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Chapter Text

Three months on the whole wasn't a very long time to solve this problem. Her parents were counting on it. They had always underestimated her. They weren't bad parents, just ill equipped to be girl parents not to mention an only child. Still they loved her and did actually want the best for her, even if this was completely misguided.

She had an ace under her sleeve. Well… at least she hoped, as she strode in her Lilac unspeakable robes confidently through the DMLE. Stopping and taking a deep breath before knocking.

"Enter" Came the deep voice from with in and without hesitating she pushed the door opened. "Pansy, ahem. Hello— Hi, Greg is away right now."

Good pure bred raising showing it self, standing at the entrance of a lady, Neville stood up from his desk as abruptly as she'd come in, nearly up ending his tattered tea mug. She did wonder how either men who shared this office ever navigate it's cramped spaces. From the looks of his heavily chipped mug, he did it with as much grace as he had back in school, like an erumpunt in a divination shop.

"Good. I am actually here to see you, Longbottom."

"Me?" His eyes widened in a such a comedic way.

"Yes you, no need to open your eyes wide I am not giving you any eye drops." Pansy said unable to keep the snark back. "I need your help."

"Sure anything." He replied so bloody earnestly it gave her a migraine.

"You can't just say yes without knowing what you are getting into."

"I absolutely can, I just did. For you I'd do anything, which you know. I am assuming that is why you are here but fine Pans, I'll play. Sit and explain what you want."

Pansy rolled her eyes. Damn him, she wanted to say he was wrong but instead sat in the offered chair. She knew it would require minimum coercion but she never expected none.

"So Pans, or would you prefer Ms. Parkinson? What can I do for you that Greg can't? Something that you wont just accept my help without explaining your self?" He said sitting himself on his chair and crossing his arms on his chest.

Fucking prat. Fine he wanted to play? Let's play. "Pansy is fine. What I need is for you to court me for the next six months."

He immediately started coughing, his ears and cheeks growing crimson. "You want me to court you?" He managed to splutter out.

"See I told you not to agree to things before you know the full of it." She answered feeling justifiably smug about it.

"You misunderstand me, Pansy. I am still saying yes. I just want to understand why YOU would want ME to court you. Surely you have many handsome and rich men trailing after your who would be happy for the opportunity to court you. Why me?"

Was this man for real? Did he not know who he was? Had he not seen himself in a mirror? "You are also handsome and I am plenty rich enough for the both of us." Was his only complaint that he had low self esteem? "It would just be six months. Then you can go back to whom ever you are pining for."

"Wont be necessary." Neville spoke from under a frown. Was that disappointment she was reading or annoyance?

"It could be less. You can even blame me after. Salazar, knows no one would doubt that a viper like myself, would wrong the precious Gryffindor war hero. Actually I expect they will be salivating at the mouth for it." Something about what she had just said displeased him, she could tell that much.

"Why don't you explain the why; and we will figure out that what and when together," he said in his patented calm.

"Fine! My parents are ready to sign a betrothal contact with Adrian Pusey. They have agreed to let me find a suitable replacement with the deadline of next ministry gala."

"But that's three months from now. You said six months." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. Was it of her or the plan?

"Yes but for Adrian to truly believe it and back off it needs to be believable. That's why I said six months but we can just judge it and see." She said and she hated how desperation crept into her voice.

"Right", he continued calm as always, like her whole future did not hinge on this conversation. "That won't work."

"What?" She practically screamed at him.

"Well if you want Percival and Priscilla to believe that you'd let me court you for real, enough that they would tell Pucey to fuck off. The people we need to convince is your Great Aunt Philomena and my Gran."

"Fuck." Pansy groaned, she hadn't considered nosy aunt Philly. He was right of course she would never buy it for a second and she'd tell her parents to just tell Adrien to wait.

"So here is what we will do."

"You are still willing to help me?"

"Of course, Pansy." His voice was always softer when he said her name. Throughout all the years they had known each other her name in his tongue always took a velvety soft texture. "If you still want me to."

She nodded, chewing her lower lip, a habit her mother despised. He smiled kindly at her and got up hitting a filling cabinet almost up ending a plant there, which righted it self. Same thing happened at he came back with a tea pot and a clean cup for her.

"Okay so no one is going to believe that I would court anyone, let alone the most brilliant woman in society." He started after pouring her the most perfect cup of tea. "I am not known for my pure blood up bringing. My gran would be suspicious. I date. Mostly in secret because I don't like the attention."

She nodded along feeling her hope diminish with every word.

"So that's what I propose. We will go on dates, real dates. We keep quiet, but start making it a bit obvious around our friends, so that when we announce that I am officially courting you few people will doubt it."

She took another sip as she mulled this over. "So we pretend that we are dating and then announce it."

"No. We go on dates. I will take you out to dinner, for coffee and drinks, we will go on outings on the weekend. On the stupid gatherings Nott insists on throwing in an attempt to get Ginny and Malfoy to see reason and stop merely fucking in increasingly public places, you will sit next to me and we will leave coincidentally a the same time. I wont touch you if you don't want to but our friends need to be suspicious. If you are still spending time with Zabini and Nott and doing girl dinners with Daphne, Millie, and Tori no one is going to believe you were dating me in secret."

That, was, very well thought through. Pansy pursed her lips twisting them from side to side looking around the office he shared with Gregory, so many plants in such a cramped space. "Okay but why real dates you really don't have to go through all that trouble. I am already asking for so much."

A small deep chuckle escaped his lips and he ran his fingers through his hair. "You aren't asking for too much Pans."

Now it was her turn to laugh. "Come off it. Longbottom this isn't like when we were 8 and I forced you to play tea party with me. What you are proposing is almost a year of your life being spent on me and my problems."

He took up his chipped cup and just shrugged. Like this wasn't a big deal. "You need to be recompensed. I will pay for the dates and I will… I will donate money to your favourite cause. You name it and how much I don't care."

"Nope." He said popping the 'p' with a smirk in his face like he knew he was infuriating her, which he was.

"Longbottom you cannot pay for all those dates and also not get sex for almost a whole year." The blush that spread over the tops of his ears made the statement worth it.

After dragging his hand over his face and taking a deep breath he finally looked up at her and she couldn't help the smirk in her own face. She had forgotten how fun it was to rile him up.

"I'm glad that we are finally in agreement that the dates will happen. As for what I get besides the most beautiful and smartest witch out there by my side; I get Luna and Ginny to stop trying to set me up with their single friends and Gran to stop asking if I ever plan on settling down. If that is not enough you can owe me a favour of my choosing to be called upon at a later date."

She narrowed her eyes at him… what was he scheming. If she didn't know better she would assume that heart of gold, war hero, snake slayer, wouldn't have it in his hearts to be scheming; but she did know him better. She known him for far too long. "Fine," she said with an exhale. "Longbottom, I accept your terms." Pansy started to stand up.

"Great! I will see you at 6." He grinned at her, "and Pansy you really should go back to calling me Neville."

As he said that the door opened Gregory lumbering in. "Gregory! Good. Longbottom was tiring me with a herbological speech you are taking me to lunch."

Gregory just blinked looking flummoxed but nonetheless followed her back out.

Chapter Text

Pansy hated first dates and her one joy was getting ready for them. Picking just the right outfit to kill the poor shmuck. Painting her face just right to make whomever was across the table from her a mindless puddle had always given her the biggest power rush.

Not today. No, today she had spent all afternoon in her apartment looking through all her options in a tizzy. She had even called for reinforcements something she hadn't done since her Hogwarts years. She had then promptly kicked Millie and Daphne out. Her sustaining glass of wine had been more help in deciding it was a skirt day. Not her tight pencil skirts, which she knew would show her ass and hips the best. This was not that kind of date.

This was a fake date, and all she had to go from Longbottom's owl was that he had to change the time from 6 pm to 7 pm due to Gregory leaving him with the paperwork… again, and that there was no need to dress very fancy but he knew she would always be the best dressed in any place.

Daphne and Millie had both been perplexed by her inability to choose an outfit which had just drawn a lot of questions about who she was going out with and why. They were convinced her indecision was due to 'real' feelings towards mystery man. Now back in blessed solitude dressed in a tan tweed circle skirt and a white silk blouse, paired with her burgundy cloak drinking the last few sips of her glass of wine, as she put the final touches to her make up; she had to admit the brilliance in Longbottom's plan.

Everything from Gregory's questions at lunch about what she had been talking to Longbottom about. To Daphne and Millie knowing she was going on a date would only work in cementing the idea that this ruse was real.

Swoosh. She heard the floo come to live. "I'll be right there I am just putting the last touches of make up." This line had always been a good test to see how the wizard would react even if this was the first time she didn't have to manufacture the moment.

"That's okay, take all the time you need, Pansy." Came Neville's calm jovial voice.

Putting the last swipe of her signature deep red lipstick on, she walked out to Neville giving his back to her as he inspected the titles on her bookshelf holding a large bouquet behind in his hands.

She wished she had more time to study him, he looked good in a dark blue robe, but as soon as he heard the click of her stiletto heels Neville turned around beaming at her. Clearly if she wanted to sneak up on an auror she was going to have to work harder.

"You look stunning Pansy," He said a shy grin on his face as he offered the flowers. "These are for you."

Pansy took the the large bouquet with a riot of crocus, daisies, lilacs, baby's breath and wheat, all tied up in a beautiful yelllow silk ribbon. With out a doubt this was the most beautiful flower arrangement she had ever received and she was not going to look too closely why a fake date was already starting better than some of her real ones. "Thanks Longbottom. You didn't have to. It's all fake."

Neville's grin just widdened. "It is Neville. You used to have no problem saying my name once upon a time. Anyway, all beautiful women deserve beautiful flowers." Before Pansy had a chance to think of a cutting remark in attempt to have a more secure footing, he added. "Besides this way when you have your friends over they can ask about the flowers and you can act all coy about the dinner that was most definitely not fake, with a man who is also not fake."

Pansy rolled he eyes at his antics but smiled nonetheless. She should have know better. Of course Neville would be extra.

"Okay now for said dinner. There are choices." He continued while she summoned a vase and put the flowers in water.

"Choices?"

"Yes. Choices. Two to be precise. After you left this afternoon I got to thinking. I didn't really give you much of an option. Did I?" He asked almost shyly, "I talked about how I prefer to date but I realized that given chance to properly date you I'd do it however you wanted." Neville said still with that infuriating lopsided grin. "So we can go public tonight and go to the Maison Vingt-Huit. Get photographed, article on your parents breakfast table by the morning."

"Or?" Pansy asked her hands on her hips, her eyebrow raised, and her lips pursed. That had it's appeal. Rip the bandaid in style. Top billing in the social pages of the Daily Prophet. She could see the head line now, Snake Slayer Slithering His Way into the Slytherin Princess Heart? Fuck she could probably write the article too. She could also see the next couple of months. The reporters at her door, at his door, at the ministry.

"Or I can take you to my favourite little pub."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Obviously I don't want it in the papers. Plus this secret dating is rather slytherin."

Minutes later she was being led to a small pub by a warm large hand that covered the expanse of the small of her back.

"Neville! Just seat where ever you like." A voice spoke from behind the bar.

"Thanks, Miriam." Neville continued confidently over to a small snug in the back.

Pansy looked around curiously. It was clearly an old establishment well worn and homey. She somehow felt cozy here.

"Regretting it so far Pans?" Neville spoke with laughter in his voice as Pansy looked around.

"Nah," She answered looking back at the man across her. "This is cozy."

"You mean small."

"No! It is lovely. It is all well loved."

"You mean Dingy."

"What do I have to say to convince you that I actually like this place?"

Before he had a chance to reply, an older woman in her 60's came over to them. "Neville it is so lovely to see you! You haven't been in a while. Busy? with work? and who must this lovely lady be?"

"Miriam," Neville answered with his widest smile. "It is lovely to see you I have not been around these parts in a while very busy at work. Meet Ms. Pansy Parkinson my date." He said it so freely, clearly this was someone he had known for a while.

"Nice to meet you dear." The old woman said with that smile that crinkles the eyes. "You are lucky this one is one of the good ones."

"Like wise." Pansy replied.

"What would you like darling? I know his order, he hasn't changed it in the past 5 years."

"Hey now! Miriam! Maybe I want something else! Maybe I want to try whatever my date wants." Neville said hurriedly tips of his ears tinging in pink.

"Ohhhh pish posh. Like you'd say no to my bangers and mash."

Pansy shoulder hunched in supressed laughter as Neville spluttered. "Nooo… never… it is just that."

"You know Miriam. His usual sounds amazing I would also love some of your bangers…. and mash. Are they covered in gravy? I love some saucy bangers." Pansy replaied licking her lips and winking at Neville who only shook his head and and hid his blush behind his hands.

"Oh of course they are! And what would you like to drink. He usually has the stout but you don't seem like a stout girl." Miriam replied beaming

"Stout is great. Thanks."

Miriam nodded and left them.

"You didn't have to order that you could have ordered anything else you know."

"Yeah I know but I happen to like stout and mash happens to be a comfort food. Do not tell my mom."

"I remember. Didn't you ask Tippy if you could have a bowl of it when Gregory broke your doll when we were 7."

Pansy's eyes widened for a second. She had completely forgotten about that incident. "Oh Merlin! Yes, and Tippy refused because my mom wouldn't have liked it."

He nodded a soft smile in his face. "I still don't understand why you couldn't have mash."

Two stouts got placed infront of them and they cheered taking a sip before pansy ansred with an eyeroll "You are not a girl thats why you will never understand, and anyway I did end up getting mash that night anyway didn't I?"

"Wouldn't know what you are talking about." Neville's smile turned upwards into a smirk.

"Sure you don't? You wouldn't happen to know why Gorm showed up in my bedroom that night with a heaping plate of the most delicious buttery mash I have had in my life."

Neville hid his now very wide smirk by taking a sip of his beer. "He has free will and is a very nosy elf. I did nothing but tell Gran about what happened. Honest."

"Sure you did."

Chapter Text

camilias- longing for you

cornflowers- hope in love

dafodils-unrequited love

The next weekend he had taken her to the magical side of the botanical gardens. Apparently once a herbology dork always a herbology dork. This at least explained why his and Gregory's office resembled a intricate jungle. She had been surprised to receive flower on Monday at her apartment; Camilias, Cornflowers and Daffodills. They came by Neville's own owl so she had to believe he had made the arrangement himself. No note.

"So as a date how would you rate this." Neville asked from where he was stretched out on a blanket as he picked a grape from the generous platter of food he had brought along.

Pansy eyed him suspiciously and then looked around the space as if only now starting to asses. "Well, it is a very pretty place and if anyone cared about herbological knowledge they would sure to be impressed by your extensive knowledge. Food is good. Wine is better, though. How did you manage to get a Le Mie Muses Franciacorta by the way? Blaise doesn't sell his wines here and you aren't actually friends."

He grinned, such a fucking infuriating grin. "I have my way Pans." he winked as he took a sip of the delicious crispy bubly wine. "As for the rest, you used to like flowers."

"I did but I never needed to know so much about them. You just wouldn't stop talking about them in Narcissa's garden and honestly between quidditch talk and flower talk I chose flowers. They were prettier." He had been and was prettier, and kinder, and gentler. He didn't expect anything from her not then not now. If she said they were done they were done. If she said they were going to play house he always said 'Sure Pans, whatever you like.'

She had forgotten much of their time before Hogwarts. Had actually forgotten him in her childhood. She knew when and why. She also knew she would not be exploring that subject much more deeply.

"Narcissa did have a lovely garden."

"Still is."

"Oh yeah? Maybe I'll ask if I can go visit one of these days. I haven't been there since that luncheon right before we started Hogwarts."

"You should. " She said not expanding on that luncheon. He seemed to be over the harsh words and actions he'd been at the receiving end. He worked well with Gregory according to Gregory. Did he even have much contact with any of the other Slytherins?

Theodore had an obvious connection to the lions. Being inseparable with the Chosen One since his very public break up with Weaslette. Not to mentions Potter's coming out as a Bi-chaos as Theodore called him. Not that Theodore had ever mentioned Neville; Granger and Weasel, yes.

She remembered Draco mentioning Neville in passing. What was it? "Quidditch."

"Is that your safe word Pansy? I didn't think we were doing anything that requiered one." Neville said with a smirk.

Pansy rolled her eyes hiding her mortification. She hadn't meant to say it out loud. Draco had mentioned Neville in regards to quidditch. "Just that I am surprise to find out that you are a fan of quidditch."

"I am not." He said narrowing his eyes looking mildly insulted.

"I have it on good authority that you are an avid Harpie's fan," She smirked at him. If she got nothing out of this conversation at least she could get intel for Draco 'I am not in love with Weasley' Malfoy, "Or is it that you are a fan of a certain red headed star chaser?"

Neville lifted one eyebrow looking incredulous at her. "You jealous?"

"Well ignoring that this is all fake, she was your date to the Yule ball."

"You remember who my date was?"

Pansy shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, "Yes well not many third years went to ball. People took notice."

"Sure… people." He looked at her with a knowing smile, "Well if you remember that, I am sure you will also remember Gin was not my first choice for dance partner."

"Ohhhh yes your humiliation in the library was wide spread gossip at the time. Can't believe Granger kept Krum quiet for so long."

Neville laughs, he dares to laugh. "Oh Godric! I had forgotten that. Gin wasn't even my second choice. I was really a lost cause."

"I will not apologize." Pansy says quickly, harshly.

"Never asked you to." Neville replies evenly, unbothered.

"I maintain that you were insane and naive to believe I would say yes."

"I believe those were you exact words ten years ago. Still the same way you stand by what you said I stand by my actions." He speak with such certainty. "You were the only girl I truly wanted to go to that dance with."

"Yet you still asked two other girls out." Pansy spats out unsure as to why. It was 10 years ago. She isn't actually jealous. She went with Draco. She had a beautiful pink dress. It was a great night, even if her date was an idiot and didn't want to dance. Even if the guy she had wanted to go with seemed to be having the best night of his life.

"Hermione and Ginny are my friends. It is all they have ever been, all they will ever be. You…" he takes a deep breath and looks always letting the sentence hang, before changing the subject, "Why did you mention Quidditch, Pans?"

"Just that the Neville I remember never enjoyed Quidditch much, 'Hate it on principle' he used to say. Yet I heard you frequent the Harpies games."

"I still don't enjoy it much. I am however best friends with the best chaser in the league and when she has a home game she gets tickets and asks me to go. I like supporting my friends." He looks at her then as if he was assessing, nodding coming to some decision he continues. "Actually, she is playing the Falcons in two weeks, I could get tickets if you'd like to go and see her play Malfoy?"

"Ohhhh…" Pansy answered glee and trepidation running through her.

"I know you aren't a fan of Quidditch either and we would still be going as friends, but I would like for you to get to meet Gin and the rest of my friends." He starts speaking rapidly, "You can even wear Falcon's gear no one will mind."

"Green is much more my colour." She says smiling.

"So you will come?" and Pansy nods making some strategic decisions in her head "Good!" And his voice sounds so relieved she cant help look up at him. Was he really thinking she would say no? Why would it even matter?

"I think Luna will be there with Rolf and probably Ron and Hermione. It will be good."

"I am sure it will, by the way does– Weaslette talk about Draco at all?"

That had him actually laughing. "Oh you mean the biggest stars in Quidditch and how they are madley in love with each other and believe no one else can see it? Yeah she talks about Malfoy. 'Godric could he be more of a peacock. He shows off so much! Did you see who he left the arena with?' I expect them to be married by the end of the fall."

"Married? Not like dating?" Pansy asked curious about some one else take on the couple.

"I don't think either of them know how to do things by halves."

Chapter Text

On Wednesday Pansy received an inter office memo written in sage ink colour.

Dear Pansy,

I hope you had a good start to your week. I have to unfortunately cancel our date on Saturday. Something has come up and even though I should no longer be doing field work I am being sent out. Would you like to meet me at the coffee shop for a sneaky pastry and a cuppa? I don't think I would love to see you before I leave.

Yours,

Neville

Pansy wanted to say no. She wanted to remind him that this was all fake and he didn't have to try so hard; but she knew him, he would always put 100% of himself in whatever he did. She also reasoned that this would be a good step in going public. Getting people to become comfortable with seeing the two together.

She was also hungry, grumpy and could use a cup of tea and a sneaky treat.

Half an hour later she was ordering a lavender cranberry scone and a tea when a deep voice behind interrupted her thoughts, "Let me treat you." Turning to find Neville in his full deep burgundy Auror uniform, looking rather dashing. Which he had no business being and she had no business thinking it.

"Fine." She answered rolling here eyes and crossing her arms as if this was an inconvenience instead of a kindness. Moving over to a table outside in the atrium. A good place to people watch.

"Thank you for agreeing to this." Neville said as the set her scone and tea in front of her, a coffee and croissant in front of him. "I know this wasn't part of the deal."

"I didn't come to see you. I came for treats I have also been having a horrid week at work." Weeks if she was honest. Ever since her promotion that felt more like a demotion.

"Oh? What's going on? Could I help?"

Pansy raised her eyebrow incredulous and she considered it a feat that she didn't out right scoff. "Nope. I know you can be slow sometimes, so let me remind you. Lilac robes." She said as she ran her fingertips on the lapels of her lilac acrumantula silk robes. "Mean I am an Unspeakable. Which in turn means that we do not speak, discuss, chit-chat, nor gossip about our work. We aren't aurors."

Neville was grinning at her. Did the man ever get upset? He used to as a child. "Do aurors do a lot of speaking, discussing, chit-chatting or gossiping about our work?"

"You are infamous for it." She said taking a sip of her scalding tea, just like she liked it. "The ammount of stuff I know from Theodore's cases should be studied."

"Not all of us are Theodore Nott." Neville replied with the proper amoung of insult in his voice at being compared to Theodore.

"Talking about not all of you being like Theodore; do you really not like feild work? Both Gregory and Theodore live for it and winge every time they are assigned to desk duty."

Neville sighed heavilly putting his coffee down. "At first I thought it was really exciting. You know going on the hunt for dark wizards, making a difference. Then you realize that you are only really hunting idiots who got in trouble with the law, spending your days and nights in a dingy grimy place with and equally grimy partner. Most likely sleeping on the floor, if you are lucky. Eating scarps."

Pansy considered all this a rather reasonable stance to have. "But you are an Auror."

"Thank you for noticing." He slipped his hands down his broad chest making a show of his shiny golden buttons on his uniform.

Pansy rolled her eyes and continued as if she hadn't been rudely interrupted. "Isn't field work an integral part of your job?"

He smriked looking smug. "Not for me, not any more."

"Are you telling me you are so inncompetent that you got shackled with desk duty from now on, unless they are so desperate they have to call you in?"

"The opposite actually. I am so good at what I do they made a whole new position just for me. I start, officially, in two months. A fact Harry is exploiting in order to get me to the feild."

"What are you saying about my sexy boyfriend, Longbottom?" Theodore's voice cut in as he took a seat from a near by table turning it around and straddling it.

"That he is on thin ice with me for putting me on this raid." Neville answered with a much more terse tone she had ever heard him use.

"Oh come on Longbottom! He is doing you a favour. One last raid before you are off to your boring mastery."

"Mastery?" Pansy asked eyeing Neville who just sort of shrugged. In all their fake dates they never talked about work. In large part becuase she worked where she worked and it had been trained out of her, but another part is because there wasn't any planning for the future. It was eight months of their life who cared. Now she was curious.

"Yes his second one." The voice of one Hermione Granger, golden girl, well woman, in all her curly hair glory, added as she too brought a seat over and sat down at their table.

"Third." She heard Neville muttering under his breath, taking a sip of his coffee to cover it.

"So mastery?" Pansy asked him narrowing her eyes. "On what?"

"Isn't this your teaching one?" Granger answers for him.

"No. I thought it was another herbology one." Theodore is the one to answer this time.

"He has that one already." Granger answers Theodore in the most bazzar conversation Pansy had ever been a part of.

"I have two." Neville murmured behind his coffee cup again.

"Right." Theodore continued undaunted. "So he has one herbology mastery and now he is getting another one. A british one this time." Theodore says as if that settles that.

"I am not sure what is worse you both answering a question for Neville or the fact that you don't actually know the answer to the question. So lets try this again," Pansy spoke cuttingly as she lowered her cup to the saucer. "Neville."

There was a pause in which she could see Granger and Theodore skwirm in their seats as Neville made eye contact with her. "Yes Pansy?"

"What is your newest Mastery about?"

Neville smirkked widely at her. "Thank you for asking. I am taking a mastery with Professor Sprout on Native Species of Magical and Mundane Flora of Scotland."

"That is very interesting. And what were your other masteries on?" Pansy continued asking seeing Hermione straighten up as if to correct her that the only had one other.

"My first was an extensive one on the Native Species of Magical and Mundane Flora of England and then I took a smaller but no less facinating mastery in Native Species of Magical and Mundane Flora of Wales."

Apparently Pansy was not the only one to look like this was brand new information. "Thats… impressive."

"Thanks." He grinned at her.

"Wait that would make one of the most preeminent herbologist in the British Isles." Granger said looking rather astonished.

"Yep." Neville said simply.

Hermione looked like he was lost in focus before giving herself a shake and turning towards Theodore.

"Nott I have been looking for you. I need your notes on Dennis' arrest."

"Dennis got arrested?" Neville asked looking rather allarmed, "Another explosion?"

"No… He used magic in front of his family. Pucey wants to try him for flagrant use of magic in front of a muggle." Granger said

"But… its his family." Neville relied dumfounded.

"Well, his family is muggle. His parents are muggles, and while logically they know he is a wizard. Logic has never entered the Magical Code of Law. MCoL states that, 'Any magic done infront of a muggle is unlawful.' Dennis was at the Leaky telling Dean about helping around the house so his mum didn't have to do the cleaning and washing. Pucey heard, demanded an arrest and is now witness and prosecutor." Granger answered sucinctly.

Pansy wished she was more suprised about what she was hearing, "So Adrien, the idiot, got his knickers in a fucking twist over basic, no fuss, domestic charms, becuase he is as useless at those as he is in every other aspect in his life besides being an awful inconvinience?"

"Pretty much." Theodore answered, "When he floo the aurors, Harry said I should go so that no one can accuse the arresting auror of favouritism towards a DA member."

"Pansy you under sold him." Neville said,clearly too in shock to realize where they were and who they were with. She could already see Theodore narrowing her eyes at her.

"I should get back to my job. Leave you three to your auror stuff." She said standing up before anyone could question it too hard.

Chapter Text

Ronald Weasley was the surprise of the evening. It seemed that the years since Hogwarts had made him much more palatable. Either he had gotten less annoying or she had grown enough not to have petty biases… who knew? What she did know is that that man had good banter.

"Who’s the one with the Quaffle?" Pansy asked inocently.

"You went to Hogwarts for eight years and still don’t know what a Chaser is, Parkinson?"

Pansy shurgged delicalately, "I know he has excellent thighs."

"That’s Magnus Vale! He’s only the Falcons’ top scorer for the last three seasons!"

"Congratulations to his thighs, then. I don’t do sports, I do aesthetics. You on the other hand… well enough said."

"Whats that supposed to mean."

"Ronald you don't do either." That earned her a big belly laugh.

The game had actually been a rousing success. Not for Draco, whos team lost spectacularly after their seeker caught the snitch in an outlandish and teatrical move. Which would have been great if it wasn't for the fact that his team was ten points short for the win and he was the seeker.

Pansy had spent the game drinking butter beers Neville got her and getting to know the other lions better. Blaise and Gregory the only other snakes in the Family and Friends box at the Harpies, wouldn't talk to her on principle. Fools.

"I have never seen Hermione this happy after a quidditch game. I mean don't get me wrong I am happy that Ginny won. I am just not as happy as she seems." Neville mused when it was all done for and they were waiting around for the players to come out from the dressing rooms.

"She is going to be in sufferable for a while." Ronald stated looking at his girlfriend and sounding defeated.

"Wasn't she always insufferable." Pansy asked incapable of helping herself.

"Yes." Both men answered in unison before breaking down in laughter. Once they managed to compose themselves Ronald added, "Hermione is wonderful. She is intelligent and caring. She is loyal and ridiculously capable. She is also intense and since the World Cup where Krum caught the snitch she has been on and on about it."

Pansy thought he was going to add something but at that momment the doors to the box opened and both team players started coming in. "YOU!" Pansy turned to see a rather enraged Draco coming towards her. "WHO THE FUCK LET YOU IN HERE? DON'T YOU REMEMBER YOU ARE BANNED. YOU ARE AT FAULT YOU MADE ME LOOSE!!"

"Oh calm the fuck down, Drake. You can't really believe that I made you catch the snitch early?"

"Zambini, Goyle which one of you allowed her in here. You know she is banned!" Draco looked enraged at his friend who were in a corner, cowering like the true cowards they were.

"She is with me." Neville said casually moving to stand behind her from where he had been standing while talking to Ronald.

"Longbottom?" That seemed to have discombobulated Draco enough to shut his mouth long enough for others to start talking.

"Good Godric Ferret always so dramatic. I thought Parkinson was your friend. Why are you making such a fucking show?" This time Ginevra Weasley was the one shouting. Getting rather close to his face, a thing Pansy hadn't been able to accomplish since they were about 14 years old and he got a growth spurt and she… well she stayed put.

"Red! I swear to Salazar this has nothing to do with you. See that you get out of this conversation and don't let the door hit your rather generous backside."

"She is my fan. She is with my best friend. So me and my stunning back side will stay right where we are."

Draco really looked at her now. Pansy had chosen wide, light italian wool pants in a dark forest green, and a tailored vintage Harpies jersey. He narrowed his eyes at her. "So not only do you show up to my game to make me loose but you don't even wear my jersey?"

"Drake you don't let me come to your games. So I came to a Harpies game. Therefore…" She answered while signalling towards her outfit.

"See Ferret she came to see my team not you. Suprising, I know, but you really aren't the reason for the season."

Draco who was, so close to Ginevra all Pansy could think is that they should kiss, already had his hands in a fist and looked misserable.

"RED! This is none of your busisness."

"IT IS!"

"Did you know I have never won a single game with Parks in attendance?"

That question had everyone staring at her including Neville, who looked more amused than perplexed.

"Is that so? Maybe I should befriend her and give her season tickets."

"You will do no such thing Red. That is low even for you."

"Our team fought for their win!"

"Ha, our team works smarter not harder"

"Which is why you lost." Ginevra said as swept her hair behind her shoulder, "Not becuase your ex girlfriend showed up to watch."

"This has nothing to do with the fact that Parks was my girlfriend decades ago." Draco crossed his arm starting to smile smugly, "Although I am honoured that you have followed my dating life."

"Its hard not to when it is splayed in all the trashy magazines for everyone to see!"

"Feel like getting out?" Neville's voice skated over her shoulders. Taking his offered hand Pansy nodded and they made a quiet but quick exit.

Once outside the stadium Neville sidelong aparated them to a quiet spot near Diagon alley. They continued walking hand in hand for a few blocks until Pansy noticed and with an embarrased flush she slipped her hand out off his and into her cloak's pocket. "Feel like some ice cream?"He said nodding towards Fortescue.

Pansy nodded not really wanting the evening end.

He led her towards the best booth for people watching and they sat at either side in companiable silence, watching people pass. Families shopping early for Hogwarts, couples enjoying the sun. Once Fabian came to take their order, smoke rum and raisins for him and red wine sorbett for her.

"I really wish they would just get together" Pansy finally said after taking a couple of the delicious and complex flavours.

"They really should. Who exactly do they think they are fooling?" Neville asked with an easy smile.

"No one" Pansy shrugged letting them go back to their quiet eating.

"Did Malfoy really ban you from quidditch games?" Neville asked breaking the subject once again.

"Yep. Third year after the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin game. He was pissed."

"But that makes no sense." Neville answered looking rather more angry than he should be for such a silly thing that happened more than a decade ago.

"It really isn't that big of a deal. I didn't actually like going it was cold and annoying. I don't think I wanted to go, I was just annoyed that he made it such a public thing. I couldn't let him just ban me so we had huge public rows every single game of fifth year and sixth."

"It is a big deal if it is based on lies."

"What?"

"You are telling me this happened after the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin game in our third year?"

"Yes?" What was he getting at?

"Look I had to live in the same room with Ron and Harry for fucking years and the only thing they talked more than what was Malfoy up to was fucking quidditch." Neville continued letting his ice cream melt, "in third year, Malfoy got hurt by the hypogryff Hagrid was showing us and made them change the schedule. They beat Ravenclaws and Hufflepluff before loosing to Gryffindor. I am assuming you went to the first games since your ban hadn't started."

Pansy's spoon clattered on the table. "That little ferret!"

"Sorry I didn't mean to… I don't know; alter the way you see your friend? I just, I didn't like how he treated you today."

Pansy just remained silent processing. Years. Years of feeling guilty for something that wasn't her fault.

"Are you done? I can walk you home or at least to the Leaky's floo?" Neville's voice broke through her whirling mind.

She nodded and stood but as soon as they were out of the store she turned to look up at him. "You really don't have to. It is just a couple blocks."

"Well I need the floo too and it is the minimum that I would do for any date."

"This isn't a date. It is all fake." Pansy said with conviction.

Neville just shrugged walking by her side matching his strides to her short ones.

Chapter Text

Dear Pansy,

It seem the world is conspiring against me and I am being forced to cancel another date. A true travesty. I am a little mollified that at least I will get a glimpse of you this weekend. Maybe even say hello.

I received an invitation to a 'House Unity' party at Nott Manor. Personally I think that makes it sound like he is launching his bid to become Head of the Wizagamot. I am assuming that Nott wont let you skip in the same way that Harry has made it quite clear that I am not allowed to miss it.

Would you join me for tea and a treat at the atrium cafe?

Anxiously hoping to see you,

Yours,

Neville

It did seem like their 'dates' kept on being cancelled. Last weekend he had been sent on another raid, which Neville had complained profusely. The raid meant that neither he nor Gregory had been at the cursed pub night that Theodore and Potter had organized that same weekend.

It had started fairly okay Ronald had kept her entertained. She had discovered that being a know it all, was not just annoying, it sometimes had its uses and Granger had given her some really great insight into where to take her research.

All in all not a terrible night until it all imploded when Ginevra had shown up with Warrington. Drake ever the jealous idiot had immediately picked a fight, ignoring his own date.

Drake insisted that they had not left together he had just stormed after because "How dare she call me a bouncing Ferret!"

Neville had asked then as he did now if she'd join him for tea. Salazar she wanted to. She was unfortunately stuck at work until late and had had to come in early. So much to do and understand in this new room. As soon as her reply with her apologies had left she had felt a hallow, she had almost said that maybe they could go to dinner another night but that was not how this relationship worked. This was all fake. She wasn't going to examine very carefully the feeling that kept being brought up when he sent up her favourite lavender cranberry scone an d dark sizzling tea.

The party was a mess. Of course. Theodore had planned it, which meant that it was equal parts decadent and deranged. She had made several scenarios in her head, playing 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' with old classmates had not been it. She was also pretty sure Theodore had charmed the bottle. It was the only way to to explain how Drake and Ginevra had matched.

Both had come without dates, thank Merlin, and had looked properly disgusted and upset at the match but as soon as the timer had sound, the door to the cabinet they had charmed had sprung opened revealing a barely dressed Ginevra and a Drake with his hand somewhere Pansy really rather not think about. It took them a few seconds to react but when they did they immediately jumped apart and made a show of wiping their mouths. Although Pansy did catch Draco licking his fingers once he was far from Ginevra. Gross.

Neville's words from when they had had ice cream weeks ago came back to her then. "Who exactly were they fooling?" Why the theatrics? Was it that dating in secret was their kink?

Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Neville talking with Tracey Davis of all people. Pansy had hoped to get to talk to him but the moment he had walked in, looking relaxed and comfortable in dark slacks and a white oxford, Gregory, the traitor, had introduced him to Tracey the cow.

That wasn't fair. Tracey was a lovely person but why was she going for Neville. They were so different, she was slick and fancy and Neville was down to earth. She needed someone else someone like… Ernie. Not Neville.

She would have to introduce the two at some other time. Why wasn't Neville doing anything about it? Tracey was currently looking at Neville like he was a lollipop and didn't even look at the bottle when she spun it. Everyone fell quiet watching the bottle stop in front of Ernie and then at Tracey waiting. Until finally Neville cleared his throat and with a kind smile, "Umm… I think Ernie is waiting."

"Huh?" Tracey looked utterly befuddled for a a little bit before slapping her thighs decisively and starting to stand up. "All right! Come on McMillan lets do this."

They all watched the pair climb in the cabinet before Gregory, the great betrayer turned to Neville. "You know Tracey is fit and obviously likes you. You are still single, right? You aren't back with Hannah again?"

"We are absolutely not. back. together. Better dead than that. No offence Neville." Hannah was quick to add.

"Uhh… None taken? I mean I am not sure how not to take it as an offence Han, you just stated you rather be dead than with me." Neville answered with a small frown but still good naturedly. Was he regretting not being able to be with Hannah?

"It is not like that Nev. You are a catch seriously. Just that you and I have tried over and over and it was never going to work out. Plus I have found someone lovely."

At that moment he made eye contact with Pansy and something flickered in his eyes. "Nah its more than okay Han. You know I am happy for you just didn't have to put it so drastically." Was Pansy the reason he hadn't been able to get Hannah? Was he regretting this?

The timed door to the cabinet sprung opened revealing Tracey and Ernie with their arms crossed crossed and trying to stay as far away from the other. Okay then maybe not Ernie for Tracey, but not Neville, either.

"Okay Longbottom, your turn to spin. Will it be heaven or hell?" Theodore asked with a twinkle in his eyes that worried Pansy thoroughly.

Neville grabbed the bottle and Pansy marvelled at just how big his hand was, it managed to cover the whole bottle of elven champagne that they were using. With a flick of the wrist he made it spin and Pansy wished her heart did not constrict with something very similar to hope.

Maybe she should get up remove herself from this silly game and stupid expectations. As soon as she had decided that she would in fact leave the bottle stuttered to a stop in front of her. Damn.

She looked up from the bottle to the earnest hazel eyes looking at her to the extended arm and offered hand in front of her. "What do you say Pansy?" his melodious tone said.

"Yeah." She coughed. "Sure," and took the offered hand clambering into the cabinet trying to make room for him, as he climbed in after her.

Once inside and Theodore had closed the door Neville immediately took out his wand and started to casting some spells.

"What's that for?" Pansy asked

"Sound proofing I don't trust Nott."

"Fair enough."

They fell quiet for a bit, Pansy hyper aware of just how big he really was compared to her. She hadn't been this close to him probably ever. She idly wonder if they should just kiss get it out of the way. In the same thought she didn't think he deserved a kiss after spending all night with someone else.

“We don’t have to kiss or do anything, you know.” Neville broke the silence after giving her an appraising look.

“Why is it because you would have preferred Tracey here?”

Neville going, “Who?”

“Tracey! You know the slag who has been clinging to you all night?”

“I don't think she is a slag Pans. That seems rather mean, even for you. She was just asking me some questions about how to fix a flutter by bush in her property."

"Sure she was." Pansy said rolling her eyes. Was this man truly this clueless?

"Are… Are you jealous?" Neville asked narrowing his eyes at her like she was a puzzle to be solved.

"Absolutely not! Why would I be? You aren't mine. This… this is all fake." Pansy was spluttering and she did not like it. Why did this cabinet need to be so cramped and warm. She wanted out.

"Oh yes, totally, believable, Pans." He said smirking and shifting his hands so they were splayed on either side of her head; caging her. Yet she it wasn't fear that shut up her spine but excitement. "Aren't you wondering why I couldn't even be bothered to learn her name?"

"Because you are a man? Because you are still hung up on your ex who just declared being with you was worse than death?" she said holding his stare.

Neville laughed a small deep chuckle. "No Pans," he whispered in her ear making her shiver. "I could care less what my ex says or if there are other woman attracted to me because—"

Pansy turned her head and she kissed him. Anything to shut him up. A vicious rapid capture of those lips that were whispering nonsense in her ear. Something to shock something in him. Make him step away. Make him realize this was not what he wanted.

Except he responded by cupping her face and bringing her closer to him. He slowed the kiss and she wanted to fight it, this wasn't it. Except that she felt so safe and held. She could feel herself melt in his arm. This cramped manufactured kiss had to be one of the best in her life.

Just as she had that thought the door to the cabinet opened and she reacted instinctively by jumping apart. Immediately walking out and not looking back.

Chapter Text

Pansy had tossed and turned that night. It required more creams, balms and potions to look put together enough to the Snake Brunch. Why Theodore kept on doing this to them; planing these dumb parties right before Sunday brunch was beyond her but she made it is anyway donning a pretty light blue cotton summer dress and a linen cloak.

"Oh thank Salazar you are here!" Drake shouted in greeting, "Parks, tell these buffoons that you will be my date to the Gala."

"I will do no such thing Drake." She spoke haughtily as she leaned over to kiss Astoria's and Daphne's cheeks before sitting next to Blaise.

"Don't call me that. You know I hate it."

"Obviously its why I call you that, darling." She smirked nodding gratefully to Blaise who filled her glass of mimosa, hold the orange juice.

"Parks, come on you are the only one of this lot who is going dutch, come with me save yourself the embarrassment." Draco said attempting an air of nonchalance.

"Go with Blaise. You two are the only single guys in the group, you can go on the prowl." Daphne interjected saving Pansy while she ordered her salmon benny.

"Nope I have a date." Blaise announced with more than a sly smile.

"Oh? This is news." Millie said as she added cream to her scone. "Well who is she? Do we know her?"

"You do know her. It is sort of new. It started as a business connection and we are very happy. I will take absolutely no constructive criticism and I will also not be speaking anymore on the subject." Blaise said taking a sip of his espresso.

"SEE! Parks! You must go for me. It would be absolutely awful to show up with no date. What would your mum say?" Draco once again exclaimed.

"Drake why are you the biggest drama queen among us. Just ask Ginevra. We all know it's who you want to go with and who you will be leaving with anyway." Pansy said rolling her eyes.

"Red has a date." He practically whispered.

"So you think bringing your ex-girlfriend from a decade ago will help you? That's truly pathetic." Astoria interjected.

Draco narrowed his eyes. "Well my ex-betrothed is currently with one of my best mates so I can't reasonably ask her, can I?"

"Even if I wasn't with Greg, you'd still have to Imperio me to go back on your arm." Astoria said pecking Gregory's cheek.

"Beyond the fact that I am also of the same opinion as Astoria and I too would rather show up with Gregory than with you, are you finally admitting that you want to go with Ginevra and you missed your chance?"

"I still cant believe you three. I should have stopped being friends with you all of you after that. At least you Greg. I feel like here was a pattern there…" Drake huffed as munched on some bacon.

Gregory's eye grew cold as they did every time Draco dared to try to make himself the victim in their weird incestuous relationship. "Was the pattern that you kept taking your girlfriends for granted and making me take care of them."

"Whatever." Drake waved Gregory's comment away like always. "Come on Parks do you really want to show up there dateless? It is in two weeks! Even you can't conjure a guy in that time."

"I see we are skipping past the part where you have remorse and where you admitted to wanting to go with Ginevra and fumbling the bludger." Pansy spat out.

"It is a quaffle you fumble not a bludger. You really don't know anything about quidditch Parks."

"I know enough to know you don't know how to add."

"It was your fault I lost. You know you are banned from my games with good reason."

"Oh? And what is the reason? Remind me?" Since the quidditch game she had been smarting to to have this argument.

Drake rolled his eyes in such an exaggerated manner it was a wonder they didn't fall off while the rest of them muttered variations of 'not this fight, again'. "Because you are my unlucky charm. I never win when you are around."

"I know, I know," Pansy said trying to mollify her other friends, "Just bare with me for a few minutes." A few grumbles continued but no one stopped her. "You say that but I was there in the games against Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, that you won in third year. You only banned me that year out of spite for you fantastic loss against Potter and the rest of the lions."

"That– no– we play gryffindor first." Drake spluttered.

"Except that year you postponed the game due to your arm." Blaise said looking at Pansy with a thoughtful nod.

Drake took a deep breath and after letting it out he started. "Fine, Parks let me apologize to you by taking you to the Gala. It is too late to get a date."

"Maybe I will get a girl"

"Oh darling while we would love you on our team, I am afraid that Circe forgot your gay awakening." Millie said and Daphne who was holding her hand affectionately nodded vigorously.

"See Parks? We are it. We are all we have. Stop being annoying and just agree to go with me." Drake jumped on the attack.

Pansy rubbed her temples. "I can't. Drake, I can't."

"Why not! It is perfect! It would give your mum a heart attack and my mum would be pleased as punch. She loves you. Wait you aren't telling me you aren't coming?"

"Oh no! I will be there." Pansy gestured to Blaise to re fill her glass. "And obviously Cissa loves me I am fabulous."

"Okay so whats the problem?"

"Not a problem… well not for me." She said licking her lips, considering how much she wanted to tell her friends. It was all fake anyway but it wouldn't do for them to know they were a tight group but prone to gossip. And after last night… the kiss. Well… "I already have a date. Have had one for months actually."

"Oh is it Pucey. Are your parents still insisting on that?" Drake said with a much more sombre demeanour.

"Nope. Just this guy."

"Wait is it the flower guy?" Daphne asked.

Pansy nodded and…

Pandemonium.

You'd think she had said she was becoming the new dark lord. Everyone spoke at the same time. Daphne and Astoria squealed. Several people asked who. Theodore and Millicent said something like 'I knew it.'

"Okay everyone call down. Shouldn't be this monumental."

"Pansy Parkinson dating someone for months while keeping it quiet is monumental specially when her cheeks blush like that. You are smitten." Astoria said happily.

She was not blushing.

"What about Longbottom?" Theodore asked at the same exact moment she had taken a sip of her champagne making her choke and splutter.

"What about him?" Pansy managed to reply after gaining some composure.

Theodore the rat looked at her carefully. "I saw you at the ministry, you guys looked good. I think he has always had a crush on you and yesterday… well that looked like a hell of a kiss."

"Maybe it was a good kiss for a first kiss." She said trying to throw them off the scent. Somehow she did not like how much Theodore had seen in one and half interaction.

"Well if that was a first kiss I have to wonder what a second one would look like because that was a hell of a kiss," Daphne said before adding, "And I am not even into guys."

And that had been the thought that had had her rolling in her bed until the early hours of dawn last night.

Chapter Text

This was ill advised. Pansy knew it. She had been planning on cancelling all week but in the end this was needed.

Yes needed. They needed to talk about the next step. The Gala was next week and Neville had made a good point that having this discussion in a public space was ill advised.

So here she was sitting in his cluttered but cosy living room sipping a glass of Merlot that matched her lip colour to perfection while he put the finishing touches on the dinner he was making for her. Feeling a new wave of awkwardness that had not been been there ever roll over her.

He hadn't shown any change. As if that kiss, that moment had changed nothing for him. He had greeted her at the floo, flowers in hand, this time a hand full of blush roses, Cornflowers, Sweet William and Honeysuckle; and had taken her linen cloak to hung up. He had given her a small tour of his plants and which to keep some good space to and then offered her wine before telling her to get comfortable while he finished in the kitchen.

His leather sofa was stupid comfortable. Sink in it with a good book and that lovely quilt thrown over the back of it kind of sofa. Yet she sat literally on the edge, back ram rod straight and waited.

"You know I will not tell Pricilla if you loosen your posture a little." He said bringing out two bowls that smelled deliciously and placed them on the small round wooden table. He pulled out a chair and looked at her significantly. Pansy rolled her eyes, but nonetheless stood up and sat in the offered seat allowing him to help her get settled and refill her wine.

"I think if she knew you addressed her by her first name she'd be more alarmed than if she ever found out that I let my posture go once in a while." She retorted as stared mouth wide at the dinner laid out before her. "Did you really make all of this or did you have Gorm make it for you."

"Ouch. I am rather insulted that you'd think I would take the credit if I made Gorm do all the work. This is all me. His recipe though." Neville said with a lopsided smile clearly pleased with the praise. "Going back to the subject of things I shouldn't do when I pay your parents a visit next week."

"You are not." Pansy said much more vehemently than she had meant to.

"Pansy, you asked me to court you. And while I am not the greatest example of a Pureblood heir. I do know how this works." He said much more seriously than she thought the subject required.

Pansy put her face in her palms and started rubbing her temples and Neville just let her, gave her the time and space to mull over her options and what she wanted. "I… I know. I know you properly need to go to ask my dad for permission to court me. I just don't want to give him a way to slither out of this." She said finally.

Neville nodded thoughtfully as he took some bites of his risotto. She followed suit almost letting a moan slip out as the decadent soft flavours of the mushroom and scallop risotto melted in her mouth.

"I guess that means the food has passed muster?" He grinned up at her.

Guess she hadn't done that great of a job at keeping quiet. "It is bloody delicious."

"I am glad you liked it."

They continued eating letting the quiet stretch not uncomfortably but weighed down. She was asking a lot. She knew it. She also knew he would do it, whatever it may be if she asked. She was not an idiot. Theodore may have said it out loud but she knew it. Neville had always had a crush on her and whether or not those feeling were still there romantically speaking Pansy knew, and had been counting, on the fact that Neville had a soft spot for her.

"I wont go to your dad this week. I will apologize at the Gala and I will throw you under the hippogryff. Percival, I am sure, knows his daughter as well as I do. He also knows me well enough to know that I will do as you tell me no matter what specially where it concerns an archaic tradition in which I don't believe." Neville finally said, and Pansy felt called out in the worst way. Was it that transparent? "This is the last modification to the courtship I'll allow Pans. I have been incompetent all my life in the eyes of that set of people and I don't fancy continuing that trend when I am trying to court their priced jewel."

"I thought you said you would do as I told you?" Pansy asks in jest wanting to lighten the mood. It had gotten too serious too quickly.

Neville didn't laugh though he released a long breath, "You know I would. So this is me asking you to please allow me to keep a semblance of honour throughout this courtship."

"I didn't– I wouldn't–" She took a deep breath and exhaled. "That's not my objective. and you are not and have never been incompetent."

"Okay." Neville said finally closing whatever this conversation had been. "Let me clear the table and put the dishes to wash and we can continue making plans for this." He continued with a small but genuine smile on his face.

"Sure but don't you want some help?"

"Pansy Pernella Parkinson offering domestic help? If I hadn't been here to see it and hear it with my own eyes and ears I would not believe it." He teased.

She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "No need for exaggeration. If you want to hide the fact that Gorm is in the kitchen really doing all the work just say so."

"If you want to keep me company in here you are more than welcome. You don't have to bring Gorm into this, just cause you like him more than me."

Pansy laughed and walked behind him jumping on the counter as he turned to do the dishes. Which was good because it let her gawk at him without him noticing. He had always been big. When they were little he was called chubby, as they grew the chubby became unflattering and in turn called fat. Who and when that was decided she hadn't known but she had grasped innately that once Neville was called fat she was no longer allowed to find him cute. Even if his face always reminded her of sunshine. Now as an adult he was not just big he was huge. While not as wide as Greg he was the tallest of them all. The fat that he had carried in his early teens had, for the most part, turned into muscle. She knew that if his shirts were tailored a little better she would have more competition than Tracey Davies.

"What colour is your dress for the gala?" he asked as he turned leaning against the opposite counter. In the small kitchen her heels almost graced his legs as he treat he'd and crossed his legs at the angle.

"My dress?" Pansy asked her eyes going wide and eyebrows raising in surprise and suspicion.

"Yes? Unless you were planning on going naked, in which case I feel my not talking to your dad will be the least of my worries." He answered genially.

"Obviously I will be wearing a dress. I just don't understand why you'd need to know."

Neville shook his head in disbelief still smiling, like the idiot was him not her. "Must you always be so difficult?" He said straightening out and offering her his hands to come down from her perch.

And Pansy who was mildly insulted that he thought she always took the difficult route refused his hands and hopped down because she would be damn if she needed help. The problem with this was that the jump brought her alarmingly close to Neville and in an effort to avoid touching him she ended up stumbling right on to him. Two strong large hands held her up right by her hips. As soon as she felt the warmth from her palms engulf her Pansy took one jump back hitting her waist against the counter.

"Okay Pans, lets get you back to the living room with some dessert before you get bruised in my kitchen and I get get charged with domestic battery." Neville spoke with a chuckle warming his voice as he gently steered her towards the comfortable looking couch. Pansy didn't even need to look up to know he as grinning but she did anyway.

Once settled with a new glass of wine and some truly decadent chocolate truffles from Cobra de Peluche, Neville started again. "Fine, keep your mysteries. Godric know that you will look absolutely stunning in whatever you decided to wear. All I ask is that you owl Twilfit & Tattings before my fitting on Thursday to let them know what you want me to wear."

Pansy narrowed her eyes, what was he playing at? "You want me to choose what you wear to the gala?" No man liked to be dressed like a doll. Her dad still got his feathers ruffled when her mum reminded him that her chosen outfit was ready for him.

"Don't you want to chose?" He asked genuinely.

Dear Salazar more than anything in the world. The man was built so good. Give him good tailoring and style and he would be divine. "Well yes." She started to answer truthfully and then she started to back track, "I mean sure maybe if this was real. It is too much effort to ask of you."

"Becuase it is all fake?" Neville asked, the damn grin in his face, completing her train of thought. "What did I say about making me look incompetent?"

"But you wouldn't!" She answered quickly, with a pout, "The Twilfit & Tattings would outfit you properly. We would look good."

Neville let out a long deep breath and stretched out on his side of the couch, one of his long arm one the back rest, legs spread wide in front of him. "Pans," He finally said letting the nickname no one ever called her anymore roll of his tongue like a sweet he savoured.

"Lets play pretend." He continued slowly. "Let's pretend we live in a world where Pansy Pernella Parkinson doesn't have to be courted, she wants to be courted. Not because it saves her from a betrothal she doesnt want; But because she is excited about this man… or woman." He added giving her an appraising look, Pansy just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Right, So she actually likes this man and is looking forward to flaunt her new relationship to the wizarding world. Would she let any Twilfit & Tattings staff chose his outfit? Or would she chose everything with exacting detail down to the minutia of what thread to use?"

Pansy rolled her eyes and took a gulp of her drink because he wasn't wrong but she'd be dead before admitting it.

"Come on Pans."

"Fine. I am planing on wearing burgundy and I will owl Twilfit & Tattings with my specifications."

"Good I will let them know to expect the it." He nodded as if pleased with the out come. "Now lets talk about how to make you comfortable with my physical touch."

Chapter Text

Pansy heard the floo woosh to life and took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She ran her hands down her deep scarlet velvet robes. They had a high neck and long sweeping sleeves. The perfect demure robes even if she looked like she had been poured into it, every single curve she had perfectly delineated and highlighted.

"Pans?" his voice rang from her living room, sounding maybe nervous?

"Coming." She called out, finishing the look with a last swipe on her lips of her dare-to-kiss indelable lip potion.

"Fuck" Neville swore loudly as soon as she entered the room, before closing his eyes and taking a deep calming breath, "Sorry. Just–" and he opened his eyes again to look at her again. "Fuck," he uttered again running his hands through his hair and turning towards the mantle and resting his forehead on it.

Pansy would have laughed if she wasn't transfixed by the cut of him in the green velvet dress robes he was wearing. They were exactly what she had imagined when she came up with the concept of house unity. The robes themselves were perfectly cut and on any man they would look good, but his body in it looked sinful. Everything about it exuded the quiet power that she had so come to associate with him.

Neville turned slowly and Pansy delighted in seeing the waist coat just as she had imagine gleaming with the golden chain of his pocket watch. "You know crucio is a much more efficient manner of torture."

"How exactly am I torturing you?"

"You know you look devastatingly beautiful. Every single man in that ball room is going to be looking at you."

"And you are upset by this?"

"Yes?" He answered uncertainly his eyes still roaming her body not certain as to where to let his eyes land.

"I would have thought having a woman to show off was a one the main goals in men's life."

"Honestly never seen the appeal." Letting his eyes roam her hips one last time he finally cleared his throat and straightened up. "Sorry Pans, let me try this again." he said with a lopsided grin. "Hiya Pans, you look absolutely knock out gorgeous. I am a lucky guy." he said extending a small potted plant.

"You don't clean up badly yourself." Pansy smirked wide taking the small plant with small red flowers that looked sparks. "I am terrible at keeping things alive. I am barely able to keep myself alive and you hand me a plant?"

"This is a fire orquid. If you put it above your mantle and once in a while add some of the ashes from the charcoal it should thrive for you."

"It doesn't need watering? Light?"

"Nope, just the heat of the fire and the natural humidity. I could bore you with how it all works but I feel like you'd rather I just tell you it will be fine."

Pansy looked back at him and then at the flower in her hand raising and eyebrow at him in doubt but still strode to the mantle, only to hear a soft hiss followed by a murmured "Fuuuuck. Will you warn a lad next time?"

"What, do you not like the back of my dress?" Pansy asked innocently turning to give him a full view of the low cut back less part of her dress.

"I adore it. I might not survive it but it will have been worth it." Neville said still breathing hard as she turned back to face him. "Now would you like to stop torturing me and get your second present?"

"Second present?" She asked confused.

"Yep." He said picking up a large jewellery box from the table that she had not seen yet. "For you."

Pansy took the box in her hands and opened to see a a beautiful ruby jewellery set. Delicate, classic, tasteful. She let her finger tips trail the the delicate almost floral design of all the pieces. "Their beautiful, Neville. I can't accept them."

"You don't have to wear it all tonight but it would mean a lot if you didn't argue with me on this one Pans. Courting jewellery is a must and I picked these for you specially." He continued calmly.

He was right she had just never expected him to do it. Giving someone else family jewels, specially a set like this; with a tiara she expected would turn into a necklace, a broach, drop earing and delicate bracelet, it meant something. Pansy chewed on her lower lip mulling it over, before taking a deep breath and offering him the broach. "Will you help me?"

He was quick with the sticking charm and then helped her with the bracelet waiting while she switched her pearl earings for the ruby ones and then after only one moment of doubt and hessitation she took the tiara and placed on her head. It was a delicate thing.

"You didnt have to wear them all." He started to say but Pansy cut him off quickly. "If we are going to make a statment might as well make a full one. Plus, I don't want to hear your Gran making any comment on how I am too good to wear Longbottom jewels."

They had not been inside for longer than ten minutes when, they heard "Neville Frank Alastor Longbottom." behind them. Pansy immidiately felt Neville tense next to her and felt more than heard the muttered 'fuck' he let out in frustration.

"Pans, run. Get out while you can." He said gently removing her hand from his arm before turning towards the voice, a smile on his face not reaching his eyes. "Gran, lovely to see you."

Pansy had beed preparing to stand her ground but one look at the formidable Augusta Longbottom and she decided that discretion was the better part of valor and moved towards the bar that was close by.

"Do not Gran me young man. What was that about?" Augusta asked while signaling with her cane towards Pansy.

"You mean 'who' Gran. Her name is Pansy, Pansy Parkinson. A fact I am sure you know as your memory is impecable and and you still play bridge with her great aunt once a week." He meant drink and gossip, Pansy was sure.

"DO not sass me. You may be grown but I will still box your ears if you continue in this manner." Augusta took a steading breath. "Why is she wearing your mother's courting jewels?"

Neville let out a slow breath and didn't speak for a bit. "Not sure how to answer that without you thinking I am sassing you Gran."

Augusta rolled her eyes in such a way that made Pansy rather jealous. "Try."

"Pansy is wearing mum's courting jewellery because I am courting her." He said in a sigh.

"You do not court." She stated resolutely.

"Clearly I do, Gran." He replied without hesitation.

"What did I say about sass?"

"Gran, I have been dating Pansy for a while now. While the concept of the traditional courting ritual does not fill me with joy it makes her happy." Neville said finally like that was all that mattered.

Pansy could see Augusta's eyebrow rising, "And you understand that the objective of courting is betrothal and marriage?"

"Gran I may be out of my depth trying to court the most brilliant woman in society but you did not raise a complete idiot."

"How long will you be doing this for?" Augusta asked.

"As long as it takes for her to agree to marry me or for her to tell me to fuck off." Neville answered with such behemens.

Pansy had heard enough, arriving with three champagne flutes she joined the fray, "Lady Longbottom," She said offering a flute while passing one to Neville and wrapping her hands on his large bicep. "I hope you are doing well my Aunt Phillie says you are a threat … at the card table."

"Mrs. Parkinson, those jewels look lovely on you."

"Don't they? Neville has a great taste." Pansy says going on her toes to try to give him a small kiss on his cheek but only reaching his jaw. Damn he was tall.

"Yes well that remains to be seen." Augusta says through narrowed eyes before turning her full attention to her grandson. "Bring her to tea next sunday. If you are serious about this it is time this girl met your parents."

"As you wish." Neville answered in a resigned tone to Augusta's back, "Well thats one down," he said this time talking to Pansy and she is not sure if he is talking about the conversation or the drink he is currently gulping down.

"Should I be worried by how smoothly you just lied?"

"Huh?" Neville answered distantly and so Pansy continued. "If I didn't know this was all fake I would have believed every word."

"Parks! There you are!"

"Is it true?"

"Parks! Those rubies look lovely on you."

Chapter Text

Pansy hadn't noticed when it happened but found herself sorrounded by all her friends. She could feel Neville tense further. She step forwards air kissing cheeks. "Darlings," she drawled as she stepped back her back hiting Nevilles front. His arm came up to her waist instinctively, tucking her into him as he held out his other hand to shake hands. "You all remember Neville."

"Is this flower man?" Daphne asked pulling the first true smile from him since meeting his gran.

"Unless Pansy has anyother man sending her flowers, I believe that it is me." He spoke jovially.

"Oh, They are so beautiful, and the messages! So romantic." Astoria positively squealled.

"I am glad someone thought so." He answered, his lopsided grin back on his face in full. Except there had never been cards or messages, so she was not sure what Astoria and Neville where on about.

"And now you are courting?" Theodore asked an eyebrow raised.

"Like I was going to do anything as plebean as be someones girlfriend." Pansy replied.

Gregory lifeted an eyebrow. "You were my girlfriend."

"And how did that turn out for me Gregory?" She felt Neville running his hand up and down her spine maybe as a calming gesture except it was doing the oposite. "Talking of buffoons I used to be girlfriend to; where is Drake?"

She couldn't be sure but something about the mention of Drake made Neville who was almost back to relax shift again. His hand skated down her spin to her waist his long fingers sneaking under the fabric of her dress in a a manner that was so relaxed and intimate at the sametime. He squeased her lighitly there causing her to do a sharp inhale and look up at him. "Dance with me?" he said, warm hazel eyes meeting hers.

Sure it was worded as a question, a request but Pansy knew better. She nodded and let him guide her towards the dance floor appologizing to her friends.

He never let go of her waist and held her tightly to him as they got situated and started to move along the music. She felt secure, safe.

Pansy hadn't noticed the fact that neighter had spoken in a while until he broke to the silence two songs in. "I am sorry."

"For what?" She asked confusedly looking up to him to see him looking elsewhere.

"I shouldn't have done that. Take you from your friends like that."

"Oh, honestly I don't care. They are a very nosey and meddlesome bunch. You kind of did me a favour."

He hummed quietly to himself. "Meeting Gran first was more than I expected, and then your friends. I was feeling overwhelmed. I don't do crowds well. I should have told you before."

"I get it." She said squeezing his hand once. "So… Alistor?"

That had him laughing. He twrilled her ellegantly away from him and when she was back in his arms he said, "Pernella?"

"Hey! That was common knowlege, but Allistor?"

"Yes well, from what I know it was a joke in the bull pen at the time. Everyone telling my parents they should calle me after Moody. Started by Moody himself, if the stories are to be believed." His smile turned sad. "Anyway… explains why I trusted him in fourth year. Even if I did think it was suspecious that he did not know what I was talking about when I mentioned I was named after him. Oh well."

Pansy had never really considered how that must have affected Neville to be taught by that man. She was about to comment on it tell him he was fourteen and not responsible to knowing when he spoke again. "You don't have to go. I will figure out a way to get you off the hook."

"Off the hook for what?" Pansy asked confused.

"Next sunday. Tea with my parents. You don't have to."

"Neville," She looked up but he kept avoided looking back at her. "Neville please look at me. "

The way he closed his eyes as if this was something he would end up regreting had her heart constricting. He did look at her though. "I want to go. I am not going to backdown from a challenge and while this might be fake I will not allow your Gran think less of me and worse yet think less of you for choosing me."

He bit his bottom lip thoughtfully, chewing it nervously and Pansy did not know what came over her but she took her thumb and pulled at his lip. The music stopped, her hand still cupping his face thumb on his lip, suddenly all she wanted was for him to kiss her which was ridiculous.

and yet…

and yet…

She felt her self rising to her toes as he held her closer to him his face dipping slowly towards her.

"Pansy. Lord Longbottom. A word."

Now it was her turn to mutter Fuck. As she turned slowly to see her dad and mom at the edge of the dance floor.

Neville straightened immidiately and guided her with a hand on the small of her back towards the edge of teh dance floor. "Lady Parkinson, Lord Parkinson." He preformed a small bow towards each. "I am happy to see you."

"I cannot say the same about seeing you sir. I thought you were a man of honour." Her dad spoke imperiously.

"Daddy!—" Pansy started.

"Pansy quiet you clearly don't have any shame." Her mom started.

"It is okay Pans." Neville said a calm smile on his face. "I trully want to apollogize Lord Parkinson. I have already had a telling off by my gran about how I have mucked it all up." He continued in a self affacing manner. "Is there anyway I could call on you next week and make this right? Pansy means the world to me and I know how she feels about you both."

Wasn't he going to through her under the hypogryff? Why wasn't he telling them she had asked? Pansy was about to interrupt and set things right but Neville's hand, once again on her waist, squeezed a bit.

"These jewels she is wearing… you gave them to her?" Her dad asked him, rather rudely she considered but Neville just looked at her then smiling widely.

"They were the set my dad gave my mum. I thought they might be as lucky for us as they were for my parents." The way Neville spoke like he had thought all of it through. Like it actually meant something to him. It couldn't. It didn't. It was all fake.

Her mom scoffed. "They weren't very lucky."

"Pricilla!" Her dad admonitied immidiately.

Neville though just shrugged. "Lady Parkinson has a point, they had a hard life but through it all their love for each other has been there. If I get with Pansy a love like theirs, a love which sustained so much and still remained I will consider my self the luckiest of individuals."

Pansy looked at him then trying to tally any tell but there was none. When had this man become such a good liar. Was this the auror training? Withstanding questioning and torture in the form of social engagements?

"Very true, very true." Her dad said nodding as he went. "Well Lord Longbottom, why don't you come by the manor this week for dinner and we will go through the details and your intentions."

"Of course sir." He said extending his hand to shake. "Would you like to owl me the best time?"

"I'll have Pricilla work out the details with Pansy."

"Very well sir, ma'am. I think I should get Pansy a drink." Neville said after shaking her dad's hand and kissing the top of her mum's.

"Thank you daddy." She said as she hugged her dad feeling relieved that somehow this impass was not as bad as previously thought.

"Mum," She said as she kissed her cheek goodbye, but as she tried to move back, her mom used her nails on her arm and whispered in her ear "This is not the end of this."

Neville steared her slowly towards a bar, never letting his hand drop from her side. She wasn't quite sure if it was for his benefit or hers. Either way she was grateful for the contact as they reached the bar and he leaned over ordering their drinks. He extended a fog martini at her as he had a firewhiskey in hand. "To surviving our elders." He raised his glass at her with a rye smile.

Once they had cheered and taken their first sip it was seemingly the turn of the lions to accost them. Beginning with Granger, "NEV!!!! There you are!"

"Hiya Hermione. Alright Ron?" he said nodding as the couple joined them.

"So it is true you are dating Parkinson."

"Courting." Neville responded quickly smiling wide.

"Hi Nev. Oh Parkinson there you are." Ginevra is the next to approach the group.

"Ginevra." Pansy said with an eyebrow raised.

"Where is the Ferret? Didn't you come with him?" Ginevra asked distractedly as she looked around.

"She is with me Gin." Neville answered tersely, pulling Pansy closer to him.

"Courting Parks, huh? Longbottom. Brave man." Flint put in as he snaked his arm around Ginevra's body in such a lewed way Pansy had to stop herself from saying yuck outloud but she most definitely thought it.

"Yes, Flint he is the Snake Slayer for a reason." She spat out. "Ginevra look for Drake in the corners I am sure he is sulking." Before pulling Neville away interlacing her hand in his.

Chapter Text

Neville was not sure how it had happened. One moment he had been in the Auror Bull pen talking to Nott and the next he found himself tied to a chair facing a grand mahogany wood desk, tall windows on his left side, walls full of portraits all around him and in front of him and leaning against the desk his arms crossed, Percival Parkinson looking something like amused.

"Sir" Neville said at the other man, nodding his head in deference unable to do much else.

"Lord Longbottom, pleasure to have you at our home. Seeing as you were a fool to listen to my daughter, instead of doing the right thing and asking for an audience with me we had to do this the difficult way," Percival continued calmly.

"If you think Neville Longbottom will ever not be a fool for my sister, you clearly do not know him well." Peter Parkinson spoke from his frame right behind the desk on Percival's right shoulder.

"Peter, lovely to get to chat with you too." Neville answered evenly. "I have a few bones to pick with you."

"You with me? May I remind you that it is you at the mercy of my father." The young man in the portrait answered with such a similar snare to Pansy's it made Neville smile.

"You made her cry. I was the one to hold her while she cried when she received the letter telling her you had died. So yeah, I have some words." Neville could still see her that night at the greenhouse curled on her side on the floor in 8th year.

"Enough." Percival Parkinson cut in before Peter could retort. "Lord Longbottom, you are here for us all to judge your suitability to court our darling Pansy. We expect you to answer truthfully, specially considering that we gave you a dose or two of Veritaserum."

Neville just nodded.

"Have you the means to support a household?" A gentleman in Victorian robes asked from the left of the desk asked.

"Yes, I have the Longbottom vaults as well as my salary." He answered not even fighting the serums effect.

"Salary you say? What is your profession, and what are your prospects for advancement?" Another portrait asked this time at Neville's left.

"I am a currently transitioning from full-time auror to Herbologist consultant to the Auror force as well as all large apothecaries in Europe and some in North America. I am the preeminent expert in British Fauna and Flora, and will be undertaking my third mastery under Pomona Sprout with the aim of taking over her duties as Master of Herbology in Hogwarts school," he said rather robotically, words being pulled out of him that he would normally not speak so starkly.

"Do you intend to keep her in the lifestyle she's accustomed to?" Percival asked arms still folded. "My girl has expensive taste."

"Whatever Pansy wants, Pansy gets." Neville responded easily.

An older man wearing what looked like a Medieval knight armour clamoured from a dark corner. "What about the way the Longbottoms stole our river! HAVE YOU RESOLVED THAT, YOUNG MAN!!!"

Neville looked so confused. "Uhhh, I am sorry, sir, but the Longbottom holdings do not border any river."

"How many grandchildren, and when can I expect them?" Another gentlemen dressed in clothing that Neville was really unable to identify but he wouldn't be surprised if it was before the reformation.

"As many and as soon as Pansy says. She is the one carrying them."

"Do you believe in the permanence of marriage?" Someone else shouted. Only to be interrupted by someone screaming, "Wait were the Longbottoms the ones that had that scandal? The ones that got a divorce right after Henry?"

"As far as I know, no one in the Longbottom family has ever divorced. We believe in love matches."

"Do the Longbottoms still observe some of the bundling traditions? I think this needs to happen before we can asses wether the he can court the girl."

"Bundling?" Neville asked confused.

"Yes we wrap you and my sister in heavy sheets. One for each don't start getting ideas. We wouldn't want to ruin my darling sister's impeccable virtue." Peter answered a smirk in his face as Neville's blush started to rise up his neck. "Father, if you agree to that tradition make sure there is a heavy board between the two."

"There will be no bundling," Percival declared rolling his eyes in a move very reminiscent of his daughter.

"From which stock have the Longbottom ancestors picked their wives from? We need to know what other women the men have bred," a stern slim fellow spoke from another corner.

Bred? Where these people serious? Yet answer Neville did, he had too, the serum pulling the answers from him. "My mother was a Fortesque, and my Gran's Maiden name is Selwyn."

"Has there been any Longbottoms to marry Parkinson women before?"

"I honestly haven't checked. I assume at some point?"

"What's is your wealth status?"

"I… I thought I had already answered that," Neville answered uncertainly looking at Percival but received nothing so he continued. "The Longbottom vaults are deep enough."

"Very well. What are your plans to use Pansy's dowry?"

"It is hers to use as she see fit. I am not taking a single penny."

"What families do you, personally associate with?"

"Umm, my best friends are Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood," he said clearing his throat. "Gregory Goyle is my partner in the Aurors."

"Is your family in good social standing?"

"I believe so?" Neville was starting to feel overwhelmed and confused with amount and varied questions.

"Aren't your parents the ones the Lestranges tortured?" A man he recognised as Pansy's uncle asked from next to Peter's portrait.

"Yes sir," Neville straightened getting ready for what he knew would be unpleasant, it would be worth it. She was worth it.

"Weak parents bear weak children," an older gentleman murmured from somewhere, "Will you have the stomach to do what it takes to protect your family young man?"

Neville's face hardened. "Sir, I am a trained Auror. Even before that I commanded in Hogwarts and pulled the sword of Gryffindor to behead Voldemort's snake Nagini. I can and will with out a single second of doubt do whatever needs to be done to protect Pansy."

There was a tense silence that followed that statement. Neville had wanted to make a point but the Veritaserum had made it harsher, grander than he would have answered without it.

"Show us your penis, I want to confirm you can sire an heir." A gentleman wearing an impressive cod piece asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Surely you don't actually expect me to do that?" Neville managed to choke out not quite over the whiplash.

"AHA!!!" The older man in the medieval armour exclaimed. "I remember now it wasn't about the river. It was grazing right! What do you have to say for yourself now?"

Neville wanted to rub his temples but unfortunately his hands were still tied, literally. "I will look into the grazing disputes and get it handled."

"Good."

"So you were at the Battle of Hogwarts?" another man in more recognizable fashions starts speaking.

"Yes. I was in all the notable battles of the second Voldemort war. Ministry of Mystery battle in my fifth year. Astronomy Tower in my sixth year."

"Where you cursed my sister with antlers." Peter very helpfully added.

Neville smiled he had liked how she looked with them. gave her a nimph like quality. "That was not me."

"Nigel Longbottom owes me twelve oxen, what do you have to say about that you cur?" Someone bellows from the back.

"That he is dead and so are you?" Neville answered hearing how tired and apathetic he was starting to sound.

"Where will you live when you get married?" a reasonable voice asked.

Neville started to try to answer when the knight armour gentleman once again clamoured from his perch. "But when will we have a resolution on the grazing rights."

"Shut it, Bertrand. We need to know the important stuff. Like, what does this gentleman know about the female orgasm? Has he even laid with one? Will he be able to please her? A pleased woman is a docile woman."

"See this is why I think he should show us his penis. It is imperative that we know what he is working with."

Before Neville could protest that this seemed excessive, another voice rose about the din. "Do the Longbottoms still have an alliance with the Macmillans? We won't hold with the Macmillans!" a choir of "FUCK THE MACMILLANS"

"Uhh, Ernie Macmillan is a friend of mine but I don't know if I would call it an alliance." Neville answered uncertain to what they would consider an alliance to be.

"Lionel Longbottom cheated me out of a dowry in 1763 and I insist you return five of the sheep promised from Pansy's dowry as is customary."

Neville shook his head tiredly, "Sure." What was he supposed to do with sheep? What was this dowry they kept on talking about?

"Enough," Percival Parkinson spoke out before anyone else could interject again. "While you are very Gryffindor brave and we have all heard of your exploits this wouldn't be a proper trial if you didn't have to prove yourself." Saying this Percival took out his wand and pointed at a suit of armour that looked remarkably familiar. Uttering a couple of words the suit straightened up and starting walking ominously towards Neville.

Another swish of Percival's wand and the restraints that kept Neville tied to the chair dissipated. Neville didn't even hesitate before standing up and kicking the chair back to give himself space, plunging his hands in his pocket looking for his wand only to find something what felt like a pummel. His hand wrapped around it and pulled out a familiar sword.

The sword of Gryffindor glinted in the setting sun rays coming in from the bay of windows. The suit of armour lunged for him and Neville swung the sword, maybe not gracefully but certainly with all his power behind him. The knight blocked with his heavy shield and responded with a jab of his sword that Neville wasn't quite quick enough to jump a way. The sword graced his side causing Neville to hiss and falter a little on his step as the knight swung his sword once again. This time, Neville was able to deflect with the sword getting a better hang of the thing.

He waited for the knight to once again attack and with all his might swung the sword down on him using his height to his advantage. Finally, hitting the knight on his back sending him tumbling forward. As the knight fell on the ground Neville rapidly thrusted the sword in his back.

“You know some of my family members have been trying to convince me that this whole courtship was all fake, but after that I don’t think I believe them,” Percival Longbottom spoke at last with a significant look at Peter's portrait.

“It is not fake. Not for me anyway.”Neville answered still catching his breath watching Pansy’s dad nod thoughtfully. “Is that why no one asked me if I loved her?”

Peter laughed incredulous. “Nah. The old vultures couldn’t care less about love and you’ve been in love with my sister since the age of five. The only one to be blissfully unaware of that seems to be my sister her self.”

As he said that the doors to the room open wide and Pansy strode in clicking her stilettos and looking pissed.

Chapter Text

“You know some of my family members have been trying to convince me that this whole courtship here is all fake, but after that I don’t think I believe them,” Percival Parkinson spoke.

“It is not fake. Not for me anyway.” Neville answered still catching his breath “Is that why no one asked me if I loved her?”

Petey laughed incredulous. “Nah. The old vultures couldn’t care less about love and you’ve been in love with my sister since the age of five. The only one to be blissfully unaware of that seems to be my sister herself.”

Pansy had heard enough. "What the FUCK is going on here." Opening both doors wide she strode in purposefully. The scene that greeted her would be comical if it wasn't for how angry and horrified she was.

"Language," her father managed to say before being interrupted by Petey's portrait, "Admiring your boyfriend and his sword of Gryffindor."

"Sword of what?" Pansy said, doing a double take at Neville finally noticing the sword in his hand and the red stain on the side of his ripped shirt.

"Did you know Longbottom carried a sword of Gryffindor in his pants?" Petey continued with a glint in his eye, as if nothing was amiss. "And I am not referring to his penis which Priapus was very insistent on seeing, the dirty fuck."

Some muttering from the rest of the portraits started but Pansy was no longer listening. She had reached Neville and unbuttoned his oxford. It was truly unfair that this was the first time seeing his bare chest. Unable to keep the slow grown of "fuck", she tried to pass it off as angry instead of clearly turned on.

"That bad, huh?" Neville's warm voice finally spoke from above her.

She could feel her cheeks reddening. "Something like that, yeah."

"What is going on here?! This is hardly appropriate. Percival! Why haven't you stepped in? That man's shirt is completely open and is not even wearing a shirt vest. Why have you allowed Pansy in here," her mother came in screeching. "Hands off him, young lady!"

Pansy ignored her as she tentatively pressed and touched Neville's injury cataloguing the hisses and sighs. It wasn't deep and wouldn't take long to fix it. It did not explain why he looked so off kilter.

"I did what you asked of me, Priscilla. We have all deemed him worthy of courting our girl, by unanimous decision. She is now taking care of the man after a rather arduous, if quick, duel," her father answered with a roll of his eyes as if he wished this conversation to also be swift.

"What? That cannot be!" Her mother continued her shrill demands.

"Really, mum, I am not sure what you expected. If anyone was going to pass this inane and antiquated trial, it would be a goddamn lion. Especially one who has access to one of the most powerful magical artefacts," Petey deadpanned. "I am once again referring to the actual sword in his hand, dad interrupted when Priapus asked to be shown his penis."

"But— but— That cannot be!" Her mother continued looking stricken. "You have to take it back. You cannot allow this charade to continue."

"Priscilla. You asked for it to be done this way. The moment we started questioning the magic took over. If you wanted an opinion you should have stuck to the dinner. He passed all the questions and survived the duel." Pansy's father was by the door now trying to get his wife to leave the room. "You weren't nearly this fastidious with Pucey and he was angling for a betrothal. Longbottom only wants to court the girl. After his show of steadfastness I am not convinced it was is all fake."

While Pansy's parents argued Neville had been slowly but consistently slumping. Worried the towering man would actually topple over she placed her arm around his middle avoiding the gash by his ribs. "What did you all do to him?" She almost yelled incensed.

"Oh you know two dosages of Veritaserum and a sword duel with Bertrand’s cursed armour. Nothing out of the ordinary,” her brother's portrait answered shrugging his shoulders.

"Come on, Neville, we are leaving," she said confidently.

"It is okay, Pans. It's just a little graze and the after effects of the serum. I have had worse." Neville's words were slurred.

Pansy sneered up at him. "Yes, I was there in 7th year. Do not remind me." She turned towards her parents. "Mother stop sulking it is not a good look for a lady. Father we will be having words. Petey… Just stop meddling."

With that she disapparated them out of there and landing on the front door to his flat. "Come on, Neville, open the door and let us in."

She was practically holding all of his weight and would soon have to resort to a levitation charm. One of his arms was thrown over her shoulders and the other was on the pummel of the sword that he was now using as a cane. "You are keyed in to the wards, Pans," he exhaled.

Pansy tried the knob hesitantly but it opened without resistance.

"I should return sword to Minerva," he said idly looking down to the famous sword holding up his body. "She missing it."

"I am going to skip past the part that you are in first name terms with one of the scariest professors I had at Hogwarts and send you straight to bed. You can go return the famed sword tomorrow." Pansy shook her head in disbelief as she helped him through his apartment towards his room. It smelled like him, cedar and linen. It had warm wooden furniture, a queen sized bed at the centre of it, the bedspread was a quilt made up in warm colours and like the rest of the house it felt warm, cosy and welcoming. "Take off your shirt. I'll be back in a few."

"That eager to have me naked in bed, Pans?" He said stumbling around the room looking less and less like himself the longer it went, he finally made it to the bed and sat down and Pansy felt it was finally safe to leave him to go search for what she needed. A couple accios later, she was back at his bedside working hard to swallow.

Neville Longbottom was, she knew, big. It had been a recurrent joke at the Slytherin table. He'd been chubby and fat all their childhood. In 7th year he had gone tall but lost all the weight due to all the things happening in the castle. Now… now… His shoulders were wide, his biceps were thick, his abdomen may not be perfectly defined like pretty boy Draco, but everything spoke to strength and power. She could feel her abdomen tightened as she continued to stare.

To top it all off, he was hairy. A layer of fur covered his powerful chest trailing down to a line under his belly button that led under his pants. Since when was Neville Longbottom this hairy? She had noticed before how quickly his facial hair grew. Seemingly always having a 5 o'clock shadow. This though— Had she ever been with a man that hairy? No… she had been with boys clearly.

"Are you done staring?" His sleep steeped voice cut through her thoughts of him with a beard.

"Yes, well, I am assessing the damage my family did to you," she huffed out.

"I think it is a Parkinson trait," he continued. "To hurt me."

Pansy let out a heavy sigh. "This Parkinson is trying to heal you." She dropped the potions on the bedside table and knelt in front of him. She did a couple of softened scourgify before uncorking the dittany and letting two drops on the wound watching it sizzle and close. Then she went towards to his head and helped him sit up. "Here, take these."

"What are they?" his voice gruff.

"This one is for the splitting headache that is sure to come." Pansy watched as he downed it, "And this one is a dreamless sleep. You should wake up tomorrow fully rested." 

She could see him thinking about saying no. "Just down in, big man. You can owl me tomorrow with all your complaints." He did just that with a small grin in his face before plopping back on his bed. Pansy stood up gingerly. Disliking all the thoughts and emotions currently coursing through her. 

As she was walking out she heard him murmur. "Only Parkinson to heal me because she will be a Longbottom soon."

"Not staying over at the Snake Slayers?" A familiar voice spoke just as she entered her flat.

"Petey," Pansy acknowledged her brothers portrait in an exhausted tone. "What are you doing here? Are you not tired of spending your time spying for mother?"

"Mum is bed ridden with the vapours locked in her quarters," Petey said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "The events of the evening seemed to have been too much for her to manage. All the portraits want to talk about is your boyfriend. I came here for some peace and quiet. I thought, wrongly, that you would be staying to nurse your guy."

Pansy continued to ignore the tinge she felt when she heard Neville referred to as hers, he wasn't. The same feeling she had when she first saw Neville bleeding, and how she felt leaving him shirtless in his bed, alone. The same exact one she had had to forcefully push down when she had wanted to curl up by his side, just to make sure he was okay. No other reason.

"He is a big guy, I made sure he was okay and now I am here." She honestly disliked how defensive she sounded. Maybe he would hear it as tired. She was also tired.

"I saw how big he was. Well not as much as Priapus wanted to but enough," Petey said probably trying to make a joke but Pansy was too much in her head. She had heard too many things. Neville had done too much. "How exactly does that work?"

"How does what work? I am assuming genes and long hours doing manual labour in greenhouses plus physical training for the Aurors."

"I meant you and him." Petey raises an eyebrow like Pansy should understand.

"Are you seriously asking about my sex life? You are worse than Priapus."

"No but it is interesting that that is where your mind took you." Petey said with a laugh. "I spent my afternoon grilling and listening to your guy get grilled, watching his attitude and demeanour. I think I know how it works for him, I am just curious as to how it works for you."

Pansy rolled her eyes and continued to tweak the flower on her dining room table, ignoring her brother. This week they were Zinnia, daffodils, and myrtle

"Mum wants you married. Letting Longbottom court you will not fix that. What will you do when this is all over?"

Chapter Text

Pansy had thought herself nervous this morning when she picked a sleek knitted dress in navy blue made out of a very light itallian wool. It had a boat neckline, the skirt flared at her hips and reached past her knees. She fixed her hair up in a simple updo, put on the earings from the set he had given her a week before and did a very simple make up. Seeing Neville now in the lobby of St. Mungos she was no longer sure.

He was sitting hunched over, elbows on his knees wringing his hands, looking at his shoes. As he heard the heels of her shoes clicking on the marble floor he looked up and relief rushed his features. It made her think that maybe she had underestimated how big of a deal this was.

"Hi Neville."

"You came." His voice full of awe standing and reaching her in two long strides.

"I said I would."

"Yeah," He ran his hand through his hair, which he must have done a fair few times by the looks of it. "I know. Just this is a lot to ask of you."

"Says the man still nursing a wound my family gave him in a duel." She laughed at him only to find her self enveloped by his thick arms.

"Thank you." He murmured before kissing the top of her head softly. Pansy melted into the embrase hugging him back and feeling how the rigidity left his shoulders. She wanted to say that this was all for him. She wanted to pretend that it meant nothing.

It meant everything. Her size, always small, had made her feel like hugs were constrictive, claustrophobic, threatening. Not this one. She felt cocooned in his arms. Safe and sound. Her heart did a little flip flop at the kiss and then constricted at the clear effects of calmness that he seemed to be getting from it. Pushing gently against his chest she smiled looking up at him. "Your welcome, lets not keep the great Augusta waiting shall we?"

Neville smiled taking her hand in his and she allowed it. Telling herself that it was to help ease his nerves. It wasn't because having her small hand tucked into his made her feel safe, wanted. They entered a rather full elevator and Pansy felt herself being tucked into his side, and as soon as the door closed she felt him whispering in her ear, "You look beautiful by the way."

She shivered and hoped that he didn't notice. She hoped this would be a short ride and she could get some distance from him. She hoped this would be a long ride so she could stay there by his side forever.

Once out at the fourth level she was surprised by what she found as she left the lift. The walls where painted a lovely pale yellow instead of what Pansy had started denominating, institutional beige.

"This way," Neville placed his hand on the small of his back warmth spreading from it like a blanket, as he steared her towards two wide doors that opened to a beautiful conservatory. Palms, trees, flowers decorated the space. Creating smaller cozier sitting spots.

"Neville! Lovely to see you lad. It is a good day today. They are in their favourite corner." A healer, by the colour of the robes, greated Neville enthusiastically. "Oh, and who mights this be?"

"Hi Mary, this is Pansy. My…" He looked at her at that moment a crocked grin forming in his lips. "My girlfriend. Pansy, this is Mary my parents primary healer."

"Hi darling, it is wonderful to meet you. We don't get to see many of the loved ones of this one." Neville shifted nervously as Mary spoke. "Take good care of our Neville. He is one of the good ones." She finished with a fond face that spoke of years watching this boy grow into this man standing next to him.

"I am a lucky gal." Pansy said knowing the truth behind that statement and wondering not for the first time what he was doing with her, and since her conversation with Petey's portrait what she was going to do with out him.

She let Neville lead her towards a corner hidden by the topiary and ferns, where two comfortable looking love seats, and one armchair sat around a dainty table filled with tea, crumpets, scones, and sandwichs. The armchair was filled by the imposing figure of Augusta Longbottom. Not that she could see the face of the woman but she could tell that vultured hat anywhere.

"Gran." Neville said taking her hand again and navagating the fronds to reach the woman giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Mum. Dad." Doing the same to the middle aged couple on the other love seat. He was gripping her hand not meerly holding it he guided her to sit on the other loveseat, sitting himself between her and his gran. "Gran, we are here as demanded."

"Oh Neville always so dramatic. I demanded nothing I meerly pointed out that since you seem to be so serious about this… this woman, you should introduce her to your parents."

Neville let out a huff and Pansy noticed he was about to roll his eyes and probably thought better of it. Turning towards his parents

"Mum, Dad, this is Pansy. I… I am courting her." Neville said a fleeting smile flashing as he spoke. "She uhh… she makes me very happy."

"Lord and Lady Longbottom, It is a pleasure to meet you. I brought you some sweets." Pansy finally spoke ignoring Augusta for now and focusing on the two infront of her.

The man, Frank, was wearing clean and soft looking striped pijamas, with a burgundy house coat over his shoulders. His gaze never focused on them she noticed, not when they came in and sat down, not when Augusta or Neville spoke. He didn't look unhealthy if it wasn't for the vacant expression Pansy would have assumed that dressed in proper robes he would do well in any gala or dinner her parents threw.

Alice seemed much more here but not entirely. She lifted her face when they came in and her gaze while unfocused seemed to, for the most part, react to Neville and her. She was bunddled up in a quilted baby blue silk robe. It brought out the blond in her hair and the blue in her eyes which reminded her of Neville's eyes when they were younger. Still her arms were wrapped around her middle as if holding her self, curved in, protecting herself. Pansy's heart constricted at her thought.

She remembered one of the only times they had spoken about his parents when he was younger how he had asked if she would come with him. How he looked broken knowing that the next day was Sunday. How much she wanted to help. She remembered her mother laughing at her when she asked for permission.

"Pans?" Neville voice startled her.

Apparently someone had said something she had missed while lost in thoughts and memories. "Sorry I was wool gathering."

"It's okay, Gran was just asking what you did for a living." Neville said looking at her with some concern in his face depite the the stamped on smile he seemed to have aquired since entering this beautiful spot.

"No Neville, do not sanatize me. What I asked was if you were a gold digger?" Augusta said imperiously from behind her tea cup.

Pansy eyed the imposing woman before answering, "Considering that I am a Parkinson, no I have my own wealth. If I truly wanted more gold I would have stayed with Draco Malfoy or agree to marry Adrian Pucey, like my mother wants."

"Oh yes I do know that Priscilla is always on the lookout for more gold." Augusta shrudely spoke.

"Gran thats—" Neville tried to speak but was promptly cut off by his gran once again. "What happens when you are cut off from your families fortune. From what I hear your mother is set on Pucey, no matter how well my grandson preformed it that silly Parkinson trial."

"Aunt Phillie really need to keep her mouth shut." Pansy rolled her eyes. "I have my own vault. I work as an Unspeakable. Just got promoted. I am a big girl and can support my self." She can feel Neville's hand on her nape rubbing small circles with his thumb under her jaw. She had to take a deep breath to calm what ever feelings were starting to emerge from just the feeling of his large hand at her throat, nevermind the soft gentle stroke of his thumb.

Augusta hummed took a sip of her tea and said, "Good every witch should be able to support themselves. We must not be at the whims of the men in our life."

Pansy struggled to keep a straight face. Was Augusta approving of her?

"What were your Hogwarts major courses?" Augusta asks taking a cucumber sandwich and munching it.

"I… Uhhh I had passing NEWTs on Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Artimancy and Runes."

The older woman eyed her. "Not Herbology."

Pansy blushes as she looks up to Neville who now has a proper crooked smile on his face. "No Gran, Pansy may be named after a flower but she has never been much good with them." The cheeky bugger adds to her humiliation.

"Yes well some witches are more suited to receiving flowers than to get their hands dirty to grow them." Pansy answered with a pout.

"Well if you do not garden what do you spend your time doing?" Augusta asks.

"Gran!"

"Oh shush, she is a big girl. She can answer."

"I have been cross stitching lately. I am terrible and my grandmother would be appauled to see the back of my work but it helps with… Well it is a good past time." She didn't want to say that it had helped in the aftermath of the war. That it had been her only sollace while waiting a veridict on her future based on the one moment she'd been too scared and acted on it.

Augusta eyed her more calculating than normal, which was saying something considering that Pansy was never not under a calculationg stare.

"Did you hear about the Macmillans? Their eldest, Sam, just had a child. Out of wedlock."

Pansy let out a huff and rolled her eyes. "Fuck the Macmillans." She replied automatically. "Sorry Neville I know that Ernie is your friend but they are the worst."

"What is thing with Parkinson hating the Macmillans?" Neville asked dumbfounded.

"We dont hate them we hold a proper amount of disdain for them." Pansy answered in a dignified way.

"But like not all?" Neville continues to try.

"No, no Neville. The girl– Pansy is right. They are the bain of any social gathering." Augusta responded airily.

"Did you see Tifany, in the benefit auction a month ago?" Pansy asked finally lose enough to take a sandwich for herself.

"Clueless that girl. How she managed to graduate Hogwarts is still a mystery." Augusta spoke with the amount of disgust Pansy felt. After demolishing the Macmillans properly they turned to the Puceys much to the horror of Neville's and the utter joy of Pansy.

Augusta it turned out was a great source for gossip and as catty as they came. Pansy was starting to understand why her great aunt Phillie never missed a 'cards' night with Augusta.

For his part Neville might be uncomfortable with the topic at hand but she could tell that the fact that they were getting along was providing him with some peace. His shoulders had lowered, he had lost the ram rod straight posture he had. Not that he was slouching; Pansy was sure that if he slouched Augusta would hit on the back of his head. His hands never seemed to leave her body but where the touches at the beginning felt like he was holding on to her for dear life they now spoke of intimacy and care. She would not look too deeply into it, this was all fake after all.

As they started to get up to leave, Alice started fidgeting and looking in her pockets and stretching out a hand towards Neville. "This? Still?" Augusta spoke with a weary voice. "Very well, dear. We must go soon though I have that abhorrent classical recital at the Selwyns."

"Better you than me," Pansy spoke, watching. As Neville stretched out his hand to receive an empty Droobles Blowing Gum wrapper in his hand. His smile was small and sad. "Thanks, mum. I will see you soon." He kissed her cheek and as he made to leave she pulled on his jumper sleeve.

"Are you okay, mum?" He asked a mix of bewilderment and concern in his eyes. Alice and her unfocused gaze went from Neville to Pansy and back to Neville before tugging on her empty earlobes. "Oh…" Neville explained looking from Pansy to her mother frantically tugging at her earlobes.

"Her earrings," Pansy muttered, appalled. How could she have been so stupid. "Of course. They are yours," she started taking the beautiful ruby pendant earing off when Alice started to shake her head adamantly. Pansy stopped afraid she had upset this sad, hurt, delicate woman.

Alice pulled on Neville's sleeve, once more gaining his full attention before she pulled off her ring, of a large ruby surrounded by gleaming diamonds in a gold setting, and placing it in Neville's still stretched out hand next to the gum wrapper. Looking back from Neville to Pansy to the ring and smiling.

Chapter Text

Pansy was frantically looking for Neville and Theodore. However, she knew that Theodore, while a chaos monster was not an idiot, he was probably hiding from her and many others. She finally saw Neville walking through the Auror Department towards his office. Pansy took his elbow and hissed "Just nod." The look of surprise at seeing here at the his office in her unspeakable lavender robes was nothing to the look of surprise as Robbards, Neville's boss, approached the both of them.

"Longbottom, your vacation has been approved. A bit cheeky to ask for a vacation before leaving us in two weeks and on such short notice. You do deserve them and it is less vacation to pay out." Robbards said with a smile towards the couple as he handed Neville a vacation request in Neville's own hand writing starting on that afternoon and covering Friday to Monday with his signature on it.

Neville gave a bewildered nod. "Thanks, sir," he said before turning and guiding Pansy towards his office. As soon as the door closed behind them, Pansy slumped on the chair in front of his desk catching her breath. "Wanna tell me what that was all about, Pans?"

"Theodore." Was all she managed to gasp still out of breath from running around looking for him with anxiety spiking.

"What has that Niffler been up to? He has been hiding from me since last Friday." Neville sounded pissed and Pansy was unsure as to why that sent a thrill through her.

She let out a deep breath and looked around the office not quite avoiding the question but she was also not looking forward to answering it. "Is that us?" She asked unexpectedly looking at a simple but beautiful gold frame with a picture of them dancing at the gala. She was smiling and he looked at her like—

"Yes, don't change the subject, Pans. What did the Cornish pixie do this time?" Neville asked arms crossed on his chest.

"Is Theodore a Niffler or a Pixie? I am confused."

"Nott is the Merlin forsaken offspring of that unlawful union. He like meddling and creating chaos," Neville said finally walking over to his own desk sitting behind it, hitting the file cabinet as he went by it. "What chaos is he responsible for this time? Why did Robbards just hand me a vacation form approved with what looks like my signature in my hand writing?"

Pansy was still looking at the picture watching as they danced around eyes never leaving each other. She had never looked that happy.

The door opened with a bang showing Gregory, also breathless. One look inside the room and he closed the door falling in his own seat. "Oh, good you got to him."

"Just in time too, Robbards was literally handing him the form," Pansy replied, ignoring the fuming Neville.

"Close call. He has gotten cheekier," Gregory said breathing deeply.

Pansy smirked. "Yes, this whole settling down with a Lion doesn't suit him. It isn't for the faint of heart, you know."

Gregory lifted one eyebrow sardonically and was about to respond when Neville interrupted. "Will someone explain what is happening here?"

"Oh, Parks you really should have told him." Gregory had the gall to admonish her.

"I thought it wasn't going to happen. We are at the end of the summer! I have also been busy, official courtship and a big girl job have made it, so Theodore's antics are not in the forefront of my mind," Pansy shrugged.

"As of last Friday Nott's antics were part of our official courtship," Neville cut in darkly.

Pansy looked at him slowly. "What did he do?" She asked worriedly.

"Never you mind. Why don't you explain what he is currently doing?"

Pansy pursed her lips looking at him and sighed. "Fine. Welcome to the Semiannual Snake Retreat. Theodore has been organizing one since we were about 13 and our parents couldn't care less where we were as long as it wasn't in front of them."

"Semiannual?" Neville asks dumbfounded.

"It used to be semi- biannual, every summer and Christmas Hols, but Theo would sometimes get an idea of going somewhere on the Easter hols and there we would be. You don't get much of a say." Gregory nodded towards the approved vacation form still on Neville desk. "We became adults and started working and things got a bit harder to do. We also managed get Theo to promise to stop shit like this so often as it was a bad look for us. I think that now he is grateful for that promise because getting 4 aurors off on vacation at the same exact time including one of the supervisors must of not been that easy."

Neville was blinking slowly surely taking this all in when the door opened again revealing Millicent. "Ahhh, good you are all here. I assume you all got your summons?" She said as she gave Pansy a kiss in the cheek and sat in the only other chair left in the cramped room.

"No summons, just vacation requests approved so far. Do you have the summons? Who else is coming?" Pansy said finally setting the frame down placing it carefully on the table. Something to think about at a later date.

"If this is a Snakes thing how come I am being roped into it?" Neville interrupted.

All three looked at him like he had grown an erumpent horn. "You are with Parks," Gregory answered succinctly.

"Right, but surely you all would want to spend time with each other. Isn't that what this is for?" Neville asked still looking mildly confused, only to look a lot confused when all three snakes started to laugh.

Once they caught their breath Pansy patted his hand in consolation, "Oh no. This is never about us catching up. This is about something Theodore wants to meddle with. Question is, will it be a breakup, a hook up, or an admission of love? There are other options. I swear most of the big events in our friend group have started or ended in a Snake Retreat."

Neville was back to blinking slowly, processing. This poor, unassuming man was being caught in the webs of her friendship group. Surely he would finally put his foot down and leave her to her own mess. She was about to tell him that he didn't have to go he could take the vacation and work in his green house when the door opened again, Daphne coming in sitting happily on Milicent's lap.

"You won't guess who is coming this year," she said in manner of greeting.

"Obviously, Longbottom," Millicent said at the same time Gregory supplied, "Neville."

"No! Not him," Daphne said, insulted. Then, looking at Neville raised eyebrows, she rolled her eyes. "Obviously he is coming. He is Parks', that is not a challenge."

Pansy felt a small warmth roll through her at hearing 'He is Parks''. He wasn't. It was all fake, but for now she would enjoy it. Neville for his part was looking immensely pleased.

"You can't mean Potter. He was there last year that wouldn't be news," Pansy said looking at her friend shrewdly.

Daphne rolled her eyes. "Obviously, Potter will be there. If it wasn't for the newest member, I'd assume Theo was proposing."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Wait, shouldn't there be an addition of two, not just one? Last year Blaise brought Tracey 'to even out the numbers' and I got stuck with Drake being his mopey self."

"You will not believe who is coming!" A shriek sounded as the door once again opened, Astoria bounding in with all of her vast reserves of energy. Somehow she avoided all the plants and piles of papers on Gregory's side of the office to fall on his lap a big kiss to his cheek.

"No, Tori! I am the one with the info I get to tell them," Daphne said pouting. Millicent and Pansy roll their eyes smiling at each other. Sisters! that look said. Letting the sister's bickering to roll through her and letting her eyes wander, landing once again on the picture frame, noticing it wasn't the only one. There was a picture of his parents; younger, vibrant, bright smile. One of Neville in front of the Hogwarts Express with his gran and Trevor. All the meaningful and loved ones, and then her.

High pitched squeals and a groan from Gregory broke her thoughts and when she looked up she found Neville looking at her softly. "Ginny," he said in answer to her unspoken question. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, Theodore is playing with fire," Pansy said in awe.

Gregory looked exhausted already. "Salazar, Draco is going to be unbearable."

"Oh, but Greg, think how much better he will be after this weekend. He will either be done with Weaslette or they will finally get together. Either way this stage of our lives will be done with," Millicent spoke reasonably.

All snakes nodded. "I don't know, having Potter and his ex in the same place seems like a recipe for disaster. Lions are explosive and the gingers even more so," Daphne questioned.

"Ginny and Harry are fine with each other. They don't, you know, hang out or search each other's company much lately but in fairness to them, they were never friends." Neville voice jumps in reminding everyone that there is ,in fact, another Lion in their midst.

"These snake retreats are getting rather crowded of none snakes," Astoria said shrewdly.

"Yes, well, I am going to take my none snake. We need to pack, I expect the Summons to be coming in soon." Pansy said, standing up and holding out a hand to Neville

Sometimes being right was a burden. On her coffee table two large envelopes were waiting. They each took theirs and started reading. Noticing how Neville pocketed his broken button, before falling heavily on her couch.

"Pans, why does it say summons? You all mentioned it but I thought you were being hyperbolic." Neville asked after a bit.

"Because 'Invitation' insinuates that you have a choice. Theodore is not one to give people outs." Pansy said as she read through the thick expensive parchment, the itinerary didn't actually look terrible. Some moment might be enjoyable.

"Pans…" Neville's once again speaks this time, his voice sound weird, a mixture of worry and anger. "Have you gotten to the Sleeping Arrangments?"

"What?!" This was new. Never had Theo dared to dictate where they slept or with whom. She ALWAYS got her own room. Finally flicking to the last page. "That's motherfucking pixfler!"

"Yeah."

"He did this on purpose, so he can blame me on why Ginevra and Drake must room together," Pansy ranted. "You don't have to come. Take the time and work in your greenhouses, organize yourself for your move to Hogwarts."

"What? So that Pucey can take my spot and 'even out the numbers?" Neville spat out.

Pansy didn't think she had ever seen Neville this worked up. Not when he was teased at Hogwarts. Not when it took anyone in his life to remember his existence when they were younger. Or when his uncle Algie threw him off a pier. Not that fateful day before the Hogwarts picnic. Not even in seventh year with the Carrows. He might have been angry, but it was cold anger, calculating.

If Pansy didn't know this was all fake, she would swear he was jealous. That was ludicrous. This was a favour to her. He had no feelings for her. He'd just gotten riled up by Theodore, easy to do, and auror training had done wonders for his lying ability.

"Okay, it is 3pm, you should go pack. I'll have this solved by the time we arrive," Pansy nodded resolutely. "I mean, if he planned for me and Ginevra to room together, surely there will be two beds in the room."

It will be fine.

Chapter Text

It was not fine. It wasn't terrible either. It was a king sized bed. On the bed in Theodore's handwriting was a note:

Dearest Panzinella;

Consider it bundling practice.

XO

"I will kill that urchin," Pansy spat out as she crumbled the note.

"Nope, sorry, Nott and I have outstanding business," Neville spoke cryptically as he eyed the room. "I don't know what the obsession with bundling is but I am fine to sleep on the floor. As long as I don't have to share a room with Malfoy, I am happy to sleep where ever."

Pansy waved him off easily sending her things to the walk in closet with a flick of her wand. "We can share the bed. It wouldn't be the first time. Even if you are a little bigger now than when we were five, you aren't big enough that we can't share a king size bed without touching."

Neville looked at her and then at the bed. A pause. A consideration. "Okay." He stated taking off his cloak laying it on the arm chair in the corner.

"What? You aren't going to ask if I am sure? State you have slept in worse places than that pretty rug. That you couldn't possibly sleep in a bed with an unmarried woman?"

His chuckle was deep. "I could, and yeah, I have slept in worse places but that bed looks comfortable. We have two hours before we have to go to dinner with all your friends and I fancy a nap. Mind if I take the right side? It is closer to the door," Neville said pointing at both the bed and the door. "Sorry, Auror habits are hard to shake."

"Nap?" She asked as she watched him taking his pocket watch and placing it on the bedside table, along with his wand, coin pouch and a couple old looking keys.

"Yes, you are welcome to join me."

Pansy did not nap. She didn't. Yet she laid on the left side of the bed. She could do with a rest.

Her eye lids felt heavy and there was something warm surrounding her and well she was tired.

She woke up her head on a much warmer sturdier pillow than she was used to with something warm and heavy wrapped around her waist. "Hey," a warm voice spoke from above her but she felt the words more than she heard it. She might be bogged down from sleep but even she could figure out what had happened. Pansy started to get up, a yawn slipping out of her but his arm just tightened. "Stay, Pans. Rest we still have sometime." She was warm. She was comfortable. So she stayed.

Bang! The door to their room opened wide hitting the wall startling them awake, Neville immediately covered her with his body and threw an incarcerous over his shoulder.

"For fuck sake, Longbottom, get me out of here," Drake's voice yelled indignantly.

Neville paid him no mind cupping her face in his hand, "You okay?" Pansy's heart was still beating fast. It was hard to formulate words when your head wasn't sure where to stick. On the fact that she had actually napped? On fucking Drake ruining it as he does? On Neville's body covering hers?

"Oh Parks, Longbottom is kinky, instead of a cuck chair, he ties him up? Not gonna lie, I think he deserves it." Daphne's voice enters the room.

"That's not what happened. The oaf tied me up because I dared enter the room."

"Draco, did you even knock? Neville is an Auror. I don't think he takes kindly to people barging into his room." Astoria's voice adds, but Pansy is still looking at his eyes matching her breathing to his. Not realizing until now how affected she actually was. "There you go, Pans," Neville's voice deep and steady sweeps through her.

"I'm fine, Neville, you can let me go now I have to deal with these idiots." She finally took hold of herself and Neville slumped to the side allowing her to sit up and meet her so called friends. "What the fuck are you all doing here? Drake, you could have been killed. Like Astoria said, you can't just barge into an aurors room like that! You need to knock."

"But it isn't his room, it is yours!" Drake sulks. "Can you tell that oaf of a boyfriend to get these off me?"

"What are you two wanting?" Pansy said, ignoring Drake and facing the Greengrass sisters.

"I heard a bang and thought it was probably a good idea to check on that," Astoria said already making herself comfortable on the bed.

"I was coming to ask for clothes. I don't like any of mine," Daphne said on the way to the closet.

"You packed specifically for this trip, what do you mean you need my clothes?" Pansy sit up on her bed pulling her knees to her chest.

"I don't like any of mine!" Daphne yelled from the closet

"She has always been an awful packer," Astoria said from where she was now laying at the foot of the bed.

"Hello! I am still tied up and hanging from the roof, is no one going to help me?!" Draco whines.

"I am going to take a shower get the Portkey ick off me before dinner," Neville finally said, sitting up and leaning to kiss the top of her head before walking towards the en suite. That poor man, Pansy bit her lower lip, surely he'd leave now. She couldn't imagine how he'd be able to move on from this.

"He is gorgeous, Parks! You are so lucky," Astoria cooed as soon as they could hear the shower running.

"Astoria Greengrass, you are engaged! You can't just ogle your fiance's auror partner." Daphne's voice came from the closet. "But yeah, Parks, he is hot even I can attest to that." Finally coming out of the closet with two of Pansy's dresses. "Come over and look through what I brought whenever your want. Tori, can I look through your stuff now?"

Astoria got up and nodded. "See you later, Parks." Sending her an air kiss as both sisters left the room, leaving her with Drake, who was still struggling against the ropes. She didn't move just watched him.

"Come on, Parks, get these off me. You can't let that oaf treat me like this."

"Drake, the way I see it you deserve this. You cannot just barge in my room," Pansy said wanting to sound stern, angry; it came out tired.

"But why? I have been doing just that for years! You have never cared before," he continued to whine.

"Because I am with Neville now. This is his room too." Pansy started to get up, shaking her head. "And even if it wasn't; you should at the minimum knock"

"About that…"

"About what the knocking? Don't worry your delicate hands will not get splinters from knocking on a painted door."

"NO! About this being his room. Why don't we switch?"

Pansy rolled her eyes. She really should have expected this. Of course. She leaned over and grabbed her wand with a swish Draco tumbled to the floor. "Drake, for your own health and safet, I don't think you should room with Neville." Not to mention that where there had been apprehension before she was starting to feel eagerness for this weekend and spending more time with Neville. Not that she would admit it.

"Me? Room with Longbottom? Absolutely no!" Draco said getting up and walking towards her. "I meant you and me, Parks. We've shared a bed before. It would be fine."

"Drake, I love you. You are one of my best friends so understand that what I am about to say is said with love," she said exasperated. "I rather sleep in the gravel entryway than sleep in the same bed with you again. I need to go get ready," she said turning towards the closet to see what mess Daphne had left her.

When she came out with a pretty cotton shirt dress in her hand Neville had just come out of the shower towel hanging low on his hips. Pansy's mouth was dry. She had forgotten how good this man looked without a shirt. "Pans?"

"Huh?" She needed to stop staring. Swallowing hard she managed to pull her eyes off his chest and meet his gaze. He was blushing slightly but had a sly grin on his face. "Sorry, I should shower," she said hurriedly.

"Sure, Pans," he said walking into the closet, a chuckle following him.

It was fine. This was good. She was attracted to him. Astoria and Daphne had a point he was good looking. He had always been cute, at least she had thought so, but he had grown and he was… well, lickable. That was all. All these feeling were because she was horny and he was hot. That's it.

After taking a rather colder shower than she had initially wanted, Pansy took her time getting dressed, applying her potions and her signature red lip. She came out of the bathroom expecting Neville to be waiting for him and was surprised to see him hugging Ginevra at the door and whispering something in her ear. He looked pensive as he closed the door. As soon as he looked up and the look was gone replaced with a dazzling smile.

"Hiya, Pans. You ready?"

"Hi, uh, yeah." She hated how soft her voice sounded. She wanted to know what Ginevra had been doing in her room. She wanted to know why and what he was whispering into her ear. Deep breath. She walked forward allowing him to open the door for her and hated how good it felt to have his hand on the small of her back. Ginevra was just a friend. This was all fake. Nothing mattered!

"Pans?" Shit, he had been talking and she had not been paying attention.

"Sorry, lost in thought. Did you need something?"

He just smiled. "No, I just wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful."

Pansy looked at him then. Really looked at him. "You, on the other hand, could look better. Why isn't this shirt tailored, Neville? These pants are out of style and also need tailoring." He did not look bad. He looked good, crisp light blue shirt and a chinos, light brown belt matching his shoes. It's just that he could look better, his Gala outfit was still seared in her mind.

"Because the last time I bought clothes was probably five years ago. I buy clothes for comfort not style." His smile widened. "If it bothers you that much and you want to remedy whatever fashion sin I have committed, you are keyed into my wards."

"You cannot possibly mean that." Pansy uttered flabbergasted. Surely he was teasing her.

"What can't Longbottom possibly mean?" Millicent asks as she joined them in the hallway before entering the dinning room.

"He is trying to imply I have carte blanche with his wardrobe," Pansy answered in a tone that clearly noted how incredulous this was, even as she allowed him to help her into her seat.

"Oh, darling. No Nev, you can't do that. It will already feed her over grown ego," Astoria said reaching out for his hand over the table patting it, kindly.

"Tori, it really is not that big of a deal. Pans would actually be doing me a huge favour." Neville said, turning Astoria's hand and squeezing it lightly before letting it go, and draping his arm over that back rest of her chair. It shouldn't surprise her that these two are in nickname bases but still something about the exchange shocked her. Neville had clearly been a good friend to Greg, and therefore Astoria, for this whole time.

Astoria smiled ruefully. "You can't mean that. I mean, don't get me wrong, Parks, sense of fashion is excellent but she would completely take over."

"Oh no, Longbottom. Trust me. You do not want trust Parks with something like that," Drake drawled next, sitting on Astoria's other side and already with a drink in hand.

"Trust you is not a mistake I ever plan on making," Neville practically spat at Drake before turning to Astoria, kind smile back in his face. "No, really Tory. I have spent the past years either in uniform or in one field or another. My clothing isn't for dinner parties or company; for the most part they are for work. It would be a great help if she took a fresh look and bought what she felt I needed. I will be starting a completely new job, it hadn't occurred to me before but more appropriate clothing would be great."

Pansy looked at him and considered how fun it would be to dress this man. He would need new robes for meetings. At least one muggle suit. His shirts didn't have to go they could just be tailored.

"You don't need a whole new wardrobe, somethings can be tailored. Somethings HAVE to go though." Pansy started hesitantly.

"Great, well as long as you don't chuck my jumpers." Because they were his dad's was the part he didn't say. Pansy knew though. She knew he used to hide in his dad closest when particularly sad. "T&T know to just charge to my vault anything you say."

"Okay if we are all done debating whether Longbottom should buy new tighty whities." Theo finally entered the room along with Blaise.

"I wear boxer brief, Nott, if you are going to be nosey about it," Neville responded loudly.

"Really? Oh well, I will still picture you in tighty whities I think they would hug your package better," Theo said with a wink.

"Salazar, Theo, can you not even keep it in your pants with your boyfriend right there?" Blaise says exasperated.

"Actually I have seen Neville's package and it is well worth picturing," Harry added as he kissed Theo on the cheek before sitting down.

Neville blushed furiously. Draco pretended to puke.

With a roll of his eyes, Blaise continued as if Harry hadn't interrupted. "Welcome to Casa Tarantella."

"Hey! I wanted to do the welcome." Theo whined.

"To late you missed it." Blaise continued without missing a beat. "For our first meal, I want to introduce to you our brilliant chef and my beautiful girlfriend, Hannah."

Chapter Text

There was a lot of of ribbing gentle or other wise at Blaise's expense for many things. This was the first steady girlfriend Blaise brought into the group. It was a big deal. All throughout the dinner though, Pansy kept her eyes on Neville. She was attempting to catalogue his reactions to his ex girlfriend showing up with another guy. But so far she couldn't really tell anything was amiss; he looked genuinely happy about it.

Pansy hated she cared. She hated that Hannah seemed to fit in, easily and without effort. Everything she did seemed effortless. She brought out plate after plate of decadent food, apparently made by her. Not that Hannah would take the credit. No, she kept saying that 'the kitchen was fabulous' and that 'Blaise's help was invaluable'. Not to mention 'Nina and Bepa really did much of the work'. Even though the two elves had come out to refute this statement. The elves loved Hannah. It had taken them 5 years to even call Pansy by her first name instead of Ms. Parkinson. Here they were calling her Hannah. Pansy was jealous and she did not like it. Specially not when she really wanted to eat three helpings of this seafood scampi.

Once they had all eaten the most decadent black forest cake Pansy had ever had, Daphne finally spoke up. "Wait I do love taking the piss out of Blaise, but we have had a whole meal and we haven't heard how you two met."

Pansy was half way through her second slice of the cake; at the first bite had given her a near orgasmic experience. She was pretty sure the moan she had let out was loud enough that Neville had looked down at her with a raised eyebrow and a knowing smile.

"Actually that is all Neville's fault," Hannah, the girl Pansy was going to have to befriend in order to get more of this delicious cake, said with a kind smile as she took Blaise's hand in hers. Blaise, the sap, tucked her to his side and kissed the top of her head.

"Longbottom set up his ex? That's feels very…" Theo started but then just sort of fizzled.

"It wasn't like that," Blaise started.

"It also wasn't not like that," Neville replied quickly.

"Shush men! You are truly ruining this love story for me." Astoria ever the romantic sat up, eager to here all the details. "Please Hannah continue."

"Well, I actually don't know the start too well so maybe Neville should start it off," Hannah said with a pretty blush.

Neville shook his head genially, the arm that had been resting on the back rest of Pansy's seat lowered to curl on her shoulders, his thumb running absent circles on her bare shoulders. "Well, an inquiry from the Le Mie Muses Vineyards in Italy came to me via owl back in December?" Getting a nod from Blaise, Neville took a sip and continued. "It asked if I could come and look at their Pino Noir vines. Not to bore you all with the herbological aspects, but basically they were worried about their yield and would I be so kind to take a look." Another sip Pansy could tell he was enjoying the attention. "After a bit more communication with Paulo, I agreed to go only to be surprised to be met by Blaise himself. Anyway, three days there, we got to talking. He mentioned wanting to get his product into England and how hard it is to get it into restaurants and the masses. I mention Hannah and her plans to remodel the Leaky. Figured they'd get along; they like food and drink."

"What, you don't like food and drink?" Potter asks good-naturedly.

"A wine is a wine, you know?" Neville shrugged. More than half the table rolled their eyes, a few even looked murderous. Including Blaise and Hannah.

"I don't get it, man, you spent three days explaining all sorts of differences between the several grapes and yet you can't tell the difference in the product?" Blaise stated slightly angry about it.

"I know I prefer your Pinot Noir," Neville said nonchalantly, lifting his half full glass in toast at him.

Blaise rolled his eyes big and all the snakes at the table groaned. "You are a suck-up. Obviously, you like the taste of Pansy."

Neville's blush climbed all the way up his neck to his ear but still looked confused and Pansy found it disturbingly endearing. "He names the wines after important women in his life. The Pinot Noir is mine."

"BACK TO THE STORY!" Astoria yells.

"You are just jealous you don't have a wine." Daphne spoke from her seat.

"NO! I just want to hear the actual romantic part not the bromance Nev and Blaise seem to be having. I have enough of Nev's bromance with my own fiancé," Astoria replied irritated.

Pansy was tanning, wearing a black drawstring bikini with gold beading, large sunglasses on her face trying unsuccessfully, to not stare at Neville. He was not ripped like Theodore, Draco and Blaise. He was toned though and where most of the other men in their party except maybe Gregory were lean. Gregory though has a narrow waist, Neville was taller than Gregory and everything of his was thick. Pansy could state that with all certainty as she had woken up with all of him pressed against her back. She had fled that bed with speed.

Now she had to see him in the pool. Without a shirt and have to deal with the significant looks all her friends were giving him and her.

"FERRET! PUT ME DOWN!" Ginevra screamed as Drake lifted her on to his shoulders.

"No can do, Red. We are playing chicken and I need the best player on my team," Drake said nonchalantly settling her on his shoulders when a large shadow appeared covering her sun.

"Be my partner?" Neville smiled down at her.

"Absolutely not! Have you gone insane? This is a tanning bathing suit, not to get wet!" Pansy sneered at him rolling her eyes.

"Come on, Pans. It will be fun," he said earnestly.

She was about to say another cutting remark when Millicent walked over patting his chest in a way that most definitely didn't make her jealous. "Come on, Big Boy, you can put me on those glorious shoulders of your. We will give them a run for their galleons."

Neville eyed them both and with a shrug held out his hand and both jumped in the water.

Pansy wanted to not care, but she did. So she raised the tanning bed so that she had a full view of the madness bellow. Astoria was comfortable settled on Gregory's shoulders, Theodore on Potter's and Millicent on Neville's. Those two look imposing. Millicent had never been dainty or small and on Neville's shoulders she Pansy had to admit she looked like a fearsome Amazon. Hannah and Blaise choosing to stay on the comfortable hammock where they seemed rather cozy. Good for them.

"You know, I do think my girlfriend is flirting with your boyfriend," Daphne says from her right. "And he seems to be taking it in very well."

Pansy was about to complain to insist that Neville would never, except; did he really have to lean his head back towards her like that? Let her run her cherry nails through his head.

"Worried?" Pansy managed to snap at Daphne.

"Pshhh… no. But I am considering asking to borrow him for a night or two. I think Millie would have a lot of fun with him while I have fun with her." That was certainly an image, and Pansy wanted to shrug it. She wanted to say that it didn't matter, that it was all fake anyway, that they were welcome to play with him as long as he said yes, of course. He wasn't hers. Not really. But she was starting to realize she wanted him to be hers.

Pansy was lost in these thoughts and instead of answering decided to focus on the game becoming feral in front of her. Millie had no issue toppling Astoria who giggled gleefully as Gregory pulled her out of the water and kissed her to make sure she could breath. Ginevra and Drake fought valiantly against Potter and Theodore and thanks to a rather formidable move from Draco's legs under the water were able to topple the other two.

Millie and Neville then faced against Ginevra and Drake. Pansy couldn't help moving forward in her seat. "There is no way Draco and Ginny get the better of our loves." Daphne said next to her. "Come on, Millie, baby. You got this. Show that little Lion you mean business. If you win, I'll show you that I am better between your thighs than Longbottom."

That drew out a loud chuckle from Neville and a fierce look from Millie. "Oh babe, you have always been the best thing between my thighs," Millie said blowing in her a kiss and facing off with Ginevra who had been running her finger through Drake's hair.

The battle that ensued was fierce and while Pansy could have focused on a hundred different things, all she could see was Neville's large hands and long finger grabbing on to Millie's golden ample thighs. He almost managed to cover them. If he ever got his hands on her…

A splash hit her feet breaking that particular thought. "Fucking Ferret! I should have known you wouldn't know what to do with my thighs over your shoulder," Ginevra said as soon as she surfaced.

"Oh Red, we both know that is not true." Drake shouted behind her and Pansy could see the blush riding up Ginevra's neck as she walked away from the pool.

Chapter Text

This was not how Snake Retreats were supposed to go. Draco was not supposed to be the joke. He had laughed for years when Theo meddled with everyone else, Daphne and Millie being one of his crowning achievements.

One look at the room assignment and he'd just known Longbottom would figure out a way to get out of being his roommate. Not that he wanted to room with Longbottom but Draco just didn't understand why that fellow seemed to genuinely hate him. He didn't seem to hate Theo and the man had actually poisoned the oaf.

So Draco was prepared to room with someone else, he had hoped for Parks if he was honest. He figured proper Longbottom would not room with the girl he was 'courting'. It had to be improper. So it had been a shock to find himself dropped in a room by the portkey with the most beautiful woman in the world. In response, he had swiftly ran out and into Pansy's room. Not expecting to find her cuddling nor to be promptly hung up from the ceiling. Then Parks had defended the oaf of Longbottom and made Draco leave the room, that still smarted.

Since when did Pansy cuddle? When they had been together, she had been the first to kick him out of the room to his own bed, the other side of the bed was not enough distance. It had been great. Draco had sworn up and down that this courtship with Longbottom was an arrangement. He had talked about it at length with his mum after the gala. Adrian had been pushing too hard for a betrothal and Pansy, rightfully so, had made sure to keep him away. But they were cuddling in bed. Napping!

At dinner, Longbottom kept on touching her absentmindedly, and she just kept on moving her body closer to him. Draco had tried to talk to Blaise about it afterwards, and the ass-hole had been to infatuated with his own romance that he had had the gull to tell him that Draco was too focused on the wrong girl.

Maybe he was… maybe it was easier to get all up in Pansy's relationship than to consider the fact that he was upset, that there were two beds in the room, and that Red seemed to not be paying a single bit of attention to him. She had slipped early from dinner and, by the time he got back to their room hoping to talk to her, she had been asleep, probably faking it.

He had felt brave in the pool. She looked stunning in her red bikini and all he wanted was to get his hands on her. Chicken might have been a transparent effort but he was damn happy that it worked. Even if the oaf of Longbottom should be banned from the game.

After the pool that afternoon, Draco had been feeling a little better. Touching her, having her in his arms seemed like a good move forward. She had carded her fingers through his hair. Things with Red were improving.

He had been waiting anxiously next to the stupid rowing boats Theo had concocted. Finally, this was his opportunity for quiet one on one. Maybe Draco could fix this. He was feeling hopeful.

Then there she was, looking radiant, powerful. He had been an idiot to let her go. He was starting to think that maybe Theo had a point to have invited her when he saw Longbottom the oaf next to her. They were talking animatedly, friendly, Pansy holding Longbottom's hand looking like she was hanging on to every word the oaf uttered.

Red looked up and saw him and before he had time to wave hi, she took the oaf's other hand and said. "Nev, can we go together?"

Longbottom for his part looked from one woman to the other uncertain and a little upset. "Uhhh, Pans? That okay with you?"

Pans … Pfff! She hated that nickname. She had banned them all from using it as soon as they had reached Hogwarts. "Parks," He emphasised the nickname, "will be fine with me."

If looks could kill Draco was sure that he would be dead on the spot from the looks the oaf gave him. Before Longbottom could say anything, Parks spoke. "Yeah, Neville, go ahead. I need a word with Drake, anyway." Then she went on her tiptoes to ostensibly kiss the oaf's cheek but he was so much bigger than her that he had to lean down.

Not wanting the despicable show of tenderness to continue, he grabbed Park's arm and pulled her away, towards the stupid boats.

"Merlin, Malfoy, gentle, no need to pull her arm out off her socket." He heard Longbottom, the oaf, say behind him.

Draco, annoyed, replied. "She is a big girl Longbottom. She can handle herself, she doesn't need to be rescued."

At the same time as Red stated, "Leave them, Nev. The ferret is harmless, really. Parkinson is more than capable of taking care of herself," pulling a rather reluctant Longbottom away to their own boat.

He felt Parks pulling her arm out of his grasp as Draco watched Red row away with some other guy. By the time he went to help Parks into the boat, he found her sitting primly and looking unhappy at the bow of the small row boat.

"I don't get why you seem so bloody upset. He will be in your bed tonight," Draco waggled his eyebrows suggestively even if his tone was sullen, before flicking his wand making the oars on the boat start to move smoothly across the water. He heard Pansy snort looking bored, one hand supporting her chin looking longingly towards Longbottom and Red.

"He is such a try hard." Another snort from Pansy as they both watched the oaf actually row the muggle way. "Okay, why am I getting the attitude when it is his fault I am stuck with you?"

"His fault?"Pansy answered incensed.

Finally he had her attention. "Yeah. If he wanted to be with you he should have said no to Red. Instead he just does as she wants. maybe he is secretly in love with her."

Pansy rolled her eyes and shook her head like he was ridiculous, which he was, he knew it but still she could humour him a little. He was the injured party here. "Drake, if you weren't an idiot you'd be with Red right now. I would be …" She didn't finish instead changing tact. "Explain how you managed to fumble that woman worse than a quaffle."

"What? I didn't!" Draco hated how defensive he sounded. "Red and I don't like each other. We are rivals."

"Yeah, sure." Pansy retorted sounding so unconvinced. "Look, I don't know what you did or told her but I do know that you are head over heels for her and miserable about it. So do us all a massive favour; get over your self and fix it."

"Like you and your relationship with the oaf?" Draco said sounding even to his ears like a toddler.

"What about it, Drake?" Pansy answered folding her arms and singing him with her dark stair.

"Well, what are you playing at? Obviously he is into you."

She laughed at this. "A second ago he was secretly in love with Ginevra. Pick a lane."

It was his time to roll her eyes. "He is here, out of his comfort zone for you. He gets to call you Pans; a nickname you banned all of us for using. You two have always had that weird connection." Draco added stretching his legs in front of him crossing his legs at his ankles.

"What exactly are you getting at?"

"I don't know, Parks. You are changing for him. I don't think it is healthy."

Pansy raised her eyebrow, 'Oh?' it asked rather loudly. So he continued. "Since when do you cuddle? Or are okay being called Pans? Last time I called you that I couldn't sit for a week after. Since when do you kick me out of your room?!"

She took a deep and tired breath. "Drake, just because I am getting boundaries and have different comfort levels with different people does not mean I am in an unhealthy relationship. It means we are growing, and maybe I have realised things we used to do to cope with our world are no longer needed nor okay."

"So you and the oaf… Is it real?" Draco looked at her shift in her seat looking at Longbottom. " I would have put a hefty bet on it all being fake. A show for your parents, something to make them stop planning your wedding with Adrian." he shrugged. "Yet you seek him. You are comfortable with him like you haven't been with anyone else; not me, not Greg."

"Look, I don't need you to understand my relationship with Nev…ille." She shook her head as if to dispel a bad thought and looked sad, which Draco didn't understand. "I am happy, I don’t know, Drake. You could be happy. You have a frankly stunning woman somehow interested in you and you are actively making choices to push her away.” She said looking morosely at the other boat that held their joint interest. “I have known you all my life and you love to self sabotage. It’s a Slytherin life skill and you are our king but this is too much.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“The oaf loves you.”

"Well, Ginevra loves you." She stated vehemently. "Take me to shore I am done with this ridiculous conversation."

Chapter Text

"Marry me." The way he asked the question, if it could even be described as that, was somewhere between a statement of truth and a demand. It was both not how he wanted to say it, but it wasn't what he wanted to say at all.

Or was it.

He better figure this shit out soon because the love of his life was looking at him like he had just lost the last sliver of sanity that remained. Which maybe he had.

He needed… something. Either to say something. To do something. This moment had lasted too long. The silence permeating every pore in the room.

Why wasn't she saying anything. She had always had things to say. A comeback. A statement. Something. Ever since the had reacquainted themselves she had never been speechless. She did look beautiful. Confused but beautiful; maybe insulted?

A ring! He had forgotten a ring. Of course! She was a pureblood, after all; she would have expected a ring. Something from his vault. Something distinct but not gaudy, not his mothers ring. That wouldn't do. Too much baggage there.

Once again moving before thinking, he sank on one knee and pulled his signet ring off his pinky finger and offered it to her already feeling foolish.

"Oh. Oh. Ohhh Merlin." She finally spoke. "Gods. You are being serious."

Was he? "Yes. Fuck it. Red, I love you. I have been in love you since the first time we met on the pitch. I have been an absolute fool and I am done playing games. Marry me." Once again not a question a demand, Pansy would say it was because he was a spoiled prat that always believed it was his right to get what he wanted, but really it was because Draco did not want there to be any doubt on who he wanted anymore.

"So you finally have the guts to admit you want me, and instead of I don't know, taking me on a date. You decided to just start with marriage?" She asks incredulous, slumping on her bed in front of him. She wanted to look put out but Draco noticed that the corners of her lips were looking like they wanted to lift into a smile.

"Come on, Red. We have been doing this for so long. We know that sex won't be better with anyone else. We have dealt with each other being sick and struggling. We work. Just because I am not a brave lion and have been running away from the truth for the past year doesn't mean I did not know it." Draco stands to sit next to her and when she doesn't move away from him, or what was more likely with her push him of the bed, he takes her chin in his lifting her face to his. "I love you."

"I know you do you, wanker." She has tears in her face now but her smile is brilliant.

"Well then, marry me. Here, now!"

"What? Have you actually lost your mind?"

"Think about it, Red. Would you prefer your mum being angry at you for eloping of would you prefer to have my mum and your mum make us have a long engagement and take over wedding planning with full tantrums from both of them?"

Red paused for a bit "Oh gods, your mum and mine planing would be horrific! I don't want a large wedding!"

"Exactly. You know what worse than our mums getting together to plan a wedding and fighting about every single point?" Draco paused for dramatic effect. "Our mums getting together and becoming best friends and deciding that everything had to be together."

Red visibly shuddered. "Yeah, that's a no go… but still my friends, my brothers, teammates."

"We can throw a huge party with everyone when we are back and I will promise to throw you a huge party on our anniversary." Draco said hugging her to him. "We will rope in Theo. We will do it tomorrow at his grand Gala celebration tomorrow. You get a nice spa day with the girls and then we spring the surprise on all our friends."

"Not all of them. I need Neville by my side." Red said and Draco had a hard time not rolling his eyes.

"Must it be the Oaf?" he asked sullenly. "Can't it be Potter? At least Potter does not hate me."

"You call Neville the Oaf?" She asked incredulous

"Have you seen him? He has Oaf like qualities," he answered defensively. "So is that a yes on Potter?"

"No. Neville is my best friend. It would have always been him. Really, Luna would be the only one missing but she is with Rolf… somewhere…" Red answered resolutely. "Also, I do not want my ex boyfriend to be standing with me while I get married."

"Fine, but he hates me so it will be hard to convince him. I want Parks and they both don't find out until the last minute." Draco said resolutely.

"Let me get this straight. You want your ex? Why not Theo? Blaise?"

Was she angry that he wanted Pansy by his side or jealous? "Look, Pansy being my ex is only one of the many, many things she has been for me throughout the years. So, yeah, I want her," he said shrugging. "Plus Theo will officialize he got the license two Snake Retreats ago when he though he could get Daphne and Millie to get married."

Red blinked twice slowly absorbing this news. "Well, let me see that ring of yours."

Draco smiled softly and slowly placed his signet ring on her ring finger. It was a little loose on her finger but not by much. "I can reduccio it to fit and when we are back home I'll take you to the vault and you can pick whatever ring you want."

"No. I like this. It's simple, functional and I will be able to wear it when I play," she said with a warm smile. "You can get a shiny tiara, like the one Nev got Pansy for our next outing."

She wanted to wear his ring while she played. Something about that was beyond excellent it was exactly everything he had ever wanted. With no other way to express everything he was feeling, he kissed her hard, wrapping his arms around her enjoying that he was allowed to and he would for the rest of his life.

She responded immediately turning and swiftly moving her body to straddle him. Her cobalt blue cotton summer dress ridding up her powerful thighs, just inviting his long fingers to trail higher on her legs until they were cupping her ass cheeks, pulling her closer to him. The brush of her heated centre made a shudder go through him and he could stop his mouth from uttering, "Mrs. Malfoy, you are truly something."

He knew it was a mistake as soon as his words left his mouth. She froze in place before pushing him hard enough that he found himself laying on the bed. "Not on your life, Ferret.” She stated vehemently.

"But we are getting married. You agreed. You are wearing my ring," he started stammering. Did he miss read the situation? Did she not agree to marry him tomorrow?

"Yes, I am marrying you. Yes, I am wearing you ring. No, I will not be changing my name. You should change yours." She answered stabbing his chest hard with her sharp finger nails.

"Wh-what would I change mine to, woman?" He asked alarmed trying to hold onto anything.

"Weasley. Obviously." She said with a smirk and a happy wiggle that made his confused dick rise further in attention.

"Red. I love you but what you just said is preposterous," he said finally rising to his elbows. "You cannot possibly think I would ever change my name to Weasley. You are mad."

"And what is so wrong with being a Weasley?" She contended still stabbing his chest.

He brazed himself on one elbow and grabbed her had in the other hand. "Come on Red, baby—"

"NOOOO. Don't you dare baby me. You still think Weasley's are less? Dirty, poor, blood traitors?" Red said agitatedly trying to get her hand out of his grip.

"Red, GIN!" He said finally sitting all the way up pulling her close to him and kissing her thoroughly. "I only meant that I have made a name for myself as Malfoy of the Falcons. I couldn't possibly switch now."

"Hmmmpff." The kiss had manged to slow her rage spiral but she was clearly still unhappy. "But I am supposed to change my name, when I am one of just got named Best Chaser in the league last season?"

"Right. Well I guess we will keep our last names and give my mother another reason to have a heart attack," Draco smirked. "Now can I please do some debouching before I make an honest woman out of you tomorrow?"

Chapter Text

Neville wasn’t sure what he had expected of the male bonding day; strippers?  With Theo in charge, the possibilities were both endless and terrifying. It was then a pleasant surprise to find out that the activity for the day was a long hike to the overlooking cliffs.

It had been a nice day with friendly ribbing and humorous conversation. He got an earful, again, from Greg, who still hadn't heard who his partner would be and had threatened physical harm if he ended up with someone like Warrington. While at the beginning of their partnership, it had been hard to even imagine that they would be able to get along, let alone be friends. Greg had become someone invaluable in his life. He had a way of steadying and making things look simple. While Neville got in his head about most things, Greg saw a way through. Neville already knew that he would miss his daily talks with him.

He also had a chance to speak with Blaise, something he hadn’t gotten to do in a while due to his very busy and important career as a wine maker. It had been interesting to hear which women had earned a spot in his pantheon of muses and why. His Franciacorta was very clearly called Signora Madre for his mother. Daphne was also one of the honoured with a crisp Friulano white wine called Alloro. His full bodied barollo was aged in whisky oak caskets imported from Scotland was named Ferrea Donna for Minerva McGonagoll. It was still rather embarrassing that he hadn't clocked in that the pinot noir called Viola del Pensiero was Pansy

He had attempted more than once to talk to Nott but the man was slippery. Finally, once at the top of the cliff where the elves had set up a picnic for them; even though Neville had never been in such an extravagant setting with such extravagant food and drink, he spotted Nott speaking with Greg. He approached them slowly, and when Nott tried to walk away, Greg held him in place by the sleeve

“Nott, a word?” Neville spoke calmly, if a bit firmer than maybe the situation would have called for.

“He is all yours,” Greg said, clapping the other man on his shoulder and walking away, leaving Neville and Theo alone over looking the cliffs.

"Longbottom! What a pleasure!" Nott said, immediately demeanour jovial and carefree, and if Neville hadn't seen fear flash in his eyes when he approached the man, he might even believe it. "Parks did good picking you, a magnificent addition to Snake retreat. A true shame we haven't been able to catch up."

"Yes, a shame. Couldn't possibly be because you have been walking away from me at every opportunity?" Neville said with a lopsided smirk.

"Are you insinuating I have been avoiding you, Longbottom?" Theo said in a mock-insulted tone. "Because I absolutely have and I am honestly not ready to have this conversation near a cliff you can push me off from."

That pulled a deep chuckle from Neville. "We can move away from the cliff if you'd prefer. I am not interested in murdering or maiming you if that makes you feel better." Theo arched an eyebrow and Neville once again wondered if it was a secret class all snakes had to attend. "Honestly, Nott, I wanted to first thank you for helping to get Dennis out of that trouble Pucey got him in a few months ago."

"Oh." That had caught the other man off kilter. "You're welcome. Pucey is a douchbag, and Dennis didn't deserve it."

"Still, it was very decent and I am thankful," Neville spoke evenly. "Now for the second part, you drugged me with draught of the living dead and I am not sure if you gave me the two dosages of Veritaserum but I do know it was you who provided it."

"Look, Longbottom, about that. I owed Peter. He –" Theo started to speak but Neville caught him off quickly.

"Honestly, Nott, I am not interested on reasoning or the excuse. We both know that beyond a small scratch, I left that evening on better ground than I probably would have if it had just been a dinner."

"Ohhhh, absolutely, I don't know what you did to Priscilla or more accurately what Pucey did for her but she would have forced you to leave Pansy alone and ruined whatever machinations Pansy has for you," Theo said with a sad grin.

"Anyway, the thing is that I know that the supply cupboard at work is missing exactly those dosages. I am sure that you have some way to hide it from the department in the same way you got us all here. However, I am also pretty sure Harry does not know you stole potions from the department to drug one of his friends so that he would participate in a magic binding archaic pure blood courting trial. I am also sure he would not like it if he did find out." Neville said subtly invading the other mans space.

"Longbottom…. you wouldn't, Harry doesn't get it. He wasn't raised with these traditions. My relationship with Petey… it… Well, it is all very complicated." Theo started looking more and more pale as he went.

"Look, Nott," Neville said, smiling, putting an arm around the other man's shoulder, holding him a bit harder than needed. "As I said, I am not really interested in the reasoning and Pansy loves you for some reason, so I have no interest in actually harming you. It has come to my attention how utterly useful you are and so I think you owe me two favours."

"Two favours," Nott repeated slowly.

"Yes. Whatever I need to be called when I need them," Neville stated tone brokering no argument.

"Hanging out with Pansy has made the Slytherin rub off on you. Was she the one who gave you the idea?" Nott asked.

"No, and she doesn't know you are involved. I figured you'd prefer it that way. So do we have a deal?"

"Yeah okay. Two favours. You go it."

They shook hands in time for Harry to join them. "Should I be worried about you two being cozied up with this fantastic view?"

"Darling!" Nott immediately sprung up throwing his arms around Harry's shoulders. "Longbottom was just agreeing to come visit. You know I am going to miss staring at his ass. Especially if Parks does get her hands on his wardrobe. The sight of him in those robes at the ministry gala still live rent free in my mind."

Both Harry and Neville rolled their eyes but smiled genuinely as they made their way to the tables laden with food. The conversation was as good as the meal. Neville had time to reflect on the fact that while he had thought this trip would be an utter chore with the added benefit of getting to spend more time with Pansy, it turned out to be not only pleasant but exactly what he needed before heading to Scotland next week. A move he had not wanted to think much about but was starting to face.

As they made their way down, he had time to consider all that was about to change next week. He had already found a nice cottage in Hogsmeade not wanting to live in the castle if he didn't have to. It was a three bedroom cottage and he had been considering asking Pansy for her help decorating and setting it up. He hoped, she might be able to make it feel like home. Like… well, that part didn't matter. He had to just stay the course and hope that things continue going as well as they had been.

"Longbottom, a word?" The aristocratic voice of none other but Draco Malfoy broke through his revelry.

"How can I help you, Malfoy?" Neville practically gritted out.

"Now that we aren't over cliffs and you seem to not have killed Theo even though we both know he drugged you," Malfoy started.

"I know nothing about that," Neville responded quickly and resoundingly.

"Sure you don't. Either way it looks like you might not maim me when I tell you Ginny and I are together," Malfoy stated as if this was a big revelation.

"Okay?" Neville answered confused. "Are you telling everyone? Do you require a personal congratulations?"

"No, you Oaf!" Malfoy said, sounding rather more put out than Neville thought was reasonable for a conversation the other man had started.

"Malfoy, what exactly do you want from me?" Of all the things he wanted to be doing, talking with Draco Malfoy did not hit the top fifty.

Malfoy for his part looked as perplexed as Neville felt. "Just this is your chance for you to tell me how you think I am not enough for Ginny and that you will feed me to one of your plants if I mess with her."

"Malfoy, as much as I love Gin, she is a fully grown woman who can hex faster and meaner than several of the aurors in the force currently. Not to mention that she has five brothers who are more than happy to completely destroy you if you ever make her cry," Neville smirked. "Me and my man eating plants would not be needed."

Malfoy looked at him slowly. "I don't get it. If it isn't that I am dating your best mate, what is it that I did that has made you hate me? Please tell me this isn't about that damn picnic when we were 11."

Maybe if Malfoy didn't sound so defeated; maybe if he hadn't thrown that damn picnic in his face, Neville would have left him to sweat. "You have mistreated Pansy every single moment of your friendship. You claim to be her best friend but you have belittled, abused, blamed her for your short comings and cheated on her. To the point that she has convinced herself that no one decent could ever truly love her."

Neville saw the information land on the other man slowly. It didn't make him happy, but at the minimum he felt some relief. These snakes, he knew, had grown differently playing games all the time, with everyone, and each other. Pansy, he knew, was not innocent, but Pansy… Pansy was the one holding back. All her friends were here with someone. Even this prat. They were making a life and moving forwards.

Pansy worked. If her parents hadn't threatened her, Neville was certain she would have stayed in her underground office and not come out unless absolutely necessary. She would have been happy to be dragged by her snakes and parents. Happy to be moved aside when no longer needed. The worst offender was this man. Who up to last night was too coward to actually go for the woman he surely loved. A woman who Neville knew was one of the best of the out there. It made Neville's blood boil.

"That's not true," Malfoy remarked weakly.

"It isn't?" Neville asked sardonically. "You didn't decide to blame her for your losing a quidditch game instead of actually owning up to your mistakes?"

"Well, that was different… you see…" Malfoy tried.

"And when you dated in Hogwarts you were fateful?" Neville continued his barrage.

"Look, Hogwarts was hard. It was war." Malfoy came back.

"It was war for everyone. Yeah, I know your history but you know mine and you know hers. We all had it bad," Neville spat back. "Nothing, nothing, excuses your treatment of her when she thought she loved you. She was young and innocent; and your treatment of her made her calloused and jaded."

Malfoy swallowed hard. "Look, Malfoy, if you actually want me to stop hating you. Talk to her. Apologize. Tell her she deserves better. Tell her she deserves love. She won't hear it from me, maybe she will believe you."