do you make up for the time you wasted not knowing? He doesn’t want it to sound like an afterthought, like he was only saying it because Zee said it first.

He imagines walking up to the older and saying it plainly, just like Nat said. Hia, I like you too. But his chest already tightens just by the thought. What if his voice comes out too soft, too unsure? What if Zee mistakes his nerves for doubt?

He thinks about doing it casually, like maybe while walking together. Or maybe after Zee drops him off at the dorm. Or maybe he should buy jewelry for him too? Or maybe he should cook for him? No! What if Zee gets turned off by his cooking skills?! Gosh .

Or he could just… show it? He could hold Zee’s hand in public, linger closer when they hug, and find excuses to be closer until the older notices. But it’s too cowardly. Nunew might be a chronic overthinker, but he wasn’t raised to have no guts!

The thought of all these possibilities makes him both warm and restless. He wants Zee to know, really know how much he likes him too, but he doesn’t want to get it wrong. Not with him.

He flops back onto his back, staring at the ceiling. There’s no completely foolproof way to do this. No matter what he plans, it’s still going to be him with his heart in his throat stumbling over words. 

But…there’s no harm in trying, no? He’ll just have to find the right timing, the right words, the right courage, and let the universe do its work!

—

The first chance came quicker than Nunew expected.

It was after class the next week, the two of them walking side by side toward the campus gates. Zee looks exhausted, his hair slightly tousled probably from running his hand through it all day. But when Nunew caught his eye, he still smiled and grabbed the younger’s bag from his shoulder wordlessly. Damn, his smile. That unfair perfect, godlike smile that makes Nunew want to capture and frame it to put it in his wall. If only that was socially acceptable!

Nunew’s pulse suddenly stutters. Oh, this is the perfect timing for his plan. He could just say it now.

“Hia–”

But before the rest can come out, Zee’s phone suddenly buzzes. He glances at the screen, his perfect smile faltering.

“Sorry, Nhu,” he mutters apologetically, stepping back. “It’s my internship supervisor. I need to head to the office right now.”

Before leaving, he reaches out and ruffles Nunew’s hair. “I’ll text you later, okay?”

Nunew was still processing it, but the older was already walking away and disappearing in the crowd. He exhales slowly, resisting the urge to throw a tantrum right there. It’s okay. It’s okay. There would be another chance. There has to be..

The following day, they’d agreed to study together at the library, even if their buildings are kilometers away from each other. They just needed an excuse to spend time together, okay? Zee was hunched over his laptop, notes scattered everywhere and his thesis draft open on the screen. While Nunew is pretending to write something in his notes, but his mind is flying somewhere else. His plan.

See? There’s already another chance for him to confess! 

Nunew keeps glancing at him, trying to find the right moment. When Zee finally leans back and stretches, Nunew braces himself and takes a deep breath.

“Hia, can I tell you somethi–”

A notification pings on Zee’s screen, making him cursing under his breath while scanning the email.

“Nhu, I have to submit this now or my adviser will kill me.” He reaches over and squeezes Nunew’s wrist briefly, his thumb brushing his skin before pulling away to type furiously.

Nunew sits back with his arms crossed and a pout forming in his lips uncontrollably. Hmp. Why is everything going against me? Universe, are you homophobic or what?! 

For the next few days, Nunew tried again. And again. And again.

But to his goddamn astonishment, the universe kept handing him new interruptions. Professors calling Zee out mid-sentence, phone calls from his internship supervisor, meeting with his thesis group for another round of endless revisions.

Nunew knows he can’t be selfish about it. Zee is a senior, after all, with deadlines that weren't just stressful but also terrifying. His own workload is nothing compared to what the older has on his plate. He understands that. He really does.

Still…understanding isn’t enough to stop his chest from feeling tight whenever Zee would pat his head or squeeze his waist or kiss his forehead before disappearing again.

It’s a maddening pity, how those brief touches could make his heart do backflips and also make him want to sulk in a corner for hours. 

By the sixth failed attempt, Nunew finally throws himself on his bed and grabs his phone. As his favorite coping mechanism is oversharing on social media and it’s been a while since he last did it, he goes straight to Twitter and does the most logical thing to do. 

@nunuwhines

10:43 PM · Sept 28

What to do if someone doesn’t give you enough attention? Im taking advice

🔁 2 ❤️ 8

But can you blame him? Nunew hadn’t heard from Zee all day. Or the day before. Or…honestly, he’d lost count. Sure, they’d exchange a few short texts here and there, but it’s nothing like their usual back-and-forth. No random memes, no unnecessary updates, no “have you eaten?”, even no asking to meet up. So it’s totally normal for Nunew to sulk like this!

After a few seconds, replies from his chronically online friends roll in.

💬 @natnatnatnat

Don’t give him attention either. Two can play that game, Jelly 😏

💬 @yimtalks

Dont listen to Nat. Just talk to him about it like a normal person. Tho Im sure you're far from being normal LOL

💬 @jamesssu

Let’s hang out and I‘ll give you all the attention you need

Nunew groans into his pillow. Yeah. Totally helpful, guys. Thanks.

No. This won't do. Nunew has to man up and handle this like an adult. An adult who will go to Zee’s dorm tomorrow, march straight to him, look him in the eye, and finally say it… Unless something else comes up again.

But this time, he swears to the universe, he's not backing down!

—

Nunew walks up the fifth floor with his heavy heart dragging him down. He rehearsed his script ten times in the bathroom mirror before coming here, but now that he’s getting closer, he suddenly wants to chicken out. No. No, Nhu. You can do this

He stops in front of the door and hesitates for a while. It’s been a while since he last came here. He was just halfway to raising his hand to knock when it suddenly opened, revealing Max.

“Oh,” Max says, surprised. “Nunew.”

Nunew gives him a sheepish smile. “Hi.”

“You here for him?” Max tilts his head toward the closed door inside.

“Yeah. Just…thought I’d drop by.”

Max’s brows furrows. “He’s been… uh. Busy. I haven’t seen him leave his room for hours. He won’t let me in too, you know how he is,” he pauses for a bit. “You should really check up on him. I won’t keep you long, I need to hurry somewhere.”

Nunew just nods, stepping aside to let Max out. There’s a crippling worry growing painfully in his chest, but he just exhales it and paddles toward Zee’s room.

He knocks softly on the older’s door. No answer. He tries again. “Hia… It’s Nhu.”

Just as he’s about to knock again, a hoarse voice suddenly calls, “Come in.”

Nunew pushes the door open and… stops.

The room is dim even though it’s literally 2 in the afternoon. The curtains are mostly drawn, and the desk is buried under open notebooks, loose sheets, coffee cups stacked on each other. Zee is hunched in front of his laptop, his hair messy and his eyes shadowed so hard you’d think he hadn’t gotten a blink of sleep for months.

Nunew swallows the little speech he’d practiced about being ignored. It suddenly feels so, so stupid. The heaviness in his heart is now dragging him down for a different reason.

Zee turns to face Nunew, forcing a soft smile as if it would mask the tiredness so evident on his face. “Nhu, why are you here?” He rubs his eyes. “Sorry, I look like crap. I didn’t know you were coming. I should’ve cleaned up fir–”

“Hia,” Nunew cuts him up, his voice small and vulnerable. He steps closer slowly, taking in the sight of Zee’s fatigued eyes and the way his shoulders are dropped so low. “When was the last time you’ve slept?”  

Zee straightens a little and avoids the younger’s gaze. “Don’t worry about me.”

How the hell can Nunew not worry? Zee looks like he’s about to pass about any moment, and he tells him not to worry?

Nunew’s chest tightens even more, seeing the older in this state is so devastatingly painful that his eyes are starting to tear up. He wishes he could take all the burden and tiredness off Zee’s shoulders. He had been so wrapped up in sulking over the lack of attention, he didn't even think of asking if he was doing okay.

Without thinking, he reaches out to grab Zee’s hand. His fingers curl around it, thumb brushing over the tired knuckles. Fuck, Nunew’s about to cry in front of him again.

Zee notices instantly, his brows furrowing. “Hey, what’s wrong–” But he is already pulling Nunew gently into his arms until the younger’s perched awkwardly on his lap. Nunew tucks his head into the crook of Zee’s neck naturally.

“Hia..,” Nunew mumbles against his neck, trying hard to force his voice out despite the lump on his throat. “Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling this much?”

Before Zee could respond with some badly made excuse, Nunew is already pulling his head back to look at him and cover his mouth with his pointy finger. “No. I know what you’ll say,” He shakes his head with his eyes glassy. “You’ll tell me it’s fine, that you can handle it, that I shouldn’t worry. But I can see it, Hia. You’re so exhausted…”

His words trail off, heavy with everything he can’t bring himself to say yet.

Zee looks at him with that face who wants to argue, but the fight just isn’t there. Instead, he exhales slowly and gently leans his head on Nunew’s shoulder. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

That hurts Nunew more than it should.

Zee swallows, then continues while pulling his head up to hold the younger's face. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this side of me, Nhu. You should be spending your time laughing and having fun out there.”

That’s it. Nunew can’t take this anymore. His eyes burst with tears and his uncontrollable sobs strike through him agonizingly.

“You— You’re really so stupid, Hia,” he hiccups between breaths, clutching at Zee’s shirt with trembling fists. “Do you know how scared I was because you weren’t reaching out to me? I was sulking for days, Hia…and I was so selfish. I didn’t even check up on you.”

“I’m sorry, Hia. I'm really sorry.”

“Nhu, it’s not your fault,” Zee says softly, brushing his thumb against the younger’s damp cheek. He wants to punch himself, why the hell does he keep making Nunew cry? “It’s me who should apologize for not telling you anything.”

Nunew shakes his head furiously, tears dripping onto Zee’s collar. “No. You’re the one struggling. Why should you apologize?”

His sobs are getting worse, his breaths short and shaky. Zee doesn’t try to stop him, he just wraps his arms around him tighter, letting Nunew cling to him like a koala on a eucalyptus tree.

Without another word, Zee shifts, sitting up while keeping Nunew against him, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. He rises, guiding them both toward the bed. When they finally sink seated into the mattress, Nunew is still on top of him, his head buried against Zee's neck.

Nunew's breath starts to sync with Zee’s, his sobs slowly fainting. He suddenly feels something gnawing at his chest again. Why the hell is he having a breakdown here, where Zee is clearly busy and occupied? 

He squeezes his eyes shut, almost willing himself to pull away, to apologize again, to leave before he makes it worse. But then Zee’s hand slides up to the back of his head, cradling it gently, as if telling him without words, You’re not a burden.

That’s all it takes. He can’t keep this in any longer.

He swallows thickly, his voice muffled against Zee’s skin. “Hia… I need to tell you something.”

Zee tilts his head slightly, not sure if he should be scared or what. “Hmm?”

“I want you to trust me,” Nunew whispers, his grip tightening on Zee’s shirt. “With everything. Not just the good days, not just when you’re smiling. I care for you so, so much it hurts, Hia.” His voice cracks, but he wills himself to continue. This is it.

“I like you, Hia. I like you so so much,” He shuts his eyes even tighter, terrified with the weight of his own words. “I like you so much. I like you… even more than desserts.”

He feels Zee’s heartbeat spike beneath his ear furiously.

“…Huh? Come again?”

Nunew pulls back just enough to look him in the eyes, his lashes still damp. “I like you so much, Hia.”

For a moment, Zee just stares at him. Damn, he wasn't expecting this at all. Not now when he's so freaking stressed with everything he has to do before graduating.

“…You’re serious?” Zee’s voice is low as he tries to find a hint of joke in the younger's eyes.

Nunew swallows and nods, clutching Zee’s shirt like a lifeline. “I am. I’ve been serious for a while. I just… I was scared, Hia. You told me you liked me first, and I didn’t know if I could… if I could measure up to that. But I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”

Something in Zee’s face softens instantly. His hand finds the back of Nunew’s head, fingers curling gently in his hair before pulling him in for a tight hug. “You little gremlin,” he murmurs, a shaky laugh escaping him. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that?”

Nunew’s lips part as a tingling heat creeps up his cheeks. He'd heard from his friends that Zee was probably just waiting for him, but hearing it from the older himself suddenly makes him feel so shy.

“You have no idea what you just did to me,” Zee says into his hair, his voice trembling despite his attempt at teasing. “You like me more than desserts? Nhu, do I even deserve that?”

Nunew’s laugh comes out wet and helpless. But he doesn't care at all. He just tugs at Zee’s arm until he’s leaning back, forcing him to lie down. “Stop talking. You’re taking a nap,” Nunew mutters, still clinging to him like he’s afraid to let go.

“I–Nhu, I still have–”

“Nap,” Nunew insists, his voice muffled against Zee’s chest. “Five minutes. Ten. I don’t care, Hia. You need to rest.”

Zee sighs, already giving in, how can he ever fight against his baby? His arms wrap instinctively around the smaller frame. The steady rhythm of their breathing starts to slow, lulling them into a haze.

Then, just as Zee feels himself slipping, Nunew’s voice cuts softly through the silence.

“…Wait.”

Zee hums in response, eyes still closed. “Hmm?”

“Hia, are we… boyfriends now?”

Zee’s eyes snap open, his heart stumbling into an uneven beat. He tilts his head just enough to look down at Nunew, who’s staring at him with the pretty doe eyes of his.

“…You’re asking me that now?” Zee’s voice is low, caught somewhere between disbelief and a laugh.

Nunew only shrugs, burrowing his face back into Zee’s shirt. “I just need to know before I fall asleep.”

For a moment, Zee doesn’t answer. He just holds him tighter, pressing his lips to the top of his head. Me? Being boyfriends with Nhu? Fuck. I'm the luckiest man alive. And I'm freaking owning it.

“Yeah, Nhu,” he murmurs against his hair. “We’re boyfriends now.”

Nunew smiles into his chest, and this time, when they close their eyes, it feels as if they were both floating in a comforting place. A place only the two of them know.

—

The restaurant is loud with laughter and clinking glasses, it's the usual chaos that comes when both their friend groups are crammed into one long table. Nat’s halfway through a dramatic toast, Tutor keeps poking Max with a fork, and Zee, sitting right next to Nunew, hasn’t let go of his hand under the table since they arrived.

Nunew watches him laugh, head tilted back. His heart is so full of love and pride for Zee. He thinks about the past months, and how they blurred together. The late nights in Zee’s apartment while he battled his thesis, shared meals on the couch, mornings when Zee walked him to class before heading to his own work. 

Somewhere along the way, Zee graduated, got his own car, moved into a place that already feels like home to Nunew. If it weren’t for Nat still being in their dorm, Nunew would've moved in the older’s place without a second thought.

Oh and also, they have met each other’s family already. It was impulsive, just them being so tired of their workload that they had to plan a weekend getaway before Zee’s final defense. They traveled back and forth their hometowns tirelessly, but it was all worth it, given how both sides welcomed their relationship with open arms.

Everything all went so fast, but it's just how life goes. It's all inevitable.

From across the table, Max watches Zee lean in close to say something in Nunew’s ear, his thumb brushing over the younger’s knuckles. They both look so stupidly happy, Max can't even dare to fight the smile plastering on his face as he witnesses Zee’s joy after all those years of him pining over Nunew.

Max leans down, his voice low so only Nat, who's almost falling asleep on his shoulder, can hear. “We did good.”

Nat’s mouth curls into a sleepy grin. “We really did.”

Max presses a quick kiss to the top of his head before reaching for his drink again, and Nat just stays there, content, watching the two people they pushed together look at each other with heart eyes so apparent it's almost disgusting. Everyone's really just air around them. He'll have to tease Nunew about this someday, when he finally stays even just a day in their dorm instead of crashing into Zee’s place!

—

Later, the city is comfortably quiet as the lovebirds drive back, their joined hands resting on the center console. Nunew keeps brushing his thumb over Zee’s knuckles just to feel the twitch there.

“You’re quiet,” Zee says without looking at him.

“Mm. Just… happy,” Nunew replies, a little smile curling on his lips. “I'm so happy, Hia. I'm so proud of you.”

“Hia is so happy too. I'm so happy that you're with me,” Zee glances at the younger briefly, his mouth dancing between a soft smile and a teasing grin. He pulls their intertwined hands to his lips and plants a loud smooch.

Nunew just scoffs playfully and tries to fight the way he's still so flustered whenever the older flirts with him. Gosh. He just never fails to make my knees weak!

The moment they step inside the apartment, Nunew barely lets Zee toss his keys on the counter before stepping into his space, hooking two fingers into the collar of his shirt.

“Someone’s impatient,” Zee teases, the smile in his voice almost enough to make Nunew melt right there.

“Mm,” Nunew hums, pressing a kiss to the slope of his shoulder before giving it a playful bite. “What? Can’t I congratulate my graduate now?”

Zee huffs a laugh, turning his head to look at him. “Is that what you call it? You’re leaving teeth marks.”

“Proof I was here,” Nunew says without shame, grinning before biting lightly at his bicep.

They tumble toward the bed, kisses scattered and off-beat, laughter breaking between them. Zee pulls back just enough to search his face.

“You’re not drunk, are you?”

Nunew shakes his head while pouting and squinting at him, hair falling into his eyes. “I had one shot of soju, Hia.”

“Just checking,” Zee chuckles before planting a soft kiss on the younger's forehead. “ Nhu, do you realize what we’re doing?”

Nunew’s lips curl, eyes heavy but a hundred percent sure. “Yes, Hia,” His voice drops an octave lower, who knows if it's from shyness or horniness? “I want you so bad.”

Fuck. Something dangerous in Zee’s gaze changes before he kisses him again, this time deep and certain and all at once.

Clothes shift and hands move without thought, and Nunew feels the steady beat of the older's pulse under his palms. His mouth trails down the line of his jaw to his neck where teeth catch on skin.

He pushes at Zee’s shirt until his hands meet warm skin and traces over the hard lines of muscle and flexing biceps. He bites lightly into one, “Mine,” he mumbles against him.

Zee is taken aback but he can only groan and throw his head back against the pillow, before he gently grabs the younger's face and slots their lips back together. 

Nunew's head spins as he feels the electrifying touch of Zee’s hand inside his shirt, grabbing his waist so hard it'll surely bruise tomorrow. 

Everything's dizzying, not from the soju, not from the pace, but from the overwhelming rush of Zee. Every kiss and every press of the older’s body makes him want to combust from every swirling emotion inside him.

Just months ago, Nunew swore he'd be hating Zee for his whole life. But now? Oh dear, he loves him so damn much. He loves him more than he knows what to do with. He loves him so much it aches in the center of his chest. And honestly, he wouldn't want this any other way. Loving Zee had been one of the best decisions he'd ever made.

And he needs to let this out before it forcefully bursts out of him.

“I love you,” he breathes, not even sure if he meant to say it out loud. It slips past his lips like an exhale.

Zee freezes, his eyes locked on Nunew. The younger's words are ringing up in his ears, but he's still not sure if everything happening now is even real or just a fragment of his imagination. “Say it again.”

Nunew’s voice falters, his eyes tearing up again. A fat tear drops to the side of his face as he blurts out the words so certain and clear. “I love you, Hia. I love you so much.”

Zee smiles then, slow and devastating, before leaning down and kissing him. Their teeth clash as they both fail to fight their grins.

“I love you too, baby.” He wraps his arms tightly around the younger, afraid that this moment will slip through his fingers if he doesn't grasp enough, a single tear runs down his cheek. “Hia loves you so much.”

The rest of the night was blurry. Skin on skin, heart on heart, love on love. And if home could be defined as a person, there's no doubt that they've both arrived where they're meant to be. 

In each other's arms. ‪♡

Chapter Text

8 years later

The knock comes on a slow Saturday morning. Aof pushes himself up from the couch and pads over to the door. He opens it to find the mailman holding a slim, cream-colored envelope.

“Delivery for you, sir.”

The paper feels smooth and expensive in his hands. His name is written in delicate calligraphy across the front. Curious, he tears it open and slides out a thick card edged in gold foil, the soft blush of pressed flowers framing the words.

Together with their families

Zee Pruk Panich  

and

Nunew Chawarin Perdpiriyawong  

joyfully invite you to join them as they begin their forever

On the 18th of April, 2033

At four o’clock in the afternoon

Ayada Maldives Resort

Gaafu Dhaalu Atoll, Maldives

Reception to follow

Formal attire requested ✧ Please RSVP by February 26th, 2033

Tucked neatly behind the invitation is a glossy envelope containing a first-class plane ticket to Malé, with the departure date printed in bold: April 16th.

Professor Aof stares at it for a moment, his mind rewinding to that afternoon years ago. When Zee stood in his office doorway, hands clasped behind his back. Prof Aof, I swear I’ll handle the whole thing if you just let me work with Nunew. Please, sir.

He remembers how he’d said yes mostly to get Zee out of his office faster after tormenting him for a few days, thinking nothing of it at the time.

Now, staring at the gold letters, he realizes it wasn’t just a project. It was the start of a whole life. And he, unknowingly, was the matchmaker all along.

“Tsk tsk,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “These kids.”

He smiles to himself, sets the invitation somewhere safe, and makes a mental note to buy a nice suit. And an itinerary for Maldives!

End. ‪‪❤︎‬