Chapter Text
Horus thought he’d be used to the grandiose nature of the gods after visiting Thoth’s temple, but experiencing moving over the water aboard the lead barque nearly the size of the palace in Heliopolis was something entirely new. Currently, Horus sat on a fine throne in an open cabin overlooking the Mesektet – Ra’s, and now technically Horus’ barque used to pass through Duat –as many gods and servants moved around it, seeming so small at this angle.
Solar servants who looked humanoid but glowed so brightly that Horus sometimes struggled to look at them directly stood nearby with food, drink, and other items he might wish, between the finely painted wooden cabin walls, showing Ra’s past exploits. Two servants sat in a corner, playing instruments for a song Horus didn’t know, not quite drowning out the sound of the giant oars largely pushing the boat through the water. The servants had already changed Horus’ bandages, cleaned his wings, and healed the injuries he’d sustained chasing Seth to the Heliopolis and coming to Ra’s temple, and he felt nearly as healthy as he had before Seth had stabbed his eyes.
There was a pain in his heart when he thought of Seth, currently subject to who knew what at Osiris’ whims down in Duat. And all for Anubis’ sake, while Horus had been entirely useless to him. He had no other options, which was why he’d come to Ra’s temple for aid to get into Duat, and he had to go there to save Seth.
“Feels different sitting there, doesn’t it?” Ra asked as she wandered over, rolling some grapes in her hand. “You’re bearing the pressure decently well.” Her golden eyes glowed and the servants still looked to her most of the time, even as Ra and Khepri had said it was Horus’ time to sit on the throne as Ra’s proper successor.
Horus didn’t reply, choosing to conserve himself. Even sitting on the throne was more than it appeared, because he could feel the boat moving, and it required some of his energy, too, tapping into the divinity he’d felt using the power from Thoth’s eye to access his own abilities and whatever he’d taken from Ra. It was somehow easier than he’d imagined it would be, but the ship was still huge, and he was glad there were actual gods managing the huge oars. The ship moved and he hadn’t fallen unconscious yet, at least, so that was something.
All the gods on the ship had bowed to him as he approached, and not questioned his arrival, despite his youth and current existence as a demigod. His great grandparents – Tefnut and Shu – had even been there, and they’d merely smiled at him, but made no move to greet him. He hadn’t spoken to them at all in the build-up to or during Seth’s trial, and now they were strange pseudo-servants who might answer to him should he call on them. Or who would help defend him in the event the ship was attacked on their perilous journey. He didn’t even know what to say to them, and was only thankful that for all Ra and Khepri were ready to shove all these responsibilities on him in exchange for passage to Duat, he hadn’t been required to make a speech.
He could feel Nut’s presence at his back as well, though she was quiet, as was her wont. But he hadn’t felt this close to her since he’d called to her in his mother’s temple after Hanekate had trapped him. Something had changed in his flight to Heliopolis: perhaps she’d reestablished their connection as he desperately pushed his wings harder than he ever had. But she was a comforting presence, now, and he knew he’d need her help to deal with the trials ahead, particularly the gates separating the many parts of Duat, that required great magical power to traverse. Not only would Horus – or at least someone powerful in charge of the barque – but also the barque and its many built-in spells, and the gods upon it, would have to work to keep their passage forward.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Isis asked after she glared at Ra. She’d been pacing in the cabin rather than sitting in one of the available chairs, and frowning out at the gathered gods, but was clearly wary of leaving Horus’ side.
Isis had counseled Horus against quickly taking Khepri, Sekhmet, and Ra’s offer. She wanted Horus to take time to heal and go to Ra in strength, rather than like Isis had before Seth’s trial: desperate and weak. And Isis was not quick to forget Ra’s mockery then.
Horus, recalling his vision before returning to Heliopolis, had insisted they didn’t have time, and Isis, full of fury at Osiris, and pain over Seth and Anubis, and worried about Nephthys’ recovery, had understood. He was grateful they didn’t have to argue, after his long absence and everything that happened with Seth, Osiris, Anubis, and Nephthys.
“Then go,” she’d said, “and call me when you’re ready to head to Duat.” Because Khepri had said that Horus had to seek out Ra alone.
Retracing Osiris’ steps – much as Horus loathed that – to Ra’s temple hadn’t been easy. Sekhmet’s advice was risky, as ever, and he’d done his best to use his new powers to find his way to Ra’s temple. He was still tired and in pain, and he didn’t trust Ra and Khepri when they guided him to the throne. But he went all the same. Seth was worth whatever cost Horus had to bear.
Ra had demanded they strike a deal, then. Last time they’d met, Ra had made a deal with Isis. Now, it was Horus’ turn.
When Horus had made his bargain with Ra, he’d done it in private, without Isis’ counsel, only remembering what he’d learned over the years, what he’d seen walking at Isis’ side as she’d negotiated with their allies prior to the confrontation with Seth, and at Seth’s side, as he’d navigated dealing with humans and gods, and his own limited experience as Egypt’s ruler.
Ra’s bargain was hard, but if it got Horus to Seth, it was worth it. And whatever destiny Thoth seemed to think he was bound for, Horus knew he couldn’t fully escape it. He even needed it, for his own ends.
As the Mesektet was made ready to depart, Horus sent word to Isis, who came herself to accompany him.
“Nephthys is awake,” Isis said when she arrived at the ship’s dock. She was dressed for war, in her vulture crown, and carrying her Wadj scepter. She glittered in gold and jewels, and her blue eyes burned as Ra – and Sekhmet behind her - smiled. “And she will look after Heliopolis in our absence.”
“You’re sure she’s capable?” Horus had asked, wary of leaving Nephthys alone, after everything she’d gone through. He didn’t hate Nephthys: he was just still wary of her and Seth’s thoughts about her, even knowing Seth had loved Horus for a long time prior to when Seth had abandoned him, and didn’t really love Nephthys anymore, at least not how he’d used to. But Horus knew that being recombined like Nephthys had and being attacked by Anubis and Osiris couldn’t have been easy on her.
“She is willing to make up for what’s happened,” Isis said, grimly. “And I believe her. She is the god of peace, and she helped us four siblings maintain our rule as much as I or Seth… or Osiris, did.” She looked annoyed at that, too. “And she helped to a degree when I was under Sekhmet’s spell. With Hathor no longer interfering, she shouldn’t have any issues.” She eyed Sekhmet angrily, then.
Before Horus left for Ra’s temple, amidst their brief discussion of their next steps, Isis had also explained Hathor and Sekhmet’s odd relationship, at least to the degree she understood, and Horus had explained Thoth’s appearance as well, to what he understand, which had confused Isis until she gave him a resigned look and just said, “These older gods…” and left it at that.
Sekhmet was now messing around on the Mesektet, occasionally taunting Mehen, Ra – and now Horus’ – primary bodyguard, who usually relaxed in the form of a giant white snake wrapped around the central, huge cabin where Horus’ golden throne was. Sekhmet had blown Horus a kiss as he entered the boat, and it made him deeply uncomfortable in a new way, and glad he was avoiding Hathor’s hand in marriage, which Isis agreed to.
Horus still wondered about Hathor’s cruelty in Thoth’s temple. How she’d taunted and mocked him, and made him feel lesser. He loved Seth, and knew his feelings were genuine, but the goddess of love had still pushed at his doubts, and it hurt. A horrified part of him wondered if he deserved to lose Seth as a result. If he hadn’t given into his fear and spoken up about the mirror earlier, perhaps much could have been averted.
But there was no point in dwelling on might-have-beens.
Mehen at least was a staid companion, and bowed to Horus, though his red eyes were sharp and intimidating, and Horus had the same sense of great power from him that he’d sensed from Ra back during Seth’s sentencing. In fact, now that Horus was among these gods, he could better sense all their power. It weighed on him, just like sitting at the ship’s center and pushing it onward, weighed on him.
“I’m fine, Mother,” Horus said, smiling at her. It was about the best he could say. It was better than wailing into the night, begging Seth to come back. It was better than sitting unfocused by the glowing energy cage Isis had placed Seth’s corpse in to preserve it. The cage was at the back of the cabin, and Horus struggled to not have his thoughts stray to it, though he’d ordered everyone else – save Isis – to leave it alone. He thought he might rip apart anyone who tried to mess with it, much as he could with his weak demigod body.
Isis was clearly unhappy with his answer, but she understood at least some of the maelstrom of emotions storming through him, and returned to pacing, holding tight the small glass cage of Seth’s power, to be used when they got back his soul, and only then. She’d explained that it might be used as a catalyst to keep him inside his body, but that freeing it now might let his real body dissipate, erasing any connection he had to Egypt itself. After all, unlike Osiris, Isis hadn’t filled the Nile with Seth’s essence. They had little enough to bind him to the living world. And neither Isis nor Horus wanted to rescue him and leave him trapped in Duat.
They hadn’t discussed Horus’ relationship with Seth much, but after Khepri’s invitation, Horus had made himself clear.
“I love him,” Horus said, even as he held Seth’s cold corpse. “I love him more than anything. I have for a long time. And he loves me.” He knew that, in his heart. “And I must rescue him, if I can.”
Isis had looked grim then as she worked on Nephthys. “A part of me is frustrated that you would pick him of all people to love, but…” She sighed then and paused in her healing. “I am certainly the last person to reprimand a questionably placed love. And he is my brother, and was at least once easy to love in his own way.”
“He’s easy to love now,” Horus said. “He’s not the god he was when he hurt you and tried to destroy Egypt.” He’d been afraid of his mother’s reaction to his relationship with Seth, and mostly avoided it for as long as he could. But now she could see, she knew, and there was no going back. He knew he couldn’t change how much they’d hurt each other, but after seeing the way Isis tried to heal Seth, and grieved for him… he had hope.
Isis looked sad as she said, “I’ll take your word for that. And maybe he’ll prove it when he comes back.” She looked around at the ruined chambers. “Certainly, if he sacrificed himself for Anubis, again, he proved himself.”
Horus recalled the relatively little he knew of the night Osiris died. He wished he had the full story, and not just from Sekhmet. He supposed he might ask, when they had the chance.
Isis looked back at Horus, her expression sad. “And regardless of what I think about your relationship with him… I wish you didn’t have to experience the pain of loss, too. I would spare you that, if I could.”
Horus swallowed and clutched Seth tighter. “I’ll get him back. I will.”
Isis smiled then. “Yes. And I’ll help you. Osiris will pay for all he’s taken from us.” Her eyes burned, then.
“He would be better if he ascended,” Ra said now after she swallowed a grape. “You think this part of the journey is hard, Horus? You won’t survive Rosetau, let alone the return journey, assuming we even get to Osiris in the first place.”
Horus grimaced, gripping the arms of the throne. He knew at least some of the risks, and had heard Khepri and Ra discussing the others. Duat was a huge, complex world beyond anything he’d seen before, and Osiris was just one part of it to deal with. There were spells to work through, and Isis and the other gods could only do some of them. Horus had to be the main one to get them through the gates.
And Ra had only agreed to help to the degree she was if Horus agreed to ascend and take his rightful place as the new sun god. Ra was tired of carrying things around because Horus was too lazy to take what was his.
“You’re king now,” she’d said to him as he climbed to her. “It’s your job, not mine. So take it. That’s the only way you’ll get Seth back.”
Horus didn’t trust her words. Even if she supported him in this aspect and wanted him to take over, he knew she had other plans. She’d maneuvered to get Seth sent to the sun boat after he finished his punishment, after all.
“But then he’ll be with you,” Ra had reminded him as she waggled her finger at him. “And you’re in charge of the sun boat now. Isn’t that what you want?”
It still seemed risky. And Horus didn’t think Seth would like being trapped on the sun boat, especially if he wanted to be with Nephthys and Anubis. Because at the end of the day, that’s whom he’d returned to. Sure, Horus could try to rescue Seth from Osiris, but Seth might just go clawing back to Anubis. And if Anubis was free, then Nephthys.
Horus had hurt him badly, after all. Why would Seth, even loving him, crawl back into Horus’ arms after Osiris?
He clutched the letter Isis had given him when she’d arrived, from Nephthys. She said Nephthys had said it was important, and addressed to him, and that Horus needed to read it. And Horus had looked through it, and saw Nephthys’ explanation about what she’d explained to Seth before Osiris appeared. She made clear that she had no interesting in being partnered with Seth anymore, and Seth knew that, but that Seth still clearly needed support that she couldn’t provide. And though it assuaged some of Horus’ concerns with Nephthys’ role in things, it didn’t solve everything.
For all Horus’ certainty about Seth’s choices, he had so much to be afraid of. Yes, Seth had chosen him, and loved him. But they’d parted so violently. And Seth had hurt him, not just with his eyes, but also insisting that they were done, that Horus could move on, that Horus’ affections were dubious… because Seth wondered if Horus had been forced into it. And Horus had seen what hurting Nephthys had done to Seth. He wasn’t sure they could find their way back to each other so easily, especially when Duat and Osiris stood between them and their happily ever after Horus had dreamed of.
He lost himself in the sound of the giant oars rowing, and the gentle music from the servants. The calls of the boats that accompanied them. It wasn’t just the Mesekhtet in their voyage: other ships traveled with them, carrying even more gods and provisions for their journey. More fighters against the obstacles in their path. They’d entered Wernes, a land full of lush vegetation, where farmers worked and waved to the ship as it passed, hailing Horus and Ra.
Horus would have been shocked they knew him – perhaps alerting Osiris to their travels – if they hadn’t already been traveling for a while and he wasn’t aware of the boat’s crier, who’d been announcing Horus’ presence on the boat itself, as part of the many spells that kept the ship moving forward.
“He needs you,” Nephthys had written to Horus about Seth. “More than ever.”
He knew Nephthys had meant it as a comfort. And Horus wondered if he would be strong enough to support her beliefs. If he could be what Seth needed. But as he winced under the strain of propelling the ship onward, as he considered all the gods counting on him to bear them forward, he wondered just how strong he really was. He couldn’t reach Seth in time to save him, after all.
“It’s Horus’ choice,” Maat said, gazing ahead from where she stood nearby, her expression neutral as always. “If he ascends, then he ascends. You cannot make that choice for him, Ra.”
Ra scoffed and said, “You’re always a stick in the mud.”
It was a kindness of a sort from Maat, who’d joined them as they set out on their journey, insisting Horus would need her help when dealing with the denizens of Duat, as Ra was not skilled in such matters – which Ra laughed over – but Horus knew it was a gentle prod, too, given his experience of Maat and Thoth in Thoth's temple. He wasn’t strong enough. He could choose to fail.
He knew his mother was strong, and full of fury at Osiris for all that he’d done, and that she’d do everything in her power to drag Seth and Anubis back to Egypt and out of Osiris’ clutches. But he also knew that Osiris and Anubis would be stronger in Duat, and so they would be harder to face, and that Ra was limited to her sun boat. She’d offered it to him of course, and was even further abandoning her station. He doubted she planned to aid in any battle on the shores of Duat. And Sekhmet and the other gods here couldn’t fully be relied on once he exited the boat. He imagined they’d wait for him to return, to a degree, but beyond that…
As they neared the third gate, which was a tall glowing structure with armed guards and menacing snakes ahead on the river amidst all of Wernes’ lush greenery, he felt the pressure to move the ship burn in his arms, and he knew it would draw even more of him. That he might perish going forward as he was, insisting he could face things in his own way rather than with what power he was being offered.
His own arrogance and belief in himself had cost Seth everything. It was why he was hurting now. Thoth may have thought love blinded Horus, but that wasn’t the case. Horus willingly blinded himself out of fear and weakness.
I’ll find my way back to him, Horus thought. I’ll do anything for him. I’ll make up for my mistakes. And he knew Isis would bring him back if she had to. And he had Nephthys’ letter.
Seth’s body was in stasis behind him, calling to him.
He looked up at Ra, who smiled down at him, a bit hungrily. “Fine. I’ll ascend.”