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Draco was stood frozen on the platform. His coffee cup had slipped on the floor from the sheer shock of seeing her splattering everywhere.
She was different. Her hair short, darker and not curly…but it was the eyes. He would in no life, not this or the next ever forget her honey amber eyes.
Hermione.
His Hermione. The one who had loved him when no one else did. The one who cried for him, with him and stood resolute with her love for him. She dedicated and devoted herself to him, only motivated by the pure love in her heart. She was his pure beautiful North Star; she was perfection and yet she stood on the other platform not yet noticed Draco’s gaze.
His breath was caught as he felt a quelling sadness.
He was here and she was over there…there was too much distance between them. All he could think of was why…how.
He knew how and why they stood opposite each other. It was all him. Hermione gave herself wholly to Draco. But Draco was so broken, he was a poison to her- his pain was not for her to bare, but she anyway and it did caused her to bleed out from this. Hermione had no more tears for him by the end.
They had parted in great sadness. Hermione looked broken and Draco had done it. You can’t fix what’s already broken…you pick it up and throw it away. Draco had nothing in him to argue…he didn’t fight for her, and he lived to regret it.
Her last words were promising to meet in the afterlife. Hermione slipped out like a wraith in the dark leaving it all behind.
Draco expect this from her…well no he didn’t expect it from her, but their last conversation still haunted him till this day. She was forever more the ghost in their big London house they bought for their happily ever after. It was a shell. There was nothing after.
But now she was in-front of him unassuming, tapping on her phone. Gods how many years had it been.
A train zoomed passed the station, only passing causing he hair to flutter and as she turned to push it out her face her honeyed gaze met his ice silver.
There was a sudden palpable tension that crackled between them as their eyes locked. Hermione palled visibly and Draco’s breath was caught in his throat. His hand clenched in fists as they trembled from the overbearing emotional turmoil that they were both probably experiencing
They continued looking at each other caught in the moment, trapped in the heaviness of their love.
But the world shattered around then as soon as toddlers cry of excitement as they waddled “Mama”.
Draco watched the child, his mind going blank…the shock of blonde curls…silver eyes…his eyes.
He looked at the child, completely frozen and terrified. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. If Draco wasn’t so tense already, he would have collapsed from the weight of it all. His eyes glazed over as it dawned on him. This was all his fault…he was so broken back then.
Draco watched as Hermione picked up the child, kissing him and clutching then close. A woman who looked like an older Hermione stood next to her put a hand on her arm.
A girl…boy…he couldn’t tell from the distance of the station platforms. The child smiled so full of life, Draco felt his soul would shatter there and then.
Hermione’s gaze hardened.
She was looking at him glassy eyes as she blinked hard. Draco mind was whirring like crazy as he watched from the other side. He had to make a choice. He had to decide. He needed…he didn’t know what he needed.
He stood closer to the platform and shouted to her “Please”
He watched as the oncoming train suddenly pulled and he watched as they slipped into the carriage. Hermione’s gaze met Draco’s as he followed the train before running over the next platform. Breathless and looking deranged he frantically wished he hadn’t been dreaming.
Surly this wasn’t a trick of the eye or some weird confundus charm that someone had placed.
Then it dawned on him.
He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child.
He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child. He had a child.
He had a child. He had a child. He had a child.
He had a child. He had a child.
He had a child.
Hermione had his child… all alone.
The words buzzed around his mind.
He blinked away tears and sat slumped on a station bench before he racked his brain. Surly someone would have known if Hermione had a child. He needed to sure. He racked his brain, and it hit him…the black family portrait.
………………………………..
Draco’s heart hadn’t stop beating like crazy since he had seen Hermione and the child…his child on the platform. He felt sick. He felt like his chest would collapse from the anguish that was drowning his abilities to even breathe or think straight. He was hardly holding on.
He thought to put one foot forward and focused on his location— yes, her, he should focus on her.
The crack of apparition thundered across the grounds as Draco stepped into a brisk stride.
The Manor stood proudly but over the years it gave a weary aura from being so desecrated over the years.
Like an angry poltergeist Draco barged into the manor, the building seemed to rumble.
The anger, anguish and devastation seemed to resonate in the walls as he reached his father’s office pushing the door open.
He spared a second to see his mother sat reading while his father was writing on at his Desk. It was the picture-perfect Malfoy marriage, and it made him nauseous.
“I need to access the family vault— give me the key”.
Draco voice demanded taking his parents back slightly his mum wincing at his tone.
Narcissa cleared her to redirect “Sweetheart— it’s lovely to see you”.
“Yes yes, you too mother. But the Key. I need the key; I need go get to Gringotts and I don’t have time to waste”.
Draco’s clipped tone garnered an unpleasant frown from his father who placed his quill down sharply.
“What is this about Draco” Lucius chided “you show your face after months of nothing and demand things like petulant child”.
There was raging silence. Draco shook as he calmed his temper – this was all too new and too raw for him.
“Now. I will ask you again. What do you need it for” Lucius asked condescendingly.
“I will tell you afterwards. I need to check first” Draco sighed out trying to calm himself down.
Narcissa had been quite but suddenly took on a sombre expression as she studied her son. It was a look only a mother would give a child when she knew something deeply troubled him. Draco met his mother’s gaze and saw her tense up – it was like she saw right into his turmoil.
“Give it to him” She met Draco’s gaze then she looked past him.
Neither Draco or Lucius spoke and Narcissa snapped her head back to her husband, “He hasn’t all day…Give him the Key Lucius”.
Draco frowned looking at his mother, her expression closed and vacant.
It hit him like an iceberg…she had known. Narcissa had known.
His expression pained with recognition and surprise “You knew…all this time you knew”.
Draco’s voice cracked making Narcissa’s water eyes well up “I had my suspicions…I didn’t really know until now…”.
She quickly wiped her tear away as Lucius approached her leaving the key on the table for Draco, “Cissa, darling— Draco what is this, why is your mother upset”.
Both ignoring Lucius Draco’s eyes welled up seeing his mother “How…how did you know”.
“It was by chance…” she stared.
“I only saw from a distance but it was too much like you” Narcissa’s voice quivered “It was a broad guess…I didn’t think….you didn’t mention anything”
Narcissa’s suspension was confirmed when he asked to see the family books. The would be only one reason as to why.
It was not something she thought possible.
Yet here was her son looking more broken than she could have ever imagined. She let a tear fall down her cheek and wiped it away.
“I…it was coincidental…only suspicion” Narcissa was stumbling on her words as Lucius stood to comfort her.
There was a silence between them.
Draco’s hands were shaking as he knew his mother was telling the truth and it still felt like a knife to the gut.
Lucious frowned at them both and rummaged his bottom drawer pulling the Black Family Key out holding it out to him.
“You’re lucky – Potter asked for it a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been holding off” Lucious remarked perhaps trying to ease some tension.
Draco said nothing as he silently took it out his father’s hand fingers unable to stop trembling “I will return it soon”.
He nodded muttering a weak thank you before leaving the manor the echoes of his mother’s sobs and his father calling for him.
Draco managed to get to Gringotts.
How he was unsure but standing in the middle of the Black Family vault he swallowed taking heavy steps to the tome. The entire way down to the vault his mind was blank and unable to form anything coherent.
Carefully he lifted to the most reserved page and watched the vines of his bloodline expand out.
He knew most of it off by heart. All except the branch off him
If was the most recent addition and Draco could only describe it as angelic.
Lyra Granger.
Draco fell to his knees, clutching the book as his vision swam. He had a daughter.
A daughter. And her name was Lyra.
His daughter.
Draco felt hot tears streaming down his face.
This was all the confirmation he needed. And it left him disoriented.
He needed to speak to Hermione. They needed to talk.
He got back to his small flat and sent out a few owls. Potter— he would get it to her. He expressed the urgency to Potter via howler just to emphasise.
His letter was simple “Meet me at our house. We need to talk…Lyra is beautiful”.
……………………………………..
Draco felt sick. He hadn’t been back to the town house in years, and it was as he had left it all those years ago. His belongings were more or less emptied, but Hermione’s were still here. The microwave she bought, the decorations, pillows, her coats and hats…their pictures together
He heard a knock at the front door and quirked his brow as he went to open it. She was the breath of air to Draco’s lungs as she stood at the threshold.
Draco said nothing and stepped aside for her to come in.
“Why didn’t you floo?” He asked curiously.
“Oh” She laughed nervously “I didn’t think I would be able to…still…”
He couldn’t hide the hurt on his expression as he walked towards the sitting room, “This house will always welcome you…it’s never stopped being your home”.
Hermione didn’t respond to it and whatever expression she wore Draco’s back saw it. He slowly turned to face her.
The woman in front of him was his Hermione, the one who had breathed life into this place but then again, she wasn’t…she was someone who he didn’t recognise.
Draco felt a heavy calmness over him as he walked back towards placing the water on the table.
“So…have you been well?”
Draco asked cautious as he loomed around the room not getting too close.
Hermione turned to look at him, her expression imperceptible and somewhat closed.
“Why don’t we take a seat. You’re not here to really ask me how I’ve been” Hermione spoke somewhat jilted
“Thats not tr-“
“Draco, let’s sit” She cut him off and he stiffened at the abrupt tone “Please.”
He looked at her as her hands trembled taking a sip of water before he sat beside her.
She nodded at him and looked him directly, her gaze fixed on him “Aren’t you angry, why aren’t you asking?”
Draco met her gaze then sighed his shoulders hunching “Get angry? Why would I…” He paused as he held het gaze then dropped his head, running his eyes as they stung with tears
“No Hermione…I just want to know why.” Draco breathed out.
“Why what?” She asked a little nervous.
“Why did you hide her from me. Why did you do this alone, why Hermione… I just don’t understand” He was beseeching her in a quiet and subdued way, keeping his emotions in check and trying to not let his turmoil crush him.
Hermione’s breath caught as she looked at him.
Her brows furrowed as her eyes became glassy “Because…you weren’t capable of being her father then.” Hermione was careful with her words as she spoke to them.
“But you could have told me!! Wrote to me! Anything” He implored back.
“No Draco, you ask yourself this— if I told you…”
She gave him a hard look, “If I said to you 3 years ago you were going to be a father you would have dove into yourself, into those dark places and dragged us both down.”
Hermione’s breathed out heavy and calmed “I wasn’t going to let you do that to a child.”
“And now?” He asked
She remained silent and quirked a brow.
“What about now— do I still deserve to not know?” He asked her heatedly “that’s my daughter too, hell does she even know I’m her father?”
Hermione’s gaze shifted sway as she turned her head, “I don’t know…we don’t know each other anymore. And she does… she always has.”
Draco laughed dryly then wiped a tear that fell, “My own daughter knows her father before her father knows of her.”
Hermione reaches for his hand “I never wanted you to find out like this— she’s the best thing you’ve ever given me.”
Draco looked her his brows furrowed.
Hermione’s eyes became watery as she gripped his hand tighter “She’s the greatest gift you ever gave me. And I almost didn’t have her.”
His eyes snapped to hers as tears fell down her face, “what do you mean…”
Her voice trembled, “The day before I left you, I went to the doctor.”
“I thought it would be easier for us not to have her but when I say at there, I realised that what caused this was our love for each other. Despite the fights, the spirals and other shite”, she paused wiping tears, “She was all the good things in us both, all the love it was pure”.
“I couldn’t bring her into this” she glanced around the house, “I wasn’t myself and you…you weren’t the person I needed you to be”.
The words hit Draco like a hammer. He knew he wasn’t the same person but only because he lost Hermione he got better. It was that loss that healed.
Draco was silent as he took it all in and nodded. He was quiet contemplating what she had said his gaze going distant as he tried to comprehend it all.
“Draco…”
“Hermione, I may never be the man you deserve, and I think I understand, but please for a moment don’t ever think”
He paused taking a breath “Don’t ever think I stopped loving you just because you left. Never once did I stop thinking of you. Ever.”
Hermione began before Draco placed a hand over hers, “Please let me get this out…”
She nodded and wiped a tear.
“I will not ask for forgiveness…I will earn it, and I will show how much I continued to love you. Lyra…is beautiful and you did that alone…please, share that burden with me Hermione. We made her, we should raise her…. please don’t say it’s too late for me…please”
Hermione looked at him her lips trembling, “If I trust you again…it will have to be different. We can go back to that time”.
“No” Draco shook his head “Never again”.
“Let’s just…let’s just start as friends” Hermione smiled at him and his soul sang with joy and anguish.
“Even if you give me a crumb Hermione...it’s all I’d need”.
She chuckled, “Well you’ll need to give a bit more if you’re Lyra’s daddy”.
He broke. The dam was well overfull and hearing her say Lyra’s daddy did something he couldn’t handle in the moment. It was relief and cathartic.
Draco felt his shoulders slump as he began weeping his head falling on Hermione’s lap as he clutched the front of jumper, clutching the material for life as he breathed out his tears.
“Thank you…” he muttered through sobs Hermione’s own tears streaming down her face.
She genuinely stroked his hair as he wept in her lap and Draco couldn’t help it. He didn’t have her back but hell he would take it… even if it was like this.
He moved to look at her and cupped her cheek “Friends?”
She nodded and smiled a sadly tears streaming down her eyes “Just Friends”.
