Chapter Text
Sigh
The night-time rush has long died down, leaving Seonghwa with nothing but the fan whirring to fill the now empty convenience store. Even though it’s late August, the weather has still been much too hot for everyone’s liking. Though that’s not Seonghwa’s concern as of now.
He looks down at his phone on the counter in front of him.
12:13am
There’s still an hour and forty-seven minutes of his shift for the night. While he’s grateful for this job and how relatively easy it is, he can’t help but be victimized by boredom after the late night rush of hagwon students disperse. Normally he would take the opportunity to finish up any assignments he has due soon, but he’s still on break for another week or two. So for now, he sits and counts the seconds that pass.
Although, for the past few months, there has been a customer who will come in at the start of Seonghwa’s shift, and again nearing the end. The customer can’t be much older than Seonghwa himself, if anything, he might be the same age or younger. His features, from what he can see above the face mask he always adorns, are rather youthful and appear wrinkle-free. Unlike many of the other customers who come in this late at night, this one is always very polite and treats Seonghwa like a person when he discovers the coffee machine needs to be refilled.
Looking down at his phone again, Seonghwa sighs and turns around on his stool. Only five minutes have passed…
Behind him, he hears the familiar ringing of the bell above the door sound. Seonghwa turns around to greet the incoming customer and smiles when he realizes who it is. The beloved customer bows his head in response and beelines to the coffee section as per usual. Seonghwa had just refilled the canisters inside the machine not too long ago, as an angry, older business man had practically wrung his neck for the cappuccino canister being almost empty. This was, unfortunately, a normal occurrence with this job. Seonghwa doesn’t want to say he’s used to being disrespected by people probably ten to fifteen years older than him, but he won’t deny that either. The job pays well enough to push past the verbal abuse from complete strangers.
Small footsteps sound throughout the store, echoing in the otherwise vacant store. Seonghwa always finds this customer rather endearing for a multitude of reasons. Whenever he is searching for a certain product that they’re out of stock for the night, he never yells at Seonghwa for it. He almost seems like the type to avoid conflict, which bodes well in Seonghwa’s favor. There’s other reasons too, though. The customer always hums a little tune to himself, sometimes one Seonghwa can recognize from the radio he sometimes has playing to fill the silence, or other times it’s a tune he has never heard before. Just as well, the customer overall seems like a person Seonghwa could get along with, and itches at him to get to know him better. That would be strange, though, right?
In the midst of his self-doubting thoughts, the customer stands at the counter for a few seconds before Seonghwa snaps out of it and apologizes, “Ah, sorry, I was zoned out… Is this everything?”
The customer nods and pulls his card out in preparation to pay. Tonight, two cups of coffee and a handful of varying snacks. Huh, that’s strange… Seonghwa thinks to himself.
“Thank you!” The customer bows his head and scurries out the store as he usually does.
Seonghwa watches as the light brown, fluffy mop of hair vanishes outside beyond the convenience store, and he wonders to himself. Normally the customer only purchases one cup of coffee and maybe a bag of chips. Even when he ventures down earlier in the evening. Never has it been more than two items, but tonight was easily almost ten things. Perhaps he’s studying with a group of friends? Seonghwa shakes the thought away, why is he bothering thinking about what a customer is doing this late at night, anyway. It’s not like he knows him after all.
Needless to say, the rest of his shift drags by, but eventually the angel that is Miyeon clocks in at 1:58am to free him from the shackles of capitalism. He fills his coworker in on how it’s been, what needs to be done, etcetera, etcetera. She waves bye as Seonghwa hastily makes his way out of the store, yearning to melt into his bed once he arrives home.
Although it’s well into the night, on a weekday as well, there are still plenty of people out and about as if it is barely past dusk. There’s something comforting to Seonghwa about that, though. To know he is not the only one who is awake this late into the night, even though it feels like he is when his store is completely empty sometimes.
As he’s walking his usual route, he passes all the same familiar buildings he sees every night. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except, as he’s passing the one building that piques his interest every time, he notices a familiar mop of dark brown hair, and the same grey hoodie and black sweatpants that was in his store not too long ago. Seonghwa looks up at the name on the building, KQ , and back down towards the sidewalk. There’s other people in front of the building as well, all young-looking. Remembering the knowledge he gained after his first time he walked past the building, many moons ago, Seonghwa finally puts two and two together. Is he an… idol?
Later when he finally arrives home, he searches up the company name and sees several articles load onto his phone screen, but one in particular catches his attention.
KQ Entertainment to debut NEW Boy Group
KQ Entertainment has announced they will be debuting a new boy group in the fourth quarter of this year. The identities of the members have yet to be revealed, but online netizens look forward to knowing more about the prospective group. The debut will…
Seonghwa clicks on the link to further continue reading the article. This one was released a month or two ago, which means the group must be close to debuting now. He exits out of the article and scrolls to see a more recent one. After clicking on it, Seonghwa is faced with images of the members, whose identities have been known to the world for a few weeks now. How has he not heard anything about this? Especially considering how close he works to the entertainment company…
As he’s scrolling through the article, the name ATZ pops up a few times, written in English. Among the photos, one member stands out in particular. He recognizes the soft, mellow eyes he sees every time his favorite customer walks through the entrance. Even in these photos, which are most likely company identification photos, Seonghwa can still see the mellowness behind his eyes.Even in professional photos, he still seems like a kind soul. Wow… So he will be an idol…
Satisfied with the answers he has received, Seonghwa finally settles in for the night and attempts to close his eyes for the night. It’s already past three in the morning, somehow. Tomorrow, technically today, is his day off, and as of now, nothing is planned so he dreams to sleep in as late as possible. As he drifts off to sleep, the image he saw earlier of his favorite customer takes root in the back of his mind.
—
The following weeks pass as uneventful as possible. No new excitement added to Seonghwa’s life, except for the start of a new semester at university, but that’s not as thrilling as, say, going on a vacation, which he should’ve done while he was on break. Days pass, attending class, doing homework, clocking in for work, going home, and repeat. Seriously, the monotony of it all has Seonghwa itching for any sort of excitement to happen. His coworkers will come in raving of all the fun and exciting adventures they go on. Either alone, with their partners, friends and or family members. Every time, Seonghwa nods his head physically, but internally he is banging his head against a metaphorical wall. There’s no one to fault except for himself for the result of his boring life.
Bringing him out from his thoughts, the bell above the door for his store rings as it always does, another monotonous constant in Seonghwa’s life. In walks a couple of young men, but Seonghwa instantly recognizes the last one to waltz in and smiles internally. Ever since discovering who the young customer that he adores is, he has not treated him any differently, but he does feel a small rush of adrenaline course through his veins now knowing who he is. Though, the thought of the possibility of befriending the customer seems almost completely out the window now.
In the store now are the future members of ATZ, and Seonghwa attempts to keep himself from staring. He has never been one to be a fan of mainstream k-pop, but something about the promise this group holds adds the small bit of excitement he has been craving. He even learned all seven members' names, and can recognize them in the teasers that have slowly been dropping since he first found out of their existence. One of their dance covers went viral among online netizens, and even Seonghwa found himself captivated after one watch. Now, on the shifts that he works, he will see the leader, who he has learned is named Hongjoong , and sometimes a couple of the other members, come into the store late at night.
Seonghwa watches as the soon-to-be idols bounce around the convenience store with more energy than most of the other customers who come in this late have. After a few moments of pondering their decisions in the plenty of isles, the small group wanders towards the register, still chattering amongst themselves. They all place their items upon the counter for Seonghwa to ring out.
One thing he has noticed that is different about tonight is their hairstyles. Even though his last shift was two days prior, Hongjoong’s hair appears to be bleached lighter and styled more than usual. He wonders if they must be nearing their debut already. Every article he has been keeping up with has yet to announce a debut date.
“Oh, did you do something different to your hair?” Seonghwa asks as he rings up their items. He next to never says anything to the customers he helps, even if it’s on a daily basis, like Hongjoong. But something felt different this time.
Despite wearing a mask, Seonghwa can tell his question catches Hongjoong off guard as the tips of his ears redden underneath his long hair. “Ah, yeah… My friends and I wanted to change some things up.”
“It looks good, I think it suits you.” Seonghwa responds, smiling at the young man in front of him.
Hongjoong simply nods and pays for everything. While all the other members are already filing out the exit, the leader stays back for a moment.
“I’m Hongjoong, by the way,” he turns around to face Seonghwa again, “I figure I’d introduce myself more properly, since I’ve been coming in for a while…”
Ah… He’s so sweet…
Seonghwa bows his head in return, “I’m Seonghwa, I hope you keep coming around.”
The leader stands there for a moment, a smile evident even beneath his mask. He nods his head and waves goodbye, catching up with his members outside the convenience store.
Once he’s sure he’s gone from the storefront for good, and there’s no other customers inside, Seonghwa giggles to himself and does a small dance for himself behind the counter. His small bubble around himself is popped when the bell above the door rings once again, and a different customer walks through the entrance.
The rest of his shift goes by, becoming busy when the hagwon students are released, and then dying down half an hour later. As he’s nearing the end of his shift, Hoongjoong presents himself one more time like he usually does. This time, it’s just him, but without a mask on. Seonghwa tries to keep a calm expression as he greets him, but he’s shocked by the young man’s appearance. His hair is styled the same, but this time he has a full face of makeup, and an extravagant smokey eye. Completely unlike how he has seen Hongjoong any other time. He waves, offering a smile to Seonghwa, and makes his way back to the coffee section as he normally does at this time.
Once he finishes preparing his cup of coffee, and grabbing a singular snack, presumably for only himself, Hongjoong makes his way up to the register. It’s evident that he’s nervous for some reason, as Seonghwa notices his hands tremble when he goes to retrieve his card to pay. How cute…
“Your makeup looks,” they look up at the same time, locking eyes, “amazing, Hongjoong-ssi.”
This time, with no mask, but a nice layer of foundation and powder, Seonghwa can see a blush form on the young man’s cheeks. “Ah-ah, thank you… I had a photoshoot earlier, and didn’t get a chance to remove it yet.”
Hongjoong doesn’t keep eye-contact for long, bashfully looking away, bringing a hand to scratch the back of his head out of awkwardness. The interaction ends when Hongjoong grabs his bag off the counter and takes the receipt from Seonghwa. Headed towards the exit, the blush has spread from the young man’s face to his ears again and Seonghwa’s heart skips for a moment. That hasn’t happened in a long while , he thinks to himself.
In the span of five hours, Seonghwa has finally properly learned his favorite customers’ name, saw his face for the first time in person, and made him blush twice . Normally, he wouldn’t care about having to go into work, and today he almost called out, but thank god he didn’t.
As he’s walking away from the convenience store, approaching the building that houses the highly anticipated boy group ATZ , Seonghwa notices a lone body leaning against the wall of the building. The owner of the body turns towards Seonghwa once he steps onto the curb of the next block. Of course it’s none other than Hongjoong. This time, he adorns his usual mask, makeup seemingly removed, and sporting the same comfortable clothes he saw him in an hour ago.
“Do you always work this late, Seonghwa-ssi?” Hongjoong asks first once they’re close enough to each other.
“Yeah, I’ve been working the same shift since I got hired, it works best with my schedule.” He answers, “Do you always work this late Hongjoong-ssi?”
The young man pauses for a moment, looking away to ponder more thoroughly. “Usually. Sometimes later, sometimes earlier, depending on how practice, and lessons go on for.”
The way he mentions his activities is as if Seonghwa already knows his occupation and it isn’t a big deal to reveal he’s the leader for the country's most anticipated boy group. Part of it shocks him, but also intrigues him, yearning to know more, which Hongjoong gladly indulges him in, just not at this moment.
There’s an awkward moment of silence, the two standing hardly far apart from one another, still in front of the KQ building, basking in the late city lighting.
“Did you know who I was before today?”
Seonghwa turns to look at the young man, and nods, “Yeah, I did.”
“But you never said anything? Never asked for an autograph, or a picture?” Hongjoong mentions those like it’s something he experiences daily, something bewildering to Seonghwa considering his group hasn’t even debuted yet.
“Well, I knew you first as the customer who always came in at least two times during my shifts,” Seonghwa admits, “I only found out who you were when curiosity got the best of me and I looked up more about this building. I always found it interesting how this is the only one that has people leaving at two in the morning.”
He notices a small grin spread across Hongjoong’s face, but it’s so subtle any passerby could easily miss it. Each interaction they have keeps resulting in Seonghwa’s heart skipping a beat, surely that’s not healthy.
“Ah, I see… Thank you, then, Seonghwa-ssi, I appreciate it. A-and sorry for coming in so often, I’m a caffeine addict unfortunately.”
“There’s no need to be so formal, I believe we are the same age afterall, Hongjoong ,” he watches as the young man widens his eyes for a brief moment, “and if anything, thank you for keeping me brief moments of company in the dead of the night while I work.”
It’s a rather peaceful night, actually. The late September weather offering a cool breeze through Seonghwa’s locks, almost sending a shiver to his bones. Hongjoong has a hoodie and sweatpants, meanwhile Seonghwa only has his work uniform, a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and the blue vest they make him wear. He envies the other man’s coziness for a brief moment.
“Um,” Hongjoong breaks the silence, “We’re having our debut showcase in a month, and, I don’t know… Maybe it’s a bit much, but I wanted to offer you a ticket, Seonghwa ?”
Now it’s his turn to be shocked, “Oh, oh my, really? Aren’t those usually reserved for friends and family, though? We only really just met…”
He doesn’t want to seem ungrateful, really, but he truly is shocked. Shouldn’t he give his tickets for the event to someone he’s much closer to? Seonghwa, of all people?
“So, the thing is, I don’t really have anyone else besides my parents and brother to attend, and my members…” he motions behind him towards the building “I always talk about the store clerk and… I just figured, you’ve always been so nice to me despite knowing who I am, and for getting me through my late nights.”
He talks about me???
“Ah, maybe you’re right, it’s a bit ridiculous isn’t it? It’s okay, I just figured I would ask.” Seonghwa hasn’t even given an answer and Hongjoong already seems to be defeated, starting to turn away from the conversation.
“No!” he shouts, rather too loudly, startling them both. “Sorry, I mean, no, it’s not ridiculous, I just–I didn’t want to take one away from someone more… prominent, I suppose, in your life. I would love to attend your debut showcase, Hongjoong.”
It’s almost as if a light reignites within Hongjoong, and his attitude does a whole 180 °. There’s a bigger smile this time, practically reaching the corners of his eyes. He ducks his head out of reflex and Seonghwa finds it adorable. Even though Hongjoong is technically the leader of the fierce group, ATZ , Seonghwa mainly knows him as the shy, polite young man who comes in twice a night to get coffee because of his unhealthy caffeine addiction.
Hongjoong reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone, fiddling with it for a moment before he politely hands it to Seonghwa, “Could I possibly have your contact information then? So I can forward you the ticket information?”
Seonghwa takes the phone into his hands and adds in his information, making sure to include the convenience store emoji next to his name. When he hands the phone back to Hongjoong, he notices the giggle that escapes him once he notices said emoji.
“I’ll make sure to forward you the information as soon as possible.” He smiles, pocketing his phone.
“You can always contact me other times too–if you want to, I mean.” Seonghwa had tried to make that sound as smooth as possible, but his skills are a bit rusty. Though, it must’ve had some sort of effect on the man as he turned to duck his head again, another blush dusting the apples of his cheeks tonight. Hongjoong manages to nod, a smile not leaving his face once more.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he looks around for a moment, noticing how empty the streets suddenly are, “Oh–oh my I didn’t mean to keep you out so late, you should probably go and get some rest!”
Seonghwa pulls his phone out, eyes widening. It is almost four in the morning, somehow. It hadn’t even felt like they were talking for that long. He takes Hongjoong up on that offer and they part ways, saying goodnight to one another. While Seonghwa is heading home to sleep, he imagines Hongjoong will probably be awake for a while longer, especially if they’re preparing for their debut showcase this quickly.
Once he reaches home, Seonghwa feels the vibration from his phone.
Unknown Number
It’s Hongjoong :)
I hope you sleep well, Seonghwa!
The message brings a smile to Seonghwa’s face this time.
—
It is barely past dusk, the sun already set far below the horizon. The early October air is beginning to bring a chill throughout Seoul, but not cold enough where everyone has to start donning their winter coats. Outside Seonghwa’s bedroom window, he can make out the last few leaves on a tree attempting to break free in the nighttime breeze. Fall had approached more quickly than he had anticipated. Though, that doesn’t mean much except for the fact that it means ATZ will be making their debut in the next week. It had barely been two months since Seonghwa had made the connection between his favorite customer, and the group of trainees outside the KQ building, but it barely feels like that long.
Hongjoong took up Seonghwa’s offer of contacting him besides sending over the ticket information for the debut showcase, and one of those times is tonight. Seonghwa is stressing over an open textbook, hardly retaining any of the words his eyes are scanning over. It’s been like this the whole night. Normally he would have no issue while studying, but it’s almost as if something is stuck in the back of his mind preventing him from completing his goal tonight.
As if on queue, to provide a break from this torture, Seonghwa’s phone dings from the other side of his room. He had left it on his bed, behind him, to prevent him from becoming any further distracted; however, that did not help all that much in the end.
Getting up and padding over to his bed, Seonghwa stretches his arms above his head. You would think that working on your feet all day would help promote a more healthier posture, but it evidently does not . Unfortunately he still slouches terribly. even while sitting, especially while sitting. He grabs at his phone and skims through to find the notification that caused the ding . Once he sees it, he furrows his brows.
Hongjoong
Is everything okay?
He frowns as he begins to type a response back
Seonghwa
Yes…?
At least I believe so
Why?
Seonghwa waddles back over to his desk, his socked feet slipping slightly on the smooth hardwood floor of his bedroom.
Hongjoong
You’re not working :<
I thought you might have been sick
Since you usually work Tuesday nights
Heat rises from his chest up to his face, a blush beginning to creep across the apples of his cheeks. While any other person would find it concerning that a customer remembered an employee’s schedule, the relationship Hongjoong and Seonghwa have had graduated from that stage already. They don’t text everyday but it is common for them to text often. Whether it’s Seonghwa letting Hongjoong know about new snacks they’re stocking in the store, or Hongjoong sending Seonghwa a bare-face selfie from either his studio or the practice room. Seonghwa finds joy in it, especially when he is working and his shift drags by.
Seonghwa
Ah, I called out today
I have a midterm tomorrow afternoon and wanted to rest well
He immediately sees the bubble pop up, indicating that Hongjoong is typing a reply. One thing Seonghwa has noticed is that despite having so much on his plate, Hongjoong always responds to him at the speed of light. Maybe he took classes on it. You know, since he is the leader and has to be reachable at all times.
Hongjoong
You’re in university? Wow! How cool!
Oh, but I probably shouldn’t be bothering you then, sorry!!!
Seonghwa
No! It’s okay!
Honestly, I’ve been studying for far too long and need a break anyway.
How’s your night going?
They fall into a comfortable conversation, Hongjoong revealing a new mirror selfie taken from his practice room. In the background you can see a few of the other ATZ members, all looking like they had finished a dance routine. Seonghwa can tell how hard they all work, and he applauds them. He could never have the stamina to dance for hours straight, and all while singing as well. Sometimes he gets winded from climbing the steps to his second floor apartment.
Suddenly, his phone starts vibrating and ringing in the palm of his hand, the entire screen displaying his face suddenly and Hongjoong’s contact name. His eyes widen and he jumps out of his chair in shock. They haven’t talked on the phone yet, so this takes him by a true surprise. Though, under further inspection, Seonghwa notices that it’s not just a regular phone call—Hongjoong is video -calling him. He quickly adjusts his hair using his phone and accepts the video-call.
“Hello…?” His voice waivers a bit, still entirely caught off guard.
He sees Hongjoong on the screen, hair slicked back with sweat, and droplets traveling down his temples. Wow…
The leader doesn’t say anything, but sticks his index finger to his pursed lips and then lowers the phone to the ground, walking away from it. Seonghwa is still entirely confused by this whole ordeal, but another shock is brought to his system when music starts blaring through his speaker. He can’t tell where Hongjoong placed his phone, probably in the corner of the room, but Seonghwa can see the leader, and some of the other ATZ members in front of the full-wall mirror of their practice room. He doesn’t recognize the song that’s playing, though.
In a matter of seconds, the members take their positions and begin dancing along to the music that’s blaring. They all move rhythmically to the song, nailing every beat perfectly. Seonghwa watches in awe as he realizes this must be one of the songs that will be on their debut album. He keeps himself quiet to not reveal himself, even though he doubts he’d be heard anyway. The entire time, his eyes are glued to the screen, watching Hongjoong and the other members bounce around the room in perfect synchrony. They only dance to a snippet of the song, probably the chorus, and then suddenly everyone is cheering and clapping. Seonghwa can hear someone, the choreographer, maybe, congratulate them and announce the end of practice. Hongjoong jogs back over to his phone, a smile plastered on his face the entire way over.
Seonghwa expects him to hang up there, but it seems as though he was stuffed in the leader’s pockets as his screen went dark but he can still hear faint noise. After a long couple of minutes, he sees Hongjong's face again, but in different lighting, and presumably an entirely different room. Based on the background, Seonghwa can recognize this as his studio.
“Hongjoong what the hell was that?” he asks, still entirely shocked from the whole ordeal. The other man lets out a chuckle and wipes the sweat from his face.
“Did you like it?”
“Of course I did! But won’t you get in trouble?” Seonghwa has so many questions on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm Hongjoong. “Was that the title track?”
“Ah, I don’t think I’ll get in trouble, besides it’s not like I was recording . And yeah, it was the last chorus of Pirate King .” The entire time, Hongjoong is smiling, never losing eye contact with Seonghwa through the screen. His skin is glistening from sweat, and his chest still heaving from the dance practice that only ended mere moments ago. Seonghwa never thought he’d see Idol Hongjoong this close up.
There’s a knock on the door behind Hongjoong and he shouts “ It’s open” to whomever it may be. Seonghwa can see slightly over the leader’s office chair and recognizes the person who walks in as Wooyoung , another member of ATZ.
“Oh hyung—wait who’s that?” he asks, pointing at the phone, noticing Seonghwa. “Is that who you’ve been texting so much? Wah, hyung, he’s hand–”
In an instant, Hongjoong hops out of his chair and is pushing Wooyoung out of the studio room, ignoring any questions flying out his mouth. Seonghwa can’t make out much that the other is saying as Hongjoong is attempting to muffle him with his hand. Wooyoung puts up a fight, but ultimately is shoved out of the room and Hongjoong slams the door shut, locking it, but barricading it with his body as an extra caution. Seonghwa giggles throughout the whole ordeal, finding it oddly charming.
“Sorry about that, Wooyoung can be… Anyway, so you really liked the song?” Hongjoong makes his way back over to his desk, scooting closer in his office chair. He seems almost nervous asking him again. There’s no reason for him to be though, not when Seonghwa has always offered and shown as much support as he possibly can.
“ Yes , it sounds amazing Hoongjoong! I can’t wait to hear the whole thing next week.” The leader bashfully looks down and scratches at the back of his head, just like he did after their encounter all those weeks ago.
Sometimes Seonghwa still finds everything beyond surreal. If you had told him when he got hired earlier in the year that he would eventually befriend a soon-to-be idol, he would laugh at that statement, even more so if you explained how he would befriend the man. Nonetheless, Seonghwa wouldn’t trade this friendship for anything. While it is still new, they get along as though they have known each other for years. It’s easy talking to him, always finding a topic to segue into seamlessly. Just like tonight.
At some point, though, Seonghwa abandons his studying-ship and crawls into his bed, still chatting on video-call. Surely hours have passed, leading well into the next day already, and Seonghwa begins to feel his lids drag downwards on their own accord. If Hongjoong notices, he doesn’t say anything, saving Seonghwa from embarrassment. His eyes are fully closed at this point, but he still listens as Hongjoong carries on about how he doesn’t think cereal could technically be classified as a soup.
That was the last thing he remembers hearing when he wakes up in the morning—some hours later—alarm sounding right near his head. Trying to recall his night, he cringes as he realizes he must have fallen asleep on-call with Hongjoong. Oh you fool, he probably thought you were bored.
Finally silencing the alarm, Seonghwa sees all the notifications on his screen, including a text from Hongjoong. A smile slowly grows on his face, and a warm feeling spreads throughout his chest.
Hongjoong
Sleep well, Seonghwa-ya~
Good luck on your exam! Fighting!!!
—
Lacing up his go-to “night out” boots, Seonghwa begins to second guess his outfit for the showcase later in the afternoon. He takes another look in the mirror and smooths the wrinkles in his shirt with his hands. It’s not even a crazy outfit, it is probably the most basic clothes he owns: a cream colored button-down with dark grey vertical stripes, a pair of slightly distressed black skinny jeans, and black combat boots. Very basic. Surely there’s a handful of others that will be wearing the same thing as him. He really cannot rationalize why he’s stressing. Could it be that he wants Hongjoong to have a good impression of him? Nonsense. It’s not like this is the first time they’ll be “meeting” outside of Seonghwa’s work—except it is . Though, what is the likelihood that Hongjoong can even spot Seonghwa in the crowd? Surely it’ll be too dark to see him, wherever his seat may be. Maybe he should change—
Ding
Seonghwa is ripped away mid-thought to the sound of his phone going off. He pulls it out of his pocket, and of course it’s from the one-and-only Kim Hongjoong himself.
Hongjoong
Seonghwa-ya! I just wanted to let you know, you’ll be able to come backstage after the showcase
If you want to, of course!
I can’t wait to spot you in the crowd (´^ω^)~
Oh.
Oh…
Seonghwa feels nauseous. A cold sweat coursing through his veins suddenly. He looks up from his phone and into the mirror again. This outfit is not going to work, but he has absolutely no time. He has to leave in thirty minutes to get there in time as the doors open in one hour. To add on top of the panic, he now realizes he will be going backstage—if he wants to—empty handed. Oh, this has got to be the worst thing to happen to him in the history of—his whole life. This whole day had him trembling with sheer amounts of stress, and now it is undoubtedly worse, but absolutely not because of Hongjoong. No, it’s all because of Seonghwa and his unreasonable anxiety in situations like this. He takes another look in the mirror and inhales deeply. Everything will be fine .
He forces himself out of his apartment door in the next five minutes, otherwise he would have never left in time.Though, before leaving, he makes sure to don his face mask, just in case. He doesn’t want to cause any speculations on ATZ’s big day. It’s only a ten minute walk and a five minute subway ride in total, but now he has to stop and pick something up on the way. Thankfully, there’s only a million and one shops on his way to the subway station. Perhaps a bouquet of flowers? Yeah, that would be nice. Actually, would he be allowed into the venue with those? Oh no , he didn’t even have a chance to see what he could bring. He pulls out his phone to search for an answer, and realizes he hasn’t even responded to Hongjoong—goodness what is going on with him today.
A quick search result tells him absolutely nothing. Well, now what? He ponders for a moment about just asking Hongjoong, but he doesn’t want to spoil the surprise. Seonghwa unfortunately spots the flower shop only a couple stores away from his spot on the sidewalk. Well, if anything, he will buy the flowers, and if he cannot enter with them, he will just have to trash them. Hopefully that isn’t the situation, though.
He enters the shop, not a single clue about what kind of flowers he should even bundle in a situation like this. His mother was always the one who bought flowers for special occasions, maybe he could call—
“Excuse me, do you need any assistance?” An employee startles him out of his train of thought.
“Ah, yes, please.” Seonghwa responds, “My friend has a performance tonight, and I want to gift him flowers, but I’m not sure what kind…”
The flower shop employee guides him through the different kinds of flowers he can put together that will all share a similar meaning. He accepts her advice and she plucks a few of each kind, taking them to the register area towards the back of the shop. Seonghwa is sure that Hongjoong isn’t a secret botanist in his freetime, so he doesn’t stress too much about the significance of the flowers, but he does stress that Hongjoong won’t be too freaked out over a flower bouquet. Oh, no, maybe he should have just gotten a card instead… That would have been much more simple, and less pressure on either of them if he didn’t like it. You can’t exactly just throw flowers away; anyone could see them in the trash and think—
“Here you go, sir.” The employee hands over a small bouquet of very vibrant, and beautiful flowers to Seonghwa. He pays for them and thanks the employee once more before finally making his way to the subway station.
Looking down at the bouquet of flowers, now seated on the subway, does Seonghwa truly admire the beauty of the flowers in his hold. They’re a variety of colors, but mainly red, including the classic red rose. The employee had explained each flower to Seonghwa, but to be quite frank, he was entirely too anxious to properly retain the information. All he can recognize in the bouquet are the red roses, but it is still beautiful none the less. His bubble bursts, though, when he realizes he still has never answered Hongjoong back, oh no.
Seonghwa
I would love to meet you backstage, Hongjoong-ah!
I’m on my way now! Should be there in ten minutes~
Do I have to go somewhere special to get in?
He rests his phone on his lap, not expecting Hongjoong to answer right away, but he does anyway. Seonghwa doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to how quick he responds sometimes.
Hongjoong
Yay!
And there should be a side entrance, like where the artists go in.
I believe staff will let you in there!
If anything they will just ask for your ID, but you’re definitely on the list~
Seonghwa
Got it! I’ll be on the lookout!
Seonghwa arrives at the concert hall at once and is utterly shocked by the crowd present outside. There’s upwards of hundreds of fans, a number Seonghwa is struggling to fathom. He wonders for a brief moment if Hongjoong knows how many people are anticipating their debut. Quickly, he pulls out his phone to snap a photo of the crowd, but doesn’t send it to Hongjoong right away. He doesn’t want to make him any more nervous than he probably already is.
There’s a queue in front of the main entrance, where the hundreds of fans are waiting to get in. Then, off to the side, secluded behind some trees, Seonghwa sees a separate queue, labeled “Guest Entrance.” Surely that is where he’s meant to be. There’s quite a crowd, but definitely no more than thirty people. These must be the other members' friends and family.
Seonghwa waits in the line, the feeling of imposter syndrome sneaking up on him. It just all still feels so surreal. Even though he has known Hongjoong since the spring time, he has only just now gotten to know the real him within the past month or so. They have grown very close over that short timeframe, and Seonghwa is more than grateful for the friendship. The truth is, he hardly has any friends besides Hongjoong. Sure, he has friends from high school, but due to them all going to different universities, it’s hard to keep in contact with them. Then there’s the ones from his university, but he usually only chats with them in regards to school, or if they go out for drinks after finishing a rough semester. Other than that, Seonghwa doesn’t have a real close circle of his own friends. So, being able to attend an event like this one, for someone who he has only grown close to rather recently, warms his soul endlessly.
Soon enough, the doors finally open, and all the attendees are allowed to file into the building, including this secluded side queue. When it gets to Seonghwa’s turn, he pulls out his ID card and his mask down to his chin. Thankfully, they let him in, and he’s off to find his seat. By the time he reaches his seat, the small area reserved for friends and families is almost filled up, so he sits closer to the back part of the section. He has a wonderful view of the stage, if anything, front and center. The nerves have finally settled down, and have now been replaced with excitement. He whips out his phone to take a picture to send to Hongjoong.
Seonghwa
[image]
I’m seated!
I’m so excited for you Hongjoongie ♡
There’s forty-five minutes until the show officially starts and Seonghwa is back to being nervous. He’s never actually attended one before, so he’s unsure of what to expect exactly. He knows they’ll perform the songs from the album— duh —but besides that, everything else is a mystery to him.
The other guests in this section are all chatting amongst each other, probably more familiar with one another as the members have a much longer history together than Seonghwa and Hongjoong do—it’s fine, though. The woman seated on his right turns from talking to her husband, and probably other son, and faces Seonghwa.
“Ah, I don’t think I’ve met you before, who are you here for?” She asks politely.
“Kim Hongjoong invited me.”
“Oh! That’s my son!” The woman exclaims, “You must be Park Seonghwa-ssi! He’s told me so much about you. It’s very nice to meet you.”
On the outside, Seonghwa remains calm, and shakes her hand appropriately, but on the inside, he is once again experiencing turmoil in his nerves. His initial thought of wow , he talks about Seonghwa to his family takes root, but is quickly weeded out when he realizes it was probably to give a heads up about a complete stranger sitting in one of his reserved seats. That’s probably all they know about Seonghwa. That is the narrative he is forcing himself to believe, and not the one where Hongjoong sits on the phone with his mother talking about the other boy his age that works at the convenience store he frequents at 1 in the morning. Surely that’s not what they talk about…
“I hope it was all nice things.”
“Oh, of course it was!” She waves her hand to pass off the thought of it being otherwise, “He’s very fond of you, and I’m glad you’re able to keep my boy from being so lonely.”
She sandwiches his hands between her own for a brief moment, then lets go to introduce Seonghwa to her husband, and Hongjoong’s older brother, Bumjoong. They all seem like such a lovely family.
While he’s waiting for the show to start, he can’t help but keep replaying what Mrs. Kim had said not too long ago, about him keeping Hongjoong from being so lonely. Now that he’s more comfortable in his seat, he notices the other guests in the section. Sure, there’s parents and siblings, but there also appears to be friends of the other members. If Seonghwa recalls, Hongjoong had mentioned he didn’t have anyone else to give his extra tickets to. Maybe this type of friendship makes sense for both of them, then. They hardly have others to confide in, besides family, so they’re able to confide in one another, despite it only being such a short period of time. Warmth spreads in Seonghwa’s chest at the idea of being friends with Hongjoong for a long time. Hopefully that’ll be the case.
Suddenly, in the midst of talking to Hongjoong’s mother, the lights in the concert hall dim almost entirely, leaving only minimal stage lighting to signal the start of the show. Fans immediately start cheering, waving their small glowsticks and handmade banners prepared by other fans. Seonghwa missed out on grabbing some, too worried about getting in the right line, but Hongjoong’s mother brought an extra glowstick for Seonghwa—just in case.
The entire showcase lasts a handful of hours, consisting of the ATZ members performing their debut album songs a couple of times, fun mini-games, and other sorts of activities for fans to participate in with the members themselves. Seonghwa was blown away with each performance and in awe of how powerful the members are already despite only being rookies. The youngest member, Jongho, is an insane vocalist, belting out high notes he’s only ever heard female idols hit. Every single member is an absolute monster when it comes to executing the choreography, flipping like a switch the second the song starts. Seonghwa has never been a big fan of K-Pop groups, and maybe he’s already slightly biased about this one, but ATZ could easily dominate groups that have been in the industry for years at this point. He knew how incredulous they were based on the few snippets of Pirate King that Hongjoong shared in secret, but witnessing it in person, right in front of him , was so much better than he could have ever imagined.
Afterwards, the fans wait patiently to attend a fan meeting with the members themselves, while everyone else in the friends and family section are ushered backstage to wait until the event is officially over. Seonghwa chats among Hongjoong’s family, and even introduces himself to the other member’s invitees. The backstage waiting room isn’t that huge, but there’s more than enough room for them all to stand without feeling packed in like sardines. Situations like these Seonghwa struggles with the most; unsure how to sit, and what to do with his hands. His incredibly sweaty hands… Wiping them on his pants only does so much when he can’t calm his nerves down. He can’t exactly pinpoint the real reason why he’s so nervous. Him and Hongjoong have met face to face before, several times in fact, but this time feels much more intimate. Fiddling with the bouquet doesn’t help calm him down, that’s for sure.
“Those are really pretty, by the way.” Hongjoong’s mother leans over. “I think our Hongjoongie will love and cherish them.”
Seonghwa looks down and smiles. Our Hongjoongie… He’s totally normal about that.
Suddenly, the door opens, and a man in an all black suit walks in, arm pointing inside the room as if he’s leading someone in. And sure as shit, he’s leading the members of ATZ into this waiting room. Once the first member, Hongjoong, walks in, all the invitees start clapping and cheering, holding back tears of joy for their sons, brothers, and or friends. The rest of the members file in one by one, all lining up in a row.
“2, 3… 1 team is 7, we are ATZ !” Hongjoong starts off, and the rest follow after the count. They bow a complete ninety degrees and then return to their original stances, but not for long before the members' mothers come rushing forward to each respective son's side.
Seonghwa stands back for a second, now holding the bouquet of flowers behind his back. His mask has been removed since stepping foot into the waiting room, but he almost wishes he put it back on to hide the giddy smile he couldn’t force away if he tried. Seeing the members be so loved by their friends and family touches a part of his soul he didn’t expect and it almost brings him to tears. Thankfully, though, he holds back his tears—for now.
Hongjoong is still surrounded by his parents and brother for a long moment before he finally glances straight ahead and locks eye contact with Seonghwa. The leader was still wearing makeup, and although he endured essentially hours of exertion, it remained damn-near perfect. The makeup look he wore tonight appeared identical to the one he sported that fateful night over a month ago. Seonghwa entirely intended to speak up by now, but his brain short circuited the moment they locked eyes. He feels like he’s floating towards the other man at first, until he realizes Hongjoong is actually the one moving, not him. They’re face to face now at this point and every single word Seonghwa knows is gone . Out of his head. As if he is an infant and has to start completely from scratch.
“Thank you for coming tonight, Seonghwa, I really appreciate it.” Hongjoong smiles ever so faintly, eyes glistening in this rather harsh lighting. It honestly isn’t even doing him the justice he deserves.
“Of course,” he finally croaks out, his throat dryer than a desert. “I, um—I got these for you. I wasn’t sure if you liked flowers, but I didn’t want to—”
Hongjoong looks down at Seonghwa’s now extended arms, reaching out to grab at the bouquet himself. He takes them from Seonghwa’s grasp and inhales their scent. What takes him the most by surprise is how quickly he’s suddenly enveloped into the other man’s arms, wrapped firmly around his ribcage. He’s frozen in time for what feels like eternity, but in actuality is only a couple seconds. Once his body registers the action, he returns the gesture and wraps his arms around the leader as well, embellishing in the warmth radiating from Hongjoong.
The heartfelt moment is cut short when Seonghwa can feel his skin burning with everyone’s eyes on them. Against his own fearful will, he opens his eyes to find his fear had become reality. Every member, every family member, every friend—hell, even the security guards and staff members—have their eyes on the two men still embracing one another. Seonghwa yearns for nothing more than to run away, but alas, Hongjoong’s back is turned to all of those eyes and even has his head tucked into Seonghwa’s shoulder. He smiles awkwardly while attempting to get Hongjoong’s attention by tapping on his side. Eventually, the man gets the hint and pulls away, but not without gazing into Seonghwa's eyes once more.
Oh, I’m in trouble…
—
It had grown later into the evening and everyone's family members and friends returned home, save for Seonghwa. After Hongjoong’s family had left, Seonghwa was preparing to depart as well, but was stopped by Hongjoong, a hand gently holding onto his wrist.
“Can I take you somewhere?”
By this time, Hongjoong had changed into more casual clothing and removed his makeup as well. Seonghwa loved the look curated by their makeup artists, but seeing Hongjoong with the face he is intended to be seen in almost feels more intoxicating. Maybe it’s due to the subtle features of his skin being able to shine, like the freckles that lightly dust his cheeks, easily able to be covered up with the thinnest layer of foundation. Maybe it’s just that Seonghwa is used to seeing the other man in this nature so he appreciates it more. But one thing he knows for sure, is that he won’t ever get exhausted from gazing at his neverending beauty.
Hongjoong had led them back to his company building, ensuring Seonghwa that they weren’t breaking any rules, and he’s totally allowed to do this. Though, they didn’t stay inside the building. Instead, they took the elevator all the way up to the rooftop, where a small patio area is placed, exactly for moments like tonight. It’s safe to say that Seonghwa has never been this high up in the Seoul sky, and it feels terrifying, but exhilarating all at once. The late night breeze wraps around the short ends of his hair, tickling at the nape of his neck. The light breeze brings a slight chill to bones, but it’s all worth it in the end when he finally walks over to the ledge and peers into the city skyline. Hundreds of buildings beneath them, all illuminating in the darkness of the night. The only thing that could make this view even more gorgeous would be seeing the stars, but alas, there is far too much light pollution in Seoul to be able to grant that wish. This is good enough for now though. The two men stand side by side, and Hongjoong watches as Seonghwa gazes into the night, bewildered by such a view. He lets him peer out into the night sky for just a moment more before leading them to a set of chairs not too far back.
Thankfully, Hongjoong was thoughtful enough to grab a blanket from his studio before coming all the way up here. Although, there was only one and he’s selfless enough to lend the entirety of it to Seonghwa.
“But you only have shorts on, Hongjoong-ah!” Seonghwa had tried to argue. “And there’s enough room to sit next to me!”
Hongjoong declined though, for whatever reason.
“I know I’ve said it probably a million times already, but one more time won’t hurt,” Hongjoong starts, staring longingly into Seonghwa’s eyes once more, “I’m really grateful you came tonight.”
“I think I would be the worst person in the world had I not shown up… Afterall, I have to support my number one customer somehow.” The rotting-tooth sweet moment is only slightly disturbed with a small giggle from both of them before Hongjoong resumes.
“I was the first one to join the company actually, then Yunho, Mingi, San, Yeosang, Jongho and ending with Wooyoung. But before Yunho, I was so alone.” Hongjoong admits, “It had been six months of just me and the producer-hyungs, and they’re all older, with much more experience, so it felt a bit intimidating at first. When Yunho eventually joined, I finally felt a little less lonely, but then his middle school friend, Mingi joined and it felt a little more lonely again. The pattern kept repeating almost, every time a member joined, and then another one. Of course, we’re all close as a whole, but each member has another one they share more memories with, more of a bond with. It almost felt like I was missing something, but I could never tell what.
“The late nights alone in my studio definitely didn’t help either. As we neared closer to solidifying plans to debut, I felt more and more locked into this loneliness. Sure, I didn’t have to be, but they were letting me participate in lyric writing, same with Mingi, and I needed to make sure everything was absolutely perfect. The only times I left my studio were to go to the convenience store for a quick snack, caffeine refill, or to use the bathroom. But once the company released information about debuting a boy group, and my picture was plastered on every article, I had to start covering up and it felt even more isolating. Like I couldn’t let anyone see my face without them snapping a picture and posting to SNS.
“Anyway, the point of this is that I’m thankful you made me feel less isolated, Seonghwa-ya. I know we’ve only gotten closer rather recently, but it has helped me in more ways than I could ever describe, and I’m forever thankful. Without you aiding in fueling my unhealthy caffeine addiction, and for being the friend I needed this entire time, I don’t think I would have been as successful in preparing for my debut.”
Hongjoong takes Seonghwa’s hands into his own, much like his mother did earlier that evening, and holds them tightly.
“Yah, you’re gonna make me cry, Hongjoong-ah.” Seonghwa turns his head away and up, hoping the tears don’t spill over and make a fool out of himself.
“In the same sense, I could thank you for the same thing,” He turns to face Hongjoong again, “for making me feel less isolated. The truth is, I live alone, and hardly have friends of my own. I work the graveyard shift because it is convenient with my class schedule, but also I have no real reason to be awake during the day. Sure I talk with my parents, but it’s not the same as having friends or even a partner to talk to in the spare moments of the day.”
“It’s almost like it was fated for us to meet in that convenience store.” Hongjoong cracks a joke.
“I think you might be right, Kim Hongjoong.”
They sit on the rooftop patio for another hour, just staring into the night sky, enjoying the last moments of freedom before Hongjoong becomes one of the largest idols the country has seen. Eventually, Seonghwa convinces Hongjoong to sit on the small loveseat with him to share the blanket. He truly never minded, but he did mind watching the other man shiver every ten seconds but stubbornly refuse each time. Moments like these might be hard to come by in the future, but Seonghwa thinks as long as they have one another at each other's sides, everything will be more than okay.