Work Text:
Bruce Wayne was not happy. In fact, he was downright annoyed. Though none of the others in the room seemed to realize this fact, or maybe they were just so used to his scowl that they payed him no mind. Either way, there were many places he would rather be in that moment. But here he was on a Saturday night, stuck with the justice league.
It wasn't that he disliked his coworkers in the league, (though there were some he respected more highly than others) but to him they were just that; coworkers. He felt he needed that degree of separation from the team for his own comfort. But to his dismay the rest of the league seemed to have differing opinions on this.
They had been fighting together as a team for quite a while now, and although bruce felt that they worked quite well together, many of the other members had agreed that spending some time getting to know each other more personally would probably bring their teamwork to the next level (whatever the hell that meant, Bruce had no idea). And so they decided on hosting monthly after-work-team-building-hangouts, much to his chagrin. (He had tried to object by walking out during the first of these hangouts, but was told by Diana, quite sternly, that he was to sit down and participate like everyone else. And not wanting to attract the ire of the amazonian warrior, he did so; begrudgingly)
Though Bruce was initially hesitant about these activities, he had to admit it they did in fact have an we effect on the team. They had grown to trust each other more. Some of them had even begun opening up about their secret identities. Aquaman and martian manhunter had been open about their identities from the beginning, though that was unsurprising seeing as their circumstances were a bit different from the rest of the league. Diana and Guy had also been quick to share their names with the others once the league had officially formed. But to his surprise, not long after they started with these bonding evenings, Hal, Barry, Oliver and Dinah had all decided to reveal their true identities as well.
On the other side there were still some of them who chose to keep their secret identities in the dark, at least for a little while longer. Hell, Captain marvel had seemed downright terrified at the notion of having to reveal his real name. (Bruce made a mental note to look more into that at a later date.)
Bruce personally had no plans of revealing his identity to the League any time soon, if at all. He couldn't even figure out how to reveal this secret to his boyfriend, Clark. They were closing in on their one year anniversary, and the sweet reporter still had no idea that his boyfriend spent his nights dressed up as a bat and fighting crime. Bruce had a feeling that might be too much, even for someone as loving and accepting as Clark Kent.
He was already stressing about how to explain why he had to miss their date that evening. It wasn't like he could tell Clark the truth of why he had to cancel. "oh i'm sorry for missing our date baby! The league of superheroes that i dress up and fight crime with, forced me to participate in their team bonding activities again." Maybe if he said all of this whilst making really big puppy dog eyes that Clark (a look that usually made the man fold harder than a lawn chair), Clark might not break up with him for having what was possibly the weirdest secret in the history of weird secrets.
Oh who was he kidding. Even if Clark stayed with him through his confession of being batman, he would also have to explain that he had adopted and/or trained a gaggle of children and teenagers to be vigilantes. He knew that Clark adored his kids, and would most likely not like this information one bit.
Bruce sighed quietly, deciding to stop focusing on his self pity and instead engaging his attention back with the team.
Tonight was game night. Bruce hated game night with a passion. They could never quite agree on what to play during game night. Some of the members had unfair advantages, such as telekinesis and x-ray vision, taking most card games and strategy based games off the table (superman had sworn that he wouldn't use his powers to cheat, but yet somehow he won every single round.) Any type of game that involved throwing something at a target was banned. (both because the same people kept winning, and because of an incident that involved a few sore losers choosing friendly fire against the games winner.) And Mario cart ended with too many controllers being broken. (Bruce should probably have seen that one coming seeing as about half their team is made up of superhumans with anger management issues.)
So, as expected, most of them were caught up in the argument about what game to play tonight. The only one who really seemed to notice that Bruce had been distracted from the dispute was Superman; or Kal, as he had told them they could refer to him by when in private.
Bruce had been surprised when Superman decided to keep his identity hidden from them, as he seemed to be a very trusting person, but the man had chosen to only give them his kryptonian name, explaining that there were people he cared greatly about and who he wished to keep out of harms way. Bruce had a lot of respect for that.
Kal had discreetly been staring at Bruce, a twinge of worry apparent in his shining blue eyes, though he had averted his gaze once Bruce had caught him looking. Just as he was about to let his mind wander, contemplating the possible reasons behind this subtle look, he was interrupted by Hal shouting rather loudly and with way too much enthusiasm "i've got it! we should play fuck, marry, kill!"
Bruce was about to voice his disagreement to this, when Barry chimed in "oh fuck yeah! I haven't played that since high school!" oh god no. "well maybe there's a reason you haven't played it since high school. It's a rather childish game." Dinah pointed out, clearly not feeling the excitement of the other two. Bruce let out a sigh of relief, thinking that would be the end of it. But then Oliver weighed in on the discussion. "oh come on honey, it's a fun game, plus it's not like we have any better suggestions. Unless people want to try playing monopoly again." This brought on a cacophony of loud objections, containing many "fuck no's" and "never again's". Bruce got chills just thinking about the one and only time they had played monopoly. "ok then, it's settled, we play fuck, marry, kill." Barry said with a wide smile. Bruce regretted every decision that had led him to this moment.
"apologies, but i do not know how this earth game is played" J'onn stated, very matter of factly. "This game is new to me also." Diana seemed rather intrigued as she said this. Bruce was wondering if maybe he should fake a medical emergency to get out of playing.
"Well the rules are relatively simple." stated Hal "someone names 3 different people, they can be dead or alive, celebrities, heroes, villains or even someone in this room. Although i really don't recommend that last option, speaking from experience. Then everyone takes a turn explaining who they would fuck, who they would marry and who they would kill. And you *have* to choose someone for each option." He gave a pointed glance towards Bruce, before continuing. "I'll start. Fuck, marry, kill... Lex Luthor, the riddler and scarecrow"
The room got quiet for a second as everyone contemplated their answers, then Oliver spoke up. "I think i would have to go with fuck lex, marry scarecrow and kill the riddler. I really can't stand that guy!" Hal protested this answer. "what?? why would you wanna marry scarecrow? at least lex is rich!" "yeah but so am i! I don't need his money. Plus Luthor is a self-righteous little bitch! Scarecrow might be crazy, but i take crazy over Lex Luthor any day of the week!" Oliver debated fiercely "plus, have you seen scarecrow without his mask? The guy is surprisingly handsome" "I gotta say i agree with Oliver on this one. I do not think i could handle waking up next to Lex Luthor for the rest of my life" Diana interjected. "Well i think Hal has a point for once, i don't want Lex but i do want his money. I would have no problem being a sugar baby, even if i don't like the guy too much." Barry pointed out. "And divorce is a thing. Just leave him and take all his money" Hal commented way too gleefully for the topic they were discussing.
The first round continued mostly like that, slowly becoming a discussion about the pros and cons of marrying for wealth. The majority of the team didn't have particularly strong opinions on the villains they were discussing .(with the exception of superman who proclaimed he would rather die a slow and painful death than have sex with and/or marry Lex Luthor) Even Bruce gave some half hearted answer about agreeing with Olivers choice.
The team started getting more and more into the game as it continued, and for the next few rounds they mostly stuck with celebrities, politicians and villains. Some of the comments from the group were a bit raunchy, but thankfully not as bad as Bruce had initially expected. At least not yet.
"Ok, i have a great lineup!" captain marvel voiced excitedly. The man had refused to call it fuck, marry, kill; Adamant on calling it kiss, marry, kill instead. The group questioned it, and Guy even made some comment about honouring the game, but he was shut down by Kal who made it clear that they needed to respect each others comfort levels or they would have to stop playing. That had shut them up real quick. "Ok so, kiss, marry, kill: Harley Quinn, Catwoman or Zatana" "no! no heroes!" Hawkwoman shouted "I won't be able to look at them the same way next time we have to work together!" there were murmurs of agreement from the others. "good point. ok how about... hmmm.. oh i know! Bruce Wayne!"
Bruce froze. This was quite literally the worst case scenario. But then a thought sprung into his head that helped him gain back his composure a bit: the other 2 named were both very attractive women.(He should know, he dated one of them a few years back) With the league being in majority men, he would most likely just get killed off. Bruce could definitely live with that, in fact he would prefer it that way.
"Oh that's so easy!" Dinah proclaimed. "I'd kill Harley, fuck catwoman and marry Bruce" not too bad, bruce thought to himself. "I mean have you seen Bruce! If i married him i could literally have him any time i wanted. I would be riding that man multiple times a day" Bruce felt sick "Oh i completely agree!" Oliver said as he high-fived Dinah, before continuing "I've known Bruce most of my life. I played seven minutes in heaven with him once when we were in collage, and holy shit that man is hot! Mid making out i pushed him hard against a wall and he moaned my name so sweetly that i almost combusted on the spot! I mean it was literally my bisexual awakening. I probably would've fucked him right then and there if it wasn't for the 7 minute timer cock blocking me." Bruce cursed himself for his promiscuous actions in the past.
Things got worse, with most of the other leaguers choosing to either fuck or marry him. Describing in very graphic detail the things they would do to him/ let him do to them. At first he had to focus all his energy on keeping his face and body language neutral. But then, in the midst of all the chaos he noticed something curious: superman looked pissed.
The man looked as if he was 10 seconds away from declaring a full on war upon the rest of the leaguers. His fists clenching so hard around the sides of his chair that it looked like he would break it at any moment.
Bruce didn't quite understand why the man was so angry. Did Kal secretly hate him or something? He looked around to see if any of the others had noticed this sudden change in behavior, seeing that both J'onn and Diana were giving the kryptonian worried glances. But the rest seemed oblivious to the enraged man, continuing with describing how they would quote "climb Bruce like a tree".
Things came to a boil when Guy decided to give his opinion on the matter. "obviously i'd marry Bruce Wayne! No way in hell i would ever pass up the chance for unlimited access to that mans ass! The way i would be fucking him raw literally every day. Fuck i'd probably just have him be naked at all times for easy access" That comment seemed to be what drove Kal over the edge. "THAT'S ENOUGH" he bellowed as he stood up so fast that his chair was thrown into the wall behind him. The room became dead quiet, everyone staring at Kal as he seemed to realize what he had just done, his rage deflating a bit.
While Bruce appreciated that Kal had stopped the disgusting remarks, he couldn't quite place the reasoning behind this sudden outburst.
Guy decided then that he wasn't quite finished, not deterred by the clearly angry man who could easily snap him in half, and deciding to push a bit further. "why so upset supes? I mean most of us agreed we would love to use that man as a personal cum dumpster" Bruce felt bile rising in is throat at the choice of words "why does that bother you so much?" Guy leaned back in his chair, looking weirdly pleased with himself.
"Don't fucking talk about him like that!" Kal growled, anger clearly bubbling up again. Guy rolled his eyes "oh please, we all know Bruce is a massive man-whore! He's probably slept with half of Gotham" "shut up!" said through closed teeth as Kal's jaw visibly tightened. Then Guy delivered the final blow. "Maybe i should pay Brucie a little visit after this meeting, huh? I bet i could fuck that tight ass of his all night and still make him beg for more."
Kal flew over the table before anyone could do anything to stop him. He grabbed Guy by the collar of his suit and pulled the man a few feet above the ground. All of this happening so fast that Guy had no time to react. Superman pulled his arm back, readying what would undoubtedly be a nasty punch. And in the heat of the moment, Kal messed up, as he shouted at Guy. "Don't you dare say that shit about my fucking boyfriend."
The whole room froze, Including both Kal, and Bruce who had finally managed to put the pieces together. So much for being the worlds greatest detective.
Guy just stared dumbly at the man still holding him up in the air. "your what now???" Kal.. no, Clark stared back at Guy with wide eyes for a second, before letting go of his collar. Guy quickly floated back down into his chair, the embarrassment evident on his face.
Clark took a deep breath before slowly lowering himself until his feet met the floor again, now standing in the middle of the room, his eyes firmly trained on the floor "Bruce Wayne is my boyfriend." He looked over at all of them before continuing." And i really don't appreciate the way you guys were talking about him." his voice was stern as he pointed his glare towards Guy.
There was a moment of silence, before Diana decided to speak up. "I apologize, we did not know this fact. If we had we would of course never had made such remarks." The other leaguers nodded their heads along with what Diana was saying. Some of them echoing the statement with short apologies of their own. "I didn't know Bruce was seeing anyone. How long have you two been together?" Oliver asked, probably in an attempt to brighten the mood a bit.
Surprisingly this seemed to work somewhat, as Clark visibly relaxed a bit before answering. "It's been almost a year now. Although i still haven't told him about... all of this" He gestured his arm towards the insignia his chest, all of them understanding very well what he meant. "I've been wanting to tell him for a while now, but i'm honestly just so scared of loosing him."
That's when Bruce snapped back into reality. He had been completely dazed throughout this entire exchange, having been totally overwhelmed by everything that had just happened, But that was when it clicked. Superman and his boyfriend were the same person... he was dating superman this whole time. How had he not realized? And now superman, his boyfriend, was confiding in his team, (their team?!?!) about how he had been fretting about the exact same thing as Bruce. It was all just too much for him.
His facade cracked. Batmans unbreakable facade cracked, as he started laughing. Laughing so loudly that all other heads in the room whipped to face him. Laughing so hard that he started running out of breath. Everyone just stared at him dumbfounded. Clark looked so surprised that he forgot to even be mad about his teammate laughing at him.
Bruce laughed for another 15 seconds before finally managing to still his laughing, only letting out small giggles as he tried to find the right words. (These giggles just seemed to scare the team.) Finally he managed to say something, but he spoke in a voice that was foreign to most of them. "I'm so sorry, i really didn't mean to laugh at you Clark." Clarks eyes widened in realization. "This night has just been so crazy, i don't think i've ever been so uncomfortable in my whole life" Bruce continued. "And on top of that i find out about this through a game of fuck, marry, kill." He let out another string of giggles. 'Screw it all' he thought to himself.
"I guess now it makes perfect sense why you always seem to conveniently be caught up at work every time i've had to cancel one of our dates to attend a JL meeting." Bruce gave Clark one of his signature smiles, before quickly pulling off the cowl in a smooth and practiced motion.
The reactions were priceless, he heard multiple shocked gasps, a whispered 'holy shit' from Captain Atom, as well as a low 'no fucking way' from Oliver. Guy looked like he had just seen a ghost. His skin becoming pale, sweat dripping cartoonishly from his forehead and his eyes opened wide. All this seemed a relatively appropriate response to finding out that the man they had just been loudly sexualising and fantasising about had in fact heard every single word of it.
Bruce then turned to Clark, who looked at him with evident shock, but also a sweet and soft admiration.
"I'm sorry i didn't tell you about any of this earlier." Bruce said, holding his gaze firmly locked on Clarks. "I honestly didn't even know how to broach the topic." "No need to apologise Bruce, i understand" Clark smiled at him, as he made his way through the room and towards where Bruce was sitting.
As Clark reached him Bruce stood up, reaching his hands out and intertwining Them with Clarks. Clarks smile brightened and the look in his eyes were so filled with love that Bruce thought his heart might actually jump right out of his chest. All the noise of the world around them was silenced as they held onto each other silently. Then Clark gently placed a hand on his cheek, their faces slowly nearing, before Clark finally closed the gap between their lips in a sweet yet passionate kiss. They kept kissing for what felt like ages, Clark snaking his hand along Bruce's waist and pulling him even closer.
"Holy shit! Am i dreaming or are Batman and Superman actually kissing each other right now?!" Barry exclaimed, mouth hanging open in shock. "Maybe we're having mass hallucinations ." Hal replied. "I almost feel like asking someone to pinch me so i can be sure it's real. Ow! That was a joke Hawkman, i wasn't actually asking you to pinch me."
Clark pulled away from Bruce, snickering at the comments coming from their teammates. Bruce just kept staring at Clark. He feared his eyes might actually become heart shaped if he kept eye contact with the man any longer.
Clark seemed to have a solution to this problem as he, quite unceremoniously, lifted Bruce up bridal style and with a wide grin on his face announced. "We're going home now." Before walking out of the room, Bruce still in his arms, and heading over to one of the Zeta-tubes.
The room they had just left was quiet again as everyone tried to piece together what in the actual hell had just happened.
Once Bruce and Clark were finally alone in the comfort of the bat cave, and Clark had put him down again, Bruce asked a question that he hadn't been able to get out of his mind since the whole reveal. "If you didn't know that i was Batman, why were you shooting me worried glances earlier when i zoned out?" Clark looked surprised at the question, but then he let out a chuckle "Honestly it's kind of embarrassing" "I won't judge." Bruce said, his curiosity peaked. Clark smiled at him before continuing" well, i kind of had a crush on you- or well like not you-you, but like- wait no of course i had a crush on you-you i mean you're my boyfriend and i'm obsessed with you of course i mean.." Clark paused and took a deep breath, clearly frustrated by his own choice of words. Bruce just smiled adoringly at the man. He loved seeing Clark get all flustered and rambling. "What i meant to say is that i've kinda had a small crush on Batman for a few years now." His face turning red with the confession.
"I mean it was only a tiny crush and i was never planning on acting on it of course! I would never cheat on you with... yourself? Or anyone else for that matter." This made Bruce laugh. Not the loud crazy laugh from earlier, but instead a quieter, more intimate laugh.
"You know what's funny?" Bruce said, his smile becoming a smirk. "i've always had this small fantasy of seeing you in a superman costume." As he said this he moved towards Clark and pulled the man towards himself, placing his arms on either side of Clarks neck. He lowered his head so their cheeks were touching, his lips inches away from Clarks ear as he whispered in a low tone. "Of you having to save me, only to ravish me afterwards."
"Oh." Clark grabbed his hips hard, almost as if to stabilize himself. "Well in that case, i think we should fulfil that fantasy."