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English
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Published:
2025-12-05
Updated:
2025-12-11
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1,620
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6/?
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Get freaky lol

Summary:

Neptune is annoying Uranus lmao.

Notes:

DON'T LIKE DON'T READ DUDE

I don't think it like incest
I will write and translate other chapters and update teggs
I inspired of fanfic "Get silly" orphan account
English not my first language and my grammar is suck
That Neptune/Uran ship!
This humanized planets!
This is rofl

Chapter 1: My cousin!

Chapter Text

This is the most important thing, thing I should never forget. His rings such small, thin and cute Guillermo. He such a Uranus, I love it! It so gentle, like as if I was taken out of my body. I like him. Like a cousin. Like when sun was younger and we was closer...
He feel loneliness, I'm sorry for he feel loneliness. I should spends more time for him. Then he won't feel loneliness. If he happy then I am happy, right Guillermo?
Sometimes I want hug him, to be closer, to make him feel better.
Uranus is cute, when I see him I feel like when I saw my satellites. They're so small and defenseless, I like when they happy or having fun.
Sometimes, I saw how Uranus drawing, it's so cool! His drawings is so beautiful. I feel warmer and tingly up of my body, when i think about him, probably because of the density of the atmosphere. And he a wonderful writer or poet, he was so careful about apologising for him satellites. That's so cute Guillermo!

Chapter 2: Portrait

Summary:

Uranus anus tiranus and Nipupun, my noopokie.

Notes:

My little cousin brother when see this "URAN KISSED THE MARS"

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Uranus sat intently, bent over something, in him orbite.
— UUUUURAAAAAAAAANUUUUUUSSSS!!!!!
Uranus nearly spill paint in shock. His voice thick with irritation, he said.
— How many times, do I tell you not to come unannounced!?
I forgot about that, this is so embarrassed. That not first time, but I don't want to make feel Uranus angry or sad.
— I'm so sorry Uranus! I forgot about it! Oh, you drawing! What you are drawing?
Uranus, tensely hided the easel with his body. I wonder what he drawing. He usually don't hide his easel.
— Ugh, nothing special, just portrait.
— Portrait? Show! Show me! Why are you hide it?
— N-no, it's not finished! I've been said nothing special! Just don't bother me, Sit somewhere here.
— Why, you don't want to show meeee!!!!
— I... I just don't want to show it yet, it's daft.
Aw, his accent is so funny! Dæft! Hehe! What's it mean?
—Ohhhh! I understand, we all sometimes feel embarrasmend!
I moved back a little so as not to disturb him. I wondered who he was drawing. Perhaps his satellites? Himself? Saturn? My curiosity don't know bounds. Uranus hand move with confidence, his fingers be long, thin, slightly pointed at the edges. They are soooo cuuute! In particularly pronounced bones, a callus on the right index finger, and the smell of hydrogen sulfide and paint. His drawings are also cute, he create them so carefully. Interesting if he write anything else? I would so love to see it. Uranus is so creative! He's the most creative planet! And cutest planet ever!
But, why he don't want to talk to me? Am i doing something wrong? Is it because im forgetful? It's because I always go to him? Am I clingy? I suddenly felt ashamed and somehow hurt. I just want to help hime, don't feel loneliness,like I do. Okay, it's Just thought! Maybe Uranus in bad mood or just tired, anything is possible!

Notes:

Meow▼⁠・⁠ᴥ⁠・⁠▼
whoaf (⁠=⁠^⁠･⁠ｪ⁠･⁠^⁠=⁠)

Why i can't write more???? U⁠ ⁠´⁠꓃⁠ ⁠`⁠ ⁠U

Chapter 3: Guillermo!

Summary:

I write this faster than I think!

Notes:

I love bitter moon

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I think, some days I have to leave him alone. And hang out with Guillermo! I approached the Kuiper belt in my orbit to find Guillermo or someone else to discuss, how we spend our lives. Although at one time when I was younger he seemed interesting and unfamiliar to me. Now it is also great and big, but I still feel weird. How bitterness in the chest.
— I found you Guillermo! What you doing here? Oh! You've been look for me! How sweeeet Guillermo!
What about you want to talk? About me? Aawwww! Toooo sweeeet Guillermo!

Nothing interesting, Triton he's become happier; it seems like he's going out to have fun with his friends and his girlfriend! His other companions are very happy about this. Galatea teased him a little. I remember one memory that I want to forget... But, what about you Guillermo? I said word about me, and you should said about yourself!
What mean... You don't said about yourself? No, i said about me! About my moons! You wanna listen just about me? Heh, Guillermo! Ehh, I.... I don't want talk.. about myself, about it... I pressed Guillermo to my chest, feeling bitterness tearing from within and a cold little one like a
Hippocampus tear. I don't want to remember it....

— It's nothing Guillermo, it's nothing!

Guillermo he didn't laugh, he didn't calm down, he was silent.
— Why are you silent!? I bother you? I irritate you? answer Guillermo! You make me feel hurt! Like! Like.... Uranus?
No, it's not Guillermo, no Uranus are not bad, i just annoying and bothersome. I feel so sorry for Uranus, how I can think like Uranus hate me? Or how i can be annoying to him?
— Sorry Guillermo! Please! I don't want to offend you! I just - A yawn cut my words - just tired! You wanna sleep too? It's great Guillermo! I love you my friend! I hugged Guillermo, turned over slightly comfortably, and fell asleep with him.

Notes:

I think I've been write longer but slower! But it will be interesting! I promise!

Chapter 4: Note 68, about Neptune (Uranus diary)

Summary:

(When I write this, I will listen ost I still love you)

Chapter Text

I don't hate Neptune, but sometimes he's annoying and bothersome. It's not mean I want to hurt him or something like that, I just don't like when he bother me or spoil my paintings. Eh, what can I did? This drawing was bloody daft. Incorrectly placed, shadows where they shouldn't be, blurred colors. Oh, I think Neptune I would laugh at this so much that the sun itself would hear it. And again I would be idiot. I hope Neptune understand me.
What he doing in his orbite? I turned around from Neptune orbite, he was innocently slept, hugging the asteroid he calls "Guillermo". That's make me calm. It's great, he don't have worries, he always happy, sometimes, I envy this.
I feel envy when remember Saturn rings, Neptune happiness, attention from the sun at Mercury. Why nobody thinks im cool, nobody cares about me, nobody does respect me. Yeah, Nep said my moons respect me, but he can't understand. Eh, I understand why nobody likes me I'm cruel, sadistic, nasty Uranus.

Chapter 5: Note 69, Sleepy (Uranus diary)

Summary:

Neptune dolbaeb. That's joke.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Saturn... Pft, I feel noises just from name. But, he wanna be friend with me? He's lying? Eh, I can't get rid of envy. Why anyone don't want to notice my rings, I have too them. I think better to go around Nep, no one will go to his orbit and it will still be possible, to make a sketch of him sleeping. I went to it, it was not far from the Kuiper belt, but so that the gravity of Neptune in orbit could close the space between the solar system and the Kuiper belt. Huh, he really loves that asteroid.
Why when someone sleep they are look innocent? Guillermo was gently pulled to the chest in a snow-white jacket. I noticed that the lower half of him chest looks fuller, than my or other planet chest. That unusual. Moved his hand through his hair, sorting through them and drawing the lines of the body. His face was all smeared with drool, apparently he really was sleeping soundly. I looked at the asteroid again: where does Neptune get its blue paint? I pulled it out of Neptune's hands a little to take a look.

— Uranus... What are you doing here?

— EH, I? N NOTHING! N NOTHING!

The silence was oppressive.

— You came to talk to Guillermo?
Neptune said this with sweetest smile and eyes filled with joy, It's this made me blush and my cheeks became hotter than they would have been if I had been next to the sun. I couldn't say no.

— Y Yeah, I wanted to talk with Guillermo!

— If anything, the three of us can talk if you don't mind.
Maybe this is a chance to speak to someone other than the diary?

— S sure! I want to talk with you too!

Neptune's face shine from joy.

— Yuuuuupppyyyy! Ready to start a conversation?

I began to speak with a deep sigh.

— I can't stop feeling jealous. Why does Saturn get noticed more than me? This is the first time I've been called a comet mate! I'm not good enough?
Neptune's face didn't lose that smile. Is he really listening to me?

— Ohhhhh, don't worry Uranus! It's normal to feel this, and your rings also have their own distinctive feature! They're thin, little like my satellite S/2021 N 1! By the way I will never see him.

— Oh, you will can encourage me better. But, thanks.

I said it with sarcastic tone, while he was trying to measure it. This is probably the most best encourage from him.

Notes:

Saturn who was watching them: Вот это прикол!

Chapter 6: Note 69, cousin (Uranus diary)

Summary:

Why so short?

Chapter Text

Neptune's face became somehow painfully sad, It irritates me a little.

I returned to the sketch, now I have to draw from memory, well at least he is nearby and it will be easy to draw facial features.

He came a little closer to me, putting his hand on my thigh and his head on my chest to see the work.

— You drawing me! Aw, cousin that's so cute! I love you!

Nep tightly hugg me, It was awkward, I felt his cool breath on me.

He really loves when I draw, but him I drew first time.

— Okay, okay stop.

he stopped hugging me while still being under my shoulder. This was attractively cute.

— Give me paper and pencil pls, I want to draw too!

— And, what you will draw?

— This surprise cousin!

— Yeah? Uh, okay!

I tore out one of the empty sheets in the album, with speer pencil which I took, give him they're.

—Thanky, cousin!

He's enjoyed to move pencil. I think it's was easy childish drawing. I returned to the sketch, thanks stars I'd managed to draw the construction.

— See, Guillermo! It's Uranus! They look alike, don't they?"