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The smoke curls around him, softly caressing his skin as it loops through the air. He closes his eyes as he holds the smoke in his lungs. Soon he’s releasing it out into the air once more. He sighs in content as he lounges back on his bed. He opens his eyes and stares up at the ceiling. He has his fancy projector going, red and blue swirling across his ceiling in intricate patterns that leave behind splotches of purple. It was one his dad insisted on when Farkle first admitted to being afraid of the dark as a kid. It had a bunch of different colors and settings but he liked this one. It reminded him of Maya and Riley. The way the red chases after the blue only to be engulfed by it in its entirety. He often though of the red as Maya. Vibrant and demanding attention. Trying its best to imitate anger. The blue was obviously Riley. Calm and inviting. As infinite as a clear sky. Sometimes the blue would chase the red. No matter which color was chasing which, they always met in the middle, erupting in brilliant shades of purple. It took Farkle a long time to settle on the right light mode, only doing so once he met Maya and Riley.
Riley and Maya. Oh how he adored those girls. But he knows they’d never approve of his pastimes. As bad as Maya pretends to be, she’d never be caught dead with marijauna. He’d seen it happen before. Someone once offered her bud and she told on them. That was when he knew she’d never know. He’d thought about smoking with Riley before but she’d tell Maya and Riley also is the daughter of a lawyer and teacher. He knows that Mr. and Mrs. Matthews both indulge in marijauna from time to time but he doesn’t doubt Riley’s goody-two-shoes butt wouldn’t tattle. She didn’t know about her parents’ indulgences, after all. He wishes they would join him. They could have so much fun. Riley would probably ramble about everything and nothing while Maya would listen intently. Farkle wishes they would try it.
He shakes the thought away, instead taking another hit. He lets the joint linger on his lips a moment longer than necessary. Only when he’s exhaling does he pull it away. He watches the smoke curl around itself in the air. Oh how he loves his parents’ busy schedules. They aren’t home right now, like usual, leaving him with ample opportunity to stink up his bedroom. It feels like a sanctuary. All he needs to make a sanctuary is a bit of bud, a comfy jacket, and a nice space to nestle into. He’s currently curled into the space between his bed and the wall. He’d long since given up on sleeping in his bed, instead enjoying the snug space beside it. He’s gotten it into the perfect nest spot. He sighs once more as he finds his eyes wandering to the window. He wonders what his friends are doing right now. They were talking about hanging out at some party earlier. He had told them he wouldn’t attend because it wasn’t his scene. Little did they know it wasn’t his scene because of the lack of recreational drugs. He went to one of the parties Maya and Riley liked once. It wasn’t as fun as other parties he’d managed to get into by himself. No one was smoking or drinking and they were all just hanging out sober. He didn’t have a problem with it but he always found it easier to attend social gatherings with a little bit of something in his system.
He had ditched pretty early on, claiming sick, just to get high in his room by himself. His bitter reminiscence is cut off by the sharp sound of his phone ringing. He jerks upright, feeling across the top of his bed for the offending device. “Ah ha!” He says as his fingers close around the device. He pulls it in front of his face, ready to hang up when he sees the name on his screen. ‘Lucas’ in big, bold letters stares back at him. He sighs before hitting the answer button. Immediately he can hear music spilling into the phone.
“Farkle! You should come to the party! We’re having so much fun but it’d be funner with you!” It’s Riley’s voice filtering through the speaker, which comes as no surprise. He can hear Maya grumbling in the background, something about party poopers. “There’s so much candy!” Riley says excitedly. Farkle weighs the options in his head as Riley rambles on about it. He supposes he could use some company. He is getting a little tired of sitting by himself. Plus getting out would do him some good. He can always bring a bit extra with him just in case.
“Ok, I’ll come. Send me the address and I’ll be there.” He cuts Riley off. She squeals in excitement, quickly alerting the others of his agreeance. He manages to get her off the phone and an address is quickly typed into his ride app. The ride to the party is fine. The driver is nice enough, lets him leave the windows down and feel the cool air. Once he’s at the party, he realizes he feels very out of place. He can see several Halloween costumes sprinkled throughout. He brushes it off and keeps walking, on a mission to find his friends. By the time he finds them, his high has nestled comfortably in his chest and he doesn’t feel on edge. He finds it easy to slip into the conversation. They end up in the kitchen and Farkle is a little disappointed to see a lack of alcohol but he shouldn’t expect anything else. He lets his friends push and pull him, going with whatever flow they deem necessary. It’s an easy routine he falls into, having done it time and time again. He dances and laughs, lets Maya throw him over her shoulder in some silly contest. He lets Riley draw some cat whiskers on his face. He lets Lucas teach him a simple line dance even though he’s awful. Zay even convinces him to play a few rounds of ping pong.
Despite his friends’ sobriety, they’re very fun to be around when he’s high. He’s always liked getting high by himself but that was before he knew how easy it is to exist around those he loves. He never smoked that much in the beginning. Only a little bit here and there. Just enough to soothe his shot nerves when a test grade was a little low. And then just enough to soothe the ache in his body beginning to set in. And then just enough to sleep at night. Eventually it spiraled into one joint in the morning just so he wasn’t in pain for the rest of the day. It wasn’t ever enough to be a noticeable change. No one picked up on his shift in personality. They seemed to equate his new laid back and chill attitude to being friends with Riley, Maya, Lucas, and Zay. Most wouldn’t be wrong, per se. His want to be included led to his daily use of weed. It helped make everything easier and he loved it. It helped his aching muscles, could help his aching mind, and most importantly, it let him enjoy his time with his friends. He would choose that over misery any day.