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Chapter Text

“–and after we’re done with the official mission stuff, you gotta show us around Kyoto! I heard you have a tower over there, too!”

“You almost make it sound like we’re going on a vacation and not a mission, Okumura”, Konekomaru said from the middle seat across the aisle, a soft, amused smile on his lips. It had been barely half of an hour since the bullet train left Tokyo for Kyoto, and the Exwires along with the senior exorcists had just settled to their seats.

“What can I say, I have never left Tokyo before”, Rin replied, having a hard time sitting still. He had been bursting with excitement ever since Shura had announced they were leaving the town for a mission. In his hands, he held a Kyoto tourist guide that he had been flipping through the whole day. Most of the pages were full of red markings as he had kept circling everything that seemed interesting to him. Some pages had scratches from Kuro’s claws as the demon cat had gladly joined Rin on his quest to pick up the best spots to visit. “A mission or a vacation – it’s all the same thing for me!”

The Exwires were accompanying the exorcists from the Tokyo branch of the True Cross Order to assist the Kyoto field office in protecting something called the Right Eye of the Impure King. A few days earlier, someone had attacked the Kyoto base, trying to steal the said demonic relic. Fortunately, the attempt had been a failure and the eye had been recovered. However, the Tokyo branch had not been as lucky. While the Kyoto branch had been busy trying to protect the Right Eye, an unidentified intruder had broken into the deep keep of the Tokyo base and stolen the Left Eye. The assailant had been assisted by Saburota Tōdō, the traitorous warden of the deep keep.

Now the top brass feared the enemy would try to target the Kyoto office again, thus their impromptu mission.

“I don’t think Kyoto is that special, to be honest”, Renzō commented from the aisle seat between Rin and Konekomaru. 

“That’s because you’ve lived there all your life, dumbass”, Izumo replied from her seat in front of Renzō and next to Shiemi. Rin couldn’t see her expression from behind her, but he was sure she was rolling his eyes. “I guess it’d be nice to visit Fushimi Inari Shrine, if we have time.”

“It’s my first time outside of Tokyo, too”, Shiemi’s voice could be heard from next to Izumo. She had gotten a lot more confident in her interactions lately, but her voice still held some shyness behind it. “I don’t know about any places, but there are some sweets I’d like to try.”

The girls’ words prompted some stupid comments from Renzō, which quickly led into a short spat between Izumo and Renzō. 

Rin didn’t pay them much attention, as he let his eyes carefully slide over to Ryūji sitting in the window seat next to Konekomaru. Ryūji had been quiet ever since boarding the train – he didn’t seem to pay any attention to the conversations around him and instead kept staring out of the window, deep in his thoughts. The only time he seemed to be even remotely present, was when Shura and the exorcists were briefing them about the mission. One could expect that kind of behavior from Rin. But from Ryūji? Never. It was clear something on their mission was bothering the guy.

Though, not everything on Ryūji’s strange behavior could be pinned on their current mission – Rin was sure it had already been going on for some time. Ever since the training camp, to be precise.

It had been almost a month since the disastrous mission that had exposed Rin to the Vatican and had almost claimed the lives of his classmates. By some miracle, despite losing control and burning down half of the forest, he had managed to keep his secret from his friends. He didn’t know what he’d do if they knew how he had messed up. It was bad enough that he had been reminded of his shortcomings every time he laid his eyes on Ryūji’s bruised neck or Konekomaru’s cast, or heard Renzō’s breath hitch in pain. Technically, he knew none of those injuries were caused directly by him or his flames, but he knew that without him, Amaimon would never have shown up.

The physical injuries might have been almost healed, but the mental scars were more difficult to get rid of. The Exwires still got somewhat skittish whenever they were reminded of the training camp – understandably so. As for Rin himself, the guilt for almost killing his friends hadn’t eased up at all. After seeing the destruction he was capable of, he had gotten scared of his own powers. He had started getting regular nightmares of burning flesh and painful screams. Summoning his flames had gotten more difficult, and unsheathing Kurikara had become borderline impossible. He hadn’t managed to do that even once since the camping trip.

And Ryūji? He had been behaving very strangely ever since. He seemed to be deep in thoughts and kept glancing at Rin so much that Rin had started to suspect he knew something. Had he seen Rin in the middle of the sea of hellfire? Had rumors from the Vatican finally reached him? Or had he just figured everything out on his own? Rin wouldn’t be any surprised if that was the case – Ryūji was smart like that.

But whatever it was, it was making Rin worried.

“How about you Bon?” he called over the aisle and the row of seats, wanting to include Ryūji in their conversation. “What’s your favourite place in Kyoto?”

"Shouldn't you guys focus on the mission at hand before making any vacation plans?” Ryūji’s reply was instantaneous. His voice was distant but also somewhat annoyed. His eyes did not stray from the passing countryside outside. Rin understood there was something in Ryūji’s mind, but he couldn’t deny that such a cold reply stung.

“Aw, don’t mind him, Okumura”, Renzō said, in a sympathetic tone. “He’s just worried about Myōdha. And his old man. We heard Ossama had collapsed during the attack. These two, they really didn’t part on the best terms, you know. ”

“Shut it, Shima.”

Renzō only rolled his eyes and laughed at Ryūji’s grumpiness. Then he leaned halfway over the aisle, towards Rin, and stage whispered: “His favourite place is obviously his old man’s temple. Spent most of his childhood there listening to Ossama's chanting.”

“Really? Do you think we can visit?”

“I’m not sure”, Renzō replied, shrugging, before leaning back on his seat. “It’s all the way up the mountains, and only Ossama goes up there nowadays. And technically, no one but the high priest is allowed in the Goma hall – that’s kinda the center of the old temple.”

“Aw, that’s too bad”, Rin said. In truth, he wasn’t really interested in temples – he liked trendy places like Kyoto Tower more. But for some reason, a place important to Ryūji had piqued his interest.

The sounds inside the train got suddenly muffled as the train entered a tunnel, making the pressure build up in his ears. As if the train was draped with thick dark curtains, the windows turned into something akin to black glass. In one of such temporary mirrors, Rin could see Ryūji’s eyes on him. But as soon as their gazes met, Ryūji startled and turned his head away. Rin wasn’t sure if it was just a trick of light, but he was pretty sure he saw the tips of Ryūji’s ears turning red.

Ryūji should have known. 

Considering his family’s connection to Myōō Dharani and True Cross, it shouldn’t have come as any surprise that the Order would book his mother’s inn for the duration of the mission. But somehow, he had managed to spend the whole journey in denial – even when the bus had turned to a street in a very familiar neighborhood he still hadn’t considered the possibility.

And now he was standing in front of his mother, listening to her berating his hair and his classmates snickering behind him. His face burned as he fought the urge to leave the group and lock himself into his room.

Couldn’t his mother get any more embarrassing? 

He had been on edge ever since he had heard about the trouble at the Kyoto field office and his father’s collapse. Despite being incredibly disappointed with the old drunkard of a monk, he still worried. But the stress was getting to him, and he felt like he aged years with each stressful day. Not to mention, he had no idea what to do about his newfound feelings towards Rin. His heart and mind were in a constant conflict, fighting over whether he should confess or forget.

Everything had gotten so confusing lately.

The visit to Yaozō Shima did little to lower his stress levels, and it only managed to turn any worry he had felt for his father into smoldering anger. For a moment he had let himself hope that his departure for True Cross Academy had done something to his father. That the old man had finally gotten a grip of himself and started to attend his duties to the Myōdha. But no, apparently he had only been at the field office by chance during the attack and had literally been scared off his feet. Everything was just as it had been before he left – like it had been almost his whole life.

As the day progressed, Ryūji’s stress levels just kept increasing. He had to break off a fight between the Shimas and Hōjōs, which made the tensions within the sect pretty clear. And all time he kept wondering where his deadbeat father had holed himself into. Would it be too much to ask for the old man to take some responsibility and try to unify the Myōdha once again? But no one had seen Tatsuma all day, and Ryūji started wondering if his father was avoiding everyone – especially his only son – on purpose.

Even the manual work his mother had put him into didn’t help to ease his mind. Instead, as his hands worked, his mind was free to wander and, unfortunately, spiral. The irritation and heat were making his head throb, like a pulsating metal cuff had been wrapped around his head. The pain was getting more intense, and eventually he had to sit down on the edge of the engawa. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temples, trying to empty his mind and will the headache away in vain. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had sat huddled there, silently suffering, when suddenly something cold pressed against his hand.

“Here”, he heard Rin saying softly next to him. He cracked one of his eyes open and looked at one of the sources of his headache. Rin was standing on the wooden planks, holding a bottle of water in one of his outstretched hands and some pills in the other. There was a concerned look on his face, and he was still wearing his demon cat familiar like some ridiculous hat. “I asked your mom for some painkillers. Hope these are okay.”

Ryūji accepted the water and medicine, and gave Rin a small nod as a thank you. The water felt refreshing and he could almost feel the pain fading away, even though he knew the pills never worked that fast.

“Thanks”, he finally said.

“It’s nothing”, Rin replied and sat down next to Ryūji. Too close, if you asked him. Their shoulders were only a few centimeters apart and he could almost feel the heat radiating from Rin’s skin. His own body heated as a response to Rin’s proximity, and he really hoped no one would notice the red hue on his face. “How are you doing?”

“Just peachy, as you can see”, he retorted, a tad too much bite in his words, which made him pause for a moment. “Sorry. I’ve just got a lot in my mind.”

His father. The Myōō Dharani. Rin. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really, no.”

Rin hummed, and they set into a comfortable silence. But Ryūji felt restless. His head was still bounding, and with the target of his affections so close, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander.

For the past month he had really, really tried to ignore his feelings towards Rin. But despite his best efforts, that seemed nearly impossible. It was like the realization of his feelings in the aftermath of the disastrous training camp had only managed to fuel them, setting the mere embers ablaze. He had become hyperaware of Rin’s presence. He kept catching himself staring at Rin whenever he thought the other didn’t notice. He hung on every word exiting from Rin’s mouth, his eyes lingering on the lips a bit too long. He got uncharasteristically jealous whenever Rin showed any affection to Shiemi, even though he knew the girl was obviously crushing on Yukio, Rin’s twin brother.

He had it bad and there was nothing he could do about it. Not as long as he intended to inherit his father’s temple. The bloodline must be continued, the words kept repeating in his mind like some sacred mantra.

“Oh, I met your dad earlier”, Rin suddenly broke the silence. Ryūji felt himself tensing up, which did little to dull the throb in his head. The anger he had forgotten for a few minutes, rose its ugly head again, and his fingers crushed the half empty plastic bottle in his hand. “He seemed nice. Wouldn’t have guessed he’s your dad, though.”

He gave Rin a side-eyed glance. “What, you didn’t expect the head priest to be an old drunkard?”

“It’s not that. My old man was a pretty worldly priest himself. Immoral even”, Rin replied and shook his head with a melancholic smile on his lips. 

Was? Ryūji didn’t dare to ask. Rin never talked about his and Yukio’s parents, so he figured it was a sore subject.

“I just expected your dad to be… ruffer. Cooler. A bit like you.”

Blood rushed to Ryūji’s face at Rin’s too sincere words, and he had to turn his head away to hide his embarrassing reaction.

“What are you talking about? I’m not cool”, he stammered, hoping Rin didn’t pick up the flustered tone in his voice. 

Rin gave him an incredulous look. “Have you seen yourself? Of course you are. You’re near the top of my list, you know.”

“What the hell, Okumura?” he asked, not even wanting to know what Rin meant by a list. “More importantly, where did you meet him? I’ve been trying to get hold of him the whole day, but the old bastard keeps slipping away!”

“It was right after our arrival. He brought watermelons for the patients, had me slice them… and ran away.”

Ryūji exhaled slowly through his nose. Somehow, he wasn’t even surprised. It had been hours since then, so his father must have gone to the temple. He briefly wondered whether Shura would allow him to take a few hours off to go up there.

His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by someone calling for Rin.

“Looks like the duty calls”, Rin said, stood up and gave himself a few stretches. Ryūji tried not to stare. “Will you be okay?”

“Yeah. The pain is already fading. Thanks.”

Rin flashed him a bright smile that made his heart leap. “It was nothing, really. See you later!”

With that, Rin was gone.

Ryūji kept sitting still for a few additional moments, sipping the water from the crumbled bottle and waiting for his heart to calm down. Once his face wasn’t burning anymore and his pulse had returned to a more manageable level, he finally stood up. The headache wasn’t entirely gone, but it had dulled enough for him to move around.

It was time to get back to work.

The last time Rin had gotten drunk with alcohol was months before Father Fujimoto’s death. He didn’t even remember what had prompted the decision – most likely he had been fighting with the old man and in his anger, had decided to rely on the unhealthier upwinding methods. In other words, he had raided Shirō’s alcohol cabinet, stolen all his beer and left the monastery to get drunk on his own.

A foster son of a priest emptying the said priest’s beer stash – it sounded almost like the start of some stupid joke.

It goes without saying that Shirō hadn’t been very happy when Rin eventually staggered home and puked all over their bathroom. The next morning, the man had dragged the hangover Rin from his bed and made him clean every bathroom in the monastery. With a pounding headache and a dizzying nausea that turned out to be almost an overwhelming chore, and one might think he had learnt his lesson. 

Except he hadn’t, not really.

That’s how, over a half a year later, he found himself sitting in the garden belonging to Ryūji’s parents’ inn, a fresh bento box on his lap and the familiar tingle of alcohol in his mouth. It didn’t need a genius to figure out what had happened – Shura had obviously mixed the drinks and accidentally given them her own weird cocktail stuff. For a moment he considered pouring the contents to the ground. He didn’t know what kind of effects alcohol would have on his awakened demon powers, if any.

Unfortunately, Rin wasn’t known for making wise choices. 

Surely one drink can’t hurt, he thought and took another sip. It would be an awful waste of alcohol and money to just throw it away, wouldn’t it? 

To his relief, alcohol didn’t seem to be affecting his demon side or vice versa. He was quite sure Yukio and Shura would have hated to try to explain his drunken rampage to the Vatican. 

He ended up downing the whole can, and with the nice buzz in his head he engaged in some banter with Renzō who had remained sitting with him in the garden. He had no idea where the girls were, but Konekomaru had gone to visit his family’s graves, and Ryūji had grumpily stalked off to eat alone after Shura had refused his request to go see his father at the temple. Rin had found his eyes following Ryūji’s retreating back, while worry crept into his mind. He was sure the guy was about to have a stroke from all the stress his family and Myōdha was putting him through.

After finishing his meal, Rin bid Renzō a goodnight and started to make his way towards his room. His legs were slightly unsteady but he still managed to walk relatively straight – it was nothing like the staggering he had done during his last time of drinking. The way back to his room was not very long, so he took his time, walking slowly through the gardens and enjoying the crisp night air. The alcohol had managed to silence the troubling thoughts constantly plaguing his mind, and he wanted to enjoy the tranquility while it lasted.

He was just passing the Suguro family wing when he noticed a person huddled on the engawa. He recognized the two-toned hair immediately and rushed closer.

“Bon?” he called in a quiet voice and reached to shake his friend’s shoulder. “You okay there?”

The only reply he got was incoherent drunken mumbling and a weak swipe at his hand. He couldn’t hold the snort in as he realized Ryūji had also fallen victim to Shura’s mix-up. Despite his larger size, Ryūji seemed to have a quite poor tolerance to alcohol.

“C’mon, Grumpy Bear, let’s get you to the bed”, Rin said while throwing Ryūji’s arm over his shoulders and hauled the semi-conscious boy to his feet. The moment Ryūji’s warm body made contact with him, his heart rate started picking up, making him freeze on his tracks. Heat creeped on his face and ears as he became hyper aware of the movements of Ryūji’s chest and the warm puffs of air caressing his exposed skin. Ryūji’s familiar scent of incense and citrusy soap filled his senses, and probably due to his slight intoxication, that evening it felt stronger than usual.

Rin swallowed with some difficulty. His mouth had suddenly gone very, very dry.

Ryūji’s legs didn’t seem to support him and he slumped with his whole weight against Rin’s side. That made Rin snap back to the present and to the task at the hand. He fixed his hold on Ryūji, pulling the guy tighter against his side and, ignoring the heat on his face, started making his way towards Ryūji’s room. 

As they staggered along the wooden planks, Rin was really glad for his demonic strength. It was also a good thing they had been roped into helping around the inn. He didn’t remember locations of many rooms, but for some reason, the location of Ryūji’s room had etched into his memory despite being there only once. The walk there was quite short, but of course it took longer while supporting the drunkenly stumbling guy.

Ryūji’s room was so different from Rin’s own before moving to the True Cross Academy. The room looked more practical than personal. It was spotless, the bed was neatly made and not a single piece of trash to be seen – as expected from a neat freak like Ryūji Suguro. Unlike Rin’s room back at the monastery, Ryūji’s walls were void of any posters or personal decorations. The bookcase and the stationery on the desk were neatly organized, not a single item out of place. 

Rin was so busy looking around, that he didn’t notice Ryūji shifting in his hold until he found himself pressed against the wall.

“Bon, wh–”

“Rin. Warm. Smell good”, Ryūji slurred and nuzzled his face closer to Rin’s neck while keeping Rin trapped between his body and the wall. His body was hot against Rin’s, their chests slotting perfectly together. His arm was still wrapped around Rin’s shoulders, while the other one had lowered to Rin’s side. His gentle fingers ran smoothly over the bumps caused by Rin’s hidden tail, sending tremors along Rin’s spine, and as a response, the tail coiled even tighter around Rin’s stomach.

Rin didn’t have time to worry about his tail getting possibly discovered, because his brain had basically short-circuited. He could only feel the hot breaths and touches on his skin, smell Ryūji and hear his own racing heart and the surging blood in his veins. His breathing had gotten labored, and his whole body tingled from the physical contact. His fingers curled around the fabric on Ryūji’s back. 

He was so confused. Had the alcohol seriously messed up with Ryūji’s mind, making him mistake Rin for some girl? Who coincidentally had the same name as him? Besides, he had been working the whole day, in hot and humid conditions. How could Ryūji possibly think his sweaty and grimy body smelled good? Had the alcohol destroyed his sense of smell as well?

“Bon…? What are you doing?”

Instead of replying immediately, Ryūji lifted his hand to Rin’s face, gently caressing his jawline, cheek and lips. Then he lifted his head from Rin’s shoulder, pressed their foreheads together, and peered down to Rin with hazy, half-lidded eyes.

“Rin. May I… kiss you?” 

Rin’s mind went blank.

“What?”

For a moment he wondered if he had heard correctly. But feeling Ryūji’s hot breaths on his skin and thumb gliding over his lower lip, he had a hard time convincing himself otherwise. Which left him with the questions of why and how. Why would Ryūji want to kiss him of all the people? Was it just drunken Ryūji talking or had the other been harboring some kind of deeper feelings towards Rin?

“You don’t ‘ave to if you don’t wanna”, Ryūji continued, words coming out as a quiet mumble. He was slightly swaying on his feet and had to lean on the wall for support. 

Afraid the other would keel over at any moment, Rin tightened his hold on Ryūji’s back. The two actions combined unintentionally pressed their chests tighter together, and Rin couldn’t stop the sharp inhale at the sudden increase in the pressure. Unfortunately, this filled his nose with another batch of Ryūji’s scent, making his poor, overworked heart jolt and switch to overdrive. Rin didn’t think it could beat any faster, but there he was, on the verge of a heart attack.

It took him a few moments to regain his composure. It was difficult to hear his own thoughts over his racing heart, and his laborious breathing made it hard to speak. Once calm enough, he swallowed with some difficulty, wet his lips and met Ryūji’s hazy gaze.

“Do– do you really want to?”

Ryūji hummed in response, his head slightly nodding against Rin’s.

Under his shirt, Rin’s tail trembled and then coiled tighter around his midsection. His whole body was hot and mouth dry. His palms were clammy as he lifted his shaky hands to Ryūji’s face. The skin flushed under his touch, and the short stubble felt sharp under his fingertips. 

Of course, he had found Ryūji insanely attractive from day one. Despite the lingering grief and all the revelations on that very first day at the cram school, the delinquent look had immediately managed to grab his attention. And later, when he had gotten to know the guy, his wit, his ambitions and his righteousness, Rin couldn’t help but start admiring him. And for the longest time that’s what he thought those feelings were – just simple admiration and respect, or even a small temporary crush – nothing more. 

But now, having his body pressed against Ryūji’s and having Ryūji’s lips mere centimeters from his own, he realized it was not just platonic admiration. He wanted more. So much more than just friendship.

Rin knew he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. Logically, he knew he should have thought about his secrets and the consequences of getting himself involved with someone while having a figurative axe hanging above his neck. Not to mention that Ryūji might actually regret their actions in the morning.

So, he really, really shouldn’t.

Maybe it was the exhaustion from working all day or the alcohol buzzing in his head. But nevertheless, he let himself yield. His body relaxed in Ryūji’s hold, breaths heavy and heart racing. Blood rushed in his veins as he let his eyes fall on Ryūji’s soft-looking lips. Then he lifted his gaze to meet the hazy brown eyes and nodded slowly. 

“I–”, he started, but paused to swallow. He closed his eyes. “Alright.”

A pleased hum left Ryūji’s throat as his fingers found Rin’s chin again and lifted his face upwards. By the increasing pressure against his chest, Rin could tell Ryūji was leaning even closer. The hot, alcohol-tinged breaths ghosted over his face, making his skin prickle. The air was full of Ryūji’s scent.

But just as their lips were about to meet, Ryūji swayed on his feet, and the fingers holding Rin’s chin went slack. His lips brushed briefly – and probably unintentionally – against Rin’s cheek and ear as his head lolled to the side and landed on Rin’s shoulder, face nuzzled against Rin’s flushed, exposed neck. Then Ryūji stumbled, and slumped with his whole body weight against Rin. 

Rin’s eyes flew open as he scrambled to support the sudden weight in his arms. 

As quiet snores started filling the dark room, Rin could only hold Ryūji tight, and stare at the opposite wall in bewilderment.

What?

Chapter Text

“I don’t remember much from last night. Somehow I got drunk and fell asleep”, Ryūji muttered groggily while sipping his tea. His other hand kept rubbing his temple in slow circles, and he really looked like he had seen better mornings. “What kind of a shitty teacher gives alcohol to her underage charges, anyways?”

The four of them, the Kyoto trio and Rin, were seated around a breakfast table in the dining hall of the inn. The spacious room was filled with rows of low tables full of trays holding ready-made breakfast dishes consisting of rice, soups, vegetables, eggs and fish. The air was thick with the delicious smell of food. The back wall was dominated by big glass panes blurring the boundary between the lush outside garden and the cozy insides of the inn. As the unobstructed natural light kept pouring in, it almost seemed like they were sitting outside. There weren’t many guests present at the moment, but even the handful of people were enough to fill the space with quiet chatter, laughing and clinking of the chopsticks against the dishes.

While Renzō and Konekomaru were having a completely normal morning, both Ryūji and Rin were definitely feeling the aftereffects of Shura’s mix-up.

Renzō let out an amused laugh from his seat opposite Rin. “Must have been pretty strong stuff. Good thing I didn’t have any”, he said and turned to Rin. “How about you, Okumura?”

“Huh?” Rin didn’t register Renzō’s words at first. He had been too busy staring at Ryūji seated also on the other side of the table.

“I mean, you had some too. Did you make it back to your room okay?”

“Oh! Yeah, I think”, his eyes slid back to Ryūji for a moment. He swallowed heavily. “I– I don’t really remember.”

As Renzō bursted into laughter again, Rin kept eyeing Ryūji. He wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination, but he was rather certain that, despite the hangover induced pallor, there was some redness on Ryūji’s face and especially on his ears. The guy was also obviously avoiding Rin’s gaze as he hadn’t met Rin’s eyes once during the breakfast. He tried not to think about it too much. 

In truth, Rin hadn’t been so drunk he couldn’t remember what had almost happened the previous night. On the contrary, the images were quite vivid in his memory. But, he really didn’t feel like sharing with the rest of the group. Especially if Ryūji didn’t remember. Or didn’t want to remember. 

Maybe it was better that way, he mused as he returned to pushing his food around with his chopsticks. Waking up that morning, finally sober after the restless night, he had realized how catastrophic the situation had almost gotten. With his secret demon heritage and the possible execution, he really had no business in getting involved with anyone – especially with Ryūji Suguro who hated Satan with all his being.

The thought sent an uncomfortable twinge through his heart.

Despite trying not to dwell on the events of the night, he couldn’t stop himself from wondering what, exactly, had been going through drunken Ryūji’s mind. Had it all been just a curious drunken whim or were there deeper feelings in the play? If it was the latter, Ryūji was damn good at hiding his infatuation because Rin hadn’t noticed anything. Well, if you didn’t count the weird looks he had gotten recently. He had thought Ryūji was suspecting something, but what if the stares meant something else?

He stole another glance at the guy, his eyes lingering on his lips maybe a bit too long. 

His own feelings were also a confusing mess. Before the previous night, he had never dared to address his budding crush before. But after a few, rather intimate, touches from Ryūji, his heart and mind were suddenly on a warpath against each other. He had tried to explain his easy yielding under Ryūji’s caress by alcohol, but it was difficult to convince himself when everything remained so clearly in his mind. Because ever since he had put Ryūji to bed and snuck back to his room, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the warm body pressing against him, the hot breaths on his skin, the electric touches, and the intoxicating scent. 

His face flushed at the memory, and he had to turn his eyes back to his rice bowl. His mouth had suddenly gone dry. His tail trembled and coiled tighter around him. The short hairs stood up and brushed against his bare skin underneath his shirt.

There was no denying it anymore. No, he really wouldn’t mind kissing Ryūji, even when sober. On the contrary, he had found out he’d like that very, very much. He really wouldn’t mind becoming something more than friends. But that was probably just wishful thinking, reserved for another life without secrets, demons and Satan. 

In the current one, he was not in a proper place to date anyone. And he probably never would be.

He let out a deep, melancholic sigh, and only then he noticed that while he had been wallowing in his thoughts, Ryūji and Konekomaru had already finished eating and were starting to leave for the Myōdha meeting. He had totally missed the rest of their conversation, but since no one had bothered to call him out for it, he figured he hadn’t probably missed anything important. 

The duo was bidding the rest of them a quick goodbye when Rin’s and Ryūji’s eyes finally met. It took all of Rin’s willpower to keep his face from flushing bright red, and by the slight blush on Ryūji’s cheeks and ears, he could tell the other was struggling with a similar ailment. However, too soon the moment was over, and Ryūji turned to leave.

Rin’s eyes followed longingly at Ryūji’s retreating back, until a stifled laugh from the other side of the table reminded him he was not alone.

“What?”

“Nothing”, Renzō said with a sly smirk on his face. “I was about to suggest we’d invite the girls to the pool, but it seems you already have your eye on someone else.”

Rin groaned and hid his heated face behind his hands.

Fortunately, he didn’t have time to feel mortified about getting caught staring or thinking Ryūji half-naked at the pool as their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Renzō’s brothers Jūzō and Kinzō. Not a long after, Shura, who seemed to blame them for her own mix-up, dragged him to another frustrating training session on the roof.

It had been almost a month since Shura had him lighting the candles for the first time. At first, the training sessions had ended up with a disaster. The candles melted into puddles and sometimes he managed to burn the surrounding area as well. Every time something like that happened, he was reminded of his loss of control during the training camp, and that really didn’t boost his confidence. Maybe it was due to both the frustration and fear of his own powers that it took almost two weeks for him to figure out he needed to light only the damn wick of the candle.

After that, it got somewhat easier but not much. Most of the time, he still had trouble summoning his flames – either he couldn’t do it at all or he managed to summon a blue firestorm that consumed everything around him. And he still couldn’t draw his sword. Even the mere thought about unleashing his demon side made his hands shake and refuse to separate the sword from the scabbard. 

By the rate the things were progressing, he had some serious doubts about passing the Exorcist qualification exam within the deadline.

“It’s one of those days again, isn’t it”, Shura commented from where she was laying and sipping her alcohol. The candles laid in three molten pools between them, the runny stearin slowly flowing down in between the roof tiles. “I thought we were past this already.”

“Shut up”, Rin grumbled and crouched to pick up a new trio of candles. He could feel Kuro’s worried gaze on him, but decided not to acknowledge it either. “I’m just having an off day. It happens.”

Especially on days he realized he had been crushing on his classmate and friend. Not that he would ever tell that to Shura.

“That's no excuse. You should be able to control your powers even on these so-called off-days, you know. Do you think the Vatican really cares whether you had a bad day or not if you lose control?”

“Don’t I know that!” Rin snapped and, in frustration, kicked one of the candles off the roof. To his horror, it burst into flames mid-flight, looking like a small blue meteorite falling from the sky. Already seeing his own execution in his mind for burning down the Suguro family inn, he jumped off the roof and dove after the candle.

Fortunately, no one seemed to catch his potentially dangerous slip-up. The garden below was surprisingly quiet considering most of them were having a day off from the chores. Maybe everyone had truly gone to the pool, he thought longingly while cursing his certain demonic features that prevented him from joining the others. If it hadn’t been for his tail immediately outing him as a demon, he surely would have found a way to ditch Shura and escape the heat into the cool embrace of the chlorinated water.

Just as he was about to climb back to the roof, his eyes landed on what seemed to be rows of tombstones tucked into the far back corner of the garden. At first, he wondered why an inn would have a graveyard in the first place, but then he figured they were probably the graves of Ryūji’s mom’s ancestors. That was until he spotted someone with a small frame and bald head standing in front of the tombstones, head bowed, hands pressed together and lips moving with a silent prayer.

Konekomaru.

Clearly, some of the graves belonged to Konekomaru’s family as well. Which shouldn't come as any surprise considering the connection between the families.

Rin’s chest tightened uncomfortably, and he turned away, deciding to give the young head of the Miwa family some privacy. Lately, his thoughts had been plagued by Ryūji and his likely bad reaction to his heritage. But seeing Konekomaru in front of the graves of people killed during the Blue Night reminded him of the fact that others had lost loved ones to Satan as well. Konekomaru had lost his whole family and Renzō his older brother.

His fingers tightened around the half-melted candle. The soft stearin was warm against his skin.

Could they ever be okay with his heritage or powers, he wondered. Could they ever see past Satan’s flames and see him as their friend and not as some extension of Satan? Logically, he knew he really couldn’t be blamed by Satan’s actions, but he also knew the people tended to throw all logic out of the window when it came to strong feelings. And it was not all Satan – they had witnessed first-hand what him losing control could do. How could they ever trust him or his powers after what happened during the training camp?

The candle deformed under his grip. 

He had to learn better control. If his heritage was ever to be revealed, he needed ways to show them he was not dangerous. That was the only way he could even hope for their acceptance. And even that might not be enough.

He could only train and hope for the best.

When he finally made it back to the roof, the new determination in his posture and the now crushed candle in his hand, Shura gave him a long, disapproving look. “Have you finally calmed down?” 

Rin never got a chance to reply as a loud boom shook the whole neighbourhood. A thick plume of smoke could be seen rising a few blocks away, from the direction of the Kyoto field office. Not wasting any time pondering, Shura beckoned him to follow and took off towards the source of the explosions.

The field office was in chaos. The exorcists rushed around, and someone was barking orders, trying to force some sense of order into the mayhem. From the shouts around them, Rin could decipher that someone had attacked the keep below the buildings. Shura seemed to know the way down as she took a sharp turn and led him into a narrow stairway. They basically jumped down the stairs, deep into the underground, until they arrived into a vast chamber that reminded Rin more of a cave. The ceiling had collapsed due to the attack and the platforms located in the middle of the keep were full of rubble.

Whoever had attacked the base, was long gone.

In the middle of it all stood Ryūji Suguro, holding the robes of his father in a white-knuckled grip. The muscles on his body were rigid as steel, the tension showing especially on his flustered face. A vein pulsed on his forehead right above his furrowed brows, and his jaw muscles were taut as he gritted his teeth together with a bone-crushing force. One could almost see the smoke rising from his ears. His sharp words echoed through the cave as he kept criticizing his father of the secrets the man was supposedly keeping. The exorcists stood around the pair, silently observing but looking a bit too curious as well. 

As the spat continued, Rin felt something tightening in his gut. The whole thing was starting to sound too much like his and his father’s last fight.

“...I will no longer recognize you as my father!” 

With those words, Rin was plunged into his own memories. He remembered berating his own father in such a similar manner. Back then he had been in denial, his brain couldn’t fathom what was going on. Demons? Satan? Gehenna? Had his father lost it? Had he just gotten tired of Rin and decided it was time to throw him out?

“Don’t ever pretend to be my father again!”

He remembered denouncing the man who had raised him. He remembered Satan appearing. He remembered his father’s suicide.

Above all, he remembered the guilt and grief he still carried to that day.

The world around him seemed to narrow, and his body started to move on its own. Just like that, he stood there, holding Tatsuma in place with trembling hands and facing Ryūji. Everything around the three of them blurred together. He couldn’t understand either of them. Why was Tatsuma trying to brush his son off like that? And how could Ryūji say such poisonous words to someone dear to him? Didn’t he see he might regret them some day?

Maybe it was the resurfacing guilt and grief or his confusing feelings that had been plaguing him all morning, but suddenly he felt so angry and disappointed. To see someone dear to him repeating his stupid mistakes and throwing something so precious away had filled his whole body with scorching fire. His heart bounded and blood rushed in his veins. 

His father’s last gurgling breaths rang in his ears as his fist connected with Ryūji’s cheek.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but you’ll regret your words later!” he yelled at Ryūji as the other sat up from where he had landed and spit out a bloody blob. If Rin hadn’t been so agitated, he probably would have felt bad for his actions. “Now apologize!”

“Shut up! This is none of your fucking business, Okumura!” Ryūji growled back while wiping the blood off his face and standing up. His eyes were burning in anger for both Rin and Tatsuma, and Rin felt a twinge in his heart. He did not like being the target of such a look, not even the slightest bit.

But he was too far gone in his memories and own agitation to dwell on it.

“I won’t stand by and watch you being a fucking idiot, Suguro! You can’t disown your own father!” his voice was starting to dip into a demonic gnarl as he tried to reason with Ryūji one more time. This made Ryūji pause long enough for Tatsuma to step in.

“Now, now, Rin and Ryūji, no need to fight”, the priest said while standing between them, arms lifted in a placating gesture. “Go on and make up, okay?”

But Ryūji was not having any of it.

“Get lost and never come back!” he snapped at Tatsuma.

Something sunk inside of Rin and he could only stare in disbelief. Why didn’t Ryūji get it? How couldn’t he get it? The dull ache within his chest turned back into a furious heat, and his flames started smouldering under his skin, begging to be let free. And he almost did. If he hadn’t had trouble summoning his flames that day, he probably would have set himself aflame right there, secrets be damned.

But instead, he sidestepped Tatsuma and went for another punch. If Ryūji refused to listen to him, maybe he could pound some sense into the thick skull of his. However, this time Ryūji was ready for the attack, and managed to summon a shield between them. Rin’s fist slammed against the golden barrier with so much force that Ryūji had to take a step back. 

Somewhere behind him, Rin could hear Shura’s voice yelling at him, telling him to calm down.

“Someday, it’ll be too late and you will regret all this!” he hissed between clenched teeth and hit the shield again. His eyes never left Ryūji’s, so as the barrier gave up, he could momentarily see Ryūji’s eyes widening in something akin to fear. But instead of landing another punch, his fingers curled in Ryūji’s shirt and he pulled the other closer. He could feel the wetness on his cheeks. “You’re not stupid. You gotta see that, right?”

Ryūji didn’t answer. Instead he kept staring Rin with a wide-eyed, unreadable look on his face.

“Right?” Rin repeated, desperation starting to lace his words.

“Rin, that’s enough!” Shura was suddenly there, prying his fingers from Ryūji’s shirt and pulling him away. “Don’t make me knock you out!”

“Piss off, hag!” Rin growled and struggled free from her grip. “I’m having an important conversation here!”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, as he suddenly felt scorching pain in the base of his tail. The damn bracelet, he thought as he howled in agony, and dropped to the floor. His ears rang and for a moment, he could only see white. The last thing he heard before the darkness sank its talons into his mind were Kuro and Ryūji calling his name.

“It’s fortunate you have gained some control of your flames, Rin”, Mephisto was saying while parading along the solitary confinement block. The sharp sound of his heels clacking against the concrete floor bounced off the walls and echoed through the empty corridors even after he had stopped in front of the wooden bars of Rin’s cell. “Had you flared up back there, I’m sure you would have been sentenced to death.” 

The clown had appeared moments after Yukio had finished reading the letter that Tatsuma had managed to slip into Shura’s back pocket before disappearing in the middle of the chaos in the keep.

“So, he’s free to go?” Yukio’s voice did not betray any feelings. He was still holding the letter in his hands, fingers grasping the paper a bit too tightly. He had arrived at the field office shortly after Shura had knocked Rin out. It goes without mentioning he had not been too happy to find his twin brother locked in a cell.

“For the time being, yes”, Mephisto confirmed and turned his piercing green eyes to Rin. Instead of disappointment or even anger, they seemed to sparkle in slight amusement that didn’t seem entirely appropriate for the situation. With a quick snap of fingers, the bolt of the wooden door slid off and the door swung open. “Though, you should note they’re considering this the strike one. They might not allow a second relapse in judgement, so take care to regulate your emotions better the next time.” His eyes then slid to Shura. “And they’d appreciate it if Ms. Kirigakure here didn’t use the imprisonment spell in vain in the future.”

Rin remained sitting on his cell’s concrete floor, holding the still sheathed Kurikara in his hands. His head spun with guilt about the events in the keep, the revelation of Kurikara’s origins and Tatsuma’s request. The priest had made things sound so easy – he should just go to the Impure King, slice its heart in two and burn it to a crisp. But how could he possibly do that when his anxiety still blocked him from drawing the sword or summoning his flames?

A small voice in the back of his mind also whispered to him that he shouldn’t ever show his sword to anyone, especially to the Kyoto trio, unless he wanted to have an awkward conversation about the sword’s and his own origins. He swallowed heavily and let out a shuddering breath. That would be just another thing to hide and lie about. The secrets just kept piling on top of each other, and he found himself wondering when he would slip up.

Though, he might not get to keep his secrets much longer, he acknowledged in his mind. If he were to overcome his mental hangup and use his powers against the Impure King, he might actually have to reveal himself. He still had no idea what kind of a foe the demon would be, but he was quite certain he couldn’t fight it in secret like head been doing with the other enemies. But could he really do it? Or would he sacrifice hundreds of thousands of people just to keep his heritage hidden?

His fingers tightened around the scabbard, and his chest clenched in shame. What was he thinking? Of course he wouldn’t.

“I’ll do it. I’ll fight the thing”, he said, interrupting the trio discussing the current situation, the letter and the Impure King. “I don’t know how yet, but I’ll find a way.”

Yukio’s eyes snapped to him. “What? Are you insane?” he asked, bewildered. “We don’t even know if your flames are effective against the Impure King! How are you going to protect yourself if you can’t even draw the damn sword?”

“I’ll figure something out”, Rin said, shrugging. He knew Yukio had a point, but he wasn’t selfish enough to sit still while the others fought. “I can still use my flame a little.”

“Absolutely not.” Yukio was unyielding in his refusal. “You just barely avoided the execution and now you want to go on a suicide mission? Have you completely lost it?”

“What difference does it make if it's the whole Kyoto branch or me?” Rin countered while standing up. The concrete floor was cool and damp under his bare feet. He felt somewhat irritated, but knew better not to start anything with Yukio while angry. He would only end up flaring, messing up his words and losing any arguments he was taking part in. “Because if what’s written in the letter is true, that’s what it will be to everyone. A suicide mission!” 

“We don’t know that!”

“What reason would he have to lie?”

“Boys!” Shura interrupted the twins. It was clear she was not in the mood to deal with their quarrel. “This is not the time and place!”

“Ms. Kirigakure is right. If the Impure King gets revived, they’re going to need every exorcist available to contain it”, Mephisto said. “And after the recent incidents, Rin here could use some positive PR for a chance.”

Yukio gave them another incredulous look. “You’re seriously intending to let him fight?”

“It would be a waste not to”, Mephisto answered, not looking the slightest bothered by the topic. “Plus, what kind of an exorcist would sit out an all hands on deck situation?”

Yukio looked like he wanted to continue arguing but couldn’t find any words to do so.

“Yukio”, Rin said, deciding to stop the debate right there. “I can’t stand by and watch others risk their lives if there’s something I can do.”

His brother looked conflicted, but by the simple slough of his shoulders, Rin could tell he was giving up.

“Goddamnit”, Yukio muttered while rubbing the bridge of his nose, and turned back to Rin, a determined look in his eyes. “Okay, fine. But I’ll be accompanying you, don’t ever think about leaving on your own!”

“Alright, alright. It’s not like we even know where Mamushi and Tōdō are taking the eyes”, Rin said, finally leaving the cell and stepping on the corridor. He swung Kurikara on his shoulder, trying to appear calm, but in truth, his heart was hammering in an anxious anticipation. The bruises on his knuckles throbbed, reminding him of his own guilt. “There’s something I need to do first, anyways.”

If it was going to be a suicide mission, he didn’t want to go with regrets. He'd had enough of those for a lifetime.

Ryūji felt hollow. The confrontation with his father had been a total failure – in the aftermath of his fight with Rin, the older man had managed to slip away and chase after Mamushi and Tōdō without revealing anything. The field office was in total chaos after the attack. Since no one knew where the attackers had fled, they could only wait and prepare for the inevitable fight. That applied to the Exwires, too, who could only sit and wait for orders in the quietness of his family’s inn. 

The fire burning in his chest and fueling his anger had snuffed out the moment Shura had knocked Rin unconscious. He didn’t know what kind of a spell she had used, exactly, but he was sure Rin’s painful screams would haunt him in his future nightmares. The shock had rooted him into the place, and he could only watch in despair as Rin’s unconscious form was dragged away. Feeling at least partially responsible for Rin’s agony, he hadn’t been able to do anything about the guilt settling into his stomach.

Sitting on the steps facing the back garden of the inn, far away from the prying eyes of his classmates, he felt he finally had space to breathe. The dusk was starting to settle, painting the buildings, plants and paths with different shades of orange. Dark clouds were gathering in the sky, hinting about an upcoming rain. A gentle breeze brushed against Ryūji’s skin, smelling like crisp mountain air. He briefly wondered how long it would be until the air was filled with the stale smell of rot.

His cheek ached under the ice pack, acting as a constant reminder of Rin and his mean right hook. He shouldn’t have been so surprised that a punch from someone as strong as Rin had managed to send him flying. He actually should be glad he hadn’t broken anything. The pain also reminded him of Rin’s frantic behavior and the desperation in those deep blue eyes. He couldn’t stop wondering what had made Rin act like that.

He couldn’t also stop worrying for his father, who had chased after Mamushi and Tōdō alone. What was wrong with everyone around him? Why did no one seem to rely on their teammates, friends or family? Why did everyone want to go off alone, acting all cool until the shit hit the fan?

His musings were interrupted by creaking of the wooden planks.

“I’m sorry. For hitting you, I mean.” Rin’s voice was quiet, as were his steps as he shuffled closer to Ryūji. He was biting his lower lip and fidgeting with the strap of the sleeve holding his sword. Ryūji hadn’t seen Rin carrying the weapon for a while – the last time must have been during the training camp. Its sudden reappearance felt like a bad omen.

However, seeing Rin standing there, all right despite suffering under Shura’s brutal knockout spell, was enough to drain the tension from Ryūji’s body. His grip on the ice pack slackened, and his shoulders sagged. His heart jolted in his chest and it was not only because of the relief settling in his mind.

“It’s– it’s alright”, he replied. Now that he had had time to cool down, he felt somewhat embarrassed for his outburst earlier. “I might have been overreacting a bit. I see now that you were just trying to help. Sorry about blowing up like that.”

With some hesitance, Rin stepped even closer and finally sat beside him on the steps. His eyes lingered on the bruise and the ice pack on Ryūji’s cheek, the muscles on his neck and chin tensing ever so slightly. He swallowed heavily and turned his gaze away while rubbing his still red knuckles.

“No, it was definitely me who was overreacting. The whole thing reminded me of my last fight with my old man, and I just couldn’t let you make the same mistakes as I did”, Rin said quietly after a moment of silence. “I still shouldn’t have hit you. I’m sorry.”

“Well, it’s not the first time our fights get physical”, Ryūji replied, recalling briefly the fist fights during their earlier days of knowing each other. “But are you okay? Ms. Kirigakure’s spell seemed to affect you pretty badly.”

“Yeah. I probably shouldn’t have called her a hag”, Rin replied, his lips curling slightly upwards.

“Probably not”, Ryūji agreed and paused for a moment, pondering whether he should ask the question burning in his mind. He knew it wasn’t really his business. But the thing seemed to bother Rin, and despite everything, he wanted to help his friend. “May I ask, though? Why did you react like that? What happened between you and your father?”

As if having been expecting Ryūji’s question, Rin’s shoulders sagged and he let out a slow, shuddering exhale. He then gathered his knees against his chest and wrapped his arms around his barefooted legs, curling into a tight ball as if he was trying to comfort himself. There was a distant look in his clouded eyes, like he was seeing something only remaining deep in his memories.

“I guess it has never come up, huh? It’s not like it’s any secret though”, Rin told him, his voice unusually sorrowful. His arms tightened their hold on his knees as he continued: “Me and Yukio, we never knew our biological parents. We were raised by a man named Shirō Fujimoto.”

Ryūji felt his eyebrows rising as the realization dawned on him. He loathed to admit it, but he had often found himself wondering about Rin's ‘special circumstances’. At one point, he had definitely thought that the twins were some privileged rich kids that got into the academy only because of their parents’ money. That definitely would have explained Rin’s careless attitude towards his studies.

But hearing Rin mutter the name of the previous Paladin filled Ryūji with a different kind of realization, one with guilt and shame for even thinking such things. Because surely everyone within the Order had heard about Shirō Fujimoto, the previous Paladin who– who had died earlier that year in strange circumstances.

If the twins’ biological parents weren't in the picture, it would make sense for the Order to take them in after the death of their foster father.

“He was the Paladin before the blonde bastard, but I guess you already knew that”, Rin continued in a quiet voice. Ryūji could tell there was some animosity between Rin and the current Paladin, Arthur Angel, but decided it was not the time to ask. He should focus on only one thing at a time. “The day he died… we fought. I said some hurtful stuff, and because that… he lost his concentration. The next thing I knew, he was possessed by Satan, and then– then he killed himself to protect me.” Rin chuckled miserably. Red rims were starting to form around his wet-looking eyes. “My last words to the man who raised me were basically me disowning him. I never got to apologize.”

The last words came out as a choked sob, and Rin hid his face in his knees. 

“So, when I berated my own father you got reminded of your own”, Ryūji said, the understanding slowly settling in. Even if he hadn’t known, he felt like a huge asshole. Without thinking much about it, he wrapped his free arm around Rin and pulled the boy against his side into a half-hug. “I’m so sorry.”

After a small moment of hesitation, Rin sank against him, wrapping his arms around Ryūji’s body and hiding his tear-stained face into his shirt. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.”

“It still hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Rin only nodded against his chest.

They sat like that for several moments. Rin’s body shook as he clung to Ryūji, the wetness seeping from his face through Ryūji’s shirt. Ryūji stroked Rin’s hair gently, trying not to let his thoughts wander. Despite the inappropriateness of it, he couldn’t stop his heart from racing – ever since realizing his feelings towards Rin, he had yearned to have the other in his arms. It felt natural, like their bodies fit together perfectly. But at the same time he felt a twinge of guilt for thinking about such things while Rin was still mourning his late father. 

He wanted to kick himself. He was trying to comfort his friend, not to indulge his complicated feelings.

When Rin eventually pulled away, his eyes were puffy and face flushed. 

“Fuck. I’m sorry”, he murmured while furiously trying to dry the tears off his face. “I didn’t mean to lay all this on you.”

“It’s alright. I asked, didn’t I?” Ryūji replied. To his shame, he found himself missing the contact already. His hand had dropped from Rin’s head to shoulder, and as Rin didn’t seem to mind, he hesitantly let it lay there. “And don’t worry about Pops and I, we fight all the time, but always make up afterwards. Though, I might have gone a bit overboard this time, you were right about that.“

His fingers started gently stroking Rin’s bare upper arm, and to his surprise, Rin pressed himself closer, leaned his head against his shoulder and let out a quiet hum. “He seems to care about you a lot. I’m sure he has a good reason for all the secrecy.”

With some slight shyness in his movements, Ryūji rested his head against Rin's. The hair felt soft against his burning skin, and he could detect something smoky and sweet lingering on the air around Rin, reminding him of toasted marshmallows and caramelized sweets. 

“I know”, he said and let out a deep sigh, knowing that Rin had a point. It wasn’t like his father would withhold information out of pure malevolence. Negligence and absentmindedness, maybe. But out of ill will? His father wasn’t that kind of a person. “But it is frustrating to see him being so nonchalant about it.”

“Tell me about it”, Rin agreed with a sigh of his own but did not elaborate any further.

They continued sitting on the porch in silence, until their moment was ruined by shouts coming from inside of the inn.

Jūzō had returned with Mamushi.

Mamushi looked pitiful as she covered before the exorcists in the field office, begging them to help Ryūji’s father in the fight against the Impure King. Coughs shook her body as she struggled to stay upright. Her pale skin was spotted with the fungal growth and the right side of her face was covered in blood. Her damaged eye used to carry the demon eye was tightly shut and crusted with blood. The undamaged snakelike eye looked up at Ryūji, full of tears and remorse as she kept apologizing and  fighting to stay conscious.

As Jūzō carried her away, Ryūji found out he really couldn’t be angry at her. Instead, his anger was directed at his father, again. Tōdō had spotted the tension and distrust brewing within the Myōdha, and it probably hadn’t been too difficult to manipulate her by exploiting her dedication to the sect and filling her head with ridiculous stories about Order, Kurikara and Satan’s offsprings. It didn’t matter that his father had not meant something like that to happen. What mattered was that it had happened because of his poor leadership skills and continuous lies. Whatever the reason was for the latter, it surely didn’t justify the destruction of the whole sect, did it?

“Oh, there you are!” Shura’s call suddenly broke the somber silence that had fallen in the lobby after everyone but the Exwires had left to prepare for the fight. “Have any of you seen Rin?”

“Okumura? He’s–”, Ryūji answered and turned to gesture behind him. But instead of Rin, he was met only by an empty corridor. “Wha– he was just here!”

Shura did not look surprised at all. She let out a deep sigh and rubbed the bridge of her nose while muttering something about unruly brats. “When did you see him last?”

“I don’t know. He did come with us, didn’t he?” Ryūji replied and looked at the others for confirmation. A series of nods followed his words. A heavy feeling set into his chest. “Maybe he went to the bathroom or something?”

His voice was uncertain, reflecting the doubt in his mind. He knew it was probably only wistful thinking, but he truly hoped that once in his life Rin had used his brain and stayed out of the trouble. That he had gone somewhere completely normal like the bathroom or his mother’s kitchen. And definitely not up to the–

Shura shook her head slowly, crashing his hopes and confirming his fears in the process. “I don’t think so.”

As the unwelcome realization settled inside of his mind, he was filled with both dread and exasperation. Of course Rin wouldn’t be able to stay still when there was a threat he thought he could handle better than a whole branch of trained exorcists. Of course Rin wouldn’t spare a thought for his own wellbeing or his teammates and their worries while rushing towards the danger on his own. Once again. 

Of course Rin had gone off to the Kongō Shinzan, to fight the impure King all alone. 

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly through his nose, trying to calm himself. It was strange how his feelings fluctuated when it came to Rin. One moment he was behaving like a lovesick fool and the other he was ready to strangle the guy with his bare hands. He was sure that he aged years with every Rin-induced change in his mood.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him”, he said with a surprisingly level voice. His fingers curled into tight fists, his shoulders tensed, and his teeth ground together. Without asking or waiting for Shura’s permission he turned towards the exit. He was going to climb the damn mountain, and if Rin was still alive by the time he found him, he was going to knock some sense into the fool and drag his reckless ass back to safety.

“Get in the line”, Shura seemed to mutter to herself, before raising her voice. “Suguro, wait a moment!”

Completely prepared to fight their teacher on the matter, Ryūji halted his movements and turned to glance at her. She had a somewhat troubled look on her face. It was nothing like her usual mischievous grin when she was planning to do something she knew she wasn’t exactly allowed to. Instead, she kept biting her lower lip and fidgeting with a stack of paper in her hands. The worry was evident in her features.

“As your teacher, I probably should tell you to stay put and let us adults handle this. But”, she started, letting her eyes sweep over the students. “We can’t really spare manpower to look for a single person. And I doubt you’ll listen to me anyways.”

The last part was accompanied by a heavy sigh and a slow headshake. Then she stuffed the paper stack into the back pocket of her shorts and turned to look at Ryūji. “I’m certain he’s looking for your father. Once you find either of them, give me a call.”

Ryūji nodded slowly. 

Right at that moment someone called for Shura, urging her to hurry up. She glanced at the exorcist and then turned back to the students. “I need to go. Be careful, and do not engage with the Impure King!”

Chapter Text

Rin knew he was being stupidly reckless, again. If he didn’t get killed by the Impure King, he was sure Yukio would be the one finishing him off for good. He had meant to wait for his brother before ascending the mountain, he really had. But as soon as Mamushi’s words reached his ears, he couldn’t think of anything else than rescuing Ryūji’s father who apparently was fighting the demon alone. He couldn’t let Tatsuma die and let Ryūji suffer the consequences of his anger-fueled words.

He knew it was insane to dash through a dark, unfamiliar forest, using only the growing white mass of the Impure King as a beacon. The sticks and rocks stung his bare feet, and for a moment he cursed himself for not stopping by the inn to put his shoes on. The low hanging branches hit his body as he rushed through the woods and up the mountain. The air was getting thicker with miasma, and for once, he was grateful for his demon blood that seemed to protect him from the poisonous gas. However, it did little to stop the stench of rot reaching his nose.

As he neared the bubbling white blob, he felt dread setting in. No one seemed to be actively fighting the thing. Was he already too late?

That’s when he sensed something. A spark of some sort, a small demonic flame, in the middle of the thick rotten stench. It seemed to burn the miasma away, leaving a small clearing of clean air amid the infected terrain. Not knowing what else to do, Rin decided to trust his senses and follow the feeling.

That’s how he finally found Tatsuma, laying collapsed against a tree, surrounded by long grass. The man’s pale skin and heavy robes were covered in blood, and Rin wasn’t sure if he was even breathing. The small flame he had sensed earlier seemed to come inside of Tatsuma, and now that he was closer, the demonic presence became quite clear.

“Mr. Suguro!” he cried in alarm, rushed towards the fallen priest and kneeled beside him. To his relief, Tatsuma was breathing, albeit labourously. He tried to check the man over for injuries, dreading what he would find, but found nothing but dried up blood. Hesitantly, he reached over and tried to shake Tatsuma awake. 

As soon as his fingers touched the older man, a small, red flame surged forward, seemingly from within Tatsuma, and formed into a fiery, bird-like creature. It remained hovering in the air in front of him, its piercing eyes studying him curiously.

“Son of Satan”, the demon bird greeted with a voice devoid of any emotion. “I am Karura, servant of Myōō Dharani head priests.”

“You know who I am.”

“Of course. Which demon wouldn’t?” Karura replied, and for a moment Rin found himself wondering what the demon meant. However, he figured it was not important at the moment and could be addressed later. “I have healed Tatsuma’s injuries, but he lost a lot of blood. He should not move.”

Right at that moment, Tatsuma started to regain his consciousness. A deep groan escaped his lips, and his fingers grasped the front of his robes. A series of hacking coughs shook his body as he bent over to spit out blood.

“Wha– who–”, he murmured and tried to focus his eyes on Rin. “Rin? Is that you?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you’re still with us, Pops”, Rin replied while giving Tatsuma a small, relieved smile and  helping him into a more upward position against the tree. Seeing the man was relatively well considering the situation, unfurled the tightness in his chest. “You’re pretty banged up, try not to move too much.”

“And Karura, too. You’re so small now”, Tatsuma mumbled after spotting the tiny demon hovering by his side. “I thought Tōdō finished the both of us.”

“I am the immortal bird. I am always reborn”, the demon replied, its flames slightly flaring around it. “Besides, our agreement still stands. I will not allow you to die.”

“Oh, that’s good”, Tatsuma said drowsily, blinked slowly and took a deep breath. Then he turned back to Rin, urgency clear in his eyes. “But more importantly, Rin, did you get my letter?”

“I– yeah”, Rin answered with some hesitation. In his haste to rescue Tatsuma, he had totally forgotten the man’s initial request. However, at the moment, he couldn’t care less about the Impure King – his main goal was to get Tatsuma to safety first. “But let’s talk about it later. We gotta get you off the mountain first. C’mon, I’ll carry you.”

He was about to start hauling the man on his back, when Tatsuma lowered a hand on his arm, efficiently stopping him in his tracks.

“Ah, I’m afraid we don’t have time for that”, the priest’s voice was gentle as he shook his head slowly. “Karura and I are the only ones who can set up the fire barrier to stop the gas from spreading. And you, with Kurikara and your flames, might be the only one capable of killing the Impure King. We can’t really afford to leave.”

Rin could only stare Tatsuma in disbelief. After witnessing the matching temperaments, he had thought Ryūji had taken more after his mother. But apparently the stubbornness came from the paternal side of the family. “What? You’re in no condition to fight!” 

“That might be. But it’s my duty as the head priest to do everything I can”, Tatsuma said solemnly. “I can’t put my life before the whole of Kyoto. You understand that, don’t you?”

And Rin did. That had been the exact reasoning he had used against Yukio just mere hours before. But being thrown on the other side of the argument did not sit well with him. It might be hypocritical of him, but he didn’t want to see Tatsuma sacrificing himself – not even for the better good. It would destroy Ryūji, and that was not something he was willing to accept.

His fingers curled into fists on his lap and he swallowed with some difficulty. “But– but how about your family?”

A deep, heavy sigh left Tatsuma’s lips as he let his eyes wander to the looming Impure King and then to something in the far distance. His lips twisted into a small, melancholic smile. “They’ll understand, I hope.”

Tatsuma’s demeanor showed only serene acceptance. Like a soldier making his last stand, the priest had accepted his probable death in the hands of the Impure King. And Rin knew nothing he said would make the man change his mind. 

So, he would just have to make sure Tatsuma did not die during the fight.

“So what do you want me to do?” Rin asked, giving up the fight and instead trying to come up with something that would allow them both to walk away alive. “I can barely summon my flames and… I can’t draw the sword. I’m practically useless right now.”

Tatsuma gave him a puzzled look. “What do you mean? How come?”

“I– I fucked up”, Rin admitted, forgoing any attempts of sugar coating the incident. It was still difficult to talk about it, but he knew he had to. Tatsuma had the right to know what kind of a failure of a person he had put all his trust on. “I lost control and almost killed everyone. Haven't been able to draw the sword ever since. Some kind of a mental hangup, I guess.”

Tatsuma’s brows furrowed in concern.

“Oh. That is a bit of a problem”, he replied slowly, as if deep in thought. Much to Rin’s surprise, he did not look disappointed or angry. Instead, he took a deep breath and seemed to accept Rin’s words as they were. Then, after a moment, he started pushing himself up while grimacing in the pain. “Well, at least I can set up the–”

“Okumura!” a furious voice suddenly echoed through the forest, cutting their conversation short and making them both freeze. 

Rin’s stomach plummeted as he saw Ryūji emerging from the bushes like a raging typhoon. His face was red from the strain and anger, and his every movement was stiff with fury. His breathing was heavy from running all the way up to the mountain. The rest of the class were following him, in different stages of exhaustion.

For a moment, Rin could only stare in shock and disbelief. They weren’t supposed to follow him. He had been sure Shura wouldn’t allow it, especially when she thought she knew what he had set off to do. So, why were they on the mountain?

“You goddamn idiot! I swear, I’m gonna–”, Ryūji’s furious words came to a sudden stop as he spotted the collapsed Tatsuma next to Rin. The angry scowl was quickly wiped off his face, eyes widening in worry. His steps faltered for a moment before he resumed his dash towards them. Urgency had replaced the furious sharpness in his movements. “Dad!”

That’s when Rin remembered the current situation and turned back to Tatsuma. 

“They don’t know about me”, he rushed to whisper while trying to push back the dread consuming him. “Please don’t say anything.”

Tatsuma gave him a disbelieving look, but didn’t have time to reply as Ryūji crashed on his knees beside them.

“What the hell happened to you?” Ryūji asked between heavy breaths. His hair was dishevelled, sticking to his sweaty forehead and hanging over his brow. His worried eyes darted over his father’s battered and bloody body, checking for injuries. His hands hovered above the tattered robes, unsure where to start looking.

“Just a little squabble with Tōdō. Don’t worry, I’m all healed now”, Tatsuma replied while halfheartedly trying to wave Ryūji’s hands off. “What are you kids doing here?”

“We came to help.”

“More like, Bon came to murder Okumura”, Renzō commented from behind the crowd. “I was basically coerced to come along– Ow! Koneko!”

“Miss Kirigakure’s words sounded a lot like an order. Thought we’d better obey”, Izumo said and shrugged, ignoring the ruckus behind her. Like always, she was trying to look and sound indifferent, like she couldn’t care less of any of them.

“We were worried”, Shiemi said while eyeing Rin with a somewhat obscure expression on her face. If Rin didn’t know better, he would've thought she too was angry at him.

“Such a reckless bunch”, Tatsuma said, shaking his head slowly and leaning his back against the tree. “You should go. It’s not safe here.”

“Do you think we don’t know that?” Ryūji barked back. “Why else would we rush all the way up here? We came to get you two idiots out of this damn mountain!”

The man let out a deep sigh and shook his head slowly. “I’m afraid I cannot leave just yet. I still have duties as the high priest.”

“Then let us help!”

“Ryūji…”

But Ryūji seemed to only get more irritated at his father’s reluctance to accept his help. His hands balled into fists as he kept staring the man down with a fiery, determined look. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too late to try to play the hero? You’re all banged up and probably can’t even stand! There’s no way you can accomplish anything alone!” His damning eyes turned momentarily to Rin, accusation palpable. “You two seriously need to learn to accept help!”

“It’s not that I think you’re incapable of helping, Ryūji. There just isn’t much you or anyone else can do at the moment”, Tatsuma said gently. 

“Enough of this vagueness and secrets! You know how to defeat that thing”, Ryūji spat while pointing at the white blob looming over the treeline. ”Tell us. Everything.”

Being faced by his stubborn son, Tatsuma seemed to deflate. The old man seemed to realize there was no point nor time to try to argue against Ryūji, especially when the guy was determined to help.

“All right”, the priest finally said and exhaled slowly. “I’ll tell you how to defeat the Impure King.”

With that, Tatsuma started to tell them about the last time the Impure King had threatened Kyoto. He told them how the demon was expected to evolve and what consequence would follow if nothing was done about it. He told about the spore sack and the heart, and how Fukaku had split the heart into two in order to seal the demon. Then he introduced the teens to Karura, told them about the pact between the demon and the high priests and about his initial plan to use the Aeon Wave Flame to destroy the Impure King.

Rin shifted on his feet. Something about exchanging one’s lifespan into flames rubbed him wrong. It sounded dangerous. Unnecessary. Especially when he, a demon with fire powers, was right there.

Not that his flames could be much of use currently, anyways.

“But the barrier will only stop the miasma from spreading”, Konekomaru said with some hesitance in his voice. “How about the Impure King?”

Tatsuma’s eyes slid momentarily onto Rin, and even though Rin could see no traces of judgement or disappointment, only gentle acceptance, he still felt something twisting in his gut. Heat crawled on his face and ears, and he had to avert his gaze in shame. His fingers tightened their hold around the nylon strap of the sword sleeve. Kurikara sat suddenly so heavy on his back.

“As I said, there really isn’t much we can do about it. We can only wait and hope the others will come up with something or the reinforcements from the Vatican arrive before the barrier fails”, Tatsuma said and started to get up. Despite the brave front, the shaking of his arms was evident. He got only halfway up before he keeled over in pain.

“Dad!”

“Ossama!”

In the end, Tatsuma had been too weak to even stand up, not to mention to attempt the barrier spell. It soon became quite clear where Ryūji had inherited his determination from, as the man was unfaltering in his quest of setting up the barrier even if it might cost his life. For a moment Rin had wondered if he should knock Tatsuma out before the man did anything reckless – he did not climb the mountain just to witness Ryūji’s dad sacrificing himself in a desperate attempt to stop the miasma from spreading.

Fortunately, even Karura seemed to be against the idea. But Rin’s relief soon turned into horror as Ryūji volunteered – no, demanded – to take the mastery of Karura and the Aeon Wave Flame to himself. And being faced by his stubborn son, Tatsuma didn’t really have any choice in the matter. He could only teach Ryūji the spell and hope for the best.

That’s how Rin ended up following Ryūji through the thick underbushes and miasma towards the Impure King. The girls had stayed to look after the collapsed Tatsuma, while Renzō and Konekomaru had raced towards the foot of the mountain to get help. And Rin, well, even though he was currently basically powerless, he couldn’t just let Ryūji face the danger alone. He would tear into the demon with his bare hands if needed to.

The air was getting thicker and the stench of rot stronger. An eerie quietness had descended over the mountain forest – it was like all the living things had sensed the incoming danger and fled. The only sounds were the rustling of leaves under their feet, Ryūji’s wheezing breaths, and the distant gurgling and hissing of the Impure King. The atmosphere was depressing, but it was all not because of the growing demon king or the fact they were possibly marching towards their deaths.

“Are you angry at me?” Rin asked after the silence had stretched too long for his liking. Ryūji had barely said a word after they had started the ascent, and he had a pretty good idea of why.

Ryūji did not stop but Rin could see his shoulders stiffening.

“No. I’m fucking pissed at you!” Ryūji spat out, his hoarse voice nearing a growl. He did not turn to look at Rin, but Rin could guess his eyes were blazing with fury. “We’re supposed to be a team, yet it seems I’m the only one feeling that way. You keep running off on your own, leaving us behind and making us worry. Why is it so difficult for you to rely on us? Do you really see us as such a burden?”

Despite the roaring anger, hurt could be heard beneath Ryūji’s sharp words.

“No! Of course not. I know you’re strong. All of you are. I just–”, Rin hurried to reply before trailing off, unsure how to continue. It wasn’t the first time they clashed over Rin’s recklessness and the topic was getting rather old already. But there was not much he could do about it. It was not like he could tell Ryūji he kept running off on his own because he was afraid to show his satanic powers to his friends. 

Ryūji kept quiet, clearly waiting for Rin to continue. 

“Sometimes I just panic and act without thinking. Like tonight, I couldn’t let you go through the same thing as I did”, Rin said eventually, feeling a pang of guilt at the half-lie. “I am sorry for worrying you.”

Ryūji didn’t reply right away. Instead, he kept marching forward, body still taut.

“Your recklessness will definitely get you killed someday”, he finally said, before succumbing to a coughing fit. The air was getting thicker with the miasma as they neared the Impure King, and the gases were clearly starting to affect Ryūji’s health.

“I’m sure you’ll be there to save me, then”, Rin replied, maybe a bit too cheekily, considering the topic and the situation. He did not miss the redness climbing on Ryūji’s neck and ears.

“But how can I be, if you don’t trust me about going in the first place?” Ryūji muttered while wiping sweat off his forehead. “Though, my presence might actually be the thing that gets you killed. I have only ever seen you smack demons around before getting hurt. Somehow, all of your victories seem to conveniently happen offscreen.”

Rin wasn’t sure if Ryūji was suggesting his victories were a hoax.

“Oi! I’ll let you know I’ve defeated a bunch of demons on my own!”

“How? As far as I know, punching them into the face is not a proper method of exorcism!”

“I do carry a sword, you know.”

“A sword you never seem to use. What’s with that anyways?”

“It’s– uh…”

Rin’s fingers tightened around the strap as he noticed he was at a loss of words. It was the first time anyone had asked about his sword directly, and to his horror, he realized he had forgotten to come up with some kind of an explanation. It wasn’t like he could tell Ryūji about his demon heart and Satan’s flames, right?

“It’s kinda stuck at the moment.”

That finally made Ryūji turn around and give him an incredulous glance.

“Stuck”, Ryūji repeated, his voice deadpan. “What do you mean it’s stuck? Do you take care of it so badly it has rusted shut?”

“No, it’s– it’s a mental problem”, Rin explained vaguely, feeling ashamed and exasperated at the same time. He was getting tired of explaining the same thing for the third time that day. “Don’t give me that look. Even I get worried sometimes. It happens!”

“So you’re basically saying your weapon of choice is useless. Why are you even here? I don’t think you can punch that thing!”

“It’s not like I could let you go on your own”, Rin said, slightly cringing at the obvious double standard in his words. ”I’ll figure something out.”

“You’re insane”, Ryūji replied and shook his head slowly. “I hope the help gets here on time or we both are done for. C’mon, the temple should be right behind this hill.”

But instead, they were faced by the Impure King who had started taking the form of an enormous white castle. Not a single wooden plank was to be seen from the old temple buildings. Everything from the houses to the trees had been consumed by the bubbling mass of spores and mycelium.

“Whoa”, Rin said in a nervous awe. “It’s starting to look like buildings!”

Which meant there wasn’t much time until the spore sac looming above everything was going to burst.

Ryūji let out a curse between the wheezing breaths. He was not looking too good, but Rin knew better to try to persuade the other to return to the city. He could only hope the reinforcements arrived on time. Or that he would be able to draw his sword, which he didn’t think was going to happen any time soon.

“If we don’t hurry, this could be bad”, Ryūji said between gritted teeth and started to move towards the gigantic demon. But as soon as he took a step forward, a rustling of the bushes made both of them tense and turn around. Something was following them.

Something that was small, black and white, and that had wide green eyes.

“Kuro!”

“Run, Rin! This mountain is possessed by a Sudama!”

Ryūji was going to die, he was sure of it. But not by the Impure King’s spores, no, he was sure he was going to fall to his death from the back of Rin’s overgrown familiar.

After a very one-sided sounding conversation with Kuro (did Rin really understand the demon or was it all just a show?) and a short rock-paper-scissors match (which Ryūji lost), the two of them had climbed on the cat Sidhe’s back so that Kuro could take them closer to the spore sack before it burst. What Ryūji hadn’t quite expected was for the demon to wrap his tail around him and jump above the treetops, straight at the Impure King. His stomach dropped and he held Kuro’s fur in a white-knuckled grip, as he watched the ground disappear behind a thick plume of miasma.

In front of him, Rin was having a blast. He was holding on to Kuro's horns and screaming in delight like a kid in a rollercoaster. Not even the columns of mycelium that kept shooting after them seemed to deter him the slightest.

Ryūji on the other hand felt the fear gripping his insides. Fear of falling, fear of failing. The spore sac loomed above them, about to burst, and neither he nor Karura were able to spot any exposed land to center the barrier spell. On top of all, he couldn’t help but worry whether he would remember the spell correctly after hearing it only once. And even if he succeeded in setting up the barrier, how were they going to defeat the Impure King or contain the miasma? Could he hold on long enough for the reinforcements to arrive?

Rin was staring at the enormous spore sack and muttering something about a giant nikuman, and Ryūji could only listen in disbelief. Whereas his whole body was frozen in terror, Rin was thinking about food. How could he be so calm? Did Rin really not fear anything or was he just too good at hiding his feelings? The guy was practically only a strong kid armed with a stick – shouldn’t he be at least a little worried? 

He repeated his words aloud, but Rin only laughed before deflecting. That was something he had noticed Rin doing quite a lot, and it irritated him endlessly.

He didn’t have any time to call Rin out for it as Kuro suddenly, without an audible warning, lurched downward and landed on a boulder below. For some reason, the small rocky plot of land located almost directly under the spore sac was the only thing untouched by the Impure King. The white mass churned around the rock, bubbling tendrils of fungus reaching towards them like a swarm of curious hattifatteners.

Ryūji’s knees felt weak as he slid down from Kuro’s back. Still grasping the demon’s soft fur between his fingers, he took a few deep breaths to steady himself and calm his racing heart. He didn’t dare to let go of Kuro right away, afraid his legs would betray him and drop him straight into the Impure King’s growth.

“And this is where we’ll make our stand!” Rin proclaimed from Kuro’s back. Despite the confident front, Ryūji could see Rin’s stiff posture and white knuckles as he grasped the still sheathed sword in his hands. 

“Not giving up hope yet?” Ryūji asked carefully. He had to make sure Rin wasn’t regretting his decision to follow him to the Impure King.

Rin halted for a moment before giving him a reassuring smile. Or at least trying to. The smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and underneath the fake bravado, Ryūji thought he could see some uncertainty and worry. “...of course not. Not yet, anyway.” 

And then the guy had the gall to deflect, again, by calling out Ryūji’s own fear. Fear he hadn’t even tried to hide as he thought it was completely normal considering the circumstances. But apparently Rin was one to hide everything behind fake smiles and banter not fit for the situation. They were quite opposite in that regard.

“I bet everyone is doing all they can right now, and we will too!” Rin continued with a soft voice just as Ryūji was about to snap at him for not taking the situation seriously. Then he swung his sword to his shoulder and smirked mischievously down at Ryūji. “So start working on that barrier, Princess Suguro.”

“Huh?!” Ryūji exclaimed very intelligently. Trust Rin to start joking in such an improper moment. “Who are you calling a princess? I’ll beat you up!”

“Now, that’s not very princesslike behavior”, Rin chastised him, daring to continue his idiotic teasing. “Lucky for you, your loyal knight won’t get swayed easily!”

Ryūji’s face was burning, and he wasn’t entirely sure if it was because of embarrassment, annoyance or something else. Deep down, he recognized that Rin’s clowning must have been just a distraction – a method to hide Rin’s own fear. But he still couldn’t help disliking how Rin managed to grate his nerves. He had no idea why Rin had suddenly called him a princess, but he surely did not like it. It made him feel like he was a burden, someone needing constant protection. It was something every Aria heard at some point during their career, usually from idiot co-workers.

Although, he couldn’t deny how Rin referring to himself as his knight filled him with a warm feeling that made his already racing heart leap.

No, he thought, gritting his teeth. He had to stop that train of thought immediately. It was not time for such daydreams. He had a job to do, a barrier to set up.

“Damn it! You don’t have to tell me to do it!” he bit out maybe a bit too angrily while trying to mask how flustered he had become.

“Good! Then get to it!” Obvious to Ryūji’s inner turmoil, Rin exclaimed while grasping the partially covered sword in his hands. His thumb kept pressing on guard on the blue hilt, but the sword did not budge. And despite the brave front, Ryūji could see how tense his shoulders were and how his hands shook. “We can do this, Suguro!”

With that, Rin and Kuro dashed forward towards the nearest mass of fungus. And to no one’s surprise, Rin really started kicking the growth and hitting it with the scabbard of his sword. Which, to Ryūji, looked like a really inefficient way to deal with the demon. But he really didn’t have time to start criticizing Rin. He could only hope Rin’s unconventional exorcism methods and fake bravado would hold until the reinforcements arrived.

He grasped his prayer beads in his hands, twisted his fingers into the correct formation and started chanting. Despite his initial worry, the words came easily to him. So easily, that he could let his mind wander back to Rin, who had been occupying his head a tad too much lately. It was strange how someone could be simultaneously so irritating and bewitching. He hated how Rin was determined to play a lone hero all the time and how his self-sacrificing tendencies reminded him of his own dad. He hated how, despite everything, he couldn’t banish Rin from his mind. And he hated his own weak resolve that hadn’t stopped him from–

No, he wouldn’t think about that.

The last syllables fell from his lips, and fuelled by his own irritating feelings, he smashed his fore finger against the rock.

“Ryūji Suguro, I grant your barrier spell”, Karura said before leaving Ryūji’s hair and darting towards the sky like a burning arrow. At the zenith, it exploded into a red, raging firestorm, spreading the flames all around them and enclosing the old temple grounds inside of a fiery dome.

He could barely hear Rin rejoicing at his success. He was relieved he had managed to set up the barrier, but at the same time he could feel the spell sapping his energy more than he would have liked. He guessed it was because he was already feeling tired from the climb and the miasma-filled air. He knew he wouldn’t last very long if the fight against the Impure King got prolonged.

Above them the spore sac groaned. Its skinlike outer layer had stretched thin, almost see through, and the bubbling mass at its foot kept exploding, sending plumes of spores everywhere. There was no doubt the sac was about to burst at any moment.

The maturing of whatever resided inside the sac seemed to spur the bubbling mass forward as Rin and Kuro were suddenly swarmed by a faster and more active fungal growth. The hits and kicks only barely kept the enemy away from Ryūji, reminding him how vulnerable he actually was while crouching there and making sure to not break contact with the ground (he refused to think of himself as a princess, though). After a few close calls, he started to doubt whether they were actually going to survive until the reinforcements arrived.

Then the sac bursted.

In a flash the thick smokelike miasma flooded the mountain. It filled Ryūji’s eyes, nose, mouth and even ears, rendering him momentarily blind and deaf. The stench was a horrible mix of an abandoned organic waste container and death, and it was only beaten by the awful putridity assaulting his tastebuds when he had to open his mouth to retch and cough. He couldn’t breathe, his ears rang. It took all of his concentration to keep his finger glued to the ground. Somewhere far away he could hear Rin screaming his name.

He forced his eyes open and saw Rin dashing towards him, eyes wide in horror. The hairs on his neck stood up as he sensed something approaching him from behind and turned to look. 

His heart missed a beat in terror as his eyes landed on the gigantic creature looming over him. It was like an enormous, wingless moth made of bubbling fungi. Its body had rows of slits emitting clouds of miasma and spores as if it was exhaling the poison. And at the very top, right below the crownlike spikes, were two empty eyes staring right at them. The eyes of the Impure King. Or in other words, its heart.

Gigantic, bubbling arms were reaching towards him, and Ryūji felt panic setting in. Rin would never be on time. And what could he even do?

“Karura! Protect me!” he shouted before performing another spell and smashing his other forefinger against the rock. His throat was in agony and it was still difficult to breathe but he had no other choice.

A fiery barrier appeared around him, successfully repelling the approaching demonic appendage. The Impure King let out a series of low noises that sounded like someone puffing out air and shied away from the fire, clearly afraid of burning. 

And Ryūji felt like suffocating. Using a part of the barrier to protect him might not have been the best idea, as he felt it consuming too much of his waning energy. The thick miasma had clogged his airways, and the heavy exhaustion setting on his bones made it hard for him to stay upright. His vision was tunneling, and for a moment he could only concentrate on keeping his fingers pressed against the ground and taking short, laborious breaths.

“Suguro!” he heard Rin crying as the other boy rushed towards him. But he was too exhausted to reply right away.

Deciding to give him a break, Karura explained Rin what they had done. 

“Oh, I see”, Rin exclaimed, looking relieved.

“But now the barrier will only last another fifteen minutes”, Ryūji had to correct before Rin made any wrong conclusions. His whole body was trembling as he lifted his eyes to meet Rin's shocked ones.

“What? Why?”

“My body has reached its limit. I may not even last fifteen minutes”, he continued solemnly, closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. He had known the mission was likely to fail, but still he couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed. “Koneko and Shima didn’t make it in time. I hope they’re alright.”

“Of course they’re alright!” Rin exclaimed, clearly trying to bring some light into the desperate situation.

But before either of them could say anything else, Rin and Kuro were attacked by another of the Impure King’s bubbling appendages. And Ryūji could only watch as Kuro was swept away while Rin struggled to draw his sword in vain. The frustration and disbelief was palpable in Rin’s demeanor when the sword refused to budge.

That’s when Ryūji finally accepted it. The mission had failed. They were not going to leave the mountain alive.

“I guess this is the end”, he said slowly between the wheezing breaths and lifted his eyes to meet Rin’s. His mouth twisted into a sad smile. He could feel the fungus clinging to his skin but knew there was nothing he could do about it. “While my barrier lasts, you should run.”

He couldn’t give up the barrier and leave, he was determined to hold on as long as physically possible. But Rin, on the other hand… Rin still had a chance to survive. Rin didn’t need to meet his end just yet. 

But Rin didn’t move. Instead, the guy only stood there, on top of a pile of mycelium, and stared down at him. His vision was getting fuzzy and he couldn’t quite make sense of the expression on Rin’s face.

“Please. Just go!” he repeated more forcefully, trying to break through Rin’s stubbornness. “Evacuate as many people as possible!”

He broke into another coughing fit, but Rin still didn’t move. 

“Goddamnit, Okumura! For once in your life, do as you’re told!” He knew his voice was starting to sound desperate. The outburst managed to clear his vision and he could finally look at Rin for what he believed would be the last time. “Hurry! Every second counts! Go!”

Instead of running, Rin shifted on his feet and turned to face him fully. Fungi clung to his clothes and hair, but he didn’t seem to mind. His expression started to show hints of worry and even despair. He was gritting his teeth and squeezing the sword in a death grip. And then he took a deep breath, schooled his expression and pulled on a mask of… something.

“Um”, he started speaking slowly, as if looking for the right words, “what was it again…?”

He made a point trying to look thoughtful, until he snapped his fingers as if having a heureka-moment.

“Oh, right! Kyoto tower!” he exclaimed, maybe a bit too excited considering the situation they were in. “I wanna go up Kyoto Tower! Take me there tomorrow!”

Of all things Rin could have said, Ryūji hadn’t expected that. He could only watch in disbelief as Rin stepped closer, arms spread and a huge smile on his face as he babbled about the tower.

“You’re a local so you must know all about it. I hear it even got a public bath, is that true? And we can invite everyone else!” Rin continued the smile changing into something more softer as he peered down at Ryuuji. “So it would really suck if we didn’t save Kyoto. It would really suck if we didn’t save everyone.”

And as a final declaration, he straightened his back and, filled with confidence, said: “we’re gonna win this!”

“What the hell, Okumura?” was Ryūji’s first reaction to Rin’s ridiculous declaration. It took him a while to register Rin’s words and even after that he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. “You’re worried about Kyoto Tower of all things?! Seriously? I’ve never even been there! It’s an embarrassment! Kyoto has tons of other famous spots!”

“Yeah, but I don’t really understand temples”, Rin replied, looking a bit taken back by Ryūji’s outburst. “I like trendy places more.”

Ryūji couldn’t stop the laughter bursting from his chest. The situation was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. They were marching towards their deaths and instead of running away they were bickering about Kyoto’s tourist destinations. Of course, he knew it was all Rin’s attempt to hide his own fear and stay positive in a desperate situation – the guy was too pigheaded to let neither of them give up and die, after all. He knew that even if everyone else was to fall, Rin would stay up and fight out of mere stubbornness.

Somehow, it reminded him of how he had fallen for Rin in the first place.

“What are you laughing at, Suguro?”

He had desperately tried to push those feelings away, reluctantly acknowledging they could never be together because of his duties to his temple. But as he watched the carnage around them, he figured he didn’t really care anymore. The old temple was gone, and if they managed to defeat the Impure King, he seriously doubted anyone was willing to rebuild the old buildings. His father’s dream would come to pass. Even if he survived, there was nothing to inherit anymore. The lineage of the high priests would probably end with Tatsuma.

He didn’t know what that meant for his ambitions and future plans but he could think about that later, if he lived to see another day. For now he could only focus on the barrier, himself… and Rin.

“Oh hell, who cares”, he said quietly to himself and turned his face towards the sky. He felt the rain hitting his face, washing away the worst of the Impure King’s miasma. It felt soothing, calming. Finally he turned his gaze back to Rin. The false bravado had turned into a worry.

“Oku– Rin”, he said slowly, and it was probably the first time he had used Rin’s first name while sober. “You’re probably the most insufferable person I know. You’re reckless – borderline suicidal. Your teamwork skills really suck.”

Rin gaped at him. “Wha–”

“But”, he interrupted before Rin could continue and give him cold feet, “you’re also the bravest and strongest person I know. You have a big, righteous heart. You don’t hesitate to put everyone’s wellbeing before your own. Your optimism sometimes takes ridiculous heights, like today. And I can’t help but admire that in you.”

He knew if they survived, he would surely die of embarrassment the next day. But in the heat of the moment, he didn’t really care. After realizing the shackles holding him back were no more, he wanted to – he needed to get his feelings out in the open. 

“I really like you, Rin.” 

The confession came out easier than he had ever expected it to. His only regret was that it had taken him so long  to be able to admit it.

Rin stood frozen, face red and wide eyes staring down at him. He was clearly rendered speechless as he could only open and close his mouth soundlessly. The growth of the Impure King nicked at his bare feet, but he didn't seem to pay any mind. 

“So, you mean, last night…” 

Ryūji closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. He had tried to forget the whole incident, but he would have expected that Rin, too, remembered. The other had been barely drunk after all.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t really have done that”, he said quietly while trying to rein in his embarrassment. “But I want you to know that it was not a mere drunken whim. I really wanted to kiss you. I have wanted to for a long time. And I still do.”

The admission made his face burn, and he could see Rin was suffering from a similar ailment.

“I– dammit, Ryūji”, Rin said, flustered, and Ryūji’s heart leaped at hearing his given name falling from Rin’s lips for what must have been the first time ever. Rin’s eyes darted around the battleground, desperate to avoid Ryūji’s gaze while he cradled his fingers through his sweaty dark blue locks. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything”, Ryūji replied quietly. He hadn’t expected much to begin with. After the previous night, he had had an inkling Rin might have some feelings towards him as well, but he could live with it if that was not the case. “I just needed to get this off my chest, just in case the worst will come to pass.”

That made Rin turn back to him, brows furrowed.

“We’re not going to die!” 

And Ryūji could only sigh at Rin’s false positivity bordering on delusion. The air wheezed upon exiting his clogged lungs, and his throat twitched in pain. He lowered his eyes to his shaking hands that struggled to keep contact with the rock, and let his vision tunnel for a moment.

“Let’s be real Rin. I can’t hold on much longer”, he said with a small, exhausted voice. “The reinforcements are not coming. We’re on our own. And you– you should run. I don’t want you to die here with me.” He succumbed to another coughing fit. “So please… Go save yourself.”

He hadn’t noticed Rin creeping closer until a pair of bare feet appeared just outside of his personal barrier.

“Nope, absolutely not. We still gotta talk about this”, Rin said while gesturing between them. “You don’t get to confess your undying love for me and then die. No way in hell.”

“Rin–”

“And you still gotta take me to see the Kyoto Tower! I’ve been looking forward to it the whole mission!” 

“Rin, please. Listen to me.”

“No, you’ll listen to me”, Rin shook his head and turned to glare at the sword clutched in his white-knuckled grip. “You will not die. I’ll make sure of it.”

Ryūji wanted to ask how, but something in Rin’s tone made him pause. There was new determination, new conviction. No longer did Rin hide behind false bravado and delusional positivity. Something had shifted, filling Rin with enough confidence to move mountains. And Somehow, Ryūji believed Rin would be capable of that. Somehow, he found himself believing Rin’s words.

“I– alright. If you’re so sure, I’ll trust you”, he said finally, giving up trying to convince Rin to run. “You have incredible luck when no one is seeing. I hope you can spare some for the rest of us, too.” He gave Rin one final look accompanied by a trusting smile. “Go nuts, I guess. I’ll take you to that stupid tower afterwards.”

With that, he let his eyes fall shut and mind drift away. His body collapsed, breaking the connection between his forefingers and the earth. As he collided with the hard rock, he could hear Rin crying his name and dashing forward. Behind him, the impure King gave a deep, satisfied gargle, and he could also feel it reaching its bubbling appendages towards him. But instead of being crushed by the gigantic mass of fungus, he felt warmth engulfing his whole body. It felt like an awkward hug of dozens of arms. It felt soothing. It felt safe. It felt familiar.

Right before he let his mind succumb to the soft embrace of the darkness, he could see something blue flashing through his lids.

What a weird trick of light.

Chapter Text

“Ryūji!” Rin screamed in horror as Ryūji keeled over and the fire barrier snuffed out. With his heart in his throat and his vision tunneling on Ryūji’s collapsed form, he finally let his flames out and rushed forward. The fungal growth was slippery under his bare feet, and he surely would have fallen over had it not been his now freely blazing flames burning every single piece of mycelium daring to touch him.

His knees hit the rock beside Ryūji, hard enough to bruise. His hands shook as he reached out to nudge his friend’s shoulder to make sure he was alright. Ryūji didn’t react to the touch, but to his relief, Rin saw Ryūji’s back rising along with laborious breaths. Karura was nowhere to be seen or sensed anymore.

Yet the relief was short-lived. Above them, the Impure King rumbled and let out another sigh of toxic miasma. Lured in by their diminishing life force, it once again reached its giant, bubbling limb towards them, clearly aiming on crushing and consuming both of them. Rin snapped his flames at it but with his demon side still sealed, they didn’t make much impact.

As he sat kneeling there, grasping Ryūji’s shoulder in his other hand and Kurikara’s hilt in the other, the world slowed down. His mind kicked into overdrive, going through about a million things simultaneously. He kicked himself for his own uselessness, for being so mentally weak he was more a danger than an asset. He wondered why his father had bothered to save such a demon child, endangering his career, family, and ultimately, his life. He thought about Yukio whose life he had all but ruined. He thought guiltily about his friends that were still kept in the dark because of his own cowardice. He thought about Ryūji, who put his trust blindly on him before collapsing into an exhausted heap.

He briefly pondered about the confession and his confusing feelings. He didn’t dare to think what all that would mean in the future.

But above all, he thought about how everyone was ready to risk everything to stop the Impure King, while he himself was too afraid to draw a simple sword. His friends had risked their lives to make sure his stupid ass and Tatsuma got to safety. And he did not deserve any of that.

He needed to repay them somehow. Even if that meant risking the loss of control, the reveal, or losing his friends for good.

Kurikara’s hilt felt hot in his hands as he watched the Impure King descend onto them in slow motion. He didn’t really have a choice, did he? Ryūji and everyone else did not deserve to die because of his cowardice and poor confidence. 

His fingers curled around the hilt as the determination set in. And then, without any further mulling over the consequences, he grabbed the scabbard with his other hand, and forcibly pulled the sword free. His demon side roared in glee along with his flames as they surged forward, unrestrained for the first time in a month, and engulfed his body, filling his veins with power. He could feel his features changing – his ears elongating, his teeth sharpening and his fingernails almost morphing into claws. His tail unfurled from his torso, swinging freely through the air. His blue-tinted vision sharpened, allowing him to note each small spore bubbling on the Impure King’s body.

The fungal growth surrounding him burned into nothingness, and the ones not touched by his flames made a hasty retreat.

Without wasting any more time, he leaped forward and sliced straight through the bubbling mass approaching them from above. As he continued forward, covering more of the Impure King with his flames, he made sure to burn any of the falling spores before they managed to hit Ryūji. The demon gurgled as if in pain and let out a thick stream of miasma from the slits on its body. Not letting the toxic gas affect him, Rin let his flames go wild, burning away everything on their path, all while still being mindful not to hurt Ryūji. He was grateful his control of his flames was a bit better nowadays, but he still had to be extra careful.

To his dismay, his flames did not seem to be as effective against the demon king as he had initially hoped. They made it retreat far enough not to threaten Ryūji anymore, but at the same time it managed to heal what Rin had burned. He realized that in order to defeat the Impure King, he would need to use significantly more of his flames, which could potentially result in another disaster if he lost control.

Reluctantly, he ceased his attacks and did not pursue the demon in its retreat. Instead, he hopped back to Ryūji while burning away any of the fungus daring to approach them and crouched down to make sure his friend was still alive. Careful not to nick the guy with his sharp nails, he pushed the long, blonde bangs away from the guy’s face. Sweat, grime and spores clung to his fingers, forming a disgusting-looking paste. Grimacing, he willed his flames to burn the filth away. To his relief, Ryūji was still breathing, albeit very laboriously. Exhaustion was carved deep into his features, the shadows under his eyes standing dark against his pale, sweaty skin. There was no doubt that the spells had taken a lot of Ryūji. Rin could only hope the part about exchanging one’s lifespan into the flame barrier did not mean it literally.

The guilt twisted his chest and he had to kick himself mentally. Had he been faster or more courageous, Ryūji wouldn’t have had to bear the pressure of the barrier as long as he had. Once again, his cowardice had harmed people dear to him.

A short distance away, the Impure King rumbled, reminding him of its existence.

A slow puff of air escaped Rin’s lungs as his fingers tightened around Kurikara. He wanted to slice those stupid eyes off the demon, but there was no way he could leave Ryūji alone and defenseless. But every moment he spent guarding his fallen friend, more of the gas escaped the mountain towards the city beneath. Even the heavy rain wouldn’t hold it off long enough. At some point, Kuro had reappeared after being swept away by a swarm of fungus, but the familiar was still too far to be of any help to protect Ryūji while Rin dealt with the Impure King. 

He was at a loss of what to do. If he could copy Karura and create a fire barrier around Ryūji, he might be able to engage with the demon king once again. But with his current lack of control, that would probably only end with a disaster. Especially if he used too much of his flames and ended up losing himself to them.

He gritted his teeth as the flames flared around him, begging to be set free. What was he going to do?

He didn’t have to ponder long, as his prayers were answered by Shura.

“Rin!” the female exorcist yelled while dashing through the miasma and landing right next to them. Her eyes darted from him to Ryūji, and her brows furrowed in concern. “Are you two okay?”

To say Rin was relieved to see Shura would have been an understatement of the century. Not that he would ever admit it out loud to the woman. “Yeah, he’s just out cold. What took you so long?”

“I came as soon as I could”, Shura replied and crouched down to check Ryūji over. The crease between her brows smoothed out as he saw he truly was merely unconscious. “But enough of that. Leave Suguro to me. You need to deal with that thing. No one else can. Do you understand?”

Rin nodded slowly and stood up, eyes still refusing to leave Ryūji’s crumbled form.

“And Rin”, Shura continued while glancing briefly at him. “This is your chance to prove everyone. Prove that Father Fujimoto was right to save you.”

“You got it”, Rin replied, shifted his hold on Kurikara, and dashed towards the enormous demon.

Not needing to worry about Ryūji while fighting the Impure King made things a little bit easier. He still couldn’t get a fatal hit on the demon, though. For every pillar of fungal growth he burned and sliced, three more popped in their place. They shot after him, surrounding him from all sides, trying to trap him into a bubbling prison of rot. And while he concentrated on beating the growth chasing him, the demon kept pumping out miasma at an increasing rate.

How am I going to beat this thing? He thought in despair as he dodged another attack and landed on the wall of the castle belonging to the demon king’s body. He rushed forward, circling back and trying to find some opening that would allow him to attack the Impure King directly. But to no avail. The fungal growth had formed a writhing, impenetrable wall around the demon, protecting its heart, its only weakness.

Rin cursed out loud as he cut down another part of the Impure King. He kept channeling more and more of his flames towards the demon, but nothing seemed to slow down its growth. He was starting to get desperate, the familiar feelings of unworthiness rising to the surface.

That’s when he heard an unimpressed voice booming through the terrain, and partially, his mind.

“Hmph. I cannot bear to watch.”

And suddenly there was a great birdlike demon floating above him. It was clad in red flames, and a humanoid face peered down at him from inside of the beak. Its eyes were full of disappointment and contempt. For a moment he thought Karura had gone through some Pokemon-kind of an evolution, but his demonic senses soon told him it was not the case.

“Who– what? A demon?” he gasped out loud, surprised at the turn of the events.

The demon let out a scoff. “Demon, angel, Myōō… Those are human terms”, it– he said, sounding somehow offended. “The question is, what are you, human clad in god’s flames?”

As Rin failed to reply, the demon gave out another scoff.

“I am Ucchusma, the Impurity Kongo. The Impure King is my age-old foe”, he introduced himself and then gestured towards Kurikara. “That sword was originally our lord’s weapon. If you wish to defeat the Impure King, I will teach you how to guide the flame.”

Rin had no idea why this random demon that appeared out of nowhere wanted to help him, but at that point he was ready to accept any help necessary.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but count me in, Ucchusma!”

Without much warning, Ucchusma turned into a pure red flame and dove straight into Kurikara. Upon contact, the demon merged with Rin’s flames, turning into blue like the hellfire. A small part remained hovering right above the sword's tip, transforming into a small winged ball with Ucchusma’s face.

“Now you will repeat the mantras and sutras after me!” The demon commanded him.

Despite him being thankful for the help, Rin couldn’t help but feel the sliver of doubt creeping into his mind. Demons, after all, were oftentimes quite tricky creatures. There was no way to know if the demon was helping him out of his good will.

“What are you gonna do?” he asked, not willing to lend Ucchusma more of his flames until he was certain it was safe to do so.

“I will call forth the Fire Life Samadhi”, the demon’s reply was instant. “It will burn everything in the material world. With your flame of Satan it will purify the Impure King and the whole mountain with fire.”

Rin felt his insides freeze over. “Wait a minute”, he stammered, his tongue heavy in his mouth. His mind reeled back to Ryūji, Shura and Kuro on the boulder below, to his classmates and Tatsuma in the forest and to his brother and the exorcists probably fighting for their lives at the foot of the mountain. “The whole mountain? There are lots of people here!”

“What of it?” the demon replied with a cold, indifferent tone. “That is of little consequence. All those who entered the Impure King’s castle and touched its servants are contaminated. We must purify every last one. The Impure King can return from even the smallest remnant!”

Deciding not to wait for Rin’s complaints, Ucchusima gestured him to move. “Let’s go!”

“W–wait”, Rin cried as he had to jump to dodge an incoming attack from the Impure King. As he soared through the air he couldn’t stop his mind racing. He knew Ucchusma was their last hope, but what good would it do if he killed everyone in the process? He would need to control his flames so that he burned only the Impure King and not the people, which sounded like an impossible task. Even though his control had gotten better during the recent weeks, it was still nowhere close to that good!

But I don’t have a choice. That’s what I’ve got to do! He thought desperately. He had to do it. He had to take the risk and attempt the impossible. Otherwise… the casualties would be unimaginable.

“No dawdling”, the demon on his sword drawled. “Let’s go.”

The words started pouring into his head, clear and comprehensible. He had no difficulties in following Ucchusma’s directions as the demon started to turn into a floating fireball. With each word, the ball kept consuming his flames and growing, turning into a spherical firestorm. Once it was large enough, he hurled it towards the Impure King, hitting it straight into the malformed face.

The fire exploded everywhere.

His sword kept channeling his flames into the raging firestorm around him, demanding more and more power. Instinctively he tried to halt the stream of flames, not wanting them to consume him and make him lose control. This prompted some disapproving comments from Ucchusma, but he couldn’t, he wouldn’t lose control. But his struggle to contain the flames was in vain, they kept burning, chipping away his humanity and making his demon side raise its head.

The two sides of him fought fiercely – his human side trying to regain control and the demon side roaring to be let free. The demon struggled against his restraints, cursing at him, cursing at everyone. For his whole life he had been made to suppress his power but no more. He was free, he was going to show everyone. He was going to burn the whole mountain into a crisp! He was–

“I’ll trust you”, Ryūji’s earlier words cut through the rage, bringing him sudden clarity and reminding who he actually was fighting for. His days might have been numbered the moment the Vatican discovered his existence, but he still had to make sure all of his friends and family were safe.

They were counting on him.

He needed to get a grip. He needed to rein in his demon. He needed to make sure everyone was safe!

And with the new determination setting in, he crammed his demon back in the corners of his mind and concentrated like never before. He felt around – not with his hands, no, but his flames. They were an extension of him, crawling along like millions of tiny tentacles. He felt the Impure King churning around him, shying away from him but he pushed forward. He burned – he burned everything that reeked of the demon king. He crawled into every nook and cranny, hunting down the Impure King to the last spore. He caressed Ryūji’s skin while passing, moved onto Shura and Kuro and then to everyone else. He burned away the spores, the mycelium, everything related to the demon. He was relieved to notice everyone seemed to be still alive.

And once he was done and certain there were no traces of the Impure King left, he let his flames die out. The sudden loss of sense made him keel over, to drop to his knees. He no longer felt everything at once, only his own aching body. A dry heave left his throat, turning into a series of coughs, as the sudden loss of power felt like being dunked into a bucket full of ice water. He barely registered Ucchusma’s parting words as the demon disappeared into red flames.

He took a few moments to catch his breath before he reached for the scabbard and sheathed Kurikara. The rest of his flames snuffed out and he could feel his demonic features retreating back to the human ones. Instinctively his tail retreated back under his shirt before he scrambled to his feet and turned around to face Ryūji and Shura. The former was still lying crumbled on the ground while the latter stood vigilant next to him. Kuro, in his smaller form, was lying on the ground next to them, battered but alive, too.

“Ryūji!” The name left Rin’s lips before he could think and he started to stumble towards the group. Once reaching them, he unceremoniously dropped next to Ryūji to make sure the other was still just asleep and not, like, dead. He had lost count of how many times he had done that already. “How is he?”

“Still unconscious, but I’m sure he’ll recover”, Shura told him with a soft voice before patting his shoulder as if to congratulate him for his victory. “You saved him, Rin. You saved us all. Well done.”

Rin could only nod as a response. The relief flooding his body and driving out the tension made him drowsy and he had to brace himself against the ground with his hand. He felt Kuro nudging gently his other hand and he lifted his shaking fingers to scratch the familiar behind his ear.

“I finally controlled my flame. Can you believe it?” he said and let out a small, disbelieving laugh. He had never thought such control could be possible for him. But apparently life and death situations had a strange effect on people. “But… What are we going to tell everyone? I– I don’t think I’m ready to tell them the truth yet.”

“I’m afraid we probably can’t keep your involvement a secret from the Kyoto branch leadership completely. But we’ll come up with something”, Shura reassured him and gave his shoulder a small, soothing squeeze. 

Rin was too exhausted to even try to doubt her, and instead, he decided to trust her to handle the aftermath with the Vatican, Myōdha, his friends or even Yukio. Surely she wouldn’t let the wrathful Yukio exorcise him on the spot? It would really suck to get killed right after learning to control his flames.

A soft chuckle left his lips at the irony of it before the rest of his thoughts were swallowed by the ringing of his ears. His mind was getting mushy and it was getting more and more difficult to grasp the individual strands of his thoughts. Darkness was lurking at the edge of his field of vision, slowly filling his eyes with black fog. Strength was waning from his body, making his limbs and head incredibly heavy. 

When his body finally gave up and collapsed, the last thing he saw before falling into the darkness was Ryūji’s slumbering face.

The first thing Rin noticed was that it was warm, a way too warm for his liking. The air was humid and it smelled like the medicinal herbs they were forced to sniff and identify during their demon pharmaceuticals class. His hair clung to his damp forehead, annoyingly tickling the skin on his brow. Reflecting the small ire he was feeling, his tail twitched against his leg.

He cracked his eyes open and was met by a wooden ceiling. He blinked slowly a few times before his brain caught up with him.

The Impure King. The fight. Ucchusma.

He finally controlled his flame.

And…

Ryūji’s confession.

Deciding to push the latter into the back of his mind, he focused on trailing the grains of the wooden planks with his eyes. Someone had brought him back into the Suguro family inn, he realized while turning his head to the side. Something in the room seemed familiar, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t in his own room. His eye caught the plain walls, the organized bookcase and the clean desk, and then he remembered. It looked different in the dim daylight, but there was no doubt in his mind.

For some reason, he was in Ryūji’s room.

The realization immediately hurled his mind back into the previous night and made his cheeks heat up. He still couldn’t think about the incident without getting all flustered, so he scrambled to push the inappropriate thoughts away. He’d need to sort those things out once he was awake enough to move his body and think clearly.

In the corner of his eye, he caught something black. Kuro. The familiar was sleeping partially on his pillow, curled around his right hand. The bandage-covered back was rising and falling with quiet cat snores that come out as soft huffs and purrs. Glad to see his companion was not too badly injured, he gently stroked Kuro’s fur, careful not to wake the demon, and turned to look in the other direction. 

Only to meet with Ryūji’s sleeping face.

His whole body froze in surprise, and for a moment he could only stare. The guy looked relatively unharmed, albeit a bit exhausted. There were still remnants of the dark shadows under his eyes and he was paler than normal. He was lying on his stomach on a bed next to Rin's futon, facing him and snoring quietly. He had changed his dirty clothes into a yukata similar to what Rin himself was wearing. His hair was a long, unkept mess, falling down over his eyes, and only a part of his closed right eye, the tip of his nose and soft looking lips could be seen underneath. 

In order to avoid the thoughts arising from staring Ryūji’s lips too long, Rin’s eyes followed the curve of Ryūji’s arm all the way over the edge of the bed to their joined hands. He gulped, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. Ryūji’s skin felt hot under his fingers, and he had to actively stop them from tightening their hold. Instead, with small, hesitant movements, he let his fingertips explore Ryūji’s palm. He glided them over the calluses, mounds and crevices, his touch gentle and careful so that he wouldn’t wake the other up and could enjoy the contact as long as possible.

He felt conflicted.

His heart leaped at the mere thought of Ryūji liking him. Of touching him. Of kissing him. He never would have thought the other would develop feelings for him of all the people. He never would have thought his budding crush would be mutual. Suddenly, he had found himself pining, yearning and he had no idea what to do. He craved Ryūji, his company, his touch. He wanted all of Ryūji for himself. But at the same time, he felt his chest tightening and something ugly twisting inside of him, as the logical part of his mind reminded him there never could be anything between them.

Because he was a demon. A thing they were learning to kill. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he was the son of Satan himself. The son of the demon god. Son of the very thing Ryūji had sworn to destroy. And Ryūji was oblivious to it all. Such a lie would be a horrible base for a relationship.

He could never tell Ryūji the truth. He couldn’t risk losing friendships to his demon side again. He couldn’t bear it if Ryūji started looking at him with contempt, with hate in his eyes. He couldn’t take it if Satan made him lose yet another person he loved.

His tail coiled around his thigh, seeking comfort. He closed his now burning eyes, and took a shaky breath. Grief was wrapping its fingers around his heart, squeezing and twisting, driving away everything that remained of his foolish hope. He knew what he should logically do.

He should turn Ryūji down.

Things would be awkward for a while, but maybe, eventually, they could remain as friends.

Anything would be better than burning hate and anger.

But he really didn’t want to, he realized, the grief giving his heart another painful squeeze. He wanted to indulge himself and his feelings, he wanted to be able to call Ryūji his own. He wasn’t sure if it was just his demon side’s possessiveness talking, but he didn’t want to see Ryūji healing from the heartbreak and ending up with someone else. 

He almost cursed the guy. Why did Ryūji have to go and bring his feelings into the light, complicating their friendship? Had it been just Rin dealing with his feelings, he could have managed. He would have hidden everything away like he did with his other secrets. He would have suffered in silence, like he always did. But now he knew their feelings were mutual and that, in theory, there was hope for a relationship. Yet, at the same time he had been forced to acknowledge that it would be doomed from the start. He had been basically cursed to yearn for something that was simultaneously so close and so damn far away.

The thoughts were starting to get unbearable. He needed to leave, he thought as he started to pull his hand away from Ryūji's. He needed to–

Fingers curled around his, halting any escape attempts, and gave them a small squeeze.

Startled, his eyes blew open and turned to Ryūji who was staring at him in concern.

“Hey”, Ryūji said quietly. His voice was hoarse from inhaling all the miasma during the fight. “You okay?" 

Suddenly very aware of how messed up he must have looked at that moment, Rin blinked a few times to chase away the wetness from his eyes and cleared his throat before schooling his expression to something more neutral.

“Um, yeah. I just woke up", he said with a hoarse voice of his own, but his wasn’t caused by the miasma. “Wha– what happened? Why am I in your room?”

“The inn’s kinda full with all the patients. And since we were the closest to the Impure King, they put us here, in a quarantine of sorts, just in case. It’s already afternoon", Ryūji explained and braced his head against his arm to face Rin better. It seemed that he had been awake much longer than Rin. “They tried to put Ms. Kirigakure here too, but she threw a fit. What's with her anyways?”

Rin shrugged. Sometimes Shura was a complete mystery to him as well.

“As for what happened… Ms. Kirigakure explained that, after I collapsed, you kept protecting me until she arrived. Thanks for that, by the way. I don't know how you managed it but you probably saved my life.”

"It was really nothing”, Rin tried to play cool, while being slightly embarrassed. He had just done what was right. Besides, had he been able to draw his sword, he probably could've dealt with the Impure King a lot earlier. “What happened after?" 

“I heard you got knocked out soon afterwards, and she had to protect both of us until… Well, I've had a hard time believing what I've been told", Ryūji continued. A small frown appeared on his face as his thumb kept stroking Rin’s knuckles almost absentmindedly. He had never let go of Rin's hand. "Apparently we were saved by Satan's flames. Jūzō and the others saw a blue Fire Life Samadhi. It’s a technique some people relying on Ucchusma’s – an Agni serving the Myōdha – power can use. No one knows why Satan would team up with him to defeat the Impure King, all while saving all the people on the mountain, but apparently that's what happened.”

“Yeah, that– that sounds weird”, Rin agreed, trying to act oblivious.

Ryūji hummed and gave him a curious look. “You didn’t see anything?” 

Rin averted his eyes and shook his head. “As Shura said, I was out cold during the final showdown”, he continued the lie Shura had apparently come up with. The words tasted sour in his mouth and with every syllable he hated himself more for his dishonesty.

He could sense a pair of eyes studying him. But if Ryūji detected anything suspicious, he decided not to mention it. Instead he let out a deep sigh.

“I figured. Wish you saw something more, though”, he said. “There’s definitely something they aren’t telling us. The director looked pretty bothered after meeting up with Sir Pheles. I bet they know more about those flames than they let us know.”

Rin swallowed slowly. “I– I wonder what that is”, he forced the words out, while repeating ‘stay cool’ inside of his head. “But… it’s not like they’re gonna tell us if they don’t wish us to know.”

“I know”, Ryūji replied with another sigh, plopped back to his stomach on the bed and pressed his cheek against his pillow. “I’m just so goddamn tired of the secrets and secrecy. Can’t people just be honest?”

Ryūji’s words felt like a stab into the gut and Rin tried not to flinch.

“Yeah, you said it”, he agreed quietly, not even lying this time. He hated the secrecy. He hated the secrets kept from him and he hated the secrets he kept from the others. And he hated the fact that he was the sole person wanting to keep these secrets hidden in the first place. “But people have their reasons for not sharing stuff.”

“I still hate it.”

“Yeah, me too”, Rin said, almost choking as the guilt twisted his heart. He felt like crying, but he knew he couldn’t. Not there. That’d be too suspicious.

After that, the conversation dried up and they lapsed into silence. There was still one more elephant in the room, and Rin wasn’t sure if he was ready to address it just yet. His eyes lowered to their joined hands. Ryūji was still holding his fingers in a tight but gentle grip, his touch hot, almost burning. Although Rin was quite sure the burning part was just his guilt manifesting. He doubted Ryūji had washed his hands with holy water, after all.

Ryūji caught his stare and let out a soft chuckle, making Rin’s face flush. “You grabbed my hand while asleep, and who am I to shake you off”, he said softly and, once more, let his thumb run over Rin’s joints. “Do you wanna talk about this, about us?”

“I– I don’t know”, Rin replied honestly. His eyes followed the movements of Ryūji’s thumb, feeling increasingly more anxious every second. The touch felt so good, and he never wanted it to stop. But he knew he had to put an end to it. He needed to pull his hand away. He needed to– 

He needed to reject Ryūji.

I don’t feel that way towards you. 

Just a few simple words and they could continue their lives as friends. The truth would stay hidden, and Ryūji wouldn’t get hurt by his dishonesty. And if his heritage was someday revealed, Rin’s betrayal wouldn’t feel as bad. If the Vatican decided to execute him, his passing wouldn’t hurt as much as if they had been in a relationship.

That’s what he kept telling himself.

Do it! Put a stop to this madness!

He took a shuddering breath and turned to look at Ryūji. His heart clenched and it took all of his willpower to keep the grief from showing on his face. His fingers tightened their hold on Ryūji’s. Something deep and dark opened inside of him, filling him with neverending emptiness. He opened his mouth, far from ready to say the words, to shoot down and trample on any hopes Ryūji might have had for their shared future. 

But the words wouldn’t come.

They shriveled away and hid in the corners of his mind. They slipped between his imaginary fingers, avoiding capture and disappearing from his head, rendering him basically speechless. Suddenly he couldn’t remember the words anymore. It was like something inside of him tried to prevent him from doing it. It might have been his demon side’s possessiveness or just his own guilt. Ultimately, he really didn’t want to add anything to the ever growing pile of secrets, but what else could he do?

“Rin, hey. We don’t have to talk about it just yet, if you don’t want to”, Ryūji’s gentle voice cut through Rin’s mental spiral. He had risen to his elbows and was leaning towards Rin with his brows furrowed in a concerned frown. “Well, I guess we’ll have to at some point. But it doesn’t have to be today. I can wait. And even if you were to reject me, we’ll still be friends, got it?”

It was almost unfair how gentle and understanding Ryūji was being. Usually, they butted heads over the smallest things. But maybe being together in a life and death situation brought people together, even without crushes and love confessions.

Rin nodded slowly. “I– I still need to think about this. But. I guess we could… talk, I mean”, he said. His face was heating up and he had to resist the urge to pull his duvet up to cover up his embarrassment. Then, before getting cold feet, he continued: “Why– why do you even like me like that? At the start of the year, I honestly thought you hated me. What changed? When?”

“I’ve never hated you. Surely, you grated on my nerves, and you still do, sometimes. But… I don’t know what I was feeling, but not hate. Never”, Ryūji replied slowly, the redness on his face rivaling Rin’s. And Rin couldn’t help but admire how cute Ryūji looked with face flustered and unkept hair falling down like that. “I realized I like you a lot more than a friend after the training camp – when we almost thought you had died in those flames. The thought of losing you was unbearable.” 

Ryūji paused and took a shuddering breath. Even a month later, most of them still couldn’t think about the camping trip without feeling shivers running down to their spines. Meanwhile, Rin tried desperately to calm down his racing heart. Hearing Ryūji talk about his feelings towards him so casually, was a bit too much.

“But I– I felt conflicted”, Ryūji continued, obvious to Rin’s inner turmoil. His fingers tightened around Rin’s for a moment, and there was a brief flash of pain and sadness in his faraway eyes. “I didn’t know whether you’d reciprocate, and more importantly, I felt I had a duty to my temple. I had to preserve the bloodline, and that usually doesn't work out between two guys. So, I tried to suppress my feelings and move on.”

Something twisted inside of Rin at the thought of Ryūji forgetting him and moving on. But wasn’t that what the logical part of his mind wanted? No matter what his heart yearned for.

“That didn’t work very well, I suppose. The night we got drunk, I lost myself completely, and you– you didn’t seem entirely against the idea”, Ryūji carried on with his tale while cradling his fingers through his hair in a somewhat nervous gesture. “But with everything going on, I didn’t have much time to dwell on it. Until the Impure King destroyed what remained of our temple, and I realized there might be nothing to inherit anymore. I had prepared my whole life for nothing. But at the same time it felt liberating. For the first time in my life I was truly free. Free to do whatever I wanted, free to pursue whoever I wanted.”

His determined eyes found Rin’s.

“And that whoever happens to be you, Rin”, he finished, face flushed and looking only slightly embarrassed. “So that’s basically it.”

Rin gulped, feeling hot under Ryūji’s intensive stare. He couldn’t fathom how Ryūji could say something like that with an almost straight face. Sometimes the guy was just too honest. A complete opposite to Rin, who was about to topple down under the pile of secrets. “I– I see. So that’s why you have been behaving all weird the past month. But you still didn’t say why you like me.”

Ryūji frowned. “I already told you. Up on the mountain.”

“You called me insufferable”, Rin replied, slipping easily into the familiar banter. Joking made it easier to talk about such things. “Seriously, what kind of a love confession was that?”

“I didn’t really have time to plan it with pen and paper, you know. I thought we were going to die”, Ryūji said and paused for a moment, staring at Rin, head slightly tilted to the side. His other brow lifted and a challenging look appeared in his eyes. “What, are you asking me to do it again? Can’t get enough of my compliments?”

Rin let out a quiet groan and pulled the duvet over his burning face. “Please don’t.”

He didn’t think his poor heart could handle another confession so soon after the first one. 

Ryūji only chuckled at his reaction. “Don’t worry. I think I’ll save the re-confessions for later. I’ll tell you again when you decide to give us a shot.”

Rin peeked from under the blanket and gave Ryūji an incredulous look. The whole conversation was absurd. Had he actually died and gotten isekai’d in some weird parallel universe? “You’re awfully sure about how this is gonna go.”

“Well, unless you actually reject me, I’m gonna assume your answer is a strong ‘maybe’”, Ryūji replied a bit too shamelessly. To some it might have looked like fake confidence, but to Rin it felt like Ryūji saw straight through him and decided to just go for it. Gotta strike while the iron is hot and all that.

He let out a long exhale and lowered the duvet back to his chest. It was too hot to stay completely covered.

“Ryūji. I–” he started, mouth feeling dry. His heart begged him to reach out, pull Ryūji over and continue where they left off that night. However, in the back of his mind, the voice of reason kept cursing at his mental weakness, reminding him what he should actually be doing. But he still couldn’t find the words to do it. “I still need time to think. About all of this.”

“I get it, don’t worry. Sorry if I’m being too… forward”, Ryūji said with a hint of wistfulness in his voice and squeezed Rin’s hand gently. Then he dared to crack a small smile that showed his teeth. “And here I thought I’d get to take you to the stupid tower for our first date.”

“What? That’s definitely extortion!" 

That made Ryūji laugh out loud softly. “Calm down, I’m just messing with you. We have a day off tomorrow, and we thought of going sightseeing. I added the tower on the list for you.”

“Really? I thought you found the whole idea stupid.”

“Well, it is too touristy for my liking. But–”, Ryūji paused to wet his lips as some redness rose to his cheeks, “it’s important to you, so who am I to forbid you from visiting? Besides, I promised to take you there, didn’t I?”

“That’s– thanks”, Rin replied, not sure what else to say. The way Ryūji was putting it, it really sounded like a date. A date accompanied by the rest of their friends. Heat still lingered on his face when he decided to go with the teasing route. Teasing and bantering always worked when the conversation was getting too overwhelming. “You sure, it’s not just you secretly who wants to finally visit the tower, though?”

“Oh, shut up already”, Ryūji replied halfhearteningly, his ears still adorably pink. Then he cleared his throat and started getting into a more upright position. “Anyways, I think I should finally go to inform your brother that you’re awake. He’s been waiting for you to wake up for some time now.”

Rin groaned and pressed himself against his pillows. He did not look forward to one of Yukio’s lectures. He almost wished his brother would just get on with it and exorcise him on the spot.

He felt Ryūji giving his hand one last squeeze before letting go and moving to stand up. The absence of warmth struck something inside of him, and a sudden urgency filled his mind. With the tower and Yukio long forgotten, he sat up and reached his fingers towards Ryūji, seizing his wrist in a gentle but firm grip.

“Ryūji, wait. I–”, he started, unsure. It was strange how fast he had adapted to calling Ryūji by his first name. “Will we really remain friends, even if I– If I can’t–”

Despite his pathetic inability to finish his sentence, Ryūji seemed to understand. He turned towards Rin, eyes soft with the tiniest hint of melancholy. His lips curled into a small, tender smile that tried to be reassuring, but Rin could see the touch of uncertainty behind it.

“Of course. Nothing will ever change that”, he vowed. 

Rin wanted to believe Ryūji’s words, he truly did. But even if they managed to make their friendship work after the inevitable rejection, things would surely be awkward for a while. He had seen enough TV dramas to know that. And, if the whole Satan thing was to come to the light… he was sure Ryūji would take his promise back immediately. 

It was easy to make promises like that when you didn't know the whole picture.

He nodded slowly and let go of Ryūji’s wrist. His hand felt cold without Ryūji’s warmth.

Ryūji didn’t move away right away. Instead, he remained sitting on the bed, his hand hovering for a few seconds before he retracted it and lowered it to his lap. His eyes were narrowed and brows creased ever so slightly as he kept studying Rin’s face in a palpable concern.

Rin shifted, somewhat uncomfortable under Ryūji’s piercing gaze. Some of his doubt must have been visible on his features.

“I truly mean that”, Ryūji added after a few moments with a tender voice. His fingers curled on his lap, restless, as if he wanted to reach out but didn’t quite dare.

“Okay”, Rin said and twisted his lips into a small, somber smile. Even if Ryūji’s promise wouldn’t hold in the end, at least, at the moment, the guy seemed to be honest with his words. “I believe you.”

He could see his words did little to convince Ryūji, but fortunately the other didn’t seem to want to press the issue further.

Ryūji let out a deep sigh and stood up. “Alright. I’m gonna go now. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah. Can’t say I look forward to Yukio’s lecture, though.”

Ryūji chuckled at that. “He’s just worried. You’ll survive.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

After the door had closed behind Ryūji, Rin let out a deep breath and slumped over himself. Without Ryūji’s presence, the air in the room suddenly felt almost unbearably thick. The walls were too close. He felt like suffocating. He shouldn’t be there. He didn’t deserve to be there in Ryūji’s room, being cared for like someone important. 

The little strength he had managed to regain during his sleep seeped out of his limbs, leaving him sitting there like a broken doll. His breath hitched and his hands started to shake, as the negative feelings, he had tried to hide and keep at bay ever since waking up, made their viscous comeback. After everything he had done and lied about, he didn’t feel like he was worthy of such gentle words, looks and touches. He didn’t have the right to yearn so openly for Ryūji’s affections. He was a goddamn demon, the son of Satan of all things – he didn’t get to have a happy ending.

Sensing his distress, Kuro stood up from his pillow, slipped on his lap and pushed gently against his chest like a proper emotional support animal. Grateful for his familiar’s grounding presence, Rin wrapped his trembling hands around the cat Sidhe and buried his face into the black, silken fur. If Kuro minded his fur getting wet, he did not say anything.

“What am I going to do?”