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Two Time woke to the feeling of purring on their chest. They were laid on their back in bed, the ceiling fan spinning in lazy circles overhead. They just laid there for awhile, disinterested in the idea of getting up.
It was April 26th. The anniversary of the day Two Time sacrificed Azure.
It's been two years since Two Time and the rest of the survivors escaped the clutches of the Spectre. Most of them didn't know what to do with themselves at first- after everything they've been through, returning to any semblance of normalcy almost felt like a bad joke. Their loved ones—if they had them—couldn't possibly understand, leaving a rift between the lives the survivors led before, and whatever rubble that remained now.
But they coped as a group, just as they had all come to depend on each other back during the death matches. The survivors were now something of a misfit family, all sharing this unique trauma that nobody else in Robloxia could ever hope to understand, and channeling their difficult emotions and memories into weekly group therapy sessions. And for better or for worse, they all moved forward. Together.
Two Time now lived with Noob and Guest 1337. The trio were closer than ever. The decision at the time felt natural, as the cultist had nowhere else to go after the Admins rounded up and banned the leaders of their former organization—including Amarah, much to Two Time's simultaneous guilt and relief—effectively shutting the entire operation down. Meanwhile Noob was chronically ill, finally dealing with the full repercussions of their old alcohol addiction that had been put into stasis during their time spent Forsaken. They could no longer consume any of the drinks that originally killed them—lest it send them straight back to the afterlife (and since Guest refused to drink and Two Time only ever used to for religious reasons, it was easy to ban the stuff from the house).
(Besides; it was a well-known thing in the "survivors" community that death was a universal fear; none knew whether the Spectre awaited them again beyond the veil of death. Not even the Admins.)
As for Guest…
Guest 1337 had perhaps one of the most tragic outcomes of the survivors. He was one of the first to be whisked away by the Spectre after his death, which gave his family years to grieve, process, and move on with their lives…all without him. Daisy found a new lover, and Charlotte was nearly grown up. Neither of them needed their protector anymore, leaving the soldier adrift and without purpose to guide him through his multifaceted PTSD.
So the soldier instead found a new call to action: caretaking the two younger survivors he now lived with. Through much trial and error he's become adept at pulling Two Time out of their schizophrenic episodes, as well as ensuring they took their medicine on time each day. And he helped Noob out of their depressed and traumatized spirals as well, all too familiar himself with the feeling of panic that gripped all their hearts on occasion. And the two younger Robloxians helped him, too—at least as much as they could while haunted by their own demons.
Two Time reached down to pet the purring mass on their chest. A small black-and-white cat they'd named Nightshade, after Azure's favorite flower. They scratched under her chin, the purrs growing louder in response. She was Chance's idea; he'd told them they ought to get a therapy cat, something that loved unconditionally and would give the ex-cultist something worth living for. And most importantly, something to seek comfort from in the event Guest or Noob were ever unavailable.
They couldn't say that it was a bad idea. They loved Nightshade dearly, after all. The only problem was the occasional intrusive thoughts; the flickers of memory, of animals on ritual dais, sacrificed in the name of the Spawn. The thought of Nightshade meeting such a fate—of Two Time being the one to do it—the dagger held over their head-
Two Time cried over the grave of their deceased lover, buried beneath a simple mound of dirt in the middle of a field. This was the grave of the lover Two Time had killed. The lover Amarah promised would come back to life as soon as the ritual was over. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Why did it happen this way?
"The Spawn has deemed him unworthy," Amarah assured them, hand clasped firmly on Two Time's shoulder. "Do not mourn them. To live is to die, and to die is to live. Someday it will be all of our turns. Whether it happens once or twice comes down to our devotion for the Spawn."
Amarah eventually walked away, but Two Time stubbornly remained. The Ghostfire Dagger burned a hole into their side where it was holstered in their belt. They were surrounded by Nightshades, Azure's favorite flowers. Azure once warned them that the plants were remarkably toxic, and lethal in high doses.
They didn't want to be apart from him. They couldn't do this without Azure.
They squeezed their eyes shut, hand tightening into a fist in Nightshade's fur, rumpling it. The cat sighed in protest, but otherwise didn't react, laying still as Two Time's grip trembled, then relaxed, taloned fingertips gently smoothing the disturbed fur back down. It was a struggle, but they managed to banish the thoughts for now, gently nudging the cat off of their lap so that they could sit up in bed.
Nightshade needed her water refreshed, and Two Time had a list of tasks to complete.
Noob was the last one in the house to wake, and Guest the first. Noob greeted Two Time warmly when the owl hybrid emerged from the shadow of the hallway and into the living room. Guest 1337 stood up and walked over to them, wordlessly offering a hug, which Two Time hesitated before accepting with a short nod, stepping forward and meeting the older man half way.
Guest's hugs were always really nice. His grip was strong but not suffocating, helping to ground Two Time in the present moment. They stood unresponsive for a few moments before their arms slowly lifted to reciprocate the gesture. Guest gave them one final squeeze before backing up.
The pair knew what day it was, and had taken the time the day before to prepare a whole array of snacks and movies for them. It was all once a foreign concept to the former cult member, who was raised on a very bland diet and lived a life devoid of technology. In time Two Time learned, and these small gestures and activities became some of their favorite things, inextricably connected to the two people who had taken the time to show it all to them.
They wouldn't trade either of their housemates for the world.
"If it would be alright with you both, I'd like to visit Azure before we get too comfortable." Two Time said, clasping their hands together. It looked something between a plea and a gesture of prayer. Guest and Noob exchanged glances, before nodding. "I'll drive you," Guest replied. "We'll all go together, is that okay with you?"
Two Time nodded, and without saying anything more, turned and made for the door. While Noob and Guest took the time to get their shoes on, Two Time walked out barefoot, taloned feet impervious to the rugged cement lining their front porch. All of the survivors lived in a line of houses in a gated neighborhood. The Admins insisted it would be a good idea to stay nearby each other in case of any emergencies, or if anyone was in crisis. Shedletsky, Elliot, and 007n7's house was across the street from Two Time's own. Elliot's car was pulled out of the driveway, which told Two Time that he's probably already left for work for the day.
The door behind them opens and then shuts. Guest walks past Two Time to get the car running, and Noob stops to gently take Two Time's hand into their own, gently tugging the avian alongside them and helping them into the car.
Two Time zones out after that, and doesn't resurface until they feel their seatbelt being unbuckled. The static in their mind was nearly deafening, and they turn owlishly to face Noob at the diminished sound of their voice, the yellow-skinned Robloxian pausing before a somewhat uneasy smile appeared on their face, sweat beading along their brow.
"You're, um…making the face again," Noob stammered, and Two Time blinked, but their lips refused to relax from their upturned position. They did manage to narrow their widened eyes, however, which seemed to be enough to put Noob at ease.
"We're here, c'mon," Noob urged, and Two Time finally climbed out of the car. It was parked in a lot near the edge of a forest trail. It was about a mile hike from here to the site of the cult's old grounds, and another quarter mile after that until they would reach their destination. Two Time's hands began to tremble as they approached the trailhead.
They couldn't understand their own reaction. This place was their home for years; the elders were kind to bring Two Time in after they were orphaned, feeding and clothing and educating them in the ways of the Spawn. This was where they met Azure, this was where Amarah told them about their grand destiny, how they were going to be a vessel for their deity…
But it was also a place of tragedy, pain, and suffering. At least that's what everyone told them. Some days it was easier for Two Time to acknowledge than others, guilt and self-resentment swirling in their chest. They had no right to pin the blame on the actions of others, but…
This was a place of sacrifice. Of pain and suffering. Starvation, ignorance, and indoctrination. The elders punished any slight infraction, demanding perfection that couldn't exist. Always pushing, pushing, pushing…until something breaks. Mentally or physically. In Two Time's case, it was the former, but they bore some physical scars as well.
At the trailhead, Guest paused and stood in the way, eyeing Two Time with a serious look in his eyes. "Are you sure you want to be here Two Time? We can find another way to pay our respects if you're too uncomfortable." Two Time shook their head, and the man hummed but didn't protest the decision. The former cultist took his hand into theirs as they walked past him, now holding both Guest's and Noob's in either palm as they proceeded forward and into the treeline.
The walk was mostly silent, and so was the forest that surrounded them. Eventually the trees thinned out into a clearing; rows of worn-down and collapsed homes filled the secluded meadow, empty and long abandoned. The Crusade had been swift and devastating; after being freed from the Spectre's realm, Telamon himself oversaw the extermination of the higher-ups and ensured the rescue of any indoctrinated Robloxians. Two Time themself hadn't been present to witness any of it, hospitalized at the time as a result of an intense bout of psychosis.
(They felt bad for the scar on Noob's left forearm; inflicted by Two Time when Noob raised their arm in a panicked effort to block the avian's Ghostfire Dagger from hitting anything vital. Guest was devastatingly quick to restrain the ex-cultist after that, his grip ironclad even as the cultist screamed and thrashed, eyes wide and unseeing.)
Eventually the trio passed all of the houses, and they approached a vast meadow of wildflowers. New varieties of blooms had moved in during the years spent without a gardener tending to it, but there were still hundreds if not thousands of nightshade flowers spreading out before them. Two Time felt their breath hitch at the sight of the blooms, grip tightening on their companions' hands as memories struck them unbidden.
"I love nightshade flowers," Azure said, smiling as they tucked one of the blooms behind Two Time's ear. His own hat—a gift from Two Time—was covered in them, their fragrance strong even from a distance. "And I love being out here, where the others don't really bother to go…its nice to get some peace and quiet now and then."
Two Time was touched that Azure was willing to trust them with their secret place like this. A flush rose high onto their pale cheeks, eyes lighting up with their smile; a real one, bright and unhaunted by the horrors that were to come.
"What's something that you love, Two Time?" Azure asked, resting his hands in his lap. Two Time thought that they were so beautiful; they didn't know how it could be possible for one so stunning to exist, and even give Two Time a second glance. The way his robes flowed yet hugged his frame in all of the right places, how their raven hair framed their face, with an asymmetric braid woven on one side…the way their violet-colored eyes would shine whenever they were talking about something he was passionate about…
The answer felt obvious.
"You, Azure. I love you."
Azure was stunned, immediately turning bright red. It was far from the first instance of Two Time saying this to Azure, but it was the first time they had said it with so much passion and weight. It left the other cultist at a momentary loss for words.
After a moment, Azure seemed to find them again. Gently reaching forward to hold Two Time's hands in his own.
"I love you too, Two Time."
They made it to the grave.
Two Time blinked down at the mound of soil, mostly flattened by years of rain, and covered in patches of nightshade flowers. Letting go of Noob and Guest's hands, the owl avian approached the unmarked grave, lowering themself so that they were sitting on their knees. They gently placed their hand over top of it, lost in thought.
Was their own body buried alongside his?
Two Time remembered it vividly. After Amarah walked away, leaving Two Time alone at the gravesite, they had resolved to never rise again. For all of their loyalty and faith in the Spawn, they felt helpless to do any of it without their lover by their side. Confidence wavered like yearling trees in a storm.
Besides. If the ritual worked, Two Time would rise again; they would be reborn anew in the eyes of the Spawn, leaving their past life and all of its weight behind.
And if it failed…
Well, at least they would be by Azure's side as they faced whatever came next together.
So Two Time took some of the nightshade blooms from the field surrounding them, mixing it all into a poultice the way Azure had shown them so many times. They slathered it onto the Ghostfire dagger, then lay themself down beside the grave, almost as if they were spooning it. With the hand that wasn't trapped beneath their body, Two Time aimed the dagger for their vitals, closing their eyes…
Their breath hitched, and Two Time trembled from head to toe. A sob passed their lips. The avian tried to smile, but it wobbled at the edges, and only made it harder to suppress their grieved noises. They were used to having to cry silently; and the fact that they couldn't only made them feel worse.
At once Noob and Guest were at either of their sides, hands on each of their shoulders. Two Time was tugged into a firm and broad chest, a warm and calloused hand combing through their unruly (and slightly greasy) hair. Two Time gripped the soldier's chest with a force that they would later apologize for, talons painfully digging into skin through fabric as they shook like a leaf.
"None of it was your fault," Noob soothed in their gentlest voice, the yellow-skinned Robloxian sniffling and tearing up in empathy, heart wrenching at the sight of the other so distraught. Their heart wept for the former cultist; for as much trauma as they shared with one another, this was a form that neither Noob nor Guest could ever truly relate to; all they could do was try to offer the best support they could.
"I miss them," Two Time warbled, choking on their own words as they attempted to hold back their overflowing emotions. But the way that Guest gently massaged their shoulderblade—scarred from the way their wings had been chopped off, scarred from the way the Spectre had forced new ones to rupture from their back, again and again and again—made holding back their emotions feel that much more impossible. It felt as though the grief may swallow them whole.
"I know," Guest replied, the man whispering the best he could in his gravelly tone. His massaging shifted to a firm grip, and he gently tugged Two Time into his side, wrapping his forearm across the front of their chest. Two Time let it happen, sniffling wetly and grossly as Noob settled in front of them, reaching for Two Time's hands. The yellow-skinned Robloxian gently intertwined their fingers with the owl's own sharp talons, hands squeezing hands reassuringly.
Being held like this, some people might feel trapped or suffocated. And once upon a time, Two Time might have felt exactly that way. But Two Time knew these two, trusted them more than they thought they trusted anyone else in all of Robloxia. It was safe here, even in this garden of pain and loss, so long as Guest and Noob were by their side.
"Thanks you guys," Two Time whispered, finally sagging like a puppet with its strings cut. "I'm sorry."
"There's no need to be sorry," Noob said, gently bumping their forehead against Two Time's. Neither Robloxian made direct eye-contact, but Two Time could see yellow hair mixing with their black as they slowly nuzzled into the intimate contact, tilting their head until their noses brushed. Two Time closed their eyes and took a deep breath, held it, then exhaled slowly as they had been taught. It hardly helped, but managed to chisel a small layer off the top of their overwhelm, making them feel less like they were about to completely fall apart.
After a few more moments, Two Time slowly and gently backed out of their friends' respective embraces. Nodding gratefully towards either of them, Two Time crawled back over to the side of the mound in the ground, clasping their hands together as if in prayer and closing their eyes.
"Hi Azure," Two Time whispered. "It's me…Two Time. Sorry to disturb you…but I wanted to let you know it's officially been two years since I last saw you." 'As someone I barely recognize' went unspoken as Two Time continued, "and, coincidentally, its the anniversary of the day I…lost you, as well."
They were silent for a moment. Deep breath in—harsh exhale.
"No. Not since I lost you." The ex-cultist grit out. "It's time I be honest with myself…you deserve at least that much. It's the anniversary, Azure…of the day that I killed you."
There was a pregnant pause. A shaky intake of breath. Another exhale. Two Robloxians stood off to the side, respectfully silent but ready to at once intervene if necessary.
"And I will spend the rest of my life regretting that decision."
A tear slid down Two Time's face. "I just don't understand it…why didn't you make it out? C00lkidd made it out. Mafioso made it out. Why not you?...Why not you?"
"...I never want to move on from you, Azure. And I don't think I could if I tried. A big part of me died the day that you did. But…in the interest of staying honest…I wanted to tell you about my friends." Two Time turned and looked at Guest and Noob, gesturing for them to come closer. The duo hesitated for a moment before approaching, kneeling beside the grave.
"You may remember Guest and Noob from the matches…we're living together now. Our love isn't the same as the love I had with you…I don't think I can love that way again. But I do know that what we have is special. I hope that you accept and approve of my choices." Two Time smiled at Guest and Noob—bittersweet but genuine—and the pair returned the gesture with smiles of their own, supportive and gentle.
"I miss you so much Azure," Two Time said. "I love you. I always will. I'll give Nightshade so many kisses for you. I know you always wanted a cat when we were kids…"
Two Time pressed their index and middle fingers to their lips, kissing them, before gently pressing their fingertips into the dirt in front of them. Then they stood up, their companions doing the same. "Goodbye, Azure. I'll see you again next year, okay? So just wait for me until then. Say hi to the wild animals for me."
Reaching into their pocket, Two Time pulled out a fistful of wildflower seeds. Rearing back their hand, they threw the seeds in an arc, spreading them throughout the meadow.
"I'm ready to go now," Two Time said, eyes red-rimmed and sunken in with exhaustion, but there was an air of peace emanating from the avian as they began their walk back to the car.
"You did good today Two Time," Guest only broke the silence once they were in the car and buckled in, Guest once again behind the wheel as he eyed the aforementioned Robloxian through the rearview mirror. Backing out of the parking lot and setting back on the road, Guest offered a smile through his reflection. "You've come a long way."
"Thank you, Guest," Two Time said, wringing their taloned fingertips together. "Each year it gets…just a little bit easier. And part of me feels bad, like forgiving myself is a bad thing. But I know now that I was a victim too…even if it doesn't feel like it most of the time. I wouldn't be anywhere good without you two to uplift me." Noob reached out a hand behind them from the front passenger seat, and squeezed Two Time when they took it.
"Lets take the rest of the day to just lay around and watch movies," Noob suggested. Their companions hummed in agreement.
"A lazy day should be good for us," Guest agreed. "We'll be home soon, and then we don't have to do anything else."
Two Time leaned their head back against the headrest, closing their eyes and absentmindedly listening to the music that played on the radio. Things were far from perfect, but they were never alone, and that was enough. They smiled—small, but real—and settled into a light doze for the semi-long drive back home.
It wasn't ever going to be easy to move on. But Two Time knew one thing: and that was that with these two Robloxians, they knew they were Home.