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It had been almost too easy to get the boy to agree to this. These clandestine trysts while the boy was supposed to be in class, or working, or any number of things. When you put it like that, it almost sounded romantic. However, romance was probably the furthest thing from Shuu's mind.
If he squinted, just a little, he could imagine a different face, one that haunted him still. Warm, forever laughing. The sort of person that Shuu could never hope to be.
The angle was wrong, the boy being shorter than Ryuuji, but he was pliable, easily moulded. Shuu reached down to dishevel that mop of blue hair a little more, then kissed the boy hungrily. The kiss was rough and hard, but the boy clung to him eagerly, affection-starved as he was.
Ryuuji had never had any sense of personal space either, always reaching across him to retrieve paperwork or leaning his head on Shuu's shoulder to read over it. An...endearing trait. Was that the word for it? Shuu paused internally to try and process that emotion, but his thoughts were suddenly jolted back.
"Iwamine-sensei...."
The boy moaned beneath him, and the illusion was broken. This was not Ryuuji he was kissing; it would never be Ryuuji again. He broke the kiss sharply, leaving the boy gasping, with a flushed face and slightly glazed eyes.
"You may go now."
His tone might have been unnecessarily sharp - the boy flinched a little, and a hurt expression flashed across his face before he could control it. Shuu returned to his desk, straightening papers meaninglessly to regain some semblance of composure.
"Um..."
He looked up, the boy had paused in the doorway, looking somewhat uncertain.
"Should I come back-"
"Tomorrow."
The word left his mouth with some finality, but the boy must have heard something of a promise in it. His cheeks flushed again, and he smiled a little, making something within Shuu burn painfully.
As he listened to the footsteps echo down the corridor, Shuu wondered if perhaps this could be counted as a form of masochism.