Chapter Text
It was all darkness now; the city lights didn’t quite reach his eyes. The one radiant glimmer in this world was her beneath the starlight, so small she fit along the length of his forearms, that were crying under the reflection on the rain that pitter pattered along that floor length window pane.
He cried too, the tears constricting his throat as he sung to her a fractured lullaby.
He was all she had now. And he was as broke as the ditty he sobbed at her sleeping face. A shadow in all black, the last rocks he could cling to gone. He was drowning without him.
“Hyung…” he rasped. “What do I do now… how do I do this without you? Your baby… she’s so small. So tiny. So vulnerable. How can I be what she needs, when I could barely survive with you still here? I have nothing to offer her, Hyung. My dreams ground to dust. They fired me, Hyung. Because I refused to be the last to see you off. If she is all that is that his good in this world, what could someone as weak as me hope to offer her?”
But that baby girl withed in his arm and on instinct he pulled her closer to his chest… where she nestled, snuffled and then stilled in his arms.
He pressed a gentle kiss to the soft down at the top of her head, shaking his own, shaking himself out of it. If he had nothing left now but her, he would make this baby girl his life.
“I will try my best.” He promised her. “What little I have… Halin, I will give it all to you.”
/
(Three Years Later)
He had always hated hospitals. He supposed most people did, and in that he wasn’t special. But when it came to him, Kim Seokjin felt a physical illness each time he passed through the self- sliding door that was almost debilitating.
However, for Kim Halin, he would stomach nearly anything. He remembered the night the two of them spent doubled over the same toilet with a stomach bug. Loathe to pass the wretched thing to his friends below; he had refused to go to them for help. Three long days of retching, cleaning, and copious laundry, then finally he gave in. He hitched a ride with her to the hospital.
Back then he cradled her weakly to his chest, a few drips and some meds had them on the mend. But she refused to leave his arms for a week. She sat there now, a few months later as he spoke, two little toy cars, one red and one blue in her hands.
“What does that mean… trauma? Physical trauma? Her head?”
“In a manner, yes.” The doctor nodded, his hands folded atop her files on the desk across from them “Though her scans are clear and any sign of physical injury is long gone, the physical trauma can lead to emotional… or mental trauma.”
Seokjin’s sword straight brows folded. “She was only a baby back then. She is almost four years old. Surely she won’t remember that crash now?”
“It’s less of a memory, more of an instinct. She may not remember the scene but the feelings she felt instead.”
Those doe eyes moved down and watched the little girl drive those two cars in to a collision time and time again before… bile in his throat, he covered her two little hands gently. Big, dark eyes turned up to him, quite flummoxed beneath a fan of lashes.
“Will she… ever speak? Will she ever have a voice?”
“It is very possible. But we can never know for certain. It might take her weeks… months… years.”
Jin nodded smoothing the pretty lilac bows of her dress flat and combing his caramel hair from his eyes.
“What do- what do I do for her?”
“If you are struggling with her care… we suggest you enrol her into childcare, where licensed specialists and educators will be on hand to provide her what she needs.”
Jin felt the pang of shame, of guilt, of failure so heavy on his heart. And at the same time, a profound sense of urgent emptiness at thought of losing her to someone else so soon. He held onto her a little tighter and like she knew he needed her, she turned to nuzzle into the pale grey of his sweater.
His hands passed her long, waved hair as he pondered.
“It seems a little soon for her to leave me.”
The man with deep set wrinkles between his brow sighed and removed his circle lenses before suggesting.
“Then…there are playgroups? There are book clubs at the local library on the weekends too. There is a man there named Kim Namjoon. Ask for him, he is special needs educator. Has gotten a few of them talking too.”
A few of them.
“Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin nodded. “I… I think we can try that.”
/
It was as silent that night as it always was, only the bubbling of a pan and the jolly theme of her favourite cartoon playing low on the screen while she scribbled. If there was one thing that Jin found comfort in, it was that she was always well fed. He was always the cook between the Kim brothers, thank god he had found a partner in Yanli, though he could sew and clean better than most, he was a comically awful cook. She munched on her boiled egg and blinked up at him with full moon eyes. Halin was so tiny across the counter from him, behind her a huge window and the city lights.
Her drawing was beside her bento style plate, her cat paw chopsticks still buried in the sticky rice.
“What did you draw baby?” he wondered aloud as he peer over his bowl to take a look. She had messily doodled four figures there, three of which bore wings, one a lopsided crown.
Beneath each she had scribble near illegible labels in aubergine.
The princess: Halin
The three angels: Eomma, Appa, Seokjinnie.
His utensils froze upon his bottom lip, dismay struck into his heart as he met her curious gaze and the brows folding, stroked her chubby little cheek.
“Halin… you know Uncle isn’t leaving you. Right? I’m right here, I promise.”
She nodded once and squeezed his hand as if to soothe him. What was she thinking, Seokjin worried, what horrors did she imagine? Was she suffering? It pained and terrified Seokjin to simply not know.
That night, once she was bathed, dried, dressed and put to bed, he found his mind racing and wondering as he patted her off to sleep. There was one pink light he left glowing for her; the rest of her room was her favourite colour, purple. Coquettish furnishings were contrasted with trucks and wooden tool sets and her favourite two plushies remained tucked in her arms. A dinosaur named Dalnim and bunny she named after one of their two neighbours below.
The Library he had been recommended worked the night until ten-thirty. It was half past nine as he paced the front room, his sudden movements whisking the net curtains and draping Pothos leaves near the window into a frenzy.
Finally he pushed himself over the edge, cross legged on beige of his sofa he tapped his new contact and let the phone ring, anxiety like scalding smoke in his chest, leaving it tender.
On the seventh ring he was greeted by a low voice that was slightly roughened by what seemed to have been a long day. It was oddly soothing, like the low rumble of the heating system in the grey of dawn as it started up to stave off the cold.
“Hello?”
“Hi… uh, sorry to disturb you.”
“Mm? No don’t worry; I was dozing while I was supposed to be working. You actually helped me out by waking me up.” The awkward little chuckle seemed to put Seokjin at ease; he sunk back into the plush pillows and watched the snow fall. “What can I do for you?”
“My… my little girl. They asked me to refer her to educational facilities, but I worry she is too young. So I told them I would give your classes a try.”
“Yeah? An honour. How old is she?”
“Almost four.”
“Mm, three does feel too young for school; one barely has a chance to establish the foundations of who they are before five. Their own feelings, their own voice.”
“Only that…”
“Yes?”
“She cannot speak… she has no voice.”
The was a pause short but potent where Jin was sure he was being judged, but then, very gently, Kim Namjoon spoke. “I think she does. I think every child has a loud and very important voice.”
“You do?”
“Yes,” he told him. “Do you know why I started this business? My philosophy… I guess you can call it that, is that through art, books, writing… a child finds a sense of self strong enough to give them a voice whether it’s a verbal voice or something more abstract.”
“That sounds… nice. That’s… really comforting actually.”
“Mm, just because she cannot speak, it doesn’t mean she has nothing to say.”
Jin let a smile curl his lips ever so slightly. “You’re right. It’s only that… they believe she could have some emotional trauma standing in her way. I am frightened that she might be… overwhelmed or-“
“How about this. Bring her along tomorrow if you can. You can look around, stay with her. You can both see if it for you or if it’s not. Yeah? If not that’s fine!”
“Mm.”
“Think about it overnight, Sir and if you don’t want to come then that’s okay too. I can tell you love her very much.”
“You can?”
“I can,” there was brief pause before he added. ”You’re doing just fine, you don’t need to worry so much. And if you are ready, I’ll see you tomorrow at 10:30am.”
“O-Okay.”
“Then I’ll wish you goodnight. Hm?”
“Yes, goodnight.”
/
He had been pacing in his overthought for precisely three minutes before he received a knock upon his door. The peephole revealed a handsome face, his eyes bulging into marbles like those of a pup as he peered back at Seokjin from the hallway
“Hyung… let me in.”
Jin sighed, put let his dongsaeng in regardless.
“What are you doing up here, its late!”
“I was painting.”
True to his words, that handsome face, his long fingers and his half unbuttoned pinstripe shirt were stained in primary colours.
“And I could hear you pacing.” He smirked and he turned to him from the centre of the sitting room rug. “What’s on your mind tonight, Hyung?”
Kim Taehyung, with dark brown locks tumbling from where they were brushed back and landing artfully on his forehead. He was handsome, ridiculously so. Like a painting model come to life. He had looked almost identical to this three years ago where he came to him like shooting star out the blue.
/
It had been three weeks, three weeks…. Twenty one days and five hundred and four hours since she had become his baby girl. It was gloomy out, the Autumn had finally come and days were darker. He thought maybe that attributed to the irritability he had faced when Halin, just recovered from a cold had wailed and screamed in his arms for an hour and a half straight. It drew disgruntled visits by barking neighbours who one by one convened by his front door to chastise and berate him as he held his exhausted baby in his similarly exhausted arms.
He felt it crawl from his stomach to his throat, white hot and seething. His last nerves snapping one by one… by one.
Then, like a knight from beyond the crowds that parted for him as he barked for them to move, came Kim Taehyung.
Originally Seokjin had pulled her closer to his chest as she screamed, scared this pretty newcomer was about to lecture him too. But instead a deep, velveteen voice told him. “Hyung-nim… may I?”
Holding out his arms the crowd seemed to still and silence. Seokjin, incredibly weary refused to budge, cradling the bundle of purple stars tight to him.
“I raised my baby brother. Trust me… I couldn’t run away with her even if I wanted to. He would insist I have forgotten him. Hell to pay.”
Eventually, with some coaxing he had poured her into his arms, where almost immediately she settled and the crowds with nothing new to complain about left them alone with the elder in shock.
He was covered in sick, in pee, in god knows what… he must have been a mess,
“How… did you do that?” Jin wondered aloud.
Tae shrugged, tipping the now snoozing baby back into the elder’s arms. “Experience? I raised my little brother when we were young. He was like this too. Can I give you advice, Hyung?”
Adjusting her with a shaky gasp, Seokjin nodded. “Please do.”
“Relax.”
“I… huh?”
Tae leaned up against the door frame and repeated. “Breathe… my brother was like this too. When you are tense, the baby tends to be tense too.”
“Oh…”
“Mm.”
“You… say you looked after you brother? How old is he?”
Averting his eyes, Taehyung smiles, the affection clear in his eyes. “Two years younger than I was.”
“Oh…”
And so openly, so unashamed, Taehyung told him. “They were alcoholics. His father and my mother. If I didn’t take care of him, no one else would. And I wasn’t willing to lose him.”
“She isn’t my daughter…” Taehyung blanched at Jin’s sudden admission as he blinked down into her tiny face. “She was my brother’s… he was all I had. Until her. Then he and my sister and law…”
“I’m sorry Hyung.”
“Me too.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not, what either of us… or your brother-“
“Jungkook.”
“Jungkook.” He repeated. “What we have been through isn’t right.”
“You’re right… but we are stronger for it.”
“I am?”
“Yes.”
/
Taehyung and Jungkook had once been teenagers on the streets, little vagabonds. It was through their grit and determination they arrived where they were now, in an apartment building where the once famed singer Kim Seokjin became their Hyung.
“What wrong, Hyung?” Tae asked him perched on his bar stool as Jin turned up the heat and leant himself against the back of the sofa.
“I worried about her…”
“Halin?”
“Mm.”
“Why?”
“She still isn’t speaking. The doctor thinks it might be trauma, they wanted me to put her into full time childcare and I know soon I will have to work but, I know it’s too soon for her. They suggested this book club thing… this guy called Kim Namjoon?”
“Kim Namjoon?” Tae eyes positively pricked up.
“Yeah?”
“I know him, Jungkookie is interning there before graduation. He’s a really good guy. Sweet. Very bumbly, but smart… thoughtful. And his place is beautiful. They built it in an old church with stained glass windows, it’s gorgeous. She would love it. She loves to read.”
“She does.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” Taehyung gave him a look. He sighed and immediately folded. “It’s selfish of me; it’s not fair on her either. But I’m so scared to let her go.”
“You aren’t selfish, Hyung.”
“I know but it feels like it.”
“Tell you what… I’ll drive you down there tomorrow. You can stay with her and then after, I’ll drive you home.”
“You don’t have to-“
“Hyung… you’ve barely slept.”
“…”
“I can hear you… remember?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For being concerned? Being human? I don’t accept this apology.”
“Brat.”
“Your favourite brat.” Tae reminded him as he patted his thigh. “Get a few hours in. Jungkookie and I will come early. We’ll dress her if you feed her.”
His heart swelled, he pulled him in for a hug before anything else. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to.” She is a niece to me as much as she is to you.
/
Halin had long since been afraid of cars, so Taehyung drove slowly, so slowly the other drivers would curse and honk their horns. He carried on regardless, tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the music.
Jungkook, beside him in the passenger seat, turned his penny eyes back to watch the two curled together in the back seat. Jungkook was the sweet, quiet younger brother of Kim Taehyung who Halin had always known to make her laugh. Taehyung was the man she could listen to for hours in fascination forever in awe, Jungkook was the one who nudged her and had her giggling.
He reached back, the morning sun reflected from the snow kissed streets colouring them paler than usual and he squeezed her pink cheek before patting her little bobble hatted head lightly.
“Nearly there.” He promised. “You’ll love these other Oppas. They’re very kind.”
Then those massive eyes drifted up, to the locked jaw and misty eyes of the man she pouted and clung too.
“Hyung… we’ll be there soon.” He swore.
Halin wasn’t the only one hated car rides.
He nodded, a single wooden nod as Tae glanced briefly at them through the mirror and crawled on through the streets of Seoul.
/
The building itself was stunning. What once was a catholic church with grey steeples and romantically gothic spires was now a library bursting with perfectly placed books in dark concaves. The smaller niceties and carvings were faded now, the stained glass replaced from religious imagery to starry skies and sunrises in vibrant hues, the edges crystalline. And inside, as Jin adjusted his girl on his hip was the heady scent of old paper. The ceilings weren’t quite as high as a cathedral, but the details were still present. The thin beams gilded at the edges, the arch ways leading down a centre aisle where a front desk was newly built in stained wood at the centre.
Between two columns, wrapped in fake ivy and metal lanterns was a small, pale man with round cheeks and cat eyes. He wore a simple emerald turtle neck and pewter, spiked ear rings to offset the hair parted to one side.
He sorted stacks of dog-eared, and broken-spined books on to a trundling pine trolley tangled with fairy lights. Jungkook broke from the group and bounced toward him. “Yoongi-Hyung!”
Beside him Jin felt Tae shift awkwardly from foot, the man with such confidence in who his was, was suddenly all lowered lashes and pink cheeks.
“See, I’m only ten minutes la-“
But Yoongi lifted a single finger and Jungkook was skidding to a stop before the desk.
“I don’t know if you realised this, Jungkookie.” He murmured. “But this is a library and there are people here studying.”
“Ah. Yeah, sorry, Hyung.”
“Mm.” He booped his nose before casting those dark eyes from Tae where he lingered a while, across to Seokjin and Halin.
“Kim Seokjin?”
Jin’s ears burnt under his morbidly curious gaze. “Yes?”
“Mm. I’m a fan of your work, your voice is beautiful.”
“Th-Thankyou?”
“Don’t look so scared, Hyung, I’m no saesang. I love music. I love great music. That’s all. Who’s this?” Yoongi wondered as Halin tucked her face shyly into his neck.
“This is my niece, Halin. We’re here to meet Kim Namjoon.”
Yoongi’s lashes flickered. “Ah.”
“Don’t be shy… baby.” Tae teased tapping her cheek.
“Yoongi, Hyung is nice!” Jungkook promised her. “He just looks scary.”
“Halin-ah?” Yoongi’s voice was so very tender, surprising each and every of them, Taehyung most of all. She lifted her pigtailed head gently and tentitively peak up from the curtain of her bangs. “It feels scary. Meeting new people, right?”
She nodded.
“I know, I get scared of it too. I’m sorry, I’m not very good at talking or smiling. But I’m very glad to meet you. Your butterfly clips are pretty.”
It was like some sort of magic, for she reached down a little hand that he took readily and squeezed in return.
“See. We’ll be friends. Okay? I’ll even let you keep the best books for longer.”
She nodded yet again.
Then, as Jin stood staring, Jungkook smug and Taehyung saccharine at the sight before them, the sweetest little giggle joined the party. Park Jimin was golden blonde and ethereal in the morning light, full lips, siren eyes that scrunched so adorably in his smile.
“Yoongi-Hyung, are we charming the patrons? That’s my job.” Halin’s eyes seemed to brighten when she set eyes on him, his cheeks were sparkling, there were rings on every finger, two emerald drop earrings and a diamond checkerboards coat draped over his shoulders.
“Howl?” Jin wondered.
“Mm.” Jimin smirked. “Or Park Jimin if you want my government name, hah.”
“Ah, yes. Sorry I’m Kim Seokjin, this is Halin.”
“Ah!” Jimin bowed to him and then to Halin. “My lady! Our Calcifer is waiting for you both. Will you and your footman follow me?” She smiled, so radiantly and bounced on her uncle’s hip. He could positively feel the excitement this man inspired; it was an infection spreading to the lips of all the men surrounding her, even Min Yoongi eyes twinkled in a faint affection for her.
Jimin led them across the walls of books, the little nooks and desks to a small, closed off room that had once been a private prayer room for the chaplain.
Instead, when Jimin opened the door, it was filled with rainbows cast from the crystalline stars that were being pinned to the roof as they spoke, there was a make shift hearth with a fake eggs and bacon in the pan, the back drop painted like the quaint cottage from the movie. And upon the stage were piles of fake gems, chalices and treasure, as though they were entering Howl’s glittering bed chamber, his oath pinned to the wall by ornate, silver scissors.
And then in the centre of the room, on a rickety wooden ladder, was the only man here tall enough to reach the ceiling. He was big in his build, built shoulders and arms and long, long legs. As he concentrated his dragon eye narrowed his jaw tensed and the dimples popped out on his beautifully deep skin.
He wore a thick, draping cardigan rolled at the sleeves and stitched with wavy pattern in warm neutral hues that resembled fire.
Jimin was caught by a patron before he could see the uncle and niece to his side, but he waved them in where they waited, blinking up at the man cast in all this beautiful light from below. They waited a few long moments as he stretched up on his tiptoes, whistling the theme from the movie beneath his breath.
“Are we too-“
A sharp flinch and the man was tumbling with his ladder. Jin flinched, but he could hardly drop Halin to catch him, so he landed on his backside with an: “Oof.”
“Early…” Jin finished.
Halin giggled, drawing the frowning man’s eyes upward. They stilled. Jin shivered. The younger seemed… quiet awe stricken by the man above. His face blank and his lips parted.
“Are you okay?” Jin wondered, Halin patting her Uncle’s shoulder playfully.
The younger shook his head to shake himself out of his stupor. “Oh… um n-no. No you’re…” he jumped up to his feet, wincing where it was about to bruise him violet and indigo. “You… um.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jin worried.
“Yeah…” the younger breathed. “Yeah… sorry I-“
“My name is Kim Seokjin, this is Halin.”
Halin was waving shyly, and the man’s dimples became even deeper as he smiled across at her, lopsidedly.
“Ah, hello Halin.”
Then he bowed to the man who had him so flustered. “We talked on the phone.”
“We did, I remember your voice.” It soothed me then, it soothes me now.
“I’m Kim Namjoon.” He grinned sheepishly. “Owner, decorator, man of zero balance.”
Seokjin smirked in response. “I see that.”
“The ladder is-“
“I mean the room, it’s beautiful.”
“Oh.”
/
“Yah…” Jimin whispered as he met Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi and an awkwardly unaware third wheel, Jeon Jungkook at the front counter. “Am I crazy?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook snorted. Earning shove from Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin in tandem.
“This kid!” Jimin huffed. “I mean was that not…”
“Kim Seokjin.” Yoongi confirmed, not lifting his eyes from his work.
Jimin was surprised, those siren eyes adorably wide. “You know him Hyung?”
“Yeah… his song was playing the day my brother died so I…I listened to him often. He helped.”
Tae wanted to reach out, clasp his arm… hold him. But Jimin was closer and he draped himself over his back. Tae was thoughtful a while watching the sun rise as the library was filling.
“His brother died too.” Jungkook murmured.
“Yah, Jungkookie…” Tae warned; so melancholy and so serious he drew Yoongi’s seemingly unattainable attention. He shook his head once and Jungkook quietened himself.
Yoongi watched Taehyung carefully, but the younger seemed lost in his thoughts, concern colouring his features so starkly, Yoongi felt his lips move, wanting to say something of help. But he found no words good enough.
Instead he wondered. “Do you want some tea? It’s cold today. I’m making some.”
Taehyung turned to him perplexed. “I thought you liked coffee Hyung? Americanos? No?”
Yoongi wondered briefly when he had noted that. “I just… wanted a change.”
You never liked coffee though, did you? I saw you struggle around each sip. But you wouldn’t ever tell me, it was left to Jungkook to tell me the truth instead.
/
Little Halin helped Jimin set up his stage as her Uncle and Namjoonie-Oppa talked beneath their breaths in the corner.
“Your daughter is so considerate and helpful too! She has such artistic vision, she’s ordering Park Jimin around so well.” Kim Namjoon chuckled.
“Not my daughter…” Jin whispered, a small smile fading and his hands clasped tight on his crossed legs as he admitted. “My brother’s”
“Oh.”
“He… he passed away.”
“Oh I… I didn’t….”
“You don’t need to say it.” Jin hummed, watching Jimin and Halin drape the fake bed in glittery sheets. “You couldn’t have known. She looks like we do. Like he did.”
Namjoon was quiet a while, something foundational swimming in his gaze. “Thank you…”
Jin was nonplussed as he turned back to him. “For what?”
“For taking her on. Doing your best. You’re a good man.”
Jin’s ears flamed beneath that deep, whirling galaxy of a gaze. “How so? It’s what I should have done. Anyone else would have-“
“No… they wouldn’t.” Namjoon sighed. “Believe me.”
Jin was watching him, quite taken by the openness of the emotion but not knowing where to place it.
Kim Namjoon was quite flustered beneath that stare. “Ah, sorry… I…”
“Don’t be.”
“Anyway. I wanted to thank you for stepping in. And loving her the best you can. I can say with near certainty that you saved her.”
Jin was lost in thought. But unconsciously he whispered. “I think it was her who saved me.”
Namjoon met his gaze; it lingered there for a moment before Namjoon broke into the most lovely, goofy smile, coaxing one from Seokjin in return.
/
Park Jimin was a born performer and a natural with children. When his eyes lit up so did theirs. He read and acted each word with gusto and with the aura of joy that lit up the room. And the man who had come with a swarm of kids last minute, joined him on stage as the King, as Sulliman, as the Witch of the Waste, donning all sorts of personas and drawing giggles from their crowd.
Jung Hoseok was the owner of a small orphanage a few streets away, a man with sunrise eyes and a heart-shape smile who wore bright colours and exuded hope. The kids, both his own and those dropped here by their guardians, all seemed to converge around him and with his quiet encouragement, made new and fast friends.
Namjoon, Seokjin observed from his corner, coasted the outskirts, soothing and coaxing the more timid children whose parents had not stayed behind to watch them. Eventually he urged all into the group but Halin, who sat alone on castle kingdom rug clashing carriages into each to other again and again. Something restless nauseated Jin at the thought that this might be his fault. That his over obsessive sheltering of Halin could isolate her socially and leave her so lonely.
But she wasn’t lonely for long, for Namjoon was lowering himself down onto the rug cross legged. She blinked up at him shyly, he floofed the tulle of her dress playful, they shared a smile and he held out a hand for the purple carriage. Together they pulled them gently around the winding rug roads to the castle.
It was really so simple?
Wordlessly, Namjoon had given her control of her trauma, while guiding her in a way that didn’t seem false or insistent. He clapped for her gently when she found her way to the castle.
“My Lady!” he whispered. “You made it to the castle. And you earned a dance with this demon!”
He pulled her up with gleeful giggles and clumsily waltzed with her in his arms. Jimin, who had looked up from the book to see the scenes unfolding; Jin dreamy eyed as he watched his little girl dance with a dopey little fire demon.
“My little witches and wizards, it seems Calcifer isn’t the dancer that Howl Pendragon is. Shall we show him how it’s done?”
Hobi grinned and charged forth. “Let’s dance!”
Chuckling, Jung Hoseok, most currently playing Markl bounded into the throngs with his wizard master. Together they revolved, spinning fireworks while Namjoon spun the little star about them and out of control, so unsteady on his feet that eventually he fell during the climax and a swarm of those sparks piled atop him as he writhed below, Halin still protected in his arms.
His two brothers were laughing so hard their arms were weak as they tried and failed to pry the babies away, until eventually, not realising how wide he was smiling, Seokjin stood and helped lift them away from his body to the leers and hand fanning of the gaggle of Mamas nearby.
Then he hauled Namjoon upright, the elder easily keeping Halin steady in his arms.
“You have no grip on your balance but you have a perfect hold of my girl.”
“That’s my girl…” Namjoon smirked through the quoted line, drawing the squeak of a laugh from Seokjin’s chest that surprised even him. For it came directly from his heart, a joy that he didn’t know he still possessed.
A strange urge came over him. To squish Halin between them into a hug and waltz with them to the jaunty sway of the violins. Instead he dropped his hand, turning away to miss the sadness in Namjoon’s gaze as he did.
There was still the conclusion. The story was yet to end.
But Jung Hoseok turned to him as Namjoon returned to his work, plonking himself on the beanbag beside him and with his hands patting a rhythm on his crossed legs. He nudge the elder, ever gentle.
“He’s adorable right? Namjoonie?”
“He’s has the heart of a child with the mind of an old sage.”
“And the body a marine commander.” Hobi chuckled.
Jin’s eyes flickered briefly to his peripherals where, out of earshot, the parents were whispering behind their hands.
“I’m sure his wife if very happy to have him.”
His eyes shooting wide open, Hobi smirked. “A wife? Ah, Hyung, I think you’ve got him wrong.”
“Oh…” a little flicker beneath his chest. “He’s single?”
Hobi guffawed. “Mm, single. Very, very single.”
“I…”
“He so good with the babies. I think they are scared of him at first. Y’know, he’s big, tall…looks so serious. Then he lights up when he sees them… he’s so sweet, very loveable. He understands them, what they are scared of and how to comfort them.”
“But who comforts him? Who comforts the comforter?”
Hobi thought about it for the first time and realised, shamefully he didn’t know the answer. “I don’t know.”
/
Taehyung was incredibly coy on their way home and Jungkook incredibly smug, his hand in Halin’s as she burrowed, half asleep into his chest.
Seokjin’s eyes were burning into the side as his face as he drove and Tae’s cheeks were reddening by the moment.
“Hyung, you’re distracting me.”
“Because I was too tired, huh? That’s why you insisted on staying?”
“Listen…”
“You like him.”
“I don’t know who-“
“Min Yoongi.”
“I…”
“He does.” Jungkook confirmed. “Head over heels.”
“AISH!” Taehyung glared at his half-brother through the rear view mirror. If he didn’t have to keep his hand on the wheel, he would have hit him. “Mind your business.”
“My future brother in law isn’t my business?”
“You-“
“He’s cute…” Jin interrupted. “He’s gentle too; he’s lovely with Halin.”
And Tae seemed to melt upon those words, his smiles serene and as the city flashed by, the lights were sparkling in his eyes. “It the way he looks at me too. Like he sees it all without me saying a word… it makes me shiver.”
“You really do like him.” Jin whispered looking out across the city scape and realising that for once, his hands weren’t furled into tight balls.
“I do.” Tae pouted. “But he doesn’t wanna be around me.”
Seokjin was curious, Jungkook confused and the eldest murmured; “Are you sure?”
“He never…” he sighed. “When I try to get closer to him, he always seems to shut me down. Or block me out.”
They were quiet for a brief moment, only the drone of the engine and Halin’s soft even breaths filling the silence. “Then stop trying.” Jin concluded.
“Huh?”
“For whatever reason, people like Min Yoongi have many boundaries. If he truly likes you he will make the first move. Stay around him at a distance, let him make the first move.”
“You’re an evil genius, Hyung.” Jungkook snorted from the back.
“Yah… be quiet. Keep baby girl still.”
“Mhmmm.”
The drove on… each tangled in a messy web of their own thoughts.
/
Halin was brimming with energy come bath time. Bouncing and sloshing the water up Seokjin’s sleeves and onto the slate tile. She was swaying on her sheets and Cinamonroll pillow as he dried her hair with the hairdryer on ‘cool’. She was dancing in her pink striped pyjamas all the way up to the time Seokjin tucked her into bed, clutching her Howl’s Moving Castle popup book in her arms.
They even danced just before bed, spinning and giggling and hugging tight. It had been a happier day than he could have ever remembered with her and he rocked her in his arms until she was sleeping.
Then, as she dozed somewhere between asleep and awake, the lights low and her cheeks rosy, he pet her head of shiny hair and felt a sharp tug at his heartstrings. He had been so quick to correct people when they assumed she was his.
But wasn’t she? He was raising her in the image of his saviour, his Hyung but still she laughed and smiled as he did. Wasn’t she at least… in small part, his daughter too?
He dimed the lights, leaving only the night light to colour the room and waddled his way to his own room to sleep, humming and swaying his hips to a memorised melody.
/
Seokjin was still shirtless atop his pinstriped sheets, his skin still sheened from the shower and his hair still damp, rather than the moonlight from the Georgian arch windows, the phone screen lit his face.
A photo sent from Kim Taehyung with simple tag line.
Hypocrite <3 - TH
Beneath it was him and Kim Namjoon, both of them beaming with joy, Halin bright eyed and laughing between him. Seokjin was surprised when he saw himself upon the screen; it was not the reflection he was used to seeing in the mirror each morning. No dark circles, no furrowed brow… he closed the lock screen and placed the phone at the centre of his chest.
Kim Namjoon’s deep, core tunnelling words seemed to reverberate in his ears… words whispered to Seokjin with a hand at his waist, just before he followed a sleepy Halin and Taekook to the car.
“She is perfect Hyung. You’ve done so well. She’s so kind, so bright. You’ve done so well for her.”
He closed his eyes and behind them he saw the two of them dance, how the kids clung to him, especially those most shy or vulnerable.
He thought about Namjoon’s smile, those taught muscles… the way those eyes bore into him. Penetrating his shell.
“It the way he looks at me. Like he sees it all without saying a word… it makes me shiver.”
The shudder ripped through him without warning, he watched the goose-bumps crawl up his forearms and between his legs, something stiffened.
He groaned, rolling onto his front and burying his face in the pillows.
Taehyung was right about everything, he was a hypocrite to be sure.