Work Text:
If loving her is heartache for me
And if holding her means that I have to bleed
Then I am the martyr and love is to blame
She is the healing, and I am the pain
~~~~
“We’re here.”
Cooper lights a cigarette as he stops outside the brick building. It’s the only place still mostly put together in this abandoned town. Lucy stops a few paces behind him, holding tight to the straps of her backpack.
“This is New Vegas?” she asks.
He rolls his eyes. “D’ya listen to a goddamn word—? Never mind.” He takes a long drag. “No, this ain’t New Vegas. This place belongs to an old acquaintance o’ mine.”
“You mean there’s actually someone out here who likes you?”
He scoffs. “Never said that.” He tosses the twice used butt. “Stay out here while I go inside for a chat.”
“Why do I need to stay behind?”
“Why? ‘Cause ya don’t know when to keep yer goddamn mouth shut, that’s why.”
And that’s the only reason he gives her. Leaves out the reason that this place could have dangerous people and he’d rather not put her in the middle of a dangerous situation. He keeps that in mind while he ignores her pout, telling the mutt to stay behind, as well. Then he makes his way through the broken gate. Reaches the front door where two men are standing guard.
“What’s your offer?” one raider asks.
“Got some radscorpion stingers, Radaway, Rad-X, a few cans o’ purified water, and one hundred fifty caps.”
“Deal.” He collects the items from Cooper.
“No weapons beyond this point,” the second raider then says.
“That’s okay, I know—”
“Don’t matter who you know. Ain’t no weapons allowed inside.”
Cooper holds back a growl, reluctantly dropping his shotgun on the ground. He pulls off his bandoliers next. Drops his pistol. Leaves the knife in his boot because there’s no way in hell that he’s letting himself go anywhere completely unarmed. They look him over and give him the okay to head inside. He grumbles under his breath until he’s face to face with some kid.
“Welcome,” he greets Cooper. “You can follow me.”
“I know the way.”
“Boss prefers his guests be escorted.”
He bites his tongue. Just follows the kid as they weave through the hallways. The kid is yammering on about something the entire time, but Cooper isn’t listening. Relief sweeps over him when they finally reach the so-called throne room.
“Vinnie,” Cooper says by way of greeting. “Been a long time.”
“Thirty-some-odd years, yeah?” Vinnie says. “What cave were you hidin’ in, Ghoul?”
“Buried alive down in Mexico.”
“Sounds like quite the vacation.”
“Eh, that’s one way you could put it.”
He dismisses the kid. “Don’t mind Sonny there. He’s my new protégé.” He folds his hands on his lap. “What can I do for ya?”
“First off, was it really necessary to make me leave my weapons at the door?”
“Rules are rules.” He gestures around them. “This is neutral ground.”
Cooper nods his head. “You still know the ins and outs o’ this area?”
“Depends on what kinda information you’re lookin’ for.”
“Lookin’ for a man in Power Armour, most likely on his way to New Vegas.”
Vinnie quirks an eyebrow. “A Brotherhood Knight?”
“Nah, he ain’t a Knight. He commandeered the mech suit.”
“And why are you goin’ after him?”
He doesn’t want to give away too much information. Cooper may not be an unknown commodity in the Wastes, but his search for his family is and he’d much rather keep it the way. On top of that, no one in this building needs to know about the Vaultie waiting for him outside.
“He owes me a bounty.”
He hums thoughtfully. “That’s unlike you to let someone get away.”
“Let’s call it a…circumstantial release.”
“C’mon, ain’t no need for those fancy words here.”
“Fine.” He shrugs his shoulders. “What can I say, then? Got bored and thought I’d enjoy the hunt.”
“Based on your vacation story, sounds like the poor bastard would’ve had a thirty-year headstart.” He tilts his head. “Be real with me, Ghoul. Why you goin’ after this dress-up soldier?”
Just then, Lucy comes stumbling in. Cooper inhales sharply. “Goddamn it. Didn’t I tell ya to stay—?” Sonny follows behind her, holding a gun to her head. Now Cooper sneers. “All right. The fuck is this about?”
“Ah, yes, I almost forgot,” Vinnie starts. “We had someone come here before you. They’d seen ya headin’ my way and offered five hundred caps for your disposal.”
Tch. So much for neutral ground.
“He ain’t got any weapons, right, Sonny?” Vinnie checks.
“No, ‘course not. That was part of the fuckin’ deal.”
Cooper cautiously steps towards the protégé. “You can have me, just leave her outta this. She ain’t got nothin’ to do with whatever vendetta—”
“Oh, I think she does.” Sonny traces her jawline with the pistol. “Y’know, I was thinkin’ about puttin’ a bullet in her at first and draggin’ her dead body in here, but…” He wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her into him. “Now I’m thinkin’ I wanna put somethin’ else in her.” Cooper growls low in the back of his throat while Lucy struggles to break free. “C’mon, baby doll, ain’t no way you’d rather stay with that freak.”
Lucy spits in his face. Elbows him in ribcage and manages to knock his gun out of his hand. That’s when all hell breaks loose. All the guards show up, and bullets start flying in every direction as Cooper crosses the short distance between himself and the Vaultie. He grabs any gun he can and starts firing. Hits Sonny in the head, first. Then Vinnie catches three bullets in his chest. Soon enough, the only sound left is the ringing in his ruined ears. He looks around and sees no sign of—
“Lucy?”
There’s a faint, muffled call and he realises she’s stuck beneath a body. He quickly tracks her down and kneels beside her to roll the body off her. Unsteadily, she moves onto her hands and knees before hurling into the pool of blood. Cooper instinctively holds her hair out of her face. Afterwards, she’s trembling, so he takes her into his arms.
“I’m sorry.” It’s barely a whisper.
“Ain’t yer fault,” he says softly. “Let’s get outta here before someone realises somethin’ is seriously wrong.”
They reconnect with the mutt outside, guarding Cooper’s discarded belongings. He gets everything put back together, and then they’re on their way. They don’t stop until they’re somewhere that he believes they’ll truly be safe for a while. Lucy has been quiet since they left the scene. He never imagined he’d hate her silence so much.
Once they’re in a motel room, he closes all the blinds and makes sure everything is properly locked. Lucy is sitting on the edge of the single bed, gaze turned downward. Dogmeat is sitting by her, whimpering and pawing at her, but she doesn’t even seem to notice. Cooper swallows hard before daring to kneel in front of her.
“What’s on yer mind, Vaultie?”
She remains silent for a while. Eventually, she tilts her head. “You…tried protecting me.” His eyes narrow. “Sorry. I know it’s stupid, but I—” She starts laughing, shaking her head. “Forget it.”
No. He doesn’t want to forget it. He wants to know every thought going through her head. Despite the short amount of time that they’ve been traveling together, she’s made quite the impact on him. Because of her, he’s been feeling things he hasn’t felt in decades. The desire to protect. To comfort. To…touch.
“I ain’t gonna let anyone hurt you,” he says. “That’s my job.”
Lucy laughs even more at that comment, and the fact that she understood it was a joke means something to him.
She finally looks up at him. “Of course.” Her expression swiftly turns somber again. “Who do you think paid them to kill us?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Difficult to say for certain. Ain’t gonna lie, I’ve made quite a few enemies in my extended lifetime. Plus, people don’t like ghouls in general. Good chance they thought I was holdin’ ya captive, as well.”
She hums. “If we were to get separated,” she goes on, “and…raiders found me… They wouldn’t kill me, would they? Instead, they would—”
“It’s a good possibility, yeah.”
“You won’t let that happen.”
It’s more of a statement than a question. Cooper shakes his head in confirmation, and Lucy nods hers in response.
“Ya got fight in ya, Vaultie. You shouldn’t be too worried.”
“I’ve never had to fight more than one person at a time. It was supervised fighting in the Vault. Then there was my altercation with you, and then… Well, the one time there was more than one person coming after me, it didn’t take long for them to overtake me. That was also inside a Vault, though, not raiders or fiends who would’ve—”
He absentmindedly takes her hands in his, and her breath catches in her throat. “Hey, ya don’t gotta worry ‘bout it so long as you’re with me.”
“Sure, but…this is just temporary, isn’t it? Until we get to New Vegas?"
Temporary. Of course. He’d almost forgotten. Lucy MacLean has been the first constant in his life since— “Reckon that depends on what we find in New Vegas.” A pause. “Or what we don’t find.”
She presses her lips together, and he can tell she’s holding back a smile. “Fair enough. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.”
He looks down at their clasped hands. What the fuck is he doing? This is far too close. He clears his throat and gets back to his feet, dropping her hands. She presses them to the mattress, under her thighs.
“I’m sorry.”
He doesn’t say anything more. Tries not to think about his gut telling him that he will not be leaving her behind anytime soon. For any reason.
If there’s anything Cooper has learned, it’s that he can’t—shouldn’t—take his eyes off Lucy for even a second. He’s in the middle of bartering in the small, sketchier-than-usual town they’re passing through. Stay close. That’s all he said to her, hoping she’d actually listen for once. Then the mutt starts whining. He tries to ignore it, not turning until she finally nudges his hand with her nose.
Lucy is gone.
“Where the fuck did she go?”
Without another word, he abandons the trade to follow the mutt. She’s quick on the trail and he’s quick to follow. Makes sure no one else is following. Watches as the mutt turns one last corner, at the outskirts of the town by now, before moving into a defencive pose and growling. Cooper pulls his gun out in preparation. Catches up to find Lucy surrounded and, once again, being held at gunpoint.
“Goddamn fiends,” he mutters under his breath.
“Move along,” one of them speaks up. “Ain’t nothin’ to see here.”
“Ya got somethin’ that belongs to me.”
The fiend grins, mostly toothless. “Finders keepers.”
“If ya know what’s good for ya—”
"Nuh-uh. If you know what’s good for ya, Ghoul, you’ll be on yer merry way.”
Lucy looks…defeated. “Just go,” she says. “Don’t worry about me.”
Cooper clenches his jaw. It would be so fucking easy to walk away. So easy to turn around and leave. Forget all about the Vault-dweller. After all, it’s not like her survival should be his responsibility.
So why the fuck can’t he move?
“I ain’t takin’ another goddamn step without her,” he says instead.
Next thing he knows, everyone is diving for cover. Cooper tells the mutt to stay put as he attempts to track down Lucy. Pokes his head out and weaves through the array of ammo. Soon enough, he catches sight of her ponytail. He works out a route to take to her before she’s kicking the fiend holding her captive, grabbing their weapon, and making a run for it. Cooper runs to meet her halfway. She changes her direction when she spots him. He continues shooting, taking out a few more fiends.
When he finally reaches her, it’s just in time to catch a bullet in his arm that would’ve hit Lucy’s shoulder. He drags her behind the nearest wall of coverage.
“Holy moly, are you okay?” she asks.
“Should be askin’ you that.”
“I’m not the one who just got shot.”
“Don’t worry ‘bout it. ‘Sides, I got enough bullet wounds for the both of us. Ain’t no need for you to start yer own collection.”
She nods her head. “How do we get out of here?”
“That’s what I’m tryna figure out.” He peeks out of cover again, attempting to get a better bearing of their surroundings. “We could move back into the town.”
“I don’t want any innocent bystanders—”
“Please, ain’t no one innocent ‘round these parts, I can tell ya that much.” He dips back down. “Either we make a run for it, or we get rid o’ the rest of 'em.”
She swallows hard. Looks at the gun in her hand. He sees the resolve in her eyes as she lifts her gaze back to his. “Okie-dokie.”
“Atta girl.”
With that, they jump back into the firefight. Admittedly, Lucy is a much better shot than Cooper would’ve given her credit for. He keeps a close eye on her. On any fiends that try getting too close. That’s how he ends up with another shot in his back. And a second. And a third. By the fourth, Lucy realises what’s happening. It’s also at this point that Cooper realises just what kind of ammo they’re using. Plasma. Fuck. He doesn’t have time to heal. Falls to his knees, his vision going out of focus. He blacks out, finding himself on the ground when he comes to, Lucy directly above him. Blacks out again before coming to and seeing Lucy’s attention solely on him. Her mouth is moving but he can’t make out what she’s saying. Then he gets flashes of her waving her arms, as if trying to signal for help.
Everything goes dark.
When he wakes next, he’s in a dressed-up motel room. He grunts as he sits up. Tries to stretch, feeling the bandages wrapped around him. Takes the effort to rip them off. That’s when Dogmeat starts barking from her corner. Goddamn it. He hadn’t even noticed the mutt sleeping over there.
“Haven’t changed a bit, have ya?”
He looks from the mutt to the door as it opens, the owner of the voice entering. “Well, well, if it ain’t Miss Patti Lewis.”
“Never thought I’d see your sorry ass again.”
“Surprised you’re even helpin’ me.”
“Oh, don’t get the wrong idea. I ain’t doin’ this for you.”
“Ya need a favour, then.”
“From you? Never.” She barks out a laugh, shaking her head. “Nah, it’s that sweet young woman ya got out there. Begged me to patch ya up. Don’t know here the hell ya found her, but she’s a good one.”
He hums. “She is.”
From there, Patti finishes removing the bandages, checking his back. “Well, that all healed nicely, considering. Guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, though. What I am surprised by is the fact that ya managed to get taken down in the first place.”
“Was keepin’ an eye on the girl and lost track o’ my own surroundings.”
“I see.” She takes a stim-pack, inserting it into his shoulder. “Your clothes are on the back of the door. Ya should come down to eat once you’re ready.”
Cooper lets her leave before climbing out of bed. He’s a little sore, but nothing too bad. He rolls his shoulders and, just like that, feels good as new. Gets to his feet and grabs his shirt and vest from the hanger. Buttons them both up. Opts to leave his hat and duster behind for now. He whistles for the mutt, and the two of them are off.
When they get outside, he looks around the small settlement. It hasn’t changed much since the last time he passed through. Still made up of mostly ghouls but there are some humans around, as well. No sign of Lucy, but he knows she has to be here somewhere. Everyone is probably stealing her attention, enamoured by her. Not that he came blame them. She’s about the prettiest damn thing this Wasteland has seen in decades.
He’d never say that out loud. Especially not to the Vaultie.
Hmm… Maybe he should.
He spots Patti again, who merely rolls her eyes and waves him over. He mumbles under his breath and reluctantly goes to her.
“C’mon, she’s this way.” She leads him to Lucy. And when the Vault-dweller spots them, her face lights up. She calls his name, and he holds back a grimace. “Wow,” Patti breathes. “She got a name outta ya. Now I’m even more impressed.”
Lucy is standing in front of them before he can respond. “I’m so glad you’re all right,” she says. She pats Dogmeat on the head. “I was worried.”
“Ain’t no reason to worry ‘bout me,” he tells her. “How long—?”
“A couple days. That plasma gun really took it out of you. Somehow worse than the fiends I came across that were using teeth as ammo.”
Patti chuckles. “Sounds about right.” She puts her hands on her hips. “Lucy here has been the talk of the town since y’all arrived.”
“That also sounds about right,” he says.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Lucy asks, not that she sounds offended in any sense. In fact, she’s smiling as if she already knows.
“Ain’t gotta play coy with me, Sweetheart.”
She scrunches her nose at him. “Have you eaten yet?”
“No,” Patti answers for him.
From there, Lucy lets her know that she’ll take over. Drags Cooper away from Patti—and everyone else—to go back to the motel. He’s certainly not complaining.
“You recognised me without the hat and coat,” he says.
She looks over her shoulder at him as if he’s crazy. “Of course I did. Believe it or not, but I could pick you out of a crowd of ghouls.” She shrugs her shoulders. “I know you. Besides, you don’t all look alike.”
When they reach the motel, she tells him to go back to his room. Tells him that she’ll meet him there. She doesn’t let him argue. Cooper is frozen on the spot, for a moment. It’s been a couple centuries since anyone has tried…taking care of him. Hell, since he’s barely taken care of himself. And now, of all people, goddamn Vault-dweller Lucy MacLean is the one who cares. Tch. He never thought he’d find himself here.
“Don’t get too excited,” she starts as she enters the room, “the food here isn’t too far off from our usual fare.”
“Won’t catch me complainin’ ‘bout it.”
She carries the tray to the bed and sits across from him, tucking her legs beneath her while he sits on the edge with his feet planted firmly on the ground. “Take whatever you like. I’ll eat what’s left.”
They divvy up the food between the two of them. Cooper purposely leaves extra for Lucy. Not like he really needs sustenance anyway. Not as much as she does, at least.
“What happened?” he finally asks.
“Well, you tried very hard to stay conscious, but the fiends did overwhelm you. And as much as I would like to say I took care of them all by my lonesome, that was not the case. They started overwhelming me, as well, and that’s when a group from this settlement passed by. I was able to get their attention and, frankly, they did most of the work from that point.” She shakes her head. “I was useless.”
“Ya kept ‘em at bay long enough to make it matter.” She gives him a small, sheepish smile at that. “How’d you convince Patti to help?” he then asks.
“I technically didn’t. I mean, she was on the fence, especially once she’d realised exactly who you were. What convinced her was the fact that one of the ghouls here is also one of the ghouls I’d freed from the mini mart. As soon as that came out, everyone was willing to help us.”
“To help you.”
“Well, helping me also helped you.”
Cooper hums. “Careful there, Sweetheart. Helper o’ ghouls ain’t the name ya wanna make for yourself out here.”
“Doesn’t bother me. Even back in the Vault, I was always a bit of an oddball.”
“Yeah, I’m startin’ to believe that.”
“Besides, there are other humans here. So, they must not all hate ghouls.”
“Outliers.” Lucy tilts her head. Watches him take a few more bites of his food. That’s when he realises that she’s barely touched hers. “What’s on yer mind?”
“You took that initial bullet for me.”
Yeah. It was a calculated risk but, shit, it was worth it. Especially being here with her now. Like this. “Ain’t a big deal if I get injured. Ghouls heal quicker.”
“So long as they’re given the actual time to heal, it would seem.”
“Still a quicker process than you and yer paper-thin skin. If that had been you bombarded with bullets, ya probably wouldn’t have survived.”
“Probably not. It’s just… First that Vinnie guy and now the fiends…” She chuckles almost nervously. “You might give a girl the wrong impression.”
A pause. “Maybe it ain’t wrong.”
She turns her head downward as she blushes. “Oh, please. I’m sure you cannot wait to be rid of me.” His silence drags on for far too long. And he won’t—can’t—take his eyes off her. “Oh. Uhm.” She swallows hard before giving him a small smile. “Okie-dokie.”
Cooper still doesn’t understand when it happened. Somewhere along the way, though, he began feeling deeply for the Vaultie. Maybe the flip switched when he started to realise that she’s not afraid of him. That she doesn’t see him as a monster or a creature. She applies her godforsaken golden rule to him the same way she would to anyone else. To any other human. She’s a genuinely good person.
He dares to reach for her. Ever so carefully cradles her cheek in his gloved hand. She startles at first, but then she’s leaning into his touch. Closes her eyes and lets out a soft, content sigh. Tch. He’s doing it again. Getting too close.
He doesn’t want to go back.
“Are you sure you wanna leave so soon?” Lucy asks the next day. “I mean, you only just woke up yesterday. Plus, there’s no rush for us to get out of here.”
“We’ve lost enough time as it is,” Cooper says.
She hums. “If you say so.”
They gather their belongings and restock for the road. Cooper waits by the town line with the mutt. Watches Lucy from afar exchange goodbyes with Patti, laughing and smiling and hugging. He notices Patti whisper something in Lucy’s ear. Narrows his eyes and tilts his head out of curiosity. Wonders if the Vault-dweller is one for keeping secrets.
Afterwards, it’s only Patti approaching while Lucy heads off in the opposite direction.
“She’ll be right back. She forgot something,” Patti tells him. “Y’know, maybe I was wrong,” she then goes on. She gestures her head in the direction Lucy had disappeared in. “She’s gotten through to ya.”
He huffs. Clicks his tongue. “Roger is dead. Reckon you’d wanna know.”
"Yeah, we had a feelin’ he was gone by now.”
“Ya had a feelin’?”
She folds her arms across her chest. “We woke up one morning to find a note he’d left for us. Said he was leavin’ ‘cause he could feel himself finally turnin’. He was gone before any of us could’ve even try to stop him.” They both turn to now watch Lucy as she makes her way towards them. “What was he like when ya came across him?”
“Still remindin’ himself o’ his name.”
“How long did ya stay with him?”
"Oh, I never gave him the chance to forget it.”
She nods her head. “Thanks for that.”
Lucy joins them at that point. “Sorry for making you wait. I’m ready to get going now.” She smiles at Patti. “Thank you again. For everything.”
“Oh, anytime, dear.”
And they’re off.
“If ya can, we should try to travel through the night,” Cooper says once they’ve been walking for a couple hours. “It’ll make up for lost time.”
“Honestly, does it really matter at this point?” Lucy asks. “We’ll get to New Vegas when we get there. My father has most likely already arrived at this point and if he wanted to leave…” She shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t think it’ll make much of a difference anymore.”
“Maybe not to you. This is the closest I’ve been to some goddamn answers in a long time, though, so it matters to me.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so selfish.”
He scoffs. “You ain’t selfish.”
They do walk through the night. They have to fight off a few radroaches at one point, but they at least manage to avoid the radscorpions. Cooper will take the oversized bugs over anything else any day.
“Back in my day, people used to joke ‘bout roaches bein’ able to survive a nuclear blast.” He chuckles. “Guess they really did have the last laugh.”
“What was it like before the bombs dropped?”
He hums. “For starters, there was colour everywhere. Not just these depressin’ ass browns and beiges and greys.” He glances over his shoulder at her. “Even in that goddamn suit o’ yours, ya still wouldn’t have stuck out in a crowd.”
Lucy looks down at herself. “You know, I was thinking…maybe it’s time to change out of the suit. That way I won’t stick out as much. I do feel like I have a target on my back a lot of the time. Blending in would probably be preferable for both of us.”
“Ya got a target on yer back ‘cause ya look the way ya do.” You’re too goddamn perfect. Another thing he’d never say out loud. “And I ain’t referrin’ to the suit,” he goes on. “I’d agree on ditchin’ it, though. Definitely don’t help yer situation.”
“Maybe the next town we pass through, then, I can look for some new clothes.”
“Or we can scrap ‘em off a dead body.”
“That seems…wrong.”
“Why? Ain’t like they’d need ‘em anymore.”
She grimaces a bit. “If the clothes are too expensive, then I suppose scrounging for them will just have to do. I understand I can’t be too picky.”
“I’m surprised Patti didn’t give ya anythin’ new.”
“She offered, but it slipped my mind, and I didn’t think to bring it up again. I was too busy worrying—” She stops short, clearing her throat. “Regardless, I’ll figure something out. It’s not that big a deal.”
He holds back a little grin. He likes that she worries about him. Never thought he’d have that again. Someone who cares enough to look out for him. Tch. Even after everything he did to her, she’s still found a way to see the man beneath the burns.
It shouldn’t feel this good to be seen.
The sun is just starting to set when they reach the next settlement. They make their way straight for the motel. Cooper buys the keys to one room for a single night. Promises Lucy they’ll check the caravans in the morning before they leave. She takes his word for it.
That feels good, too.
As soon as they’re in the room, Lucy collapses onto the bed with a groan. The mutt, much more gracefully and quietly, curls up on the chair in the corner. Cooper removes his hat and duster before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“It feels so good to get off my feet,” Lucy says.
“Ya could’ve said somethin’ sooner.”
“No, it’s fine. I mean, you were so concerned with making up for lost time, so I just,” she shrugs her shoulders, “powered through.”
He scoffs quietly. “Scoot.” She rolls onto her stomach so Cooper can lay back, propped up against the broken headboard. “Just try to get some rest.”
“Somehow, I don’t feel tired.” She rolls onto her side, facing him. “Who is she?”
He narrows his eyes. “Who is…who?”
“The woman you’re looking for. She must be pretty special for you to go through all this trouble just for her.”
The irony of Lucy MacLean speaking those words isn’t lost on him. Especially considering all the trouble he’s gone through for her, at this point. “My daughter.”
He hears the breath catch in her throat. “Oh.” A pause. “Sorry, I thought—” He chooses this moment to pull his gloves off. Starts with his left hand, then his right hand. Purposely stretches his fingers where she’ll be able to see them. She lifts her head and starts laughing. “Is that—?” She sits up all the way. “You sewed my finger on as your replacement?”
“And here I thought you’d be more pissed.”
“Oh, so sorry to disappoint.” She reaches for his hand, flipping it palm up and tracing the stitching. “Honestly, I find it…oddly romantic.”
“Yeah, you’re definitely a weirdo.”
“Well, my husband did try killing me on our wedding night, so I suppose my standards aren’t that high. This is definitely better, though.”
There’s a lot to unpack in that single comment. Cooper decides to just let it all go. “Glad I could rise above yer expectations.”
“Based on our first couple of interactions, you did set the bar pretty low.”
He suddenly closes his fingers around hers. She lifts her gaze to meet his. Meanwhile, he’s been looking at her the whole time. Then she leans in. Presses her lips to his. It’s short. Chaste. When she pulls away, though, she doesn’t go far. He can just barely feel the tip of her nose brushing against his skin.
“I’m sorry, I—”
Cooper closes the distance this time. Cups her cheek as he kisses her. It’s just as chaste, but this one lasts longer. He gets the chance to feel the shape of her lips. And when they break apart, Lucy licks them.
“This is a bad idea,” he murmurs.
“Then I guess we should stop now.”
Neither of them moves.
“I mean it, Vaultie. You ain’t wanna get involved with the likes o’ me.”
“I already am involved.”
“Ya ain’t gonna like what ya see—”
“Look me in the eye and tell me that you believe I care more about looks than—”
“Don’t say personality ‘cause that may be even uglier.”
“Cooper…”
He suppresses a shudder, feeling her breathe his name like that. He should go right now. Get up and leave the room altogether. Let them both forget this entire interaction. Act as if it never happened. Act as if he feels nothing toward her because he shouldn’t. Fuck. He shouldn’t care about her in any sense. He shouldn’t want to be with her. He shouldn’t have this burning desire to—
Lucy places her hand on his chest. Right over his palpitating heart.
Goddamn it…
That touch destroys him while simultaneously bringing him to his senses. He pushes her away as gently as possible. Gets to his feet, grabbing his hat and moving towards the door. She tries to follow him, but he stops her.
“Please don’t go,” she says.
He grits teeth, already standing in the open doorway. Tries telling himself again that it’s not a good fucking idea. That it’ll be better if he leaves. Just like he should’ve left her with the fiends because then he wouldn’t have been injured. She wouldn’t have seen him weak. Except he didn’t leave. And if he turns around now, there’ll be no going back. He’ll never let her go. She must not understand that.
“Ya got the tin can soldier waitin’ on ya.”
“He’d be the safe option.” She shakes her head. “I don’t want safe.”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Okay.” A pause. “I’m sorry.”
Much like during their encounter with the fiends, he can’t bring himself to take another step. This time, though, she’s the dangerous one. She’s going to ruin him. If he doesn’t ruin her first, that is.
Maybe that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
He whistles for the mutt. Listens for the clacking of claws as Dogmeat trots over, and he sends her out. “Go explore.” Then he shuts her out in the hall.
“Hey, why did you do that?” Lucy asks from across the room.
Cooper takes a deep breath and turns on his heel. She hasn’t moved from beside the bed. Still on her feet, eyes on him. He makes his way back over to her.
“What are you—?”
Before she can finish, he has her face in his hands, and he kisses her again. Harder this time. She wraps her fingers around his wrists as she kisses back desperately.
“Oh,” she breathes when they break apart. Then she nods her head. “Okie-dokie.”
With that, he pulls her body flush against his, devouring her mouth. Her tongue is at his ruined lips, and he opens for her. Meets her halfway. She moans, and he swallows the sound. Needs to hear more. Except he’s the one grunting when she suddenly pushes him and he feels his back hit the mattress, his hat falling off his head and to the floor. He focuses his vision just in time to watch her stripping out of the Vault suit. Then she’s crawling over him, and he thinks he may have actually died back in that town. Or somewhere in the desert.
“Don’t tell me you think you’re in charge here,” he teases.
She bats her lashes at him, smirking softly. “We’ll see.”
He reaches for her thighs, digging his fingers into the lithe, toned muscle there. “Oh, please show me, Sweetheart.”
“Happy to.”
So, Lucy reaches for his trousers, undoing the belt buckle and fly, working his hardened cock out. She strokes it a few times, dragging her thumb over his already leaking tip before slipping those same fingers beneath her underwear.
“You wet under there?” Not that Cooper needs to ask. He can see the way she’s already soaked through the fabric. Still, she nods her head, biting her bottom lip as she touches herself. “You’re killin’ me, darlin’.”
“You—you’re—” Her breath stutters as she pulls her fingers out. “Okay.”
She shifts, lining herself up with him. He pulls her underwear aside, catching a glimpse of her glistening wetness before she starts lowering herself onto his cock. He growls at the feeling of being encased by her tight heat. She doesn’t stop until she’s fully seated in his lap with her head thrown back.
“That’s a good girl,” he grits out. “Fuck, you take me so goddamn—” Lucy moves her hips, and he moves his hands, gripping her thighs again. “You gonna be a fuckin’ tease or are you gonna fuck yourself on my cock like ya mean it?”
“Oh, I—”
“Go ahead, Sweetheart. Make yourself feel good.”
She starts slowly rocking back and forth. Cooper watches her face for any signs of pain or discomfort, but she’s blissed out. Soon enough, she’s lifting her hips, gyrating her hips up and down the full length of his shaft. He watches himself disappear into her cunt over and over. Until, that is, she falls forward, catching herself with her hands on both sides of his head. She grinds down against him as her inner walls begin to flutter.
“Close already, huh?” he murmurs into the minimal space between them. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you go again.”
She whimpers as her hips falter and her orgasm overtakes her. Lucy clamps down on his cock, and he wraps his arms around her. Lifts his hips, keeping himself buried inside her cunt as he follows her lead with a low grunt. He curses under his breath, holding her tight to him as they both catch their breath. She collapses onto his chest. He threads his fingers through her sweat-damp hair. He can feel the hammering of her heart.
“You okay?” he checks.
“G-great. Fan—I, yeah, I—” She takes a deep breath. “It does-doesn’t usually hap-happen that…quickly for me,” she then stutters.
He doesn’t say anything more. Instead, he wraps his arms around her and flips them over. She gasps softly, wrapping her legs around his waist. Cooper unhooks one of them, gently lifting it and draping it over his shoulder, splitting her open on his cock and allowing him to sink that much deeper. Her jaw drops open, and he leans down to nip and suck at her exposed neck.
“That feel good?” he murmurs into her heated skin.
“Gosh, yes…”
Lucy slips her hands between them. Starts unbuttoning his vest and shirt. He lets her. Then she presses her hands to his bare chest. He kisses her cheek, and she turns her head to find his lips, capturing them in another kiss. Slow and sensual. He starts rolling his hips with a similar pace, allowing her to feel every scar along his cock with every drag against her inner walls.
“Let me explain why this is such a bad idea,” Cooper starts, keeping his voice low. “First off, ain’t no way in hell I’m lettin’ anyone else touch ya after this. D’ya understand that?” She nods her head. “Second off, I’m gonna claim you, Miss MacLean. Make sure the entire Wasteland knows I’ve had ya.” She whines at that. “Third—”
“Please,” she gasps out. “I won’t be with anyone else so long as you aren’t with anyone else, either.”
He growls softly. “Oh, darlin’, I’ma make ya regret sayin’ that.”
She laughs breathlessly. “Do your worst.”
Frankly, it’s a damn good thing Lucy stopped him from making his third point. Because he would’ve outed himself with that final point. He would’ve blatantly admitted to falling for her.
Maybe it’s better she remains unaware of those particular feelings.
He sucks a dark bruise into her neck, high above the line of her collar. Visible to the world. Belonging to him. Continues grinding down against her. Turns his head to nip and kiss at her thigh, as well. Sucks another mark there for only him to rediscover later. Next time. Because there’s no way he won’t be having her again after this.
He’ll take her as many times as she’ll let him.
Soon enough, he feels her entire body begin to tremble. Moves a little faster. A little harder. Makes sure she knows that he’s the one in charge now. She digs her nails into his shoulders, arching her back. Tries to match each rock with a roll. Her inner walls gradually tighten until they’re clamped down around him. His cock pulses in time with the spasming of her cunt. She cries his name as she falls over that precipice of pleasure for the second time. He presses his forehead to hers, burying himself to the hilt as he spills inside her once more, pumping her full of his seed.
Carefully, he lowers her leg from his shoulder. Rolls onto his back again, taking Lucy with him. Leaving her draped across him. She peppers his neck with kisses until reaching his ruined lips. The kiss is soft yet deep. When it breaks, she tucks her head beneath his chin. Cooper softly traces the outline of her spine with her finger. He thinks she may fall asleep, at least for a few minutes.
She breathes deep before turning her head to look at him. She smiles. “Hi.”
He threads the fingers through her hair. “How’re ya feelin’, Sweetheart?”
“Incredible.”
He kisses the top of her head. “Ready to get up yet?”
She buries her face in the crook of his neck. “Never.”
“’Cmon, you should get cleaned up.”
“Why? I don’t feel dirty.” He chuckles softly and she looks up at him again. “Please tell me this isn’t a one-time deal. Please.”
“Now, why would ya wanna—?”
“Because this is what I want. You and me. Just like this.”
“I don’t think you understand how people will react.”
“I don’t think you understand how I don’t care what other people may think.” Lucy brings a hand up to cradle his cheek. Rubs her thumb along the scarring beneath his eye. “You feel it, too, don’t you? Or am I losing my mind?”
Cooper should tell her it’s the latter. “It ain’t just you.” Except he doesn’t have the heart to lie to her.
“Then I don’t see what the problem is.”
“The problem is you still got a lot to learn." He nuzzles her ear. “Feels like I’m almost takin’ advantage of ya.”
“Maybe I don’t mind.”
“C’mon, you should be smarter than that.” He dares to meet her gaze. Her longing. “Fuck, it ain’t fair."
“What isn’t?”
He inhales sharply through the cavity of his nose. He thought turning around at the door meant no going back. If he speaks his mind now, though… “How much I want you,” he then admits, despite everything screaming at him not to.
“You have me, Cooper,” she tells him, which only makes it worse. “And that doesn’t have to change,” she goes on, her voice too earnest for her own good. “Even after New Vegas, it can still be the two of us.”
“This ain’t the kind o’ world where you can make promises like that, Sweetheart. Anythin’ could happen at any given moment.”
“It can still be a choice. We can actively choose to stay together. To be partners. We don’t have to go our separate ways. Besides, I—” Lucy takes a deep breath. “I’m pretty sure I’d be lost without you.”
“Don’t sell yourself so short, Vaultie. You’re far more capable than you give yourself credit for. Trust me.”
She hums. “Fine. Let’s put it this way.” She sits up a bit, propping herself on her elbows. “I’m not expecting you to…profess your love to me, but—”
“And if I do?”
She turns her head away as she blushes. “Then I’d say what’s the point of even fighting any of this? Especially if we both feel the same way.”
He scoffs, though there’s no real heat behind it. “You have lost yer mind, Vaultie.”
“Well, if it feels this good, then so be it.”
“Too much exposure to the sun,” he goes on.
“Then I’ll get a matching hat, but it might still be too late.”
He shakes his head at her. “Ridiculous.”
He finally convinces her to get up and out of bed. She takes a dose of Radaway before they move into the bathroom to clean themselves. Of course, while they’re in the process of cleaning up, Cooper finds himself on his knees and using his tongue on her. Makes her cum a third time, relishing the taste of her.
They finish cleaning themselves and fall back into bed together. Lucy curls into his side and he wraps his arms around her, keeping her close. It’s…nice. Being this close to someone who isn’t actively trying to kill him. Someone who doesn’t want him dead at all. And he knows he shouldn’t get used to it but, fuck, he believes Lucy when she says she would choose him.
“What did Patti whisper to you before we left?” he asks, finding himself still curious about the exchange.
She laughs softly. “Was wondering when you’d ask about that.” She shifts, pressing closer to him. “She told me that you’re bad news. That the last time she’d seen you, nearly half the town was destroyed because raiders were attempting to hunt you for a bounty. Then I told her about the first time I’d encountered you in Filly.”
“Frankly, I’m still impressed ‘bout the way you stood yer ground back then. Very first time meetin’ a ghoul and you barely flinched.”
“It just…didn’t faze me.”
“She whispered all that to ya?”
“Oh, no, no. From there, she’d asked about the condition of our relationship. I didn’t need to say much—or anything, really—for her to figure it out. I did try denying it, but…” She shrugs her shoulders. “That was when she told me about how she lost someone she loved by trying to deny their shared feelings. She explained that life is too short, even for a ghoul, to not be true to yourself and go after what you want.”
“Wise words.”
She nods her head. “At that point, she told me about a stash of Rad-X she had and that I should grab it.”
“That’s what you allegedly forgot?”
“Correct.”
He hums. “You didn’t use it.”
“I didn’t have the chance, but I still have it for next time.”
“You’re serious ‘bout this,” he realises.
“Unless it bothers you that much.”
“I just need ya to understand exactly what you’re getting’ into, Sweetheart. Patti was right ‘bout me bein’ bad news.”
“You think I don’t know that already? Besides, she was also right about life being too short. Cooper, I—I feel safe with you.” She presses her lips together, holding back a grin. “I don’t want anyone else hurting me.”
He shakes his head. “I ain’t gonna hurt you again. Not if I can help it.”
“Then I feel like that settles it.”
“Yeah? Simple as that, huh?”
“Why make it more difficult? I mean, if there’s one thing that can be easy, why not let it be this?” She suddenly startles, sitting up. “Oh, gosh, Dogmeat is still out there.”
She slips out of bed and goes to the door. Opens it just enough to let the mutt back in, who immediately returns to the armchair in the corner of the room. Then Lucy returns to the bed. Cooper sits up, reaching for her. Finds her lips and kisses her with every emotion he can muster. She does it make it easy. Even after nearly two hundred years of feeling nothing but anger and hatred, Lucy makes it easy to feel love. Something he never believed he’d experience again. Mostly because he didn’t care to experience it again.
She crawls over him, bracketing his thighs with her knees. He moves his hands down to her waist, squeezing gently. Nipping at her lip. She gasps, breaking the kiss to bite at the rough skin of his neck. She can’t mark him quite like he can mark her, but he still appreciates her effort. Enjoys her attempts.
Soon enough, she sits back and smiles down at him. Her eyes are shining in the dim light. Glowing. She tilts her head, pressing her hands to his bared chest. She traces every scar and divot across his mutilated body, as if trying to memorise him.
“Does it hurt?” she asks, voice barely audible.
“Not anymore.” He covers her hands with his own. “Lucy—”
She kisses him again. Slow and sensual and tender. “Whatever happens,” she starts when the kiss breaks, “we stay together. Tell me you’ll never leave me behind. Please.”
He moves a hand to cradle her cheek. “I’ll never leave ya, darlin’.”
She presses her forehead to his. “I know there’s no way to predict—”
“We’ll take it day by day.” He traces her cheekbone with his thumb. “It’s like ya said: It’s a choice we make. And I’m choosin’ you, Vaultie.”
She leans into his touch. “So, you’ll be right here whenever I wake up?”
“Tomorrow and every mornin’ after.”
They both fall asleep soon after. Cooper wakes up before Lucy. Still has her wrapped up in his arms. He places a light kiss on her forehead, causing her to stir. When her eyes flutter open, she immediately smiles at him.
“See? Still here,” he murmurs softly.
“Good morning,” she says in response.
“Yeah, it is.”
And every morning will be.