Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The story began in the Easton Magic Academy. It’s a historic and prestigious school that has produced numerous pillars of the Magic Realm. 

Some random shot of the magic students goofing around the academy, and oh, there’s Mash Burnedead training in the middle of the field, terrifying everyone nearby due to his sheer strength.

Anyway, Mash is not an important person for this stupid show. Here, at the Adler House. We see a student with black hair with a yellow streak on the left side of his fringe. His magic mark appears on his right cheek as a straight line from his eye to his jaw.

—

Finn Ames

“This group is utterly detestable!”

Origin: Mashle: Magic & Muscles

—

“It’s kinda odd to have a peaceful moment without my friends doing anything crazy.” Finn sighed as he was chilling in his room. “Or just anything going on.”

He finished his glass of water before placing it on the table. It was met by silence until he broke it again.

“Why do I feel like I’m missing something?” Finn thought.

He glanced around the room, probably expecting Mash to break down the door to enter the room, but he didn’t appear. He looked at the clock; it was still noon. And finally, something clicked in his mind.

“OH NO, I FORGOT WE HAD A POTION ASSIGNMENT!” Finn screamed out at the top of his lungs.

He immediately scrambled his drawer to bring out the material.

“Actually… Maybe I should take a nap to restore my energy first!” Finn thought.

And so, he dozed off on his table.

CLING, CLING, CLING.

A few hours later. He was awake, stretching his arms.

“OKAY, I’M GOING TO FINISH MY ASSIGNMENT, BUT FIRST—LET ME CALL MASH—”

He realized he was not in his room anymore, but rather an empty white void beside the table and chair.

“Eugh… what’s going on? Is this some kind of a prank?” Finn muttered with a mix of confusion and fear.

He looked around the empty void.

“Uh… HELLO?”

He turned around, and the furniture was no longer with him.

“WH—IT WAS RIGHT THERE!”

He’s now panicking that someone probably kidnapped him with magic. (Well, he’s not wrong.)

“I’m doomed, I’m doomed, I’m doomed. If I die in here with no food and water around to help. I’m gonna be a huge disappointment to my older brother—”

“Man, shut the hell up,” A grown-up male voice was heard behind.

He looked to his side and noticed two men. One was wearing a dirty white suit and had a frying pan. The other one is wearing a yellow shirt, overall pants, and has a blue cap. His outfit was dirty as well.

“Uh… do I know you? Also, you don’t have a magic marker!” Finn yelled.

“Magic marker? What the hell is that? Did a kid draw a black line in your face?” The man responded with an annoyed tone.

“Draw? No! No, no, no! Everyone is born with a magic marker, and why don’t you have it?!” Finn remarked.

“I think this man’s insane, let’s soothe his brain,” The white suited man said.

He intensely approached him with his trusty frying pan.

“Uh… hold on! You can’t just—”

He started to swing. Finn immediately took out his wand and yelled:

“CHANGEAS!”

Finn and the man swapped places, causing the attacker himself to get hit by his frying pan. A loud clang was heard, and it knocked the survivor unconscious.

“Good thing I still have my wand with me,” Finn sighed in relief.

“God damn, kid. Was that a magic show?” The other man, wearing a cap, said.

“Seriously! Who are you two?! Why do you not have a magic marker?!” Finn pointed his wand toward the man.

He quickly surrendered.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, chill out, dude. I mean no harm!” He defended himself. “I tried to stop Nick for what he did earlier.”

“What’s with that weird clothing?! I don’t see any fashion like that in the Magic Realm!” Finn said.

“Dude, what the heck is a ‘Magic Realm’?” The man answered.

“Wait… you’re not from there?” Finn asked.

“Never heard of it, I’m Ellis. I grew up in Savannah. Got a good day before the zombie apocalypse occurred, and the two of us… just got here after we escaped with a chopper,” Ellis introduced himself.

“Ugh…”

The white suited man finally woke up.

“What the hell was that hillbilly ass move?” He groaned.

“Oh, Nick! You alright?” Ellis said.

“Super,” Nick grunted before facing the magician student. “I asked you before. What the hell was that?”

“I’m a student from the Easton Magic Academy,” Finn said.

“Easton Magic Academy? I find that bull, honestly,” Nick admitted.

“Are you two not from the Magic Realm?”

“Nope.”

“Never heard of it.”

Then it clicked in Ellis’s mind.

“OOOH! That’s it! I figured out a mystery!” Ellis clapped his hands. “We might’ve been from a different dimension!”

“A what?” Finn said.

“Dude, it would make so sense if we’re from a different universe. I betcha they brought a literal monster with us in here,” Ellis claimed.

“You have taken too many candy bars, Ellis,” Nick sighed.

“Oh, the candy bar? That reminds me… My buddy Keith tried to steal the gumball from the machine by using his fingers and—”

“NOPE! We’re cutting to the card info!” Nick shouted.

—

Nick

“Your Mom’s car.”

Origin: Left 4 Dead 2

—

Ellis

“My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows, but the police were too busy tear-gassing him to ask what he was doing up there. He screamed for an entire YEAR every single time he opened his eyes! Oh, man. At first it was funny, then it just got sad, but then it got funny again! Oh, man.”

Origin: Left 4 Dead 2

—

“Damn, come on! I was interested in his story!” Finn cried.

“Yeah, Nick? It’s to boost our morale with a new guy, yeah?” Ellis grinned.

“I hate you, Ellis,” Nick murmured.

“Well, I still like you, Nick,” Ellis shrugged.

“Holy crap, now there are two of them,” Nick sighed.

“Well? How do we search for our way out?” Finn asked.

“A way out? Like, where? Look at this god damn field,” Nick showed them the flat void. “Where the hell can we find an exit in a place like this? I feel like I’m having a bad dream.”

Slaps.

“Man, it’s not a dream,” Finn caressed his cheek after slapping himself.

“Hey, what if we look for other survivors? Who knew they could use some help?” Ellis said.

“Or… they will just kill and eat us,” Nick stated, causing Finn to gulp in fear. “Whatever, if we have no other plan, then, sure.”

The trio had taken off.

A short-haired ginger girl, seen in a blue high school uniform and a green necktie, was panicking in the middle of the void.

“Guys, what the HELL is happening?! The Deduction Queen Sonoko shall know what happened right now!”

—

Sonoko Suzuki

“Are you an idiot? So what if friendship is unreliable and fragile! That way, when you communicate with your heart, you can feel the warmth inside. If it were as hard as some chattering iron plate, you wouldn’t feel the warmth, y’know?”

Origin: Detective Conan

—

She looked around frantically again.

“I was GOING to gift my cutie patootie boyfriend my chocolate box! I walk up to him, and BAM! I was suddenly knocked out and brought here!” Sonoko growled. “Is this a padded room or something? Too big for that! I hope Makoto finds his way to save me. Oh, THAT’S NOT IT—”

She kept yapping until she noticed something strange.

“Huh?”

A pink smoke appeared in front of her, revealing a blue-haired man with a pink sweater and a yellow baby hat. He strikes a pose for Sonoko.

“OH MY GOD, IS THAT BABY SAJA?!” Sonoko gasped in excitement.

“Indeed. Goo-goo, gaga,” Baby replied.

—

Baby Saja

“Goo-goo-gaga.”

Origin: K-Pop Demon Hunters

—

“Pleased to see another fan of ours, although this wasn’t how I imagined a fan would spot me in this weird place,” Baby chuckled.

“Yeah, RIGHT! I wanted to return to my home, but seeing you changed my mind entirely!” Sonoko said.

“Oh,

“EEEK! Does that mean I’m staying with the Baby Saja for a while?!” Sonoko exclaimed.

“You’re loud, can you be quieter?” A new voice spoke up to Sonoko.

They turned to their left to see a high school boy wearing a purple school uniform with his hair tied on his head. He looked like someone who had just woken up from sleeping in the classroom.

“Damn. Who are you, weirdo?” Sonoko asked him.

“Weirdo? I’m not,” The boy yawned. “Where the hell am I? I had a good nap during my class.”

“Okay, Mr. Weirdo.”

“Kindaichi Hajime. That’s my name,” he yawned.

—

Hajime Kindaichi

“I swear in the name of my grandfather!”

Origin: Kindaichi Case Files

—

“Whoa, you actually look like a school slacker,” Sonoko snickered.

“Shut up, man. I’m actually trying to get a good grade,” Kindaichi sighed. “Or maybe not.”

“Oh, hey! New guys and girls!”

They noticed a black-pink haired man wearing a normal outfit.

“Man, all of you are going to flip by seeing me trapped in a weird room!” The influencer told them. “It’s the one and only—”

“Who the fuck are you?” Sonoko asked.

“YOU DON’T KNOW ME?” The influencer was flabbergasted. “Does the name Kai Monteago sound familiar to you?”

—

Kai Monteago

*Sniff*

Origin: Project: Eden’s Garden

—

“Uh… never heard of you,” Kindaichi admitted.

“Of course, you won’t! You looked like someone who wasn’t really educated well in school!” He accused.

“What the fuck are you on?” Kindaichi deadpanned.

“Your popularity doesn’t matter, boy,” Baby grinned.

“YUP! He’s the real deal, while you looked like a horse mutt!” Sonoko snapped.

“Horse?! It’s the second time I’ve been called that! I thought some of you would’ve recognized me!” The influencer wailed.

Stare.

“Come on! Kai Monteago!”

“Are any influencers acting like this?” Kindaichi asked.

“Hmph. There’s a difference between a K-pop idol and an internet influencer,” Baby claimed.

“WHAT?! A K-Pop idol?! Right here in this very room?!” Kai groaned.

Suddenly, Kindaichi noticed a strange magic pattern across the idol’s arm. He saw the kid staring.

“What’s up?” Baby asked.

“Hm… I don’t know… but I feel like there’s a dangerous person among us,” Kindaichi glared at the Saja boy.

“What’s the matter, man?” Baby asked the teen. “Are you accusing me of committing a murder?”

“Sorta. Well… how do I put this?”

He scooted closer toward the idol.

“Are you going to strip him?!” Sonoko began drooling.

“WHAT THE HELL — NO! I’m trying to prove something malicious about this guy!”

He lifted the guy’s shirt, and there was a glowing purple marker around his body.

“God damn! Are you a magician?!” Sonoko asked.

“I don’t think he is,” Kai replied.

Suddenly, he turned into his true self.

“Well, I’m absorbing your souls now. Say goodbye to your pathetic human life!” Baby turned into his demon version, laughing like a maniac.

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAH! THE DARK AURA HAS GOTTEN TO HIM!” Sonoko shrieked.

“WAAAA! SPARE US!” Kai cried in mercy.

“Shit, I didn’t think he was a demon in disguise,” Kindaichi was sweating nervously.

“What’s up, gang?” A new voice was heard.

They turned around to see a blond man, dressed sharply.

“You got a name or something?”

“Arataka Reigen.”

—

Arataka Reigen

“That’s the work of an evil spirit!”

Origin: Mob Psycho 100

—

The demon faced the fraud.

“YOU! Yeah, you peasant! I am going to drain your soul to the point where you can no longer crawl on Earth!” Baby Saja claimed.

Silence.

“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay—” Reigen yelled as he threw a salt shaker toward him.

He screamed in agony until he slowly transformed back into his disguised form. He glanced at his body out of curiosity, thinking he’d disappear for good.

“What the fuck—”

Sonoko immediately crushed his spine with a bear hug.

“Yay! The demon has been exorcised! Baby Saja’s back to his normal self!” Sonoko cried in joy. “Thank you, Mr. Reigen! By the way, you look kinda charming!”

“What the hell happened here?” Baby was genuinely confused.

Sonoko knelt in front of Reigen. Praising him.

“Are you unironically fawning over him now?” Kindaichi deadpanned.

“Yeah! He’s very handsome, just look at him!” Sonoko gasped.

“HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME?” Kai gawked.

“Yeah? What about me?!” Baby said.

“These guys are crazy,” Kindaichi groaned.

A war veteran showed up in a wheelchair, strolling in the void mindlessly.

“What the hell happened here?” The man said.

He kept strolling.

“Do I have to wake up after five months of coma again and be stuck in this Nazi’s chamber when I wake up?” He sighed.

“What’s a ‘Nazi’?”

He looked down to see a girl wearing a green dress and a pink beret. The war veteran wasn’t sure if she was a part of the German club or just an innocent kid.

“I won’t tell you much, kid. But you gotta know it. They’re a huge scum that has been crawling on Earth,” He claimed.

“Oh…” The girl said. “Are they some kind of dangerous cult?”

“Sort of,” He said.

“Thanks… Mr…? I’m Misfortune,” She introduced.

“William B.J. Blazkowicz.”

—

William B.J. Blazkowicz

“Nazi scum.”

Origin: Wolfenstein

—

Misfortune Ramirez Hernandez

“Yikes forever!”

Origin: Little Misfortune

—

“Um… I was playing chase with Benjamin, but… I ended up getting lost in the woods and then here…” Misfortune stated.

“You shouldn’t be running around mindlessly, kid,” Blazkowicz sighed.

“But, Mr. Voice convinced me to play with him as much as I want,” Misfortune replied shyly.

“Who?”

“Huh? Mr. Voice? Where are you?”

Mr. Voice is not present in the white void. Apparently.

“Hey, hey! What am I witnessing?”

It was a blonde girl with twin pigtails, and she seemed to be wearing a dress made of latex.

“I dunno about you guys, but I’m Burnice White and a part of the Sons of Calydon gang!”

—

Burnice White

“So warm~”

Origin: Zenless Zone Zero

—

“Nice to meet you, Miss White… I’m Misfortune,” Misfortune introduced shyly.

“Oh, dang. What an unfortunate name you have!” Burnice chuckled. “What about you, old man?”

Blazkowicz was quiet.

“Eh, that doesn’t matter,” Burnice said.

“What’s that behind you?” She pointed at the object on her back.

“Ooooh~ interesting! I’m glad you told me about it,” Burnice laughed.

She whipped out her flamethrower, causing the war veteran to ram toward her and stop her from using it.

“Bastard. What are you? A Nazi?” He growled.

She was squirming for once at the unexpected counter.

“Wh–what the hell are you?! I was showcasing my skill!” Burnice pouted.

“Are. You. A. Nazi?”

“What the hell is a ‘Nazi’?!” Burnice said. “Is that a secret group made by Lucy, Lucifer, or something. I don’t remember. He’s forgotten after the 1.2 update.”

He stared at her. Unconvinced.

“Okay, fine! I’m leaving!” Burince pouted. “You’re no fun, gramps!”

She left.

“Uh… yikes…” Misfortune said.

Meanwhile, Burnice was heading somewhere until she bumped into a new guy.

“Mmph mmph?!”

“Ow, what the heck?”

“Mmph mmph?” The masked figure glanced closer at her.

He pointed at her flamethrowers.

“Ooooh~ you wanted to know what my beautiful gadget does? Here!”

She spewed out the fire from her flamethrowers. The masked man clapped in excitement.

“You like it, huh? Let’s see what you got!” Burnice requested.

He gave her a thumbs-up and whipped out his homemade flamethrower.

“Whoa… this is…” Burnice gasped. “You love… burning stuff too?!”

The masked man nodded.

“Wow, what a luck to run into another person who shares the same interest!” Burnice giggled.

“HEY, WATCH OUT!”

A person was sent flying and was about to land on the duo. The mercenary airblasted the figure away and was sent flying in the opposite direction instead.

“Mmph!”

—

Pyro

“Mmph, mmph, mmph!”

Origin: Team Fortress 2

—

“Aaaay, Pyro!”

They noticed the drunken Scottish man with an eyepatch walking toward them.

“Aaaay, how are ya doing, lad? Who’s this, eh?” The man burped.

“Mmmph mmph! Mmmph mmph mmph mmph!” Pyro clapped as he introduced Burnice to him.

“Ay, Demoman!” Demoman yelled his name.

—

Demoman

“Ough, that hit the spot.”

Origin: Team Fortress 2

—

“Ya made a new friend, eh?” Demoman burped again.

“Wow, he’s a fun one to hang out with,” Burnice admitted.

“Mhm!” Pyro snickered.

“Whoa… is that… NO WAY, BRO, YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!”

A short, blue-haired girl dragged a silver-haired man toward the group. Burnice immediately recognized the siblings.

“Oh my, it’s the Proxies!” Burnice gasped.

“Oh, hell nah, we’re getting out of here, Belle,” The brother said.

“What are you on, Wise? She trusted us!” Belle pouted.

—

Belle

“Wow! That rat Thiren girl sure has that rizz, I love her~”

Origin: Zenless Zone Zero

—

Wise

“I don’t understand real girls, let alone the virtual ones… I’d better leave this to you, sis.”

Origin: Zenless Zone Zero

(Picking up the quote is hard when there isn’t any iconic line in their wiki.)

—

“Ay, what the hell is ‘Proxies’?” Demoman asked.

“A proxy is—”

Wise immediately shut the biker’s mouth.

“Mmph?”

“We can’t tell if they’re an N.E.P.S. undercover,” Wise whispered.

“Please. Do they look blue?” Burnice said.

He looked at the mercenaries again. Belle was fiddling around with Pyro’s flamethrower, and Demoman got wasted by drinking more liquor.

“Dang, I guess you were right. I don’t know what happened here,” Wise said. “We were watching our store, and… yeah, we’re here now.”

“Mhm, was having fun partying and then I woke up here. I bumped into someone scary earlier,” Burnice stated.

“And who was the scary person you mentioned?”

“Erm… that’s up for you to find out,” Burnice said.

A fallen angel has spawned.

“Erm… Michael? Was that you? Am I in heaven again?” The curious angel said.

She took out her notes.

“Well, this place looks interesting for research,” She said.

“Whoa, what the heck are you?”

It was a blond girl with goggles on her forehead and wearing a pink school uniform.

“A human?! In this very economy again?!” The angel gasped.

“Yeah? Hello? We’re all humans here!” The inventor scoffed.

“Oooh, you don’t know,” The angel snickered nervously. “Well, I’m Azazel, and I’m researching this weird location!”

“Fuck that weird location. Instead, you could do a full research of the stuff made by Genius Lady! I am Miu Iruma, and remember that!” Miu barked.

—

Azazel

“Oh my heavens! What would a living human be doing in hell? Most unusual.”

Origin: Helltaker

—

Miu Iruma

“When you’re Miu fuckin’ Iruma, you can get away with sayin’ all kinds of awful shit! Hoo-yeah! Cuz I fuckin’ rule!”

Origin: Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony

—

“Sure, what do you do?” Azazel interviewed the inventor.

“I invented a few machines,” Miu said.

Well, the interview was normal until Miu brought up a few of… interesting “stress relief” machines, causing Azazel’s face to heat up, but she kept writing.

“Yeah, keep writing that shit. Learn all the weird shit about me, arkarkark,” Miu cackled as if it was the most normal thing to bring up.

Later, a huge red bird appeared and blocked Miu’s sight from seeing Azazel.

“Oi, what the heck? Where did you come from?!” Miu was baffled.

“Hmph,” The red bird grunted. Azazel was in the background, researching the huge red bird.

“Your size doesn’t matter! You’re blocking my way from seeing that weird angel!” Miu groaned.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Azazel asked.

The bird whispered his name to her.

—

Terence

*growls*

Origin: Angry Birds

—

“Okay, that’s it! I’m plucking one feather and you’ll scream in no time!”

Miu was going to pinch, and the bird just disappeared.

“What?”

“HEY, ABOVE YOU!” Azazel screamed.

Miu looked above and dodged in time before Terence landed on her.

“WOW, okay, you fat-ass cock!” Miu sneered.

Terence only huffed.

“Whoa, Miss Iruma… You were almost… Miu Sandwich’d,” Azazel claimed.

“How about I fuckin’ sandwich your head with my thighs?!” Miu barked.

“EEK—Wha—What?! I wouldn’t let you do such—”

She froze.

“...I wouldn’t mind that actually,” Azazel replied, freaking the inventor out a little.

“EEK—”

Terence could only grunt in disapproval.

A white glowing light… wait, why do we need that when everyone in the area is white? Whatever. The light grew bigger until a man with a brown suit and a red necktie dropped to the ground.

Ecce homo

Qui est faba!

The man woke up as the light disappeared.

“Huh?”

“Hey! Who are you, boy?!” An old lady with a blue uniform approached him.

“Bean. Mr. Bean,” Bean introduced himself.

—

Mr. Bean

“Teddy!”

Origin: Mr. Bean

—

“M’kay! Well, you were so nice, I might as well reveal my name!” Oldbag grinned.

—

Wendy Oldbag

“Edgey-poo!”

Origin: Ace Attorney

—

“I HADN’T SAID ANYTHING!” Oldbag growled.

Mr. Bean was confused, then Oldbag just went into sobbing mode.

“NOOOOOO, HOW DO I REUNITE WITH EDGEY-POO! SAVE US FROM THIS HELL!” Oldbag screamed.

“Hey!”

There’s now a new person, and it was a horsegirl wearing a red uniform.

“Who are you, furry?” Oldbag asked aggressively.

“Oi, oi, what’s with that mood change, bruh?” The horsegirl pouted. “I’m Goldship, or you can call me Golshi.”

—

Goldship

“So long as it’s fun, right? Right?!”

Origin: Uma Musume Pretty Derby

—

“Are you a horse or something?” Oldbag asked.

“Yes!” Golshi said.

“Prove it,” Oldbag dared.

“HAY, HAY!”

A horsegirl dropkicked the old woman and knocked her unconscious. Mr. Bean was alerted to the sudden assault.

“Okay, that strong kick should prove the power of horses!” Golshi grinned in victory.

Oldbag is dead. Not really.

Mr. Bean attempted to resurrect the old lady by pushing the air into her mouth with his hands.

“You know who else needs air?” A zombie figure appeared, smirking deviously. “MY—”

“Your mom!” Golshi interrupted.

“Okay, not cool, dude,” The man groaned.

Mr. Bean was not doing good at reviving the old lady.

“Eh, I got some grilled cheese to finish,” Muscle Man shrugged.

He picked out the grilled cheese from his pocket.

—

Muscle Man

“You know who else got trapped in the white void?”

Origin: Regular Show

—

“Yeah, I didn’t say my name to reveal the title card,” Muscle Man shrugged.

He took a bite, and some of the flakes got into Golshi’s eyes.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Goldship was on the ground, crying in pain.

A boy with spiked hair, green clothes, and a fishing rod has spawned in the void.

“Uh, is this one of those Hunter’s exams again?” The boy scratched his head. “Better not see Hisoka… Probably.”

A purple cockroach approached the boy. The boy tilted his head as he noticed it.

The cockroach just stretched its lips with its tongue out to scare him since he was a child.

“What?” Gon was confused.

The cockroach huffed in disappointment.

“You expect me to be scared? Well, uh, sorry,” Gon shrugged. “You don’t look like any of those Chimera Ants’ soldiers.”

The cockroach tilted his head in confusion.

“Uh, forget it, haha! I’m Gon Freecss!” Gon introduced. “What about you?”

The cockroach threw some gibberish.

“Okay!”

—

Gon Freecss

“If you want to get to know someone, find out what makes them angry.”

Origin: Hunter X Hunter

—

Joey

*Gibberish*

Origin: Oggy & the Cockroaches

—

“So, uh, any idea what brought us here?” Gon asked.

Joey shrugged. Although he desperately wanted to return to his home.

Suddenly, a boy with a fucked-up looking mouth showed up and tried to eat Joey.

“AAAAH!”

“HEY!”

Gon snatched Joey out of the boy’s grip.

“WHY?!”

“You’re going to eat him! What do you mean by why?!” Gon growled.

“I’M ONLY THREE!” The boy defended himself. “YOU’RE THREE TOO!”

“I’m literally twelve, but whatever,” Gon said. “Doesn’t excuse you from eating this guy.”

Joey mocked the kid.

“WAAA!”

“There you are!” A female voice called the kid.

She was a dark skinned woman wearing a tan jacket. She was here for Manny.

“Sorry. I tried to keep his behavior to a minimum. I found him alone and had to take care of him,” The woman sighed.

“Is he… your son?” Gon asked.

“I literally just said that I found him alone,” The woman stated.

“Oh, sorry, ahaha!” Gon chuckled at his mistake.

He still had Joey in his hand, and he let go of him.

“Sorry about that,” Gon apologized.

Joey gave him a thumbs-up.

“Uh, what’s your name?” Gon asked the lady.

“OH! My mistake. I’m Alyx, and this is Manny,” Alyx introduced her and Manny.

—

Manny Heffley

“I’M ONLY THREE!”

Origin: Diary of a Wimpy Kid

—

Alyx Vance

“Dad - prepare for unforeseen consequences.”

Origin: Half-Life

—

“Does that cockroach talk?” Alyx asked.

“Yeah, I can talk,” Joey spoke up for the first time.

BFDI_gasp.mp3

Joey was silent and shot up some gibberish again.

“Never mind,” Alyx sighed.

Two penguins have spawned.

“Erm, what the heck?” The leader squawked.

“What happened here, Skipper?” The taller penguin asked.

“Kowalski, analysis!” Skipper ordered.

“We’re stuck in a white void with no way out,” Kowalski stated his result.

“‘Kay.”

—

Skipper

“Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.”

Origin: Penguins of Madagascar

—

Kowalski

“You don’t have a family, and we are all going to die, sorry.”

Origin: Penguins of Madagascar

—

Another penguin approached them.

“Noot, noot?”

“Oh, a new one! Although he looked quite different,” Kowalski analyzed him.

“Noot?”

“Noot. Noot.” Kowalski replied.

“Noot?”

“I have acquired his name, and he is Pingu,” Kowalski stated.

—

Pingu

“Noot noot!”

Origin: Pingu

—

“Cool. Let’s recruit him,” Skipper claimed.

“Whoa, am I in Antarctica?”

There’s a teen with a green cap and a yellow shirt, who also has a prosthetic leg.

“Nope,” Skipper replied.

He sipped his orange soda. “Dawg, what a shame. It would’ve been cool to see Antarctica,” The guy sighed.

Freeze.

“Wait, did I just witness a penguin talk?” The guy was in shock.

Suddenly, the penguins kept their beak zipped.

“Oh, well, must be my imagination. But I’m Zee,” Zee sipped his drink.

—

Zee

“I’ve never been this high before!”

Origin: Total Drama Reboot

—

Zee walked away and bumped into something bigger.

“Aw, not cool, man… my drink…” Zee sighed as he got up.

The big creature turned around, and his face was kinda fucked-up. He was wearing a SWAT uniform and looked like a zombie mutant.

“Staaaaars!”

“Oh, hey, big bear!” Zee said excitedly.

The mutant roared at him. He was amazed.

“Dudeee, that was a sick cosplay,” Zee replied.

And now the zombie is chokeholding the teenager.

“Hey, man, what the heck—”

He sees the tag name on the mutant’s chest spelling Nemesis.

“Ohh, Nemesis, that’s a sick name,” Zee complimented.

—

Nemesis

“Staaaaaaars…”

Origin: Resident Evil

—

Nemesis was about to kill Zee until a bald man with a grey outfit and a scarf appeared with a freezing ray.

He froze the mutant’s arm, causing him to release Zee.

“Aw, not my orange soda,” Zee sighed as he picked a new one from his pocket.

“Oh, we got a big bad villain right here!” The bald man smirked.

“Starrrrrs!”

The mutant shot out some weird rope toward the man’s leg to trip him.

“OUGH!”

He was getting pulled.

“Aw, crap,” The bald figure muttered.

Suddenly, a platypus.

“Arghaghaghahgahg.”

Nemesis was actually distracted, giving Gru enough time to flee and use his freeze ray against the mutant. Nemesis’ now frozen.

“Hah! Suck on that!” The man taunted.

“Dude, that was sick. Kinda shame I don’t get to see Nemesis in action for a while,” Zee sipped his drink.

“That’s a weird duck right there,” The bald man pointed.

“Arghaghaghahgh.”

“What are you?”

The platypus stood up and put on his fedora.

“PERRY THE PLATYPUS!” Gru screamed.

—

Agent P

“Arghaghaghaghahgahgahgah.”

Origin: Phineas & Ferb

—

Felonious Gru

“We are… Going to steal… THE MOON!!!”

Origin: Despicable Me

A green frog muppet was walking.

“Erm, hello? Anybody here?” The puppet yelled.

A blond man appeared.

“Whoa, is that Kermit?!” The man gasped.

“Why, yes. I am indeed Kermit the Frog,” Kermit stated.

—

Kermit

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending.”

Origin: The Muppets

—

“Pleasure to meet ya, Kermit! I’m Brody Foxx!” Brody introduced.

—

Brody Foxx

“Yo Mama so FAT!”

Origin: Yo Mama

—

“Ever heard of Yo Mama jokes?” Brody smirked.

“No? I’m afraid not,” Kermit admitted.

“Yo mama so fat, she could—”

“Is this the restroom?”

They turned around to see a purple-haired woman with a sword on her hips.

“I do want to apologize, but I seem to be lost,” The woman claimed.

They looked around the void.

“I mean, what do you think? We’re lost,” Kermit murmured.

“I’m Acheron.”

—

Acheron

“All will eventually fall upon the earth.”

Origin: Honkai: Star Rail

—

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”

“Oh, great. A Hollywood kind of guy,” Brody huffed.

“Buddy, I’m not Holly-whatever thing, I have no idea what that is,” The gambler retorted.

“Yeah, he seems like a Hollywood character,” Kermit followed.

“HEY! I’m not!” He sighed.

The man had blond hair and wore a fancy outfit. He started at Acheron.

“Aventurine… Snooping as usual, I see…” Acheron sighed.

—

Aventurine

“Doctor, you’re huge!”

Origin: Honkai: Star Rail

—

“Up to harass this place for taxes again, or what?” Acheron accused.

“Noooo, nooo, not planning to do that. Besides, I got stuck here just like the rest of you! Almost thought it was Acheron’s work,” Aventurine smirked.

“Acheron? What does that lady do?” Kermit asked.

“Glad you asked, Frogman! She’s a—”

“No.”

“Man, where’s the fun? I’m risking for entertainment,” Aventurine smirked.

Suddenly, the man folded the gambler like it was another Tuesday. Aventurine was knocked out cold. All of them were blinking in shock and confusion.

“Are you fine?” The man asked her.

“Yes?” Acheron replied.

The man looked at Aventurine again.

“Man, you suck at this.” He looked at Acheron, and his eyes turned into a heart. “And—WHOOOOA, a hot Mokkori samurai lady?!”

Acheron was stunned. “Uh, do I know you?”

He scooted closer to her and shoved his business card into her chest, revealing Ryo Saeba, some kind of city sweeper.

—

Ryo Saeba

“I’m the man who makes the impossible possible.”

Origin: City Hunter

—

“Hey, when we get out of here. I will invite you to dinner,” Ryo offered gently.

Acheron was blushing. “We just met…”

“Man, this was some kinda forced romance right here,” Brody snickered.

Ryo pushed Brody and Kermit out of their way before going back to woo Acheron.

A coffee girl was baffled at the sudden teleportation to the white void.

“What's wrong with this )$&! world?” The woman growled. “Can I just do whatever in peace without this $*!.?”

“Oh, finally! A new person! I thought I had gone insane,” A blond-haired store clerk sighed in relief.

“I thought the same thing,” The girl sighed.

“Anyway, um, do you have any idea what happened here? You kinda look like… You were from another dimension,” He assumed.

“Yeah, I could say the )%&#&%( same thing about you,” The girl growled.

“Man, what’s with that tone of yours?!” The guy remarked.

“It’s how I speak, %(#&!” She replied. “You got a name or what?”

“Shin Asakura.”

“Okay. Julie Powers.”

—

Julie Powers

“So, what can I !*$# get you?”

Origin: Scott Pilgrim

—

Shin Asakura

“If you don’t know Mr. Sakamoto, then you’re an amateur.”

Origin: Sakamoto Days

—

“Look, here, boy. I’m kinda fed up with everything I’ve been through, and now I’m trapped in this $*)@)$*@.” Julie huffed.

“Eh, same, I guess,” Shin shrugged.

A businessman randomly bashed into Julie and tripped her.

“What the—”

“Wah… HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING, ((%#@(!” Julie growled.

“Ain’t my fault, bruh!” The salaryman defended himself.

“You’re lying, %)#&@.” Julie scoffed.

Shin read the guy’s mind, and all he could get was finding a new girl to shoulder tackle them.

Dude, what’s up with this guy? Shin thought.

He read the man’s mind again and got his name. Takeyuki Kiuchi.

—

Takeyuki Kiuchi

“The whole subway’s mine for the slammin’!”

Origin: Persona 5 The Phantom X

—

Kiuchi left.

“Hey, are you gonna do something about that freak?” Julie hissed.

“Er, I was zoned out, haha,” Shin chuckled awkwardly.

Kiuchi was exploring the white void alone until he noticed a blue-haired girl with two long twin braids.

“Finally!” Kiuchi rubbed his hand intensely.

He bumped into a giant chicken instead.

“Looky here, son! I say, get your feet up here, and what were you planning on ambushing the innocent gal over there, pal?” The chicken accused him.

“I didn’t do anything. That was your fault,” Kiuchi sneered.

“My fault? Okay, son. I say, you were trying to defend yourself from that pathetic action of yours,” The chicken remarked.

The businessman was about to retort until…

“The hell is going on here?”

A county sheriff showed up.

“Oh, an officer! Sir, I say, this man has attacked a random civilian with no motive. I say that man must be apprehended and locked up in the crib, boy!” The chicken commented.

“Really?” The sheriff looked toward Kiuchi.

“Ask that librarian lady over there, pal!” The chicken pointed at Julie.

“I AM NOT A LIBRARIAN!” Julie screamed.

“You should know it—”

“Yeah, hold on, buddy. I ain’t dealing without any legit evidence,” The sheriff stopped them.

“You saw it right through! Just ask Julian!” The chicken remarked.

“JULIE!” Julie corrected him.

“I think they forgot about me,” Shin said quietly.

“HAHA, SUCK ON YOU! THEY DON’T CARE, AHAHAHAHAHA!”

Kiuchi taunted as he left to bash a blue-haired woman, and then ran away after the said woman pulled her minigun out and shot him.

“Now look what we have here!” The sheriff called the lady out.

“Boy, look over here and pay attention to my beak, boy. I say, what kind of law enforcement is this to let go of a criminal when the proof was right there, boy!” The chicken yelled.

“Lemme tell you something, man—” The sheriff butted in. “We’re in the apocalyptic world right now, and law has been way long forgotten.”

“What apocalyptic world, son? Are you trippin’? I say, I say, you’re standing with me trapped in the weird white building,” The chicken replied.

Shin and Julie were watching those two arguing as the blue-haired woman was still chasing after Kiuchi with her minigun.

“Do we do something about them?” Shin asked.

“No,” Julie scoffed.

The two who were busy arguing revealed their names in the middle of the fight anyway.

—

Shane Walsh

“I’m a better father than you, Rick!”

Origin: The Walking Dead

—

Foghorn Leghorn

“I say, I say, I say…”

Origin: Looney Tunes

—

Kiuchi was still running until he hit a certain snakeskin jacket man with an eye patch.

“Haw? What the heck are ya doin’?” The man asked.

“What are YOU doing here?” Kiuchi shot back.

“Ya dare to talk back to me, huh?” The man replied.

“Bro, you ain’t the real deal—whatcha gonna do—”

He saw the Tojo clan pin and realized who he was.

“Yeah? Cat’s got yer tongue?” The man smirked.

“Goro Majima…”

—

Goro Majima

“No matter who I am or where I come from, if I just stand by and watch, how can I call myself a man?”

Origin: Yakuza

—

“Yeah? What’s up, pal? Yer talking to me right now!” Majima grinned. “Man, what the heck. I was supposed to be in Hawaii to host a Total Drama or something.”

“HEY, GET BACK HERE!” A woman's voice called out.

“Shit,” Kiuchi said.

He ran past him, then a blue-haired girl appeared.

“Heeeey, big guyyy~ have you seen a man wearing like a gentleman around?” The girl asked him.

“Yeah, over there,” Majima snitched the man.

“‘Kay, thanks! Nothing will escape Jinx, arkarkark!” Jinx laughed.

—

Jinx

“Vi used to say I could fix anything.”

Origin: Arcane

A yellow creature with an orange hoodie has spawned.

“Um, what the heck?” The man was confused. “Is this one of those assignments?”

He noticed a man wearing a blue suit, smoking in the middle of the void.

“Hey, uh, you smoking?” He asked the man.

“Mhm,” The man answered.

“That’s… do you need help or something?”

“Nope… Also, what kind of creature are you? I’ve never seen one like this,” The smoker responded.

“Well, uh, I’m Charlie Dompler. From Smiling Friends.”

—

Charlie Dompler

“Cool.”

Origin: Smiling Friends

—

“Cool.”

“Hey, that was my quote—” Charlie was cut off.

“I know that. Spike Spiegel.”

—

Spike Spiegel

“Whatever happens, happens.”

Origin: Cowboy Bebop

—

A lime male squirrel appeared, and his body was covered in candies. Hyper giggling at the guests and walking weirdly.

“Holy fuck, what the hell’s up with you?” Spike remarked. “Is this a squirrel?”

The squirrel could only laugh crazily.

“I think this man’s a lost cause,” Charlie retorts. “We might have to put him out of misery to make him smile.”

He looked at Spike.

“Uh, you got anything?”

“Hell nah. My gun was stolen earlier by some blue vested guy,” Spike sighed.

“Oh, uh, that’s definitely not a happy moment, lemme try to help,” Charlie replied.

“How? Finding the culprit?” Spike deadpanned.

“Yeah?” Charlie claimed. “That’s what we gotta do. Find the man, restore your… uh… toy, and you’ll smile again. That’s what Smiling Friends are for.”

“I thought we were going to shoot the rabid squirrel?” Spike raised his eyebrow.

“Nut, nut, nut, nutty. Ahahahaha!” Nutty cackled.

—

Nutty

Does this guy even have a quote?

Origin: Happy Tree Friends

—

The blue-vested guy was running with his bag.

“I just stole these weird blue bits, a weird tech that shoots things, a badge, a liquor bottle, glasses, goggles, and more… who can I steal from next?” The man thought.

He saw a shirtless spiky spiky-haired man.

“Hmm, that glove looks fancy… Let’s swipe ‘em!” The man grinned.

He approached his next victim, and the victim had already turned his back to see the thief.

“What are you doing?”

“Ohhh, fancy gloves you got there, bud. Can I borrow ‘em?” The man requested.

“No.”

“Man, I guess we gotta do it the hard way!”

He tilted his head in confusion.

“LOOK! THERE’S A PEGASUS IN THE ‘SKY!’” The thief yelled.

“Nani?”

He looked up before realizing he was baited. And his gloves were missing.

“That’s Flynn Rider for you, Jin Kazama, hahahah!” Flynn taunted him.

“How the hell did he know my name?” Jin was baffled.

—

Flynn Rider

“This is a story of how I died. Don’t worry, this is actually a very fun story, and the truth is, it isn’t even mine. This is the story of a girl named Rapunzel.”

Origin: Tangled

—

Jin Kazama

“Power is everything.”

Origin: Tekken

—

“I need my gloves back, you thief,” Jin growled.

“NO! This belongs to me… uh, yeah, I ‘borrowed’ it after asking it nicely, didn’t I?” Flynn grinned.

Flynn stepped on a mine turtle.

“Oh shit—”

BOOM!

He was blasted away, and the turtle remained alive. For a plot reason, guys.

Jin’s gloves landed in front of him, and he picked ‘em up.

“Hello!” The turtle murmured.

Jin blinked.

—

Mine Turtle

“Hello!”

Origin: asdfmovie

—

As the turtle walked away to find more clueless victims, Jin had wondered something after glancing at the white void.

“I feel like I’ve been here before… maybe twice,” Jin claimed.

A high schooler with his recorder was confused.

“Dude, what the heck is wrong with this place? Was it a work from Dr. Strange?” The vlogger assumed. “Man, whatever. This place looked sick as hell. Almost like you were in the afterlife.”

He adjusted his recording.

“What’s up, guys. It’s Flash Thompson again! I’m gonna record this then post it for everyone to see what I was doing in the afterlife!” Flash announced.

—

Flash Thompson

“What’s up dickwad? I thought you drowned.”

Origin: MCU Spider-Man

—

He sees a dog.

“Oi, what a cute dog!”

The dog was looking confused when he saw a man and screamed.

“Whoa, chill, dude! I was only here to vlog!” Flash defended himself.

“Reah?” The dog replied.

“WAAAAAIT. Did that dog just freakin’ talk?! Holy shit, this is worthy of a video!” Flash gasped. “What are you doing here, dog?”

“Erm, reah, I’m stuck rere…” Scooby claimed.

“Same, dude…” Flash grunted. “Hell, with you around. I guess I have a dog company! Bonus point being a talking dog!”

He looked at the dog. “You got a name or something?”

“Scooby-Dooby-Doo!”

—

Scooby-Doo

“Scooby-Dooby-Doo!”

Origin: Scooby-Doo

—

“HOLY SHIT, A REAL SCOOBY-DOO?! Why did I not think of that earlier?” Flash gasped.

“Yo! Am I trippin’ or did that dog just frickin’ talk?” A man wearing a beanie showed up.

“Yes, he did! Look!” Flash pointed out.

“Reah, I can talk,” Scooby chuckled.

“Dudeeeee, I thought I was tripping, yo!” The man groaned. “Including being trapped in this white padded room!”

“This doesn’t look like a padded room…” Flash replied.

“Yeah, Jesse Pinkman, bitch!”

—

Jesse Pinkman

“Yeah, science!”

Origin: Breaking Bad

—

“What the heck is going on here?”

Suddenly, a giant door showed up.

“Is that a part of rour vlog?” Scooby asked.

“I wish,” Flash replied.

The door was burst open by a kick, revealing an emperor in a red dress.

“BOOM, BABY!”

“WHOA, NO WAY! IT’S KUZCO!” Flash screamed.

—

Kuzco

“BOOM, Baby!”

Origin: Emperor’s New Groove

—

“My dear citizens! It’s time for…”

Kuzco looked around.

“This isn’t my palace! Where am I?!” Kuzco began to panic.

He saw the two guys and a dog.

“Ahem. You did NOT see anything there, peasants,” Kuzco faked a cough.

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Flash shrugged. “Man, I’m seeing Scooby-Doo and Kuzco in one place… This is a dream, ain’t it?”

“What dream? I am the real Kuzco—”

And now a white-haired man in a blue coat and his signature sword appeared.

“WHOA, IT’S VERGIL—”

“No. I’m ‘Sephiroth.’”

—

‘Sephiroth’

“There is only despair.”

Origin: ‘Final Fantasy’

—

“Hmm, this is…” ‘Sephiroth’ claimed as he looked around the void.

A loudspeaker rang and alerted everyone in the void.

“Hey, hey, testing! Hello, dear contestants!”

“Dear ‘contestants’?” Acheron furrowed her brows.

“Some of you might be confused as to why 56 of you were brought here! Gather around the area with a giant arrow pointing downward. That’s where you need to go!”

Some of them were skeptical, but they had no choice.

Everyone gathered at the circle.

“God damn, that’s a whole collection of… unique people,” Belle was amused.

“Indeed, younglings!” Oldbag replied.

“HOLY FUCK, THAT’S A BIG ZOMBIE!” Nick shouted at Nemesis.

“Staaaaaaaaaaaars,” Nemesis growled.

“How did he unfreeze himself?” Skipper added.

“Probably we left them exposed in the heat and melted everything away,” Kowalski claimed.

“Yo Mama so ugly, she—”

Brody was suddenly sent flying by Nemesis’s tentacle before he could crack a joke.

“CHANGEAS!” Finn shouted.

A random pebble and Brody had swapped their places. Brody is now back in the gathering area.

“Damn, that was impressive!” Sonoko gasped. “You are really a magician, just like Kaito Kid!”

“Third guy you were drooling for now,” Kindaichi snickered.

“HEY!” Sonoko pouted.

The chicken and the sheriff were still after each other’s throats.

“WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE %&#( UP FOR ONCE?!” Julie screamed.

Foghorn and Shane stopped arguing.

“Alright, whoever are you creeps hiding around this place. Show up!” Miu barked.

“Geez, no need to be so rude, you pig barf!” Manny remarked.

“EEEK? A three-year-old insulting a gorgeous genius like this?!” Miu shrieked.

“Manny…” Alyx sighed.

“I’m only three!” Manny barked. “Besides, you’re NOT my mom!”

“Ouch, that hurts,” Jinx added.

“Are you really his mother?” Reigen asked.

“Nah, he’s just a kid who was lost, and I took care of him until we got out,” Alyx replied.

“Damn, lucky. It would’ve been absolute torture if you were his mom,” Kermit added.

“Why is everyone so rude to him?” Misfortune asked.

Blazkowicz shrugged.

“OKAY! YOU’RE ALL HERE! LET’S SHOW OURSELVES!”

A huge smoke bomb has been applied and covered everyone’s eyes.

“HEY, WARN US OR SOMETHING!” Muscle Man yelled.

The smoke faded and revealed a living fries and a black hedgehog.

“YO, THERE’S SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!” Flash said excitedly.

“Ain’t the best time to talk, hun. Shut up,” Shadow replied.

“Yeah, that sounds like the Fandub Shadow,” Belle claimed.

“Yup, you got it right, lady!” Fandub Shadow grinned.

Everyone went ‘OOOOH!’ then looked at Fries.

“Who the fuck is that, yo?” Jesse asked.

“I’M YOUR HOST??? HELLO???” Fries replied.

“Host? Of what? A game show?” Spike assumed.

“YES! YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!”

“Damn, a lucky guess,” Charlie admitted.

“Okay, let’s show our title card!”

—

Fries

“Get digging!”

Origin: Battle for Dream Island

—

Fandub Shadow the Hedgehog

“YOU INTERRUPTED MY BROODING!”

Origin: Snapcube Sonic Real Time Fandub

—

“What the hell is that quote?” Nick remarked.

“Best quote ever than your Mom’s car,” Shadow replied.

Ellis was holding his laugh as Nick was about to pop his veins.

“Hey, this isn’t fun! Where are all the ladies? I can only see a few of them!” Ryo grunted.

“Really? That’s your biggest concern?” Baby Saja deadpanned.

“You’re a grown man wearing a pacifier, that’s $*%)&#& weirder,” Julie scoffed. “And who named yourself a Baby Saja?”

“OOOOH!” Muscle Man, Belle, Majima, Jinx, and Golshi cooed.

“HEY, WHAT DID MY BABY GIRL DO?!” Sonoko whined.

“GUYS, GUYS! SHUT UP—” Shadow was cut off.

“Shut the fuck up, you porcelain,” Miu butted in.

“I peacocked your mom,” Fandub Shadow replied.

“WHAT?!” Miu shouted.

Smosh’s SHUT UP! Audio was played, causing everyone to shut up.

“Okay, we have calmed down. Let’s bring the real reason why you were here!” Fries said.

“And yeah, you’ll be playing and attending our game show!” Shadow added.

“A game show? You’re forcing us to play the killing game again?!” Kai shrieked.

“Wait. You too?” Miu asked.

“NO! Okay, maybe… but you don’t need to do that!” Fries muttered.

“Are you sure this isn’t one of these soulless reboots and you had our memory erased?” Jin accused. “I was certain that I had played this game twice, and I was eliminated first on the second one because of viewer voting—”

“YUP, the reboot did not happen twice. I dunno what you were talking about.” Fandub Shadow stated.

“Whatever.”

“We’re not playing your stupid game! We were never invited or applied in the first place!” Oldbag said.

“Yeah, what that old lady said,” Charlie backed her up.

“I thought we handed you the invite!” Fries was baffled.

All of them shook their heads.

“Actually, I do remember getting one, but I can’t even read shit,” Kindaichi shrugged. “It mentioned the game show, though.”

“Yeah, I think we did?” Wise said. “We threw it away because it looked sketchy.”

“Mhm!” Burnice said. “But at least I got a new stuff to burn with!”

Fries stared at Shadow.

“Hey, I actually gave them the letter, and they refused to join!” Shadow barked. “Like, I worked so hard on this crap!”

“MAYBE BECAUSE YOU WROTE THEM VERY ILLEGIBLY AND SUSPICIOUS, NO WONDER OUR GUYS BURNT THOSE LETTERS!” Fries screamed.

He calmed himself.

“Okay, pardon that. Well, all of you were aware of the letter you discarded a long time ago… so uh, you’re here for that reason now,” Fries shrugged.

“If we’re playing a game, what kind of prize do we get?” Zee raised his arms. “Million dollars again?”

“Nah, rather something cooler than wealth!” Fries grinned. “It’s a secret, though.”

“Oh, that sounds cool. I’m willing to risk myself for this secret prize of yours,” Aventurine smirked. “Bring it on, Fries!”

“Thank you for the compliment, twink,” Shadow nodded.

“TWINK!?”

“World’s biggest lie ever,” Shane scoffed. “You can’t be seriously falling for this bullshit!”

“Yeah, what that %)#*%*# man said,” Julie added.

“How the hell do you get your word censored like that, pal?” Demoman asked.

“Dunno. It just happened like that,” Julie shrugged.

“Well, since there are 56 of you… I’m sure you’ll be excited to play, right?” Fries grinned.

“Nah,” Spike replied.

Suddenly, a giant laser cannon pointed at the bounty hunter.

“Okay, fine, I’ll play,” He rolled his eyes.

“Good boy!” Shadow nodded. “We’re starting with two teams, so twenty-eight people in each team!”

“Do we pick them or something?” Majima asked.

“Nope. We will make one for you,” Shadow claimed.

“Wouldn’t this be complicated to keep track of?” Wise interrupted.

“What do you mean, human?” Azazel muttered.

“Honestly, man. It’s two teams of TWENTY EIGHT people. It’s gotta be hard to keep track of who was on which team,” Wise claimed.

This earned a lot of nods.

“Well, it’s an easy solution!” Fries said. “Ok, it’s done.”

Silence.

“Are you gonna turn this into a free-for-all?” Aventurine assumed.

Burnice: “I dunno… sounds fun, though.”

Jin: “I mean, how do you—wait, what the fuck?”

“HUH!?” Finn shouted.

“Yeppers! One team is stuck on script format, and the other one is on prose format, so the readers can differentiate which person was on which team.” Fries grinned like he had just solved a world crisis.

“Say, ‘Get Digging!’ to see if you’re stuck with the script format or not,” Fries commanded.

“Get digging!” Finn, Aventurine, Baby Saja, Nutty, Sonoko, Kindaichi, Nick, Ellis, Miu, Kuzco, Scooby-Doo, Mine Turtle, Manny, Joey, Gon, Alyx, Zee, Mr. Bean, Spike, Charlie, Shin, Jinx, Gru, Burnice, and Oldbag replied in unison.

“Staaars,” Nemesis sneered.

“ARkarkarkakrarkarkakk,” Agent P replied.

Terence was grunting. “Hmph.”

Jesse, Azazel, Misfortune, Blazkowicz, Kiuchi, Shane, Skipper, Kowalski, Majima, Flash, Brody, Golshi, Reigen, Acheron, Ryo, Wise, Belle, ‘Sephiroth’, Muscle Man, Foghorn, Kermit, Kai, Pyro, Flynn, Julie, Demoman, & Jin: “Get digging!”

Pingu: “Noot noot!”

“There we go! Now we know who belongs to which team!” Fries huffed.

Belle: “Maaaan… script format team? This is awful! I can’t even express my expression with this format!”

Belle was sad.

Belle: “Never mind.”

“You guys can yap about being stuck with a certain figure you hate in the next episode. We’re ending the prologue RIGHT NOW!” Fries shouted.

Team Prose Format:

Finn Amos, Aventurine, Baby Saja, Nutty, Sonoko Suzuki, Hajime Kindaichi, Nick, Ellis, Miu Iruma, Kuzco, Scooby-Doo, Mine Turtle, Nemesis, Manny Heffley, Joey, Gon Freecss, Alyx Vance, Zee, Mr. Bean, Spike Spiegel, Charlie Dompler, Shin Asakura, Agent P, Jinx, Felonious Gru, Burnice White, Wendy Oldbag, & Terence

Team Script Format:

Jesse Pinkman, Azazel, Little Misfortune, William B. J. Blazkowicz, Takeyuki Kiuchi, Shane Walsh, Skipper, Kowalski, Pingu, Goro Majima, Flash Thompson, Brody Foxx, Goldship, Arataka Reigen, Acheron, Ryo Saeba, Wise, Belle, ‘Sephiroth’, Muscle Man, Foghorn Leghorn, Kermit, Kai Monteago, Pyro, Flynn Rider, Julie Powers, Demoman, & Jin Kazama

Chapter Text

Jesse: “Yo, bitch! When are we getting a place to live?”

“You’re here right now, this is where you’ll live until you’re out!” Fries barked.

Majima: “He meant some shelters, dumbass.”

“Fuuuuck, right. Lemme get it on with that,” Fries sighed.

He clicked his fingers, and a lodge, which was enough to fit every member of the team inside. The male’s side was bigger compared to the female side.

“Why is the female side smaller?” Jinx asked.

“I mean, if you looked at the gender ratio… that’s 44 guys vs 12 girls,” Charlie stated.

Kai: “What about that ugly zombie creature over there?”

He pointed at Nemesis.

Muscle Man: “Hey, I feel offended, yo!”

Kai: “Wasn’t talking about you!”

Muscle Man: “I’m a zombie too, dude!”

Kai: “EEEK—”

“We have no idea if Nemesis eventually has a gender, but they’re joining the male side, I guess,” Shadow declared. “Maybe it’s because the narration depicted him as a male.”

“Staaaaaaaaaars,” Nemesis nodded.

Shane: “This feature is stupid as hell…”

Foghorn: “What’s, I say, so stupid, pal?”

“Yeah, he’s probably not happy about having a script format,” Shin rubbed his head after reading the sheriff’s mind.

“Like, why, though? At least they can read your text easily,” Zee sipped his drink.

Foghorn: “Oh, boy, you’ll get used to it, boy. Ain’t a huge problem with our sentence being readable!”

Golshi: *Insert a sentence with the most illegible typing quirks ever*

Shane: “Oh, fuck you, horse girl.”

Pyro: “Mmmph mmph mmph!”

“Man, we can’t go on a full minute without someone yelling,” Spike sighed.

“Fuck them. Let them be,” Miu gawked.

Suddenly, she was pulled by Scooby-Doo. “What the frick do you want, dog?!”

Azazel: “You almost killed yourself from that mine turtle.”

“Hello!” Mine Turtle shouted.

“Okay, are we done? Get inside your cabin and enjoy your very short break before your very first grand challenge,” Fries commanded.

Everyone entered their respective lodge. The female side was peaceful compared to the male side, which was pretty crowded.

“Jesus Christ, are we holding a party here?!” Nick groaned.

“Hell, yeah! We need some booze!” Ellis screamed.

“NO, WE’RE NOT HAVING A PARTY! I’M BEING SUFFOCATED TO DEATH!” Finn complained.

“Aeons… It’s overloaded with everyone,” Aventurine said.

“Yeah, you think so?” Baby huffed.

“Alright, settle down, kids!” Gru barked. “We need to make room for everyone!”

“WHO LET THE RABID ANIMAL ROAM FREE?!” Kuzco screamed. “UNACCEPTABLE FOR MY KINGDOM!”

It was Nutty.

“That ain’t a rabid animal, just a full-spirited squirrel!” Gon quipped.

And Nutty just went crazy over candies.

“Never mind,” Gon retorted.

“Whoa, is a chicken always that HUGE?” Kindaichi mentioned Terence.

“Hmph,” The red bird grunted.

“Hey, uh, you’re cool and bulky at all, but we need to get there, and you’re blocking our way, dude,” Charlie proposed.

“Hmph,” Terence grunted again.

“I don’t think he’s moving,” Shin sighed.

Terence showed up behind the store clerk.

“AAAH!?” Shin screamed.

“Great, thanks, dude!” Charlie replied.

Meanwhile, on the other side.

“This place felt empty,” Burnice said.

“Yeah, it’s freakin’ good. No horny ass men lurking around!” Miu cackled. “I can enjoy doin—”

“No,” Alyx said.

“Eugh, have some freakin’ decency. We’re not here to hear you blabbin’ about your sexual frustration,” Jinx cringed.

“Or what? Jealous that you’re missing out on some beautiful, perky tits of a genius lady?” Miu taunted.

Jinx pulled out her minigun.

“EEEK! I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!” Miu went timidly.

“And you can’t say that in front of an old lady,” Alyx sighed.

“She literally thirsted over a certain prosecutor earlier,” Jinx hummed.

“Oooooooough, Edgy Boyyyyyy, I need you so bad!” Oldbag cried.

“Fuck, are there any girls inside who were normal?” Alyx asked.

“Nah, not me,” Jinx grinned.

Then, Burnice was burning something, and Alyx immediately pulled her away and extinguished the fire.

“Hmph, I was havin’ fun! It was gettin’ warm just now!” Burnice coughed.

“Man, that was flippin’ hot right here!” Sonoko grinned. “OH, OH, CAN YOU SHOW ME THE MINIGUN TOO?!”

“Okaaaay!”

“I’m locked up with five insane people,” Alyx sighed in disbelief.

And we get to the Script Format team’s cabin… and… yeah…

Foghorn: “I say, I say, boy! This cramped wooden lodge ain’t enough to fit twenty-two roosters inside! We’re liable to suffocate before the darn mornin’, boy!”

Shane: “God damn it, exactly! Which is why I’m saying we split this place down the middle. Half on one side, half on the other. Equal numbers. Organized. No one gets screwed over.”

Foghorn: “Hold yer horses there, Officer Friendly. You want to make the coop equal by sending some of the men inside the hens’ house?”

Shane: “Look. We do not want to get cramped with twenty people inside the room. Plus, that freakin’ alcohol stench.”

Demoman: “Eurgh? What? Ya talkin’ about me?”

Pyro: “Mmph mmph…”

Wise: “I felt like my wallet had been stolen.”

Flynn was whistling in the background as he was stealing his teammates’ belongings.

Shane: “Lemme tell you sumthin’. We’re trying to balance it out so each room has an equal number of people. Have you ever heard about the fairness?”

Foghorn: “Ya tellin’ me what now, pal? Boy, I say, boy, fairness is when you cut the pizza evenly, not when you toss some rooster in the opposite sex's house, and pray that nobody pricks their eyes out.”

Majima: “EEEEEEEEEYAGAMI—”

Everyone: “Shut up.”

Shane: “It’s about survival, you huge honker. It’s not about the damn roosters or henhouses. We can’t all breathe down each other’s necks in here. People are gonna snap.”

Foghorn: “Now what the heck ya were blabberin’ about, boy? I say, you don’t gotta worry about us snappin’, and we oughta learn to adapt it!”

Shane rubs his head.

Foghorn: “But if ya keep talkin’ about bunkin’ up next to the ladies, ya gonna wake up with a hard slap.”

He rubbed his head aggressively.

Shane: “Damn, pack of clowns. Whatever, just do what the hell you want.”

A few of the men chuckled as Shane retreated in disbelief.

Foghorn: “That’s ol’ Foghorn for ya, son! Gotta know when to keep y’all entertained, am I right, hun?”

Kiuchi: “I WANNA BUNK WITH THE LADIES SO I CAN ATTACK—”

BANG!

Brody: “Yo mama, that’s cringe as hell. Never say that again.”

Kiuchi: “Fuck you.”

Reigen: “Man, I’m loving the chaos already.”

Jin: “I don’t.”

Blazkowicz: “You’re scaring the guests from the other side.”

Pingu: “Noot noot.”

Kermit: “Yeah, Mr. Noot. What is it?”

Pingu: “Noot noot!”

Kowalski: “Yep, just as he suspected. The room is soundproofed so that the ladies couldn’t hear anything from outside.”

Skipper: “Thank you, Kowalski.”

Muscle Man: “You know who else needs to bunk? MY—”

Brody: “Yo Mama.”

The zombie man gave him a nasty glare.

Muscle Man: “Not cool, dude. Seriously.”

Jesse: “Yo, what the frick are you doing?”

Ryo: “Erm, I’m going for a walk.”

Reigen: “You mean sneakin’ inside the girls’ room?”

Ryo: “Naaaaaaaaah, I dunno what the heck do you mean.”

Flash: “Dude, the giant cock won’t like that!”

Majima: “Haw—”

Flash: “I meant Foghorn.”

Female side of the Script Format’s cabin.

Golshi: “Maaaaaaaaan, I’m boreeeeeeeeeed! Golshi needs a challenge to do!”

Suddenly, she felt a touch on her legs. She looked up, and it was Azazel.

Golshi: “Oi, what are you doing?”

Azazel: “I’m inspecting your legs! It’s so freakin’ strong for a human. It could break a barrel with a single kick.”

Golshi: “Mhm, Golshi’s a horse girl.”

Azazel: “A human and a horse combined into one thing? Wow, never thought that stuff would exist!”

Golshi: “You wanna interview Golshi, huh?”

The fallen angel nodded. The horse girl smirked and began to pose.

Belle: “So, uh, what’s your name?”

Misfortune: “Um… I’m… Misfortune.”

Belle: “Hi, Misfortune! I’m Belle!”

Julie: “Do we not question what kind of a %)#**@& parent named their child Misfortune of all things?”

Belle: “Hey! Not in front of a child!”

Julie: “It’s beeped, she won’t know. $)*@*$.”

Acheron: “Is this our room?”

Julie: “Yes.”

Acheron: “Sorry, I seem to have forgotten which one. I broke into the other team’s room earlier.”

Julie: “Wow, all of us dressed properly and then you just dressed like a damn hooker.”

Belle: “I dunno. I find ‘em hot.”

Acheron: “What’s a hooker?”

Something dropped in front of them. It was a rock smeared with red paint and googly eyes.

Belle: “Is this yours?”

Misfortune: “Oh, thanks.”

Acheron: “That’s not… blood, right?”

Misfortune: “I don’t know… but it’s my new toy after my daddy threw it at me.”

Silence.

Julie: “Jesus $)*@ that went dark quickly.”

RIIIIIIIIIING!

“Hey, contestants! Head outside! It’s time for the challenge!”

Everyone gathered outside.

“So, where’s the challenge? All I see is your stupid doodle face,” Manny yawned.

“You can’t be saying that!”

“I’M ONLY THREE!” Manny huffed.

“We don’t care,” Everyone said in unison.

“It’s time for your most exciting and iconic challenge ever!” Fries grinned.

“Hot sauce?” Baby asked.

“No.”

“Arson?” Burnice added.

“No.”

Blazkowicz: “Kill Nazis?”

“No.”

Majima: “Kidnap a child and invite your rival?”

“No.”

“Run from a ghost?” Scooby-Doo shivered.

“No.”

“Steal the moon!” Gru exclaimed.

“NO!”

“I was expectin’ one of y’all to guess it correctly, and that guy was standing here,” Shadow grumbled as he stared at Zee.

Jesse: “JUST TAKE US TO THE CHALLENGE!”

“Okay.”

He snapped his fingers.

Suddenly. 1000-foot drop cliff.

“Ohhhhh, the classic,” Zee laughed in excitement. “Though I never get a chance to cliff dive.”

Kai: “THAT’S THE CHALLENGE?!”

“Yup! That’s your first challenge! All you had to do was jump off and dive into the safe zone to score a point. The team with the least number of members who made it in the safe zone will vote two people out.”

“TWO?” Finn said. “Isn’t it usually one?!”

“We have a fat fuckin’ roster, of course, we’re throwing double elimination,” Fries deadpanned. “Ok, you know what. Since we just started. We’ll be nice, and you just get rid of one person.”

They would’ve cheered by now, but it was the challenge they’re facing.

“I’m pretty sure a long jump like this would kill a human,” Skipper claimed.

Blazkowicz: “A stupid way to die.”

“YEAH! Do you NOT see how long this is? It’s exactly one thousand feet tall!” Sonoko argued.

Flash: “I dunno about you losers. This shit sounds fun!”

“Also, if any of you somehow died during the cliff diving challenge. You’re eliminated,” Shadow explained.

“Total bull, buddy! That would… I dunno… Wipe half of the rosters!” Kindaichi scowled. “That’s definitely a murder.”

“More like a suicide pact,” Shadow shrugged. “You can literally back out of jumping.”

Kermit: “And we get a chicken hat, right?”

“You’ll be dressing as the Sprunki and have to do a dance video with that costume after you decided not to jump,” Fries ordered.

Silence.

Julie: “Yeah, %(#* that. I’m going to jump and get myself killed.”

Foghorn: “Alright, alright, boy. We’re jumping!”

“Why did it HAVE to be a cliff-diving of all things to steal,” Alyx sighed. “Or inspirations…”

“Yeah! Inspirations!” Fries grinned. “Also, you don’t have to build a hot tub after this.”

Suddenly, the crowd erupted in cheer.

“HAHA, suck on that evil hot tub! We don’t need to waste our energy on building you!” Gru taunted.

Demoman: “Yer gonna jinx us for that, lad.”

He burped. Charlie dusted some of the alcohol scent off his face.

“Please, don’t do that, dude,” Charlie coughed.

“Okay, Script Format goes first! Have fun!”

Fries and Shadow put on their chair and snacks to watch them.

Julie: “Alright, I’m not $)#*&%& doing a dance video, so I’m going first.”

She jumped off and landed in the safe ring.

Majima: “HELL YEA, THIS SHIT’S FUN!”

Muscle Man: “True, bro! Let’s dump ourselves in the water!”

He lifted his shirt and started spinning it, earning plenty of disgust from others.

The duo jumped off. Muscle Man did not land in the ring, and Majima landed.

Flash: “ALRIGHT, I’M NEXT!”

He tripped and fell off a cliff, causing him to land belly-first, cringing everyone. At least he made it in the ring.

Reigen: “Yikes, that’s no good.”

Misfortune: “Yikes forever…”

Blazkowicz: “I’ll be the next one to go.”

Ryo: “Blazkowicz, you’re in a wheelchair.”

Blazkowicz: “I know.”

Brody: “Yo Mama, that’s gonna get you killed!”

Pyro: “Mmph mmph!”

Foghorn: “I have a question, son!”

“We’re all ears,” Fries and Shadow said in unison.

Foghorn: “Are there any deadly jaws lurking in the water?”

“Oh, thanks for remindin’ us! We’re adding them right now,” Fries snapped his fingers.

Suddenly, more than a hundred sharks have been spawned and surrounded the ring.

“What the heck, dude? That’s cruel,” Ellis said.

Kai: “I don’t wanna jump anymore, dude!”

Shane: “Do you want to dress up as a Sprunki?”

Kai: “NO!”

Pingu: “Noot noot!”

Kai: “Fuck that. At least I can get more fanbase if I become a Sprunki!”

Ryo: “A child fanbase, to be exact.”

Kai: “SHUT UP! Costume!”

Fries threw him the costume to start the video.

“Finally, absolute cinema!” Shadow raised his arms. “Any quitters?”

Demoman: “Aye, make a move already, lads!”

He tripped and fell, causing him to miss the ring. Well, he did get a dopamine rush from avoiding the shark and made it back safely.

Pingu: “Noot noot!”

Skipper: “I believe in you, soldier! Do not disappoint us!”

Pingu: “Noot noot!”

He jumped and missed the ring… and then the shark had a feast.

—

ELIMINATED

PINGU (Shredded by Sharks)

—

And now everyone was horrified.

“HOW DARE THEY TO KILL ONE OF OUR KINDS?!” Skipper shouted in rage.

“Dude was so mad he spoke in prose format,” Charlie snickered.

Skipper: “Nah.”

Shane: “This is entirely bullshit. We’re not jumping and getting ourselves killed!”

“Just land in the ring,” Jinx yelled.

Shane: “You are not helping there, kiddo!”

Kowalski: “Hold on, I have a good solution for this shark crisis.”

He pulled out a toaster and threw it into the sea.

“A small toaster wouldn’t do wonder—”

Shin was cut off as the toaster electrocuted the water.

BZZT!

The shock has stopped. Every dead shark floated up to the surface.

“WHAT?!” Shin gasped.

Azazel: “Genius…”

Wise: “Ellen wouldn’t like that, man.”

Brody: “Who’s Ellen?”

Belle: “Ellen Joe.”

Brody: “JOE MAMA! AHAHAHAHAHA!”

Belle kicked the guy’s jewel, causing him to turn into a statue and fall off a cliff, landing outside the ring.

Belle: “Bitch.”

Skipper: “Before we move on. Let us mourn for the loss of Pingu…”

They all mourned.

Skipper: “Alright, let’s go!”

The penguin duo made their jump and entered the ring safely.

Golshi: “Golshi’s gonna have fun! Wee!”

The horse girl made it in the ring as well.

Misfortune: “Um… Mister… You can’t go…”

Blazkowicz: “It’s for the immunity.”

Jin: “You’re in a wheelchair. Maybe drop out for your safety.”

Blazkowicz: “I have been through worse when fighting Nazis, let me through.”

Foghorn: “Hold on there, big boy! A rooster with those feet can not risk their beautiful life over a thousand-foot drop cliff. Follow that spike’s advice and not to jump.”

Jin: “Spike?”

Shane: “Hmph, I hate to admit, but I gotta agree with this giant blabbermouth.”

Blazkowicz sighed and rolled toward the hosts. Misfortune followed him.

Reigen: “Kid. Are you not joining?”

Misfortune: “Um… I don’t want to hurt myself…”

Ryo: “She’s a kid. Let her go.”

Blazkowicz and Misfortune retreated from jumping and had to do a dance video.

Belle: “Okay, bro! I’m up next!”

Wise: “Belle?! Are you nuts?! It’s too dangerous!”

Belle: “C’mon, big bro! What’s the worst that could happen? We’ve gone through a lot of Hollows unprepared.”

Azazel: “OOOH, what’s Hollow? I need to know!”

Belle: “Well…”

Kiuchi: “BOO-YAH!”

He slammed the girls off the cliff and missed the ring.

Kiuchi: “HAHAHA! Operation’s success!”

Wise: “BELLE?!”

Jesse: “Yo, what the hell was that, bitch?!”

‘Sephiroth’: “Such unnecessary conflict.”

Kiuchi: “Ain’t my fault for this! The subway slammer will do whatever he wants!”

Kermit: “Okay, go bump that lady over there.”

He pointed at Acheron.

Acheron: “Uh… What?”

Foghorn: “What the hell, sonny? Are you letting him roam and assault women freely? Not on my darn cluckin’ watch!”

The giant chicken stopped him from getting near the Galaxy Ranger (probably).

Ryo: “Ay, ay, you don’t touch my Mokkori!”

Wise: “AND YOU HURT MY SISTER!”

Acheron: “Stop. I’ll handle it.”

Kiuchi: “Oh, we’re getting started now, ahahaha!”

Later, Kiuchi was thrown off a cliff by the same girl and landed in the ring.

Foghorn: “This flockin’ sucks, boy. Now that he landed in the ring safe and sound, now we can’t find any excuse to kick the bag outta the game!”

Acheron shrugged and began to jump, only for her to miss.

Shane: “God damn it…”

Ryo: “I gotta rescue her!”

He jumped into the ring safely, although she was on the outer side.

Reigen: “Okay. LET’S GO! LET’S GO!”

Reigen, Jesse, and Flynn jumped at the same time. Flynn did not make it, but the former two did.

Pyro: “Hudda hudda huh!”

The masked guy jumped and landed in the ring.

Foghorn: “Alright, Sheriff Sunshine. It’s your turn!”

Shane: “You go first.”

Foghorn: “Ha, I will be the last one to go. Gotta keep the roosters in check!”

Kermit and ‘Sephiroth’ jumped. Both of them entered their rings.

Jin: “I shall go.”

He entered the ring.

Foghorn: “How about you, Mr. Wise?”

Wise: “I will jump—nah.”

He backed out and went to do a Sprunki dance video.

Shane: “Dumbass… Your turn.”

Foghorn: “Hell naw, you are going first. I will be last.”

Shane: “Are you fuckin’ scared of water? Oh, wait. Chicken can’t swim!”

Foghorn: “Naaaah, I can definitely swim, pal. You can’t throw baseless accusations like that.”

Shane: “Then jump.”

Foghorn: “The Sheriff Sunshine goes first.”

Shane: “Shut your damn mouth and do it.”

Foghorn: “Alright, son, since you refused to obey, let’s do this in a mean way!”

He dragged the sheriff and tossed him. Safe to say it didn’t land in the ring.

Foghorn: “The problem’s solved, son! It’s time for Foghorn’s action. Cowabunga!”

He missed LMAOOOO.

Shane: “You absolute fuckin’ loudmouth dumbass.”

Foghorn: “I say, I say, we definitely did our attempt.”

Every Script Format team gathered at the shore.

“Okay, that’s twenty-four jumpers, ten of them missed, and four quitters. Not bad, guys! It’s the Prose team's turn. If they can get past fourteen, then they win instead,” Fries said.

“Who’s first? Not me,” Nick stated.

“Get your ass movin’, Nick,” Spike groaned.

“You first,” Nick huffed.

Spike shrugged and jumped off. Landing in the ring.

“Oh, that’s really cool, I’m coming!” Charlie cheered.

He also landed in the ring.

“Nick! This shit sounds fun!” Ellis smirked. “Give it a try.”

“Hell, NO! That’s freakin’ suicide right there,” Nick facepalmed.

“Weeeeell, so far, nobody has died!” Burnice joined.

“The penguin,” Gru sighed. “He died.”

The platypus made his move and landed in the ring.

“Huuu-hahaha!” Nutty laughed.

The squirrel walked off and somehow landed in the ring.

“Well, at least that crazy motherfucker made it in,” Manny said.

“Crazy WHAT?” Zee gasped as he dropped his soda.

“I ron’t think you rere supposed to say that,” Scooby-Doo bit his nails.

“Why? It’s a cool fuckin’ word!” Manny shot back.

“(Why is he suddenly thinkin’ of many ways to start a nuclear war? What kind of parents was he raised from?)” Shin read the child’s mind.

“Swearing does not make you cool, dumbass,” Jinx scoffed.

“I’m ONLY THREE!”

“How come we get a rebellious child already? That’s a huge shame for you!” Oldbag groaned.

And they just got into an argument. Sonoko had her phone out to record everything.

“Are you for real, recording the grown-up people beating up a three-year-old?” Kindaichi asked.

“Meh, he kinda deserved it,” Sonoko shrugged.

“Hey, big guy, can you stop them from fighting?” Gon asked Nemesis.

“Staaaars?”

“Please,” Gon begged.

Inhale.

“STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!” Nemesis roared.

“AGGGGH!”

“STOP!”

“OUUUUUGH!”

“EWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGH, SAVE ME EDGEY-POOOOOO!” Oldbag shrieked.

The roar was too loud; it spooked Oldbag to death.

Thud.

—

ELIMINATED

WENDY OLDBAG (Died of Heart Attack)

—

“Jesus fuck, you just killed that old lady,” Nick reacted.

“Yeah, what the hell, man?” Spike gritted his teeth.

“YOU OWE ME A NEW PAIR OF EARS!” Sonoko shouted.

“Okay, you’re one tough zombie; you should go first,” Jinx smirked.

Nemesis backed off and went to make a Sprunki video instead.

“Bitch can’t even swim,” Jinx sighed.

“Okaaaaaay,” Sonoko whispered. “Who’s next?”

“Oh, I’ll go!” Gon volunteered alongside Joey.

“A kid and a cockroach? Sure,” Nick shrugged.

The duo jumped off and missed the rings.

“Aw,” Mr. Bean said.

“(Reading all of my teammates’ minds was painful, but at least I knew who didn’t plan to jump, I gotta motivate them),” Shin thought.

He approached Finn.

“Hey, are you good?” Shin asked.

“No! I wouldn’t want to jump!” Finn shivered. “Did you see the risk?”

Ellis jumped and landed in the ring.

“Uh, call it a fun activity!” Shin chuckled nervously.

“FUN? Hell nah, I’m outta here! Sprunki video!” Finn wailed.

“Here,” Shadow tossed him the suit.

“(FUCK. Okay, time for my second attempt…)” Shin groaned inwardly.

He approached Scooby-Doo.

“Hey, do you want to join?” Shin asked.

“No,” Scooby stated in fear.

“Uh… Scooby Snacks?”

Suddenly, the dog began to drool. He threw it off the cliff to lure the dog into jumping.

“Ruh roh…”

He fell and didn’t land in the ring.

“(Well… At least I motivated him, time for the last one),” Finn thought.

He approached Manny this time.

“WHAT?!”

“Geez, I was checkin’ up on you,” Shin grumbled. “Are you going to jump?”

“NO!”

“Alright, bozos, I’m going for it!” Gru exclaimed.

The agent jumped and landed in the ring. When he was about to swim back to the surface, Terence was already waiting underwater and inside the ring.

“BLGUGUSUGSG!”

He swam back to the surface after being panicked by seeing Terence.

“Welp, that’s two additional scores! Catch up with the Script team, bruh,” Fries gloated.

Burnice jumped and landed in the ring.

“STILL NOT ENOUGH!”

“I’m going,” Baby sighed.

He missed.

“Fuck.”

“Waughwaughwaughwaugh!!!” Nutty shrieked and jumped.

And he, surprisingly, landed in the ring.

“Who’s next?” Sonoko asked.

“Me!” Zee raised his arms.

“OKAY, I’LL JUMP!” Manny yelled.

“Good boy!” Shin grinned.

And Manny just stepped on the Mine Turtle, exploding both of them, and anyone nearby flying away.

—

ELIMINATED

MANNY HEFFLEY (BLOWN UP BY MINE TURTLE)

MINE TURTLE (BLOWN UP)

—

“OH, COME ON!” Shin screamed.

“Poor kid,” Mr. Bean sighed.

“Oi, what’s the long face? That blabbermouth child is gone anyway,” Miu shrugged.

“Talkin’ smack about a dead toddler, huh?” Jinx huffed.

“I got a huge stroke of ego, and I’m not gonna celebrate the death of a child like that,” Kuzco cringed.

“Buddy, you tried to beat him up earlier,” Nick murmured.

“I could say the same to you, buddy!” Kuzco retorted.

“Now the babysitter is gettin’ sad,” Kindaichi muttered.

“I’m not his babysitter—ugh, dammit,” Alyx winced. “Still sucked to see him die.”

“Dude, he’s not dead forever or something; we can just revive him along with the rest of the dead players,” Fries scoffed.

“Bean, your turn,” Miu ordered.

He pointed at himself.

“Yeah, you. Jump,” Miu nodded.

He gulped and stood on the edge of the cliff. He awkwardly does a diving pose and crouches down.

“Is he going to do it?” Kindaichi hummed.

And he fell backward, clearly not wanting to jump.

“We’re not winning this one,” Aventurine shrugged.

“You do it, then,” Kuzco suggested.

“You first,” Aventurine stated.

“Nuh-uh.”

“OH MY GOD, JUST GO!”

Miu tossed Kuzco and landed in the ring.

“PUBLIC EXECUTION IN A FEW HOURS, BE READY FOR THAT, LADY!” Kuzco yelled from below.

Miu rolled her eyes and jumped. She landed in the ring.

Alyx, Shin, and Jinx jumped at the same time. They landed inside the ring as well.

“Okay, one more!” Sonoko cheered. “I gotta do this to steal everyone’s credit!”

She jumped and missed the ring.

“Fuck.”

“Damn, you suck. At least I can do better.”

Kindaichi stopped and turned around instead.

“Never mind, I’m not doing that. Sprunki video, please!”

The remaining three facepalmed. Well, there were four, but Mr. Bean hadn’t moved for once.

“Okay, I guess it’s my turn! I finally get to try this cliff diving contest!” Zee cheered.

“Good luck, buddy. Don’t die,” Nick said.

Zee made his run, but bumped into the motionless Mr. Bean, causing both of them to fall and miss the ring.

“What the hell is going on with this team? We just want to at least make it a tie or win!” Nick groaned.

“Hmm,” Aventurine investigated the drop.

Julie: “Oh, $)*# me in the sideways. The Prose $)#@*% are winning the challenge. Those two looked like they got this.”

Flash: “Holy crap, you’re right! We need some kind of magic to stop them from winning.”

Ryo placed a hand on his chin, thinking of an obvious solution.

Ryo: "Hmm..."

“It’s all or nothing, boys and girls!” Aventurine cackled.

He jumped, then Ryo used his revolver and shot Aventurine’s heels to fling him away from landing in the ring.

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!” Aventurine shouted.

Everyone on the level below shrugged, unaware of Ryo’s shooting.

Kermit: “What was that gunshot noise?”

Jesse: “Being ignorant is a blessing, my dude.”

“Nick, you’re the last man. Make it a tie or something, the blood’s on your hands,” Fries warned.

“Shiiit…”

He looked at the drop.

“Well, I would be fine since there are no sharks,” Nick hummed. “Maybe I got something to use for once.”

He picked up a jar containing green liquid.

“BOOMER BILE INCOMING!”

He threw the boomer bile into the ring. Several zombies have spawned and dived into the ring safely.

“Okay, okay, stop!” Shadow stopped everyone. “Are you going to jump or not?”

“Nah,” Nick answered and dressed up as a Sprunki.

“Okay, bring in the result,” Shadow clapped.

Once the hosts teleported everyone back, minus the dead, the TV displayed the scores.

Script Format

JUMPERS: 14 (Julie, Majima, Flash, Skipper, Kowalski, Golshi, Kiuchi, Ryo, Jesse, Reigen, Pyro, Kermit, ‘Sephiroth,’ Jin)

MISS: Muscle Man, Demoman, Brody, Belle, Azazel, Acheron, Flynn, Shane, Walsh

DEAD: Pingu

QUIT: Kai, Blazkowicz, Misfortune, Wise

Prose Format

JUMPERS: 344 (Spike, Charlie, Agent P, Ellis, Terence, Gru, Burnice, Nutty, Kuzco, Miu, Alyx, Jinx, Shin, at least 300+ unnamed zombies)

MISS: Gon, Joey, Scooby, Baby, Sonoko, Mr. Bean, Zee, Aventurine

DEAD: Oldbag, Manny, Mine Turtle

QUIT: Nemesis, Finn, Sonoko, Kindaichi, Nick

“Well… Trainwreck aside… The Prose team won the immunity by having more than fourteen jumpers, which means the Script team will have to send one of their people home,” Shadow announced.

Brody: “Wh—WHAT?! Yo Mama, that’s so unfair!”

“That’s the point of the show, genius,” Shadow scoffed. “Maybe don’t stick with one brain cell of that Yo Mama humor, then you’d understand better.”

Several Prose members laughed.

“Dude, zombie counts? That’s cool,” Zee laughed.

Julie: “It ain’t you )$)@*#.”

“Sorry, you gotta send one of your fellows home tonight,” Fries shrugged.

The Script teams groaned.

Several Script Format teams gathered.

Wise: “Who are we voting for?”

Julie: “It’s so freakin’ obvious. We should go for one of the quitters like you.”

Belle: “Erm, I originally wanted to quit as well…”

Shane: “Fuck that. Go for Foghorn instead.”

Muscle Man: “Dude, no! He’s cool!”

Shane: rubs head “Lemme tell you something, man…”

Flynn: “We knew you two had beef. I think we would rather vote for a guy who had done nothing.”

Wise: “Dude, don’t go for me! At least go for Kai or something. All he cares about is his viewers.”

Reigen: “That, my friend, is a good choice.”

Meanwhile, in the voting booth.

Shane: “I’ve rigged the votes to get rid of the annoying rooster for good.”

Shane left the booth. Later, Foghorn snuck inside and checked the votes.

Foghorn: “Tsk, tsk, tsk, always knew that bad rooster was up to no good! Well, I oughta reverse the effect to surprise him, ehehehe!”

He rigged the votes and named everything to Shane before leaving.

Later, Acheron barged into the booth and knocked everything over.

Acheron: “Oops… I was trying to find the cafeteria… I gotta restore everything.”

She restored every vote, clearly unaware that she just screwed the voting.

Acheron: "That should do it... I think?"

They’re now in the elimination zone.

“UUUUUUUUUGH, I never realized how painful it was to count every vote,” Fries complained. 

Belle: “Seventy votes?” 

“Maybe… or maybe not,” Fries shrugged. “What matters is… One of you had the most amount of votes.”

“If he called your name. You’re safe,” Shadow claimed.

“Safe are… literally everyone except for Julie, Azazel, Pyro, Jin, and Blazkowicz,” Fries announced.

Julie: “Huh?! WHAT THE %)#*?!”

Pyro: “Mmmph mmph?!”

Jin: “Huh…?”

Blazkowicz: “Erm…”

Azazel: “Uh, I didn’t do anything!”

Julie: “Same! I %)$^#( scored a team!”

“I dunno, man. Ask your teammates who voted for any of ya,” Shadow shrugged.

Clearly, none of them voted for one of those five people.

“Jin and Julie are safe with a single vote,” Fries said.

Jin: “Sigh.”

Julie: “Thank %)$($*# god.”

“Azazel as well with five votes,” Fries announced.

Azazel: “Yipee!”

“Okay, we’re down to Pyro and Blazkowicz,” Fries said. “Our tonight’s loser would be…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Pyro! Blazkowicz, you’re safe,” Fries said.

Blazkowicz: “That’s great.”

Demoman: “Ay, WHAT?! WHO TOUCHED MY PYRO?!”

“Don’t blame me, dude. He got more than fifteen votes against him,” Shadow murmured.

Pyro: “MMPH MMMPH!”

Belle: “Yeah, what the heck! I was voting for the giant rooster!”

Foghorn: “I say, boy, I say, WHAT?!”

Wise: “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP IT QUIET!”

“Votes are fair, or maybe not, but it’s time for you to go, Pyro!” Shadow murmured.

Pyro: “Mmmph…”

He hung his head and followed the hosts.

Skipper: “What happened to the losers?”

“Ain’t tellin’,” Fries deadpanned.

Later.

“Okay, we’re done. Pyro is safe and sound, including the rest of the dead players we currently revived. Nothing to see here,” Fries grinned.

Most of them were unamused but left.

Kai: “No ending monologue?”

“Nah, boring as shit,” Shadow yawned. “See ya in the next episode.”

“Alright, alright, alright, are you ready?” Shadow said.

“Heck yeah!” Fries cackled.

Yeah, they’re making a ritual for no reason.

“This is gonna be a huge hit, bro,” Shadow claimed.

“Hell yeah, it is. This is why he was needed!” Fries cackled.

The two of them began to chant, save for some confused contestants in the background, before they decided to leave them alone, not wanting to be involved.

POP!

They spawned a middle-aged man with messy hair who wears a black leather jacket and jeans.

“Wuh?” A confused detective said.

“WELCOME BACK, TAKAYUKI YAGAMI! INTERESTED IN JOINING ANOTHER GAME?” Fries grinned.

“What game—”

He froze as he was familiar with the white void.

“NO, NOOOO, GET ME OUTTA HERE!” Yagami screamed.

“Come on, mascot of The Most Unfair Show! The fans really missed you!” Fries grinned again.

He lifted a concrete block and tossed it at the hosts, causing them to be crushed slightly. He made his escape before the hosts could recover.

“Urgh, what the heck? Not cool, Yagami! Now I gotta use something to teleport you—”

“IS THAT AN ICE CREAM TRUCK?!”

Yeah, there’s an ice cream truck in the middle of nowhere.

The two of them rushed for an ice cream, and then they just forgot about Yagami entirely.

[END]

Team Prose Format:

Finn Amos — Aventurine — Baby Saja — Nutty — Sonoko Suzuki — Hajime Kindaichi — Nick — Ellis — Miu Iruma — Kuzco — Scooby-Doo — Nemesis — Joey — Gon Freecss — Alyx Vance — Zee — Mr. Bean — Spike Spiegel — Charlie Dompler — Shin Asakura — Agent P — Jinx — Felonious Gru — Burnice White — Terence

Team Script Format:

Jesse Pinkman — Azazel — Little Misfortune — William B. J. Blazkowicz — Takeyuki Kiuchi — Shane Walsh — Skipper — Kowalski — Goro Majima — Flash Thompson — Brody Foxx — Goldship — Arataka Reigen — Acheron — Ryo Saeba — Wise — Belle — ‘Sephiroth’ — Muscle Man — Foghorn Leghorn — Kermit — Kai Monteago — Flynn Rider — Julie Powers — Demoman — Jin Kazama

ELIMINATED:

Pingu, Wendy Oldbag, Manny Heffley, Mine Turtle, Pyro

CONTESTANTS REMAIN: 51

Chapter Text

“For Virgin’s sake, go find a better episode title!” Miu complained.

Jin: “And more original challenge for once.”

“Dude, we’re only two episodes in. Shut the hell up,” Fries replied.

“EEEK—”

Later in the bathroom.

“You’d BETTER have a good reason why you brought me here,” Spike demanded.

The secret area they were in is a bathroom stall in question.

“You really need a better location,” Spike grumbled.

The man in question was Charlie, coughing from the stench.

“Yeah, uh, excuse the horrid smell. That isn’t what you were here for. Okay, so, uh, since you’re the first guy I interacted with in this void, I figured we should team up,” Charlie said.

“As in alliance?” Spike raised his brow.

“Yeah, alliance, very important for the game, dude,” Charlie replied.

“Really? Last time I had an ally, we hardly got along with each other,” Spike deadpanned.

“Whaaat? That’s crazy, dude. What was your job again?” Charlie replied.

“Bounty hunter.”

“Damn, that’s sick. I’m from Smiling Friends Inc. We make people smile,” Charlie claimed.

“That’s it?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s what we do,” Charlie murmured.

“I don’t want to ask your salary, so I’ll just agree with your alliance scheme,” Spike sighed.

“Oh, really? That’s, uh, that’s actually great to hear, Spike. Looking forward to working together,” Charlie smiled.

Jesse: “We can NOT lose another game, yo!”

Muscle Man: “Simmer down, dude! We only lost two people that we never cared about, and the other team lost three people. Well, darn, I guess I gotta spill. I never liked the wheelchair dude.”

Flash: “Heck, I voted for that hot chick.”

Reigen: “Acheron?”

Flash: “Yup, I’m gonna score that chick, ha!”

They gave him a deadpan stare.

Flash: “Wait, that was a vote to eliminate?”

Jesse: “That masked guy was robbed, yo! Do we never suspect anything wrong with this crap?”

Shane: “Fuck yes. There are millions of things wrong about this!”

Jin: “Rigging the votes, then someone else rigged? We can tell by your reaction.”

Shane: rubs head “Lemme tell you, man…”

Jin: “Oh, boy. Here we go.”

Before Shane told Jin something, the loudspeaker interrupted them.

“ATTENTION, CONTESTANTS! TO THE WOODS FOR YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE!” Fries yelled through a speaker.

Acheron: “I don’t recall having trees in this area.”

“It’s the white void, and the hosts got their power to spawn anything,” Kindaichi sighed.

“Who’s hungry?” Shadow grinned.

Everyone raised their hands.

“Man, y’all are gluttons,” Fries taunted.

Majima: “In all fairness, ya haven’t FED US FOR A WHOLE FREAKIN’ DAY!”

Azazel: “Darn, I was considering cannibalism… ERM, FOR RESEARCH PURPOSE!”

“FOOD? WHERE?” Scoob was drooling.

“Ya gotta walk your way to the cafeteria, bruh,” Fries scoffed. “Breakfast’s waiting inside. It would be a shame if that food had gone cold and become a waste.”

Suddenly, half of the cast ran toward the cafeteria, and the other half decided to walk instead.

Julie: “Sounds $)#)*#*%. Who would fall for that?”

“I don’t,” Kindaichi shrugged.

“Staaaaars!” Nemesis roared.

Reigen: “Dang, even that giant zombie knew something was up!”

“IF YOU BACK OFF, YOU WILL BE SMITTEN TO DEATH!” Fries yelled.

Suddenly, the lategoers walked faster this time.

Julie: “You’re not fooling me for this—”

BAM!

The smite almost hit Julie and Kindaichi.

Julie: “F%$* you, fine.”

“THE HELL DID I DO HERE?!” Kindaichi yelled.

Later, a bunch of contestants reached the cafeteria and were greeted by a fancy set of breakfast meals. All of them were drooling.

“Ruh-roh, this is good!” Scoob grinned.

“Dine in, people!” Sonoko grinned.

All of them had their feast.

Not a long time later.

Kindaichi and Julie finally entered.

“I’m really starving, I need to eat—”

The food has already run out.

“NOOOOOOO!” Kindaichi shouted.

“Well, I hope we won the challenge because the dog and the cockroach were the MVPs,” Baby shrugged.

“Scooby-Dooby-Doo!” Scoob licked his lips.

Joey was just laughing.

“It ain’t a challenge,” Shadow said.

BFDI_Gasp.mp3

“Yeah, that wasn’t a challenge, haha. We never mentioned it as a challenge in the first place anyway,” Fries snorted. “Okay — now we’re getting to the real part—”

“Lemme guess. You wanted us to stay awake after we exhausted our energy from running and eating,” Gru deadpanned.

“Yeah, that’s the challenge. NOW GO OUTSIDE AND STAY AWAKE!” Shadow barked.

Everyone is in one big area.

“If I see any of you sleeping, then you’re out of this game until the last person standing,” Fries ordered. “First team to lose, they will vote one of their members out. Again. I’m being generous.”

Scooby-Doo had already fallen asleep.

“Okay, that dog gets out,” Fries huffed.

2 HOURS IN

“What do we do here besides staying awake?” Gon asked.

“I dunno, go fishing or something. You have your fishing rod,” Miu scoffed.

“Hmph,” Terence grunted.

“But there isn’t any nearby water to fish,” Gon retorted.

Beat.

“Uh, my fishing rod is gone now,” Gon spoke up.

Kai: “SOMEONE TOOK MY PHONE!”

Everyone: “We don’t care.”

Kai: “WHY?!”

Several contestants gathered around Ellis.

“Have I ever told you about me and my buddy Keith trying to sell a… special powder a long time ago?” Ellis shared his story. “Once we showed it to the beanie man, that customer wasn’t convinced and needed more evidence, so we used the powder and went through an… awesome effect.”

Golshi: “What’s next?”

“Well, it sorta of went wrong in many ways. It was funny, but nah… actually, it’s really funny. We were dancin’ like a damn zombie, and what did our buyer do? Shot my buddy, Keith, in the chest, and fled after he missed a shot against me,” Ellis spoke up. “He’s yellin’ like if the science were being a bitch or somethin’.”

Jesse: “I think that man might’ve been the person that I just shot.”

On the other side, Sonoko already noticed that Kindaichi was snoring despite not having any energy wasted.

“Dude, you fell asleep already?” Sonoko deadpanned.

“What? That rabid squirrel looked like he won’t sleep anytime soon,” Kindaichi yawned. “He’s got this. I like napping.”

He dozed off. Nutty was going wild, just as Kindaichi had claimed.

“Is it really safe to let him go like that?” Sonoko huffed. “Meh, I’ll just hang around with my teammates or Baba Saja perhaps!”

5 HOURS IN

“Ellis, how are you not fuckin’ tired from sharin’ the stories yet?” Nick groaned.

And he was met by a lot of shush.

“Oh, look at that fuckin’ cockroach, who already fell asleep,” Fries announced. “Bye, Joey.”

The cockroach yawned, not giving a single crap. Meanwhile, the female Scripties gathered in a circle.

Belle: “I’m boooooooooored! What can we do to pass our time?”

Azazel: “I’m really surprised that Acheron didn’t get lost this time.”

Acheron: “I’m right here.”

Azazel: “We know.”

Misfortune: “That’s good. Yay!”

Golshi was playin’ with a speck of dirt, launching it anywhere with her fingers.

Golshi: “Pew!”

The dirt flew into the coffee girl’s face.

Julie: “Ow, what the $)#* were you doin’ you fat %)#*%@! Horse?”

Instead, the horse girl smirked.

Golshi: “Wanna join?”

Julie just jabbed Golshi’s eyes.

Golshi: “GYAAAAAAAAAAH!”

8 HOURS IN

Eventually, Zee, Demoman, and Brody had fallen asleep.

Foghorn: “Scripties! I say, we can’t fall asleep that quickly. Keep the feathers up and slap yourself awake!”

Shane: “You’re wastin’ too much energy if you keep blabberin’ nonsense every second.”

Foghorn: “Oh, now, Mr. Sheriff Sunshine, I say, is here to interrupt the speech, boy!”

“Here they go again,” Shin sighed. “(Those two don’t have a friendly thought toward each other).”

“Skipper, what the heck are ya doin’?” Gru asked.

Skipper: “Well, Kowalski was buildin’ something to help us in this challenge.”

Kowalski: “Almost there, Skipper.”

“Hmm…” Gru said.

Kowalski: “Done.”

Skipper: “Perfect! Also, this is for our team.”

Kowalski: “Okay, let’s start the—aaaand it’s gone.”

Skipper: “WHAT?!”

Flynn was whistling in the background.

“Does anyone gonna tell ‘em that Flynn was stealin’ everything?” Jinx asked.

“Nah, keep it a secret. I enjoy the chaos, dude,” Burnice laughed.

“True,” Jinx cackled.

12 HOURS IN

Agent P, Kai, Majima, and Shin had fallen asleep.

Muscle Man: “Haha, imagine falling asleep before a day! What a loser!”

He had fallen asleep now. Well, Gold Ship and Misfortune had recently fallen asleep, too.

Blazkowicz: “...”

“What are you watching?” Alyx asked.

Blazkowicz: “I’m keeping an eye out in case a threat is coming.”

Thud.

Mr. Bean has fallen asleep.

Jesse: “Yo, this is boring, I’m cookin’ drugs.”

Azazel: “Ooo, drugs? Can I research ‘em?!”

Jesse: “Don’t interrupt my cooking, yo! Besides, I need the damn equipment!”

‘Sephiroth’: “What are you fools doing?”

Kermit: “Since when do you care, man?”

‘Sephiroth’: “Never mind.”

18 HOURS IN

Acheron, Spike, Jinx, Jin, Julie, Shane, and Nick had fallen asleep.

“Welp, both teams are tied with fifteen contestants remaining!” Fries announced.

“This is boring, let’s read ‘em a children's story to make them fall asleep,” Shadow barked.

They pulled out a very bad children's book.

Deep inhale.

24 HOURS IN

Apparently, none of them had fallen asleep.

“WHAT? How the fuck is that possible?” Fries yelled.

“Dude, no offense, that was, like, the worst story I’ve ever heard,” Baby admitted.

“YEAH! STORY IS SO BAD IT MOTIVATED US TO STAY AWAKE!” Finn yelled.

“I think I’d rather kill myself, but there’s no rope around,” Miu stated.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady. You can’t just do that. Replace the ‘r’ in rope with ‘h’ instead,” Charlie said.

“Shut the fuck you, you rotten penis face!” Miu commented.

Kiuchi: “YOHOO! It’s time!”

“Oh, no, man,” Sonoko sighed.

Flash: “PEAK CONTENT INCOMING!”

Kiuchi immediately slammed Burnice.

“GET OUT OF MY FACE!”

She toasted him until he was crispy enough.

Kiuchi: “That’s not gonna stop me! Ahahahahaha!”

Ryo used his revolver to shoot the branch, which launched itself into the businessman, knocking him out cold.

Wise: “Damn, that’s… sick.”

“That should count as sleeping, yeah,” Charlie shrugged.

“Well, I would thank you for that, tee-hee!” Burnice giggled.

Ryo: “Ooookay! Now you will owe me some mokkori, eheheheh!” 

“I dunno what that means, but sure!” Burnice smiled back.

The two of them took off somewhere, and everyone was left in the field, blinking.

Belle: “Oh, they fucked alright. Congrats, Burnice!”

Wise facepalmed in exasperation.

Wise: “Belleeeeeeeeee…”

“Did those two literally bang?” Miu groaned. “Wow, now I’m fuckin’ jealous. How the fuck does an arsonist get a dick before a gorgeous genius lady like me?”

“Man, I wonder if it has something to do with your behavior or ego,” Aventurine smirked.

Baby casually sips a soul out of sleeping people. Oh, wait, I think he already lost that ability.

“Stupid fuckin’ ginger boy,” Baby blamed Reigen.

36 HOURS IN

Alyx, Aventurine, Finn, Miu, Ellis, Skipper, Kowalski, ‘Sephiroth,’ Foghorn, and Blazkowicz had fallen asleep. Yeah, I’m rushin’ this, yeah.

“Prose format is down to eleven people, and Scripties with nine people!” Shadow announced.

Jesse: “Okay, phew! It’s finally done, bitch!”

He pulled out a purple dust contained in a bag. Azazel had been writing everything about how to cook meth for half a day.

Azazel: “Ooooh, what flavor is that?!”

Jesse: “Bitch, you wrote everything in your note.”

“Oh, what’s that?” Gon asked, and Joey was on top of his head.

“Gibberish,” Joey said.

Kermit: “Ay, man, what’s up?”

“Food?” Joey said.

Jesse: “Yeah, bitch.”

Silence.

Jesse: “Wait, NO!”

Joey already opened the bag, and the dust poisoned the cockroach and the kid.

—

ELIMINATED

JOEY (Poisoned by Jesse’s ‘meth’)

GON FREECSS (Poisoned by Jesse’s ‘meth’)

—

Kermit: “Holy fuck, man. You let out the poisonous powder and got two people killed!”

“AH, SCARY PURPLE THING! BLOW THAT THING AWAY!” Charlie screamed.

Everyone used their mouth to blow the dust away, and it flew toward Kiuchi, who had just woken up.

Kiuchi: “What the hell—”

He died from the poison.

—

ELIMINATED

TAKEYUKI KIUCHI (Poisoned by Jesse’s ‘meth’)

—

“AAAH! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!” Sonoko screamed.

A few of them had passed Nutty, affecting him.

“Haw?”

Instead of dying, he just went coo-coo crazy.

“KYAAHAHAHAHH!” Nutty laughed hysterically.

“Staaaaaaaars!” Nemesis yelled.

And he just inhaled all of it. He didn’t die.

“Okay, the crisis is over,” Kuzco smirked.

Flynn: “What about that squirrel?”

The squirrel in question just ate Agent P’s body, laughing maniacally.

—

ELIMINATED

AGENT P (Eaten by Nutty)

—

Flash: “Dude, I think that drug drove him into eating flesh instead of candies.”

Wise: “We gotta do something. Put that misery down. It’s for the best.”

“I got it!” Gru smirked.

He pulled out his freezing ray and shot toward the squirrel, except the squirrel whipped a giant lollipop to reflect it toward the agent.

FOOSH!

Gru was frozen and then slid down the hill, uninjured.

“Hell nah, man. That is bullshit,” Baby admitted.

“Hmmmm,” Terence growled.

“Oh, big guy! You can do it!”

He just smacked Nutty out of misery, offing him.

—

ELIMINATED

NUTTY (Killed by Terence)

—

The red bird yawned and fell asleep. Meanwhile, the rest of them gave Jesse an unsatisfied glance.

Jesse: “Yo, what did I do, bitch?”

Reigen smacked him out cold. He’s technically fallen asleep now.

Azazel: “OOH, what a beautiful slap!”

Kermit: “Man, I’m tired.”

He leaned on Terence’s body, who was apparently on the edge of the slope… so yeah, he rolled down thanks to Kermit’s weight, knowing he’s light as fuck.

Belle: “Where is that bird going?!”

Flash: “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THAT BIRD?!”

Terence unconsciously rolled over a frozen Gru, shattering him into bits, and died.

—

ELIMINATED

FELONIOUS GRU (Shattered in Pieces by Terence)

—

Flash: “MODS! GORE!”

Kermit slowly stepped back after he indirectly caused a guy’s death.

56 HOURS IN

Azazel, Flash, Kermit, Flynn, Baby, Kuzco, Reigen, and Charlie had fallen asleep. Plenty of characters had woken up already and chose to leave the field. Some of them were still asleep.

“How the FUCK are you two not asleep yet?!” She asked the Random Play siblings.

Belle: “What?”

Wise: “What?”

“Staaars…” Nemesis asked.

Wise: “He’s right. We are missing someone.”

Belle: “Oooh, Burnice and Ryo! I think they headed into that bush, right?”

“You check on them, I guess,” Sonoko snorted.

Belle opened the bush and closed it immediately after the most horrifying sight ever. They slept through the whole night while wearing a shoe and a sock.

“It’s down to the siblings vs a fujoshi and a mutant!” Fries remarked.

“FUJOSHI??? BROOOO?” Sonoko gasped.

And then she fell asleep, leaving Nemesis.

“Staaars…” Nemesis sighed.

Belle: “Well, we can stay awake for a week! You can’t do shit!”

And he casually knocked Belle down with his tentacle, leaving Wise.

Wise: “WHAT THE FUCK—”

And he knocked out Wise, too. Except it didn’t budge him because of his weird power.

Wise: “Yeah? You wanna try?”

20 Hours of beating later.

Wise was still awake after a thousand slaps. Nemesis was clearly tired.

He casually pushed the zombie and collapsed to the ground, falling asleep.

“FUCKING FINALLY!”

Loud ass air horn sound effect.

Everyone woke up.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER—”

“Blahblah. Wise carried the challenge, so the Script Team wins,” Shadow mocked. “The Prose team will have to boot someone right now!”

“Wait… Now?” Alyx asked.

“Yeah, that’s what he just said,” Fries deadpanned.

“Why?” Zee asked.

“Dude, we were awake for three days and four hours,” Fries said. “We’re tired as hell to do the elimination and count the votes. A single vote is good enough.”

“That dog looks cute, though. Can I have it?” Finn told them about Scooby-Doo.

“Me?” Scooby-Doo replied.

“Okay! Good enough!” Shadow snapped his fingers.

Scooby-Doo was smited.

—

ELIMINATED

SCOOBY-DOO (Smited)

—

“FINN! WHAT THE HELL!?!” Everyone yelled.

“WHAAAAA, DON’T HURT ME. PLEASE! I JUST WANTED A DOG!” Finn whined.

“Okay, end the episode right now. I’m tired,” Fries yawned.

[END]

Team Prose Format:

Finn Amos — Aventurine — Baby Saja — Sonoko Suzuki — Hajime Kindaichi — Nick — Ellis — Miu Iruma — Kuzco — Nemesis — Alyx Vance — Zee — Mr. Bean — Spike Spiegel — Charlie Dompler — Shin Asakura — Jinx — Burnice White — Terence

Team Script Format:

Jesse Pinkman — Azazel — Little Misfortune — William B. J. Blazkowicz — Shane Walsh — Skipper — Kowalski — Goro Majima — Flash Thompson — Brody Foxx — Goldship — Arataka Reigen — Acheron — Ryo Saeba — Wise — Belle — ‘Sephiroth’ — Muscle Man — Foghorn Leghorn — Kermit — Kai Monteago — Flynn Rider — Julie Powers — Demoman — Jin Kazama

ELIMINATED:

Pingu, Wendy Oldbag, Manny Heffley, Mine Turtle, Pyro, Gon Freecss, Joey,  Takeyuki Kiuchi, Nutty, Agent P, Felonious Gru, Scooby-Doo

CONTESTANTS REMAIN: 44