Chapter Text
D-16 hated learning new things.
More so D-16 hated not being good at something new immediately. It wasn't really a secret that D-16 was a proud mech, and an overachiever to boot. The very idea that he had to fumble, make mistakes and potentially embarrass himself while developing a new skill wasn't ever something he looked forward to.
Orion Pax, of course, knew this. After one minor mishap and an almost cave in working with a new deep mining drill, Orion decided that watching D-16 in a shame spiral was his least favourite thing on Cybertron. Orion subsequently endeavoured to make sure it never happened at all costs.
Not a many knew that D-16 owed a lot of his badge to Orion Pax, sometimes at the cost of Orion's own tiers.
So D-16 had a lot of patience for Orion and his Orion Pax master plans… Which D-16 knew one was definitely coming with the way Orion was fidgiting constantly beside him during their shift. D-16 peeked over at him from the corner of his optic, watching the way Orion bounced on his pedes and muttered to himself as he rehearsed his pitch in his helm. It wasn't an uncommon sight, but the gestures he was making with his servo were concerning.
D-16 couldn't fathom why Orion kept curling his digits and moving his servo like that, but suffice to say by the time Orion actually picked his moment to regale D-16 with his brilliant idea, D-16 was glad it was at the barracks and not around heavy machinery.
"We should try 'facing."
D-16's response was very calm and composed— he choked and spat his energon ration all over himself. D-16 was too busy coughing and gagging on the dregs of the energon in his intake to even respond before Orion procured a rag like magic, casually wiping it over the spill dripping down D-16's chassis and continued on with his pitch.
Like all of Orion's schemes, it was was a half thought out idea that he approached with an infuriating amount of enthusiasm.
There was no hesitation when he gave chase to D-16 attempting a stiff and hasty retreat partway through his speech. "Oh come on! It doesn't have to mean anything." D-16’s glare did nothing to Orion's unsinkable pep. "Think of it as a way to relax and have fun."
"Interfacing is not strat ball, Pax."
"I could narrate it like a strat ball game."
Well that was a mortifying suggestion that was absolutely going to haunt D-16 for the next 50 cycles. "No!"
Unfortunately once Orion Pax set his mind on something, he was not in the habit of being denied without at least being thoroughly heard out. It wasn't the first time that D-16 had shot down one of Orion's schemes, but it also wasn't the first time he'd been talked into it anyway.
Not that Orion would bully him into something like interfacing, but D-16 was sure Orion could persuade Sentinel Prime himself into it if he just had a klik of his time.
"It's proven that regular release of charge improves system performance." Orion had apparently decided that stalking D-16 through the barracks and barraging him with 'fun facts' was the way to go. D-16 walked faster. "A large percentage of bots also said that they could rest better, regardless of if it was a spike or valve overload."
Much to D-16's horror, at least 3 helms whipped around. An embarrassingly pitched noise started whining in the back of D-16's vocaliser and he turned away sharply, raising his servo like a shield to hide the growing flush across his face as he tried to escape to absolutely anywhere else.
"Which is interesting," Orion continued, doubling his speed to keep up with D-16's failing attempt to power walk away from him, "because apparently valve overloads can last up to 2 kliks for some, which should technically be more relaxing, right?"
D-16 responded with a strained grunt and purposefully turned towards the rec area, because surely Orion wouldn't keep rambling on and on about fragging amongst a crowd—
"But oddly enough—" Oh slag, he should have known better. The whining noise doubled in volume as D-16 frantically scanned for the nearest exit and hurried towards it before Orion could say anything else— "Repeat spike self-service can actually cause some bots to enjoy interface less, sometimes even bring about impotence with their partner!"
There was nothing 'fun' about that fact at all.
D-16's HUD suddenly exploded with pop ups like it was responding to an emergency, running a script to tally how many times he had self-serviced in his lifetime and requesting input to estimate how many strokes he had left before he was— "It can bring about what?!" D-16 spun abruptly on his pede to face his soon to be ex-best friend, and Orion pivoted at the last moment to avoid colliding with him.
As much as D-16 tried reaching out to catch the mech, he couldn't deny that it was a little therapeutic watching Orion send himself tipping over a bench with a squawk, rolling pedes over helm and landing flat on his back.
The loud clang of Orion hitting the ground echoed through the now too quiet barracks.
D-16's frame prickled everywhere, feeling too many optics fixed on him, frozen with his arm still outstretched where he failed to catch Orion.
There was an awkward cough.
D-16 was sure he'd had a nightmare like this once.
Then Orion, still laying on the ground like a dropped bag of garbage, shot up his servo, wiggled his digits and declared loudly to an audience of about 20 miners— "Grip! You get used to the same grip and speed!"
As if D-16 required further visual aid, Orion's servo formed a loose fist, and gave the air a couple of pumps.
Oh yeah, this was definitely a nightmare.
D-16 groaned loudly amongst the chorus of laughter Orion earned from the other miners before smacking the offending servo. "Stop that!" He hissed.
"Ow— Come on, Dee, just hear me out!" Orion sat up, activating whatever cursed function that caused his optics to look that big and blue as he pleaded, "20 kliks! If your answer is still no, I promise I will never ever bring it up again."
D-16 opened his mouth to refuse.
Then his HUD prompted him for further information again, displaying an estimated count of his 'self-service events' that had his vocaliser fizzle out into silence. Apparently his self-service habits were so routine and predictable that it could be put into an algorithm.
How horribly efficient of him.
D-16's digits twitched, his vocaliser clicked… and then he sighed. "20 kliks, and never again."
Orion dazzled D-16 with such a bright smile that he almost forgot that his best friend was actually propositioning him.