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Chapter Text

Jaskier had one rule, well, more than one, but the most important was, don't get attached, and what did he go and do? He got attached.

Becoming a bard meant not having to keep long standing relationships, staying in one place for a long period of time. That's why he became a bard in the first place; it made the most sense from a practical standpoint. He would not have gotten away with his agelessness if he became a fisherman, or a merchant, or even a stone carver.

Then there were the stories, stories that he could craft from wandering the continent. All he needed was an instrument and a lovely singing voice and boom, he became a bard. Wandering the continent alone, how it was supposed to be, that was until he met the Witcher. That day he broke his one and only rule and decided to throw all caution out the door. Geralt has never been able to get rid of Jaskier since then.

'How many years has it been since that day?' Jaskier thought to himself, how long ago did he stop counting? How long before Geralt starts to notice that something is off?

Jaskier before meeting Geralt kept to himself, he did not partake in conversations that would not benefit him, but with Geralt it was different. He could just keep taking about random ideas flowing through his head or just state the obvious and Geralt would usually give a hum in acknowledgement. He never realized that he actually liked talking until then. That talking was just as important to a bard just like his lute and magnificent signing voice.

Geralt took peace in Jaskier lost in thought, it was not often that Jaskier is quiet for long periods of time. The only other time Geralt sees Jaskier like this is when he is creating new lyrics for a song that he is writing, even then he is mumbling to himself.

Geralt looked down from Roach and gave a quick glance to his bard deep in thought. Winter is coming soon, that means their seasonal journey is about to end. It was always like this, every winter Geralt and Jaskier go their separate ways, and then every spring they meet again right after the last snow pile turns into puddle of mud. Every time they meet again, Jaskier is the one to find Geralt; he always knew where to look when the season began. Geralt did not think anything of it at first, but then he began questioning it after a few years had passed. Subsequently, Geralt started to notice that Jaskier did not age much during their years of knowing one another. Jaskier always brushed it off as great genetics from his mother's side and that he had a ghastly baby face.

Before darkness overtook the sky the pair started to create their camp for the night. Laying out their bedrolls and getting a fire going. The ground is starting to become hard from the cold, and the air is getting crisper by the day. Tonight, the stars are the only beauty in sight, thankfully. It wasn't so bad, it could have been raining, that would have been a damper on the whole sleeping outside thing. However, the way Geralt was acting it seemed that the night air was cooler than it has been as he started to poke at the fire. "Say Geralt, do you ever get tired of being a witcher?" Jaskier asked as he sat up to look his witcher's face.

Maybe it was finally time for Jaskier to go back, he did what he wanted to do, kicked it around with the humans for a few decades, but these last few have been so fulfilling to him. There is always something interesting going on whenever he is with Geralt. He also did not need to be anything other than the annoying bard that would get in the way sometimes. Sure, there have been ups and downs where Jaskier could have blown his cover by unleashing some chaos, but who hasn't?

Geralt's amber yellow eyes just started at the dancing fire as the wind gently cresses it. He gave no answer. "Fine then don't answer my question. You can do your little brooding thing, like you always do, why don't you." Jaskier huffs as he went to lay back down, making sure to exaggerate his movements as he turns his back towards the fire. "We should be parting ways soon anyway for the winter." They should have parted ways days ago, but here they are sleeping out in the cold. "You need to go back to Kaer Morhen, and as for me I need to find a place to stay for the time being..." He trails off not knowing what to say next. Jaskier knew exactly where he was going, it was just that he couldn't tell his friend.

Lies are best told when truth is mixed in, and he has no real truths to tell. Yeah, he did not know where he was going to go, but it's not like he didn't have nowhere to go.

"Why don't you come with me to Kaer Morhen this winter," Geralt said slowly, as if he was thinking out loud.

Processing what Geralt had just said to him, Jaskier continues to look into the darkness silently, there is no way that guy said that right? Seconds pass. It has to be some kind of mistake, even if it wasn't there is no way that he could go with him. "I don't think you want me to journey with you, you barely tolerate me now, from spring until autumn."

"What can another season hurt?" Geralt said defensively as he shrugs.

Geralt is being bloody serious right now. He actually wants Jaskier to come with him. This has to be some sort of prank, "Why?" Jaskier pushed himself up and turned around. There has to be a reason why he is being insistent on him coming otherwise there would be no point for a human like him to tag along.

"Why not?" Geralt pauses for a moment, "We have known one another for a long time." He threw in some more wood. Is it really that cold right now? There is no way a Witcher is freezing in this weather, there is not even a spec of snow on the ground yet.

"Yes, but this is Kaer Morhen we are talking about. The Witcher keep, your home-" Geralt cut him off before he could even continue.

"And somewhere I have graciously invited you to come join me for winter." Geralt adds in with a smirk starting to form on his face. The stone-faced Geralt showing expression is a new one even for him. He didn't eat something bad, did he? Maybe Jaskier was right to be skeptical about the tea that was brewed for them buy that creepy old woman as thanks for a job. "It's not like you go anywhere special during the winter, is there?" That is just plain rude. Of course he does, but it's not like he can even admit it.

He could not fathom why Geralt was being so nice to him all of a sudden. If a mage told him Geralt would invite him to Kaer Morhen one day. Jaskier would have laughed in the mage's face because there is no way his Witcher would ever do such a thing. The brooding man of only a few words, the guy that did not have friends; he was doing a friendly gesture.

Jaskier thought about it for a moment, he would love to go to the Witcher keep and be able to walk around, but then he would be surrounded by witchers. Witchers that are supposed to kill beings like him for a living. Jaskier sat looking into the fire, he can only go based on his experience alone on this matter, and experience is telling him to stay away. Even though Geralt has been fooled for the time being, that does not mean the other witchers will be.

Geralt sat there staring at him as the fire crackles between them as if it is the only sound in the void between them. Before Jaskier knew he said, "Alright fine." He did not work well being under pressure.

He always gave in to Geralt, it didn't matter if Geralt fucked him over from a hellish wasteland or not. Jaskier could just never stay mad at him for anything that he did and would always fold first. He needs to get better at it, but maybe for living so long you forget at times how fragile life can be and to live it to the fullest.

Maybe he would get lucky, and Geralt will forget about him. After all the keep must be ginormous, and Yennefer and Ciri must be coming as well if Geralt so graciously invited him. Or maybe they are already there, Ciri is being taught how to control her chaos by Yen so it wouldn't be a stretch that the keep would be the safest place to practice. If not for her but the potential people that could be harmed by her trying to get the spell right.

Wait...was he only invited to babysit her? To keep her out of trouble when neither Yen nor Geralt was looking after her? He may have signed up to be like an uncle or something to her, but that is really out of his job description here. All of them know him as a bard, a human bard to be more precise. Someone who does not have any chaos and can only run away in the face of danger. The best he could be seen doing is watching over her from a long distance away so he himself would not be caught in the crossfire of her chaos running rampant. Although he has heard from Geralt, she has gotten better at managing it on her own, he won't believe it until he sees it with his own eyes. He can't risk blowing his cover because of some chaos backfire.

However, when it came down to it, Ciri is not a little kid in needing to be babysat every minute of the day, "I am not babysitting Ciri." Jaskier told Geralt flatly. There are a lot of things that he would do for his friend, and babysitting is not one of those things.

Geralt just gave a "Hmm" in response as he pokes the fire.

"Oh, don't give me that "hmm." I am putting my foot down on this one Geralt, even though we are friends, I have better things to do with my time thank you very much." Jaskier emphasizes himself as he crosses his arms and looks away from his friend.

It is one of those rare moments where Geralt smiles, not one of those fake smiles either. A genuine smile coming from him is like finding a perfect diamond in a bird's nest. Something that seems almost impossible until you see it for yourself, "And what makes you think that I would ask you to babysit her?" Dammit.

"Well, obviously, Yennefer and Ciri will be coming to the keep as well, correct? So, I figured that both of you would want some downtime alone from her, but someone has to watch her so that she would stay out of trouble-" He got cut off again.

"If anyone would be watching her it would be one of the other witchers, not some human bard. Besides, when it comes to training Yennefer, and I have already figured out a schedule that works best for us." Geralt paused again to find his words, "You are my friend Jaskier, that is why I am asking if you would like to come with me." His amber eyes told no lies. "Besides you would be a good use of entertainment, I know that Ciri and Yennefer miss live music during their stay there, and it would be a nice change of pace for my brothers."

Jaskier felt a little better about his friendship with Geralt not being one-sided as he thought it was. "Alright, I'll take your word for it," he said as he got back underneath his blanket. The warmth of the fire felt nice.

He was actually invited to go to Kaer Morhen, Jaskier never thought the day would ever come. Now the only question is how long before he can keep up his human appearance before he is found out.

Chapter Text

'Oh, Melitele.' He thought to himself. It had not really sunk into Jaskier yet that he had quite literally was walking into the wolf's den until he made it to Kaer Morhen and it was already too late to turn around. 'Why do I keep putting myself in these predicaments?' He didn't even think of the repercussions even before accepting Geralt's invitation and now look at him a fae walking into a Witcher keep. 'What was I thinking,' Jaskier scolded himself. It was almost as if he forgot that he wouldn't be able to stay in his human form much longer.

The top of the mountain was colder than it was down at the bottom, not that Jaskier could tell. He took in a deep breath of air and exhaled taking in all the witchery smells. That was one of the perks of being a winter fae, the cold never bothered him. He enjoyed it, even in his human form. The heat on the other hand is a different story all together.

The first few weeks into Jaskier's partnership with Geralt there had been a heatwave. Geralt luckily for him was traveling on Roach, Jaskier on the other hand looked as though he was about to pass out. His body was aching from the heat beating down on him, not something a winter fae should be exposed to for long periods of time. At first, he tried coxing Geralt into letting him ride roach as well, but he was denied with a "hmm" and roach almost biting off the tips of his fingers.

Jaskier mumbled to himself as he trudged on "I need to get her some sugar cubes or apples or something, I cannot have her hate me for our entire journey together." His pace slowed before there was a loud sound of a thud before Geralt turned around to see Jaskier face first in the dirt.

"Jaskier, you are not getting on Roach, so your feeble attempts to sway me are useless." Geralt said before turning back around and move a few paces forward. Jaskier said and did nothing. He just laid there. Geralt stopped once again and dismounted Roach and ambled his way over to Jaskier. "Jaskier." Geralt said again. Still no response from the bard. Worry panged Geralt's heart, they had not been walking for very long, it was still early in the day. He reached out to Jaskier but quickly retracted his hand from the heat that Jaskier was radiating. Immediately Geralt turned Jaskier over, to see that his bard was sweating profusely and he was shivering. "Fuck Jaskier you're running a fever." Still no response from the bard. Geralt picked up Jaskier and brought him over to Roach. Roach started to back away, but Geralt stopped her, "It's okay, he's just sick, it's only one time, and I'll give you a reward for doing so." he told her consolingly before she allowed Jaskier on her.

Without hesitation Geralt made Roach gallop to the closet town possible. He didn't want to overwork her, but he didn't want this human to die on him, at least not this way. Jaskier's scent was becoming sicker, he smelled like a rotting decaying pine and must like scent. When they reached town, Geralt stopped Roach down to a trot and then to a stop in front of a stable. He once again dismounted from Roach this time with Jaskier in his arms.

Jaskier let out a mumbled, "Ugh" and groan before going silent again.

A stable boy then ran up to them, before he could say anything Geralt pulled some coin from his pouch and gives it to the boy. "Where is the village healer?" He asked.

The boy gives the information that Geralt needs before he makes his way out of the stable. His pace quickening with every step. Reaching to the door it opens before Geralt has a chance to do something.

An old woman smiles, "I see you have brought me my latest patient, come in, come in." The woman takes a closer look at the bard as Geralt walks inside. "Now this is puzzling, lay him on that bed over there." She says as she points to the open bed across the room from her cabinet full of herbs. "What happened?" She asked Geralt quizzically.

"He started to complain about the heat and then he fell over." He started to explain, "When I went to check on him, I noticed that he was burning up, the rest as you know it."

"Ah, I see," she responds, looking towards the younger man, "So he has heatstroke." She almost seemed disappointed that it wasn't something more serious. Then she looked back towards Geralt, "It isn't that surprising seeing as the weather outside is not for the weak or sensitive." She started to make her way over to her cabinet and pulled out a few herbs. "While I am taking care of this, you should help your friend out by taking off that doublet of his." She waved to Geralt as she focused in on the remedy.

Geralt did as he was told, carefully he removed the layer of clothing. Jaskier's heartbeat slowed slightly, and his complexion looked better. The old woman then came back over with a bowl of bitter herbs.

"You need to make him drink this, it will help him recover, though it no longer looks like he is going to meet death." She then pressed the bowl into Geralt's hands.

"Isn't this your job?" He questioned looking at the questionable substance.

The old women sent out a huff of annoyance, "I am the healer here, if you would like to find another one you can do ahead, but I don't believe that boy would make it out of this village alive if you were to choose that option." Geralt backed down from the argument, even if he wanted to leave Roach already traveled two days' worth on foot in less than half a day. She is tired as is, especially with the heat. Simply put, Geralt had to do what the old woman says. "That's what I thought, you feed that to him, and I'll be back in a second."

Geralt looked down back to Jaskier and pulled out a chair, "Jaskier, you need to wake up and drink this." Geralt started to lightly shake the bard awake to help in the process.

The bard's eyes dizzily open, showing his sharp blue eyes, "Wha? Where are we?"  He questioned as he looked around the room as he tried to support himself up.

Geralt helped him up, figuring it would be better for him to drink the concoction sitting up rather than laying down in the bed. "You are experiencing a heat stroke; I brought you to a healer. You need to take it easy. The healer made you a remedy to drink to help with the recovery."

Without even looking at what the healer prepared Jaskier knew that it was going to be a terrible experience. In all his years no matter if it was a human or fae, every single time he had to have something that was remotely related to medicine it was bitter. "Do I have to?" He begged, "I heal quickly, I am sure I can be back on my feet in a day or two even if I don't drink it." he pleaded.

"No."  Geralt responded. "Now you drink this willingly, or I pour this down your throat by force." He growled.

"Gah," Jaskier whined, "give me the damn bowl." Taking the wooden bowl from Geralt's hand Jaskier manages to down everything in one swig. The bitter taste of the herbs swelled within his mouth; he will not be able to get rid of that taste for the next few days. He had to bite his tongue as the liquid made its way down to his throat in fear he might hurl. Once the unpleasant experience was over, Jaskier threw the bowl back over to Geralt. "Happy now?" If Jaskier had any fae magic that would work on him to get him out of here, he would have done so, but with his powers weakened from the heat and being in his human form, there was no way that he could enchant a Witcher. Even if it did work, Geralt would figure something is wrong and most probably kill him, so he dropped the idea entirely.

The old woman came back into the room, "The patient is awake I see," she says as she moves closer to the pair with another bowl. Jaskier feared that it was another remedy until he saw the contents, he let out a sigh of relief. It was just a basin of water and a cloth. "Worrying over nothing boy. Now lay down, you may no longer be in danger of dying, but you will need at least a week recovery before you can even think about leaving." She spoke. Jaskier looked over to Geralt, hoping praying that he would be on Jaskier's side.

Geralt was in fact not, so for a week they stayed in the village and for a week to repay the old woman in exchange for her taking care of Jaskier Geralt did the manual labor she could no longer do herself. Looking back Jaskier could not believe that Geralt did that for him. After that incident Geralt was careful not to do any traveling or extraneous exercise that would ever put Jaskier through that again. Especially since they were a week behind in their travels and there was no way that Geralt would just leave Jaskier alone, not like that.

"Geralt!" A young feminine voice yelled pulling Jaskier back to the present.

"Ah, Ciri," Geralt said tenderly. The snow crunched underneath her feet as she stopped in front of Geralt. Eagerness pulled her lips into a smile, her training with Geralt can start up again. She also gets to see her father figure for the next few months, someone that she rarely sees on occasion. However, as Jaskier knew much to his dismay, where there was Ciri, Yennefer of Vengerberg was not far behind.

Jaskier knew he had to make an excuse to go inside, so he crafted one up, "Geralt, hate to interrupt the lovely family reunion, but I'm starting to get cold out here. You don't mind if I just pick an unoccupied room, do you?"

Geralt looked up from Ciri and stopped his conversation with her, "When you go inside, wait for me. I will guide you around, this place can be confusing for someone not used to it."

Jaskier gives a nod and gave his own interpretation to what his Witcher said. "So, just find the nearest room possible. Got it. Thanks!" Jaskier yelled as he went inside to find himself a comfortable room away from everyone else. Privacy is one of the best ways to keep a secret after all.

"Jaskier, that's not what I said!" Geralt hollered as the door was already closed in behind Jaskier. He let out a deep sigh, wondering why he even invited his bard here.

Ciri patted Geralt on his back with a sense of knowingness, and a bit of pleasure in Geralt's reaction. "It seems like you will have your hands full this winter." Ciri looked over to Geralt holding in her laughter.

"Yeah, a pain in my arse if anything." Geralt glanced back to Ciri, "You will start your training back up in three days."

"Why not tomorrow?" Ciri groaned. Having to wait three days is almost like torture to her, she can never stay still for very long. Which is why it is hard for Yen to train her but also satisfying, but that can come with some complications like her pushing herself far beyond her limits and boundaries.

"In three days, I will assess your skills to see whether you have improved or have deteriorated in your skills. You don't know how I will assess you, so you need to practice, on your own."

Excitement lit Ciri's eyes, she can finally move in her training if she can pass his test. "Does that mean I can take a break with practicing controlling my chaos with Yen?"

"No." He simply said, "After your training with Yen you will practice your training that you have done with me out in the training yard."

Disappointment was hidden in her facial expression of delight of having the training grounds all by herself, but sorrow that her evaluation is three days aways. On top of that she still has to train with Yennefer, she has gained a lot more control of her chaos compared to the last time she saw Geralt. Then an idea struck her, she will just have to prove herself to him that she no longer needs a babysitter and what better way to do than passing his mystery appraisal. This lightened her spirits back to what they were before, "Alright," she remarked happily.

"Now tell me where is Yen?" He asked.

"Oh, she is talking with Vesemir, something about using his laboratory for her personal uses." A mage will always be a mage, at least he will know where to go when he needs her when he can't find her.

"Then since she is busy speaking with Vesemir, why don't we go and try Jaskier before he gets himself into some trouble. You could even practice using your tracking skills." Ciri nods excitedly, doing this for Geralt is just one step closer to her goal.

Jaskier on the other hand was having the time of his life trying to find a good enough room to call his own. A place of his own.

That was at least until he found the perfect room snug at the end of a hallway, where there was most certainly a dead end. "Perfect" he muttered to himself. He opened the door and instantly knew that this was his room, it was simple but every room in this fortress is like that, except for Yennefer of Vengerberg's just because she is Yen, and she oozes luxury. Jaskier gently placed his lute on the table in the room and just threw his sack on his bed. He would take care of the details of that later, but before then he needed to use a little chaos of his own. However, in his human form would not give him the power he needed. So, without even thinking about it, he transforms back into his original form. "Haven't been like this for a while, now it's time to get to business." First, he placed a glamour on the door, and all around the room, making it seems as if no one was occupying the room.

Luckily for him, even if he is in his other form the glamour doesn't disappear. With the first snow fall coming any day he could not help but spread his wings and enjoy it. Winter always takes forever to show up, and without exception winter goes at its own pace to leave.

Suddenly he could hear a muffled sound outside his door, so he slowly put his ear to it. "This has to be the place, Geralt. I just know it." It was Ciri.

'Did they track me all the way to my new room,' Jaskier groaned internally. His power is already being tested, not only by the lion cub of Cintra, but also the White Wolf Geralt. 'Looks like my glamour is really being put to the test today,' he thought to himself.

"Then open the door then," Geralt said. "See whether or not you have succeeded or not."

"Isn't that rude?"

"Knock then." Geralt shrugged.

Ciri took in a small breath and breathed out, "O-okay then." First, she knocked on the door. No answer. She gave it another try, this time putting a little more power into her knock. Again nothing. Geralt then decided for himself that enough was enough and opened the door for her. When they looked into the room there was nothing, no lute on the table, no sack on the bed, no Jaskier. "Looks like I got the room wrong." She said to herself disappointed.

Geralt then sniffed the air, "You're not totally wrong, he was here. But his scent is very slight."

'Dammit and Geralt and his mutant-like senses.' Jaskier thought to himself.

"Looks like he decided to pick another room, possibly one close to this one. Vesemir must have started to make supper already, Jaskier will show up sooner or later. Can't keep him away from a good plate of food, ale, and an audience that is unable to get away from him." He says as he starts sauntering out of the room.

Ciri follows him, "He sounds like the perfect person as a companion." she says laughing.

Geralt gives a dull 'hmmm.' before closing the door behind him and more muffled talking through the door as the pair walk further and further away.

"Well, isn't that great," Jaskier announces to himself as he lays down on the bed, pushing his sack onto the floor in the process. "It seems like I am just dead weight and an annoyance at that." He muttered to himself. 

Chapter Text

Much to Geralt's dismay Jaskier did in fact not show up for dinner, although he would never admit that he is actually worried about his bard. "I thought you said Jaskier was going to show up for dinner?" Ciri asked Geralt as he placed another spoon full of stew into her mouth.

"Yes, where is Jaskier? I haven't seen him at all," Yen commented as she sat down with her meal.

"Don't know. He disappeared as soon as he walked in. Ciri tried using her chaos earlier to find him, but it didn't work." Geralt told her. He has never known Jaskier to skip out on meals, even if they were hurting for coin, he would always say that to get strength for contracts one needs to eat.

"Maybe he got lost trying to get to the dining hall?" Ciri rationalized, "This place is complicated if one does not know their way around." Kaer Morhen has quite a few floors, the ground floor had the main hall, dining area, and kitchen. The second and third floors contained the bedrooms. Then, the fourth floor was where Vesemir's laboratory and the library are located and then there were the towers. There were also a fair number of lower floors as well, depending on which staircase one took, they could either end up in the dungeon area, with the hot springs, or even the catacombs.

"That or he is purposefully missing dinner in exchange in some privacy with the hot springs." Yen sipped at her wine. "You have mentioned them on your journey with him, haven't you?" Her deep purple eyes pierced into him; it was almost as if she knew something that he didn't.

Geralt let out a deep sigh, there was no telling where the bard could possibly be. Which confused Geralt, there was no way the Jaskier had left Kaer Morhen, right? He shook the thought from his head, there's no way that Jaskier left, if he had he would at least told Geralt to his face or at least left a note. He wanted to believe that there had to be a reasonable explanation where his bard is, but he couldn't come up with any sensible answers.

"Geralt, I've heard you brought a bard with you? Where is he? I would like to have some music with my meal. Or has he been scared off by us Witchers?" Lambert remarked cheekily. Geralt gave a quick look Ciri who gave him an apologetic smile.

"Lambert." Vesemir asserted, a warning for him to back off. He then turned to Geralt, "Your bard is probably asleep Geralt. The journey here is never easy, especially since your bard is a human, the air pressure is different up here compared at the bottom of the mountain. Ciri and Yennefer always seem to sleep for a while once they first arrive. He shouldn't be any different. How about this if he doesn't show up to breakfast tomorrow, we can help you look for him." Vesemir gently smiled towards Geralt, giving him comfort to his son.

"Thank you." Geralt decided that he would let Jaskier to be mysterious today, one day wouldn't hurt anything. Besides he would show up tomorrow, hungry from not eating anything tonight, there was no possible way that Jaskier would dare to even skip two meals in a row. Vesemir was right, he almost always was. Jaskier did in fact show up to breakfast. He looked tired, not surprising being somewhere entirely new. What made he worried though was that Jaskier was about to faceplant right into his porridge. "Jaskier?" Geralt uttered.

"Huh?" The bard responded. He looked dazed, something was not right with him. Geralt just didn't know what, he didn't know much about humans, even after all these years.

"Are you okay? you look like you are one nod away from having porridge as a new fashion accessory rather than for breakfast."

Jaskier stretched out his arm, before grabbing the spoon in his bowl, "Yes, well, you know how sleeping in unfamiliar places can be. I didn't get much sleep last night as you can already tell."

"Which room did you end up deciding to stay in?" Geralt tried to ask nonchalantly as possible.

"Oh, I think it was on the third floor? there were a lot of doors, so I will have to search for it again after breakfast." He stared down at his food, "Is your offer for the tour still on the table?" Jaskier pleaded within himself that Geralt would take the bait. He did not want Geralt to bring up anything about last night and how they couldn't find him or that he had missed dinner. Maybe putting up the glamour was not the right move? or was it? He didn't even know anymore.

Geralt raised his eyebrow, "I did offer you a tour, did I not?"

Ciri became excited, "Can I come along too?" She beamed at Geralt. Even though she has met Jaskier on numerous occasions. However, it's not like she knows him as well as Geralt, or Yen, Eskel, Lambert, and Vesemir. This could give her a chance to find out what Geralt has been up to since she last saw him, he never really shares any details of his journey with her. Just the important facts, and she knew that since Jaskier is a bard and a storyteller at that he would have plenty of tales to tell.

Geralt looked over Cirilla, he would have given in on any other day to her whims but today is different. Geralt needed to talk to Jaskier privately, and this could possibly the only way he could do so. "Don't you have to train?" He asked her.

She let out a soft, "Oh, yeah, you're right," before she grew quiet and started to eat her morning meal once again.

"Why don't we take a break from training today, Ciri." Yennefer offered.

"Yen." Geralt fumed.

"Geralt." She retorted.

"Fine, howbeit, Ciri you will be training after I give Jaskier his tour." Geralt couldn't keep arguing and making excuses to keep her away, so he gave in.

"You won't regret it." She cheered in victory with a smile beaming from her face.

Geralt sent a scowl over to Yen, who just shrugged in response. Jaskier—the poor soul—was not even paying attention to the conversation at hand as he was busy trying not to succumb to his sleepiness. It was still early in the day, he would wake up sooner or later.

After breakfast was concluded, Jaskier followed Geralt around as he explained what all of the floors were. He was feeling better after actually eating his food rather than trying to sleep in.  At the very least now he can be attentive to Geralt's explanations.  At least he was trying to pay attention, Ciri distracted him with her questions about Geralt and their travels. Curiosity shone brightly within her, and he could not resist to tell her all about their travels.

Geralt took notice of this and coughed. Jaskier and Ciri both stopped walking. "Maybe you should start your training now Ciri." Geralt asserted.

"But Geralt." Ciri pleaded.

"No Buts,"

She stomped her foot and puffed up her cheeks in protest. Realizing that throwing a tantrum would only make it worse she turned around and made her way to the training yard to take her frustration out on the straw dummies.

"Wow Geralt, I never thought that you had it in you." Jaskier remarked. He has never seen Geralt treat Ciri like that before, but just from that short interaction, Jaskier knew that the White Wolf deeply cared for the Lion Cub.

"What? To be a complete and utter arse to Ciri?" Geralt scoffed. He could be an ass, but he tried to hold his tongue even just a little bit around her. That came a price though, indulging her too much would give her a sense of arrogance and entitlement, something that he wholly wants to avoid.

"No, to be a father." Jaskier quipped back. There was a short silence between them, before Jaskier continued talking to fill the space. "What else is there to see anyway? We have to have at least a few more floors." With that Geralt continued to show Jaskier around the fortress, but he could not get this uneasy feeling to go away.

Finally, their tour concluded with the library. Jaskier's eyes lit up in amazement by the sheer number of books that the library held. Selves upon shelves, a large table in the center of the room, and a vast number of windows for natural sunlight to come through.

"This place was damaged a long time ago, but Vesemir has made it his mission to rebuild this place, so there might be some rubble here and there, but otherwise safe." Geralt began, "There should be a few books about music, and some about fairy tales that might pique your interest."

Jaskier made his way to one of the many shelves and started to read some of the titles on the spines. "Do you think there might be some stories on the fae?" He questioned.

Geralt drew closer to him, "I don't see why not, but why would you want to read stories about them?" He questioned.

"Oh, no reason, just curious is all." Jaskier sputtered an excuse. He cursed himself in his head for sounding so defensive about his Witcher's question. He wondered how the humans thought about the fae, how much they knew about his kind. How much that Geralt potentially knew about him if his secret were ever to be exposed.

Geralt didn't respond other than his usual 'hmmm' before picking a book off of the shelf that they were standing at. He gave the book a quick look over before placing it into Jakier's hands. "It seems you might find this one interesting." He said as he started to walk away. "Before I forget...You can access this library at any time, same with the hot springs. We don't really have a need to keep those places locked up. I'm going to go check up on Ciri, you will be coming to dinner tonight, right?"

"What do you take me for? I can't miss the chance to keep this lovely voice from going dull from not practicing all winter." Jaskier crowed. He might call himself a humble bard, but he was anything but.

"Alright then," The door closed with a loud creak as Geralt left leaving Jaskier to explore the library all by himself.

Jaskier took a closer look at the book Geralt gave him. The title read The Fae: Mythical Creatures or Fairy Tales, something exactly what he was looking for. "Perfect," he exclaimed.

When dinner time came around Jaskier kept his promise to have dinner with them all, including his magnificent singing voice. He drank as much wine as he could with his meal, wine was like a luxury to him. He soon got used to the weird, unfamiliarly bitter taste after a while. He has had way worse ales and this wine was like a milk and honey compared to what those innkeepers called booze during his travels. After they ate the Witchers moved the enormous tables to clear a space that would be their dance floor. As Jaskier started to sing everyone began to dance, he started off with all of his best hits. Geralt first danced with Ciri, but as the night progressed, he started to dance with Yennefer.

There was a very small prick in his heart, even so he kept going until he reached the climax of his performance. Beads of sweat started to pour from his face, and he felt breathless by the time it was over. Yet he forced himself to keep going, the song became faster as he became even more intertwined with the lyrics, with watching them dance together. Once he got to the end of his song, he ended it with the final swipe of his lute signaling that the end of their dance.

Jaskier breathed heavily trying not to look at the ground, his vision became hazy, but no one was paying attention to him. Everyone's eyes were on Geralt and Yennefer, Ciri clapped at their performance, and the rest of the Witchers raised their drinks to them. Geralt and Yennefer were looking deep into each other's eyes. But Jaskier? Something was wrong, his head started to become dizzy and his legs weak. Was it something that he ate? drank? He needed to get out of here; he couldn't faint here. In his desperate attempts to hide his symptoms from everyone he placed a glamour over himself, it's weak but it should hold for a few minutes.

He couldn't disappear on them again; he had to show them that he was fine. That there is no reason for them to worry about a silly bard wanting to go to sleep after a grand performance. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he called out to them. "What a grand performance, I'm going to go to bed now. Tired from all of the excitement you know, well then, see you in the morning."

Lambert called out, "Oh come now bard, one more song for the lovely couple wouldn't hurt." What Lambert said certainly got the pairs' attention as they then let each other go—flustered. Even though Geralt didn't let it show Jaskier could tell, he always could, he still has feelings for Yen, but he just doesn't want to admit it.

Another prick, this time it hurt even more, he just wanted to go to bed and curl up in his blankets. He didn't want to be standing up anymore, he wanted to rest, but it seems that would not be happening anytime soon.

Ciri agreed with lambert and started to beg, "Please Jaskier, can your last song be a love song." Jaskier looked into the cub's bright emerald-green eyes.

He ignored his symptoms, hoping no one would notice. "A love song then," Jaskier bowed before Ciri, and he went into a gentle melody. This time Yen asked for Geralt to dance, and he did not decline the invitation. Jaskier didn't have many love songs, most folk wanted songs about dirty humor or heroic tales, not ballads of romance. Still, he had written this one, a story about an unrequited love and how those feelings were buried as time went on, only to find out later that the feeling was mutual, giving the story a happy ending. A too good to be true ending, but an ending, nonetheless. Something that had once wished for himself but now realizes that it is never going to happen.

Tears started to well up in his eyes from the pain, he hoped the others wouldn't notice and only think that he was being emotional because of the song. Yen leaned her head on Geralt's breast as they danced along to Jaskier's song. It looked as though they themselves came out of a fairy tale. The pricks in his chest became deeper and more prominent, his heart felt as though it was going to stop.

Jaskier gave a bow and graciously thanked his audience before leaving the hall. He didn't look at Ciri, Yen, Geralt, anyone, he just left. He did not wait for any sort of applause, he felt as though he was going to fall over any second. Once the doors closed behind him, his glamour faded. He fell to his knees, as he placed his free hand over his heart. He started to take in deep breaths, and his tears fell to the ground. When his breathing steadied enough, he started to make his way to his room, as long as his legs didn't give out by the time he got there, he should be fine. At least that's what he hoped for.

Each step he took was more painful than the last, and now his arms felt like they were about to fall off. He bit his lip every time he wanted to cry out in pain. "What in the Melitele is going on with me?" He cried out.

When he got to the room he dropped right down on the floor, trying to catch his breath as he changed back.

His Brown hair changed to white; his rounded ears became slightly pointed and cornflower blue eyes changed to an icy blue. Then his wings appeared, almost like a butterfly, while the bottom of his wings are rounded out, the top half is slender and pointed. They were translucent and looked blue, pink and green all at the same time depending on where the light shone on his wings.

It took about a minute before he started to feel a little better, but there was no way he is going to be able to leave his room tomorrow. His ears started to buzz, Jaskier let out a pained laugh, "Well, I tried, but it looks like they are going to worry about me tomorrow." But what in the world is making him have this reaction, he thought back to breakfast, all he had was porridge, then to dinner the food was completely fine, there was nothing wrong with it. Then in a stark moment of realization, the thought back to the wine.

It was the wine; it had to be. He started to ruminate on the taste, and how bitter it was. Rowan berries, that's what the wine was made out of. He has heard of these berries used off as a ward, but he never knew how it affected the fae if they ate it. Looks like he found out, pain and torture, like his chaos was being dwindling to an unmeasurable degree, and he had a lot of wine on top of that. He would curse himself, but the wine was doing just fine on that end for him.

If he were to let down his glamour, there was a high chance that someone would see him. But if he didn't there was no telling what might happen to him. Fae are made from chaos, and without it they are nothing, and they cease to exist. This could have been his last night alive for all he knew, just like that one fairy tale that told of a mermaid princess and her unrequited love. Maybe his fate would be similar.

His vision became even worse, small colorful dots now blurred his surroundings, 'No wonder why the pricks in my chest became worse, my chaos was fading.' He thought to himself before his world became dark. 

Chapter Text

When morning came and breakfast was served, the morning was everything but quiet and silence was something that Geralt deeply wished for. However, being in a Witcher keep that is a wish that is something as distant as the stars in the night sky. Even so, the morning meal went smoothly, Ciri mentioned how excited she was for her test tomorrow, and Geralt smiled softly. These feelings of fatherhood never felt like a burden to him, at least that was until he met Ciri. He has only grown into his role, and there was a sense of pride in him when Jaskier told him that he was a father to her. Breakfast may have been unbearable from his standpoint, he would never miss it, especially for Ciri. These little moments are what he looks forward to and he cherishes every single one.

As he started to leave the hall, he realized something was missing. He turned around and looked around the dining hall once again, taking in all of the scents and the scene. Jaskier wasn't there, there was only a faint fragrance of the bard. How did he not realize until now? How did he not realize that the last time that he was here was last night? He tried to think about how Jaskier was acting, but he couldn't remember how he was. Geralt could only remember what he felt in those moments.

He actually felt a bit of joy that everything was okay, no one was dying, and they were enjoying themselves freely without worry. First, he danced with Ciri, she was laughing as she started to tell him all about her training with Yen and how her failures turned into lessons for her to improve upon herself. As the night progressed, his dance partners changed, and he eventually started to dance with Yen as Ciri took a break on the sidelines.

"Surprising meeting you here," Yen joked. "I never took you for the dancing type."  Geralt only learned to dance as a necessity for social occasions, not that he went to many of those. He was mainly dragged to those events as protection because of all of the women Jaskier potentially slept with. However, he would be lying if he did not enjoy making excuses for him when the occasion arose when someone was trying to figure out who the bard was and why he looked so familiar.

"I don't," Geralt responded as he kept the pace of Jaskier's music. He would never admit it to the bard, but he was thankful that his playing didn't suck as much as it did when they first met.

"Oh, so touchy. But no, really, how have you been Geralt?" She mused. Yen could create any number of portals to check up on him and Jaskier, but she never does. The reason why is because of Ciri; she does not want to distract her from her training.

"There is nothing to tell, it is the same as always. Traveling from town to town, taking contracts, trying to keep Jaskier out of danger." Geralt is not one to change his plans drastically, and he maintains a strict schedule that he follows. Go to a new town, take a contract, kill the creature that is plaguing the town, save Jaskier from danger—or himself, and then leave. There have been only a couple of times where he actually went against this routine, Ciri being one of many of these instances, but it has not happened much compared to amount of time they have spent on their journey.

"He does have a tendency to do that," she let out a soft giggle. As they kept dancing, Jaskier's music kept its fast pace to go faster, and so they became swift in their movements. With their only signal being the final stum of Jaskier's lute did they know to stop dancing across the floor as if they were ripples within a lake.

Just as they were steadying their breathing, Lambert made a comment about them being a couple, so they quickly let go of one another out of embarrassment. They were not a couple, and they wanted to make that distinction abundantly clear. However, even though they are just friends, that relationship becomes misconstrued as men and women cannot be friends, they have to be lovers.

So, when Jaskier was pressured into singing a love song, Geralt was not going to dance. He did not want to dance if he did not have his preferred dancing partner, but he was utterly baffled when Yen asked him for a dance. For a split second he thought of declining the dance but went against his initial decision after looking into her bright violet eyes.

As they made their way back out onto the floor, she laid her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Geralt." She whispered. Geralt gave a confused hum as a response as he looked down at her. "Even though our romantic relationship ended, I am thankful for this platonic one. I am thankful that I can stay by Ciri's side and teach her all that I know. I am thankful for having a family." She looked up at him. "And you deserve to be happy too; you do not have to push anyone away just because you are afraid of getting hurt. Those feelings are a part of what it means to be alive." As she said that the music ended, and they parted from one another.

Jaskier had retired for the night, and it was up to him and the rest of the Witchers to move the tables back to how they originally were before Vesemir started to yell at them for being lazy. So, to avoid getting an earful he stayed behind and helped his brothers.

As Geralt remembered the previous night's events, he could not recall what Jaskier looked like. A sense of worry started to grow within him. He knew that he needed to find Jaskier immediately. The White Wolf turned back around and was going to search the entire keep from the bottom to the very top, until he finds his bard.

"What are you so worried for Geralt?" Eskel asked catching up to his brother. There were no secrets that they would keep from one another, if a question was asked then an honest answer was given. That was their own promise to one another, even if it could lead to danger or not.

"Jaskier, he didn't show up for breakfast." Geralt told him. There were times where Jaskier would disappear for days or even weeks at a time. It was nothing new to Geralt. However, Jaskier would always tell Geralt that he was leaving for a period of time, Jaskier was not the type to just leave without notice.

"He must have had too much vine last night," Eskel told his brother. "If anything, he could have drank any of us under the table if we kept up with his pace. Then he decided to start singing on top of that. He is probably exhausted. Let him rest." He started to pat Geralt on the back as a way to sooth him.

"A human is still but a human, drinking that much rowan berry wine will take any human out." Lambert let out a chuckle. Geralt let out a low hum, he was not in the mood for Lambert's snarky remarks against his friend. "Anyways, I saw the way that you looked at Yennefer of Vengerberg last night. You two have history."

"There is nothing to tell Lambert." Geralt grunted. Lambert hit right on the bullseye, not that Geralt would tell his brothers. Digging up old wounds was one thing he hated doing, and he certainly was not going to do that here and now. Especially when Ciri is so close to him, he did not want to complicate any of his relationships further. He and Yen are over their past romantic relationship with one another and are happy with their platonic one.

"Oh, Geralt, you know that's a lie. Especially when it feels like Ciri is your guys' daughter." He teased. Lambert was not going to let this go, being the annoying younger brother that he is. Ever since Geralt knew his brother Lambert has always been like this, once he found something that he can tease about he will do so until he grows tired of it. The best course of action is just to ignore him and go about daily life if in need of quicker results.

Geralt let out a deep sigh, he really did not want to deal with this so early in the morning. Yet, he did not want to ignore this, as Lambert will eventually move onto teasing Yen, and even start gossiping with Ciri. Something that he does not wish for to happen, as Ciri could get ideas that will not even come true. "Yen and I do not have that kind of relationship. We are friends, nothing more." Geralt growled. They are both parents to Ciri in vastly different ways, and all the Witchers know it. For Yen, Ciri is a daughter that she will never be able to conceive, and Geralt, is the child he never knew he wanted. They both get something out of Ciri, while she remained blissfully unaware of how they first thought about her.

Lambert put his hands up in the air as a sign of defeat. "Whatever you say brother." He said before walking off to another area of the keep.

"It is said that fairies are warded off by the use of rowan berries." Eskel mentioned. "Maybe we are keeping your bard away." He joked. He wanted to keep Geralt's mind off of Lambert and his comments. He knew that Lambert does this every season, trying to push his brother and the sorcerous together, but he has become even pushier this season.

Greatly to Eskel's hope, it worked. "You know that the fairies are not real Eskel, you yourself should know that." Geralt said as they kept their stride. "Those fae only exist in fairy tales." He thought back to Jaskier and the book he gave him.

Eskel grinned, "Is that what you believe Geralt?" Compared to Geralt Eskel is the one to keep an open mind about how there could be unknown creatures to the world. After all, all they know is only recorded down because someone either survived to tell the tale or someone trying to tell an interesting tale, and to be candid, it was the latter.

"Is it not the truth?" Geralt was always taught at a young age that wraiths, banshees, kikimoras, strigas, and many other creatures all exist, never once has he been told about fairies actually being real.

"It is believed that the fae live in a world all of their own, time moving differently compared to here. Additionally, it is said that one should not eat any of the fairy fruit, for there is a chance to be stuck in the fairy world."

Geralt let out a chuckle, "I do suppose that would be an inconvenience to a Witcher."

"Indeed, it does." Eskel laughed, "You'll find your bard Geralt, he may be strange, but he has a good heart." As they started to make their way to the upper floors, the air started to become colder with each passing step. "Did someone leave a window open?"

Geralt's reply was just a low hum, something wasn't right. They kept their pace to the second floor; the chilly air became more apparent. To look for the draft they started opening doors to check the rooms, a few were locked, but that was to be expected. If they found nothing wrong with any of the open rooms, then they would just have to mention it later at dinner.

The last door was at the end of the hallway, a dead end. If it felt freezing on the stairs, then they were standing right in front of the blizzard. Then Geralt smelled it, fresh pine and cinnamon, "He's in there." Geralt said without any doubt in his voice.

Eskel looked at Geralt before looking back at the door, "I suppose you want to check on him yourself." Without so much as a word of a reply, Geralt walked in, and Eskel stood outside the door as if he were guarding them. The cold air was even more apparent in the room, than it was in the hallway. The room looked as though the first frost had decided to consume the room instead of the ground outside.

Jaskier brown hair and all laid tightly squeezed into a ball on the floor. Geralt knelt down to him and started to listen for his heartbeat, as he confirmed that his bard was still alive, carefully he moved him to the bed. The glacial temperature of Jaskier's body could be felt right through his clothes. His body was so cold that Geralt almost dropped him back down to the floor, "How could his body be so cold?" He muttered to himself.

Geralt then pulled the covers and quickly put Jaskier underneath them. He did not even bother in removing his shoes or extra clothes before sliding the covers back over him. Jaskier's face and hair were drenched in sweat as though he was on fire. His face was scrunched as he shivered underneath the covers, and he unconsciously went back into a fetal position like he was trying to protect himself. Soft sounds of whimpering came from him, as if he were not really there.

Turning to the window Geralt checked it to see if it was accidentally left open, but there was nothing, so he started to look at the stone. He took a few minutes observing before deciding that Jaskier was the cause of the chilly temperatures. He needed to get Yen and Vesemir, they might know what is wrong with his human. Leaving the room, he saw Eskel still standing outside of the door. "How is it in there?" Eskel inquired.

"We need Yennefer and Vesemir, something is wrong with Jaskier." Eskel gave a quick nod before leaving to go find the sorcerous and the old Witcher. Geralt went back into the room to look after Jaskier the best he could, which was not much. He looked around the room, there was not much upon his first initial walkthrough, but upon further inspection Geralt noticed that Jaskier's lute laid on the floor right where its owner was just lying. Without thinking Geralt picked up the instrument and moved it towards the desk, right where Jaskier left the book that Geralt gave him.

He glanced at it as he set the lute down before picking up the book and fluttering through the pages, until one caught his eye. It read: "Fairies do not have a lot of weakness, however that does not mean they do not have any at all. Fairies are weak to iron (more specifically cold iron and salt but if unable to gather iron or salt there are plenty of other ways as well. Firstly, do not allow fairies into your home, however if you do allow them into your home do not give them your name and try to either gain their true name. Fairies are obsessed with names, as names hold power." Before Geralt could read further, Yennefer burst through the door and immediately went to bed to check on Jaskier's temperature. As Geralt looked up, he saw that Vesemir was not far behind, but he was still beaten to the room by a few paces.

He was thankful that Eskel only brought Vesemir and Yen, Lambert would have said some snarky comment that would have asked for him to get beat up by Geralt, and Ciri while she knew how to use her chaos, she is still too eager in trying to use it.

"What happened?" Yennefer asked as Geralt put the book back down on the desk next to the lute and moved closer to Jaskier.

"He was lying on the floor freezing, so I moved him to the bed." He simply stated, "It seems as though he has been like this for a while, so it could have happened right after he retired for the night yesterday."

"Has this room always been freezing?" Vesermir asked as he walked in. Eskel stood outside the door, there was not much room for three people, much less four. "Is there no fireplace in this room?" He asked.

"It was not like this two days ago when I came here with Ciri to find him, and there isn't." Geralt replied.

"Could he have come in contact with a mage that could have cast a curse on him at any point during your travels?" Yen questioned as she looked up at Geralt. She wanted to get all of the possibilities, all the facts that she could get. She herself has never seen something this harsh before, this was like an outburst of chaos, chaos running rampant with no sign of stopping. Something that will kill Jaskier if they do not stop it and fast.

Geralt thought back over the last few weeks, he remembered the last monster he killed was a wraith, but Jaskier was back at the inn when that happened. Then the journey to Kaer Morhen was uneventful, Roach allowed Jaskier to pet her once or twice as he bribed her with apples when he wasn't looking, but that did not have anything to do with a curse. "No, nothing."

Yen looked back at Jaskier before looking back at Geralt, "I hate to say it Geralt, but I have a feeling that Jaskier might not be human." Once those words left Yen's lips, Geralt feel as if the uncertainty that he has been feeling for years finally release. All the doubts that he once felt but pushed aside because there was no way that Jaskier could be anything but a weak human. "I need to go through his memories and see what he knows."

Geralt gave a slight nod before backing away from the bed, Vesemir just watched in silence. As Yennefer placed her hands on Jaskier's temple, her fingers felt numb from the cold. He was like an icicle that was in the deepest parts of a snowy mountain. She pushed through the pain and tried to take a glimpse in his mind for the answers she was looking for.

Jaskier trembled as Yen sorted through his memories, Yennefer felt muddled, as though there were too many to look through, but she knew she had to preserver, for Jaskier. She dug deep in the earlier memories that belonged to the bard. Flashes of memories surrounded her, the cold finally felt inviting to her, like she belonged. Finally, it became clear to her who, or at least what, Jaskier was. She then moved onto more recent memories, starting from the previous night.

She remembered the meal that was served, venison steak with wine, she felt how it tasted unfamiliar upon Jaskier's tongue but despite that he kept drinking. afterward as dinner ended, the festivities began and Jaskier started to play his lute, everything was fine. Then she felt what Jaskier was feeling in those insufferable moments in time. She felt the pain in her chest as the music kept playing, the feeling her arms starting to tingle as if her blood were turning to fire. The heat burning through her body, making her knees weak, tears welled up in her eyes, trying to control her emotions. She wanted to scream, but nothing would come out.

Time passed by once again and Jaskier made it to his room, there was a relief from the pain, and she saw his true form. Yennefer felt her body was being drained of her chaos, then as the memory progressed. 'It was the wine, it had to be,' she thought to herself, 'but what kind of wine was it?' Yennefer could usually gather the thoughts that someone was thinking, but Jaskier was blocking her, so she had to make do with the information that she had on hand. She could see the events as they are and feel what he was feeling, but other than that she had to make her own inferences about what he could have possibly thought about his situation.

As Jaskier fell to the floor and started to blackout the glamour that he once had around the room faded, and Yen felt a small relief from the pain. However, that did not satisfy her, she wanted to know why now he was in his human form and how he ended up in that state. Time passed, Jaskier finally slightly opened his eyes and let out a whispered, "shit." before his white hair changed to brown, and his wings disappeared from view. A pressure was placed upon her, then his chaos exploded, and the room looked as though it was through a blizzard, then she heard voices beyond the bedroom door before she saw Geralt stamp in and quickly make his way to Jaskier. With her questions answered, she steadily returned to her self-conscious.

As Yen opened her eyes, she felt Geralt's stares. "I would appreciate it if you would stop staring," She exhaled. Geralt changed his fixated point to Jaskier before Yen continued. "Better," Yennefer turned to the Witchers that were standing behind her. "I was right, Jaskier wasn't human, but...he is something that is thought to be a fairy tale." She started to explain. She didn't want to shock Geralt, but she needed her questions answered first. Geralt could go through his feelings about his bard later.

"Like what?" Geralt asked, he was in no mood for guessing games, and especially right now.

"Do you know what kind of wine was served last night?" She questioned. She loved listening to fairy tales even before her time at Aretuza, it was just one of the ways she could escape from her home life. She continued in reading these fairy tales during her time there, learning all she could about the fae folk that surrounded the continent.

"Rowan berry, it went well with the venison," Vesemir replied.

The color drained from Yennefer's face before looking back to Jaskier. "We need to stop him."

"Stop him from what?" Geralt was trying to keep calm, but he was slowly becoming more and more panicked.

Yen turned back to Geralt, "He's a fairy," she let out, "we need him to change back into his fairy form, or else he might very well die." Geralt looked into Yen's eyes, there was no reason for her to lie to him, and he knew it.

"Please, save him," He let out.

"Isn't that what I have been trying to do this entire time?" She huffed as she moved back to Jaskier. Once again, she placed her fingers on his temple, this time she did not flinch from the cold. She weaved through Jaskier's memories, and started to manipulate Jaskier's thoughts, trying to let him let go of his hold on his transformation. Swaying him like that of a lullaby that he heard from long ago in his mother's arms, making him feel safe, once he transformed back in his head, she knew her mission was over.

Once she returned back to the realm of the real, she looked at Jaskier, his face was no longer in pain, but he was soaked in sweat. His white hair looked that of snow, and his wings laid right underneath him. Yen looked back at the Witchers who were watch Jaskier in awe. Geralt was a man of not so many words, but even he was at a loss for them. Yennefer smiled at them and simply told them, "Get out, I have a patient. And you are useless." Before either of the Witchers could even protest Yen pointed at the door, and they slowly made their way out.

Yennefer was Jaskier's only hope at the moment, and she truly hoped that she could save the bard this time. 

Chapter Text

Yennefer looked around the room, trying to piece together what she could possibly do for him. Taking a deep breath she got to work, she let her chaos flow out of her in two different ways. The first was to ease the pain, the second was to heal the damage caused to Jaskier by the rowan berry wine. Her fingers started to slowly stiffen as numbness set in from the sheer chill of the room, yet she still persisted in helping her friend. She can heal her fingers later, but she can’t revive the dead. After healing Jaskier as much as she could at the moment, she finally moved on to changing him back to his fairy state. 

As the Witchers waited behind the door, Geralt grew antsy not knowing what would await him once Yen was done. Vesemir let out a stifled cough, “I will be in the library doing more research or I will be in the lab if you need me. If rowan berries are poisonous to fairies, then there may very well be a cure for them as well.” The hardy steps of the old Witcher swiftly fell silent. 

“I am going to go collect Ciri and Lambert to help clean the hallways. What will you do while you wait, Geralt?” Eskel asked. Knowing how much his brother cares about his friend, he wanted to make sure Geralt was okay before leaving him. 

Geralt started to lean against the wall, “I’m staying.” Staring intently at the door was not going to do him any good and he knew it, but there was nothing that he could do to take his mind off of Jaskier and the secrets he has been keeping all these years. 

Eskel walked back up to his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder, “I understand. Do you want me to take care of Roach for you?” 

The corners of Geralt’s mouth raised softly, “thank you, Eskel.” 

Eskel smiled at his brother, “Only for you brother,” he said as he left to grab Ciri and Lambert leaving Geralt with his thoughts. 

Yennefer took another deep breath, quieting her mind of the sounds surrounding her, and only thinking of one thing—connecting herself to Jaskier. If she wanted to forcibly make Jaskier change back she had to go back into his mind, slowly she dove in. Letting the flow take her, she didn’t want to fight him, but he will not be able to hold this state for long. Slowly she searched for him, it was dark, there was nothing in sight. Then there was an unexplainable iciness that set in underneath her skin. “That must be him,” she said to herself as she decided to follow her instincts. Soon instead of floating in nothingness she was walking inside what seemed to be an ice cavern. Torches lined the wall, but the ice did not budge from the heat. The temperature, although cold to the point where Yen was able to see her breath, felt like a blanket of warmth. 

She continued to walk the never-ending cavern, then there was a door. She looked behind it, the cavern eternal in its frozen cavity. So she opened it, and she was met with an end to the endless underground chamber. She scanned around the room, there was nothing that could remotely lead her to Jaskier. Just as she was about to leave, a shimmer caught her eye, something so small that she couldn’t even tell what it was from where she was standing, so she started to make her way towards it. As she drew closer, there was a silence between her and her mind, like if she made any sort of noise she would completely lose this moment. 

Once she came close enough, she bent down to the ground and her eyes saw that it was wings that she saw, tiny wings. Attached to those wings was a small body of a fairy with white hair sleeping. His clothes were simple, yet as if it came from a story book. His shirt was that of a light blue leaf that had short sleeves, a V-neck collar, and veins that seemed to be leaf-like. Then his pants and boots were a shade darker but still had that same leaf-like texture to them. 

Without knowing much, Yen knew this to be Jaskier, she knelt down and carefully she picked him up, she smirked at him. Knowing this would probably be the last time she would see Jaskier this vulnerable she decided to poke his tiny cheek with the tip of her finger. She stifled her laugh as she began to gently wake up the sleeping fairy.  “Jaskier,” she said gently, “you need to wake up now.” 

Without much effort, the tiny fairy’s bright icy blue eyes opened up, rubbing his eyes and he stared up at Yennefer. “What?” He started to question his surroundings, still drowsy from his sleep. As Jaskier became more stable, he recognized the owner of the face that was holding him. “Yennefer? What are you doing here?...Why are you so big?” He asked as he looked down at himself, and then to her. When his eyes caught a glimpse of his wings, panic started to set in. A nervous laughter left him, “This isn’t a spell gone wrong right?” Panic started to set in, he wasn’t unconscious for that long. Has he? Knowing Geralt he wouldn’t have gone up to check on him for just missing one meal. 

Yen pressed her lips together, “Jaskier, I—we—know your secret…you’re a fairy. More specifically a winter fairy.” 

His wings and head fell in frustration, a secret that he had been keeping from Geralt for decades, and Yennefer of Vengerburg is the one to find out about it. “How…how did you and the others find out?” Jaskier lifted his head, he could guess the reason as to how, but he wanted to hear it from her. As he waited for her answer, he couldn’t help but start to flutter his wings, then he was flying over Yennefer’s palm. He hated staying still, even if he was just in his own mind. 

“Geralt found you, you were passed out. We are currently in your subconscious…I need you to let me change you back.” Yen wanted to keep it short and concise, but Jaskier the fool that he is did not want to go that route. 

“Or what? I’ll die?” Jaskier laughed, “I’ve been through a lot of life-threatening scenarios, more than you could ever imagine, but none of them actually were able to do the deed. I mean, if I had succumbed to death, I would have died a long, and I truly mean a long time ago.” Not to mention that he has had a very good lucky streak going on avoiding death so far, so good in fact that he lost count. 

“Jaskier, this is serious, you had a lot of rowan berries, and they were concentrated into a wine.” Yen did not want to play games, not right now. “It’s basically like poison to you, no scratch that. It is poison to you. Do you even know how many glasses you had? Then you had an outburst of chaos, and your chaos is slowly draining because you are trying to maintain your human disguise. This could actually kill you.” Yennefer was never one to soften her words, even in these moments, and Jaskier needed this. He needed to know the severity of the trouble that he had gotten in this time. “Jaskier, I don’t want you to die, especially since I am spending my time trying to save your sorry arse.” 

The bard was at a loss for words, “But if I do that…then everyone would find out my secret.” A secret that was easily unraveled by a simple wine, that if he just avoided it he would have kept up the secret until he parted with his Witcher forever. But, even after all these years he still forgets from time to time that humans have a way of inventing new ideas for creations.  “I don’t want to be…hated.” The word ‘hate’ left him slowly, trying to figure out a better word for killed. Geralt even after knowing that he wasn’t human, he wouldn’t kill him, right? After all the years they shared together, he might kick him out of Kaer Morhen, out of his life, but surely he wouldn’t be put to death…right? 

Jaskier imagined the one thing that frightened him the most, Geralt pushing his iron sword right through his heart, as he said, “I am happy to be rid of you.” That would be the worst way to go, being betrayed by someone whom you thought was your friend. 

Yen pulled him back to the reality of the situation. “They already know. Jaskier, Geralt is worried about you.” Jaskier watched and heard the sincerity of her words as they left her lips. “He doesn’t want to see you hurting like you are right now. He does not want any harm to come to you, his best friend” She felt as though she was about to cry, as her eyes grew watery. How could she get it through him that his life mattered more than what the others thought about his secret identity? “Please, just let me help you.” She pleaded. 

He looked deep into Yennefer’s violet eyes, and Jaskier knew from the very deep of his core, she was not lying to him. He let out a sad smile. While he knew he would always be second in Geralt’s heart, it did not matter to him what Geralt and her relationship was to one another, all he knew was that Geralt cared enough about him to still even be alive. That’s all that really mattered to him at the moment. "Okay, but I’m not sure how long I will be unconscious for. So while I am in my true form, I need you to promise me that I will not be harmed under any circumstances.”  But a fairy was still a fairy, and vague word play will always be in his favor. For Jaskier, even if he truly wanted to trust Yen, there was no telling what the other Witchers would do once she turned her back. This was just an extra precaution to protect himself from never being able to wake up ever again. 

“You’re not going to shrink when you change back are you?” She asked. 

Jaskier laughed again, but this time it was lighter, “Oh no, that takes a lot more chaos then just changing back to my original appearance.” 

“Alright then, I promise that no harm will come to you.” Yen smiled as the deal was made, and a bright light shone, she closed her eyes tight to keep the light from blinding her. Once the light dissipated, she opened her eyelids to see that she was back in Jaskier’s room, and he was in his fairy form.  Yennefer opened the door to Jaskier's room, and Geralt was standing right outside, waiting. A still silence came down upon them. 

Geralt broke it first, “Vesemir left to go to the library to do some research on fairies to see if there was any more lore that they might need to know about. Eskel left to get Lambert and Ciri so they can help clean the ice.” 

"Ah, so research and cleaning duty," Geralt nodded in confirmation. Yen glanced back at Jaskier, a worry flashed over her, but she buried it. The worry sunk into her stomach, the promise Jaskier asked for played in her thoughts over and over, but against her better judgement she stepped aside to allow Geralt to walk in. 

 As Geralt advanced closer to the bard’s body, his amber eyes examined every inch of him. “How is his condition?” 

Yen sent him a passive aggressive smile before looking back at her patient. “He seems to be doing okay, although I would like to observe him for a few days. Currently he is in a weakened state, and  there was no telling how much damage the rowan berries caused, and how well and quickly his body was able to heal himself. With those large bursts of chaos it doesn’t seem like he will be able to leave the bed even if he were conscious right now.” 

As Yen explained the situation to Geralt, Eskel slowly made his way into the room, Roach was taken care of, and he double checked that Ciri and Lambert were progressing on their task as he made his way back to the bard’s room. While Ciri was eager to help, but Lambert on the other hand was not, he questioned as to why there was ice and snow inside Kaer Morhen. Eskel however was able to put him back in his place. 

Geralt listened to Jaskier’s breathing, it wasn’t great, but it was better than it was before, no longer shaking, but it was slower. His breaths were low and soft, with his chest barely moving to breathe. The rotten stench of pine and must had also lightened into a more less rotten like smell. Geralt placed his palm over the bard's forehead, he trusted Yen, but he wanted to see for himself on Jaskier's condition. “How long will he be unconscious for?” He asked, never taking his eyes off of his friend. The air was no longer freezing, however there was still a chill radiating from Jaskier's body,  but it was better than what it was when he first found him. 

Yen shook her head, “Even I don’t have the answer, but we may be waiting for a while.” She looked over to Eskel, “We need to move him to a closer room, even if he doesn’t need a fireplace to keep warm, he should still have a proper bed to sleep in.” A forgotten room in the keep was a perfect spot for a fairy to hide, at least if everything went according to plan. If only it wasn’t for the Witcher that was worried about his friend, and also Jaskier’s burst of chaos that encased part of Kaer Morhen in ice and snow. 

"He can rest in my room," Geralt told Yen. Geralt wanted to watch over his friend, no matter how long it would take for him to wake up. He just wanted to be near him. 

Yen let out a small smile, “Geralt, I know how much you care about him, but he should really sleep in his own room. Like I said, we don’t know when he will regain consciousness.  Yen let out a small sigh and looked away from the Witcher, "I wish I could do more for him...I'll have to get in contact with Triss." If only she was a little better in healing magic, then there could have been a possibility that Jaskier would be conscious by now. She did save him from the djinn but that was an entirely different situation, she was separating them, and at the time she thought he was human. A poisoned fairy is something else entirely to her. Two paths either try to heal Jaskier and his condition becomes worse than before, or let him ride it out and possibly die, really such great options. 

You did your best Yen," Geralt gently placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. There was nothing more for him to say, Geralt was lucky that Yennefer could even give a little relief to the bard. If she wasn’t here there was no telling what he would've done. 

Yen looked back up and met his gaze; his eyes were full of sorrow and concern. "Just be careful when you move Jaskier, his wings seem delicate." She told him before she left to go contact the other sorcerous. There was more, much more that she wanted to tell Geralt, but now was not the time to be telling him what she and Jaskier talked about. Now is the time to make sure that he recovers and safely. Even with the promise that she would keep him safe, there was an uneasiness to the deal that she made. 

He didn’t need to ask to be kept safe, after all these years there should already be a level of trust between them. Even with all her fairy tale readings, no matter how hard she tried to think of the reason, nothing came to her. Kaer Morhen is the safest place for him to be right now, and that is a fact that even Jaskier the fairy bard needs to come to terms with. So all Yen could do right now with the information she had was just to wait for Jaskier to wake up and then she could talk to him. A real conversation, none filled with his bullshit and avoidance tendencies. 

Gently, Geralt lifted Jaskier up from the bed, making sure to take heed of Yennefer's warning about his wings. "Eskel," Geralt said, and without another word, Eskel immediately helped his brother. Eskel took the bard, keeping him up so Geralt could place one arm underneath Jaskier's legs and the other across the top of his back, as if the bard was being cradled. 

Jaskier's head drooped down into himself as Geralt started to make his way to Jaskier’s new room. "He will be okay Geralt, your bard is in good hands, the mage did what she could, and now-" Eskel started to gather the bard’s things, if he were to magically wake up, he would just head back here for his stuff stressing himself out rather than resting in bed like he is supposed to be. 

Geralt cut off his brother, "and now, she has to get help from another mage because Jaskier is still unconscious." 

"He will be alright" Eskel said once again, "He is your bard after all, I am sure this hasn't been his only life-threatening situation." Eskel was right, like always. Even so, life and death situations never change, there is always the possibility of death coming to collect the life that once was. 

The last time Jaskier was on death’s door was when Geralt wished for Jaskier to shut up when they opened a bottle that held a powerful djinn. He could remember the events as if it was just a day ago. At the time, before he knew Ciri, how much he came to love her, when the Law of Surprise became a child surprise had hit him harder than a bolder rolling down a steep mountain. A memory that he only wished he could forget, if he could change time, he would have picked a better way to use his wish. But since he couldn’t change the past, he can only reflect on it and has. “That is exactly the problem, he keeps getting into these situations and there is nothing I can do to help him. I feel useless.” 

Eskel softly patted Geralt on his back so as not to disturb the bard, “You’re a Witcher Geralt, there are times where you have to be vulnerable and not on the defense.” Eskel could never feel the pain that Geralt is going through, but he could empathize with him through similar experiences. 

Geralt looked back down at Jaskier, “We should get him to his new room.” With Jaskier’s current condition it would be in the best interest of everyone if Jaskier had a room closer to Yennefer, as much as Geralt hated to admit it. They walked and the silence between them was as if they were on a hunt. Geralt kept checking on Jaskier’s breathing, and Eskel kept checking up on his brother, glancing at him, and watching his facial expressions towards the bard. 

Once they made it to an open room, Eskel opened the door, letting Geralt walk inside first so he could lay Jaskier in his new bed. Eskel watched how gentle his brother was, something he had never seen even with Yennefer or with Ciri. Carefully Geralt laid Jaskier’s head on the pillow before laying the rest of his body on top of the blankets. Eskel watched his brother as he fumbled around, trying to move the bard so he could get the blanket to lay on him. After a few moments, Eskel placed Jaskier’s belongings on the table across from his bed before heading over to them to help him out. 

As Eskel helped Geralt, he couldn’t help but say something. The silence was unbearable at this point to him, “he will be okay brother,” Geralt let out a low hum as a response, focusing on the task at hand.

Once Geralt was satisfied with tucking Jaskier in the bed, Eskel gave him another pat on the back and nodded his head towards the door. Geralt gave him a soft smile as he followed Eskel out of the room. Suddenly, Eskel had an idea to get Geralt’s mind off of Jaskier, “Why don’t we show Ciri how us Witchers spar, eh? I am sure that she would like it, after all you are training her in swordsmanship. I am sure she would love to see you in action after having to clean up all that ice and snow this morning.”

It did sound like a good idea to Geralt, “Sounds good.” He would be able to get a good spar and lessen the emotions of frustration, anger, and hatred toward himself out through a good spar at the very least. It was also a while since he has spared against another Witcher, it would be a good refresher for himself to remind him what he needs to work on for his hunts. 

Eskel slapped Geralt’s back, “Great, I’ll go grab the young pup, you head out to the training yard first. I am sure between her and Lambert they are pretty much done. I encouraged her to use a bit of her chaos to help with cleaning up.” Geralt gave his brother a look. “I thought it would be good practice for her considering the sorcerous would be somewhat busy helping your bard out, and look she has to go contact another sorcerous for help. So I have to say it worked out.” While Geralt would not like to admit it, Ciri really has grown in her training with Yen. 

When Geralt made his way outside, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply the brisk cold air in through his nostrils. There was something about winter at Kaer Morhen that felt as though nothing could ever change, yet, it is full of those unwanted reorientations. He held his breath for a few moments before letting it go, making it seem as though he was breathing out smoke. The sun was bright and unwavering in its battle against the cold air for whether or not the snow should melt. It was peaceful. 

“Geralt!” Ciri yelled as she ran out of the fortress. “Eskel told me I would be able to see you spare with him if I was to finish cleaning up all of that snow and ice before lunch.” Eskel was not that far behind, only by a few paces. “He also told me he was going to kick your arse.” 

 Geralt smirked. “So that’s what he told you, hm?” Ciri nodded in response, smiling. Eskel was closer now, “Eskel are you ready to get your arse handed to you?” Geralt shouted towards his brother.

“Ha, you wish Geralt!” Eskel grinned, ready to beat up his brother. “Ciri, you should stand off to the side, don’t want you to be in the crossfire.” 

Ciri stood still as she looked up to Geralt, “he’s right,” the White Wolf confirmed. Ciri’s eyes grew wide, as she started to understand the warning and promptly left Geralt’s side, choosing a safer place to spectate the sparring match. 

As they had their weapons in hand, they charged at one another. Swords clashed, and they both jumped back, to try a different maneuver. Ciri watched in awe as she watched the Witchers battle against one another. But as she watched, the events that happened earlier in the day started to surface. Why was there snow and ice all over inside of Kaer Morhen? Then she thought about Jaskier, ‘I haven’t seen him all morning…did he cause that to happen? But if he did that then wouldn’t he be responsible to clean it up? Are they trying to treat me as if I were a child?’ As she watched the fight it became clearer to her that Geralt was distracted about something…or someone.