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The night before the Plot Twist performance Leejeong had a dream.
It was the kind of dream that presented itself as just another day. In the dream Team 2 had completed their performance and gotten raucous applause, standing ovations, the like. In the dream Leejeong felt like a king, like he had been stabbed with all the drugs at once, like he was about to die, like he was about to leap off the edge of a tall building and float on down.
In the dream Liyu had done the best out of any of them and had been rewarded for it. He looked so happy when his name was called out as the best center. There were pretty tears beading the corner of his sparkling eyes and his smile could have lit up the darkest of night skies. He had collapsed into Leejeong’s arms and cried happily as Leejeong squeezed him desperately. Like they’d have to pull him away with pliers.
He was rudely awoken by a violent shake just as Liyu pressed his lips onto his.
“Come on,” said the horrible piece of shit who took him away from the best reality he had ever witnessed. “No one’s up, we’ve got to take advantage of the free practice space.”
Leejeong rubbed his eyes and was faced with his worst nightmare.
Yichen.
“I know it’s like 6 but we can’t make a wrong move today. We need to be a well oiled machine on stage today.” He clapped his hands annoyingly as Leejeong crawled out of his bed and pulled on a pair of loose sweatpants. “Everyone is there already.”
Stupid annoying earnest Yichen. Lame dumb overachieving Yichen. Technically nice but there was just something about him that made Leejeong want to break a pane of glass over his head.
Leejeong couldn’t stand him. He hoped to never see him again
“Guess you feel bad huh.” Leejeong muttered meanly as Yichen turned his back to move out of the room
“What?”
“Nothing.”
So they practiced. Yichen remembered the lyrics this time, bully for him. The other guys did their job well. Leejeong was Leejeong. But Liyu, Liyu was so perfect. Like always. He smiled stunningly and looked like he basically was a TWS member. How could anyone look at him and think he didn’t deserve to be center?
“You missed a beat,” What a horrible person Yichen was, picking on Liyu as revenge for losing the center position he never really had to begin with. Leejeong could just give him a piece of his mind but he noticed that some cameramen had wandered in to film them. Sometimes he forgot this was all meant to be seen on TV.
“Ah,” Liyu looked so dejected it hurt Leejeong’s soul. “I’ll do better in the performance I promise.” His words were clear and clipped, the way he gets when he’s upset and the Korean words get too hard to say naturally.
You could never do better, you're already perfect.
When they moved out of the room Leejeong ‘accidentally’ shoulder checked Yichen. He said sorry like he meant it and Yichen said “it’s okay” because he was supposed to say that. But he didn’t mean it.
During lunch, Leejeong couldn’t eat. The food looked evil like it was about to grow swords and stab him. He looked at other people instead. Sangwon mostly. He was the one to beat but also he was pretty nice and pretty pretty. That ugly guy he always hung out with didn’t deserve him. Leejeong probably didn’t deserve him either but at least he was easier on the eyes. He wondered whether he could manage a conversation with Sangwon. Maybe after they win he’ll respect Leejeong as a contender who he was allowed to talk to.
Then he noticed that Yichen was looking at him too. It was practically a dirty look from the famously pure trainee.
He knows what I did. But who cares what he knows. He deserved it anyway.
Leejeong swung an arm around Liyu’s shoulders and stared at Yichen dirtier.
Then the performance. Leejeong couldn’t tell you a single thing about it. He was on stage and then he wasn’t. Everyone yelled and whooped like they did well so he just assumed that they had.
Liyu had barely made it into the waiting room before he collapsed into a nerves induced sobbing fit. Leejeong was there to comfort him, dabbing his eyes with tissues and hugging him. It was the kind of thing too intimate to be shown on tv.
And then the results came in. Plot Twist Group 1 wins. Leader Leejeong wins. Center Hyunjun wins.
Leejeong felt like he had died and gone to hell.
Liyu put his hand over his head and thought that meant no-one would notice him crying. Yichen speeched to no one in particular about how ‘they’ve shown everyone’ and ‘how they should be so proud’ but the words sounded so fake coming out of him. Those should have been Leejeong’s words but nothing was coming out. Haneum, Sanghyeon, Arctic, Donghyun and Woojin looked happy (because they had won even when they lost and they only cared about themselves) but they kept on taking sharp glimpses of him. Leejeong knew what they were all thinking.
He did all that so that Liyu could be the center and look where that led.
They’ll never get it.
When he slinked off to this dorm later that night he hoped that Liyu would follow him. That they might be able to comfort each other. That his dream, though gnawed and twisted away from its original path, might somehow play out its final moments in real life.
Leejeong hoped. He put a face mask on and practiced pursing his lips in the mirror preparing for the moment he’d take Liyu’s face into his hands and press their lips together. If anyone was to look in at that moment it’d be obvious to them that he hadn’t done much of any sort of kissings. A few girls at school whom he barely remembers and maybe Junmin if them slobbering over each other's faces and grinding up against him one pre-debut night counted as kissing. Leejeong didn’t think they counted because he didn't really love any of them and kissing only matters if there’s love involved.
He had always wanted to kiss another though. To feel a body against his. To feel love coming not just from him but from his partner. Leejeong knew that his problem was that he loved too hard, that he thought love was only love if he was obsessed, that he could be overwhelming, that not everyone could give as much love as him but he had a really good feeling about Liyu. He knew that under his shy quietness he was the exact same breed as him
He was not about to fuck this up.
The door opened. Leejeong turned around.
Oh.
Yichen how fucking dare you come to me now? Your mother should have drowned you in a fire at birth you stupid-
“Aren’t you going to apologize to me?” Yichen’s voice had lost its tv nice tone to be replaced with something harshier and harder. If nothing else Leejeong couldn’t help but feel vindicated and happy that he finally managed to peel off his goofy goody goody mask.
“Now why would I need to apologize to you?” Leejeong’s tone was as cool as a bitter glass of ice cold water.
“You know why.”
Leejeong looked at Yichen through the mirror reflection. He looked pissed. All red faced and tense. Like a well oiled machine ready to burst out of its screws.
“It’s not my fault you didn’t audition hard enough for center and it’s not my fault you still feel all butt hurt about it. You don’t see Haneum still bitching about not getting center do you? Aren’t you supposed to be the mature one?”
“But it is your fault that you only picked him over me because you want to fuck him!”
Stupid Yichen. How dare he make his love seem all gross and disgusting? How dare he make Liyu seem like he didn’t win his center role far and square? Like he only got the role out of some sleazy power play?
“I don’t know where you got that from Yichen hyung.” Leejeong said nicely as he slowly peeled off his face mask feeling all powerful. No wonder Yichen liked being all nice while fucking over people it was really addictive.
“You wanted to fuck him so hard that you sabotaged me so that he’d get center. Admit it!”
Yichen grabbed onto his shoulders and started shaking him. He looked so crazy. Leejeong was almost afraid. Almost. Because he knew that Yichen didn’t have the balls to actually do anything to him.
“Sabotaged you how, by making you spend all of yesterday in the bathroom?”
“You know what I fucking mean!”
And oh did he.
“You know there’s been a nasty bug going around.” It took all Leejeong could to keep that sweet tone in his voice and all that effort paid off when Yichen jerked him harder, looking like he was about to slap him. “It wasn’t your or my fault that you caught it and had to spend all day shitting your guts out.”
“You’re a liar! And you’re gaslighting me!”
“That’s not what gaslighting means.” Leejeong spoke like he was the sensible one here.
Yichen let go of Leejeong and started pacing around the room. He could see the healthy crowd of fellow trainees gathered around the door clearly itching to see an argument become a fight. Maybe that’s why he was keeping it all in. One wrong move and he was off the show for good and all that work would be down the drain and everyone would look at him even more differently than his whole display . It was probably that last part keeping him most at bay. He wanted to be liked so bad.
Didn’t they all though? Isn’t this whole competition based on making people like you?
“You,” Yichen hissed out accusatorily, turning around and shoving a wagging finger in his face “Ruined the team. Because you were biased.”
“The team was fine without you in it.” Leejeong retorted coldly. It was fun, being the bad guy. Especially when it came to Yichen. He deserved nothing less.
“Your center couldnt sing a fucking note! He’s basically tone deaf.”
Great now Yichen was getting into the business of lies too.
“And you sound like a dying goat. If he’s tone deaf what does that make you?”
He looked like he was about to scream. He started muttering curses in Mandarin, like he thought if he said his words with the right amount of venom Leejeong might suddenly combust into a ball of flame.
“And besides,” It was Leejeong’s turn to get up in his face and look down on him. “Even if you could sing, which you can’t, even if you were the second coming of Sohyang or something, which you aren't , you were never going to get the center role because you were not cut out for it, which you know full damn well. You’re not cute, you're mean and old and everyone knows it because you can’t even pretend. Stop acting like we wouldn’t have lost harder if you were the center.”
Leejeong felt so much better now that he got to tell Yichen to his stupid face just what he thought of him. He felt like superman, like he could do anything. Maybe he didn’t need to win to be the winner. Maybe he just had to pretend to be a winner and everything would suddenly come up Leejeong.
Maybe he just needed to make sure someone else lost.
“You’re an asshole Jun Leejeong.” Yichen looked deflated. And tired, like the way one gets when the argument’s going too long and the participants know they’ll never win it. He looked like he was about to give up. Good I hope you give up so hard you end up leaving this whole show you loser. “And when I find evidence that you POISONED” He yelled that word while looking directly at the crowd that had formed like he was an annoying horrible satanic child who couldn't wait to tattle on their older brother. “me so that your little boyfriend could become center, I’ll make sure both of you will never even sniff having a career again!”
Then he stormed out of the room. Like a complete and total drama queen. He pushed past the crowd that had gathered. Leejeong hoped that they’d all look at him funny from now on.
Leejeong sat back down on his bed and sighed. What a day. Loving, losing, loosening. Etc etc.
He was going to find Liyu. And tell him how he felt. And how he defended his honour. And how amazing he was. And how much he really thought he’d be able to debut in the winning group. And how much he really wanted to suck-
Chuei Liyu wasn’t that hard to find. He was lying in his bed staring up at the bunk bed ceiling unblinkingly, sort of creepily. Poor Liyu, Leejeong thought as he walked into his room and sat on his bed without asking, he must be all torn up about losing. Leejeong was going to Cheer Him Up by any means necessary.
“Hey,” Leejeong said in his best concerned mom voice as he smoothed down his hair and started smiling a big smile that he hoped Liyu would find attractive. Liyu was still looking at the ceiling.
“Hi.”
“Are you okay? Cause of all this,” Leejeong gestures wildly in not any one direction. Liyu finally sits up and looks at him. His big brown sparkling eyes staring holes into his face made Leejeong even more nervy and edgy. He wanted to collapse into a shivering heap on the ground. “Stuff.”
“Yeah. It’s a good thing that it’s done and over with.” Liyu said simply.
“Yeah.” Leejeong suspected he was going to become nothing but a ‘yeah’ machine repeating those words until his tongue bled. And he’d do it all over again. He couldn’t imagine ever disagreeing with Liyu.
“I know you think me not winning best center is the end of the wo-”
“It was totally bullshit!” Leejeong yelled out angrily, every negative feeling he had when he saw the final tally rushing back into him. “It was like rigged or something because how could they look at you and that random little pipsqueak from the other team and think that you didn’t wipe the floor with him?! It’s so unfair!”
An awful awkward silence followed this. And then:
“Okay?”
The panic had fully set in for Leejeong. Oh my god I blew it I blew it he’d hate me he’d hate me. The panic was all encompassing, it was in his tensing fingers, his wobbling legs, his loosening tongue. The panic took over him.
And in retrospect it made him say some very stupid things.
“You’re pretty!”
Made him blurt it out just like that.
And then once he saw Liyu raise an eyebrow the panic made him talk more.
“It’s just that you’re so pretty and you don’t even see it! Like if I were you, which I’m not, I’d walk around like “My name is Choi Lipwoo and I’m the greatest person to ever exist.’ But you don’t you’re so humble but I feel sad sometimes because you’re so pretty and humble which means mean horrible FUCKERS want to try and take advantage of you and you dont defend yourself that’s the thing! You need-”
He didn’t realise that the panic had made him edge and shuffle and move ever closer up the bed until he had Liyu crushed up against the wall between the bars of his bunk bed. They were so close the tips of their plastic noses were touching, so close that Leejeong could count all the 28 freckles dusted around his beloved’s checks, so close that he could feel Liyu breathing in and breathing out.
He felt before he saw Liyu Mona Lisa smile at him.
“I need you? Is that what you were going to say?”
Well if the shoe fits…
The panic didn’t make Leejeong smash his lips onto Liyu’s. That was all on him.
Once Leejeong had broken the unbreakable seal that was Liyu’s lips, broken the one rule that kept him at bay, he had to keep breaking it. He couldn’t pull himself away if he tried. Liyu’s lips tasted like peppermint and sweet poison and perfect dreams and Leejeong had to go deeper, had to devour him whole.
And Liyu? Well he might have kissed back. Leejeong didn’t remember anything material about that kiss. Only what he felt as lips moved against lips.
No he definitely kissed back. How could he not? Only an awful human being would see all the love Leejeong was giving him and reject him? And Liyu was the best human being ever.
He didn’t realise that they had pulled apart until he saw Liyu panting, his lips red, pretty tears escaping from the corners of his small eyes as he wrapped his arms around himself.
“I love you Liyu.” Leejeong panted out desperately, his breath heavy like hot clouds. He placed a shaking hand onto Liyu’s pajama shorts clothed thigh and his fingers started playing with the hem. “I love you so much.”
Liyu might have mumbled back a ‘love you too’ but Leejeong wouldn’t know. All he could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears.
“I’m in love.”
Leejeong pulled up Liyu’s shorts and nearly combusted at the sight of his milky smooth thighs invitingly beckoning him closer. He didn’t know where to even start. Liyu was shaking like a leaf. Leejeong was shaking like a leaf. It was like they were mirroring each other. But not. Something about Liyu’s shakes felt like a different beast to Leejeong’s excited headiness.
“I love you...”
“Stop saying that, I know.” Liyu said in a weirdly weak tone of voice, half giggle has choked out whisper. He’s trying to be playful, Leejeong realised but that expression was as foreign to him as trying to be nonchalant was to Leejeong.
“You know what?” Leejeong placed a delicate little kiss on Liyu’s cheek. He turned away but that just meant that the kiss landed on the sharp of his jaw. Leejeong felt very sophisticated. Like he was in a whole movie, something French and arty. Liyu was his Anna Karina, rose lipped and chic and willing.
Liyu opened his mouth like he was about to speak but no words came out. He shuffled down until he was lying flat on his back, stretching himself like the sleekest of felines. He was presenting himself, begging Leejeong to take him. He let a desperate moan slip out of him as he shuffled backwards until he reached the tips of Liyu’s toes.
Leejeong was on his knees. He still had his shoes on.
“Do you know what you’re supposed to do when you’re in love, Liyu?”
Leejeong grabbed onto his waistband and pulled Liyu’s shorts down with one violent snap of his hands.
Liyu naked! Liyu naked! Liyu naked!
Well he wasn’t quite naked. He had his underwear halfway on. But still basically naked. And what a body he had. Pale and all sharp. He could count the freckles on his abs. He touched the curve of his legs, fingered the little dips on his waist. Leejeong wanted to sink in, not in a metaphorical sense but in a real manner. He wanted to be consumed by Liyu’s naked body. He wanted to be eaten.
It was in looking so deeply at Liyu, in pulling his tee shirt off enough that it was bunched up and pulled over his head but not off him, in staring at his closed eye smiles, that Leejeong realised what he should have known all along.
“Liyu, I don’t want to take you. Liyu, I need you to take me.”
Leejeong could hear a sharp intake.
“I could never take anything from you. I don’t deserve to. I need to give everything to you because that’s how it should work. Like like like you’re the king and I’m your orange you need to suck all the juice out of so you never feel hungry again.”
So he fell head first. Shoved his face straight into Liyu’s crotch.
“Say something Liyu,” The panic was back, it had risen up and struck Leejeong again. It seized him and made these awful thoughts start racing through his head even as he put his two hands around the base of Liyu’s dick. Thoughts like are you sure he wants this or you don’t even know how to suck dick you virgin or you’re basically a rapist Jun Leejeong. Awful fake thoughts but just because something was fake didn’t mean it couldn’t hurt. “Anything please.”
Liyu looked down on him. For one awful moment Leejeong thought he saw something cruel in his look. Something mean. The panic was ready to seize on it.
You saw how he truly thinks of you.
But that couldn’t be right. Liyu was kind and good and liked him.
“If it’ll make you feel better,” Liyu murmured sweetly like he was giving Leejeong the world’s warmest hug. “You can do…you know…that.”
He really did love Leejeong,
And Leejeong loved him.
So he sucked. Well licked. A lot of licking. It started off small. Leejeong had never done this before, he hoped that wasn’t obvious but it probably was. Tiny little licks down the underside. He thought it weird at first but then Liyu started breathing heavy and making these little whimpering little squeaks so he knew he had to be doing something right.
“More,” he kept on saying. More, that must mean he liked it right? More more more.
So he went deeper. Put his entire mouth around Liyu.
His mouth was wet and dry. Spit spooled out of the corners of his smile. He choked and it felt good. Leejeong feels great.
He wants to die like this. Lose all his breath and slip out peacefully, mouth on his beloved’s penis.
He did this all for Liyu. He’s giving so much and he asked for nothing but his love in return.
And Liyu liked it! Him, he didn’t know but he definitely liked what Leejeong was doing for him. He’d take that. What more could he possibly dream for?
I am not a rapist. Definitely not one.
Liyu gingerly placed a hand on top of Leejeong’s head. Leejeong grabbed onto his wrist and squeezed. It took all he could to pull himself up and off and said hoarsely, his throat sounding all fucked even at this early stage:
“You can like pull my hair and stuff.”
“I don’t want to.”
Leejeong looked up at Liyu like he had grown an arm on his face. He cocked his head like a confused poodle and asked in his best meaning worse seductive voice:
“But you put your hand on my head like you wanted to fuck my throat.”
Liyu winced. “Don’t say that kind of stuff.”
“What-”
“I just wanted to steady myself. I don’t feel steady.”
Leejeong let that sit in the air like a wet fart. Then he started jerking, up and down, down and out. Liyu’s dick was red now and near bursting. Any hot blooded man would know that he was close to cumtown. Leejeong was busy contemplating which option showed that he loved Liyu more, swallowing or letting his semen paint his face when Liyu broke the silence with a loud groan of pleasure.
“I’m going to…ahhhhhhhh!”
“I know.”
Liyu snapped his head forward and gave Leejeong a weird, implacable look. “Well I know you know. You know everything.”
Leejeong felt the panic in his throat again. Or was that just the consequences of giving a blowjob? “No I don’t.” He mumbled.
“You act like it.” Then another moan. Liyu was leaking precum over his tacky hand. For a small moment Leejeong felt the urge to smear his face with the stuff. To walk out of here with Liyu’s seed on his face so all the other trainees knew that he had been taken, that he was in love and no one could stop him.
Before he could, Liyu started murmuring, his words fragmented, his voice hushed and breathless. Leejeong sunk his entire mouth around his length and started sucking harder and faster. It was better this way.
“Leejeong-ah knows everything. Oh. Leejeong-ah has all these plans in his big brain that we’re all supposed to sit back ahhh and let ride out cause cause cause he knows best and we’ll just get in the way if we knew what he was planning on doing with our own careers. We’re too stupid not as smart as Leejeong-ah. But he says he loves us and that’s supposed to mean something.” Then he started moaning louder. Too loud. It felt fake. Like a deliberate performance. Like a shield.
Liyu started biting down on his hand as his orgasm rushed ever closer. Beautiful scores of crimson blood dripping down his chin. He panted and cried and as the moment edged ever closer he started talking again. Sweet quiet Liyu talking so much, Leejeong felt almost proud that it was him that had pulled him out of his shell.
Almost. Because the words-
“And maybe Leejeong-ah was right? Because we still don’t know how him slipping that something into Yichen-ge’s water bottle was supposed to help us. We’re too dumb, see.”
Leejeong choked in surprise. Oh no. He found out. No scratch that, he had seen it happen. He saw Leejeong slip those crushed up laxatives into Yichen’s water bottle. He was beyond fucked he was-
Leejeong felt like he had been caught. Like this had all been a trap.
“Don’t feel so bad Leejeong-ah,” Liyu ruffled his hair. “You’re not the worst admirer I’ve had. At least when you say you love me I believe you might maybe mean it.”
Leejeong couldn’t even think now. What was even going on?
“Well,” He said as if it was an afterthought. “I’m going to-”
And then he did. Leejeong swallowed down every splurt. It tasted like nothing he could name.
Leejeong felt so upside down as he peeled himself off Liyu. He sat back on the bed, panting heavily as if he had just run a marathon. Maybe he had in a sense. Love, especially when it came to Chuei Liyu, felt like running too fast in one very odd direction but being unable to stop and catch your breath. All the metaphors in the world couldn’t describe what loving Liyu felt like. Nothing could.
“Liyu.” Leejeong said. Not a single response. “Liyu.” He said again.
“I didn’t poison Yichen, Liyu.” He let that lie slip out of him unconsciously . “I wouldn’t do that. Believe me.”
Nothing was coming from Liyu. Leejeong placed his feet fully on the cheap carpet and stood up. He moved towards the head of the bed.
Liyu had his eyes closed and a quiet snore was coming from his open mouth. Asleep, Leejeong thought, I hope he’s having pretty dreams after all that. He looked at peace. Pure, holy. Smooth, cute. Innocent. Leejeong felt like he had sucked out everything wrong and ill from the otherwise perfect Liyu and made it so all that was left off him was the angelic heavenly version of Liyu Leejeong saw in his dream.
Liyu was Dorian Gray and Leejeong would willingly become his Portrait if it meant he let him love him again.
He spied a pack of makeup wet wipes and grabbed it. He grabbed some out of the pack and started cleaning his Liyu, dabbing away all those nasty impurities that dotted his body until all that tacky semen and blood was gone. Then he pulled up his pajama shorts and pulled down his tee shirt. Leejeong didn’t want Liyu waking up feeling nasty and gross and disgusting. He shouldn’t wake up feeling anything but sated and refreshed and raring to go and impress everyone with his Liyuness.
Leejeong wished he had a person to do that for him. But doing it for Liyu was the next best thing. And besides being in love meant being willing to do all so your love remained pure. Did that Chinese king who cut his sleeve so his boyfriend wouldn’t wake up as he moved away complain that he needed to buy a new robe or ask his boyfriend to do the same the next time he fell asleep during a picnic date, hell no! To Leejeong that was love.
But, he supposed as he looked down at his now quite painfully hard bulge straining against his jeans, love alone isn’t going to will this away. He hadn’t so much as brushed up against his dick once during the whole affair, too focused on Liyu and his needs to tug himself onto his duvet. Now he was going to have to spill without him. A shame, that.
Outside was loud and obnoxious. Leejeong guessed that there had been a lot of celebrating about the first performances being done. He didn’t care about that stuff. All he cared about was that his dorm was very much occupied by his roommates and not-roommates. So he couldn’t jack it there.
He imagined for a moment staying with Liyu as he came. He even, for one cursed second, imagined cumming on his face making Liyu as tainted by Leejeong as Leejeong was by Liyu.
But he realised how awful it would be for Liyu. And how wrong he would be to demand that much off him. And so he tied a hoodie around his waist and walked out.
The bathroom it was.
He barrelled into a stall, locked it and immediately pulled out sheets of tissue paper to wrap around his dick. Then he started.
He wasn’t sentimental like he had been with Liyu. He could have been, he had no real hatred towards his penis or towards the act of masturbating it but he just felt an extreme disinterest in doing it. As opposed to the worship he gave to Liyu’s member, his ministrations were machine generated, routine, rote etc etc. He groaned sexually yes but compared to Liyu’s heavenly moans it rather sounded like Leejeong was constantly stubbing his toe.
But cum was spitting out of his prickhole even as the coarseness of the bargain bin tissue rubbed up against it painfully so something must be going right.
Just before he could fully release, the bathroom door slammed open and slammed shut. Leejeong could hear the tap spilling out water and a vigourous scrubbing sound. Maybe a cleaner had come in? Shit how was he supposed to come in and out unnoticed now?
Leejeong grabbed his hoodie and bit down on the sleeve. He came with the faintest of mufflings and that was that.
He felt boneless. Like he had freed himself of his pesky body and was now a ghostly figure gliding around the air. He slumped on the toilet seat letting the sharp edge of the tank bite into him. It’s what he deserved.
Leejeong heard spitting noises and the sound of water hitting the sink. He suddenly became horribly aware of where he was, in this nasty dirty bathroom stall where the floor was always half damp and everything always smelled half like burning sulphur. He needed to get out. Immediately. He’d die if he had to stay here one moment. Argh!
He flung the cum soaked tissues into the toilet bowel and flushed quickly. He pulled up his jeans frantically fast and didn’t bother looking down or up or across as he unlocked the stall and barrelled out of the place he had convinced himself in the span of five seconds was a claustrophobic prison.
Big mistake. Because the person at the sink had turned around and Leejeong was immediately disabused of his notion that it was just some cleaner.
Because, toothbrush in mouth embarrassingly pink headband on head, stood Sangwon.
This was literally the worst thing that could have happened.
And Leejeong was so junked out and nervy that he couldn’t even run away. Instead he said semi normally:
“Hey Sangwon how’s it going?”
No honorifics or anything. Like they were friends. Which they weren’t. At all. Sangwon looked confused. Well even more confused. No one was supposed to talk to him like that. Perfect immediate center Sangwon probably hasn’t heard his name without the added sunbaenim since he arrived here.
“Fine?” He said it like he never even heard the word fine before and he was phonetically sounding it out. “How are you doing err…”
He forgot my name. Or never even learnt it to begin with.
Did that ever sting. Not that he’d ever let it show. “I’m Leejeong! All Stars Plot Twist Group 2. And I’m doing great you know my team won and sure we didn’t get the benefit but I’m sure when it airs everyone will see us showing our colors and they’ll love us so I’m happy.”
“Huh.”
Leejeong’s stupid mouth running over like that, like he was back at charm school being taught how to talk in that media trained dialect. God he felt like such a joke. Where was that manipulative mastermind moving all the chess pieces on the board that he thought he was when he woke up this morning.
“You were great today.” He said sincerely hoping a good old jerk to the ego would be the way into Sangwon’s good graces. “Amazing. You have like so much stage presence and was like so cunty like Ningning-ssi.”
Sangwon broke his neutral poise and started smiling (or was it smirking Leejeong never could tell the difference between those two). “Cunty?”
“Yeah you know you got that je ne sais quoi. No wonder you’re center.”
Leejeong could feel the panic coming, the obsession building the same way it had for Liyu. Though different in its details. Liyu was a pure beam of innocent light, Sangwon was all shadow, dark sultry shadow. Famous popular shadow.
Don’t forget the famous. Junmin once called him a clout chaser during one of their many heated arguments and all he said to defend himself was ‘Well this is why I’m e tier famous and you’re z.’ Clout chasing was a real skill especially for an idol.
“Well thank you that’s uh very sweet of you.” Sangwon smiled again and this time he knew it was a sincere if slight and sort of pitying one. Maybe Leejeong actually did have a chance with him. He desperately hoped. If there was anything better than having an obsession it was having two obsessions. “You uh didn’t do too bad yourself I’m sure you’ll get people voting for you in no time.”
“Oh thanks!”
Sangwon looked around suspiciously, his eyes travelling past Leejeong and to the closed main bathroom door. And then he coughed. It sounded pretty painful like it came right from the back of his scratchy throat. Then he spat something out into the sink.
Leejeong could have sworn the blob looked a little too white and creamy to be phlegm before it was washed away by the blast of a half broken tap.
“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Sangwon chuckled nervously. He moved closer to Leejeong and stared at him with those immutable eyes of his. “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”
Huh.
No wait, he could work with this! Mutual understanding mutual blackmail, whatever this was, it could be a great opportunity for further fraternisation. For further chances to further that obsession. For further chances to get that mouth on him.
Leejeong thought of asking Sangwon whether he was sucking off that complete uggo he came with (Lee something? It was definitely an English name) but decided that it could be another day’s topic. Besides, he knew he wouldn’t like the answer. That guy was just a total red flag Leejeong didn’t know what Sangwon saw in him. He could definitely steal him away no question about that.
“Leejeong.” Sangwon’s sharp voice snapped him out of his new fantasy.
“Yes?”
“Your fly’s down.”