Archive of Our Own ^beta

Alex curled further into the couch, slumped against the arm and wrapped tightly in one of Arapaima's weighted blankets. The heaviness of it was slightly comforting, but the quiet of the house meant his thoughts were running rampant, and he had no distraction. Dusty whined and nudged Alex's leg again, having jumped the fence of his pen and followed Alex and Arapaima home. When Alex tried getting him to head back, to go home, Arapaima said he could come in. Silently Alex had been grateful, even if Dusty wasn't too much of a comfort right now. Sareng meowed from the back of the couch, peering down at Alex with her bright green eyes, and any other day Alex would have loved that she was choosing to hang around so close to him.

He heaved a sigh and tucked his head against his arm. Arapaima's phone had finally stopped ringing. Alex's had been left on silent, far out of his sight so he didn't have to see his grandparents try calling him.

They'd found out about him and Arapaima dating.

He'd left his door unlocked, which he normally didn't do when Arapaima visited. Mostly because his grandparents had a bad habit of not knocking before coming in unless it was locked, and he'd worried about catching the two of them together, especially when he started to finally feel comfortable giving back the affection Arapaima so easily gave.

They weren't doing anything scandalous, but they were on Alex's bed, book Alex was trying to get through abandoned as Arapaima peppered gentle kisses across his face and neck, leaving Alex a mess of stifled laughs. Arapaima's hand was getting a little adventurous, hitching up Alex's shirt slightly to trail against his abs, but not going much further. Alex had made it clear they wouldn't be doing anything beyond kissing in his house, and Arapaima would never dare try to push against those boundaries. Alex tilted his head and cupped Arapaima's jaw in his hands, so he could hold the man still long enough for a proper kiss, humming quietly as Arapaima pressed impossibly closer and squeezed at his waist.

They hadn't heard the door open, but they did hear his grandmother's surprised and very loud "Oh!"

Alex shoved away from Arapaima, but they were so close together and arms tangled between each other that Arapaima didn't have anywhere to go that didn't drag Alex with him, and then they were scrambling apart as Evelyn stared at them, Alex stammering but not knowing what to say, because what was there to say?

His grandpa had rolled up behind his wife upon hearing the commotion, confused at the flustered look on his wife's face and then taking in the red faces of his grandson and his —what George had thought — grandson's best friend besides Haley. The rumpled state of their clothes, the slightly swollen lips, and inability to make eye contact hadn't helped.

George… hadn't taken it well.

The couch dipped and there was pressure against Alex's foot, a hand squeezing his ankle through the blanket. Alex shifted to look at Arapaima, who was watching him with… Alex wasn't too sure what he could describe it as. It wasn't pity, but that's the first thing he thought of. Whatever it was, it bordered on apologetic and sad and Alex hated to see it but if that's what Arapaima looked like, he'd hate to see how he himself looked.

Arapaima glanced at Sareng, made an aborted attempt to sign to Alex before shaking his head and taking a deep breath, looking to the floor then back to Alex. His hands were shaking slightly when he tried signing again — Alex had never seen Arapaima's hands shake when signing, not until that fight.

"What do you need?" he signed eventually.

"I…" Alex shuddered, his voice sounded so weak and he couldn't stand it. He also had no idea what he needed. What do you do after a fight where your very homophobic grandfather found out you had a boyfriend? And had very clearly been intimate with said boyfriend — that's what his grandpa claimed, anyways.

Hesitantly, Arapaima signed, "Hug?" Alex gave a jerky nod, letting go of a blanket edge so Arapaima could crawl into the blanket with him.

Sareng meowed again, more of a soft mewl as Arapaima wrapped Alex up in his arms. He tilted his head up at his little black cat and beckoned her closer. She climbed from the back of the couch slowly onto Arapaima's shoulders, before moving to Alex's a bit awkwardly. She settled, curling her tail around his neck and flicking it at his face, earning a hollow huff of a laugh. Still, she nuzzled his cheek and began purring. Dusty, having moved so Arapaima could cuddle Alex, now nipped at Alex's dangling hand lightly and butted his head against it, encouraging Alex to pet him.

Alex shuddered again as he lightly scratched at Dusty's head, burying his face into Arapaima's neck. Arapaima squeezed him gently, before dragging his hand slowly up and down Alex's back, slightly digging his fingers in to be sure Alex felt it. Alex melted against him, and tried to let his brain shut off.

He'd have to talk to his grandparents again at some point, but it didn't have to be now.

Alex groaned at the sound of voices, muffled but far too loud for how early it was. There was a small weight on his side, and a wet nose pressing into his chin, so he didn't move much at first as he cracked his eyes open. He hissed at the stinging irritation from crying, and carefully brought a hand up to not dislodge Sareng.

A bit more bearable, and Alex looked around, frowning when he didn't see Arapaima. Dusty whined from where he was pressed up against Alex, and Alex wasn't sure when he'd climbed onto the couch with him. Sareng was the one on his side, curled into a ball but watching the door with a decidedly very annoyed expression for what was the sweetest cat Alex had ever met. When he shifted, Sareng glanced at him before making a little huff and settling in deeper atop his blanket, making it clear what she meant: you're not going anywhere.

Following her gaze to the front door, Alex saw it was slightly ajar. Slowly and carefully, even with Sareng's protesting meow as he moved her and Dusty trying in vain to keep him from getting off the couch by curling closer into him, Alex climbed out and around the animals. His body was stiff and he swayed slightly, dehydration hitting him hard, and he steadied himself with a hand on the couch. The voices outside were still droning on, so Alex shuffled to the sink to at least get some water before he joined whoever was outside.

He had an idea, and he didn't really want to go outside, but he couldn't hide forever.

When he got to the door, he was surprised to discover Arapaima was just outside it, blocking the front even if he had left the door ajar. He was standing almost defensively in front of it, arms drawn to his chest as he just stared a little ways down the path that led to the rest of the farm.

Arapaima glanced back when the door creaked as Alex opened it further, and the annoyance on his face dissipated, being replaced by worry. Still, Alex stepped outside before Arapaima could try shuffling him back inside, and turned to look at where the arguing had been.

"Alex!" His grandmother's voice was full of relief, but Alex still cringed slightly, copying Arapaima and crossing his arms. He didn't look directly at his grandmother — even if she hadn't contributed to the fight yesterday, hadn't said anything against him and Arapaima, she also didn't say anything to support them. Instead he focused on the other farmers — Aster was closest, and clearly had been the one who was doing the most talking. They were the only one truly in front of his grandmother. Kali and Sour Patch were further away, but were keeping their eyes on the situation.

Aster took one look at Alex before shifting to block Evelyn's view of him. "There, you've seen him. He's fine, he's safe. You can go home now."

Evelyn sidestepped them. "I would like to hear it from my grandson if he wants me gone." Aster looked like they were going to try again.

"It's fine," Alex said before they could. Aster and Arapaima turned to stare at Alex, who cleared his throat. He and Arapaima caught each other's eye and Arapaima dropped his arms, wrapping one around Alex's shoulders and pulling him into his side while the other signed to Aster to listen. Aster clearly didn't want to, but nodded and slowly walked over to Arapaima's fish ponds, settling at one and very obviously joining the other two in keeping an eye on them all.

When his grandmother started to walk closer, Alex nudged Arapaima back slightly, so they were at the railing. "We'll stay on the porch," he told her, and she nodded as she carefully climbed the steps.

Arapaima didn't say anything, keeping one arm wrapped tightly around Alex's shoulders and the other stayed back to grip the wooden railing. Alex glanced briefly at his boyfriend before looking back to his grandmother. He swallowed thickly. "Why are you here?"

"You weren't picking up my calls, Alex. I wanted to make sure you were okay after yesterday."

Alex couldn't help the huff. "How would I have been okay?"

She faltered slightly, but her expression turned sad and she shook her head. "You're right, I— if it had been me, I wouldn't have been okay either. It… I'm sorry, for what it's worth, that it happened at all. I should have knocked before going into your room."

Alex frowned, leaning further into Arapaima. Arapaima squeezed his shoulder and Alex tried to force himself to relax, even just a little. "That's not—" he huffed and shook his head. "That's not the problem. Or, well— it's not all of it." Alex looked at the ground and hugged himself tighter. "Grandpa, I knew would react poorly. That… I wasn't ready for that confrontation, even if I knew it'd probably come eventually."

"I'll be talking with him," Evelyn cut in. "I tried last night, but his temper was too high and I couldn't get through to him. But I'm sure with time, I can get him to see sense, to apologize."

Alex shook his head. "That's still not the issue, though," he said. "It— last night, you said nothing while we were there."

"What could I have said?" Evelyn questioned, her brows drawing in as she stood a little taller in her own frustration. "You two were arguing I wouldn't have been able to get a word in otherwise!"

"You just said you tried talking with him last night — but you couldn't try at all while we were there? I don't… I never worried about you accepting me— accepting us." Alex glanced up at her. "But I always thought that if it did come down to a confrontation like that, you'd at least try to help me. In the moment."

It was silent for a second as Evelyn processed what he said, and Alex watched the frustration simmer back into sadness and realization. She looked at Arapaima, then back to Alex, and took a slow, deep breath. She hesitated before speaking, clearly choosing her words carefully.

"I… I see. I… didn't even realize, that being quiet then would have been the wrong thing to do. I'm used to being able to put aside arguments for another time, if at all, no matter what they're about." She met Alex's gaze. "I'm sorry, Alex."

Alex swallowed but nodded, tilting his head to rest on Arapaima's. It felt weird, a little, to do this with his grandmother right in front of him. But he was tired, and still stressed, and even with her apology it still stung to think about it all. When he clearly had nothing else to say, Evelyn deflated a little but looked to the path from which she came.

"You'll stay here for the time being?" She asked, turning back to them. For the first time this morning, Arapaima signed to her.

"He's always been welcome here. He can stay as long as he likes."

She watched his hands before nodding slowly, focusing back on Alex. "Would you like me to bring some stuff from your room? Or… George has his doctor's appointment in a couple hours. You can come get anything you'd like then. I, I wish I could say it'd be alright but I don't think it'd be a good idea for him to see you quite yet."

And that hurt a lot more, that his grandpa wouldn't want to see him, even with some hours between the two incidents. Alex swallowed, then realized what she was asking, and his mouth went dry at the realization that he was being sort of kicked out, even if very gently and reluctantly.

Arapaima rubbed down his arm slowly and methodically, drawing Alex's attention. He was tilting his head down at Alex, and with his other hand he signed: "What do you want to do?"

Alex took a deep breath. "I'll swing by later. You can text me when you guys leave."

Evelyn nodded and started towards the porch steps. She looked at Alex one last time for that day. "I'll see you later, Alex?"

All he could do was shrug.