Archive of Our Own ^beta

The bells above the door chime sweetly over the ambient music. Seungmin looks up from the register, expecting anyone— anyone but him.

The proverbial tiger, the crow, the ghost, the imminent end to Seungmin’s peaceful life. Wearing a pair of black sweatpants, a matching hoodie, and a red duffel bag slung over one broad shoulder, the man walks in so casually and so simply, through the front door.

Right into Seungmin’s life. Again.

Seungmin’s heart starts a complicated routine that ends in a belly flop against his ribs. Shit. It’s really him. The laidback bounce in his step is unmistakable, and Seungmin recognizes him immediately.

It has been a year. Almost thirteen months in fact, since he and Changbin called it quits. Not that Seungmin is counting. Is it a breakup he regrets? Maybe. Is it for the best? Yes. Changbin was good to him— great, even— but they were too young, too alike, and too different in all the ways that tore them apart. Seungmin still remembers parts of him, like his sense of humor and the way he listened to people like they were the only ones in the room. He doesn’t hate Changbin. He just… felt like the only real way to move on and move forward was to cut him out of his life. Slowly, bit by bit. Seungmin just needed to amputate the limb to save the body.

Hence why he made such drastic decisions. He moved out of their shared apartment to avoid any reminder of him. He stopped hanging out with their mutual friends, who frankly were more in Changbin's circle anyway so it wasn’t that big of a deal. He even changed jobs, because it lessens the chances of ever running into his ex again.

That is how he ends up working as a barista at a dainty local coffee shop across town, a bus ride away from his new apartment and situated near the local university, always busy and bustling all day long. Seungmin actually enjoys working here. The place is big enough to accommodate just about a dozen people, intimate and quaint, the greens of the little bonsai trees meshing well with the subtle but modern interior. He especially likes how the students usually keep all their complaints to themselves. 

Like this, a year goes by before he knows it. The dull pain in his chest starts to fade, Changbin's face is no longer a constant in his dreams. Things are looking better.

Until today, that is.

It is not Changbin, no.

But Changbin’s best friend.

Seungmin wants to duck and hide and disappear altogether. 

Maybe if he drops behind the counter now, he can crawl to the back room, live among the bags of beans… ugh, but it is just his luck that Jeongin's shift is still in a few hours. Now Seungmin is trapped, unable to escape his shift, and Hwang Hyunjin— Hyunjin is already right in front of him, hands tucked in his pockets, his dark, sleepy eyes browsing the few pastries on display. He is taking his time, so nonchalant about it as if he isn’t currently making Seungmin lose his goddamn mind. 

God. 

Seungmin settles for keeping his head down, while his little heart drums pitifully against its cage. Please let it do the trick. Please.

“Can I get an iced Americano, please?” Hyunjin yawns, clearing his throat when the words come out gravelly. 

The rasp scratches something deep in Seungmin's chest. No one should have any business sounding like that this early in the morning… Huh. He glances down at the corner of the monitor. 6:21 AM. Hyunjin must be having an early start to his day too. Is he a student nearby?

“Sure thing,” Seungmin replies curtly. Quickly, he turns his back, desperate to remain faceless before Hyunjin can so much as—-

“Seungmin?” 

—recognize him.

Oh god. Seungmin freezes, rooted to the spot. 

Hyunjin sounds surprised. Seungmin is not ready, not for this, not for the awkward questions nor an even more awkward conversation. He doesn’t know how to react for the life of him. But he can’t exactly act like he doesn't know Hyunjin either. 

The earth should just open and swallow me up. Instant. Pronto.

The fates are obviously not on Seungmin’s side today, unfortunately, so after staring pointedly and disappointedly at the ground for a reasonable three seconds, he puts on his best customer-service friendly smile and turns back around. He has it perfected. Maybe. “Ah, Hyunjin? I didn't recognize you! How have you been?”

Hyunjin blinks, a smile slowly forming on his lips, amused. “At that octave?”

Okay, maybe not so perfect. Seungmin nearly winces with how hard his teeth shut close. “I didn't think you'd recognize me.”

“That's okay. I mean, I didn't mean to ambush you like this.” Hyunjin smiles kindly, a little guiltily even. “Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.”

“No. It’s– it's fine,” Seungmin waves him off with whatever is left of his dignity, managing a smile that he hopes doesn't actually look like a grimace. “I should've said hi. Let me go get your coffee.”

And before Hyunjin can say anything, he retreats as far as the counter allows, hopefully without making it too obvious that he's making his coffee as far away from his customer as possible. 

First of all, just to be very clear: he isn’t avoiding Hyunjin specifically. Seungmin is just… a little embarrassed. A little caught off guard, so suddenly like this. Hyunjin is probably going to text Changbin as soon as he leaves with the coffee Seungmin is pouring for him so quickly, and then Changbin is going to know where he works and how he is still obviously awkward about the situation. That's annoying. Seungmin may have gone into hiding like a dumb silly dog, but he still has his pride—-

“Ow!”

Great. Of course.

Of all the best times to pour hot coffee all over his hand.

“Seungmin! Are you okay?” Hyunjin is there instantly, leaning over the part of the counter closest to Seungmin and throwing him a bunch of table napkins. 

So much for not wanting attention, Kim Seungmin!

“I'm fine,” he mumbles, frustratedly dabbing at the spill with his non-blistered hand, pointedly ignoring the loud thundering of heartbeat in his own ears, the sweating of his palms, the slight trembling of his entire body. Most of all... the particularly intense set of eyes on him. And today he even skipped his usual morning triple shot! “Thanks, Hyunjin.”

“I guess you're not fully awake yet either.”

“I am now,” he continues grumbling as he cleans. Hyunjin must think him clumsy, even when he's absolutely not. He looks up and sees Hyunjin frowning. He probably doesn't know what to say to that. Ha, that makes two of them. 

Hyunjin studies his reddened skin for a few seconds, his focus feeling a little too sharp, too attentive that it makes Seungmin’s skin prickle. He nearly braces himself when Hyunjin’s eyes meet his again.

“Try putting something on that if you can? I heard aloe helps with burns.”

Oh. That… isn't what he was expecting. Maybe a joke? Something mocking? A snide comment over how clumsy and awkward Seungmin is? But this…

“Okay, um, thanks again.” Touched, Seungmin gives him a softer smile this time. Small, but genuine and real. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The deep furrow in those thick brows instantly eases, and the smile that returns Seungmin's is wider and warmer with twin dimples at the sides. 

Seungmin breath catches, just a little. 

Hyunjin takes his newly made drink, apologizing for the accident with such charm as if it were entirely his fault and not Seungmin’s stupid adrenaline getting the better of him. In the next blink, next intake of breath, Seungmin is watching Hwang Hyunjin hastily rushing out the door.

Out of the shop. Out of Seungmin’s life.

The music and chatter return.

Seungmin breathes out.

For the rest of the day, his adrenaline is pumping, nerves all wired tight.

The jazz playlist loops again. Seungmin stares at the empty space where Hyunjin once stood. 

Would Hyunjin tell Changbin that we’ve seen each other? Would Changbin come here himself?

Would Hyunjin come back?

The thought makes Seungmin’s stomach do a small flip. If Hyunjin is indeed a student at the university, then Seungmin might, probably, more than likely, see him again. 

Seeing Hyunjin was… 

Seeing Hyunjin was nice.

Even if it was a little scary.

Now that he thinks about it, while the two of them hadn’t exactly been close before—friendly acquaintances, at best—he had liked being around Hyunjin. In the very few times he’s seen him, at least. Hyunjin has always treated him rather nicely.

His gaze falls on the stainless steel glass to his left. Suddenly he has this strong urge to check his reflection out on its surface. 

The way Hyunjin had stood there, those dark eyes taking him in… slowly, wholly, as if he’s committing each part of Seungmin to memory… 

No way.

Seungmin shakes the thought loose. He’s imagining it. He woke up too early, and he's still groggy. 

And yet the memory of that gaze lingers—the intensity of it burning on his back when he was moving around making Hyunjin’s coffee.

Would Hyunjin think I looked good and tell Changbin about it?

Seungmin sighs.

That is a lot to consider. 

For one, he burned himself pouring Hyunjin's coffee, so if they ever actually talk about him, it’s likely going to be something like hey bro your ex burned the shit out of himself today followed by an oh word I didn’t even know he knew how to make coffee and then they will laugh and play League all night because Seungmin is just a thing of the past. A blip on the radar. A piece of shell in the omelette you spit out. Spilled coffee on a countertop—

He sighs, heavier this time. Why is he even getting so worked up? It’s all completely out of his control.

Later, much later that night, in the loud silence of his apartment, Seungmin lies in bed, struggling to fall asleep. His mind races with a million thoughts, half of it just playing a loop of a certain gravelly morning voice.

Seeing Hyunjin all of a sudden has left him so unnerved and tilted, but strangely enough, there is a traitorous little part of him, the part that must like chaos apparently, that wants to see Hyunjin again.

He wants him to return.

It’s just nostalgia, he thinks to the ceiling. Because he reminds you of the past… 

Or because he’s a familiar face after a long time, and you're a bit lonely.

Definitely not the dimples. Or the kindness. Or the…

Well, whatever it is, the prospect excites Seungmin enough to keep him tossing and turning through the night, kicking the sheets until they tangle around his legs like a trap.

When Seungmin goes back to work the next day, the adrenaline hasn't faded. Just muted into a jittery buzz that lives under his skin. He can't shake the nervousness. In the back of his mind wails the constant thought that someone he knows could walk in at any moment. 

Every time the front door opens, every chime that signals an arrival, Seungmin feels his heart stop. 

Ding. A student with headphones. Ding. A professor craving some pancakes. Ding. A mom with a stroller.

Ding.

Ding.

Eventually, his shift ends. No one comes. 

Standing by the register, he looks down at his once throbbing, still reddish knuckles he carefully treated last night with store-bought aloe vera gel.

Kim Seungmin is old news. Obviously.

But he’d be lying through his teeth if he said he isn’t a little disappointed. 

There is nothing he can do about it though. For all he knows, Hyunjin rushed to class right after he left yesterday, arrived late because Seungmin haphazardly spilled his precious coffee and delayed him, and forgot all about it—all about Seungmin—by the time his classes were over. 

Oh, well.

By the end of the day, it doesn't actually bother Seungmin as much anymore. Sure, that strange buzz from their interaction still hums. But he  knows by logic that it is for the best that Hyunjin never comes back. 

After all, it’s what Seungmin wants. He is the one who has wanted space. The one who wanted a fresh start away from his past. That includes not having any of these momentary, chance encounters. He can't just have the parts he misses. That is not how it works. That is unfair to himself, and unfair to the main person he’s been avoiding, too.

No one will get hurt if he and Hyunjin never see each other again. 

In fact, this accidental coffee incident with Hyunjin is just a microsecond in the grand scheme of things. He has served thousands of customers in less time than that, and he has no memory of them. So what if Hyunjin has no memory of him? They are two specks of dust passing each other in the wind, and Seungmin is but a grain of sand floating in the cosmic ocean, nothing more…

“Waiting for someone?” 

Jeongin assumes his role by the counter, tilting his head at Seungmin, catching him zoning out, looking at the door again. 

Wordlessly, Seungmin shakes his head. Just a coincidence, he decides, forcing his heart rate to slow. Just a one time thing. He won't be back.

Jeongin doesn’t ask further.

Seungmin's next day at work is a whirlwind, this time too busy for him to actually wonder who can walk through the damn door. Normally, he enjoys the morning calm. He likes to stand around, prone to wistful daydreaming because there’s rarely a hectic start to his shift, what with half of the student population hating being awake before noon. But today, for some ungodly reason, it's like every student on campus needs a goddamn latte. Where is the lactose intolerance representation? Did the dairy industry decide to do a case study at his coffee shop at seven in the goddamn morning?

They will have to keep a cow on tap at this rate. Seungmin is never going to get the smell of steamed milk out of his hair, then he’s going to smell like a baby bottle for the rest of his life!

“One iced Americano, please.”

The voice is low, attractively so, its vibration bypassing his ears entirely and traveling straight down his spine. And for the first time in several orders, Seungmin actually looks up to see the customer. This isn’t a latte. Who dares break the pattern all of a sudden?

“Hmm, and maybe a slice of carrot cake?”

It is a perfectly tousled mop of hair, nicer coat, and a Hwang Hyunjin looking less sleepy than before. Certainly not as rushed. The guy is also waiting, expectantly, because apparently, Seungmin is just blinking back stupidly at him like he is waiting for his buffering thoughts to load.

“No cake then?” Hyunjin asks, waving a hand in front of Seungmin’s face.

He reboots. “Yes. No. I mean, there is.” 

Oh god. Heat explodes across Seungmin's cheeks, but he does what he does best: pretend everything is well and dandy. 

“One iced Americano and one slice of carrot cake. Coming right up!”

Flustered, he dashes off and chides himself for whatever ancient version of Internet Explorer he has mistakenly installed in his brain that morning. He does the order in record time, thankfully with no mishaps this time, and hands them to Hyunjin just as quickly to get it over with. And then Seungmin simply stands there mentally willing it all to end. 

Hyunjin blinks, losing their impromptu staring contest, and starts to smile. Dimples. Obviously, he is amused again. The air around Seungmin feels suddenly thin. “I still have to pay.”

“Right,” he almost squeaks. The ground should really just open up. Right now. 

With mastered movements that only come from working in this place for so long, Seungmin rings up the total, and Hyunjin pays in cash before leaving. 

You know, just a repeat of events.

Except.

Except Hyunjin doesn’t leave. 

He turns and walks and sits down. 

Hyunjin sits down. 

At a table. A few feet away. He pulls out his laptop. Puts his coffee down. In the coffee shop. The coffee shop where Seungmin works. Seungmin’s coffee shop. With his laptop. And his coffee. And his cake that Seungmin specifically placed in a to-go container because Hyunjin is supposed to leave—-

“Excuse me,” the next customer says.

It snaps Seungmin out of his mini-spiraling. “Sorry, yes?” 

Seungmin returns to work and forces himself to ignore the fact that his ex’s best friend is within cup-throwing distance. 

This is a terrible, terrible situation. How is Seungmin jinxing everything? How can Hyunjin do this to him? What did he ever do to deserve this? 

And why is he there by himself?

Is… is Changbin going to show up?

The thought is like a bucket of ice water. Seungmin shudders, horrified. If he sees so much as a tiny glimpse of a familiar beanie coming through the damn door, he is done. He will run home and leave the cafe to the utter mercy of its caffeine-deprived customers. They can go find the cow and milk it themselves.

The latte rush dies down eventually, so now Seungmin has to force himself to be busy, or at least, look busy with different things. God forbid he makes eye contact with that table, so here he goes, wiping down counters, practicing his latte art, picking up trash from tables… and whatever other distractions he can find.

Out of the corner of his eye—no, he is not watching—he sees Hyunjin scowling at his laptop and furiously typing away like his life depends on it.

Idly, Hyunjin picks up his empty cup and sips at the straw.

Slurrrrp.

Then he puts it down, as if he doesn't notice from the hollow sound of ice cubes that there isn’t anything left. He frowns deeper at the screen, purely typing on autopilot. His classes must be hard.

Seungmin purses his lips. 

He looks back at the espresso machine by the counter. He does get a few free drinks as a perk for working in this place, and right now, a very annoying, particular sense of responsibility settles in his chest. Must be because Seungmin knows him. Especially because he knows him. 

But does he have to…?

Whatever. 

Seungmin can’t bear to let the guy suffer just because he can’t figure his own shit together.

So there he goes and returns with a fresh, sweating cup of iced coffee. He sneakily replaces Hyunjin's empty cup and chewed-up straw and wordlessly bolts away before Hyunjin can ever notice he’s been near.

Hyunjin idly picks up the cup again, brings the straw to his lips—then he looks at it startled after nearly choking on a mouthful. 

Oops.

Maybe Seungmin was too good with the stealth factor.

Hyunjin looks up, wide eyes scanning the area, and Seungmin instantly drops. He drops to the floor, strategically ducking away, hoping not to make eye contact (and for no one to see him doing something as stupid as crouching behind a cleared table). He didn't do it because he wanted Hyunjin to know he did it! He doesn’t want to draw attention to himself. He just feels bad for him, is all.

He clutches his apron to his chest, counting to three before finally peeking over the table. Much to his relief, Hyunjin has returned to his work. His shoulders have relaxed considerably, but he probably doesn’t even have the time to investigate his mystery coffee. Seungmin worries that his perfectly focused frown is going to get permanently stuck on his face like that.

It would be a shame. It’s a nice face.

At some point in the day, the table is vacated. Seungmin hasn’t even noticed Hyunjin leaving. 

He pauses with a rag in his hand, staring at the empty chair. It's strange, even if it is not unusual for Seungmin to not notice when some customers leave. 

It is just that… for some reason, Hyunjin’s presence had been so overwhelming, so threatening, that Seungmin was so sure that once he walked out, it would leave a lingering chill in the air. 

But it didn’t. 

Hyunjin is gone. Just like that. 

The day ends like usual. The sun goes down, he goes home, he prepares to repeat the cycle. Work, home, sleep. This, this is what Seungmin wants. This is what he signed up for. 

There is no point in complaining about it.

The next day, Seungmin is back at work again. There is no latte rush, everything is back to normal, the sun is shining, and quite frankly, Seungmin has not even thought about the mere possibility of a mystery guest. 

Until he sees him in line again.

Oh, for the love of—

There is absolutely no way Hyunjin can afford to drink this much coffee. Since when do students survive on premium coffee every twenty four hours? Seungmin is going to have to scold him about his impulsive spending habits at this point.

It must be a habit he picked up from his best friend. 

A sharp jab hits his gut. Seungmin really doesn't need a reminder of his ex like this. Hyunjin needs to find another coffee shop to go to!

But Hyunjin is already at the counter.

“Iced Americano and carrot cake?” Seungmin says in lieu of a greeting, mechanically punching in the order without sparing him a glance. Just to keep it brief.

“Just the coffee, thanks. How have you been?”

“Fine,” he clips his answer short.

“I see. So, uh,” Hyunjin clears his throat. It doesn’t make much of a difference. His voice is still raspy, still annoying, still doing that thing where it sounds like husk and honey. “What time does your shift end?”

Seungmin pauses, fingers hovering over the payment button. What? He finally looks up, taking the payment as Hyunjin watches him. That's not… Why is he asking something out of the loop?

“2 PM,” Seungmin answers, a beat too late. If it isn’t obvious by now, changes unnerve him. He rather prefers routine and going by the script.

Hyunjin checks his phone, his thick brows furrowing briefly, before he looks back up and nods. “Alright.”

Alright? 

That’s all? He won’t offer any explanation?

Then again, it isn’t like Seungmin needs one. 

Hyunjin is allowed to be curious, and Seungmin is allowed to pretend he doesn't find the question weird at all. From what little he knows and remembers, Hyunjin has always been an odd ball—spontaneously impulsive one minute, master planner the next. Hyunjin is probably just being curious for no particular reason. It is not unlike him to ask random questions, so it is also not Seungmin's business to pry.

After their little encounter, the rest of the day goes by without any other surprises. 

But just as Seungmin is wrapping up, the bells chime violently, and a familiar face rushes in, out of breath like he’s been running for a while.

“Oh good. I didn't miss you.” Hyunjin huffs, clutching the strap of his bag like a lifeline and beaming. He beams at Seungmin like someone who just made it in time for the season finale of their favorite show. His broad chest heaves up and down with deep breaths as he straightens up, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead and running his fingers up through his hair. He looks at Seungmin determinedly. “Come on. Let's go get something to eat.”

Poor Seungmin barely has the time to process the invitation— or the fact that Hyunjin ran just to catch him— before he finds himself following Hyunjin out of the cafe and down the street. 

The one good thing about Seungmin being close to Hyunjin’s height is that he isn’t that difficult to keep up with. Even though Seungmin still feels like he is sprinting right now.

“Where are we going?” Seungmin finally asks after they have walked past several blocks away from his workplace. Fun fact: this is in the opposite direction of Seungmin’s way home.

Hyunjin stops. He looks left, then right, then he scratches his neck awkwardly. “I’m not sure… I thought it was this way.”

“What was?”

“The kimchi jjigae place. That's still your favorite, right?”

“Yeah…” Seungmin answers slowly, honestly surprised. Hyunjin remembers. He remembers. “Don't you hate spicy food?”

“I don't mind it this once since you like it, but I can't find it.” Hyunjin turns to him, shoulders slumping. He sounds frustrated with himself.

Huh.

Okay. Seungmin doesn't particularly want to hang out with Hyunjin right now, or ever, at all. But he’s also feeling somewhat obliged to help now that the guy looks so disappointed. 

Really, it’s just out of the pure goodness of Seungmin’s heart and the allure of his favorite food that gets him pulling out his phone and checking the map.

He finds the place Hyunjin meant. Luckily, it is one side street away. Thank god they won’t have to walk much more. “I think it’s this way.” 

Really, it’s only those very reasons that gets him walking ahead and taking the lead.

Then Seungmin realises he is still in his work uniform, and suddenly starts feeling self-conscious about going into another business. But what is he supposed to do? Say no?

Hyunjin is walking behind him, following closely given how narrow the alleyway is. The air smells of garbage, stale water, and motor oil. Steam hisses from the pipes above. Seungmin scrunches his face when he briefly looks up. Romantic.

“Careful,” Hyunjin murmurs, as a large hand, gentle and firm, lands on Seungmin's hip. 

The touch burns through his work shirt, the heat seeping into his skin, and suddenly Seungmin is more aware of the palm holding him steady. It takes a lot not to shiver. Hyunjin guides him smoothly around a puddle of spilled oil with chunks of old food floating on it, saving him from planting his shoe right in the middle. Seungmin nearly gags at the sight. “Thanks,” he says softly. 

Hyunjin hums, and a dimple appears in Seungmin’s field of vision. “No problem.” 

His hand lingers, stays, for a second longer than necessary.

No way.

Seungmin thinks he must have imagined it— that and the way it felt big and warm and protective. Another shallow breath, and Hyunjin has already pulled away completely, stepping in front of him and walking faster. 

Seungmin looks up and spots the sign of a glowing red pot with a white lid. Ah.

They walk inside to find a vacant eatery. Seungmin isn’t even sure they are open, until an old man happily shouts at them to come in. He's missing a few front teeth, but he has that grandfatherly smile that makes a person want to eat more just to make him happy. 

Together, they huddle around a small round table, cramped enough that Seungmin has to contort his legs under the seat to fit comfortably. Legs touch and knees bump until he settles to rest his over Hyunjin’s. Hyunjin doesn't pull away.

It feels cozy here.

“I’m surprised they’re open this early,” Seungmin says as he takes all the interior in. He is used to places like this being rowdy and serving food into the late hours of the evening with alcoholic drinks.

In front of him, Hyunjin looks around too. “I’m not sure they are open.”

Seungmin grins at him. “He didn’t kick us out.”

Hyunjin laughs. “I think that means we can eat.”

Browsing the menu is quick— ‘It says kimchi jjigae is their best seller. Should we get that?’— with Seungmin suggesting his favorite after all, and Hyunjin places their order without a hitch.

Waiting for the food means it is time for small talk, and boy does Seungmin hate small talk. The only thing he and Hyunjin have in common is his ex, and as far as Seungmin is concerned, that topic is off limits.

“So… why did you bring me here?” Seungmin asks, starting to fidget with the texture of his jeans.

“Thought we could catch up,” Hyunjin says, looking at him. “And to say thank you for the free coffee.”

“Oh. I didn’t think you knew it was me.”

Hyunjin grins, leaning forward on his elbows, his arms crossed over the table. Hmm. Does he work out a lot? “I'm not that dumb. I just didn't want to say anything and get you in trouble.”

“Ah.” Seungmin nods. He feels the warmth of the thoughtful gesture and the shame from the memory of his stupidity. That checks out. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Listen, I know I’m hot, but people don’t usually just leave drinks on my table for me.”

Seungmin huffs a laugh. Wow. How dare he forget Hwang Hyunjin is like this? Charismatic, funny, pleasantly all-too-familiar towards him…

The banter, too, feels familiar as he playfully humbles him down, just a little. “I watched you drink from the same empty cup about twenty times and felt like someone had to do something about it.”

“And that's why I'm here to catch up and say thank you.” 

Hyunjin smiles his usual boyish smile, pairs of dimples on his cheek and just below his eyes showing and undeterred. Seungmin likens him to a dumpling. A squishy dumpling. 

The randomness of the thought tugs at Seungmin’s lips. The fact that they are only half a year apart— if Seungmin remembers correctly— is something he is only reminded of when Hyunjin smiles deeply with all his dimples out, like this.

“What were you working on anyway?” 

“I have a paper due.” Hyunjin sighs, like the reminder places the weight of the world back on his shoulders. “It’s not that big of a deal, but I put it off too long.”

“That’s the worst,” Seungmin sympathizes. “You wanted to be a sports major, right?”

Hyunjin shakes his head— which is surprising given that he can't imagine the Hyunjin he knows, albeit vaguely, as anything else. Hyunjin loves sports way too much.

“I mean I did, but I got a bad ankle.” Hyunjin shrugs. “I’m just tired of doing things to fuck it up.”

“Ahh.” Seungmin kind of feels bad for reminding him, even if he didn’t know about the injury. They haven’t exactly talked about his health before. Most of what he knows about Hyunjin were only brought up casually by his ex. “What are you going for now?”

“Social work.”

Ohh… right. Hyunjin loves kids. Seungmin remembers that Hyunjin grew up with his foster parents, and the burst of warmth in his chest softens his eyes. “That’s a really good fit for you.”

The way Hyunjin brightens with that comment is worth it. “You think so?”

Seungmin nods assuringly. “Yes. I honestly did not think of that, but it seems perfect for you. What’s your paper on?”

This time Hyunjin groans. “Sociological models.” He props his chin on one hand, pouting as he elaborates. “Turns out you still have to take science and math classes no matter what degree you want to get.”

“Aww,” Seungmin laughs, indulging in his dramatics. “That’s just not fair, is it?”

Hyunjin shakes his head, still propped up and still pouting. But his eyes are shining and lit up with mirth now. “Not one bit.”

Just then, the restaurant owner brings over their bubbling pot and heaping plates of side dishes. The pot is boiling in bright red sauce. 

Seungmin's mouth waters immediately. “This looks delicious.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes go wide too, but his reaction is definitely for the opposite team. “This looks spicy.”

“Hottest jjigae in this ol’ damn country,” the restaurant owner boasts with a hearty laugh and smacks Hyunjin on the back. “It'll put hair on yer chest and make ya taller.”

“I think I'm going to die,” Hyunjin whispers conspiratorially once the owner walks away.

“It can’t be that spicy.” Picking up his spoon, Seungmin takes a scoop of broth, blowing on it before sticking it in his mouth to prove a point. Instantly, his eyes go wide in horror. “Oh my god.” He swallows what he’s tasted as quickly as he can, reaching for his glass of water. “It's—” cough cough “it’s not that bad.”

Hyunjin looks at him and back at the cauldron with a pathetic expression. “I don’t know about that."

“It’s just because it's very hot and—and I haven’t eaten all day…” Seungmin tries to convince him. “It’s probably fine.”

Hyunjin stares him dead in the eyes, calculating, contemplating if the smile in Seungmin’s face is worth trusting. 

Then Hyunjin picks up his own spoon, slowly and carefully. “Probably fine,” he echoes, like he's convincing himself too. With a shaky breath, he closes his eyes and scoops out the same broth, bringing it to his nose first and smelling it. He immediately starts coughing from the spice, his sharp eyes squinting and becoming even sharper. “Holy shit!”

“It’s fine!” Seungmin repeats, albeit a little more shakily. “It’s not even hot to me anymore.”

How Hyunjin still trusts him for this, Seungmin doesn't know, but Hyunjin takes a small sip at the brim of his spoon. “Oh god.”

“How is it?”

“It tastes like— pain,” Hyunjin says brokenly. “You gotta eat this. I can’t.”

Seungmin half-shrieks, half-whispers. “All of this?” 

“I can’t do it.” Hyunjin is fanning his mouth, fanning his shirt, on the verge of crying and not knowing what to do with the heat. “You’ve gotta.”

Seungmin could really cry too. “I… I can’t eat all of this by myself…” 

“Not all of it.” Hyunjin gives him mercy, wheezing and sobbing into a napkin with the hand that hasn’t touched the broth. “Just enough to get us out of here.”

Seungmin looks back at the pot in distress. Then to the owner with the grandfatherly smile lounging by the counter, probably playing his newspaper crossword, who will never forgive them if they don’t feast on his prized infernal stew.

No wonder there was no one here. The food is cursed.

“If I eat this,” Seungmin whispers back, looking—pleading at Hyunjin with his eyes, “promise me we will never go anywhere without checking for reviews first ever again.”

Hyunjin nods repeatedly, promising to him with a red face of pain. 

Convinced enough, Seungmin picks up a plate of tofu and kimchi, dumps the contents into the broth, closes his eyes, and says a prayer. 

By the time Seungmin scrapes the bottom of the pot, he is actively hallucinating. Hyunjin has three glowing eyes and a long, fluffy tail, and Seungmin is also sure that the restaurant owner is currently dancing with a skeletal dragon on top of the counter.

He wipes the cold sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, collapsing back into his chair as his eyes close on instinct.

“Are you okay?” 

The obvious worry in Hyunjin’s deep voice is angelic and soothing, but Seungmin feels like his ears are submerged underwater by how far Hyunjin has sounded.

“I’m going to puke.”

Immediately, there is movement. Hyunjin is on his feet, his reflexes terrifyingly fast as he catches the empty stainless steel cup toppling over before it can clang loudly. “Let’s get you to the bathroom.” 

Even as Seungmin waves him off—or tries to, he mostly just flaps his hand around—Hyunjin is already dragging him towards the back and not taking ‘no’ for an answer.  

Seungmin has to grab onto one stubborn arm that feels rock hard and definitely too muscular for someone who has given up sports— but the burning tide of spicy broth in his stomach is unfortunately too fucking hot for Seungmin to care about how strong Hyunjin is being right now.

He stumbles into a stall in his delirium and balances himself on the walls that waver like a mirage.

“Are you okay in there?”

Hyunjin, left hanging out at the sink outside, asks the same line for the third time, maybe fourth. Seungmin gasps for air and finally answers him. “‘m fine!” 

He is not.

After what feels like a long excruciating moment, Seungmin steadies himself, emerging out to rinse his mouth in the sink. He still feels like a ghost who just ate a volcano. “That was awful,” he rasps.

“I’m so sorry.” Hyunjin moves to his side, his hand hovering in the air behind Seungmin’s back, twitching, like he doesn’t know if he’s still allowed to touch. “I should have helped you eat that.”

Seungmin can hear better now, at least. He waves his hand feebly instead of shaking his throbbing head. “No, there’s no way you could've. That man has a contract with the devil.”

Hyunjin drops his hand eventually. “What do we do now?”

“We pay.” Seungmin sighs, his voice hoarse and hollow after the torture it went through. “Then we go find me some ice cream.”

“Ice cream? You’re still hungry?”

“No.” Seungmin stumbles out of the bathroom, still a bit too dizzy to walk upright and speak another long sentence. It is a well-known fact among spicy food enthusiasts that the secret to saving an esophagus from turning itself inside out— if the food has to come back up— is to coat it with ice cream. 

Seungmin is not a wimp. But he is also not going to try to spend the night alone in the emergency room over one fucking pot of kimchi stew. 

Now a man on a mission, Seungmin makes a beeline towards the nearest convenience store— Hyunjin following close like a scolded puppy, ever so careful and watchful that Seungmin doesn’t trip over air or hurt himself any further— and luckily finds himself a tub of vanilla ice cream. 

Hurrah.

Seungmin opens it up as soon as he can and scoops the contents into his mouth with the wooden spoon. His stomach churns, but he hopes once the cold, sugary coating hits his insides, that he won’t have to write out his last will and testament on the back of the receipt after all.

All the while, Hyunjin hasn’t stopped apologizing, even after paying for the meal and Seungmin's ice cream himself. Like it is personally his fault that Seungmin has liquified his own insides out of some deeply embedded sense of obligation to appease the elderly. Like it is personally his fault that Seungmin can’t subject him to the most gruesome death he can ever imagine. 

No, clearly, it is Seungmin’s sole decision to drink the entire broth himself, but he is also too pissed about the situation to bother consoling him. In fact, Hyunjin’s groveling is, in a way, making him feel better over the fact that he has lava boiling in his stomach.

“I should have never taken you there.” Hyunjin is still fussing, still pleading for forgiveness. Seungmin doesn't answer. Not because it is Hyunjin's fault— really, it’s not— but because if he dares to open his mouth, fire might come out. 

Seungmin stares up at him. Hyunjin's pupils are shaking, waiting for Seungmin to say something. 

I’m sorry, friend, but if I speak, we might both die.

“Let me make it up to you,” Hyunjin adds. “Anything you want.”

Seungmin pauses, spoon in his mouth. “Anything?” he asks, speaking near-incoherently with a mouth full of vanilla ice cream that threatens to dribble down his chin.

Hyunjin nods quickly. His eyes are wide. He looks ready to risk it all and drop everything just to save Seungmin’s stomach. 

Well…

Seungmin’s request is simple but purposeful. 

You see, by joining their little rendezvous at the stew shack for demons, Seungmin missed his bus, and although he doesn’t mind waiting for the next one, he doesn’t particularly love the idea of waiting and sitting at the stop while his insides implode. Fortunately for him, he happens to know that Hyunjin has a car from the few times they’ve hung out before. 

Hyunjin got it not long after he turned twenty, and from what Seungmin also knows, he drives like a careful old man who hates speeding or reckless sharp turns. It is surprisingly the direct opposite of his personality and makes him the perfect driver for someone who is as sick as Seungmin is.

The request certainly takes Hyunjin by surprise, but he doesn't seem to mind except for the fact that his car is on campus. 

Seungmin immediately regrets asking.

Now he has to walk all the way to a school he doesn’t go to, when he could have just sat his pathetic ass down at the bus stop and suffered quietly instead of making a big deal about it.

“Actually, you know what, you probably have somewhere you need to be,” Seungmin says, hesitating as they walk back. Embarrassment consumes him when his bus stop appears in sight. “I don’t really mind waiting for the bus. I’m feeling better already.” 

He is lying, of course. But it is necessary.

Hyunjin shakes his head. “Absolutely not. If I don’t take you home myself, I won’t know if you got home safe.” 

The sound of Hyunjin’s keys as he spins them on one finger rings around Seungmin’s head like a metaphorical Game Over sound effect. 

“I’ll be fine,” Seungmin insists.

“What kind of guy would I be if I took that for an answer?”

Okay, he has a point. Hyunjin, from what little Seungmin knows of him, is a stubborn guy when he wants to be. 

And Hyunjin, from what he also knows of him, is a good guy with a heart that tries its best to take care of people, even if he is a bit clumsy at times and accidentally feeds them lava. 

Alas, Seungmin spares one final, longing glance at his stop. He sighs defeatedly. He knows when his battles are truly lost. There is no convincing Hyunjin otherwise now, so he is just going to have to walk with him to campus and let him drive him home like he stupidly asked.

After Seungmin makes it back to his humble apartment, safe, alive, and with an antacid dissolving in his stomach, he is quite relieved to finally be alone where he can personally swear at the gods for letting ghost peppers exist on earth. 

Washing and changing into his comfortable, beloved pajamas, he flops down onto his bed, all ready to spend the rest of the afternoon watching a movie on his laptop. Free from pain or social interaction.

About an hour into the movie, his phone buzzes.

Which is unusual, because no one really messages him. Seungmin frowns at the notification.

Instagram? But he hasn't posted in months due to his fervent efforts to not be seen.

Right as he is about to dismiss it off, he recognizes the display name. He sits up and picks up his phone so fast, opening the direct message.

‘Sorry to bother you,’ it reads. ‘I don’t have your number, but I wanted to make sure you’re okay.’

He can’t help the corners of his mouth twitching up anyway. Yeah, so Seungmin is a sucker for being thought about. What about it?

‘Thanks for checking on me. I'm fine now. It’s not that bad,’ he replies, adding his favorite smiling puppy sticker for emphasis. It doesn't really hurt that much anymore. Even his mood is improving.

He locks the phone, puts it down, and presses play on the movie.

Several minutes fly by after his reply. Seungmin now finds himself pausing the movie every other scene to check his phone and see if he’s been left on read. 

Sent.

It doesn't matter. But is he still going to check again after the next line of dialogue? Yes. 

Another scene passes.

He starts to wonder, Can people turn off read receipts now? How does that work? Then he spends a ridiculous amount of time DM-ing himself from a separate account to check it. In the end, other than the fact that he needs a new hobby, Seungmin can't come to a positive conclusion. 

He isn’t even sure why he is being all anxious. He just… needs to see if Hyunjin has received his message because it’s polite. And courteous. And decent, to make sure to thank Hyunjin for taking him home. 

Yep, that’s just it.

Another hour passes. 

Still no response.

His mind floats, unable to stand it any longer. Nick and Judy’s voices become background noise for his louder thoughts as he stares at the screen, no longer registering the scenes.

He supposes it won’t hurt to double-text. He is just thanking Hyunjin for doing something nice. It’s fine.

Mind made up, he picks up his phone again and opens the app, goes to his DMs, and clicks on Hyunjin’s username. He tries to come up with a thoughtful text that is only meant to show his gratitude. 

‘Before I forget,’ he types. Nice. Sounds busy but thoughtful. ‘I just wanted to say thank you for taking me home even though you didn't have to and for—

Three little dots pop up. 

Hyunjin is typing a reply. 

NO!

Seungmin slams his thumb on the backspace button, deleting his message as fast as he can, hoping Hyunjin hasn't seen the typing bubble. 

But then— Hyunjin also stops typing. The dots vanish. Oh no.

Seungmin waits. He waits for a bit, but no message comes through. 

This means it is Seungmin’s turn, right?

It's fine. He is just thanking him. He takes a brave breath and starts typing again. 

Before he can finish, the dots reappear. 

NO!!!

Seungmin bites down a fingernail.

It eventually becomes a long game of message tug-of-war; both of them clearly having something to say, but also too polite to interrupt the other. 

Seungmin huffs. He needs to thank Hyunjin if this is the last damning message he ever sends in his life!

Finally, he clicks the send arrow, squeezes his eyes shut, and throws the phone on the mattress.

His phone pings.

He peeks through one eye.

‘Not a problem at all. I actually live close by.’

Close by…

Does that mean they are going to run into each other at some point?

Close by?

The warm, fuzzy feeling evaporates instantly. If Hyunjin lives close, then… a certain person might visit him. Might possibly bump into Seungmin too. He gulps. The odds of that happening are slim but not zero. The thought alone terrifies him.

While he is busy being nervous about a meeting that might never even happen, another message comes through.

‘Because it's easier than Instagram, here's my number. Text me anytime you want.’

Seungmin stares at the string of digits on the screen. 

Until his mind registers what it is. He doesn’t have Hyunjin’s number. He has never had Hyunjin's number. There has never really been a reason for him to have Hyunjin’s number.

He thumbs down on the screen and copies it. Saving it won’t hurt anything, he reasons to himself. Besides, if he doesn't save it, it might be an awkward situation in the future, right? 

And because it is also common courtesy, he has to make sure Hyunjin knows he has saved his number. That is the only reason he opens his text messages to send him something. 

‘It's Seungmin.’ Straightforward. Simple. Not too enthusiastic, but it leaves no room for doubt that it is, indeed, Seungmin. 

A few seconds pass before he receives a confirmation text from Hyunjin, and of course he has to respond with another confirmation text—and then Hyunjin asks him a question, and he responds and asks a question too, and their conversation continues, until his laptop is tucked safely away, until he is curled up under the duvet in the dark, until he falls asleep with the phone in his hand later that night. Because Seungmin is respectful and polite. 

Not because he genuinely enjoys talking to Hyunjin all night. Obviously.

The next day at work, Seungmin feels energized enough that he doesn't care what kind of lactose-fueled frenzy bursts through the door. He can handle anything. He was born to pour hundreds of cups of coffee with hearts and butterflies and leaves made of steamed milk. 

Okay, maybe he needs to consider something more ambitious. But, for the first time in months, Seungmin feels like a human being. He serves the first wave of customers without making a mistake and credits that to getting a sound, full night's sleep. 

He doesn’t even flinch when a too-familiar face appears through the door this time. Already, the guy has slowly crept his way to becoming a part of Seungmin’s routine. Iced Americano and a dessert if he has homework.

“What can I get for you?” Seungmin still asks in pretense, like he doesn't know him beyond just being another one of his customers.

Hyunjin scratches his chin that is beginning to sprout a scruffy stubble. It makes him look a little rugged. Seungmin absently thinks it suits him, then makes a mental note to tell him later—that is, if they get to talk at all.

“I think one iced Americano and two eggbreads,” Hyunjin tells him, digging out his wallet.

“Two?”

“I didn't have time to eat breakfast.”

Seungmin frowns. That is not enough food this late in the morning. Hyunjin needs to eat more. “You are not on some weird diet, are you?”

Hyunjin laughs, handing him a wad of bills. “No, I just overslept.”

Seungmin smooths the papers out. He really can’t help but feel concerned now. In fact, he has a lot to say about it. Hyunjin is spending more than he has, not eating enough, and choosing overpriced café food that definitely preys on tired, desperate, sleep-deprived college students like him. 

If Seungmin wasn't currently on the clock, he would have already scolded him before dragging him to a proper meal somewhere.

“Don't do that,” Hyunjin says, the words just quiet enough that the other customers can't hear. When Seungmin only looks up at him, he adds, “I promise I'm eating well.”

“Real food,” Seungmin hisses.

“Then I wouldn't get to say hi to you every day,” Hyunjin replies casually, sporting one of his rugged, unfair smiles. 

Despite himself, Seungmin feels the flush creep up his neck. It's instantaneous, this time for a totally different reason than spilled espresso. He hangs his head low as he steps back to make the coffee, careful not to show how flustered he is for simply being… noticed. 

After cutting himself off from other people—pretty much everyone—he has gotten used to being a faceless part of everyone's day. If a major tragedy happens, no one will remember what the barista looks like. No one ever comes to see him. 

Except Hyunjin now, he supposes.

Hyunjin is a kind guy. Foolish, but kind.

As Hyunjin takes his order and finds a table nearby, pulling out his laptop to battle his demons again, Seungmin wonders if it is another paper on something for a class that wouldn't matter in the end. He hopes Hyunjin’s classes won't prevent him from getting a good job, because the guy has a big heart and clearly cares a lot about it. He can’t even remember Hyunjin ever being one to study, but here he is, living in a coffee shop. 

Seungmin sighs. At least, he's trying.

After an hour and a few minutes, Seungmin looks up to see how he is doing. Hyunjin is idly slurping at his empty coffee cup. Again. It is obviously empty already. The straw is making that dying vacuum sound. And he hasn’t even touched his food.

Seungmin exhales sharply, feeling the aggravation well up in him.

With brisk movements, he wipes his hands dry on his apron and marches over to Hyunjin’s table. He takes his food and cup away and pointedly ignores Hyunjin when he looks up and calls out for him to stop. Seungmin will not be stopped. He walks back to the counter and refills the coffee and shoves the bread in the microwave. He has to do everything for him—he fumes as he watches the bread spin—and he's not even dating his best friend anymore! 

Ridiculous.

The microwave timer beeps softly. 

Seungmin marches back and sets the warm food down with a soft thud. He returns to work not saying anything, not even to acknowledge the raspy thank-you Hyunjin offers to his back. 

Hmph. Seungmin has too much to do for the day.

Much later, when Seungmin finishes his shift at the usual time, Hyunjin is still at the table. Still busy working and out of coffee once again. It has Seungmin exhaling a puff of breath and shaking his head as he reaches for his wallet, pulls out enough money for two bottles of water and rings them up at the register. His job perks do not entail stuff he doesn’t personally grind and brew himself.

Taking off his apron, he drops it into the chair across from Hyunjin and sits himself diagonally from him so the laptop screen won't cover his face. He slides the cold water bottle across the table to get Hyunjin’s attention. “Drink this.”

Hyunjin startles, his head whipping so quickly Seungmin fears for his poor neck. “What?”

“Your kidneys need a break,” Seungmin chides, too exasperated to laugh even though Hyunjin looks like a deer caught in headlights—which is really funny and still makes him smile, despite feeling the exhaustion from standing on his feet all day.

Hyunjin’s shoulders ease immediately. “Oh, thank you.” He unscrews the bottle cap and drinks, his Adam's apple bobbing as he steadfastly gulps down. 

Seungmin watches. He does not know why he locks onto the motion, watches as Hyunjin wipes the moisture from his mouth with the back of his large hand… as his long fingers return to typing… 

“You finished for the day?” Hyunjin asks.

“Yeah.” 

Now that Seungmin has nothing much to do… he watches Hyunjin work. His gaze slides up to Hyunjin's profile, the sharp jawline, the slightly furrowed thick brows, the dark eyes that could probably intimidate anyone, the tall nose, the plush lips forming a straight line.

Completely focused, completely in control…

Handsome. The thought hits him with the subtlety of a brick.

“Do you have any plans?”

Seungmin shakes his head and by extension, himself out of it. “Just going to go home and watch a movie or two. How much work do you have left?”

Hyunjin’s frown deepens. “I think a few more pages. You don't have to stay if it keeps you from your movie time.”

“You can't get free drinks if I go home.”

Hyunjin looks back at him, as though the realization finally hits that the constant stream of coffee isn't a result of his resourcefulness at all but in fact, the result of a dedicated little guardian angel who can’t stand watching him slurp from an empty straw. His sharp eyes soften significantly. “You didn't have to do that.”

Seungmin shrugs. “I know. But if you screw up your paper from exhaustion while under my care, I don't want to have to go have a word with your professor.”

Hyunjin chuckles under his breath, clearly holding back so he won’t disturb the other patrons. He looks so humored that it actually makes Seungmin consider a future in comedy. “Are you going to kick his ass?”

Seungmin sticks his leg out from under the table and swings it from left to right like he’s threatening to fight anyone with it. 

Hyunjin shakes his head and laughs some more, rich and low. “Maybe you shouldn't fight anyone.”

“I'll fight everyone.”

“Please don't do that.”

“I've gotta.” 

This time, Hyunjin bursts into a laugh so loud that it reverberates in the cafe, and Seungmin's face burns red from all the attention they are drawing. Hyunjin hides behind his laptop, trying and failing to contain himself, still shaking with bouts of laughter. 

Thankfully, he quiets down enough that the customers lose interest. Seungmin can breathe again.

“Hah… I think I've been studying for too long.” Hyunjin starts to move his things away. He stands up and stretches, arms, neck, and shoulders, until joints pop left and right. 

This close, Seungmin swears—swears—he does not look at how those forearm and shoulder muscles bulge and flex as they tense up. He is staring at the wall. Such a very interesting wall. 

“Let's go,” Hyunjin says.

Let's? Both of us?

Seungmin wants to open his mouth and tell Hyunjin that he is going home, but the words do not come out like they should have. 

So here Seungmin is again, clocked out of shift and all ready to head home, yet following Hyunjin out of the coffee shop and onto the busy streets like he is bewitched.

“What do you want to do?” Hyunjin asks as they stand still at the roadside. The sun is still bright at three in the afternoon, and it casts such a nice, warm glow over Hyunjin’s features, makes him look golden.

I want to go home and watch a movie in my Pochacco pajamas. “I don't know. I haven't thought about it.” 

What a traitorous, lying mouth!

Hyunjin’s dimples peek out, somehow looking more motivated than he was five seconds ago. “You said you were going to watch a movie?"

Seungmin nods, too trusting and surprisingly, a lot less mournful at the reminder that his cozy afternoon routine is truly out of his reach today. “Yeah?”

“Let's go.”

Wait!

Like a force of the wind, Hyunjin sets off walking, his heavy-looking laptop bag slung over one shoulder and its strap secured in his grip, his sure steps towards a direction that Seungmin is not really sure about. His pace is quicker, obviously excited—and trust, as a normally paced walker, Seungmin would know. 

He stares at Hyunjin's broad shoulders and feels that urge, that push to follow him, despite not knowing the destination. 

Before Seungmin can step one foot forward, Hyunjin stops and turns back, smiling at him sheepishly. Dear lord. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” Seungmin says. I guess?

They stand in line at a small, local movie theater in the middle of the afternoon, right when no one is there. Seungmin knows this even without scouring the entire place, because the small parking area had been almost empty. 

As he looks at the towering man beside him, Seungmin can't help still feeling strangely nervous. 

After Seungmin had sneaked a few glances at his very focused driver earlier, he came to the conclusion that the warmth pooling and coiling in his gut, the little tingles running under his skin to the tips of his fingers and toes—was probably because they have never really hung out together before. Just the two of them. It's the novelty of it. 

Seungmin is just subconsciously apprehensive because this is something new. In the past, his ex had always been the reason he and Hyunjin were ever in the same room together, and rarely did they go to the movies as a trio.

Hyunjin squints at the screen showing the showtimes. “What do you like?”

“What are you in the mood for?” Seungmin asks back, trying to get Hyunjin to choose since, after all, this is his idea. It’s Hyunjin who obviously wants to go to the movies, and Seungmin has simply ended up with him here at the theater somehow. No other conceivable reason whatsoever.

Hyunjin shakes his head back at him. “You're younger so you get to choose.”

Fine. That’s fair. Seungmin’s mouth twists in thought, secretly delighted that he gets to choose after all. What kind of movie will both of them like though? Zombies? Romance? Ah, everyone likes Deadpool. There is also one of those movies playing…

As it turns out, there is no Deadpool movie playing, but there is a horror film showing at that moment, so honestly, how bad can it be? It is also a popular film, so it must be one for a reason. 

Seungmin points to his chosen film poster excitedly, too oblivious to notice the way Hyunjin looks at him—dark, fond eyes fixed solely on Seungmin's face, ignoring the movie posters entirely.

In the dark, it is as if the theater swallows them whole. 

They have decided to skip popcorn and snacks because one, they are expensive, and two, because Hyunjin has already consumed more or less a liter of coffee, and while Seungmin may occasionally find it fun to tease him, he doesn't actually want his poor organs to shut down. 

Besides, he doesn't want his own face puffing up from the excess salt in the snacks. Seungmin would rather not come out of the theater looking more frightening than the movie itself.

“I don't get scared easily,” Hyunjin tells him before the movie starts. It sounds like a challenge. “But it's fine if you do.”

Oh, but Seungmin is nothing if not a fighter. “I don't get scared either.” 

It is just a movie. He can out-brave Hyunjin.

The lights dim as the movie begins. Seungmin settles himself plushly into his seat. This is just like watching a movie at home, but on a bigger screen with lots of seats and a sound system so loud it sends every bass booming through his body. He expects to feel more anxious. Expects to feel the urge to run, being out and about with someone he is not close to. But surprisingly, the way he feels around Hyunjin settles into a low simmer. It's… comforting. A little overwhelming at times, but comforting.

The movie is not too bad. It has a few jump scares and creepy dolls and an eerie premise, but certainly nothing that Seungmin cannot handle. 

He just hopes it isn’t too boring for his companion, who—Seungmin now adds to his small but slowly growing list of ‘everything Hyunjin’—does not seem to know what true fear is, judging by the tension, or lack thereof, on his side. 

Did he fall asleep?

Seungmin freezes. He doesn't dare look over and risk making things awkward, but he is quite sure Hyunjin did. Should he discreetly check if the guy actually got bored and dozed off? How else is he supposed to know? If he picked a boring movie, his impeccable taste in films will never be trusted again.

He has to check.

His pulse heightens as he risks turning his head slightly to the right, straining his eyes to catch a glimpse…

SCREECH

The ghost on the screen lunges forward—

And jolts the shit out of Seungmin. He jumps back into his seat, hands instantly balling into fists, ready to fight the darkness. 

Beside him, there is a soft chuckle.

A hand closes around his wrist that's still shaking from pure adrenaline. Shockingly firm, the contact grounds him instantly, stopping him from actually swinging and punching something mid-air. Seungmin clutches his own chest with his free hand, surprised at how surprised he had been, speechless as his raised arm is guided back to the armrest. 

Hyunjin holds it there. Holds it for longer than is necessary now, his thumb sweeping a slow arc above the racing pulse point on Seungmin's wrist. 

It starts a different riot in his chest. 

In the dark, under what little light there is from the projector, it feels… intoxicating. For one terrifying, weightless second, Seungmin wants to lean into the warmth.

Then the touch is gone. 

Seungmin flexes his hand, draws it back to his side where he can comfortably grip the seat. His skin tingles, cold, but his limbs no longer shake that much. He is not scared! Just surprised, caught off guard while not paying attention.

For the rest of the movie, Seungmin has gotten more sensitive, so much so that he now feels the curious pair of eyes glancing at him every so often—so often in fact that it makes it hard to concentrate on the woman currently being eaten alive by the long-haired ghost. 

He knows Hyunjin is not staring so much as only making sure Seungmin does not square up again. 

Self-conscious about it, Seungmin leans over, just close enough to whisper where Hyunjin can hear. “It's not that scary.”

Hyunjin's breath tickles his ear. “Whatever you say.” 

“What do you mean it wasn't scary,” Seungmin demands as they walk back to the car. 

The sky has taken on a lazy shade of dark gray while they were inside, and Seungmin realizes with a start, that he has somehow spent his whole day with Hwang Hyunjin.

“I just don't get scared easily.” Hyunjin smirks. He is having too much fun, to Seungmin’s demise. Basking in his victory like a lizard on a rock. “It's okay that you do.”

“I don't!”

Hyunjin’s boyish grin becomes infuriatingly— ugh. “It's cute.”

“It is not cute,” Seungmin protests, not resisting the urge to stomp after him. “Who are you to call me cute? I'm the same age as you!”

“But you are cute when you're scared.”

Seungmin raises his hands. He balls his fist in the air. He can really fight him! He took a few boxing classes from Changbin before!

Hyunjin is not fazed, smiling confidently and contentedly. The sight of those deep dimples truly grates on Seungmin’s nerves. “Always ready to fight someone, aren't you?”

“I'll fight you if you don't cut it out!”

“Oooh! So tiny!” Hyunjin heckles, now skipping back as Seungmin starts swinging at him.

“We're the same size!” Seungmin cries out, because, of course, Hyunjin is very athletic and can dodge fucking fast.

“Hardly!”

Seungmin bends down, nearly taking off his shoe to throw it at him, but he stops himself just in time. Because then he'll risk losing his insole. That will not help his argument in the slightest.

He straightens up, fuming.

As if to be extra annoying, Hyunjin opens and holds the passenger door for Seungmin with a gentlemanly bow and waits for him to get in. Seungmin almost refuses out of spite, but the sight also tickles him enough that he doesn't feel like being heckled anymore. 

Before Hyunjin closes the door for him, he leans down to drive his point home. “Wouldn't want any ghosts to snatch the princess away before we leave.”

Seungmin is furious. 

He burns in indignation, a flutter, a spark. He hates it. He hates that he doesn't hate it. This is by far the strangest, most exhausting friendship he has ever had!

…they are friends, right?

Yeah. They can be. If Hyunjin stops being the most annoying person on the planet.

Hyunjin rounds the car and hops into the driver's seat with a bigass grin. “Well, that was fun.”

Seungmin tries not to glare. He chooses peace as he checks the time on his phone, and immediately, he sighs under his breath. 

He happens to know, on very good authority, that Hyunjin hasn't eaten actual food all day. Seungmin hasn't either, but he also isn't trying to survive college. Someone is going to have to take care of Hyunjin, and right now that someone is Seungmin because apparently, it doesn't look like anyone else is capable of doing the job! Hyunjin seriously needs to eat well if he is going to become a social worker. “Let's go get something to eat.”

Hyunjin looks at him in surprise. “You're not ready to go home?” 

“I think we need some meat,” Seungmin adds, already scouring his online map for options, following his train of thought and ignoring the question.

He doesn't bother sharing how he came to that conclusion. Hyunjin would be a fool to refuse. After all, it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have Kim Seungmin offer to spend more time than necessary with a human being he isn’t extraordinarily comfortable with.

“I…” Hyunjin hesitates. He scratches his neck, looking suddenly shy. “Uh… I don't know if I can afford that…”

“I've got it.” Seungmin waves his hand regally, signaling for his chauffeur to drive. “You got the movie tickets so dinner's on me.”

Hearing that must be like winning the lottery with how Hyunjin instantly perks up. He happily drives off, content to let Seungmin be his navigator. They find a barbecue place nearby through GPS, and while Seungmin thinks that they probably need more people to make the costs worthwhile, there isn't anyone he feels like inviting. Hopefully, Hyunjin won't feel inclined either.

“I didn't know you were a big meat eater,” Hyunjin remarks, driving leisurely now that Seungmin has finally decided on a place.

“I'm not, but I guess it's just that kind of day.” White lie, yada yada.

“Pork belly or beef?”

Seungmin hums. "What do you like?"

“I haven't had beef in a while…” 

Of course. Hyunjin does not even bother to hide how obviously hopeful he is with the way his eyes are shining at Seungmin and back at the road ahead. Whatever happened to shame? 

Seungmin rolls his eyes, already feeling his wallet evaporating into thin air. “Beef it is.”

Hyunjin bounces his hand on the steering wheel like an excited child. Like a big, gruff baby. At this rate, Seungmin is going to have to personally keep him from breaking something.

They make it to the restaurant and head inside. 

Immediately, Seungmin starts feeling vulnerable again, out in the open like this, acutely aware that they can be seen together by anyone. The odds are slim, but the specific person he is avoiding happens to be Hyunjin's best friend. That makes things a lot more nerve-wracking. 

But this is okay. This is fine. 

He can be friends with whomever he wants to, and so what if that is Hwang Hyunjin? It’s not like anybody owns Seungmin to try and dictate his life. He's a free agent.

They sit down and order three servings to start with. It isn't a lot, but for two broke people, it is a frugal guessing game paired with several refills of side dishes. 

It feels nice, though. Making sure Hyunjin is well-fed. Seungmin can at least do this much. He watches the meat sizzle and feels satisfaction settle in his chest.

And boy, does Hyunjin eat a lot. 

Not that he is trying to be gluttonous, no, but he looks like he hasn't seen a real meal in days. Seungmin wonders, worriedly, if he actually hasn't.

They make each other wraps, some normal, some with dubious ingredients—of course, true to the Hyunjin vs Seungmin spirit—and spend the evening talking and enjoying each other's company. 

Belatedly, Seungmin thinks to himself, as he laughs and munches away and watches Hyunjin doing the same, that maybe having a friend to spend all of his time with again isn't so bad after all.

“Tell me something,” Hyunjin says as he carefully works on his next bite of lettuce wrap. “It's none of my business, but… why did you disappear?”

There it is, the question. 

Seungmin takes a breath, preparing himself, thinking for a moment how to answer without sounding pathetic. “I guess, I just wanted a fresh start. I wanted a clean break for everyone involved.”

Hyunjin nods. His eyes are honest, open, like he genuinely understands.

Gathering the courage from that, Seungmin finally broaches the unspoken, forbidden topic. “How is he?”

The sizzle of the meat seems louder.

This time, Hyunjin avoids his gaze. Staring at the grill, he answers plainly. “He's fine.”

“Do you see him much?”

"Not lately.” 

Hyunjin is still not meeting his eyes, preferring the greens of the lettuce and smoke from the cooking meat instead of Seungmin, and the sinking feeling hitting Seungmin is less about the past and much more about the fact that Hyunjin is not looking at him right now. Why? What’s wrong? 

“I've been busy with school and stuff,” Hyunjin adds.

If Hyunjin is worried that Seungmin is still hurting at the very mention of Changbin, well… he is realizing now that maybe the initial heartbreak has just been so big that he’s deluded himself into thinking that it’d still hurt the same. He thought it would still hurt. But the pain is no longer there, more a phantom whisper of memory if anything. 

The realization, the subsequent assurance, makes his heart feel lighter. 

Looking at the way Hyunjin is acting with him right now, though… 

Seungmin redirects the conversation, ready to drop the topic himself. “How is school?”

Hyunjin lets out a groan. Seungmin can tell from the tension instantly draining from his shoulders that he’s relieved to be talking about something else. “I'm this close to quitting and becoming a model or something.”

Those dark eyes are back on him. Seungmin breathes out, feeling like things are back in their rightful place. Yes, we're okay. This feels better. 

Worries forgotten, his brow lifts up. Hyunjin just gave him quality material to tease him about and he is not going to pass up on it. “Do you even know how to pose?”

“I am handsome enough,” Hyunjin quips right away, already immune to Seungmin's insults.

“You’re not even half of that tall ghost we saw.”

Hyunjin scoffs. “Fifty more showers and he can get on my level.”

“Now you’re just full of yourself.” 

That smirk forms slowly on Hyunjin’s lips. “You know I’m hotter.”

Wow. Seungmin rolls his eyes, finding it hard to believe how absurd Hyunjin can get. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Hyunjin is being strangely competitive against a movie ghost—which just doesn't make sense. 

But then Seungmin feels the upward tug at the corners of his mouth, struggling to keep it down the more he talks to this man. Warmth creeps up his face, spreading to his body in silent, traitorous agreement of… what. Woah. Seungmin decides his little train of thoughts has derailed enough. “What,” he clears his dry throat, rolling up his sleeves, desperate to feel the cold air. “What are you having problems with, anyway?”

There is a glint, something in Hyunjin’s eyes that has Seungmin feeling the air temperature rising instead—like… like he knows something—before Hyunjin looks down and flips more meat for the two of them. It happens so fast Seungmin can't convince himself it was ever there.

“Mostly this research paper.” Hyunjin frowns. “I wish I could have picked an easier topic.”

Seungmin nods slowly. Actually, you know, since he is Hyunjin’s good friend now… “Do you need help?”

“Do you know anything about sociological models?” Hyunjin looks up with hope.

“No."

Hyunjin deflates. “That's okay. It's too much to ask.”

“Unless you just want a study buddy.” Seungmin offers quickly, not wanting to let him down. “I can be very good at looking things up.”

For a while, Hyunjin seems to consider it. He looks at Seungmin’s must-be eager face, at the offer hanging in the air. Then he promptly waves it off. “That's okay, you have a busy job. The last thing you want to do is homework.”

Seungmin smiles. “That's true. Homework does sound awful.”

“It is awful.” Hyunjin nods, putting the best cooked slices onto Seungmin’s plate. “It's not worth it.”

“It will be,” Seungmin promises. He doesn't truly know the college experience, but… With a gentle smile on his lips, Seungmin reaches across the table and places a comforting hand on Hyunjin's own, meant to offer strength and encouragement to a friend having a rough time. He gives it a gentle squeeze. 

Then he pulls away and goes back to his dinner, minding his own business, ignoring the lingering gaze that follows.

Hyunjin's presence becomes a part of Seungmin’s routine, as much as brushing his teeth or wearing his glasses are. 

If Hyunjin doesn't have morning classes, he spends his time with Seungmin's shift at the cafe, his spending on coffee and cakes slowly reducing now that he is less likely to get kicked out. He doesn’t distract Seungmin while he works. In fact, he is too busy with his schoolwork to even look up from his laptop half the time.

Seungmin likes seeing him every day. 

Sometimes, Hyunjin only stops by before his class to say hi and grab a quick pick-me-up, but it always manages to brighten Seungmin's day. 

At first, it had all been rather random and spontaneous. Neither of them asked for the other's schedule, so Seungmin had no idea of when Hyunjin's classes were, and Hyunjin had no idea of when Seungmin was working except that he was typically scheduled in the mornings and sometimes midday. After a few days of guessing and waiting long after his shift ended to see if Hyunjin would show up, they started exchanging courtesy texts:

I can't come by today

Good luck at school!

.

.

.

I'm not working today

You wanna do something?

.

.

.

I'll be late coming by

I'll wait for you

So now, Seungmin is waiting. 

He's been waiting for fifteen minutes past the time he is supposed to go home. His legs are not exactly interested in cooperating after an eight-hour shift, but he tries to lift them one by one. It results in a pathetic heavy shuffle that is better left undocumented. 

Standing outside the cafe, with his apron bundled in his arms, a cold front comes out of nowhere and brushes against his cheeks. Seungmin shivers as the chill seeps through his thin work shirt sleeves. He can’t wait to go home, change into something warmer before crawling into bed, bundled and comfortable and finally relaxed…

“Seungmin!” 

Startled out of his daydreams, Seungmin jumps a bit, turning around to see him.

Hyunjin’s bag is slung over his shoulder with papers barely wedged in. His windswept hair sticks up on all sides. 

Seungmin smiles at him. He walks to meet him halfway, almost skipping as he does. “How was school?”

Hyunjin’s face scrunches up. “I think my professors had a bet to see who can make us suffer the most.”

“Who's winning?”

“Math,” Hyunjin groans.

“Ahh, is that where you just came from?”

“Yeah, but I have to go back in a couple of hours…”

“Oh.” Seungmin fails to hide the way he deflates, disappointment hitting coldly.

Hyunjin perks up. “But let's get going.”

“Where… where are we going?” Seungmin asks, already eager to follow him.

“Home.”

“Home?”

Hyunjin nods, walking a step ahead. “I want to take you back real quick before I have to go back to class.”

Seungmin blinks. Hyunjin rushed here, just to bring him home? He laughs softly, touched in a way that makes his heart ache a little. Or maybe that's just his teeth aching from the weather. “You don't have to do that. I can just take the bus.”

“My car smells a lot better than a bus.”

“Does it?” Seungmin teases, just because he can.

Hyunjin scowls expectedly. His face is so fun to watch, more so when he gets annoyed. “At least it does before you make it smell like perfume.”

“Hey! I smell great,” Seungmin fights back. 

Discreetly, he sniffs his own shirt while Hyunjin is not looking.

“You smell okay,” Hyunjin grumbles.

“Great,” Seungmin presses. “I smell great.”

Hyunjin shakes his head, already looking exhausted. “I should make you take the bus.”

“I’ll do it.” Seungmin is not the slightest bit threatened. 

Hyunjin sighs again. “No, you won’t.” And like clockwork, he opens the car door for Seungmin. “Get in.”

Seungmin smiles indulgently. He slides into the passenger seat, quite very pleased with himself for being annoying even when he is getting a free ride home. What other ways can he annoy Hyunjin today, he wonders.

When they finally make it to Seungmin’s building, Hyunjin looks like he's aged three more years. If they never speak again, it is entirely Seungmin’s fault for pushing every button the boy has. 

Despite it all, for some reason, Hyunjin keeps coming back.

For another week, they would spend every single day together, even if it is only for as short as fifteen minutes. 

Interestingly, it is as if Seungmin has his life back. Free from thoughts of the past or worries about the future. He just has the present, like how it’s always supposed to be. 

Seungmin even considers going back to school, if he can get accepted. He might be a bit older than the current entry pool, but trying again doesn't seem like such a bad idea. 

His evening movie sessions in bed are now replaced by trips to the theater. They no longer bother picking anymore, just buying tickets for whatever is playing and hoping for the best. Seungmin learns that, while he almost doesn't feel fear, Hyunjin is a big crybaby who pretends not to openly sob during the sad parts. Plus, they both enjoy action and sports movies, and would feed off each other’s adrenaline, sometimes smacking each other in excitement or gripping each other's arms during an intense scene where the hero fights the villain.

Hyunjin stops consuming excessive amounts of coffee in the mornings, too, and it is mostly thanks to Seungmin nagging him to go to bed earlier. They text constantly, but whenever 11:00 PM hits, Seungmin somehow convinces him to sleep. 

Although he will never admit it, lying in bed and texting—bothering—Hyunjin until he falls asleep has made Seungmin have better dreams himself. Now his dreams are warmer, softer… even if they are tinged with an underlying layer of guilt he can't quite place, sitting in his gut when he wakes up, as though it is wrong for him to have them.

It is Seungmin’s day off today. 

Naturally, he sleeps in, stretched languidly across his bed in just his oversized shirt and underwear, happy to finally have some time to himself away from work and the smell of roasted beans. 

By the time he wakes up and has some sense of life, he reaches for his phone. It is already 10 AM, and he has one text message.

goodmorning~

Seungmin closes his eyes and groans.

omg I forgot to tell you 

I'm not working today

A few minutes slips before he gets a reply.

that's ok I'm in class right now ;) enjoy your day off

don't text in class >:((

you can't stop meee

I'm not going to text you anymore!!!

hahaha whatever you say

See? Seungmin huffs. Annoying. 

He drops his phone on the bed and falls back into cuddling his pillow. The smile stays on his face, stubborn.

His phone buzzes again.

ya kim seungmin what are you doing later

idk I have to check my schedule why

what schedule lol

.

😃

let's do something minnie

what

it's a surprise

?!??!?

you're so annoying

shhhh I'm trying to take notes

OMG BYE

A laugh bubbles in his chest. He can’t help but be curious. What would they do that still warrants being a secret? Movies and food aren't a secret. 

Hyunjin even forgot to give him a specific time. What is Seungmin supposed to do then? It’s not like he can afford waiting around all day. He still has important things to take care of today. Seungmin sighs. Important things.

He swings his bare legs out of bed, totally unsure of how much time he has left with such a mysterious schedule, yet weirdly excited about it too. He can't exactly place why, doesn't have time to mull it over anyway, because he has to run to the store now before he has no time left at all. 

After showering, he throws on a loose sweater and white pants, and heads out. He is only picking up a few things from the market, so it shouldn't take long. 

With every minute he spends wandering aimlessly through the various isles, the phone in his pocket only grows heavier with anticipation.

Just as he is about to finish buying enough food to last him until his next day off, he notices the candy display at the register. Hyunjin is young and foolish, and young and foolish people love candies. Which then leads Seungmin to conclude that, as his younger but much wiser friend, he should buy Hyunjin some and then make Hyunjin share it with him. He grabs some gummy bears and chocolates. Yes, that is the nice and responsible thing to do.

Hyunjin finally texts him once he's out of his first class, saying he has another one right after it so they can't talk much. Seungmin does learn that he has to be ready to leave by four later, thankfully, so at least that settles his nerves. 

Thus he spends the rest of the day catching up on a show and cleaning up his apartment, glad that he isn't too rushed. 

When the time comes to leave, he meets Hyunjin outside and pesters him right away before Hyunjin can so much as open his mouth to greet him. “Where are we going?” 

“Hey to you too.” Hyunjin smiles, somehow still managing to look dashing and devilish in a wrinkled university hoodie and washed jeans. “It's a secret.”

Seungmin's eyes narrow immediately. Getting the information out of Hyunjin is like pulling teeth. “What if I don't get in the car?”

“Then you'll have to stay home,” Hyunjin answers simply. He knows Seungmin is too curious for his own damn good. “Let's go.”

Seungmin huffs. He half expects Hyunjin to threaten to do something, and a part of Seungmin is just a tiiiny bit disappointed when Hyunjin doesn't do anything. You know, like, carry him, perhaps… although Hyunjin might not be able to carry him…

Could he? Seungmin wonders, glancing at Hyunjin's arms now conveniently out in the open after he takes off the hoodie, left in his less wrinkled black tee that fits him like—well, really well. Hmm.

Probably.

Once settled in the car, Seungmin pulls out his present. “I got you something.” He opens the bag and pours out chocolates into Hyunjin's hand.

“For me? You shouldn't have.” Hyunjin tosses them all into his mouth. They are caramel-centered, so  now he is probably realizing how eating them all at once is a bad idea. “Mmm. Chewy.”

“You have to share with me, though.” Seungmin pops one into his own mouth.

Hyunjin smiles knowingly. Seungmin doesn’t know if he should hate it or preen over how Hyunjin can already tell well. “What if I don't want to?”

“Then I won't buy you any more candy.” Ha, Seungmin is a master of these games. 

Hyunjin just sticks out his hand for more, even batting his eyes playfully. Seungmin rolls his eyes and pours him another handful. Hyunjin thanks him sweetly.

“So where are we going?” Seungmin tries again.

“It's a secret.”

Seungmin whines. “Why?”

“It's just…” Hyunjin shifts in his seat. He suddenly looks serious. “Just something I want to do with you, okay?”

Seungmin blinks. Huh. Well. He decides not to press Hyunjin further than in amusing ways. “Is it going to be fun?” he asks, softening his tone, hoping to bring back Hyunjin’s excitement. “Will there be a lot of people there?”

“There will be people.” Hyunjin smiles. He is still too careful not to spoil the details away, much to Seungmin's chagrin. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to talk to any of them.”

Seungmin laughs. “Am I that rude?” 

Hyunjin grins. “No, you’re just shy.” His thick brows furrow together. “Ah, when you’ve warmed up though, you never shut up. So fussy.”

Seungmin’s jaw drops at him. This slanderer! “Not true!”

“Fussy, fussy, fussy.”

Seungmin swats at him. “No more candy for you.”

Safe at the stop light, Hyunjin turns his head to look at him just to dramatically jut his bottom lip out.

“Don’t pout,” Seungmin scolds him.

Hyunjin bats his eyes at him sadly.

“Oh my god, fine. Take the candy.” 

Seungmin is really going to fight him.

This time, he directly feeds him the gummy bears—because he now learns Hyunjin loves gummies more—like Hyunjin is a giant awful baby who is testing Seungmin's last nerves. Hyunjin wiggles his eyebrows and chews happily, back to driving while Seungmin infuriatingly thinks of questions to get more clues. He rather prefers being productive. 

“Will it be noisy?”

Hyunjin hums. “It could be.”

“Could be?”

“Depending on how you look at it.”

Seungmin clicks his tongue against the back of his teeth. “I honestly have no idea where this could be.”

“That's the goal.” Hyunjin smiles to himself, clearly satisfied. 

After a while and a lot more useless questions, Seungmin gives up trying to guess. He sits quietly for the rest of the car ride, daydreaming comfortably and occasionally feeding Hyunjin more candy.

They eventually arrive at a school.

Well, Seungmin didn't expect that at all. Out of all the places they could have gone, a children's school isn't exactly at the top of his list. 

He follows Hyunjin inside without asking any questions. Other people are there too, most of them much older than they are, and everyone is dressed nicely, but not so much that Seungmin felt out of place. They follow a path of arrows on the walls—leading to Hyunjin's secret location, he supposes—until they reach a line of adults they step in to join.

"What is this?" Seungmin whispers, leaning close enough that his lips brush against Hyunjin’s ear when the latter ducks to hear him. 

Hyunjin flinches slightly. Shivers? “You’ll see,” he whispers back, giving Seungmin’s hand an encouraging squeeze before pulling away.

Seungmin folds his arms across his chest. He tries not to pout. Really. But even this close, he can’t figure out what is going on. In contrast, Hyunjin looks calm, idly shifting his weight back and forth on his feet as the line slowly moves forward. 

Seungmin wonders what he is thinking about.

Within minutes, they reach the door. Hyunjin takes two orange tickets out from his pocket and hands them to a woman sitting at a white table. She smiles, dropping the tickets into a large, clear plastic bucket, then she hands them two armbands. 

Hyunjin takes them and holds one out to Seungmin. “Arm,” he murmurs.

Seungmin extends his wrist. Hyunjin wraps the band around it, careful fingers brushing against Seungmin's skin. He makes sure it's not too tight, smoothing down the adhesive strip with a gentle thumb.

Seungmin takes the other band and wraps it around Hyunjin's wrist too, feeling the solid bone, the strong pulse beneath it. He feels a little breathless, strangely. “Is there a carnival inside?”

Hyunjin chuckles lightly. “Just wait. It’s almost time.”

They enter a large auditorium that is already sparsely filled with guests. Hyunjin leads them to a pair of empty seats near the front, and based on the large curtained stage, Seungmin finally guesses they are going to watch a play.

“Okay, now you have to tell me.”

"We're going to watch something first, and then I'll answer all your questions.” A hint of excitement colors Hyunjin's voice.

They whisper back and forth like that while they wait for the show to start. Seungmin can't hide his excitement for whatever's behind the curtain either, and Hyunjin seems giddy that Seungmin is excited. 

The lights dim. 

When the curtain lifts, the audience claps as a group of children steps out on stage. 

Seungmin is going to cry.

The kids are all dressed up in historical costumes, some slightly too big for their frames. None of them seems to be older than eight or nine. The production begins with a song sung by a chorus of off-key children, accompanied by one very passionate child dressed as an emperor who Seungmin seriously thinks has a promising future in theater. They sing, dance, fight with plastic swords, fight with more swords, and even battle a dragon, which is actually three small children running around the stage in a red tube. 

It is easily the most adorable play Seungmin has ever seen. 

He can't remember the last time he has laughed and smiled so much. At one point, he is doubled over in tears from laughing until his stomach hurts.

When the kids finally bow, ending the performance, the audience stands up and cheers loudly for them. Seungmin claps until his hands are red. It is all so wonderful. He doesn't want it to be over, even as he slowly follows Hyunjin out to the exit.

Seungmin looks around the crowd, surprised that they don't speak to anyone. The others are chatting, shaking hands, and he expects Hyunjin to do the same. If Hyunjin brought him here, surely he must know someone in the play. Won’t they have stopped by to say hello? 

But Hyunjin keeps walking. He weaves through the crowd and doesn't say anything even on the way to the car, but he has this content, private smile on his face, his dimples barely peeking. He seems lost in thought. 

Seungmin stares at his side profile. He wants, for the umpteenth time that day, to know what he is really thinking about.

Settled in the car, the silence is comfortable. 

Hyunjin breaks it eventually. “Thank you for coming with me.”

Any other day, Seungmin might’ve said he doesn’t exactly have a choice in the matter, maybe even make a joke about it just to be annoying—but right now, looking at Hyunjin's soft expression, he decides against it. 

This is obviously important to Hyunjin. 

"It was so much fun,” Seungmin admits. “I can't believe how cute they were.”

"They are pretty cute, right?" Hyunjin smiles, and his nose wrinkles a bit. As they drive off, Hyunjin finally feels like explaining himself. “I volunteer at an orphanage on the weekends, and the kids get to put on a play a few times a year.”

Oh. “Who were all those people then?” Seungmin assumed they were the parents.

“Teachers, volunteers, donors. I’m not sure. I’m just glad they had someone to cheer for them.”

“I’m glad I got to,” Seungmin says softly. He means it. He really means it. He looks at Hyunjin. “You have to bring me to all of the other plays, okay?”

Hyunjin smiles at him, so much warmth in his eyes that it displaces everything in Seungmin's chest and makes it overflow. “Okay.”

They skip going somewhere for food. After being trapped in a dusty auditorium for an hour, the cool evening air feels too good to waste.

There is a park nearby, not far from where they both live. Hyunjin parks his car at his building, and from there they walk. Along the way, they stumble upon a vendor selling skewered chicken that smells like charcoal and spices, and honestly, it looks more tempting than anything they could have ordered at a restaurant in that moment.

Once armed with food, they stroll towards the park, munching as they go.

“I wish it was always this temperature,” Seungmin says around a mouthful of chicken.

Hyunjin mumbles ‘me too’ beside him. 

The sun has begun to set, painting the sky in bruised purples and oranges. There is no better way to end such a nice afternoon.

After walking together for a while, they take a break on a nearby bench to rest their feet.

“I wish we had something for the birds,” Hyunjin says, looking at one eyeing his skewer. “I don't think you're supposed to feed them chicken.”

Seungmin laughs. “Don’t know a lot about bird ethics, but I don't think so either.”

Hyunjin joins. “Guess they're on their own.”

“Next time, we'll bring snacks for them.” Seungmin looks around the neighborhood. “I didn't realize how close you lived.”

“Yeah, just a building over.”

“Not closer to campus?”

“It just turned out this way. The rent is a little better out here.”

Seungmin nods thoughtfully. “That's true. That's how I get to live alone.”

“You live alone?” Hyunjin asks in surprise.

“You don't?”

Hyunjin shakes his head. “I have a roommate. We went to school together and ended up going to the same college.”

“That's lucky. Do you like living together?”

“It's a small space, so sometimes it's hard to concentrate.”

“Is that why you come to the coffee shop so much?”

Hyunjin looks at him then, quizzically. Then he shakes his head. He smiles—fondly?—like he can't believe such a silly question. He says nothing.

“I'm glad you started coming in,” Seungmin adds softly.

“Yeah?”

“We got to start hanging out because of it, right?”

“That's true,” Hyunjin murmurs. The wind softens the sound. “But we've always kind of known each other.”

“Through a mutual friend.”

“A mutual friend,” Hyunjin repeats. He pauses in thought. “Do you still miss him?”

Seungmin shakes his head. He doesn't even have to think about it now. He doesn't even flinch. “Not really.”

“It's okay if you do,” Hyunjin tells him gently. “You're allowed to miss people.”

“I used to,” Seungmin admits. “For a long time, actually. I didn't think I would stop missing him. But now… now I only think, ‘what's the point anymore?’”

“What happened between you two? Only if you don’t mind me asking.”

Seungmin lets out a long, weighted sigh. “What did he tell you?”

“He didn’t.”

Seungmin eyes him. “Even though it was my fault?”

“Knowing him, that’s probably why he didn’t.”

Seungmin fights off the dull ache in his chest that tries to stop him from talking honestly. He looks at Hyunjin's open expression, sees the genuine curiosity there, and finally feels the urge to speak up. “We started fighting a lot over stupid stuff. We didn't get to spend any time together, and I got stupid and jealous… And one day, I woke up and thought, ‘If we never see each other again, would that be so terrible?’” Seungmin looks at a bird pecking on the ground. “I left, because that was a thought no one should ever have about someone they care about.”

Hyunjin listens with his eyebrows pinched together. He nods. “And is it?”

“Is what?”

“Is it terrible that you’ve never seen him since you disappeared?”

“It was,” Seungmin confesses. “I think for a while, I thought it was the worst mistake of my life.”

“And now?”

Seungmin smiles softly, the weight easing from his shoulders. “I don't miss him anymore.” He feels a little bashful now that they are talking about his feelings. Especially with who he tells it to. Changbin has obviously respected him enough not to talk about it with his best friend. “Can we talk about something else?”

Hyunjin nods, though for a while they simply sit in silence, equally lost in their own thoughts. 

It is much quieter now as the park slowly empties out. The streetlights flicker on as it gets darker. They are not the only people there, but somehow it feels like it. 

“I'm glad you came here with me,” Hyunjin tells him finally. His voice is softer, warmer… almost tender. “And that you've spent so much time with me these last couple of weeks.”

“It's been a lot of fun,” he replies, truthful. He feels happy. He truly does. The night is getting colder, but Hyunjin’s presence keeps him warm enough, he supposes, makes him feel less alone. Hyunjin could have bothered anyone else and yet here he is, choosing to spend his time with Seungmin. Choosing to pay attention, to hear him out. Sharing something so close to his heart. Seungmin is surprised and glad that the emotional conversation and niceness haven't created any awkwardness between them. Just this… cozy feeling. Intimate. Seungmin huffs a laugh. There is so much cotton in his chest. So much that it spills past his lips. “I'm glad that I have a friend like you in my life.”

Hyunjin looks into the distance.

He seems… deep in thought, a certain tenseness in his features that wasn't there before. Hyunjin's expression is his usual blank one, but his eyes now look troubled. He takes off his cap and runs a hand through his hair, only to put it back on. Seungmin watches quietly. Hyunjin takes a deep breath, and then—

“I'm not trying to be your friend.”

His mind blanks. 

What?

Hyunjin sighs, frowning. He is avoiding Seungmin's gaze. He takes off his cap again to fidget with the brim, runs a hand through his hair again.

Seungmin isn’t sure he gets what Hyunjin is saying. They are friends, right?

Friends. 

That is what this is, isn’t it? 

Why else…

Why else did he spend so much time with Seungmin if he doesn’t actually want to?

Is Seungmin just the old man with a grandfatherly smile he feels sorry for, after all? The kind of old man you won’t want to disappoint by not eating their food, no matter how spicy it is?

“I don't know how else I can say it.” 

Hyunjin sounds tired. But there's something else. Hurt? More hurt than mad. Why? 

Why would he…

“You seriously can't tell me you had no idea,” Hyunjin says when Seungmin can't still form a word.

Oh. 

Oh.

Seungmin bites down on his lip. A part of him crumbles, caught off guard by a conversation he isn't ready to have. 

“I…” There is the thought. Deep down, the thought that maybe he pushed the possibility of Hyunjin having feelings for him aside. Of course, because the idea seemed ridiculous. Because it was. It seemed impossible.

Seungmin tries to say something, to breathe. “I don't know what… what I'm supposed to say…”

“Did you really not know?” 

Hyunjin is looking at him now. His usually confident gaze is shaky. His frown deepens, and Seungmin can't ignore the unmistakable disappointment etched on his handsome face. The way it guts him.

“We can't,” Seungmin chokes out. He is panicking. He… This is… They can't. They can't. “It's not— right. And you know it. Being friends is sketchy enough, but if we... Hyunjin, he's your best friend…”

Hyunjin looks down. He nods then, releasing a weak, shaky laugh before composing himself. The moment he speaks again, his expression has smoothed over. “I guess I forgot, huh? No big deal.”

“Hyunjin…”

“Listen, I need to go attend to some things before it gets too late, but we'll catch up later. Okay?”

Hyunjin stands up smiling, dimpled cheeks and all, but… but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. He starts heading towards the direction of his building, and Seungmin gets up to stop him, but his mouth opens and closes on nothing. Wait! His mind screams, but— but the word refuses to come out. Something heavy churns in his gut, growing and choking his chest. Stop him, fix it—

His throat closes up.

Slumping back to the bench, Seungmin curls to himself, dropping his face to his hands. Even behind his closed eyelids, he sees Hyunjin's retreating figure.

Hyunjin won't stay mad at him, will he? 

Everything is going to be fine. Isn't it?

Hyunjin doesn’t show up at the cafe the following morning. 

There isn't any ‘good morning’ text either. Not even an emoji. It is not always necessary, but Hyunjin usually informs him whenever he can't make it. He usually sends him something. 

Today, there is nothing.

Every time the door opens, Seungmin finds himself looking up constantly, hoping Hyunjin will walk in. He never does. It's never him.

After his shift ends, Seungmin lingers, longer than he has to. He should go home. Instead, he stays back and waits. He sits at a table with his apron bunched up in his lap like a security blanket, picking at a sandwich he isn't hungry for. He doesn't have much of an appetite. 

An hour dwindles while Seungmin keeps watching the door to no avail, like a dog waiting for its owner. Until he thinks he's been waiting long enough. 

He isn't coming. Seungmin finally stands up. It's time to go home.

He drags himself to the bus stop.

On the ride home, Seungmin has his face pressed against the bus window, cheek numbing from the cold glass. The outside world blurs past, gray, uninviting.

He wishes the ride was longer. Maybe that way he would fall asleep, the bus would take him far, far away, and if it goes far enough, he would disappear again.

Walking past the park, the very park where they last saw each other, he pauses.

He can see Hyunjin's building in the distance. For one stupid moment, Seungmin foolishly hopes to catch a glimpse of him before he makes it home. 

He doesn't.

At home, Seungmin changes into his pajamas and crawls into bed, opening his laptop to watch a movie. Because that is what he does. His routine.

He sighs. The movie is playing, but he wishes… 

He wishes he was at that dusty theater, watching movies with Hyunjin instead. He wishes he was fighting over salty snacks and an armrest. He wishes Hyunjin was there to catch his hand during a jumpscare or a sad scene.

Why does he miss him so much? 

It is irrational. They don't need to see each other every day. And as much as Seungmin hates hurting him, Seungmin is right. They cannot be more than friends. 

They can still be friends.

Right? Just friends.

He picks up his phone and opens their chat. He wants to apologize—but he is not at all sure what he should be apologizing for.

So he doesn't. 

He stares at the screen until the backlight turns off. He doesn't say anything until sleep simply claims him. 

Hyunjin doesn't show up the next day either. 

Seungmin stands beside the espresso machine feeling like he's not in his own skin. The air feels like it's being sucked out of the room, even when it's the same roasted beans, the same scented oils, the same humidifier.

He inhales thinly, chest constricting, scrambling to do something. Hesitating, until he pulls out his phone and finally starts typing.

There's a coffee here with your name on it if you want it

A few nerve-wracking moments tick as his heart thuds painfully loud in his ears he nearly feels dizzy. 

Much to his relief, he sees the three dots appearing on the screen. Hyunjin is typing. What will he say?

Finally, the message comes through.

Thanks, but I'm trying to cut back.

Seungmin reads it again. And again. He closes his eyes and lets out a labored breath that shudders in his chest. 

He really feels like crying right now. It's a stupid, childish urge, but it's there, hot and stinging behind his eyes.

Cut back on what?

What is it exactly that Hyunjin is cutting back from? 

Seungmin lowers his phone.

It’s fine, he tells himself, though his hands are shaking. This needs to happen.

Hyunjin will forgive him one day. Hyunjin just needs time. Hyunjin needs to be hurt long enough for him to realize that Seungmin isn't worth the trouble. Long enough for him to forget Seungmin. Maybe they got too carried away from spending too much time together. Maybe they flew too close to the sun.

Seungmin knows better. Hyunjin just needs to realize that on his own. That is the only way.

But why do I miss him so much?

Why does it feel like he is losing something he has never really had?

Another day ends, with Hyunjin never coming by. 

The dull ache in Seungmin's chest is now replaced by a gnawing, sharp pain that threatens to consume him from the inside out, as if rose stems have started growing in there and forgotten they have thorns. Why did things have to take this turn? It isn't fair. Seungmin followed the rules. He did the responsible thing!

He wonders how long it will be before they can talk again. He convinces himself—he reasons and reasons, as he stares at the ceiling—that it will only be until Hyunjin's feelings aren't hurt anymore. 

Hyunjin is suffering in a different way. Seungmin has to respect that and keep his distance. 

They are both suffering, just differently.

Seungmin is sure about that.

By the fourth day, Seungmin can’t stand it any longer. He is breaking. The pain has become too much to bear, and he has to do something, something, before the too loud silence in his apartment starts shattering glass. He needs to get away from his apartment. He needs to start living again. 

But he doesn't want to be alone. He wants… Just the thought makes him want to curl up and hide and never leave.

He picks up his phone, searching for a contact.

hey yongboks, you busy?

He waits patiently for his long-time friend to reply. Felix always knows what to do, and if he doesn't, he knows how to distract Seungmin from his questionable decisions in life, at least.

hey!!! i'm at work wassup

can we hang out tonight?

u good?

yeah, I just need to get out

oki meet u at d spot

The spot is actually a tent bar they used to hang out at a lot back in the day. Seungmin isn't sure if it is even still there. They haven't hung out in years, and yet, somehow, Felix is willing to meet him at a moment's notice. He really doesn't appreciate Felix enough.

Still feeling undeniably upset (and now also guilty), he crawls back into bed, laying in the dark, rotting until it is time to leave. 

He opens his messages again. He hovers over Hyunjin's name, considers sending him a message. Just to know how he is doing. Are you doing well? Are you eating well? 

But he can't really bring himself to do it. 

Perhaps he will be able to say something to him the next day. It will be okay then.

He meets Felix at the spot.

Instantly, he's assaulted, greeted with a crushing bear hug and a smile only Felix can give, objectively bright enough to power the next block. Despite being shorter, Felix still lifts him off the ground, and Seungmin can't help the giggle that escapes his lips.

“Why do you always do this?” Seungmin asks, pliant as a ragdoll as he dangles, feet waiting for the floor.

“Because you hate it.” Felix grunts and sets him back down. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been fine,” Seungmin lies. They sit down at a plastic table. “How about you?”

Felix eyes him. “You wouldn’t have asked me to meet you if you were fine.”

“Can’t I miss my best friend?”

“You can’t call me that if you never come out to see me,” Felix retorts, feigning hurt, hand over his heart.

Seungmin sighs. “It’s not my fault if we’re both busy.”

Felix sighs too. “I guess not.”

They order trotters and soju, the classic combo and actually the only decent snack they can get at the spot. They go here for the alcohol more than the cuisine anyway.

Seungmin knocks back the first glass. No words are exchanged until he knocks back another and waits. He waits for the alcohol to slowly warm him from the inside, to loosen the knot in his chest so he can say what he has to say.

“So speak up,” Felix finally cues in, leaning on his elbows. “What’s on your mind?”

Seungmin takes a breath. 

“My friend has a problem,” he starts.

“Your friend?” Felix raises an eyebrow. “And his problem is your problem now, I guess?”

“I happen to be an empathetic person.”

“That’s true…” Felix drawls. “So? What’s your friend’s problem?”

“My friend has been seeing someone lately.”

“Is it serious?”

Seungmin shakes his head. “Just as friends. But the other guy thought it meant more than it did, and now they’re not speaking.”

“I see. So your friend isn’t interested in him?”

Seungmin tilts his head. He considers the phrasing after another shot. “I… I wouldn’t say that, exactly, but— there’s another problem.”

“Which is?”

“My friend, uh, used to be involved with the other guy's best friend."

Felix pauses, the trotter halfway to his mouth. “How involved? They hooked up or something?”

“More like a loving long-term relationship.” Seungmin stares at his empty glass. And after a beat, he adds, “According to my friend.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s wrong exactly. I mean, how long has it been since they broke up?”

“More than a year? Give or take.”

Felix hums. He pours them both another round. “It sounds like your friend cares a lot about both of them.”

“He said that he doesn’t want either of them to get hurt."

“And this friend of yours probably doesn’t want himself to get hurt again either,” Felix points out.

“That’s possible too.” Seungmin ignores the ache in his heart being amplified by the conversation.

“I think… he should go for it,” Felix says after gulping down his glass.

“You do?” 

Seungmin blinks at him. He had not expected that answer. He expected…a lecture? Like— Whatever happened to bro code or the ethics of it or something? 

“Isn’t it too risky?”

“Everything is risky.” Felix shrugs. “But if they stay away from each other, aren’t they the ones suffering?”

“I guess…” Seungmin stares up at the words on the nearby bar menu until the letters start to dance. 

Then it suspiciously reminds him of the menu of the last eatery he went to with Hyunjin, and Seungmin feels his nose flare. His trembling lips instantly press into a thin line as his eyes start to sting.

“You know, you should tell this to your friend,” Felix says, a smirk lilting his words. “They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

Seungmin looks down and wrings his hands together. “He doesn’t deserve that,” he mutters softly, voice cracking at the last word.

Hyunjin really doesn't. He is not some…rebound. Not just a distraction, either, no. None of those.

What is he to you then, Seungmin?

You’ve always known all along, haven't you?

He feels Felix regarding him for a long moment. Seungmin certainly feels scrutinized. Heavily.

Felix leans in across the table. His ocean-deep voice drops the playful tone, deadly serious this time. “Then why are you sitting here talking to me about it instead of you out there running around with your new boyfriend?”

Seungmin practically slams his head against his arms on the table. “I told you it was my friend!”

“Please,” Felix says, exasperated in the way only best friends can be, especially when they already have your shit figured out before you do. “Just say what you want to say. Do you like him?”

Silence.

The plastic tent flaps in the wind.

Do I like him? Seungmin groans into his forearms, already dizzy. “Yes.”

Too much.

Seungmin buries his head further beneath his arms and into the table as if it could hide his burning face.

Felix is not done torturing him. “Do you want to be with him?”

Seungmin sighs.

He counts to three before finally looking up at his dearest friend. Felix has four eyes now, two noses, two mouths. The floor is starting to unlevel, tilting dangerously.

Seungmin chokes out a near-sob. 

He wants to cry. 

He misses Hyunjin. He misses him so damn much it feels like a physical bruise. He misses him so damn much but he can't be anywhere near.

“Is–” hic “Isn’t that a terrible idea?”

Felix’s smile seems to soften. “Would it make you happy?”

“Maybe.”

“Would it make him happy?”

“Maybe.”

“Are you living your life to make a third person happy?”

Hic. The question hits Seungmin hard. Is he? Is he living for others when they are not even in his life? What the hell. Definitely not. “No,” hic “No, I’m not.”

“Then go get him before he comes to his senses!” Felix scolds, saying it like a threat. Maybe it is. 

Seungmin nods, suddenly filled with drunken resolve. Yes. Get Hyunjin. Now. 

Hyunjin can't come to his senses. He can't… Hic. Seungmin moves to stand up—and immediately stumbles.

“Buuuut maybe tomorrow.” Felix pushes him gently back down. “Because if you confess right now, you might puke on his shoe.”

Seungmin burps loudly. “Good call.”

Seungmin wakes up with a brutal hangover that leaves his mouth feeling like a chalkboard and his brain throbbing and pounding in his skull. He's sure his head is actively trying to sever itself from his body as he comes to. 

But while the physical pain is enough to distract him momentarily from the ache in his chest, it's not enough to weaken his resolve. 

He is going to make things right this time. No matter how much it sucks. No matter how awful he feels.

He grabs his phone, squinting at the offending brightness until he lowers the slider down, and finds the chat that has been dormant for days. 

He sends Hyunjin the first message ever since Hyunjin told him that he didn't want to talk. More specifically, that he is ‘trying to cut back.’ 

On him. On Seungmin.

We need to talk

Since he wakes up earlier than Hyunjin due to his job, he is not expecting a response for another hour. So when Hyunjin's reply comes almost instantly, it feels like his heart is trying to explode in his chest.

No we don’t

Seungmin closes his eyes tightly. Lets out a frustrated sigh that rattles his poor lungs. So stubborn.

it’s important, please?

Minutes pass before Hyunjin replies.

I have to be at the orphanage today

what about tonight

I have to work on my paper

do it here, I’ll be your study buddy

More minutes thud by until another response.

is something wrong?

Seungmin simultaneously squares up and melts. Such a strange feeling. He isn’t sure if he can get through to Hyunjin, but he has to try. After all, Hyunjin has every right to keep his distance while he processes the rejection that Seungmin should have never, ever fucking given.

it’s just really important ok

ask nicely

Seungmin huffs again, throwing his head back into the pillow. It only makes him hate himself when his head throbs more. 

Ugh. He is actually ready to fight Hyunjin now. He is going to kick his ass for this, he knows it. He is going to have to! Hyunjin is being difficult on purpose. He is being petty!

And Seungmin actually deserves it this time.

Can you please come over so we can talk and work on school stuff?

I’ll think about it

Well, that is as close to a confirmation as Seungmin is going to get. He has to live with that. 

He gets dressed, downs his painkillers, and goes to work, operating on autopilot and muscle memory as he prepares to survive the morning rush. 

Not long after they open, when the bell chimes and he looks up, he certainly does not expect to see Hyunjin.

“Four iced and four hot Americanos please.”

“You’re back,” Seungmin says, almost in a daze. His heart races, knocking against his ribs as if it wants to come out and greet Hyunjin too.

Hyunjin… who looks terrible.

He has bags under his eyes, and his hair is a mess. He doesn't look well. He looks like he hasn't slept well in days, actually.

Seungmin's heart lurches.

It's unfair how much he feels like laying it on Hyunjin's feet.

“It’s my turn to bring coffee to the other volunteers,” Hyunjin says in a simple tone, as if it doesn't matter. 

Except Seungmin happens to know that there are a dozen coffee shops closer in their neighborhood and far away from Seungmin’s. 

“Do you— want any bread too?” Seungmin asks, almost breathless with it, eager to offer him something. Anything. “For breakfast?”

Hyunjin shakes his head. “Just the coffee, please.”

Hyunjin waits patiently near the counter, not looking at Seungmin as he works. He just stands there, so close yet a million miles away. 

Seungmin has to pretend again, just like the first day Hyunjin found him in this cafe. Only this time, he pretends it doesn't sting that Hyunjin won't acknowledge him. 

Maybe they won't get to talk after all.

“Here you go,” Seungmin says a little dejectedly, passing him the coffees in two cardboard carriers.

“Thanks.” Hyunjin takes them, and Seungmin knows he’ll just have to watch him leave.

Hyunjin doesn't leave right away. He lingers for a second, and Seungmin perks up almost instantly. 

“I’ll be by later this evening when I’m done,” Hyunjin says, not meeting his eyes. “If that’s okay.”

“That’s fine,” Seungmin replies eagerly. Too eagerly.

“I have a lot I need to say too," Hyunjin adds. By the look on his face, it isn't going to be a pleasant conversation. 

Seungmin wants to stop him before he can leave, to admit that he has made a massive mistake, right here, right now, but he is at work. There are customers in line, and it is not exactly worth risking his job chasing after a customer he will surely see again. 

Even if it is for the last time.

A strange melancholy envelops Seungmin for the rest of the day, seeping its way into his coffee beans. He has to remake several orders throughout the day, and he worries he is one bad, shaky pour away from getting called into a meeting for a good scolding. He loathes those meetings. 

Yet today he barely cares.

At the end of his shift, Seungmin heads home and takes a long, refreshing, scalding shower. He scrubs until his skin is pink and lathers himself completely with his favorite vanilla-scented things. If he is going to hurt, he might as well smell good for it. 

He chooses something comfortable yet presentable to wear, and now he waits. 

To pass the time, he puts on a movie while he tidies up his apartment, moving a stack of novels, straightening the rugs, and for the first time since he moved in, he worries that his apartment is too small. He looks at the walls and almost feels them closing in. What if it suffocates them both? Maybe he should have picked a better meeting place…

His phone finally vibrates in his pocket a few hours later, and his heart skips a beat. Seungmin reads the message from the only person he wants to see.

I’m outside

okay, I'm coming down

He hurries outside, nearly forgetting to put on his shoes in his haste. His heart might race him to a heart attack and he isn’t sure how he is supposed to fix things, but he sure as hell will try. 

He sees Hyunjin standing on the sidewalk. Not lingering around his door but standing a respectful distance away, hands in his pockets, simply looking at the street. 

Seungmin pushes the bad thoughts away. Hyunjin is here. He is here.

“Hyunjin!” Seungmin calls out, running towards him. Hyunjin has his big bag slung over his shoulder as if he intends to stay, and it gives Seungmin a glimmer of hope.

“Hey,” Hyunjin greets back, although his enthusiasm doesn't quite match Seungmin's.

“I’m so glad you came because I wanted to say—” 

“I shouldn’t have acted like I did,” Hyunjin interrupts quickly. He speaks fast, like he has rehearsed the speech and rolled it on his tongue multiple times. “It wasn’t right of me to expect more than friendship when I wasn’t clear enough in the beginning.”

“No, no, that’s not—”

“It’s fine,” Hyunjin says resolutely. “I was just— I was mad at myself, not at you. But there’s no reason we can’t be friends, right?”

Friends? “Right, actually—”

“I brought my homework if that’s okay.”

There is so much Seungmin wants to fucking say.

But he senses, quite so obviously, that Hyunjin doesn't want to hear it now. Not yet. Hyunjin's eyes look guarded, as though a wall has gone up. 

Seungmin still wants to say it. He is going to tell Hyunjin that he has made a terrible mistake. A stupid, dumb decision. But for now, he nods. He leads him upstairs before Hyunjin can change his mind. Hyunjin doesn't say anything more, still looking as exhausted as he did this morning. 

Oh, he really doesn't want to be here…

“H-how were the kids?” Seungmin asks, trying not to think of it too much, to fill the silence in the hallway.

“Huh?” Hyunjin blinks, as though snapped out of his thoughts. “They were great. They didn't believe me when I said I came to their play, so they insisted on singing all of their songs for me.”

“Ahh, I wish I could have seen that. They're all so cute.” It makes Seungmin smile wistfully. “Maybe I can come with you to volunteer sometime?”

Hyunjin quietly regards him. “You don't have to.”

Seungmin bites down his lip. The rejection stings. “I won't if you don't want me to.”

Hyunjin’s frown deepens. “I didn't say that,” he defends weakly.

By now, they have reached his apartment. Seungmin apologizes for its size as they get inside, but Hyunjin says it looks just like his except without all of Minho's stuff. Seungmin smiles. He can’t imagine two people living in such a small space.

Hyunjin stands around awkwardly, shoulders hunched, looking too big for the room and unsure of what to do. Seungmin suggests that he can pretend the bed is a couch because, in reality, it is pretty much one. So Hyunjin sits down with his back against the headboard and takes out his laptop, ready to work.

“Before you start,” Seungmin says, still standing. He needs to say it now. He needs to say what he has to say while he has the ability to move around. This requires pacing. “I have to say something.”

“You don't have to," Hyunjin replies, his face giving away nothing. Again with this sentence.

Seungmin raises one finger in front of Hyunjin’s face and finally warns, “If I don’t talk, I will literally explode.”

Hyunjin just looks at him for a few seconds. He must've seen the end of Seungmin's wits because he gestures in the air. “Fine, then, by all means.”

“Thank you. Okay.” Seungmin takes a breath. A voice much like Felix’s scolding floats in his head. Just do it, you can do it. “Right. So, I’m an idiot,” he begins. “I should have realized what was going on and—”

“Stopped it. I get it,” Hyunjin fills in, voice low and serious, withdrawn. Wary.

“No! I was going to say—I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

“I’m fine, Seungmin.”

Seungmin actually thinks it valid to scream at this point, but he only glares at Hyunjin like a petulant child. “Shut up for a minute. This is important.”

That seems enough. Hyunjin closes his mouth tightly and lowers his laptop screen. Good. Seungmin closes his eyes and takes another calming breath before meeting Hyunjin's. He holds his gaze, fights to not instantly drown in it, no matter how much it makes him want to.

“I think I like you.”

There it is.

“You think?” 

“No. I mean, I know I do. But… the situation is complicated.”

Hyunjin nods a little, his face still tired and devoid of— of something. “It is complicated.” 

Oh. 

Is he… is he not happy? 

This isn't exactly the reaction Seungmin wants.

Is Hyunjin not relieved? Does he not…

He hopes it is just Hyunjin's brain still processing it all and not because Seungmin has utterly lost his chances. Stupid, dumb decisions. Stupid and dumb, Kim Seungmin. Hyunjin sounds like— like they're simply talking about the weather. Even their discussions about the weather before were more enthusiastic than this!

…does he not want me anymore?

Seungmin sits down on the bed. His limbs have lost their strength, chest so heavy he is unable to continue with the topic. What now?

“Well— um. What— what are you working on?” Seungmin asks instead, his voice uncharacteristically high and strained now that he is trying to hold back a sob.

“More sociological models.” Hyunjin simply allows the change of topic.

Seungmin nods and pulls out his own laptop. He doesn't know what else to do now except help him like he promised, so for the next while, they work together without saying anything that is not specifically related to Hyunjin’s homework.

The silence is not empty. At least to Seungmin, it is not.

He doesn’t notice himself sliding closer, bit by bit, inch by inch. It is as if Hyunjin has his own gravity in this room, so strong it simply pulls Seungmin closer, and Seungmin is content to follow it, orbiting and orbiting until he can no longer resist closing the space between them. Soon, their arms are pressed together. 

This close, Seungmin can smell the faint scent of shampoo and aftershave, even the fabric conditioner clinging to Hyunjin's skin. It's intoxicating. He smells so nice—soft and charming in some parts, rugged and foolish in others. He smells like comfort. Like home.

Seungmin does like him. 

He likes Hwang Hyunjin. 

And he totally blew it. 

Seungmin chokes up, looking at the ceiling to shove the tears back while Hyunjin is focused on his own laptop. He lets out a weak sniffle, weary, careful not to make a sound or anything that would be suspicious, but the more he tries to, the more he can barely stop a whimper from gracing his throat and dripping past his lips.

You know what, Seungmin, you'll manage. After another year, maybe.

“Can I ask you a question?” 

Hyunjin says this all of a sudden beside him.

Seungmin hums shakily, deciding to focus better. Right now he is just… typing something. Just a random string of words on the search bar that doesn't make any sense, then he deletes and types random letters this time. He bites his lip. He is trying, okay? What was it he was planning to search just minutes ago again? 

“Yeah?” he repeats when Hyunjin doesn't say anything right away.

“You said you like me?”

“I think I said—” Seungmin turns his head to him... only to realize how impossibly close they already are—“that.” 

Seungmin's voice fades softly. In the scant space between them, his gaze drops to Hyunjin's inviting lips, just for a second, unthinkingly, mindlessly, but it is enough to drain all the thoughts out of him, the butterflies and bees rampaging inside him.

Then— then Hyunjin leans in, reaches a hand out, touches Seungmin's waist, so carefully like he is bracing them both. The heat of his palm seeps through Seungmin's shirt and burns. 

He can't find it in himself to pull away, much less to escape. He has secretly longed for this, he knows, for a while now surely, for Hyunjin to be this close, be even closer, and oh—Hyunjin is finally looking at him again, with eyes so dark and intense and filled to the brim with emotion that Seungmin finds it impossible to look away. 

It has never felt so right, faced with such intensity and feeling it all on his skin. Everything feels like live wire, asking for more, more touch, much closer, yet Seungmin can only hold his breath because suddenly, the air in the room has turned to syrup. Thick, sweet, and he is finding it very, very hard to breathe.

“Why?” Hyunjin rasps.

Seungmin's mouth parts automatically, forming around a repeat of his question. Why?

“Is it because you think you’re going to lose me if you don’t?”

“No,” Seungmin gasps, air suddenly back in his lungs, filled with the need to correct him. That's not— 

But they lean in closer, much closer to each other now like polar opposites of a magnet, and any remaining thought vanishes in Seungmin's head. An odd time considering the circumstances, but Seungmin feels so drawn in inexplicably.

“Aren’t you worried?” Hyunjin asks, his eyes roaming Seungmin's face, taking him in, waiting as though… oh, as though Seungmin would suddenly slip through his fingers again. As though he is just waiting for the shoe to drop. Waiting for the prank, the jazz hands, the pity, the but. But there is no but.

Seungmin won’t make the same mistake, not again, not this time, not in Hyunjin’s arms, not when Hyunjin is finally looking at him like this— like nothing is holding him back anymore, nothing is going to, if Seungmin only says the word. Like he would lay everything on his feet if Seungmin asks him to, if he just gives him even a little chance. 

Mm, nothing should, Seungmin thinks, as he lifts his hand and slowly traces Hyunjin's jaw, hooks it behind Hyunjin's neck, runs his hand through the little strands that meet his nape, and feels the skin there under his fingertips like he’s wanted to do since—forever. 

And with utter certainty, blood pounding loudly in his ears, he says, he pleads, “I don’t care.”

The hand on Seungmin's waist tightens. Hyunjin closes his eyes, lets out a long, shaky exhale, his jaw tightening as if he is fighting a war inside his own head. He looks pained.

But I don't want a friend, Seungmin breathes. I want you.

“God,” Hyunjin surrenders. “I tried.”

It is Hyunjin who closes the gap and kisses him first. 

Seungmin inhales sharply, not prepared for how much the surge of emotion and heat tears through his entire body. It is terrifying. Hyunjin's hand tightens its grip around his waist, chest rumbling, and Seungmin balls his shirt in his fist, overcome with—everything. 

The relief, the want, the need, the sheer overwhelming reality of it all and everything in between.

“Wait,” Seungmin pulls away for a second, already breathless, his parted mouth still touching Hyunjin's teasingly, breathing in each other's pants. “Laptop.” Then he kisses Hyunjin again because he can't help himself, unable to complete another unimportant thought other than having all of Hyunjin's kisses. How they managed to safely set their offending laptops on the ground amidst that, Seungmin is not entirely sure, but when they do, he all but reaches, lunges for Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin is strong, very, luckily, holding them both up even when they risk bumping teeth. He wraps his arms around an overeager Seungmin, accepting his whole weight, running his fingers through the back of Seungmin's hair that feels so, so good as they both tumble onto the mattress.

Hyunjin rolls him onto his back and leans over him, allowing Seungmin to greedily run his hand up the back of Hyunjin's shirt.

“Are you sure about this?” Hyunjin asks suddenly, still uncertain after all. His ears are red and flushed with embarrassment, and Seungmin feels his heart clenching tight in adoration.

“About what?” Seungmin already feels like melting beneath him, finally having him like this. On top of him, covering him from the world. He zeroes in on his deliciously firm mouth promising to drown him so sweetly, wetting his own lips, knowing how it must look just as red and spit-stained and swollen as Hyunjin's, hoping it would drive Hyunjin just as crazy.

Hyunjin follows the movement, obviously just as affected as he is. Oh god, it's heady. 

“Me,” Hyunjin whispers.

Seungmin aches for him, heart, mind, and body. Surely he must know? Surely he must feel it. Seungmin lifts himself up to kiss him again, hoping it would help his case. It's slower than the previous ones, less rushed, but not any less sweet. “Yes, Hyunjin. Never more sure.” 

This is real, he promises.

Feeling such big yet gentle hands stroke the fuller part of his cheeks, Seungmin remembers what Felix had said. He sighs dreamily, smiling softly up at Hyunjin, more sure than ever under his adoring gaze. 

Seungmin was right. He wouldn't use Hyunjin. Hyunjin is too special to him, even if he is sometimes annoying and foolish and has the taste profile of a toddler.

Though, some of Felix’s advice is good to follow.

“You have to finish your paper,” Seungmin reminds softly between another set of kisses, the kind that easily makes his limbs lose strength, elicits little mewls, small whines past his throat whenever Hyunjin allows him to breathe.

“I’ll get it done.” This close, Hyunjin's voice vibrates even into Seungmin's chest, deeper, rougher, definitely uncaring about anything that isn't kissing and touching Seungmin some more. “I’m busy.”

Seungmin smiles against his mouth, feels Hyunjin running his thumb on his collarbone, deliberately, achingly slow. “What do you think you’re doing, huh?”

Hyunjin smiles back indulgingly. “You know what I’m doing.”

He looks so content with himself. Much like a cat that finally got its cream.

Seungmin shakes his head, still smiling because he can't seem to stop. He pushes against Hyunjin's chest, and then he's almost ready to give it all up once he feels how toned and strong it actually is. God. “Nope,” Seungmin still tries, teeth close. “Not until you get your grade back.”

Hyunjin laughs. “What?”

“You heard me.” But then Seungmin kisses him again, because—because, well, it's already established that he can't help himself now that he's allowed to have this. Not really helping his case, but Hyunjin is just right there. “None of that until you pass.”

“Huh.” Hyunjin goes back, nips Seungmin's bottom lip before promptly sucking on it. “What if I fail?”

“You— wait,” Seungmin moans soundlessly when he bites it a bit too strong. “You’ll have to—to wait until next semester then.”

Hyunjin collapses onto him, whining into the crook of his neck, and Seungmin grunts under all that weight pressing down on him. It's heavy, very much so. It's so nice and perfect. He feels so, so safe. 

“No,” Hyunjin starts pressing wet kisses down his neck, gentle enough to tickle.

Seungmin swats at him. “Stop that at once!”

Hyunjin laughs mischievously as he nips at the skin, and Seungmin can't help but laugh along. He wraps his arms and legs around Hyunjin in a full-body hug and squeezes him. 

He likes him so fucking much.

“Does this mean I get to kiss you now?” Hyunjin asks with a sigh, defeated by Seungmin’s bear-like grip.

“Isn't that what you were just doing?”

“I mean whenever I want to.”

“When do you want to?”

“All the time,” he answers deftly, leaving one more kiss on Seungmin's cheek before trying to sit up. Trying, because Seungmin has no intention of letting him up just yet.

“Like when?”

“Like… when you're at work and someone asks you for latte art that you can't make,” Hyunjin teases.

Seungmin gasps, laughing. “No! You can't kiss me at work.”

Hyunjin puts his head on Seungmin's shoulder, finally giving up, settling on him. They lie together comfortably. Hyunjin fits like a glove against him like this, like a weighted blanket to shield Seungmin from everything outside their little bubble. Call him dramatic but Seungmin doesn't want Hyunjin to ever get up again.

“How about when you almost die from ghost pepper poisoning?”

“Hell no, you can't kiss me then either.”

Hyunjin sighs like it really ails him so. Seungmin just smiles widely, giddy to be annoying him again. “Alright, when can I kiss you?”

“When I can't get fired or puke on you.”

“I've known you for quite a long time, and that could literally happen at any moment.”

Seungmin huffs, about to defend his honor, but then Hyunjin kisses him again, so softly and so thoroughly, mouths and tongues embracing again, and Seungmin forgets what he’s even upset about. It doesn't matter. Nothing else does.

“Do that again,” Seungmin whispers.

Hyunjin pecks his lips lightly, barely touching it. The skin still tingles from need. “Like this?”

Seungmin shakes his head.

“Like this?” Hyunjin asks again, applying a little more pressure.

“No,” he replies breathily, just about whining against Hyunjin's mouth. He wants the real thing, needs more. He leaves his mouth slightly parted, looking up beneath his long lashes, hoping Hyunjin will take the hint.

“What if I don't want to?” Hyunjin whispers. He settles on his neck again, the words blowing hot air on his heated skin, and Seungmin naturally trembles from all the honey inside him.

“You—” he flusters, “you don't want to?”

Hyunjin chuckles warmly, and even though Seungmin cannot see it, he knows it is Hyunjin's dumpling smile that never fails to make him melt. “Always want to.” 

Hyunjin raises his head a little and looks down at Seungmin for a moment. He is positively glowing. Seungmin wants to keep the two of them in his room forever. “What are you doing?”

“Just looking.” Hyunjin says. “You’re so… pretty when you’re like this. Beautiful.”

Heat flushes brighter in Seungmin's cheeks. Seungmin doesn't feel like hiding anymore. “Like what?”

Of course, Hyunjin has the most shameless, annoying, shit-eating grin Seungmin has ever seen. This, Seungmin is more familiar with. It makes his heart race no less. “Like mine.”

Seungmin makes a disgusted face and tries to push him away. “Awful! Terrible! I want a refund!”

“No!” Hyunjin grumbles back, burying his face back into Seungmin’s neck, refusing to be discarded like an old shoe. “You don't get a refund.”

“Argh,” Seungmin wipes his mouth in mock-horror. “Who let you in here?” 

He feels more than hears that loud, happy cackle Hyunjin lets out. His heart practically soars into the sky when Hyunjin wraps his arms around his waist, tightens his embrace, kissing his cheek down to his neck.

“What have I done,” Seungmin cries out softly, just one last attempt, like a dying match. Because Hyunjin leaves more kisses that honestly makes Seungmin squirm in a way he likes too much. And as much as he wants to fight him, he loves all if this attention from Hyunjin more. 

All his. All Seungmin's.

“Say it,” Hyunjin murmurs against his skin.

Seungmin shivers, sparks starting again at the base of his spine and zapping to every part of him at a terrifying speed. He still pretends to wiggle away like a brat. “Say what?”

“Say you’re mine.”

Hyunjin moves down to his collarbone, inch by inch, whispering sweet praises on his skin, a low rumble against Seungmin's body as Hyunjin drops more open-mouthed kisses to it.

“What if I don't?” Seungmin says, breathless. Because is it really Kim Seungmin if he is not a little shit?

Hyunjin smiles back into his neck, takes his time nibbling, sucking the skin. Pays it extra attention before lapping over it, soothing it as a small whimper escapes Seungmin. 

“I'll make you," Hyunjin tells him, just as he admires his first mark on Seungmin's skin. His. Like a promise.

“You'll make me?”

Hyunjin hums, sliding his hands underneath Seungmin’s sweater, and running his fingers up, up, up.

Seungmin's eyes flutter, rolling up and shut, and he has to catch his breath. “I won't then.”

“You won't?” Hyunjin echoes, indulging, shifting a little up and finding his sensitive earlobe, licking, nibbling on its end.

“N-no,” Seungmin breathes out, shakily.

He doesn't think he can hold out much longer like this.

Hyunjin pushes him down a little, settles over him, pressing his knee between his legs just enough, just so close, that Seungmin has to stop himself from lifting himself up to finally feel all of him.

“Say it,” Hyunjin repeats, low and rough and hot, and Seungmin's heart pounds in his chest along with it, the sensation rising up to his throat. If they keep this up, his blood really isn't going to know where it is supposed to flow.

He looks up at Hyunjin, eyes wide at the obvious hunger, desire—maybe even more… if he's allowed to hope. Seungmin can't ever recall a time he has felt something like this, received this much feelings from anyone, looked at like he's literally someone's world. He can't believe what he has been sorely missing, that it's all been here, just within reach all this time.

Hyunjin licks his lips, still waiting for a response, and Seungmin feels the motion like he's already pavloved.

Yeah. As much as he tries to push it away, truly tries, there really isn't anyone else he would have rather been here with now. God. He wonders at what moment he had actually fallen for Hyunjin. Flashes go by in his mind, of being dragged to different places gruffly, Hyunjin slurping empty cups of coffee, children dancing in costumes, the fiery hell of a ghost pepper kimchi jjigae…

Before he can hold back, the words pour out of him. As easy and natural and real as breathing, he learns. “I'm yours.”

Hyunjin looks surprised for a moment.

But then the words must have settled in his mind, because he descends on Seungmin as if he has been waiting to do it for years. (Had he?)

Suddenly… suddenly, Felix's words don't apply anymore because that isn't them. This is where Seungmin is supposed to be, wrapped in Hyunjin’s strong and capable arms, drowning in his everything, inside and out, and they are not going to wait until Hyunjin's grade comes back.

It is what it is.

Sorry, best friend. Seungmin sighs sweetly.

“Say it again, baby.” A series of soft, fluttering kisses lands on Seungmin's jaw, his cheek, his entire face, and the command whispers like a prayer.

“No,” Seungmin exhales shakily. “Nn…no,” god forbid he gives in without a fight.

Another rumble of low laughter. “You're so annoying.” Hyunjin licks the skin just below his ear, where his pulse must feel the strongest. Hyunjin runs his teeth there, the spot turning to be so sensitive with the way Seungmin can’t stifle a toe-curling moan. He finally surrenders, the sweetest sound tumbling past his lips, his neck tilting to the side as it asks for more. Hyunjin nips his skin and takes special care of it, too, creating another pretty bloom that Seungmin would admire in the mirror. 

His. All Hyunjin's.

Seungmin can't wait.

Feeling equal parts hot and tender and bothered all over, all for this man in his arms, he eagerly grabs Hyunjin's neck and pulls him down, ever closer, kissing him breathless once more. 

“Do you want to go get the lights, or should I?”

The next morning, Seungmin wakes up entangled in a mess of sheets.

Naked in his own bed. 

That definitely wasn't part of the original plan. 

He had intended to wait, to be noble and prove to the both of them that he isn't using Hyunjin as a rebound, like Felix warned, but Seungmin just… He couldn't resist. 

It is as if all the times he’d wanted to hold Hyunjin's hand or lean on his shoulder at the movies, hug his back or be hugged back while they walked—every secret wish rushed in all at once. The dam broke. Now he wants to touch him as much as he can, be touched just as much if not more, craving every inch of physical contact with Hyunjin now that they finally have each other.

Even if Seungmin has to end up all sore in the aftermath, unable to plop his delicate bum in anything solid for a while. 

He shudders deliciously at the memory.

Beside him, Hyunjin is still fast asleep.

He is on his stomach, half-clutching onto a pillow and completely out of it. His golden skin is smooth except for the scratches, the lovebites on his neck and shoulder and surely on his chest too. Seungmin flusters. He did that.

Seungmin lets his gaze wander over the rest of him. Hyunjin's body is all muscle, much relaxed now that he isn't using it to maneuver and press Seungmin into the mattress. All he is wearing is the silver cross chain hanging around his neck. He slightly pouts when he sleeps, and it is so adorable. Seungmin hates to wake him up, but he doesn't think having Hyunjin waking up naked, alone and confused is the best way to start their relationship.

“Hyunjin,” he whispers, gently stroking his cheek.

Hyunjin stirs after his third try, slowly opening his eyes and blinking, momentarily disoriented. As soon as he registers Seungmin, a huge, dumb smile spreads across his face. He stretches like a content cat. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Seungmin laughs softly. Hyunjin sleepily pats the spot next to him, inviting Seungmin to join him again, and Seungmin desperately wishes he could. “I have to go to work for a few hours.”

Hyunjin lets out a tragic groan. “Nooo.”

“Go back to sleep,” Seungmin says, running his hand through Hyunjin's dark locks affectionately. “I just didn't want you to wake up alone.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin rasps, deeper with sleep, and Seungmin absently wonders to what extent he can get so attracted to one man before it becomes a medical issue. “Let me take you to work.”

“It's okay, it's too early in the morning,” Seungmin insists. “Go back to sleep.”

“If I take you to work…” he mumbles slowly, still barely awake, eyes closing again. “I get to spend more time with you.” 

Seungmin is grinning now. “You already get to spend all your time with me. It's fine.”

“I need more time,” Hyunjin pouts, and after a few seconds, he moves more, practically fighting gravity now. He is definitely not a morning person. When he manages sitting up, his hair sticks out in all directions. “Let's go take a shower, Min.”

“Let's?” Seungmin raises an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Hyunjin replies, nudging his sleepy head against Seungmin's shoulder, planting a soft kiss on his bare skin. “That's more time together.”

“You're too tired to shower with me,” Seungmin teases. “What if you fall asleep in there?”

Hyunjin presses another kiss. “Then wake me up.” 

He sounds amused, but his voice dips lower. The meaning does not go past Seungmin.

Seungmin learns, right then and there— as he underlines a self-note in his list of ‘everything Hyunjin’— that it’s impossible to deny Hyunjin anything. Thus he starts his morning Hyunjin-style (poor Seungmin’s body, honestly), before Hyunjin drives him to work. 

Giving in to Hyunjin's whims is practically Seungmin being constantly pampered. So really, who is he to complain?

Hyunjin comes in for coffee some hours later, staying to work on his homework even on Sundays. Seungmin refills his cup when he is still too busy to notice it is empty, and when a customer is particularly chatty, lingering too long at the counter or smiling too much at the barista, Hyunjin has an uncanny way of showing up at the counter to order more food. 

Seungmin doesn't mind it one bit.

After the end of his shift, Hyunjin takes him home to change into comfortable clothes while Hyunjin drops his belongings off at his own place. Then they meet again to go to their favorite spot.

This time, let's just say they are not too interested in watching the movie.

Several months later

“You said it's not that spicy!” 

“It’s really not!” 

Well, a lot has changed in Seungmin's life, definitely for the better, but there is still that, too.

Hyunjin is still wheezing into the table napkin, and Seungmin is still laughing at him with a numb tongue.

“Changbin warned me about this,” Hyunjin cries, reaching for his milk. “You’ve got no mercy and a steel for a stomach. Should’ve listened.”

Even that situation resolved itself with surprisingly little drama, if none at all. Hyunjin told him about it one random night a few months ago, casually, while they were brushing their teeth together. How he had run into Changbin and they talked. Hyunjin had told him everything, not for permission but because he deserved respect, and Changbin had laughed, slapped Hyunjin on the back saying he was happy for them, and bashfully admitted he’d found someone new, too, a fellow producer who makes him happy. There was no anger nor bad blood, only Changbin understanding and nagging his best friend to death to reach out if he misses him. And just like that, a chapter of Seungmin's life finally closed. 

Seungmin remembers the look in Hyunjin’s eyes, dark and serious and a little too proud as he recounted the story. “I also told him he's never getting you back. You’re with me.”

Seungmin smiles at the memory. Like a territorial dog. He rolls his eyes at the man currently dying over mild peppers in front of him.

“He’s an idiot,” Seungmin says fondly.

Hyunjin pouts dramatically. “I thought I was your idiot?”

Seungmin grins. He reaches across the table to steal a piece of Hyunjin's eggroll. “You are.”

Seungmin is not the type to get caught up in feelings, surely. He likes logic, plans, safety. But as he watches the dumb to his dumber stumble over his words, red-faced and redder ears, still making terrible, terrible date decisions, he dares to admit the truth.

He terribly, insufferably loves Hyunjin.

The one and only, who has managed to embed himself so deeply in Seungmin's heart, to fill in the gaps and mend the patches. Who’s fitted so differently yet perfectly in Seungmin's life, given it color and flavor until he has easily become Seungmin's favorite part of everything. Until it is impossible to imagine himself without Hyunjin, like his candies and his coffee and his spicy kimchi stew.

Seungmin is not one to believe in forever but… Hyunjin makes forever not sound so bad. 

And while he still holds this secret so close to his heart, he hopes Hyunjin feels it, the very same way he makes Seungmin feel so loved. One day… one of these days… when it spills out of him because his heart can't take keeping it in anymore, he’ll find the courage to tell him out loud, and he hopes Hyunjin would say it back.

“The things I do for you, princess,” Hyunjin sighs, saying the words so affectionately, so fondly, that Seungmin melts instantly. “You owe me at least fifty kisses for this.”

I love you.

“Fine.” Seungmin scrunches his nose just because, fighting the smile threatening to burst out of him in sunshines and rainbows, and failing spectacularly. I love you. “But you're buying the ice cream, darling.”