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A Way to a Man's Heart is Probably Not Killing Him

Summary:

Lance starred at the food in front of him—or at least he thinks its food. It might just be sledge that fell underneath the oven and was scraped up into a plate.

With an unfamiliar bashfulness, Keith asked, “Do you like it?” His eyes having a rare vulnerability in them. Not like the usual confidence, go into everything first look he wore, but now something more unsure and anxious.

And would Lance be the biggest asshole of a boyfriend on the planet if he destroyed what little confidence Keith had at the moment.

Smiling unsteadily, Lance poked at the pasta, he thinks it’s pasta, and nodded. “I do! It looks... great?” His voice raised an octave, and he mentally face palmed himself.

or

Keith attempts to cook food for Lance but it turns out horrible. Lance is too sweet to let Keith down slowly and just pretends to like his food.

Notes:

CW: unpleassant descriptions of food.

Notes:

Fetuccini alfredo-- a dish of fettuccine pasta coated in a rich, creamy sauce made from butter, Parmesan cheese, and often heavy cream.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

There were so many things that Lance loved about Keith—like so so many.

He was determined and never let the world kick him down. Lance liked to think he could do the same, and he could, but definitely not without whining. But Keith? It was a hard-earned skill and now he doesn’t blink twice before facing a challenge head on.

Then there was his natural talent to be able to pick up any skill after only a few tries. It was baffling to lance and honestly made him jealous at some points, which started their dumb rivalry when they became college classmates. But now, he just admired his boyfriend for that and was able to tame his jealously.

However... Like anyone else, Keith wasn’t perfect and definitely had things that he wasn’t great at, much to Lance’s surprise.

Like cooking.

-

Lance starred at the food in front of him—or at least he thinks its food. It might just be sledge that fell underneath the oven and was scraped up into a plate.

With an unfamiliar bashfulness, Keith asked, “Do you like it?” His eyes having a rare vulnerability in them. Not like the usual confidence, go into everything first look he wore, but now something more unsure and anxious.

And would Lance be the biggest asshole of a boyfriend on the planet if he destroyed what little confidence Keith had at the moment.

Smiling unsteadily, Lance poked at the pasta, he thinks it’s pasta, and nodded. “I do! It looks... great?” His voice raised an octave, and he mentally face palmed himself.

It seemed that gave Keith a bit of validation and he looked more hopeful. “Wait, really?” And thank God he was terrible at reading tone or Lance would be more toast than this food.

“Really.” He assured in a steadier tone.

The food Keith made, the fettuccini alfredo, looked wrong, but wrong was a generous word—it was inedible. The noodles, when Lance poked at it, seemed way too firm in some parts while way too soft and mushy in others, creating a displeasurable texture if he were to put it in his mouth. The sauce looked like the milk and cheese somehow curdled and separated, making the scent of bad dairy flood Lance’s nostrils and he had to close his eyes and not gag. The seasoning, bless Keith’s heart, didn’t look the best either; grains of salt could be seen, and pepper was placed inconsistently throughout the dish like he never mixed it in.

Needless to say, it wasn’t good.

But when Lance initially opened his mouth to tell Keith that, his boyfriend’s accidental puppy-dog eyes made him shut up within seconds.

Because Keith put in effort. A lot of effort. He worked on this dish for two hours somehow and was determined to cook like how Lance cooks for him. It’s not his fault he wasn’t taught to cook in foster care or that Shiro didn’t teach him as a teen because his cooking skills were just as doomed.

Lance flinched when Keith shoved the bowl closer and said with a lilt of excitement, “Take a bite,” While looking at Lance expectantly.

There was a pause, a deep breath, and a little prayer he sent to his family that he loved them and all his friends.

Thank God drama and acting was one of the first electives he took in college.

With gusto, Lance grabbed the bowl and fork before holding it up to his mouth and tilting it in. He was inhaling it to one; make Keith think it was great and two; get it over with.

The second the food hit the back of his throat, he almost gagged. His shoulders jerked, and he coughed before hiding it behind a “Mmmm...” And hoping it was convincing.

The cheese and milk mixed with the salt in a way that was pretty terrible. It was like if you got a pile of fat, a container of salt, vomit and threw it together. Some parts of the noodles melted when his tongue so much as touched it, while others Lance had to bite through.

Oh God, he was going to get food poisoning and die, wasn’t he?

Swallowing what bit remained from their cheap white Dollar Store bowl, he placed it down with a clank and sighed shakily. His face was covered in sauce, and he wiped it off before chugging water.

The response seemed to make Keith look beyond surprised, and he just simply said, “Wow, you really liked it,” With almost skepticism.

Instantly, Lance cleared his throat and harnessed all the acting that he knew. “Babe! That was great! Really, I loved what you did with the sauce and noodles, you did great.” He laid the praise on thick and tried to seem genuine, reaching a hand out to grasp both of Keith’s in a way he knew made the other soft.

It seemed to throw Keith off his lies and the other melted, “Thank you...” He smiled a smile so rare that Lance sighed in adoration. Yeah, he’d eat maybe twenty more bowls of that again if he could get Keith to smile like that again.

He rubbed his thumbs over Keith’s calloused hands from working at the mechanic shop and doing Ju Jitsu before replying, “Of course, babes. You’re a great chef,” He only felt a halfhearted tug of guilt in his chest that he shoved down.

That made Keith’s eyes light up, and he squeezed Lance’s hands tighter. “Maybe I should cook more often!” He sounded so excited.

A nervous laugh fell from Lance’s mouth, and he leaned over to kiss Keith’s cheek. “Nah. I think I’ll stick to the cooking.” And Keith furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Quickly, he added, “I mean—it's just you do everything around here. You fix the stuff that I have no idea how to fix and help with my old car and everything! Besides! I love cooking!” He exclaimed, hopefully not overselling it.

Keith blinked at the sudden boisterous explanation but shrugged. “Alright, if that’s what you want.” He hummed and tapped his chin, “Maybe Hunk could teach me more cooking stuff...?” He questioned out loud.

That actually sounded like a great idea because Hunk could actually teach him to not accidently kill him.

Lance gave his signature laid back grin and said, “That’s a great idea, babes. You totally should! Hunk would like that,” Hunk was a culinary major and cooking with others was his love language—he probably would.

Keith wore a face of hesitation and Lance was about to ask, ‘What’s up?’ Before Keith suddenly gave him a hug. Lance didn’t know what to do for a moment, since Keith wasn’t one to suddenly hug someone, before wrapping his arms around him and squeezing tightly.

“Thanks... for being so supportive. I don’t... usually like showing people stuff I’m not sure about...” Keith confessed into his shoulder, burying his face deeper in his neck.

Wow...

Almost with uncertainty, he cradled the back of Keith’s head and held him with so much tenderness that anyone might think he was holding Keith like a fragile object. “Yeah... anytime. You can show me whatever you want, Mullet. I’m your boyfriend,” He pulled back and smiled, blue eyes meeting purple.

He smiled back with softened eyes and responded, “I know,” Before picking up the bowl and going to wash it.

The other watched him walk off with a loving sigh.

God, that food was bad.

But not as bad as he was down bad for Keith.

He guessed he wouldn’t mind eating more of Keith’s creations if they made him that happy.

Notes:

Oh my goodness.

I tried to record myself writing this as a fun thing to share with you guys and my friend and I was going to put calming music as a background and make a cute video but MY SCREEN RECORDER WASN'T RECORDING AHHHHH! I'm SO sad! I wrote this all in 35 minutes and I was going to show my friend my fast writing and typing skills ONLY FOR MY LAPTOP TO NOT RECORD AHHHHHHHHH

Would you guys like a cute video like that? I wouldn't be doing a voice over but it's like a "Write with me!" type of thing! :) I'll try to record it again when I write another simple short story!

Also, I DO suggest finding a way to communicate to your partner you don't like what they made :) Lance is just silly.

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