Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

(Our story opens on a large bicycle wheel shaped base on a hostile alien planet)

(Inside is a laboratory, and out of a strange machine comes a short woman with long flowing orange hair in a bright yellow sundress and sunhat)

(The woman wakes up to find a tiny creature on her chest, said creature is a an almost perfect replica of her head with a red beanie on two brown boots)

Leggy: eeeeeyee

Daycare Worker Meggy: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(The Leggy gets picked up and thrown by another woman who’s near identical to daycare Worker Meggy if not for the Red beanie with headphones, white tee, tan cargo shorts, brown boots similar to leggy’s and the fact she’s in a wheelchair)

Original Meggy: Get out of here you, Okay you're awake, you good, great, come along now. (picks up DW Meggy from the machine)

DW Meggy: What's going on, AM I DEAD??

Meggy: Jury's still out on that one, but that's not important, what is important is that I need you to do something….

DW Meggy: STOP! Just, where am I, What's going on and WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME?!?!?

Meggy: Well….

(An elevator pops in to reveal another orange haired woman in a brown blazer suit, hair in a bun, and glasses)

Lawyer Meggy: let me guess, panicked, confused, doesn't believe the situation either?? (Elevator leaves)

DW Meggy: THERE'S MORE!?!?!

Meggy: (Whispers) ugh thanks a lot Meggy, GET BACK HERE!!

(The elevator comes back with Lawyer Meggy and another Meggy in twintails wearing a black leather jacket and pink beret)

Mafia Meggy: I found the toolbox boss.

DW Meggy: I… I Think i'm gonna faint.

Meggy: faint later, elevator now. (pushes DW Meggy into the elevator)

(All four of the Meggies and leggy are all cramped up in the elevator)

DW Meggy: So there’s four..

Leggy: eeeyeee

DW Meggy:...five of you… of Me??

Mafia Meggy: Actually there's 6 of us.

Meggy: OH RIGHT, Where’s Coach Meggy?

Lawyer Meggy and Mafia Meggy: Training.

MEANWHILE

(We cut to another Meggy in a large bulky grey spacesuit)

Coach Meggy: (training)

(Coach meggy receives a transmission)

Meggy: Meggy you need to get back to base NOW, The sun's gonna rise any minute.

Coach Meggy: It is, how long have I been out here? (Looks out on the horizon)

Coach meggy: oh….

Coach Meggy: (starts running) CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP

MEANWHILE

DW Meggy: Wait… WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT REAL?!?!?!

Meggy: Well it’s a long story that’s partially incomplete but…

Lawyer Meggy: That woman in the wheelchair made a bunch of clones of herself to do all the hard crap that she can't do because she’s handicapped.

Meggy: laying it on a bit thick here ME.

(The elevator arrives at a burning engine room)

Mafia Meggy: Alright then, nerd me carry the tools, (cracks knuckles) im goin in.

Lawyer Meggy: And what the hell am I supposed to…

(Mafia Meggy is already busy putting out fires)

Lawyer Meggy: (grumbles)

DW Meggy: Okay so the one with the beret…

Mafia Meggy: I'm with the mafia.

DW Meggy: th-.. THE MAFIA?!?!?

Meggy: I put her in charge of mechanics

Mafia Meggy: Shooting guns all day made me know a helluva lot about guns, like gun types and how to repair them and hey guns are just tiny machines after all.

DW meggy: Okay, and the one with the glasses…

Lawyer Meggy: I’m a lawyer.

DW Meggy: and your job is..

Lawyer Meggy: According to Mrs Original “Smart People Things”.

Meggy: I thought that a lawyer would be smart enough for like, research and… things…

DW Meggy: and you mentioned a “Coach Meggy” I believe, she’s for…

Lawyer Meggy and Mafia Meggy: Training.

MEANWHILE

(Coach Meggy is running while avoiding bursting lava)

Coach Meggy: CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP AAHH

(An Interal appears, a wobbling mass of distortion)

Coach Meggy: (picks up a rock and Chucks it at the Interal like a baseball)

(The rock goes through its body)

Coach Meggy: (Runs past it) TAKE THAT SUCKAA!!

MEANWHILE

DW Meggy: Okay so what about me? Im a daycare worker, do you need me to babysit…

Leggy: EEyee

DW Meggy: th- Head- me- Thing???

Meggy: Not exactly, Also BTW that's Leggy she’s uuuuuuuuuuuuuh… Also here.

(Meggy pulls DW Meggy into the Comms room)

Meggy: Keep it down everyone we are gonna make the call!

(Explosion explodes)

Lawyer Meggy: (Screams)

Mafia meggy: Oh come on a little dangers not gonna kill ya.

(Comms room door closes)

Meggy: Okay look, I need you to do a huge favour for me and the other me’s because if this doesn't work out we are all gonna die.

DW Meggy: d- d- d- I NEED TO CALL MY FRIENDS!!

Meggy: BINGO, That's what I need of you.

DW Meggy: What?

Meggy: So this communications hub is partly busted but we did manage to get it to contact one of our friends, problem is its Mario and you and I both know he can be…. Obtuse.

DW Meggy: So you got me because…?

Meggy: The QC’s mind records show you have a really good relationship with him, probably even better than all of ours, so you must be able to get through to him and ask him to help us.

DW Meggy: well- uh- (face turns red) he has helped me out in the daycare a lot, and it’s been surprising to see him really care for the kids, it m- made him a good f- friend to me.

Meggy: Great, your gonna tell him that we need…

DW Meggy: OKAY FINE I ADMIT IT HE’S MY BOYFRIEND AND WE’RE DATING!!!

Meggy:.......

DW Meggy:.........

Meggy: Okay im gonna process that later, calling him now.

(another Meggy arrives in a black uniform and shorter styled hair)

Coach Meggy: Sorry guys I got- (gasps) A NEW MEGGY TO TRAIN

Meggy: Coach now is not the time for..

Coach Meggy: (Drags DW Meggy to a nearby room)

Meggy: Meggy WAIT!

Comms: Calling Mario

Coach Meggy: Alright, first things first, try lifting this barbell

(Coach meggy hands DW Meggy a barbell that she struggles to lift)

DW Meggy: sorry, i'm a bit out of practice with lifting heavy things.

Coach Meggy: Out of prac-?? Your Meggy Spletzer, Athletics are in your blood!

Coach Meggy: (grabs the barbell DW Meggy is holding and raises it above her head) With enough training you’ll be able to lift weights like these no problem. (Lets go)

(The barbell lands on DW Meggy’s head and knocks her out)

Meggy: (Wheels into the room) MEGGY!!!

Mafia Meggy: (peaks in) need something boss??

Meggy: NOT YOU!

Mario: Hello_Its a me_Mario_and imma thank you for_calling_Mario

Coach Meggy: uuuh, whoops

Lawyer Meggy: (Runs into the room and looks over DW Meggy)

Meggy: She’s gonna be okay, right doc??

Lawyer Meggy: For the last time, I'M NOT A DOCTOR, I'M A LAWYER! If you want a Doctor Meggy that badly then make one.

Meggy: I Can't Make One, THE BASE ISN'T AT LEVEL 3 YET!!!

Mario: Hello_hey where'd everybody go

Meggy: (rushes over to comms) Hey Mario, long time no see, uhh, you look nice.

Mario: Editatiou
Subtitles: Wait, we are on a phone call, how do you know how I look?

Meggy:..... Uuuuh, Scuse me for one second

Meggy: (gestures Lawyer Meggy to get DW meggy awake)

Lawyer Meggy: (gestures Meggy to look behind her)

Leggy: (Munches on Rapidium, which then causes the Leggy to split into two Leggies)

Leggies: eeeeeee.

Meggy: and Leggy’s gotten into the Rapidium again, alright You (points at Mafia Meggy) keep trying to fix the engines, You (points at Coach Meggy) stall Mario while we try and wake up the other Meggy so she can talk to him.

Coach Meggy: Wait, He’s your friend from your timeline why can't you talk to him?

Meggy: Because he’s… well Mario, One day he’s a dumbass, one day he’s somehow the voice of reason, one day he tries really hard to do something, the other he tries really hard to do something stupid and bad, and the other he doesn't want to do anything at all, or do the opposite of what anybody tells him.

Meggy: It's just that he can be very inconsistent about the kind of person he wants to be on any given day.

Lawyer Meggy: Gee, why does that sound familiar?

Meggy: SHUT. THE F(woomy sound effect). UP.

Coach Meggy: (sighs) okay i’ll go talk.

Meggy: How much time is left?

Lawyer Meggy: (typing away on a terminal) Before the radiation of the sun kills us all, about 5 hours and 52 minutes, (looks back at the terminal) wait….

Lawyer Meggy: Make that 49 minutes

Meggy: Well, we can still work with that

Lawyer Meggy: You realize that we are all going to die in LESS THAN AN HOUR!!

Meggy: Wait, you meant just 49 minutes, i thought you meant 5… OH GOD WAKE HER UP NOW!

Coach Meggy: SERIOUSLY, you need to stop lounging around everyday and make something of your life!

Mario: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Subtitles: YOUR NOT MY MOM BITCH!!

Coach Meggy: Why I oughta-

Meggy: (Covers Coach Meggy’s mouth)

Coach Meggy: MMPMFHMPH

Meggy: (Whispers) okay maybe that wasn't the best idea

Meggy: Sorry about that Mario, things have just been stressful lately, whoops forgot something let me go get it.

Meggy: (looks towards Lawyer Meggy) Get Her Awake NOW!!

Lawyer Meggy: Well, I know what works in situations like this (Grabs a bottle of water and splashes it on DW Meggy)

DW Meggy: AAH- oh man I just this crazy dreee- its still going.

Meggy: (Wheels to DW Meggy) You need to talk to Mario before-

Mafia Meggy: Sup Red, Long time no see

Mario: Wait a minute

Meggy: -something like that happens, look if you don't talk to him and get him to save our asses the sun is gonna burn us all to death in 49 minutes.

Lawyer Meggy: 47

Meggy: FORTY SE- (inhales) 47 minutes

DW Meggy: (faints again)

Meggy: DAMMIT, Splash her again.

Lawyer Meggy: (sighs then splashes DW Meggy with water again)

DW Meggy: AAH-

Mafia Meggy: -Oh man, you have got to tell me about that Bob on fire story…

(The engine rooms makes an exploding sound)

Mafia Meggy: OH SHIT I FORGOT!! (Grabs Lawyer Meggy and pulls her to the comms) Talk to Red for me okay, byeee (runs off)

Lawyer Meggy: eh- (sighs) Hello Mario.

Mario: Oh you so good you got Mario confused.

Meggy: Look, I know it seems dumb that I brought you to life, or transported you from another dimension or whatever, just so I could have you talk to someone I already know who’s already my friend, but well… I'm in a crazy situation and I need all the help I can get. I know that sounds selfish but trust me, The Meggies I made here are all my friends, and I would never think of them or you as a tool or anything less. So please, for our sake help us out.

Coach Meggy: Hey wait, I'm the coach, I should be giving the inspirational speech

Meggy: NOT NOW!!

(the three of them hear a banging sound that they go and investigate)

(Lawyer meggy is banging her head against the comms room wall)

DW meggy: Is something wrong??

Lawyer Meggy: Sorry I forgot that every conversation with mario makes me want to BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL!!

Mario: Mario think you_coo-coo crazy
Subtitles: welp, Meggy’s gone mad, im hanging up

DW Meggy: WAIT, Reddy, please just listen to me.

Mario: hmmm
Subtitles: Reddy??

DW Meggy: (Blushes intensely).... Uuh-

Mario: M&L Gibberish
Subtitles: I like it, sounds cute.

DW Meggy: Thanks it’s uh, Really nice to hear from you again. Look I need a big favor.

MUCH LATER

(all the Meggies are hanging out in the social room watching memes, While multiple Leggies are running around making squeeing noises)

DW Meggy: I uh- Still can't believe we are all still alive.

Mafia Meggy: I still can't believe Mario managed to get the D Batteries we needed to fix the engines, get it to us, and we all managed to fix the engines and get us moving away to escape the sun in less than 47 minutes.

Lawyer Meggy: 42

DW Meggy: Is it always like this around here??

Meggy: More or less, but we keep moving forward.

Coach Meggy: Because we are Meggy Spletzer. No matter how bleak the situation seems we always rise to the top and come out stro-

(The alarms go off)

Mafia Meggy: I GOT IT BOSS! (Runs off to fix things)

Lawyer Meggy: Im convinced this is hell.

Chapter Text

(We open back at the base where Original Meggy is typing away at the Quantum Computer, Daycare Worker Meggy eventually walks in)

DW Meggy: heyy.. Meggy?

Meggy: uhm yeah that's my name?

DW Meggy: Sorry, isn't it confusing how we are all named Meggy??

Meggy: Well we just distinguish ourselves through our occupations, Daycare Worker, Lawyer, Coach.

DW Meggy: I guess, although it might be easier if you just gave us all nicknames, I wouldn't mind having a nickname as long as I get to choose what it is, like Elsie.

Meggy: Elsie???

DW Meggy: I think it’s a cute name.

Meggy: Did you come all the way to find me just for that?

DW Meggy: N-No i just saw that you looked bothered typing away here and wanted to know what the problem is.

Meggy: Well, I like to fiddle with the QC mind records to see what I could have been like if I altered my life, it's pretty crazy to see all these potential avenues I could have gone down, There's a Police Officer Meggy, a Firefighter Meggy, a Streamer Meggy, Producer Meggy, Athlete Meggy, Professor Meggy, and more…

Meggy: and recently I just wanted to know if there was any version of me that.. Well.. learned how to cook?

DW Meggy: (starts crying) Is this about what happened in the kitchen?

Meggy: NO, I keep telling you I'm not mad that you burned all the mush, It’s just that well, I've always been a disaster in the kitchen and I wanted to know if there was any version of me that fixed that.

DW Meggy: Have you tried with the others, That Lawyer seems smart?

Meggy: I have and their attempts were not any better, even the Lawyer.

Meggy: Although I think I’ve found a Meggy who might be close enough to being a better cook.

DW Meggy: Wait, are you gonna…

Meggy: Okay yes, I am thinking of bringing them to life but hey, this will be useful to us as with her around we don't have to keep eating mush.

DW Meggy: so.. What version is it?

Meggy: It's… actually you know what… I’ll make it a surprise.

MUCH LATER

(All the Meggies are gathered around the Womb machine which has recently finished creating a new Meggy)

Mafia Meggy: So what's the news you wanted to tell us about boss?

Lawyer Meggy: Yes why on earth are we here?

Coach Meggy: (whispers to DW Meggy) Geez, why is this version of us such a stick in the mud??

DW Meggy: (whispers) well she is a lawyer…

Coach Meggy: Fair

Meggy: Everyone, I’ve created a new Meggy to fix our culinary woes, It’s not a Chef Meggy, but it’s as close as we are gonna get.

Meggy: So Stand and behold fellow Meggies (wheels back).

DW Meggy: I guess the nickname idea really isn't going anywhere…

Coach Meggy: Nickname idea??

DW Meggy: I thought giving us all nicknames would better differentiate us.

Mafia Meggy: WAIT, If we were getting nicknames can I be called Uzi?

Lawyer Meggy: Uzi??

Mafia Meggy: You know, like the gun.

Lawyer Meggy: I know what it is I just want to know WHY??

Mafia Meggy: What? What would you have called yourself?

Lawyer Meggy: A normal damn name, Like Nicole.

(the machine opens, after the smoke clears it reveals A Meggy in a leather cowboy uniform, complete with a cowboy hat and red bandana)

Cowboy Meggy: (wakes up and then looks around) What in tarnation?

Lawyer Meggy: A cowboy? (Looks at original Meggy) You created a Cowboy Meggy???

Meggy: Just wait and see. (Turns to Cowboy Meggy) Hey there, you good?

Cowboy Meggy: What in the sam hell?? Why are there people that look like me?

Meggy: It’s a long story but just bare with us alright? (helps up Cowboy Meggy) Now, You remember who you are right?

Cowboy Meggy: (stands up) M- Meggy Spletzer?

Meggy: Correct, and me and those others are also Meggy Spletzer because we are different versions of you.

Cowboy Meggy: uh…. This desert heat's gettin to ma head.

Lawyer Meggy: We aren't even in a desert.

Meggy: Now, do you know what you do.

Cowboy Meggy: I’m a cowboy, I’ve been romin the wilds as an outlaw, survivin in the unforgivin desert lands.

Meggy: Okay cool, and I heard you know your way around…. Potatoes?

Cowboy Meggy: Oh yeah, (Pulls out a potato) I’ve been eatin tonsa these things, even learned how ta grow em which is good for when ya starvin.

Lawyer Meggy: Where did that potato come from?

Meggy: Perfect, I can build us a greenhouse to add to the base so she can supply us with hydroponically grown potatoes to get us better meals than what we currently have.

DW Meggy: What about the unlimited instant ramen supply station this base has?

Lawyer Meggy: Personally I'd welcome an alternative to our diets.

Mafia Meggy: What? I thought we liked Ramen.

Lawyer Meggy: I do enjoy Ramen but not every damn day.

Coach Meggy: I’ve honestly been trying to cut back on ramen, lotta carbs and a lotta salt.

(Meggy somewhat frowns upon hearing that)

LATER

(The Meggies are gathered in the newly built greenhouse watching Cowboy Meggy successfully hydroponically grow a potato)

Cowboy Meggy: (Gives a sniff and a bite of a potato) Yup, s’all good.

Meggy: Great, Now with our designated Botanist we can…

Cowboy Meggy: Now hol on there little lady, while I been scroungin and scavagen for a while, I ain't really a farmin typa gal, I wanna see adventure.

Coach Meggy: Great, we can get you out of the base and start your training with some mining.

Cowboy Meggy: OOH, I’ve done some mining before.

Mafia Meggy: Hold on, I thought I told everyone that I wanted to do more mining.

DW Meggy: Aren't you in charge of repairs?

Mafia Meggy: Well yeah, But what if there’s nothing to fix? I’m a tough gal, I can go out onto the surface.

Meggy: Well, there are a lot of mining stations for tons of resources, It wouldn't hurt to have a few people out.

Coach Meggy: But aren't I the designated Miner?

Meggy: Okay, Maybe we need to find a way to decide who goes out mining each day.

Mafia Meggy: OOH, I know, We can draw straws.

Cowboy Meggy: (The sound of glass breaking plays in her head as she tenses up and her eyes go wide)

Cowboy Meggy: w- what d- did you s- say???

Mafia Meggy: (confused) I said we could-

Wren: D R A W

Mafia Meggy: -straws? You know we take some straws of different lengths and…

(Cowboy Meggies breathing starts slowly getting faster as she stumbles away from the other Meggies slightly)

Meggy: Are you ok- (reaches out but DW Meggy stops her)

DW Meggy: Wait!! I think she’s having a panic attack.

Mafia Meggy: What, Why? All I did was talk about straws.

DW Meggy: (takes a few steps forward) Hey, hey there, it’s okay, just take a few breaths and…

Cowboy Meggy: STAY BACK!!! (Pulls out a revolver)

Everyone: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!!!

Lawyer Meggy: WHERE THE F(woomy sound effect) DID THAT GUN COME FROM?!?!?

Cowboy Meggy: WHERE IS HE!!! IS IT ONE OF YOU VARMINT'S?? IS THIS ANOTHER ONE OF HIS TRICKS?!??!

Mafia Meggy: Jeez, what's this lady got against straws??

Coach Meggy: and whose this he- OOOOOOH I think I know what she’s talking about.

Meggy: Yup, im putting the pieces together as well

DW Meggy: same…

Lawyer Meggy: Then do you mind explaining this to us?

Meggy: Wait, do you not remember??

Mafia Meggy: remember what??

Meggy: uuuh, One Shot Wren??

Mafia Meggy: HOLY CRAP, THAT GUY!!! He’s like, my hero, wait, DID YOU GUYS MEET HIM!!!

Lawyer Meggy: And what does it matter? I haven't spared a thought for him since I was a child.

Mafia Meggy: SERIOUSLY?? He’s freaking ONE SHOT WREN! He’s the guy who gave us our Iconic red beanie.

Lawyer Meggy: You're not even wearing it!

Mafia Meggy: (Lifts up pink beret to reveal red beanie and headphones underneath)

Lawyer Meggy:.........

Mafia Meggy: So what was Wren like? Was he awesome, he must have been awesome.

Meggy:... well…. He kind of….. Lost his fame and popularity when he started losing matches and might have turned into or had all this time been a crazy narcissist…

DW Meggy: …so when he got his hands on some wild west themed matrix simulation he decided to use it to make all his desires come true, which led to him kidnapping me and my friends….

Coach Meggy: …and deciding to use me as his own personal punching bag but with bullets instead of gloves.

Lawyer and Mafia Meggy:................................

Lawyer Meggy: huh… Well this is why you never meet your heroes.

Cowboy Meggy: HEY!!!

(Everyone looks towards Cowboy Meggy)

Cowboy Meggy: YALL IGNORIN ME OR SUMTHIN!!!!

Meggy: Meggy just calm down, You're not in the simulation anymore okay, you aren't in any danger.

Lawyer Meggy: Except for the fact we are on a hostile alien planet.

DW Meggy: With a radioactive sun constantly rising ready to burn us all to ash.

Coach Meggy: And the outside has molten lava and these crazy radioactive distortion monsters.

Mafia Meggy: And this space base that keeps us safe from all that tends to crumble every so often.

Cowboy Meggy: (says nothing)

Cowboy Meggy: (Then starts laughing)

Mafia Meggy: Okay, she’s laughing now, that's a thing that happy people do, so she’s good now…. Right???

Cowboy Meggy: (Looks up at the ceiling) SO THATS HOW IT IS YA BLACK DEVIL?? What, got sick of playin cowboy so now you wanna play space ranger or somethin, SURE, GO AHEAD!

Cowboy Meggy: (Keeps gun pointed at the other Meggies) and puttin in all these clones a me ta mess with me. YEAH, WHY NOT?!? But I been here long enough ta know ya tricks, I AIN'T GONNA BE YA SLAVE FOREVER.

Meggy: Wait, How long have you been in there?

Cowboy Meggy: Hell if i know, not a lotta calendars round these parts. Days, Weeks, Months, Years, What does it matter? NUTHIN MATTERS. Even me gettin shot doesn't matter, Just look (Points gun to head)

(All the other Meggies make incoherent ramblings of No’s asking for Cowboy Meggy to put down the gun until….)

Coach Meggy: Wait, what about Tari??

(At hearing her name, Cowboy Meggy stops)

Lawyer Meggy: What about her?

Coach Meggy: She was kind of the whole reason we escaped the simulation, didn't she bail her out?

Cowboy Meggy: how…? How do you know that name???

Coach Meggy: We all know Tari, she’s our friend.

(Cowboy Meggy lowers the gun)

Cowboy Meggy: Friend…. Yeah…. Our friend…….

Cowboy Meggy: Wish I wasn't such a crappy friend.

Meggy: Oh come on, that's not true…

Cowboy Meggy: I shoulda listened to em! I shoulda listened to her, and not driven em all away. Talked all about helpin them out by showin them a true champion, I was just thinkin bout maself. I just wanted to show everyone that the man I idled wasn't a loser like they said he was….

Cowboy Meggy: And where did that lead me? (starts crying) Right into that black devils claws…….

The Meggies:.............

DW Meggy: (Comes forward) It’s not your fault.

Cowboy Meggy: But I fell for-

DW Meggy: He was a cruel person we thought was kind, he may have been kind at one point in his life. He was special to us, and he knew that. But whatever the case is, It’s his fault how he turned out and the actions he committed.

Cowboy Meggy: But if I just listened and wasn't such a bad friend…. (sniffles)

DW Meggy: (Puts a hand on Cowboy Meggy’s shoulder) You are a good friend, and I'm sure if they knew you were trapped, your friends would work day and night to rescue you, even if you pushed them away.

Cowboy: (wipes tear) Yknow, You ain't so bad for a simulated woman.

DW Meggy:.... Hehehe, sorry but this whole situation is, unfortunately, very much real.

Cowboy Meggy: Yeah, sure, alright.

LATER

(The Meggies are in the kitchen, Cowboy Meggy is cooking dinner)

Meggy: Okay so we worked that out pretty well.

Lawyer Meggy: You do realize people don't get their trauma cured after one conversation, The scenario you’ve described to us is absolutely going to have long lasting effects we won't see the end of.

DW Meggy: But that’s why I'm here, whenever she’s in a bad place she can come to people like us to help get her out of it.

Cowboy Meggy: Alright, Dig in y'all (presents a plate of peeled potatoes)

Lawyer Meggy: Did you even cook them??

Cowboy Meggy: Not entirely, me an cookin go togetha like oil an water.

(Everyone looks at Original Meggy)

Meggy: Well, I said she was as close as they got (Takes a bite of potato) besides, potatoes at least taste better than mush.

Cowboy Meggy: Well that's why I been eatin em so much, easy to make and just as fillin, barely even hafta cook.

Mafia Meggy: Well, you know what they say about potatoes, “So good you could eat em r-

(DW, Coach, and Original jump on Mafia Meggy and cover her mouth)

Mafia Meggy: MPH- MHPFGPHGM

Cowboy Meggy: what wuzzat??

Coach, DW and Original: NOTHING!!