Chapter Text
Edinburgh, Scotland
The night was cool still lingering with the events from that day, the sky quickly being pulled over like a thick curtain over the world, silencing everything into its deep embrace like it always did around this time of night until an ear-piercing scream shattered that silence.
“AAAAH!”
“Guys, how are we doing over there?!” Allen Walker grunted as he continued battling a few Akumas that had successfully slammed him against a nearby building. The stark white of his hair and his all Akuma sensing cursed right eye, was still ever so prominent in this fight as it was able to see Akumas souls anywhere we went. “Any progress on your ends?”
“Pipe down short stack I’m working over here!” Yuu Kanda quickly shot of his means of communication since he was busy battling his own set of Akumas. “Damn idiot.”
“It’s Allen!” Allen shouted back. “He did not hang up on me!”
“I believe we have bigger problems at the moment!” Krory interjected after finishing his own Akumas and wiping his mouth just a loud THUD could be heard nearly missing him as Kanda charged forward to finish his job.
Smashing her heels down on top of another Akumas head, Lenalee’s dark green hair shone underneath the light from the moon out tonight. She quickly raised herself to her full height as she scanned their surroundings. “Any word on Bookman or Lavi?”
Slicing through a level two Akumas Allen quickly surveyed the area in front of him. “Last I saw them they were fighting a few of the Akumas over there! Let’s go, they might need our help!”
-D-
“Oh come on…” The pain from being slammed against the ground made the bookman in training grit his teeth and clutch his head as he forced himself back up. The two elderly women behind him still trembled and whimpered in fear as they watched on with terrifying eyes as more level one and two Akumas approached them.
Although there seemed to be more Akumas here tonight than they initially had thought on their way to look for more Innocence, he still wouldn’t say no at the chance to come along on this assignment and see for himself considering that all they did right now is still trying to recuperate from the many battles they came across with the Noah family, finding the Ark and the ongoing fights with the Millennium Earl recently including the attack on headquarters.
So at least this was a much welcome change of pace other than unpacking from the move to their new headquarters.
“Ooh what’s the matter exorcists? Didn’t come out to play?” The Akuma taunted as she stuck her serpent-like tongue out which made him squeeze his eyes shut.
“Do you really have to do that?!”
“Lavi you idiot! Haven’t you finished with that Akuma already?” Bookman annoyedly shouted from over his shoulder right before attacking another level two Akuma he’d been battling.
“Easy for you to say gramps! Yours doesn’t look like this!” He pointed an accusing finger at the Akuma in front of him who wore a white lingerie type outfit which didn’t do anything to conceal her breast.
“Too much for you young exorcist?” The Akuma cooed as she brazenly moved closer just as the other four exorcists arrived to help.
“Never that.” He grinned, his grip on his hammer tightening.
“Lavi!” Both Allen and Lenalee shouted as they arrived. “Are you alright?”
“Hang back guys I’ve got this!”
Landing next to them, Bookman only exhaustedly shook his head at his junior apprentice. “That’s what he’s been saying this whole time.”
“Why, what is it? Is it a level three Akuma?” Krory worriedly asked when he finally made his way over to them.
“I’m afraid not.” Bookman answered. “Something much worse.”
“Worse?” Lenalees gaze instantly drifted back to the Akum Lavi had been fighting.
“Wait,” Squinting his eyes to try and get a better view of the Akuma, Allen suddenly took notice at what Bookman had been referring to with startled eyes that matched Krory’s flustered ones. “She’s barely dressed!”
“Yes, that seems to be Lavi’s issue right about now.” The older man frowned as they watched the red head hesitantly raising his hammer.
“So what are you waiting for?!” Kanda irritatedly shouted with his sword Mugen at the ready.
“Just waiting for the right time Yu!” Grinning he waited until the Akuma moved closer and could already feel the ground beneath him heating up. Smashing his hammer down in a barrage of flames, his signature snake instantly shot high into the sky before crashing into the Akuma who let out a hurling scream before being destroyed. “There, Akuma destroyed.”
“Took you long enough you damn bunny.” Kanda frustratedly removed his hand from his sword.
“I got her didn’t I?! And did you see what she was wearing?!”
“You really are useless.” Bookman shook his head before jumping to his feet in time to avoid another Akumas sharp beam.
“Oh yeah?! Well I don’t see you doing any better you old panda!” Lavi defensively shouted. “Give me a break she was…very hard to fight!”
As her heel came slamming down on another Akuma nearby, Lenalee’s stern gaze was solely fixated on the red head as he turned around to momentarily gape at her.
“Lenalee?”
“You were saying?” The frown on her face did nothing to hide her annoyance at the moment. Couldn’t he go two minutes without gawking at a girl especially when they were fighting Akumas?! “You know, I think I agree with Bookman on this.” She furiously placed her hands on her hips as she stared down at her comrade.
“What?! You too?!”
“Don’t just stand there! There’s five more Akumas that need our immediate attention.” Bookman reminded them from over his shoulder.
“Right!” Nodding, Lenalee immediately went over to help while Lavi annoyedly rolled his eyes before doing the same.
“Boy, people sure are cranky today.”
“I call dips on this one!” Allen excitedly reached for his cursed arm to pull his sword out.
“You can’t just call dips!” Kanda shouted as he tried to get to the same Akuma first. “He’s mine!”
“Um did you not hear me call dips?!”
“I chose to ignore it.” Kanda on purpose turned his head away right after slicing through the Akuma.
“WHAT?!”
“Whew!’ Wiping his forehead after they managed to destroy most of the Akumas, Lavi quickly placed his hammer into his holster as he looked around at all the damage now and making sure that the two elderly women were safe and out of danger. “I guess that’s most of the-” Dodging in time to avoid an Akuma crashing directly into him, he watched in horror as the Akuma grabbed Lenalee’s her leg from mid-air right before throwing her towards the hard ground with a loud SMASH. “Lenalee!”
“Look out!” Allen shouted right as the Akuma flew towards her.
“No!” It all happened so quickly. One moment Lavis eyes were glued to Lenalee crumpled body a few feet away as she tried opening her eyes and the next, he couldn’t stop himself from rushing to her side.
His green eyes widened upon realizing when a second Akumas beam also began flying directly towards her. Placing himself between it and Lenalee he knew he only had seconds to act. With one arm he protectively pulled her towards him, making sure to cover her with his body as much as he could while his other hand used his hammer to try and block the blast the Akumas shot at them. “ARGH!”
‘Gotta hold on…I have to hold on!’ Gritting his teeth, he managed to peer his eyes open as the force of the blast sent him back a little, forcing his feet to dig into the ground. He couldn’t afford to stop now, if he did then they were as good as dead. The pressure of this attack was immense, and from what he could gather a second before the attack was that at least one of the two Akumas must’ve been at least a level three.
“Lavi?” she weakly raised her head only to see him briefly meet her gaze as the blast only intensified the longer he tried to push back against it. She tried to open her mouth to tell him to leave, to tell him to save himself, to save their friends, to tell him…
“I’m not leaving.” His lips rose into a small sad smile sensing her distress the way he always seemed to do. Lenalee was the type of person that never cared what could happen to her so long as everyone she cared about was safe, her family. So there was no way he was going to let her do this alone despite how much she always pleaded him to. He’d never leave her side, not back then when she begged him to after she had fallen ill. Not when they were all busy fighting those Akumas on their trip to Edo, nor when she decided to synchronize with her Innocent and not never again.
That night alone was enough to make him realize something…something he shouldn’t and never would allow himself to acknowledge again, but one thing was certain. He’d never allow anything to ever happen to her again because the thought of possibly losing her again scared the shit out of him.
“Lavi…” Closing her eyes she could feel him tightening his hold on her as he tugged her head under his chin, forcing himself to hold on for just a little longer.
“Come on…come on…” Clenching his teeth he steadied his feet and with one huge effort managed to send the blast hurtling back to the Akumas. Even if they managed to dodge it gave him some time to try and call on his Innocence. But just as he was about to another round of blast was send their way. “Damn it!” Preparing himself for another attack he unconsciously felt himself drawing closer to Lenalee in one last attempt to try and fight off another attack.
The moment the blast made contact with his hammer he instantly felt himself being shoved back right before a bright while light came crashing down in front of them, followed instantly by a loud explosion which made them fall forward with a grunt when the attack stopped.
The ghost of the blasts still continued to hum through his veins, and it hurt…it burned but it was done. Panting he managed a grateful smile when he saw the figure in front of him. “Talk about perfect timing.”
Blinking her eyes open to get them to focus, Lenalee could see a familiar silhouette standing in front of them, his white cape casually flipping through the air. “Allen!” Getting to her feet thanks to Lavi, she quickly tried to do the same until Bookman reassured her that he’d take care of the junior bookman. “Allen are you alright?”
“Yeah, thanks to Lavi we were able to get an attack in.” He admitted with an appreciative smile.
“What do you mean we short stack?”
Whirling around Allen met Kandas’s glare with his very own. “I don’t recall you coming to help!”
“Guys! Guys!” Lenalee interjected as she ran over to the two.
Fondly smiling as the two continued to bicker the way they always seemed to do while Lenalee tried to cut in between them, Lavi painfully winced as he clutched his side. He hadn’t even realized he’d been hit at some point.
“Are you hurt?” Bookman followed his movements with his stern gaze. “Can you stand?”
“I’ll live.” Lavi forced a confident smile. “It just…caught me off guard that’s all.”
Inhaling deeply Bookman followed where Lavi’s gaze had fallen. “What have I told you about being careful? You need to focus Lavi! Tonight was a close call, much like all the others. We cannot afford for this sort of thing to continue happening.”
"Careful old man, if I didn’t know any better I'd say you were worried about me." He tried to crack a small smile but the pain on his side wouldn’t let him, another reminder of his slip up.
“Lavi.”
“I know.” Lavi quickly answered, his gaze drifting downwards with understanding. “I know alright. I’ve already told you; I’ve got everything under control.”
“Do you?” Bookman fully turned to his apprentice unconvinced. “And how do you explain tonight? Or many of the other close calls we’ve had recently? You cannot afford to run these risks again.”
“But isn’t that the reason of why we’re here? To learn, to record, observe from their point of view…?”
“Precisely.” Bookman nodded before walking past him and away from the other exorcists. “And to not get involved unless we need to. It’s best if you remember that.”
Slowly lifting his head, Lavi could now see Krory, Allen, Kanda as well as Lenalee still animatedly talking amongst each other a few feet in front of him before he proceeded to follow in the direction Bookman had left.
-D-
DING DING
Lightly tapping the bell on the front desk Lavi patiently waited for the person working the night shift to turn up as he and the others continued to glance around the lobby “Hello? Anyone here?” he enthusiastically asked.
“Well given the current time I suppose it’s only natural for this place to seem this empty.” Krory acknowledged since it was already past two in the morning.
“Maybe.” Lavi lazily yawned as he stretches his arms above his head only to wince in pain when he remembered his injury.
“You ok?”
The concern in Lenalees’ voice made him appreciatively smile down at her as her worried eyes met his. “I’ll be fine, just a scratch that’s all.” He saw her give a faint nod before averting her gaze and he could see the guilt still lingering on her mind. “Hey don’t wor-”
“Hello, may I help you?” A voice suddenly asked as a woman could be seen exiting one of the back rooms wearing a navy-blue dress skirt and blouse, her red hair pinned up into a neat bun.
“Um hello,” Allen politely began after seeing his friend standing shock still. “We’re looking for some rooms please, just for tonight if you have any?”
“Of course.” Nodding the front desk receptionist quickly began looking through her files as Lavis’ eyes continued to give her an appreciative once over.
“How long do you think this time?” Allen defeatedly slouched his shoulders in preparation for what was sure to come. “I say one minute.”
“Two.” Krory embarrassingly covered his face with his cape.
“Seven seconds.”
“Hmm?” Looking down they were surprised by the old Bookmans response right as Lavi’s voice suddenly piped up.
“STRIKE!”
The huge grin and heart eye on the boys’ face was enough to make Lenalee frown a bit and glance off to the side with a thoughtful look in her eyes. She should have grown to expect this kind of behavior from him by now. Lavi was a big flirt, and everyone knew that from the minute he stepped foot in the Black order. Unable to keep his eyes off any pretty woman who dared crossed his path even if they were evil apparently, and yet the very thought of him still acting this way anytime there was a girl in front of him made her stomach churn in an uncomfortable way.
“Could you hurry it up?” Kanda impatiently asked the receptionist who not having expected that swiftly glanced up from her work.
“You’d have to forgive Yu over here. He’s just really tired and a really big teddy bear with an angry scowl and sword, but really nice when you get to know him.”
“Shut your mouth you stupid rabbit!”
“…especially with a pretty girl like you around.” Lavi finished off rambling while Kanda bore holes into the back of his head.
“Will you ever just stop talking?!”
“Probably not.” Lavi indifferently admitted, never removing his smile from the attractive receptionist.
Turning her head to the side, Lenalee’s frown only deepened when she saw him lazily lean forward on the desk with his elbows.
“That’s quite alright.” The woman amusingly giggled as she handed them their room keys. “You guys are pretty cute and must be tired from all your traveling.”
“You hear that?! She thinks we’re cute!” Lavi playfully nudged an already irritated Kanda. ‘Pretty and straight forward.’ Lavi impressively thought.
“You guys don’t happen to be single?”
“So what?”
“Yes!” Both Kenda and Lavi both answered at the same time. “Quiet Yu!”
“Ok that’s enough out of you.” Grabbing both boys by the ear, Lenalee just about had enough for one night and quickly dragged them behind her while Allen did a quick job apologizing to the girl on their behave.
“Hey OW take it easy! What gives?” Lavi asked once she finally released them as he painfully rubbed his ear. “I am still injured you know.”
“In case you haven’t noticed we’re supposed to be working here not…”
“We were working.” Lavi responded watching as Kanda rubbed his own ear.
“Don’t drag me into this.” Kanda annoyedly shot him a meaningful glare before folding his arms over his chest.
Turning his gaze back to Lenalee, he could see her still unamused expression. “Hey I get it alright, but we were just having some fun Lenalee what’s the harm in that-” Flinching back as soon she slammed her door closed, Lavi was at a loss for words as he continued to blankly stare at the wooden door separating him from a severely pissed of Lenalee…so he supposed at the moment he could consider himself lucky. For what? He had no clue. “Um am I missing something or does Lenalee seem a little strange to you today?”
Annoyedly shaking his head Kanda quickly turned to leave in the direction of his own room.
“Why is everyone so cranky today?” he asked no one in specific as he began walking towards his room, only briefly pausing to give one last glance at Lenalee’s closed door before making his way to his own room.
Stepping into the room he found it to actually be rather small with simply a bed and dresser inside, nothing fancy really, but this was just perfect for him since a bed was all he really wanted right about now anyway.
After removing most of his clothing he walked over to the window where he could still see it incredibly dark outside with his reflection being the only thing he could see. Tracing the black eyepatch he constantly wore over his right eye he slowly removed it. Staring back at the same face that always stared back at him.
Lavi.
Or at least that’s what they called him for now.
His 49th name. At least that’s what he decided a long time ago, and one of many names he’s had throughout his life along with his training. Being the successor of the Bookman clan, it was expected of him to understand never to allow yourself to be driven by your emotions nor let it control you. Expected to purely witness from the sidelines without any emotional attachments. Forbidden from forming personal ties even with the people around him. And so, through time, his heart always was like a stone gate, cold and rusty, closed off to any emotions in an effort to keep others out.
To witness history as it always unfolds in front of him. So in time Lavi came to understand why he’d been taught that. Because there was never really any room for attachments since everyone would eventually be erased from existence, never to be anything more than a part of history. To merely be an outsider looking in, a silent observer like a ghost never to interfere. Which eventually numbed Lavi to the point of not caring.
People always found themselves in meaningless wars after meaningless wars, something he could never understand nor would he try, and he was ok with that. People were predictable, hateful, greedy and a liability he had always thought, but that all changed after joining the Black Order.
Many things changed.
And over time he found it harder and harder to stick with his convictions the way he always had.
After all of the battles and pain they had endured together, especially after his battle with Roude Kamelot he understood. Understood that he wasn’t the same person he once was, and he was alright with that. In fact, it lifted a burden he felt on his shoulder for so long that it enveloped him with a weird sense of relief afterwards. Knowing that he really did care about his friends and facing that head on made him understand that instead of finding that as a weakness, it also became one of his greatest strengths in beating Roude. But the constant questioning and confusion surrounding him even now always settle deep within him, like a sailor lost in a vast sea of confusion without a compass.
He knew his destination, always had and that would never change. But if he wasn’t careful, he could drown somewhere along the way, with each flood of uncertainty that managed to question every decision he’d been making.
Standing here even now, he always felt like he was at a crossroads. Having to make decisions he knew the answers to but still questioning whether to go right or left, or which part of him was really asking the questions. The part of him that knew which path to take? The Bookman who understood what needed to be done, and knew what was expected of him? Constantly hunched over a desk, reading and analyzing every word from a dusty book. Or the person now staring back at him.
Lavi. The part of him who couldn’t wait to wake up and see his friends every day, laughing and so carefree. The flirt, the womanizing part of him that wasn’t real to begin with. A façade he adopted to make people around him believe otherwise, when in reality he always prevented himself from getting too close to anyone.
But which part was he? He’d been staying with the Black Order longer than they had stayed at any other place, so it became harder to try and distinguish who he really was. It's exhausting to be honest, trying to balance these different selves. To reconcile them into one coherent person or none at all. He had always wondered if things came down to it, would he have to pick one? Or could he be all of them or none? That was until Roude unknowingly helped him see things a little clearer.
The different personalities he had adopted throughout his years always felt like wearing a costume. A carefully constructed mask of personalities. Confident, the playful one, the quiet observer, the troublemaker…each seemed convincing for a brief period of time, but then the hollow feeling would always return, questioning which was his real self and which was not.
But the fight with Roude made him understand that it was ok to ask questions, it was ok to care for the people around him and fight for them knowing that they were important to him, despite what he might’ve thought before. That regardless of the ongoing confusion that lingered inside, there was also shifting sand constantly eroding and reforming, yearning for a certain freedom he’d never be able to experience.
Even knowing exactly how this story will end…there was still a big part of him that wanted to be selfish. To let himself become lost in this illusion. To allow himself to envision what it would be like to finally break free from these retrains and envision what life would truly be like standing next to his friends…next to her. With no fixed destination, just the open road.
Selfish yes.
But above else…free. And despite how much he didn’t want to, he couldn’t stop picturing her face anytime those very questions came to mind. It frightened and worried him all at the same time. Which was why he knew he just had to slowly distance himself from her even more, despite every part of him wanting nothing more than to be closer to her. Closer to Lenalee.
“Stop it.” Snapping his eyes shut, he dejectedly looked away from his reflection.
Whatever he felt for the girl wasn’t the same as the comfortable and easy affection of just friendship. This was more. And that’s what scared Lavi the most. What if this more wasn’t good? What if it ruins everything they both tried to build?
He didn’t even notice when it all started, not really. It could have been years ago…a quiet comfort…a laugh that felt a little too good…perhaps a silence that felt just right…or the minute he set foot in the Black Order and he saw her staring up at him with those sad caring eyes that instantly made him want to shield her from the world.
Even if the circumstances were different and he could tell her about his growing feelings… if she were to reject him, then at least that way he would be able to find some kind of closure and move on, continue on his path to becoming the successor to the bookman clan.
Not to mention Bookman would kill him if he found out and if that were to happen since they were here to record the true history of the world and nothing more.
Call him foolish, call him a coward but to be honest he was also scared shitless to say anything either way. Not so much for the rejection that he knew would come, but for the risk that would involve her if he even humored that thought.
No, it was better to let things be.
Frustratedly growling, he plopped himself down on his bed, draping his arm over his eyes. “Get a grip on yourself Lavi. A girl like that will never see you as anything more than a comrade and bookman anyway.” Those were the same words he constantly forced himself to remember. Knowing that eventually all of this would also be forgotten.
Only a mere memory…ink on a piece of paper that would eventually also be put away along with many of the worlds history that not many knew.
Yes…it was better this way.