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The heavy oak doors of Zoro’s office creaked open, groaning under the weight of authority they’d long grown accustomed to. Usopp stepped in first, chest puffed up with pride, though his hands fidgeted nervously with the strap of his rifle. Behind him, Nami strode with confidence, one hand gripping the arm of a struggling figure whose wrists were bound with thick rope.
“Zoro,” Usopp announced with a grin that was equal parts smug and terrified, “we got the guy. The one you wanted us to catch.”
Zoro, leaning back in his leather chair with his usual air of calm indifference, lifted an eyebrow. The cigar in his hand burned low, a faint trail of smoke curling lazily upward into the dim-lit ceiling of his office. His other hand drummed against the polished desk.
Nami didn’t wait for Zoro to respond. She yanked their captive forward, shoving him into the room with a scowl. “He put up more of a fight than expected,” she muttered, brushing a lock of orange hair out of her face. “But we got him. You’re welcome.”
The figure stumbled, catching himself on the carpet, blonde hair falling across his face. He was gagged and bound, his blue eyes burning with fury even through the mess of ropes tying him.
Zoro’s gaze dropped on the prisoner. For a second, he froze. His pupils shrank. The cigar slipped between his fingers and tumbled onto the ashtray with a soft hiss.
“…What the hell?” Zoro breathed, voice cracking into something uncharacteristically horrified.
Nami tilted her head. “What? He looks like the guy in the photo.”
Usopp nodded, though there was a bead of sweat sliding down his temple. “Yeah, you said blond hair, nice suit, sharp features, kinda smug looking. I mean…this guy checks all the boxes, right?”
Zoro slammed both hands on the desk and shot to his feet. “Okay. Everyone. Out.”
Nami blinked. “Huh?”
“OUT!” Zoro barked, louder, his voice like the crack of a whip.
The entire room went silent for a beat. Usopp’s mouth opened, then closed. Nami’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, but when Zoro’s hand dropped to the gun at his belt, both of them wisely retreated.
“Fine,” Nami said slowly, dragging Usopp with her. “But you’re explaining later.”
The doors shut with a heavy thud, and silence settled over the room.
The bound man straightened up, ropes creaking against his wrists. His glare could have cut steel.
“So, Zoro,” Sanji’s voice came out low, muffled a bit by the gag before he spat it out and let it hang by his neck. “Mind explaining why the fuck I’m tired, gagged, and tied up like some common thug, only to be dragged into your damn office?”
Zoro winced. The dangerous mafia boss who terrified entire districts of the city now looked like a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He scratched the back of his neck.
“Uhh…about that, dear…”
Sanji’s eye twitched. “Dear?” His voice sharpened, climbing in volume. “Don’t you dear me, Roronoa. RORONOA ZORO!” he suddenly shouted, making the walls shake. “Untie me right this instant!”
“Yes, dear!” Zoro said quickly, fumbling with the knots like a man defusing a bomb.
It took a few seconds, but the ropes came loose, and Sanji yanked his arms free, rubbing at his reddened wrists. He stood tall, brushing dust off his dress shirt, looking as pristine and furious as ever.
“Now,” Sanji growled, looming dangerously close to Zoro’s desk, “I want a reasonable explanation as to why I was ambushed in the alley behind my apartment while throwing out the trash. You better make it good, because right now I’m this close—” he held up two fingers an inch apart “—to shoving a lit cigarette down your throat.”
Zoro raised both hands defensively. “Okay, okay, calm down, I can explain.”
Sanji crossed his arms. “Then explain.”
“…I think,” Zoro muttered, averting his gaze, “they kidnapped the wrong person.”
Sanji blinked. His voice dripped with venom. “You think?”
“Yes.”
“You think ?!”
“Yes! I—look, it’s not my fault! I told them to bring in a guy who’s been giving us trouble. Blond hair, expensive suits, smug bastard. How was I supposed to know they’d drag in my—” He stopped himself abruptly, jaw tightening.
Sanji’s eyes narrowed. “Your what, Zoro?”
Zoro’s throat bobbed. “…My, uh. My…very lovely partner who I definitely didn’t want kidnapped.”
Sanji’s foot snapped up so fast Zoro barely had time to dodge. The heel of Sanji’s dress shoe slammed into the desk, splintering the wood with a crack.
“Partner?!” Sanji hissed. “You’ve got some nerve calling me your partner after this stunt. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be dragged across the city by your goons, tied like a roast pig?!”
Zoro scratched at his temple, sheepish. “…Yeah. Sorry.”
Sanji’s anger burned hotter. He jabbed a finger against Zoro’s chest. “Do you know what the neighbors are going to say? What does my reputation look like now? ‘Oh, did you hear? That classy chef Sanji got tied up and kidnapped by his boyfriend’s mafia goons.’ What the hell do you expect me to say to that?!”
Zoro winced. “That…it was a misunderstanding?”
“A MISUNDERSTANDING?!” Sanji’s voice cracked high enough that Zoro actually flinched.
There was a tense pause, both of them glaring, the air thick with Sanji’s rage and Zoro’s fumbling guilt.
Finally, Sanji let out a long exhale, pinching the bridge of his nose. His voice dropped into something colder, calmer—more dangerous. “You owe me. Big time.”
Zoro straightened up, trying to regain his composure. “Yeah. I know. I’ll make it up to you.”
“You damn well better.”
Silence fell again, though this time it was softer, weighted with something unsaid. Sanji leaned back against the desk, arms crossed, foot tapping against the floor. Zoro, for once, looked like he’d rather face down a dozen rival gangs than the man in front of him.
“…You didn’t get hurt, right?” Zoro asked finally, voice low.
Sanji blinked, surprised by the softness in Zoro’s tone. He looked away quickly, covering it with a scoff. “Just my pride, mosshead. That’s all.”
Zoro allowed himself a tiny exhale of relief. He stepped closer, his rough hand reaching out but stopping short before touching Sanji’s wrist. “I’ll handle Nami and Usopp. Don’t blame them too hard. They were just…doing what I told them.”
“Doing it badly, ” Sanji muttered. Still, the edge in his voice softened just slightly.
“Yeah.” Zoro’s mouth tugged into a faint smirk. “But at least now I know you’re impossible to mistake for anyone else. Nobody fights back like you.”
Sanji’s ears burned red, and he turned his head sharply to hide it. “Shut up.”
Zoro chuckled quietly, the tension finally easing from his shoulders. He reached for his cigar again, but Sanji snatched it out of his hand, crushing it in the ashtray with deliberate force.
“No more cigars tonight,” Sanji snapped. “You’re already in deep shit with me. Don’t push it further.”
Zoro raised his hands in surrender again, a small smile tugging at his lips despite the situation. “Yes, dear.”
Sanji sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “I swear, one day you’re going to get yourself killed, and I’ll have to explain to everyone why I stayed with an idiot like you.”
Zoro stepped closer, lowering his voice. “Because you love me.”
Sanji’s foot twitched as if ready to kick again, but he didn’t. Instead, he muttered under his breath, “…You’re still sleeping on the couch tonight.”
“Fair.”
“Well,” Sanji drawled, straightening his shirt with sharp flicks of his hands, “are you going to introduce me to your crew or not?” He started toward the door, every step radiating simmering fury.
“Right,” Zoro muttered, running a hand down his face before following him out.
The heavy doors swung open. Zoro stepped into the lounge first, Sanji right behind him, stalking forward like a storm ready to strike.
The rest of the crew—Luffy, Nami, Usopp, Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brook, and Jinbei—were spread around the lounge. They were all pretending to be casual, but their stiff postures gave them away. Every eye locked on the furious blond in wrinkled clothes, golden hair tousled, blue eyes blazing murder.
The atmosphere grew thick.
“Uh…” Usopp forced a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “So…hi?”
“Sit,” Zoro ordered flatly.
Sanji glared at him but dropped onto the couch anyway, crossing his legs and arms with deliberate force. Smoke curled from the cigarette he’d lit on the way out, filling the room with tension. Zoro stayed standing, shadowed and silent, like a man standing trial.
Nobody spoke at first.
Finally, Nami broke the silence. She crossed her arms, voice sharp. “…So, are you going to explain what the hell that was? Because I’ve never seen you that scared before, Zoro.”
All eyes turned to him.
Zoro exhaled through his nose, then said simply, “This is my partner. Sanji.”
The silence shattered instantly.
“Whaaaaaat?!” Luffy screeched, nearly falling out of his chair. “You have a partner, Zoro?!”
Chopper’s hooves flew up in panic. “B-but—but we tied him up! We kidnapped Zoro’s partner?!”
“Kidnapped and gagged ,” Sanji corrected darkly, narrowing his gaze at Usopp. Smoke trailed from his cigarette like a warning flare.
Usopp visibly shrank. “O-okay, okay, it wasn’t just me! Nami said—”
Nami elbowed him hard in the ribs. “Don’t drag me into your mess.”
Sanji leaned forward, resting his chin on his palm, his smile sweet as poisoned wine. “Apology. I think that’s the bare minimum.”
The color drained from Usopp’s face. His knees trembled as he shuffled forward, every step like walking toward the gallows. Then, with a dramatic flop, he dropped to his knees in front of Sanji, hands clasped together.
“Forgive me, Sanji!” Usopp wailed. “I swear it wasn’t personal! It was dark, you looked just like the target—blond hair, expensive clothes, deadly aura, smug expression—”
Sanji’s eyebrow twitched. “Smug expression?”
“I mean, uh—regal expression! Elegant expression!” Usopp backpedaled furiously, sweat dripping down his face. “It was an honest mistake!”
Sanji leaned closer until his sharp blue eye filled Usopp’s vision. The silence stretched long enough for Usopp to start trembling. Then, suddenly, Sanji chuckled. Low. Dangerous.
“Relax, long nose. I know you didn’t mean to kidnap me on purpose.” He tapped ash into the tray beside him, smirking faintly. “Don’t worry. I only blame your boss.”
Usopp blinked in shock, relief washing over him. “Oh, thank goodness—”
Sanji’s boot lashed out, clipping him in the shoulder and spinning him onto his back.
“That’s for the ropes,” Sanji said coldly, exhaling smoke.
The crew erupted into chaos—Luffy laughing so hard he fell over, Chopper running to check on Usopp, Nami shaking her head like she’d expected nothing less. Robin covered her mouth with her hand, amusement flickering in her eyes, while Franky let out a booming “SUPER!” at Sanji’s delivery. Brook just laughed. Even Jinbei allowed himself the faintest smile.
Zoro, meanwhile, rubbed his forehead and muttered, “Told you to leave him untied.”
Sanji shot him a glare sharp enough to kill. “And I told you to control your idiots.”
“Not idiots,” Zoro said, smirking faintly. “Idiots-in-training.”
That earned him another glare, but the corner of Sanji’s mouth twitched before he could stop it.