Chapter Text
Robby was getting too old to be surprised at anything.
He's seen literally everything now. Working at the ED has taught him to expect the most unexpected things, and even if it didn't get easier with time, it became a bit more normal, at least. He's seen it all.
A fork stuck in a girl's nose, a finger dismembered and put together again, scalp burned with a fireplace poker, because two sisters wanted to give themselves curls for their prom. Men coming in with shampoo bottles up their asses, claiming they fell on it, and it was a lucky day if it was just a shampoo bottle. He's seen toys, fruits, a TV remote, and a candle on the X-rays, because it was definitely a better idea to use an electronic Buzz Astral that opened its wings inside than a dildo. No, that would be gay. Buzz Astral it is. He'll always remember Perlah's face when she put her gloves on to take the toy out of a forty-year-old father of four who claimed he slipped and happened to land on the poor astronaut.
People somehow broke their legs while walking, lost teeth and swallowed them like candy, ate not-so-edible things because the Internet told them it would make their skin glow, came in with rotting flesh because they thought it would heal on its own if they just washed it with some soap and warm water for a week straight. An arm rotated backwards at the elbow, black vomit, a cheater's lips sewn together by his wife, he had to mentally congratulate the woman on her technique with that one. Stitches of a surgeon, and she was a car mechanic. Clearly missed her calling.
He was too old to be surprised anymore. And yet, Dennis Whitaker was a shocker to him.
The quickly growing fascination he had for the student caught him completely off guard at first. Dennis was unassuming. Clumsy, nervous, a bit naive. Inexperienced. Robby had to check the man's application to make sure he's actually twenty-seven. He behaved like it was his first day alive sometimes.
He was also clearly a quick learner, passionate about the job, grateful for the opportunity. Empathetic and a bit too soft for an ER doctor, but he'll get there. He took notes on every case he saw, even if it wasn't his patient, he stood in the corner, scribbling quickly, holding his tiny notebook in his hands and looking up as if he was afraid of making noise by accident. Receiving affection was alien to him. He had abnormal difficulty with recognizing friendly banter from true irritation, and looked at everyone with those sad, tired eyes like he was ready to apologize for the inconvenience of taking up space.
But when someone showed him kindness, patience, and gratitude, he was glowing. Smiling ear to ear when a patient thanked him, clapping his hands with excitement when he figured something out, straightening his back with pride when Robby congratulated him. He took every advice in, asked for help when he needed it, and adapted to the extreme conditions they worked in, he was marvelous.
After a while, he was much less uptight with others his age at the ER, Santos, King, Javadi, even though she was younger than him, she often was the more confident one. He moved a bit more smoothly, didn't try so hard to disappear, learned to face his fears much better under Mohan's careful eye. Smiled more. Looked healthier.
He didn't back off when Robby cornered him, he didn't move away when Robby's hands always rested on the student's shoulder, back, or neck. He talked to him without breaking eye contact now, a skill he clearly had to work on to master. Nodded and thanked for the consultations, asked if he's needed when he was free for a minute or two. Dana adored him. She claimed he was an odd kid who would fit right in with the rest of them. Garcia claimed they're all odd down here after all.
Dennis wasn't the first talented, if slightly awkward and clumsy, student Robby had. It was the effect he caused on Robby that shocked the attending. He shouldn't be this into it. Into him.
He was.
Dennis was simultaneously his own unique person and a mix of Robby's youth staring right back at him, a little bit of Jack's curls and sense of duty, too. A bit of that classic farm boy image everyone had in their minds, especially in a big city. A surprise here and there, how he could recite the Bible in the middle of a mass casualty or how he could catch a rat with his bare hands, despite not being able to shake a bottle without spilling its contents over his scrubs. He was all good intentions dressed in bad luck, nerves wrapped in a true need to prove himself, intellect mixed with a sweet naivety of an outsider, talent fighting with insecurity, all stored in that pretty head of his, resting on wide collarbones and warm shoulders Robby loved to grab whenever he could.
Dennis distracted him at work and consumed his thoughts between his shifts, and there was fuck all he could do about it. He did his best to hide it and hoped it would suffice. No one, besides Jack, had to know that he wondered how Dennis behaved when he was more relaxed, what movies he liked, what food, how he liked to be kissed, and if those blue eyes darkened when he came. Those are just thoughts, not exactly bad ones, either. Just thoughts. Inside thoughts that Robby kicked and pushed around his mind, hoping to contain them in a spot he could ignore.
He watched Dennis pick his next case on the board, standing with Santos and talking quietly. These two have become weirdly familiar with each other, and that was the least possible thing Robby could expect out of his new staff. He'd expect Dennis to stick to Mel more, they seemed to be odd in a similar way. Santos was a force to be reckoned with, and Dennis usually hid from such forces.
Robby fixed his glasses on his nose, typing on a patient's chart slowly. Santos and Dennis played rock, paper, scissors over something. Dennis lost and groaned with a low laugh, getting a sympathetic pat on his back. He fixed the stethoscope on his neck and headed to his patient, jogging through the bay as he spotted Doctor Collins. Robby sighed, not lifting his head.
"Whitaker, what did I say about running in the ER?"
Dennis slowed down immediately.
"Sorry! Won't happen again."
It was only the millionth time Robby's heard that sentence. Dennis caught up to Doctor Collins, and in a moment, he was rushing the opposite way again, only slowing down when he was passing Robby, as if that worked. Kids these days.
Robby rubbed his tired eyes, checking the board as he stood up. Perlah showed him the CT scan of a patient who fainted at a bus stop this morning. Mild concussion, as to be expected. He took the tablet to go to the patient with the results, and was stopped by McKay before he could reach the room.
"Hey, can I talk to you?"
Robby looked at her, hooking his glasses on his scrub top. She looked a bit nervous, slightly on edge, playing with her fingers.
"Yeah, of course. Is everything alright?"
"Yes, yes, just…can we talk after the shift?"
Now he was getting worried. Cassie was usually very composed. He nodded, frowning.
"Always. Did something happen with you or a patient?"
"It's uh, it's quite private, actually."
Private?
He did consider them colleagues, of course, he liked Cassie as a person. She was a bit reserved, but always nice and tactful. He had no idea why she'd chosen him out of all people to discuss anything private, though. She seemed to be much closer to Mateo or Victoria. Maybe she needed an opinion from someone more experienced.
"Okay." He hummed, nodding again. "Catch me after the shift, then."
"Thanks." She exhaled, quite relieved. "Are you headed to Mrs Adder?"
He lifted the tablet.
"CT scan is back. Concussion."
"Figured." She looked over his shoulder, and her eyes brightened slightly. "I'll go get my student to check out triage."
She walked past him towards Javadi, who emerged from the bathroom, looking through her notes. Robby shouted after the resident.
"Discharge first!"
"Already did, three beds ready in a minute!"
"Good." He nodded. "Glad to know someone is listening to me here."
He had to take a small step back when he walked into Mrs Adder's room and found Whitaker there, talking with the woman while taking notes.
He was also way too old for getting warm all over at the sight of someone, especially if he saw the young man just a few minutes ago, but here he was, clearing his throat and rubbing his neck to cover up the fact that he had forgotten why he came here. Dennis grew his hair out a bit, it curled around his ears nicely, and a few strands were trapped under the stethoscope on his neck.
"Whitaker."
Dennis looked up, smiling softly.
"Doctor Robby. I checked Mrs Adder's breathing again, she's feeling a bit light-headed. All clear."
Robby nodded, standing by the bed.
"It's probably the stress. And the mild concussion you have, Mrs Adder." He smiled at the patient, a young woman who was very much a hypochondriac, moving around the bed nervously. "Not to worry, it's not serious. Has our neurologist consultant talked to you already?"
The woman nodded, her fingers tight around the edge of her blouse.
"Yes, he said he'll report to…someone."
"I caught him on his way out." Dennis said, going through his notes. "No memory loss, alert and oriented, which we already knew, pupils even and reactive still, balance fine. No alarming symptoms."
Robby nodded slowly, opening the CT scan.
"How is the pain, Mrs Adder?"
"My head's killing me a bit." She sat up straighter, looking at the scan. "Did I have a stroke or something?"
"No." Robby shook his head lightly, glancing at Dennis. He was more than glad the student wanted to help, but he was also selfishly aware that his presence made Robby lose his train of thought at times. He explained the scan quietly, pointing at the screen. "There's no neurological damage, as we stated. Are you feeling nauseous?"
The woman joined her hands together, stressed as if this were a school exam.
"Not really, no."
"Well, don't hesitate to call a nurse in if you do. If any of your symptoms worsen, let us know, but for now, I'd say you're very lucky. Whitaker?" He looked at the student, and Dennis blinked at him, listening. "What pain meds should we prescribe Mrs Adder?"
"Painkillers, paracetamol. No NSAIDs for the first few hours at least." He looked at the confused patient with a calming smile. "No Advil, Motrin, no ibuprofen, to put it simply."
Robby hummed.
"And why is that?"
"Because they can affect blood clotting and may increase the risk of internal bleeding in the brain." He stated slowly, looking at his notes again, and raised his eyebrows as the young woman inhaled sharply. "Not that you have any internal bleeding, of course. No worries there. We just don't want to increase the risk."
Mrs Adder wiped her face with her hand.
"What if I do have internal bleeding?"
"Then we will help with that." Robby closed the scan. "You should stay a few hours for observation, but you should be ready to go home soon. Did we find the reason for the fainting, Whitaker?"
"Yes, but…"
"Then why was nothing reported to me?" He asked before Dennis could explain. "Did something show up on the labs?"
Mrs Adder looked down at her hands, her cheeks turning red. Dennis looked between them, hiding his notebook.
"Can I talk to you, Doctor? Outside."
Robby straightened his back, gesturing to the door.
"If you insist."
Dennis smiled at the patient politely, excusing them both. He closed the door to the room as they walked out, taking a few steps to the side and crossing his arms on his chest as Robby looked at him.
"It's nothing medical." Dennis said quietly, looking at the busy corridor to make sure no one heard them. "Nothing came up on the labs, no chronic illnesses."
"Then what made her faint?"
"It's uh, it's a private matter for her."
Robby exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair.
"This is an ER, we get pretty private here, Whitaker."
Dennis must have realised he won't win here and leaned in, whispering.
"She saw a photo and felt…a bit weak in the knees. Lack of sleep last night did the rest. I'm sure you can tell she's an emotional person."
"A bit of a panicker, I'd say."
Dennis sighed at the wording.
"I suggested she could ask Kiara about resources concerning OCD." He said, and immediately continued as he could see Robby was already getting angry at him for not consulting this. "Suggested. We talked a little bit, she opened up to me, I just…I didn't want to embarrass her in front of you."
Robby frowned, still confused.
"Why would she be embarrassed? Because she fainted over some photograph?"
"Her girlfriend sent it to her." Dennis exhaled as Robby still stood there, eyebrows furrowed, head tilted to the side with no understanding. "It was a nude, there, happy? She fainted over a nude."
Robby blinked.
"Like a…a naked…portrait, you mean?"
Dennis chuckled at that, nodding.
"Yeah, that's how they're called."
"People send those things these days? Like a, like a selfie, or…"
"Yes. Don't bring it up with her, she was mortified when she had to explain it to me." Dennis looked up at him, clearly proud of the trust the patient gave him. "She has symptoms of OCD, not our branch of care. Her brain just works a bit too fast for her to catch up with it, and she either stops breathing or can't stop at all."
"Yes, I know how it works, Whitaker." Robby wiped his face, the tips of his ears red. He exhaled slowly. "Good call, then. How did you make her tell you?"
Dennis shrugged, looking away.
"I told her I've seen and done many embarrassing things in my life. She talked about her girlfriend a bit, and I suppose that's something I have experience with."
Robby felt his heart drop to his stomach at that.
"Y-yeah?" He asked, clearing his throat and forcing a smile. "Can't say I'm surprised. Uh, Santos, I assume?"
"Yeah." Dennis smiled, laughing softly. "I mean, I shouldn't…tell you that."
Robby felt like fainting himself now.
Way too old for this. Way too old. Jack will laugh at him when he wails about it on their Saturday evening debrief sessions with beer and an action movie on the TV.
What did he expect? He knew they were close. Dennis seemed to enjoy Trinity's presence a lot. They arrived at work at the same time. Santos was Whitaker's age. She was beautiful. Smart. Robby didn't take Dennis for someone who had a thing for sarcastic, rough-around-the-edges, cold at first meeting people, but okay.
"It's fine, I'm…I'm happy for you two." Robby looked at his boots, which didn't help, as Dennis was standing so close that their shoes almost touched. Dennis had sneakers on today. Green ones. "It's not against the hospital rules for the staff to date each other."
Dennis shifted on his feet, lowering his hands and putting them in his pockets with a confused look.
"What?" He asked, realising what Robby said only after a second. "I meant lesbians. That's what I have experience with, listening to lesbians talking about girls. Seems silly, but can be useful."
Robby just looked at him, his brain going painfully slow. Was he this behind on the newest dating trends, or what? Last time he checked, lesbians didn't date men. Dennis was a man.
"And Santos is…"
"A lesbian. And my flatmate, so. Simple as that." Dennis exhaled, looking over Robby's shoulder. "And I see she's calling for me. I'll get the meds for Mrs Adder right away, if that's all?"
Robby nodded slowly, watching him go.
Then he had to almost run to the bathroom with how red he was getting, irritated at his own stupidity. He passed McKay on his way there, and she raised her eyebrows, confused, looking between Robby and Dennis as they parted ways.
He avoided Whitaker for the rest of the shift.
McKay, on the other hand, could not avoid Victoria if she tried.
The thing about Victoria was that she was clearly the smartest person in the room by any means, yet she craved approval like a newborn horse nudging its head into its mommy's neck, asking for a pet on the back. She wasn't experienced, of course not, that would come with time. She was going to finish med school at twenty-one years old, though, and she was a walking encyclopedia. A stubborn, persistent little mouse, eyes of a fawn, face of an angel, brown, thick hair falling in a tight ponytail on her back, she smiled, and the whole room lit up, and her laugh could be heard on the other hospital floors, yet she was always extremely self-conscious about it. She followed McKay like a baby duck, notebook in hand, stating she worked hard to be here and fighting for her place in the sun, when she was clearly still unsure how to stand her ground correctly.
When she corrected patients on their grammar, McKay felt pride like no other. When she screwed up, because everyone always did from time to time, she did so with good intentions and guilt written all over her face, desperate to do things right, get ahead of the curve. She was already ahead of everyone. She went to college at thirteen. Cassie couldn't spell "resuscitation" properly at thirteen.
She was quite delicate, typical for a young woman of her size and style, but she learned quickly and didn't let her sweet nature interfere with the extreme reality of working at the ER. It was quite inspiring, really. Cassie remembered her early twenties, the chaos that followed, the way the world treated her so harshly, and demanded things she couldn't deliver. She would never describe herself as delicate, she could fight fiercely, and the ankle monitor she still had to wear was solid proof of that, but she wanted to stay kind, empathetic, and calm when everyone around her needed it. And she could see that Victoria was similar to her in that way. A bit more cocky, which was amusing at times. Victoria hated stupid people doing dumb things and making their work harder.
She nodded at everything Cassie said, smiled softly, and looked down. She feigned confidence well, but her nerves peeked through, and the ER was a challenging place for such an organised, put-together person used to plans and schedules. She grew up as a prodigy, her parents' careers shadowing over her every time she took a test and scored less than a hundred, every time she went faster, better, she had to keep up with the new standard, and this place was anything but calculated or predictable. No plans worked when you had to go from talking to a patient to performing CPR on them in a minute. And Victoria was baptized by fire during that hell of a shift when Pittfest happened. There wasn't a thing she couldn't handle by now. She'll go far, achieve great things, and save a lot of lives. She was ambitious, determined, talented beyond words, and so, so beautiful.
She started braiding her hair for work, it was easier to deal with during long shifts. A single braid, or two braids, regular or French, Dutch, one time. Gathered into a bun or let free, exposing her jawline and cheeks, a few tiny strands falling out by her temples in the evening. They made her eyes look even bigger, a bit darker, those long eyelashes made for adoration, skin glowing with sweat after a rush, neck decorated with a simple golden necklace. McKay had to restrain herself from fixing it sometimes, putting the tiny lock in the back of her neck, instead of her collarbone. She had to put her hands in her pockets to keep them away from the student.
She wondered how Javadi looked with her hair let down, long and dark, on a pillow, or flowing down her body, the delicate curves she could spot under her clothes. How her eyes would look up at her if she lifted her chin with her fingertips, how Victoria would breathe in quietly, as she usually did when she lost herself in the moment. She smelled of flowers, with some fruit undertone, sweet and fresh, and her lips always looked so soft, made for kissing.
She walked so closely to McKay that when Cassie stopped, the young woman bumped into her with her notebook.
"Ah, sorry." She mumbled, lowering her head. Cassie smiled, looking at the board.
"No worries. Robby wants discharges first, as usual, so let's get back to that. Could you handle room nine for me?"
Victoria nodded, looking at the details.
"Light diet for two to four days, lots of water, electrolytes?"
"Exactly." She smiled as Victoria quickly noted. Pretty handwriting for an aspiring doctor. "Which one would you do next?"
Victoria sighed, biting her lower lip, adorably focused.
"Room twelve has been here for six hours, we should sign him out if nothing's changing."
"Meet you there, then. Oh, and chart Lydia's lab results when you get a chance."
"Of course, Doctor McKay."
Cassie licked her lips, walking to room twelve slowly. Fuck.
It's not her fault that she liked smart, a little bit submissive, feminine girls. She just had good taste. The only problem was that her good taste manifested itself in the very being of a young student under her care. Too young. Way too young.
She cleared her throat, knocking on the door before entering.
"Mr Williams? How are you feeling?"
The elderly man waved his hand at the question, sitting up straighter.
"I'm perfectly good, Doctor. Let me go home."
"We will, when you're actually ready to go, sir." She looked at his stats, he came in with food poisoning, he was quite weak, and his blood results weren't good, either. "I take it the vomiting stopped?"
"Yes. I've just been lying here." He groaned, clearly impatient. "My idiot son should have never brought me in. Six hours in the waiting room and now this!"
"I assure you, we're doing everything we can to provide the best care possible." She stated, gesturing for him to lie down. "Let me check your blood pressure and temperature."
"What the hell for?"
"To rule out extreme dehydration, fever, or infection." Cassie heard Victoria's voice behind her as the student entered the room. She smiled, putting the tympanic thermometer inside the man's ear gently.
"Excellent, Doctor Javadi." She hummed, focused on the examination. "And we have a slight fever here. Javadi?"
Victoria stood by her side, looking at the statistics on the screen.
"Can I examine his stomach?"
McKay looked back at the man.
"Mr Williams, is it okay for a student Doctor to examine you? I assure you, she's our best."
The man sighed, nodding.
"Yeah, fine. Just give me something for the fever and let me go home."
"We'll see about that." Javadi hummed, clearly irritated by the impatience. Cassie looked away to hide her smile. "Breathe out slowly, please."
She pressed her gloved hands on the patient's belly, checking for abnormalities. McKay stood with her arms crossed, waiting.
"And?"
"Soft. Seems like a regular food poisoning."
"Except there's a fever, which means…"
"Infection." Javadi sighed, biting the inside of her cheek as she looked up at Cassie. "Stool culture test takes a bit too long...multiplex PCR panel? Salmonella."
McKay turned her head to the side.
"What makes you say that so quickly?"
Victoria pointed her pen at the patient.
"At the early medical assessment, Mr Williams said he ate raw oysters for dinner with his wife on Monday, and got sick last night. It takes six to seventy-two hours for the symptoms to appear, he's been having a bellyache, diarrhea, and he's…shivering as we speak." She looked the man up and down. "The multiplex PCR panel should give us a clear answer."
McKay nodded, swaying on her heels.
"Yes, but that will take a bit of time. Should we sign him out for the time being?"
"No, of course not." Javadi said, as if the question was absurd, and didn't even realise she sounded slightly arrogant, just looked down at her notes as Cassie smiled. "He's got hypertension and has a history of kidney problems. If it's salmonella, it could be lethal for someone his age."
Mr Williams sat up, his eyes widening.
"Lethal?"
"What Doctor Javadi meant is that you need to stay for observation, and we need to give you some antibiotics while waiting for the test results." She answered calmly. "You're in good hands, sir, but we need to monitor the infection."
He nodded, a bit pale now.
"O-okay."
"I'll send a nurse to give you the medicine, and we'll get back to you in a while, alright?" She patted Victoria on the back, gesturing to the door. "Good catch, Javadi."
Victoria smiled, looking away.
"Thank you."
"You might…" McKay led her to the corridor, lowering her voice. "...consider weighing your words a bit better with the patients, though, especially when it's all hypothetical. He's not going to die from salmonella."
Victoria raised her eyebrows, taken aback.
"Oh, yes, sorry. I, just…I…I mean, he could die." She stuttered, chuckling nervously. "But it's unlikely right now, so…yeah. I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Cassie smiled at her reassuringly. "You did great. Patients can get a bit…uneasy when they don't understand everything."
"Yes, of course. Of course. Thank you for telling me. I will remember that."
So eager to be the best at everything. Cassie sighed, still smiling.
"Did you deal with room nine?"
"Yes! And Robby signed the papers, too." She gestured towards the nurse's station, holding her notebook to her chest. "Should we check out triage?"
Bright girl.
"I'm ready when you are, so I say let's get it off our list."
Victoria chuckled so sweetly, in that odd, unique way of hers, nodding.
"Of course, ma'am. Anything you say goes."
Cassie could feel her blood flowing from her face directly down into her abdomen. Her mouth felt dry all of a sudden.
"You're so obedient." She stated, trying to sound teasing, like she was joking. She wasn't. "I mean, it's…it's good that you…work with others so well."
Victoria shrugged, fixing her hair, putting a stray strand behind her ear.
"It's easy to work with you. Under your orders." She smiled, like her words didn't sound completely wrong, taken out of context. "I don't think I'd be this compliant working under Doctor Robby. I prefer you anyway."
Fucking God, McKay could feel herself getting hot all over from the statement, the look, the soft voice, the way Victoria was so docile with it, like letting Cassie lead was the most natural thing in the world.
The resident had to clear her throat to speak.
"I'm glad, then. Why don't you, uh, go on your own for now, I have to…" She gestured towards Dana. "Check something! With Dana. Yes."
Victoria nodded with the sweetest, most understanding smile known to mankind.
"Absolutely, take your time." She hid her notebook in the pocket of her hoodie. "I'll wait for you there."
Such a good girl, fuck.
McKay nodded quickly, walking past her to join Dana. She sat down by one of the computers, hiding her face in her hands, watching Victoria walk to the waiting room. Dana raised her eyebrows.
"You alright, Cass?"
"Yhm."
"Want a RedBull?" Dana asked, the mother of the whole department. She handed Cassie a can when the resident nodded. "Whitaker was looking for you, by the way."
She nodded, opening the can and drinking quickly. Her mind was spinning.
"Which room?"
"Trauma one."
"On it."
"Attagirl." Dana hummed, following her with her eyes as Cassie stood up and stormed through the doors. She sighed, looking back at the tablet she held. "Fucking telenovela."
The shift couldn't end. It went on and on, the minutes slow and painful, patients mean, resources tight. Robby forgot McKay wanted to speak with him by the time he debriefed with his team, clapping his hands and letting everyone go home. He watched Dennis walk out with Santos, talking quietly and laughing, and felt like the biggest idiot on Earth.
Cassie tugged on the sleeve of his hoodie as he took his backpack from the locker. He raised his eyebrows.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Our talk?"
"Oh, shit, right." He rubbed his eyes, nodding. "Sorry, rough day. What is it?"
She swallowed, looking back at the corridor.
"Is there any place a bit quieter than here?"
"Uh, we could go to floor eight, it's empty. Are you okay?"
She nodded, fixing her jacket. She let her hair down already, long and red.
"Yeah, just…need some privacy with this."
He nodded, gesturing towards the elevator.
"Come on, then."
He let her go first, sighed as he pressed the button, and swayed a bit, impatiently. Cassie was biting her fingernails by his side, watching the numbers on the screen change slowly.
They left at floor eight, walked through the door into the empty, unstaffed section of the hospital. Empty beds waited for patients, empty halls demanded doctors and nurses, yet Gloria claimed it was out of budget for now.
"So?" Robby exhaled, standing in front of Cassie in the dark, unlit corridor. It was quiet here, at least. "What's going on?"
McKay wiped her face with her hands, lowering her shoulders as she looked up at him.
"I wanted to talk to you…about the ethics of liking a med student."
He was sure he had misheard that at first.
A second passed, Cassie looked serious, and he went pale, his blood feeling cold in his veins.
She knew.
She figured it out, and now he was completely fucked. His secret was out.
"Fuck." He groaned slowly, looking away as he could finally speak. "Jesus."
"I know."
"Jesus." He repeated, feeling his hands shake as he left one to press his fingers at the bridge of his nose. "I mean…yeah, it's…it's bad, pretty bad, but it's not like anything's happening, you know?"
Cassie shrugged, crossing her arms at her chest, still awfully nervous.
"For now."
"Now and ever, nothing's gonna happen."
"How can you be sure?" She asked, her voice strained. "It's a fucking disaster, Robby, and working together doesn't help it."
He nodded, closing his eyes. She was right. Of course, she was, he needed someone to snap him out of it; he'd only told Jack, and Jack found it mostly amusing, slightly cute, for some reason, not serious. Cassie was dead serious.
"I know." He exhaled slowly, looking down at his shoes. There he was, an embarrassed fifty-four-year-old creep being called out by his coworker, at that. "Listen, the HR can't know about this, no one can."
Cassie huffed.
"I know that part. I'm asking you about a solution here."
"Do you think I know of one?" He asked louder, spreading his arms in resignation. "How did you even find out?"
Cassie blinked, as if she were a bit confused.
"What do you mean? I just…I felt it."
"Felt it? Or did he tell you?"
"Who?"
"Dennis."
Cassie looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, thinking for a moment.
"What does Dennis have to do with this?" She asked slowly. Robby was starting to get irritated at the lack of logic.
"I don't know, everything?" He asked, laughing shortly. "Did you seriously just… notice that I'm into him?"
Cassie stared at him for a long, quiet moment before she inhaled loudly and spoke even louder.
"You're WHAT?"
"Jesus." He looked around, as if anyone could hear them. "Quiet, would you?"
"Dennis Whitaker?" She asked, her eyes wide as she looked at him in disbelief. "You're into Dennis Whitaker? Your med student Dennis Whitaker?"
"Well, isn't this what we're talking about for fuck's sake?"
"No!" She hissed, putting her hands in her hair. "It's about me and Victoria!"
Robby frowned, shaking his head.
"What about you and Victoria?" He asked, and as the words left his mouth, he finally realised what was going on. "Oh my God."
Cassie laughed with no amusement behind it, nodding.
"Yeah, oh my God, exactly. You're into Whitaker, seriously?"
He huffed, rubbing his neck with his hands.
"You're into Javadi." He stated. "The twenty-year-old prodigy, whose mother and father, might I remind you, work at this very hospital?"
Cassie opened her mouth at the audacity of him lecturing her.
"You know, there are fewer years between me and Victoria than you and Dennis, right? I'm just twenty-two years older than her."
"Just! That's a relief. And Dennis is twenty-seven, that's different."
"You're also twice his age, Robby."
"I can't fucking help it." He leaned his back against the wall, lowering his head. "I tried, okay? I really tried. But he's so…so captivating. He pays attention to every little detail, he learns so quickly, he's got those corny, stupid jokes that just work somehow, so much empathy, so much…need for being useful, and his eyes are this amazing shade of blue that I can't get over no matter how hard I try."
Cassie sighed, calming down as she listened. She wrapped her arms around herself, looking away.
"Victoria's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." She said quietly, a soft, gentle relief washing over her as she could finally talk about it. "Incredibly smart, Robby. Smarter than me, and I've got a thing for women who are this way. I've never met someone so ambitious, so driven, she takes on every challenge, even if she's scared shitless, and no bar's too high for her, it's like there's not a limit to what she can achieve, and she's just starting, she'll be a doctor of a generation when she's my age. And God, her hair…her fucking hair…"
Robby nodded slowly, still looking at the floor.
"She's got nice hair, I'll give you that."
"Nice? It's ridiculous how beautiful it is. And the way she styles it, it's…" Cassie started pacing around in front of him, gesturing with her hands. "It's framing her face in this effortless way, and it looks so soft to touch, and it's always up, too…"
"Dennis grew out his hair as well."
"Right? I noticed." She nodded, glancing at him. "He looks...good."
"He looks stunning." Robby corrected her, exhaling as he lifted his face to the ceiling. "He's got visible curls now, McKay."
Cassie pressed her lips together.
"You always liked curly hair on people, right?" She asked, and Robby just nodded. "I should've figured it out, you're always touching him."
"I don't mean to. And not…not like that." He rubbed his eyes. "We're supposed to be their mentors, their teachers."
Cassie grimaced slightly.
"Yeah, I know. But they're so…"
"Yeah." He nodded, licking his lips. "I mean, if they weren't our students, then maybe…"
"Yes, totally different situation."
"Absolutely. And, I mean, they're finishing their rotation soon…"
"Right!" She pressed her fingers to her temples. "Problem solved."
Robby chewed on the inside of his cheek, thinking.
"What if they want to return for residency?"
Cassie looked up at him immediately.
"Do you think they want to?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "I mean, I won't encourage them just because…you know, we…but this ER could use such smart doctors…"
"It could, right."
"It's not like…" He gestured, not sure how to word it properly. "It's not like I'd like him to stay around for my sake."
"Absolutely." Cassie nodded. "I want whatever's best for Victoria."
"But it would…be nice to…"
"Yes. It would be nice to have them here." She cleared her throat, running a hand through her hair. "Objectively, of course."
"Yes." Robby nodded, and he wasn't sure either of them believed a single syllable of the bullshit that left their mouths now. "I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm…it's just thoughts."
Cassie walked in a circle in front of him, rubbing her tired neck and collarbones as she thought.
"It will probably go away, right?" She asked, sounding both hopeful and resigned. "We're too old for them."
Robby chuckled.
"Way too old." He watched her finally stop and slide down the wall to sit on the hospital floor, her legs straight, her hands on her thighs. She exhaled slowly, exhausted after the day, after all this. Her mind was racing, and he didn't have to ask to know that. "There's not much we can do, we're just people."
She nodded, looking ahead. He sighed, walking up to her and sitting by her side, slowly, groaning when his knees started hurting. He bent them to have a place to rest his elbows on.
They sat like this for a moment, just looking at the wall ahead.
"We're being very professional, though, right?" She asked, looking up at him. Robby nodded.
"Absolutely."
"They don't suspect anything?"
"Oh, no." He shook his head, exhaling. "Of course not."
A mile away from the hospital, in the nearest relatively nice bar, Dennis took a sip of his Cosmopolitan as Santos went to get more. He looked up at Victoria by his side, drinking orange juice, still too young to order herself anything strong.
"How are things with your ER mommy?"
Victoria smiled gently, looking at him.
"Got her to blush and run today, she's easy to turn on. Any day now." She said, and Dennis laughed. "And your old man?"
He leaned back in his chair.
"He grabbed me so hard yesterday, I have a bruise on my hip. And he thought I was dating Trinity." Dennis took another sip of his drink. "Now that I think about it, I cleared it up too quickly, there was some jealousy potential I could use there."
Victoria clicked her tongue.
"Amateur move. Think faster next time."
He could only agree with the young genius. If anyone were to give him advice on how to get your superior doctor to fuck you, Victoria was probably the best person he could ask.