Chapter Text
Another day, another entry. Tomioka had been sitting down to do another small entry into his diary. Only to find that he had lost the journal. Somewhere from the masters mansion to his estate, did it fall out of his pocket.
He panics. He’s had journals all the time since “passing” the final selection, since he died. He begins looking around his estate frantically, searching for the small journal with every dart of his eyes. So it’s not on his estate, then? Where else could it be?
He steps outside, tracing every path he’s taken that day. The entrance and beyond has been scouted out now, he can’t find it. What if someone finds it? What if they read it?
His mind spirals, anxiety filling him. He didn’t always write concerning things, at least he doesn’t think so. But it was still where he spilled all of his feelings, where he practiced happiness like a bible.
He feels defeated. He hasn’t found it still, he needs to calm down. He takes a few breaths, walking slowly back into the empty water estate and grumbling.
-
Prior
The other hashiras stayed behind, well, they were still discussing things. Tomioka just had a tendency to leave early. They all sit on their knees, discussing some things. There’s a small, nearly unnoticeable clatter as Tomioka exits. Mitsuri is the first to look over to where it is, noticing a small journal sitting near where Tomioka just exited.
“Oh! I found a journal!” She leans over, grabbing it and looking at the cover, the kanji for “Tomioka’s” splayed over the cover in weathered black ink, the edges a bit torn. “It’s Tomioka’s!” She cries, setting it down before her curiosity gets the better of her.
“Oh?” Shinobu hums, reaching forward to hold the journal herself, studying the pages with a quick flip, turning it forwards and back. “It really is. It’s quite old!” Her sugary sweet smile widens, her eyes squinting with how amused she was.
“We shall refrain from his privacy. Tomioka is a very enclosed man, we should not invade such a place.” Gyomei says, his deep voice rumbling in the room, and Sanemi responds with a click of his teeth.
“I say we read it, always wanted to know what the bastard was thinking.” He says, shifting from his knees into a less formal crossed legged position. He rests his cheek on his fist, glaring at the weathered journal.
“I agree! While I respect him, I wanna see how flashy his writing is!” Uzui bellows, his voice too loud for an enclosed room. But no one pays any mind, he boasted everything, especially his voice when he was in a good mood.
“Now, we shouldn’t! We must respect his privacy as a fellow hashira!” Rengoku belts, his voice loud for a good reason; he could barely hear himself. Everyone was a bit loud in their own way.
Obanai shifts, sitting in a pretzel like position, his flexible and lithe body allowing him comfort where anyone else wouldn’t have circulation to most of their body. “I say we read it. Maybe we’ll know him better…” His voice is a bit raspy, almost like a snake’s hiss as he speaks below his mask.
“We should vote!” Shinobu suggests, setting the journal in the middle of their circle, sitting straight up and sticking a hand up near her chest, palm laid out flat. “I say we read it. Anyone who agrees should raise their hand.”
Tengen, Sanemi, Obanai, and a very shy Mitsuri raise their hands. Muichiro just looks off into the distance and raises his hand, a bit confused but does it anyway. Gyomei hums for a moment, whispering a prayer before raising his hand just a bit. As much as he respected Tomioka, curiosity always had a grip on him.
“Whatever is written should not be ours to judge,” Gyomei began, tears welling up in his eyes. “But we could use this to get to know him better. Making him more social is a smaller priority, but a priority no less.”
“Agreed!” Rengoku says. He raises his hand.
“So we all agree?” Shinobu says, reaching in for the journal once again.
A cacophony of agreement spurs from her question, and she nods, flipping to the first page, and she clears her throat.
Silence rings out, all eyes on her. She’s a bit antsy to begin reading, she always wanted to know what was on her comrades mind, even going to desperate lengths to learn more about him. But the most she knew was his favorite food and whatever was on his medical documents.
She begins reading.
“Today was okay. Kanroji-san brought me western foods. I wonder why, I don’t think I did anything to deserve it. It tasted good, pancakes, I believe is what they were called. Too sweet for my preference, but… the texture was unlike anything I had ever tasted before. There was a new hashira too, I think his name was… Muichiro? Something like that. He’s too young for this job. Well, I was… fifteen when I became a hashira? I’m not one to judge. I don’t have the right to judge any of the others. I deeply respect them, but Iguro badmouths me a lot. It makes me sad.”
Reactions are scattered. Shinobu can’t believe what she just read, and Tengen is in awe. Sanemi and Obanai look at each other. Gyomei is just tearing up more and more, until tears fall down his face. Mitsuri is blushing.
“I’m so happy he liked them! I’ll use less sugar next time..” she whispers to herself, her already bright eyes sparkling like stars.
“Wow! I always thought he was arrogant. We should keep reading!” Tengen hums, a more thoughtful look on his face.
“Will do.” Shinobu is almost giggling.
The page turns to the backside, more writing.
“I had a mission today, and a woman approached me asking about a night with her. I was confused, and ignored her. What does she mean by that? Doesn’t she know I have work to do? Probably not, but still. I’ve thought about it all day. She doesn’t look like an oiran, I was told my father used to see them a lot before his death. I never knew him. Before I write what I don’t know, I’ll continue, I encountered a dog in the street. I hate those things. They’re creatures of Kibutsuji. I do not trust them. It barked at me.”
A giggle resounds from Mitsuri, covering her lips. The others fight not to laugh.
“He was asked out?” Obanai is cracking a smile under his mouth. He leans forward to look over Shinobu’s shoulder.
“What a pure man,” Gyomei comments. “Avoiding lust.”
“Is he an okama?” Tengen grins, his chest trembling with the beginnings of a laugh.
“Don’t assume, Best Buddy!” Rengoku shouts, a large smile on his laughing face.
“Tch, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Sanemi mutters.
“Next… next…” Shinobu manages out, hiding her own little laughs.
“I miss him.”
“That’s it?” Shinobu studies Tomioka’s writing more. It’s shaky, blurry in dots around the black ink. “Oh… uhm, moving on.”
“Today was better. I got to see Kyojuro, and we spent another night together. He’s so kind, it feels like the sun. I always enjoy his presence. I cried this morning, like I did the night before. Today was a messy day for my thoughts, wasn’t it? I had only just forgotten. Anyways, I ate salmon.”
Rengoku can feel the stares on him. Especially from Sanemi. Shinobu looks shocked at what she just read, Mitsuri only got more pink, Obanai was conflicted, and Gyomei’s mouth hung open a bit.
“Wow.” Tengen blinks his eyes to Rengoku. “Did you actually—?”
“Let’s move on!” Rengoku exclaims, his cheery face not letting up even in embarrassment.
Shinobu nods slowly, looking back to the journal.
“I haven’t written in a few days… but I can give a short summary of what happened. I saw Sanemi. It led to an unexpected encounter. I thought he hated me, and he makes ‘love’ like he hates me. Is that possible? He is so much more different than Rengoku… I don’t know who I prefer. Does this make me an Okama? For sure, but I don’t care. I can enjoy a romantic life when Muzan is dead and I deserve love. I went on another mission, and another woman approached me. She was for sure a prostitute. I felt bad and bought her out of her debts, but of course I wasn’t going to be her ‘pimp’ or whatever they call them, so I just gave her to a trainer for the demon slayer core. I wonder how she is doing. She wrote me a letter but I couldn’t read the handwriting. I’m writing too much.”
Pure silence.
Sanemi is shrinking suddenly, covering his face with his hands.
“So he is an okama…” Tengen mutters. He had secrets of his own, why else would he suspect it?
“Next! Next!” Mitsuri beckons, wanting to move on already.
Shinobu is quick to do it, she’s getting embarrassed just by seeing Sanemi like that.
“What is with this sudden spike in my coital life!? Rengoku, Sanemi, now another man in my ranks. This is embarrassing. I don’t want to be considered a bicycle man (which is what they called unfaithful men in my hometown)! I hate to admit it, but… I won’t mention his name. I feel bad even saying that I slept with him. I thought he was the type of guy to never lay with anyone, apparently not. He was surprisingly gentle for his size. Before I get too into detail, I’ll talk about… I can’t even focus. What am I good for?”
Shinobu gasps, connecting the dots. She looks at Gyomei, who wears a bashful expression.
“Gyomei?” They all said in synchronization with each other, all shocked. They all had the same assumption as Tomioka, but apparently they were all wrong.
“I prefer not to discuss this.” The deep voice rumbles out, tears falling rapidly from his irritated eyes.
“Yeah, us neither.”
“I’ll pass up the job of reading to Mitsuri, I’m getting a tad overwhelmed.” Shinobu hums, giving it over to Mitsuri who flipped to the new page.
“O-of course!” She gleams, looking down to read it.
“It’s been another few days without writing. Obanai and Tengen are now added to the list of hashira I’ve slept with. I’m ashamed of myself, why am I acting like this? I should commit seppuku out of shame. Obanai is very controlling, there’s no room for disagreement with him, but I’m thankful he doesn’t last very long. I hated the lack of control. Tengen is so languid, he’s experienced, he’s perfect in nearly every way to me. Oh well, it’s too late to consider a relationship with him, he’s married to three women, and I’ve become a bicycle man. I should just come across twelve kizuki and die in battle to get my honor back.”
“Wow.” Mitsuri says after she’s done reading, squirming with how embarrassed she felt just reading this. Tomioka had laid with nearly every male hashira (except for Muichiro for very obvious reasons (he’s a CHILD)). All of the men are looking down in shame.
“I mean…” Sanemi began, looking hesitant. There’s hums of agreement from his male comrades, he doesn’t even need to explain.
“Be ashamed of yourselves.” Shinobu says to Sanemi. She stands, bringing Mitsuri with her and letting the journal stay with them as she and Mitsuri exit the meeting room. Muichiro follows. He was supposed to anyway, he had to get a physical from Shinobu afterwards anyways.
-
The men look up after a few minutes. Tengen darts after the journal, opening it to where they left off.
“Rengoku came back to my estate after a night drinking with him. My head hurts, but I’m satisfied either way. I like him the most. I am going to invite him to lunch sometime soon. I think if I’m going to befriend my… coworkers, I should invite them out somewhere, correct? I am not sure, I’m not the greatest at socializing. If I could, I would just make everyone have boundaries, but unfortunately most of history doesn’t happen with that.”
It’s entry after entry after entry from the past year and a half, all summarized into an hour of reading out loud. By the end, all of the men in the room are discussing their new thoughts on each other.
Gyomei is silent, praying probably the hardest he has prayed in years.
“He has a pretty face,” Tengen argues, although there’s not much to argue with when all of them agree that he is indeed very pretty. Not handsome, pretty. “It wasn’t hard to be seduced by him.”
“He seduced you? I just kind of went in a room with him and.. yeah.” Sanemi looks a bit offended by the fact Tomioka actually put effort into getting with Tengen.
“I don’t know what it was.” Obanai says, having a small crisis in his own little corner.
“I was always enamored by him! Even more so now, even if he considered himself a bicycle man!” Rengoku cheers.
“So how did it happen with you, Gyomei? How did you end up getting laid.
“I…” Gyomei began, shaking his head and rubbing his praying beads more firmly. “It was a learning experience.”
“Ohh, so you were both learning about each other. Tell us, big man, how was he?” Uzui prompts, getting a bit too interested.
“I will not discuss that without the consent of the man I speak of.” Gyomei firmly says, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Alright, alright.” Uzui rolls his eyes.
“He was really quiet with me.” Obanai says.
“Me too!”
“Me as well.”
“Tch, yeah. Quiet as a damn mouse.”
“He wasn’t quiet.”
The others turn their heads to Gyomei.
“He wasn’t?” Obanai asked.
“Well, who wouldn’t be? You’re probably massive.” Tengen hums. “I personally got a decent amount of noise.”
“Damn.” Sanemi grunts, rolling his eyes.
The door slams open, Tomioka is at the doorway, panting with a few veins popping from his neck, his pupils dots. He rushes after his journal, grabbing it from Tengen and holding it tight.
“My… apologies.” Tomioka says, panting a bit and looking at their faces. Oh shit.
They had read it, didn’t they? They saw everything he said about his experiences with them, all of his thoughts. He wants to die in a pit now!
“Did you read it?”
There’s scattered agreements, quiet and somber now.
Tomioka looks horrified now, he’s never made such an expression. He just walks out slowly, but he is pulled down by a fiery grip on him, falling into the middle of their wonky circle. He sputters, looking around frantically.
“What?” He murmurs, glancing around at their gazes, which were devious smiles.
-
Wow. He… wasn’t too upset about what happened. But never in his life did he expect to be laid by all of his prior lovers in one night; in his master's mansion at that. He was ashamed and satisfied at the same time. But what to do about it now? It might be his only chance at truly socializing with them.
Ever.