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On All Hallows’ Eve,
I'll tell you a fright,
How an angel and demon
Did scare me that night.

Alone I was walking
And then the rain came,
So I popped in a shop
With a very odd name.

I muddled about
To find a neat gift.
Like maybe a book
And then call for a lift.

But there was this angel
and demon, it's true.
Funny, how the demon
was nicer of the two.

They would not sell books.
The angel did huff.
They were heavily drinking,
Clearly had enough.

Then me, they invited to
Join them, turns out
that they both had this problem
they were fighting about.

They said they were watchin'
Some mutt for a friend,
But they lost him in Soho
down near the South end.

They were having a party
With costumes and food,
But then they all fought
And it spoiled the mood

Cause another fine friend,
A Sargent of some clout,
Had tried to light candles
And the demon freaked out
And threw him in the street,
Ran him right out the door,
And after that no one'd
Seen the Dog anymore.

To have a look around
I was scared, I recall.
The demon, he grew!
Nearly three stories tall!

Why are you lookin'
at me with that face.
I'm not putting you on.
He took up the whole place!

And then a real witch,
Not a costume, mind you,
Took a whole group of kids off
to look. No, it's true!

The angel he scurried and
worried and frowned
Until the large demon
finally settled down.

We ducked back inside
Before doing more labors
For a bit of more drink
Before checking the neighbors.

Yes I had a nip,
or maybe it was three,
Cause I tried to keep up
With them pounding whisky.

First we checked a house
of some ill repute,
But the doorman was sweet
And not much of a brute.

The angel did ask
When the madam, she came,
"Have you seen Dog about?
Yes, that's its real name."

We next checked the Record
and the Coffee Shop,
But both stores were closed,
So the angel did pop
his head in the French Bistro,
Where the two owners sat.
They invited us in
Spot of food and a chat.

So, we all stayed for dinner.
Insisted they had.
There was even more drinking!
I thought they were mad!

So now at the restaurant
We found us two more
For our search party, except
We'd all forgotten what for.

So the five of us stumbled
Out, that was the rub.
The demon said he knew
Short cuts to a pub.

They sauntered down this street.
Down that street, but here
When they finally stopped
Twas no bloody pub there.

We all got quite lost.
We got separated.
And when we did find them
I was irritated.

We looked for the dog.
But them, they'd not bother
Cause they were too busy
Snogging each other.

We all were quite trollied.
Tumbling round,
and right where I fell
was the hellish Hellhound

Now I thought a doggie
from Hell would be large,
Not this wee little one.
But then came the Sarge.

He was bollocking us,
Good and hard I might add,
For losing the mutt.
He was awfully mad.

But the mongrel looked up
And glowed red in the eyes,
And the Sarge glowered back!
I'm not tellin' you lies!

"There you are," shouted
The demon, "C'mon,
You had us all worried
For puttin' us on."

And once the kids found us
Along with the pup,
The whole group kept on partyin'.
I'm not makin' this up!

Don't tell me that angels
don't really exist,
Or that demons of Hell
Are not real, I insist
That my story is true.
I swear it to God
And if you don't believe me
Just go ask the Dog.