Chapter Text
The sky was blue, the water clear, the sand beneath Radford's feet hot; it was a perfect day...well, nearly perfect, because the beach was practically closed due to shark sightings. Great. The only reason Radford agreed to go to California was to swim, and the damn beach isn't even open, what a deal breaker.
“Kevin, I thought you said there hasn’t been a shark sighting since ‘09.”
“There hasn’t. It was probably a kid playing a prank, you’ll get over it, there’s plenty more to do other than swimming.”
“Well, yeah but I wanted to swim in Malibu…”
“Tough.”
Well. Guess he had to find something else to do.
“Rick you wanna go to the boardwalk?”
…he looks asleep, not surprising, it is a beautiful day after all. Goldilocks weather. Kevin’s sunbathing, so he’s not going anywhere.
Flop
“Geez it’s boring here.”
After maybe 2 hours of being asleep on the beach, a seagull landed on Radford’s sunburnt front, waking him up instantly.
“Snfkk! Owwwh!”
He took off his glasses to rub his eyes, stopping when he heard Kevin’s stifled laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“Dude…you look like a cooked hot dog…”
What.
He sat up fast, his stomach burning from the strain.
“Are you KIDDING ME?!”
“Nope! See for yourself!”
Kevin handed Radford his phone camera, showing his sunburnt front. The only part of his face not burnt was where his glasses had sat on his eyes.
“Told ya you should’ve put on sunscreen.”
“This is so humiliating…”
“You’re not the first person to fall asleep and get sunburnt, I’ve done it before.”
“Yeah, but you’re always sunbathing when you go to beaches, you’re a professional at this point.”
“Awwh, I’m flattered, but seriously, I’ve got some stuff to help.”
“Woah, Kevin coming prepared? I never thought I’d see the day!”
“Can it. My intuition might be horrible, but it comes through every now and then.”
“Sure sure….”
What a day. Beach closed, sunburnt, friends don’t want to do anything, 2/10. Screw this.
“Yknow what? I’m going in the water.”
“Uh. I wouldn’t.”
“But you said it was probably a kid playing a prank!”
“Yeah. Key word being PROBABLY Radford. Don’t get in that water.”
“I’m gonna have a good vacation this week Kevin, I’m not gonna waste it sleeping on the beach.”
“Fine. I’m not dragging your ass to the hospital though.”
The water was cool, soothing to Radford’s sunburnt legs, best decision he’s made today.
“Ahhhhhh....shark in the water…yeah right…”
It was calm, no one was chasing him out of the water. Then again, the only lifeguard on duty was flirting with someone who obviously wasn’t interested. Until Radford felt something brush against his leg. He jolted, dipping his head under the wanted to see what it was. Plastic bag. Ew. He reached down to grab it so he can throw it away. Stepping out of the water to be met by a bewildered Kevin.
“Told ya there was no shark.”
“Yeah yeah…I’m still not getting in that water though.”
“Party pooper.”
“Proud to be.”
After Rad threw the bag away, he went deeper into the water to do some unprofessional coral observations. It was beautiful. Bright blues and faded reds, derpy looking fish, sure the occasional littered food in the coral, but it was otherwise pretty.
"Tch...Shark in the water...what is this, Jaws?"
When he went to show Kevin his spoils of war (the coral he was able to get off their branches) his foot scratched against a coral hidden by a plastic shovel.
"Ach! What the hell?! Why do I keep getting hurt today!? First sunburn and now this!"
Radford looked down to assess his injury, he was scratched pretty good. Blood starting to mix with the water.
"SHARK!!"
"OH MY GOD!"
"RADFORD!! WHERE ARE YOU!?"
Huh. SHARK!? Radford fell backwards from the surprise, momentarily blinding him, the current pulling him further into the ocean. Something warm and slick brushed his back, then sharp, jagged, and burning pressing into his waist. Then nothing. Just the thudding of his heart in his head, the feeling of someone pushing him away, then a lifeguard helping him out of the water.
"Oh my God- Rick call an ambulance!!"
Kevin had started to scream, btu Radford didn't hear it. He fumbled for his glasses, which was lost to the current.
"Mh..My glas..ses- wh...where?.."
"You just got bitten by a shark and your worried about your GLASSES!?"
Kevin yelled while someone pressed something into his side. Felt like a towel, but on his sunburnt skin it was like a cactus stuck to his side. That's when he looked down. His waist might as well had been ripped open, jagged lines in an arch along the skin, each hole raised from the trauma and oozing blood at a steady pace. Yet Radford felt nothing.
"...di...Did...did they get that take?"
"What?!"
"Oh...hey Kevin...were filming...the 5th Jaws...'m a stunt double..."
"No, your- uuuugghhhhhhh you're hallucinating. You're not a stunt double filming Jaws 5, you're a nerd losing blood on Malibu Beach."
"Ohhhh that's what that was..."
"...RICK!! How much longer is that ambulance gonna be?"
"Said they'd be here in 10 minutes...why?"
"I'm about to slap Radford right on his sunburnt face."