Work Text:
An emotional support animal was a good idea for a lot of people. Jessica agreed and acknowledged that without any protest. It just wasn’t something that appealed to her. The way she would have placed a serious bet on Murdock never having one.
Jessica eyed the pit bull sitting by Murdock’s feet. Max. He was slate gray with a trail of white down his front, with floppy ears. Daredevil didn’t need some kind of emotional support animal or even a service dog. So it really didn’t make sense to her what the creature was doing at his side.
“Since when are you a dog person?” Jessica asked, locked in a staring contest with Max’s interested brown eyes. “Are you trying to fill some blind stereotype for cover by getting a guide dog?”
“No,” Matt said easily. “Vision impaired individuals can have pets without them being any kind of service animal you know.”
“Okay, valid, but how do you tolerate a dog in your house?” Jessica asked seriously, gesturing to her own face despite knowing it was pointless and looking up at him. “Any animal for that matter. The extra sounds, smells… doesn’t that grate on your super senses?”
Murdock was super sensitive. Physically and emotionally in her opinion. Sure, he was a bad ass that talked a big talk and walked the walk, but that didn’t stop everything from eating away at his insides. Jessica recognized emotional constipation, anger, bubbling under someone's skin.
Actually, Jessica was incredibly confused on why Murdock had shown up on her doorstep. Neither of them were buddy buddies and she was dealing with a lot. The aftermath of Kilgrave, sending her into a whole new set of lows.
Post traumatic stress syndrome. Insomnia. Nightmares. Everything that came after being kidnapped, raped and tortured for months.
Alcohol was probably the main reason Jessica had opened the door. She preferred to avoid people as much as possible these days, but Murdock? Strange was an understatement for his presence.
Jessica hadn’t been a client in a long time. Murdock didn't seek her out unless there was a job to be done anymore. Something that was going to suck for him because she was retired… from fucking life.
“I’m just taking care of him for now,” Matt finally answered, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and her first thought was ‘weird’ because unless it was for smug reasons the man didn’t smile.
“Why?” Jessica pried, curiosity bothering her and her current buzz letting it out.
Jessica wished Murdock wasn’t in a suit. Any suit, but definitely not his lawyer attire. The sleek black and white look, reminding her just how far apart they were in life. Yeah, he had his own share of trauma. He’d done something with his life though. Unlike her, wasting away in her apartment like it was a tomb.
“I actually came to bring you something,” Matt said instead, avoiding answering the question and Jessica rolled her eyes because she didn’t care enough to push.
“Unless it’s a fresh bottle of liquor, I don’t want it,” she told him bluntly, wishing she hadn’t let him past the door so she could shut it in his face.
Slipping the rope handle of the leash over his wrist, Murdock made a hand gesture at Max who had stood up. The dog whined in protest, but sat back down. Jessica was mildly impressed how trained the thing was for not being a service animal.
Jessica had assumed Max was some kind of service animal for Murdock, despite the lack of service dog vest, because dog’s couldn’t just walk into any store otherwise. It was clear the guy had been shopping based on the two brown bags held in his other hand. One of which he was trying to pull something out of, but it was getting stuck under the handles of the bag.
After a few seconds, Murdock managed to pull the blue striped fabric free. As he shook it out, Jessica could tell it was some kind of long-sleeved shirt. Maybe more like a soft fluffy oversized jacket that provided no real weather protection based on the beige buttons meant to be fastened up the middle. The guy was going to look absolutely ridiculous in it. Until she remembered he’d said it was for her.
“What is that?” Jessica asked flatly, somewhere being confusion and disbelief.
“A cardigan,” Matt answered, holding it up in front of himself with both hands to stretch it out for her.
“No shit Sherlock,” Jessica replied. “What about it?”
“It’s for you,” Matt offered, holding it out. “I was told blue is your favorite and the lady at the store said this is as blue as it gets.”
Both of those statements were the truth. Jessica loved the color blue and the cardigan was a spectrum of the color. The stripes held no pattern, but irregularly alternated between every shade of the color imaginable. Occasionally with a white or beige strip to break it up. It was kind of mesmerizing… not that she could ever imagine herself wearing it.
“Do I look like the kinda girl that wears cardigans?” Jessica asked with emphasis, her face twisting in protest at the idea of being seen in the thing and thinking about how much better it would be as a blanket.
“I wouldn’t know,” Matt replied, amusement clear in his voice.
“Fuck you smart ass,” Jessica huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Do I sound like the kinda girl that wears fucking cardigans?”
“Do I seem like the kinda guy that would get a dog?” Matt countered, nodding his head to the side towards Max. “Sometimes we don’t know what we need until we have it. I thought this might make you feel more… comfortable. Yourself.”
“I wear plain tees, jeans and flat leather jackets,” Jessica informed him, unsure if he’d ever paid attention with his senses. “I don’t walk around looking like a hippie that fell into a blue yarn bin.”
“You don’t walk around at all from what I hear,” Matt argued lightly. “... or leave the apartment for that matter. I don’t even need to hear it. I can tell.”
Jessica scoffed at him. She wanted to know who the man had been talking to. Luke probably. The two of them had gotten along well enough. It was possible Murdock had just been using his weird radar to check in on her too. Who knew what he could pick up on that. Either way, she didn’t particularly care because none of it actually mattered.
“I’m not going to pretend to understand and I’m not going to try to make you talk about it,” Matt started and Jessica groaned in annoyance, turning away to go back to her bottle on the coffee table. “I just thought something you like, something soft, could be comforting. It’s textured. So it can help you feel grounded when you’re alone.”
“Are you pretending to be some kind of psychologist now?” Jessica muttered, snatching up her beer bottle and flopping down onto her chair. “Are you dating one?”
“I tried dating one once,” Matt actually answered her. “It didn’t work out. I’ve just been studying the field a bit lately and the topic made me think of you too. If I can help a friend with a small gesture, why shouldn’t I?”
“Is this some kind of good deed charity bullshit to erase a few pebbles from your mountains of sin?” Jessica asked, kicking her feet up on her couch to make sure the man wouldn’t sit down as he followed her. “You’re living life as the devil dumbass. Good luck with that. It’s going to take more than a fucking pretty cardigan to make up for that.”
“So it’s pretty?” Matt asked in return, smiling smugly and putting the cardigan back into the bag he’d pulled it out of. “Good to know… but no, it has nothing to do with the church. We’re at a bit of odds right now anyways.”
Ignoring him, Jessica took a swig of her drink staring at her blank tv screen. She hated churches and all forms of organized religion. It’s why she found the concept of Daredevil hilarious, enjoying how Murdock embraced the role. He had every reason to unleash hell upon those in Hell’s Kitchen for all he’d been through. Maybe one day, she could consider doing something similar, on a much smaller scale. The urge to protect the city, just wasn’t in her veins the way it was his.
“It’s the thought that counts to most people,” Matt told her, removing the bag from his arm and sitting it on the empty space between her feet and the back of the couch. “Either we shield ourselves from suffering or find the shield of strength to bear it, but at least with this you’ll be comfortable either way.”
“Ah, there it is,” Jessica said, raising her beer at the man. “Catholicism. Cheers.”
“I’ll pass on the beer, but sure. Cheers,” Matt told her, without judgement even though she knew he could tell the place was basically drenched in liquor. “A cardigan is much easier to embrace and care for than a dog, especially when you’re drunk. You definitely spill… a lot. Max is going to get drunk licking his ass later from sitting on your rug.”
Jessica snorted despite herself, spilling her drink down her shirt when she couldn’t pull the bottle away from lips fast enough. She didn’t know if it was funny because she was drunk or because Murdock always played professional and mature. If she wasn’t busy wiping her mouth, she would have actually laughed for the first time in months.
“You know how to reach me,” Matt said, making a noise with his tongue and Max turned before him to back the way they’d come in. “Try to take care… and wash with a stronger scent than coconut. You smell like really weird floral rum.”
Gross. Jessica found herself sniffing her apartment then her armpit. Yeah, she smelt of liquor and sweat, but no floral notes popped out.
Since Rum wasn’t her favorite choice of drink, that made her want to take a shower more than anything else. Jessica was aware that sounded kind of sad, but she was trying not to keep laughing. It was making it hard to stop coughing from her accidentally inhaling her drink. All of which was Murdock’s fucking fault.
“Well if I’m going to wear your old hippie grandma shirt that’s fitting jackass!” Jessica hollered as Matt walked into the hallway without another word, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Leaning back against the pillows, Jessica sighed. She lifted off her wet shirt, using it to wipe her mouth before discarding it carelessly on the floor. Finishing her beer quickly, she sighed, processing Murdock’s visit.
Jessica hadn’t engaged with anyone since the one-time Luke had stopped by and she threw a bowl at him when he tried to take a drink from her. Before that it’d been her leaving Trish’s place what felt like ages ago. Besides that, there was just the occasional grocery store check-out associate that didn’t say anything beyond their job requirements. Hell, even the people that delivered her food never said anything thanks to her death glare that rendered them silent as she snatched her bag or box from their hands.
Sitting up, Jessica reached down and grabbed the brown bag Matt had sat down. It said Farmers Cafe and Market, making her wonder if the guy liked going to farmers markets. The idea was off putting, but she could see being a sweet local lawyer thing to do.
Looking inside, there was just the cardigan Matt had shown her. Touching it with her own hands, sliding it out of the bag, it was soft. Texture, but not in a rough way like a lot of crocheted stuff. It actually looked knitted.
Jessica would deny it to the death that the cardigan was even prettier up close. The blues, the same comforting and soothing color she’d always loved. She felt like she was looking into a blue sea she could get lost in, as she let her fingers skate over the wooden buttons.
Slipping her arms through the sleeves, Jessica didn’t think about the fact she was doing it. An odd cold snap had set into the area, making September feel more like late October. She didn’t really mind, but she was definitely too stubborn to turn her heater on yet. The chill helped keep her awake anyways.
All the warmth of the cardigan sleeves around her arms reminded Jessica of worn wool. So different from her tee shirts she owned and her favorite black leather jacket. The one she’d thrown in a dumpster after Kilgrave, but hadn’t been able to mentally replace yet.
Hugging herself, pulling the sides of the cardigan tight over her chest, Jessica rested her head against the back of the couch. She hated Murdock. He was nice and understanding and hadn’t pressed her the way Luke had. The last thing she wanted to be seen as was weak to the man she kind of liked.
Somehow Murdock knew what she needed too. Privacy, familiarity and something grounding. Maybe because he was the devil and was privy to her thoughts. It was possible some weird emotional support cardigan was just fitting for her and what Jessica needed too. The things that she’d loved as hers, like the color blue.