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You move quietly, slipping and out of the undergrowth and shadows.
They’re around here somewhere, you can smell their too-sweet scent on the wind. You are getting closer to them, to your prey. Your deer, with antlers so grand, and laughter that echoes throughout the forest that something in you yearns to devour.
(You shouldn’t think of them as food. One day, you’re bound to get carried away with them.)
(But you’ve already gotten carried away, time and time again when they offer you their neck, and praise you each time you take it. You wish nothing more than to hear that praise again, and again, and again, until both of you are nothing but a forgotten memory.)
(You’re disgusting, needing them like this, but you won’t ever let go. Not until you die for good, and you turn to ash in the sunlight.)
Your pointed ear twitches, and you snap your head in the direction of a broken branch and sprint.
There, there, there!! You can see their darkless hair flash in front of you and you break through the treeline and lunge-
-and land on top of a pile of branches and leaves, the Crafted illusion of your deer already vanishing, and you are in a circle of flowers and rocks. The one type of trap you cannot escape from.
Something in you screeches at the realization that you’ve lost!
You lost, you lost, you LOST!! Again!!
Stars, you hate losing!! You haven’t won once tonight!
(You’ve been barely trying, you’ve yet to even catch your deer’s cloak. You were always going to lose.)
You stand up, and huff as giggles ring through your ears, circling around you as if you are nothing more than an animal in a cage to be gawked at.
(You will never be anything more than a wild beast. You both know this, and yet your deer adores their wolf all the same. You will never understand why.)
“You need to let go more, Stardust~!” You turn to the right towards the voice, and see nothing but trees and bushes, “You’ve barely let your claws out!”
Where are they? Where are they where are they where are they-
You spin around, scanning the treeline from inside the circle. You don’t bother trying to leave the rocks and flowers- a nature circle cannot be broken by anything but its maker.
(That is not the right term, but neither you nor Loop can remember the name for their kind. You don’t remember what you are, either. You’re just an Unchanging thing in the eyes of Vaugarde.)
The laughter only gets louder, before going quiet. You shiver at the feeling of their eyes on you, and a horrid part of you wants to tear those eyes out, “What’s wrong, Stardust? Your heart doesn’t seem to be in it, tonight! Well…what’s left of your heart, anyway! Aren’t you hungry? Don’t you want to drink?”
…
You sigh.
Whether you like it or not, Loop’s right. You’re just…not in it tonight. Strange, considering this was… your idea for once, instead of Loops. You wanted to hunt tonight, you wanted to track your…something(You refuse to label your relationship), instead of simply taking their wrist like usual and drinking your fill until they’re giddy and smiling for reasons you simply cannot understand.
“Talk to me, Stardust?” You turn around to look at Loop, standing outside the nature circle they made, and for a moment your breath catches at the sight of them in the moonlight.
You cannot deny their beauty any more than you can deny that you are made to be a monster.
Loop’s long, darkless hair pulled into a thick braid that glows in the moon alongside their two large mismatched eyes- one dark and filled with stars, the other bright with dark flecks. They have a second, smaller set of eyes underneath the corner of their main ones- both darkless save for a single lightless ring in them that gives the impression of irises, and a small lightless deer-like nose.
Loop’s long, spindly tail with a star at the end flicks back and forth with an almost ribcage-like structure underneath the star going about a fourth of the way down their tail, each bone getting progressively smaller. It compliments well with the small lightless antlers around their head, ones cut blunt at the top before they get too long to handle. They have a single horn going around the sides of their head like a tiara they like to hang jewels off of, though it’s undecorated for now.
Their hands have lightless claws, and their legs end in sharp lightless points that tap against the ground.
Loop’s deer-like ears twitch slightly, the only jewelry they’re wearing tonight being two crescent moon earrings hanging off of them.
They’re in simple clothes, as they always are for your hunts. Nothing more than their travel boots, lightless pants, darkless puff-sleeve blouse, and their short, lightless cloak with one of your pins on the front, and their own pin just underneath it.
(You have one of their pins, placed just above the safety pin you’ve had since forever.)
(It felt right to exchange them- one of yours for one of theirs- along with a promise to never truly part. Though, it’s not like you two weren’t already bound the second you drank their blood. You are theirs, and they are yours. You will never be alone again.)
(You are not as beautiful as them, but you do not mind. A disgusting part of you enjoys being the monster between the two of you, rejoices in your clawed hands stained lightless, in the fluff of fur that grows around your neck like a collar, and how your ears can turn bat-like and you may grow (too small, useless) wings on your back. A horrible part of you likes the way Loop compliments your eyes when your pupils turn sharp and narrow. You are addicted to the way your fangs run over their skin before you bite down, and drink.)
(Loop will be your undoing, one day. They indulge your inhuman nature far too much for their own good.)
Loop frowns at you, “Breathe, Stardust.”
…
You breathe in, and out. Your claws shift into fingers, grab your hat and pull it over your face. You’re not wearing your cloak tonight, too afraid to tear it apart by accident in your hunt, “...Something’s wrong.” You tell the truth, because Loop always know when they’re being lied to. You can’t get past one whose unchanging nature is deceit itself.
“Well, duh!” Loop puts their hands on their hips, “That’s obvious! What is it, Stardust? C’mon, you know you can’t hide from me~”
“...I don’t know, but you feel it too, don’t you?” You raise your head, “Something changed. Something about the Universe is…different, now. Something with this country.”
You can both feel it, something as sure as the sunrise is in the air. Something changed, and you are on a timer to leave. You can’t name it, and part of you doesn’t want to name it. You’ll just forget it if you do.
Loop pauses, and groans, “Stars, I know! I thought we were just going to ignore it? Go on our merry way? Get out of here?”
“...” You probably should, but…
Do either of you even blinding care? All you have is each other, and you know, you know, you know, that both of you are exhausted by your existence.
You’re only alive for each other, because neither of you want to be the first to go and leave the other. You much rather go together, but both of you are too cowardly to even try.
Until eternity. The words burn on your tongue- eternity, eternity, eternity. That is how long the both of you have bound yourselves in blood and name, and you will fight to keep that eternity as long as Loop stays by your side.
“Tell you what, Stardust. Tomorrow morning, we can finally find ourselves a town, and see if we can find out what’s going on. Deal?” Loop smiles at you, a sparkle in their eye.
…You shouldn’t say yes. Anything involving the word deal with Loop is bound to end in some sort of disaster, but you don’t really care anymore. They are yours, and you are theirs, until their blood stops flowing and you starve, and something far stronger than Loop rips your name away from them.
You nod.
Something is wrong with the Universe, wrong with Vaugarde, but…
…It’s fine, so long as you have Loop with you, and the both of you will spend your eternal lives together. Eternal, because dying terrifies you in a way you cannot name. Sometimes, when you put your hand over your still heart, you wonder if you have died before. You think you have, but you cannot remember.
(You are both unchanging, stagnant things. Neither of you age, and neither of you die by any natural means. You do not belong here, but this is the safest country for you and Loop to be.)
(You wonder, not for the first time, how old you are and Loop are. Neither of you remember, but…you think you are missing a lot of time.)
You blink, and Loop is gone from your sight.
“Very good,” their breath is cold on your neck, and you freeze, “Now, we can relax, hm? Go for a real hunt, worry about the rest in the morning?”
You breathe in, and out.
The scent of sugar is always so strong around them, sweet like the taste of their blood. It’s intoxicating, and you’ve long since been addicted to them since the day you first found them and sank your teeth into their neck.
(You still wonder what they were doing that day, stumbling along in the forest with heavy breathing. You barely registered it, really. It had been days since you’ve had anything to drink other than animals and you were starving too much to do anything but lunge and bite.)
(Hahaha.)
(That's a lie.)
(You know exactly why they were out there in a forest of monsters.)
You need to give chase again, and a low growl rises in your throat. Loop’s body presses against yours, and they giggle. Loop runs a hand down your arm, and takes your ungloved hand. Gently, they coax your fingers to shift back into claws, “No need to be gentle, now. You know I like it rough~”
Such a terrible way to put it.
You don’t stop them, but rather you run your tongue over your teeth and let them elongate into fangs. You wonder when they shifted into something almost human.
They run their other hand along your back where a hole has been cut in case of your wings. The skin there shifts under their touch, as it has many times before, and you allow your back to split open and your small wings to spread.
They are useless for flight, only a couple of feet long, but Loop adores them nonetheless. It’s the only reason you ever let them out these days.
(You think…you used to be able to fly, but you’ve forgotten something. You should be able to change more than a collar of fluff and claws. Something important was forgotten when it comes to flight, but you can’t remember. You’d rather not think about it. Thinking about it makes your head feel like it’s about to split in two.)
“Beautiful,” they whisper, “My wonderful Stardust…”
You close your eyes, purring quietly as they lean on you.
…
You’re a horrible creature that does not deserve their love. You know this for a fact. You are a thing meant to be slain by the heroes in a story. A beast whose starvation can never cease- even now you can feel the pangs of hunger in your stomach- but you cannot help but let yourself be one for tonight. You’re addicted to the way Loop holds you, whispering what feels like lies into your ears that you are a wonderful thing…but Loop’s kind cannot lie. They are cursed to only speak in truths, no matter how stretched.
They think you are beautiful.
You want to devour them.
You want to grab them and pin down and sink your teeth into their throat and tear it out. You want to feel their too-cold blood run down your chin and your throat and drink until there’s nothing left of them. You want to feel their bloodveins wrapped around your throat like a collar and a noose. You want to snap their bones between your teeth until they’re nothing but shards, and you want what's left of them to impale your never-beating heart.
You want to be their undoing, and want them to be yours in turn.
Your ear flicks as you hear them kick a rock away from the circle, and you are free to leave it.
“Little deer,” you hiss between gritted teeth.
“Yes, my Stardust~?” Loop purrs, nuzzling into your shoulder and pressing against the fur that has grown around your neck. They know what they are doing, some nights it feels like they know you better than you know yourself.
You cannot tell if you hate it or love it.
“Start running.”
Loop vanishes, and you turn and give chase into the forest as their laughter fills your ears.
(You are a horrible monster designed to devour and drink, but you are a monster Loop adores for reasons you cannot begin to understand.)
(For them, and them alone, you will let yourself be a monster.)