Work Text:
[ text | to: Will ] I'm early
[ text | to: Will ] I already have a drink and I'm working on my laptop by the window when you get here
[ text | from: Will ] you sent those texts to me at 7am
[ text | to: Will ] I did
[ text | from: Will ] I wasn't even awake yet
[ text | to: Will ] I like to be up early
[ text | to: Will ] old habits and all that
[ text | from: Will ] good to know
[ text | from: Will ] I'll be there soon
[ text | to: Will ] you don't have to be early just because I am
[ text } from: Will ] I want to be
-
In the hour and a half that he was alone at Mad Dash, Mouse took the time to polish up his resumé. His job was fine, and it paid the bills, but he wasn't meant for secretarial work. Answering the phones and answering questions for walk ins wasn't his passion. It wasn't tech, and a part of him regretted not taking the job offered to him in Atlanta. But wishing he was somewhere else wasn't going to make anything easier.
He scrolled through pages of a job site while sipping at his tea. So many places wanted a degree, and experience, and five professional references, and no criminal history, and his first born. And that was just to get paid barely more than minimum wage. He couldn't even find a job that wanted him with a major pay cut. Using his name might get him a job in his desired field, but it wouldn't last very long if his father found out.
Mouse knew his life was stable, and more stable than it had ever been, but it didn't feel like enough. He was dating a doctor, someone with a career who had been engaged before, who had every reason to want to settle down. He wouldn't want to do that with someone who had a stagnant job with no hope of upward mobility, let alone a real career.
Not that he was thinking about settling down with Will Halstead.
Luckily, before he had to follow that thought any further, the bell above the coffee shop's door rang out to announce another customer entering. With Will now in the same room, he didn't have to worry about the future, or what job he'd have for the rest of the year, or even if he needed more tea yet. He could smile and focus on the happy feeling in his chest, especially when Will was walking toward him.
"Hey. Good morning." Will leaned down when he got close enough, pressing a brief, soft kiss to his lips. It was unexpected but welcome, and both of their smiles grew into mirror grins. "I support you being a morning person, I really do, but I need caffeine. Desperately."
Shaking his head, Mouse closed the browser window on his laptop and got to his feet. "Then let's get you some coffee. We can't have you desperate all morning. Have you eaten anything yet? I want a bagel."
"Oh, good, I'm dating a morning person who eats breakfast." Will let out a dramatic groan and then sighed. "No, I haven't eaten anything. I don't normally eat breakfast, unless you count coffee."
Mouse stopped and blinked at him slowly. Even when he was at his lowest and battling the claws of addition, he still ate breakfast. It was sometimes a stale muffin or a chalky protein bar, but it was still something. "But… it's the most important meal of the day. You're a doctor. You should know that. It wakes up your brain so that you can get going. Oh my god… you didn't even eat breakfast the weekend of Jay's wedding. And you didn't collapse?"
The only response he got to that was a soft chuckle and another soft kiss. Will was amused by his concern, as if it was just another quirk - like his habit of leaving in the morning, or his motorcycle. Those things weren't even remotely comparable.
"Why are you laughing? It's not funny. I'm going to start bringing you food every morning so that I'm not worrying about you. Med is on my way to work anyway. Now, let's get you a sandwich."
Mouse took a step toward the counter, only to stop when his arm was grabbed and he was gently tugged closer to Will. The only contact between them was the hand on his arm, and even that was loosening until it was pulled away. There was a kind of respect there that he'd never encountered with any of the men he hooked up with. It wasn't often that someone respected his boundaries like that, not when his limited desire to be touched didn't make any sense.
"I'm laughing because you're cute." The look in Will's eyes was a tired kind of sparkle, letting him know that every word was the truth, even if they came before caffeine. "You do not have to feed me. I'm an adult, remember? I can keep myself alive just fine."
"Can you?" Arching a brow, he slowly shook his head. "Because I remember that weekend. You were so busy planning everything from the bachelor party to the reception that you didn't eat lunch, either. And I don't think I ever saw you sit down after the toasts."
"I ate cake."
"You can't survive on cake!" Mouse shook his head again, all but frowning. He'd never run into the same problem with Jay, who always had extra snacks in his desk drawer and the glovebox of his car. Jay was muscular without looking dehydrated, functionally strong instead of aesthetically fit. Will was… wasting away. "Come on, before there isn't anything left of you to feed."
He grabbed Will's hand to pull him toward the counter so that he could order for both of them. He needed more tea, anyway, and he really did want that bagel, even if it had moved down his list of priorities.
There had been a time, decades ago, that he treated his body the same way, with a different reason in mind. At one point in his life, Mouse had been focused on the aesthetics of it all. He wanted to look good, needed to look good. There had been bad photos pried into by the business journals that reported on his father's business, and comments from his mother, and all of the pressure to be perfect. Being outwardly perfect meant looking perfect, and shaving regularly, and working out until his stomach was flat and his abs were pronounced. Between that and the drugs, it was a miracle that Jay only had to rush him to the hospital once. He'd been lucky that he didn't starve himself, skipping meals and avoiding most forms of protein when he did eat.
The recovery from that had been harder than digging himself out of addiction. At least he had support, when it came to that part of it. His eating habits got push back - because he looked good, and he was obviously physically fit, and why would someone as rich and pretty as him ever be self conscious enough to develop an eating disorder?
He wouldn't watch someone else go through any of that.
"What do you want?" Mouse asked the question without letting go of his hand, keeping him in front of the case of food. "I like their frittatas, but I've only had the spinach, mushroom, and swiss, so keep that in mind. The bagel sandwiches are good. I usually get the fake sausage, but you have a few more options. If you'd rather have something sweet, the muffins are good - my favorites are the blueberry lemon and the chocolate ship, but I've tried most of them and they're all amazing."
"I will be fine. All you need is a black coffee."
"I didn't ask what you need." Mouse shook his head quickly and looked up at him. "I asked what you wanted. What sounds good to you? If you could only have one thing from this case and then never come back again, what would it be?"
"You're really intense about this."
"That's not an answer."
Will rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh, still smiling. He took the time to look over everything in front of them, from savory to sweet, and squeezed Mouse's hand while he nodded. "The berry scone. I bet that's got a good crumble. It'll be good with the coffee."
With a satisfied nod, Mouse gently pulled him over so that he could place their order. He got tea and a bagel with cream cheese for himself, along with the coffee and scone for Will. It wasn't a big breakfast, but it was food, and that was a step in the right direction. He only let go of Will's hand so that he could pay for everything, making cheerful small talk with the barista the whole time.
When they made their way back to the table by the window, it was with hot drinks and treats in hand. They settled into chairs on opposite sides of the table so that they could face each other, and Mouse worked on closing down his laptop so that there wasn't a screen between them. For a moment, he thought that would be it, and they could go about their date without any interruption. But he was never that lucky.
"You don't have to stop working just because I'm here." Will offered him a soft smile while he picked pieces off his scone. "If you have some deadline to meet, I shouldn't distract you from it. What is your job, anyway?"
He hadn't actually eaten any of the pieces he picked apart, and Mouse made a mental note to keep an eye on that. It was easier to think about that than the question he had to answer. "I, uh… I work for an insurance broker? It's mostly desk stuff, answering the phone, things like that. I'm working on applying to other things, so I can get back into working with computers. That office was just hiring when I needed a job, and I don't want to leave it until I have something else lined up."
Mouse stopped long enough to take a drink of his tea, mentally preparing to defend his choice of job. It was in insurance, the enemy of the medical field, but it paid the bills, and kept his motorcycle from getting repossessed, and provided his own insurance so that he could keep up with his physical therapy. It kept him alive while he figured out something else.
"Do you like it?"
The question made him stop, not quite setting his tea down while he tried not to frown. He'd been ready to defend his job, or at least his choice to stay with it, and even show the evidence that he was trying to leave. That question, in particular, was the very last thing he expected.
With a small shrug of his shoulders, Mouse hesitated for a moment before dropping his gaze to his hands. "I… I don't not like it? It's pretty quiet, actually. I usually finish all of my work for the day pretty quickly, so I've been getting through old episodes of podcasts, and some audiobooks… I get holidays off, and the agent I work with is really flexible if I need to take a day off."
"Good." When he looked up again, Will was smiling at him, as if his job didn't matter at all as long as he wasn't miserable. He wasn't the enemy just because the insurance industry was always hiring. "It sounds like you have a pretty regular schedule, then? I mean, you're not in the call center, at least."
Mouse nodded and sat up straighter in his seat. "It's week day, and I'm off at five most of the time. On Fridays, we shut down around two. I basically just go home and turn on Netflix, usually. I… I kind of stopped having a life."
For the first time since they sat down, Will popped a piece of the scone into his mouth while he nodded. That was a step in the right direct, at least. "Tell me if I'm overstepping at all, but Jay mentioned something once… he said you do better when you have routine and structure. It's good that you have a job that you don't not like that can give you that."
"I mean…" Mouse shrugged and focused his attention on spreading cream cheese on his bagel. "I do, do better, I mean. It's… even when I do have some work to do, there's a very set way to do things. Every process has its own set of steps, and rules, and every form has to be filled out in a specific way. It's really nice, especially when I think about how things were in Intelligence? I was told to do things, but not how, and then I would get told to sit down and be quiet when I was trying to join in and help. It was supposed to be more structured, with more rules, but I didn't know what any of those rules were until I broke them. Insurance is… it's all rules, with all of them and the reasons for them explained up front. if those were my only two options, I know what I'd choose."
He took a bite of his bagel when he was finished speaking, avoiding eye contact again. Even Jay hadn't heard those particular complaints, didn't know the full scope of his frustrations when it came to the job he knew he'd been lucky to have. Don't screw it up. That's what Jay had said to him that first day. Because that was the most likely end to anything good in his life.
He'd screwed up his image enough to make his parents all but give up hope when he was still a teenager.
He'd screwed up his miniscule chance of freedom so badly that he'd been in college for barely a year.
He'd screwed up so badly in the army that he and Jay had gotten medically discharged and sent home, and everyone else in their unit didn't even get that much.
He'd screwed up being home again so badly that he'd been completely disowned, and committed multiple felonies, and the only job that he could keep was being a snitch.
He hadn't even managed to die right.
All that Jay had seen since they met was his inability to do anything at all. And then he went and screwed up the only steady and stable job he'd ever had outside of the military. The only thing he could do right was risk his life, so he left to go back to exactly that. The fact that things were going so well with his job and with Will was a fluke. It was only a matter of time before he screwed up those things, too.
"Yeah, that sounds like Voight." Will nodded his head, and continued between small bites of his scone. "I think you were right to leave. I've heard enough from Jay to know that Intelligence just chews people up and spits them out again. You got out before it killed you. A lot of people can't say that. I don't know if Jay is ever going to be able to say that. If you have a safe job that doesn't make you want to pull your hair out, hold onto it. Seriously, that will keep you sane. And it' snot like the insurance industry is going away any time soon, right? That's job security."
Mouse scoffed and shook his head, smiling softly over the table. "I went to business school for a minute, I just didn't think I'd use that knowledge for insurance. I do like my job, don't get me wrong, but I grew up around computers and technology, and that was what I was supposed to do, that's what I like doing, it's what I'm good at. I was raised to know technology inside and out, but I was born to be a soldier, but now… I have an insurance license and a motorcycle, and I don't know where I'm gonna be in a month, but that's… I'm sorry, you didn't ask for all of that. How was your day, yesterday?"
Will was back to picking at his scone without actually eating any of it, still smiling at him. "Honestly? I spent about two hours fighting an insurance rep so that Crockett could perform life saving surgery on a patient without bankrupting her and her wife. But that doesn't seem like an appropriate conversation for a coffee date. Other than that, it was a normal shift. Fewer GSWs than usual, actually."
With a quick shake of his head, Mouse let out a slow breath. "You really should eat that. It's basically a snack, not breakfast. And the caffeine will make you jittery if there's nothing to absorb it."
"Oh my god, you're worse than Connor was." He watched while Will took a pointed bite of his meager breakfast. It wasn't just something that came with recent stress, then, if it had been going on long enough for Connor to have called it out, too. "There. Are you appeased?"
There was still more than half of the scone left, but it was still progress, and they weren't going anywhere yet. "It's better. Not great, but… I'll take it, for now. As long as you finish it before we leave. I'll get you something bigger, next time, and we'll ease you up to a normal sized breakfast."
"Next time, huh?"
The joking twinkle in Will's eye was enough to make him smile, almost grinning. It was easy to tease and poke fun when they'd known each other for years, however tangentially. Maybe that was it, why it was so easy to fall into something flirty and fun even after that first night after Jay's engagement party. He'd been vulnerable and raw, that night, and Will still treated him with kindness and respect, as if it hadn't happened at all. Except they'd been vulnerable together the weekend of the wedding, and over dinner, and over coffee. And everything was still easy, despite everything. He was greedy, and he wanted to know how long it would last, even if the explosive end was inevitable.
He'd lose Will, one day, and Jay with him, and everything else in his life would fall apart, too. But he was prepared for that. He'd been raised in a world where he didn't want for anything, where he was spoiled enough to get whatever he wanted, even if it seemed entirely unreasonable. It was ingrained in him like a bad habit, on that he hadn't been able to shake, no matter how much damage he knew it was capable of inflicting.
"Yeah. Next time."
-
[ text | from: Will ] thank you for the scone
[ text | from: Will ] and thank you for making me finish it
[ text | to: Will ] any time
[ text | from: Will ] I'm off on Friday
[ text | from: Will ] do you want to meet up when you're done with work for the day?
[ text | to: Will ] I can't
[ text | to: Will ] I have dinner plans with Jay and Hailey
[ text | from: Will ] what about Wednesday night?
[ text | to: Will ] that's the first Wednesday of the month
[ text | to: Will ] I'm going to a meeting
[ text | from: Will ] Mad Dash again on Saturday before I go in for my double?
[ text | to: Will ] I can do that
[ text | to: Will] what time do you have to be at Med?
[ text | from: Will ] noon, and then I'm scheduled to be off around three in the morning
[ text | to: Will ] let's meet at ten then
[ text | to: Will ] so you don't have to be up crazy early
[ text | from: Will ] perfect
[ text | to: Will ] see you then