Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If someone had told Telemachus after the suitors first started to arrive that not only would they turn out to be fairly decent men, but he’d end up falling in love with one of them, he would have called them insane. And yet, that is exactly what ended up happening.

Within just two years of the suitors being around, most of them gave up with the realization that Penelope would never pick any of them. Those who stuck around didn’t do so out of stubbornness but rather to give some protection since the war had taken so many great men that would have been around to keep the royals safe. They still claimed they were suitors, but they scared off any new men who came around trying to have a shot with the queen with malicious or selfish intentions. They took their fair share of food and drink, were only as rowdy as would be expected of a group of twenty or so men, mostly didn’t harass the staff, and otherwise stayed in their lane. 

Telemachus had gotten fairly used to the men being around and, even if he wasn’t a fan, he was able to put up with the situation. The men mostly left him alone, though a few taught him how to fight well enough and gave him some socialization experience. Not to mention it was certainly better than the two years of living with over a hundred men talking about his mother in such disgusting ways while he was still innocent enough to not even understand what it all meant. So while he didn’t hold any of those who stuck around in the highest regard on principle, he still got along with all of them.

Or rather most of them.

Antinous had stuck around and still claimed that he thought he had a shot with the queen. The other men mostly just let him stick around because they knew he was only there because his father made him go and he was overall harmless, keeping his thoughts between himself, the other men, and –of course– Telemachus. So, very reasonably, Telemachus didn’t like him. And yet, he didn’t go out of his way to avoid him either. The man was loud, annoying, stubborn, couldn’t read the room for the life of him, always said what was on his mind, didn’t hold things back for Telemachus’ sake, was actually kinda funny sometimes, radiated warmth like a bonfire, never intentionally made Telemachus feel genuinely scared for himself or his mother, could manage to be handsome when he was trying…

But none of that meant anything. Telemachus knew that so long as that man, or any of the other men, were in his house, he couldn’t let his guard down. So he never did. And it wasn’t surprising that one day Antinous went too far talking about his mother and the two got into a fight. Nor was it surprising that that fight became a massive argument.

What was surprising was Antinous kissing him.

What was surprising was Antinous attempting to leave the next day.

What was surprising was Telemachus insisting that he stay one more night for the two to have dinner together in private. 

A dinner that led to Telemachus kissing him. A kiss that led to the two grinding against each other like animals before avoiding each other for a week. A week that ended with them having an actual open and honest conversation. A conversation that led to a mutual confession of love. A confession that led to Telemachus having his virginity taken by someone who was originally supposed to be pursuing his mother.

And the most surprising thing of all was that after they were done and the energy and excitement of lust had gone away, they still wanted each other. They still wanted to be with each other.

As such, after a period of Telemachus thinking that his mother was going to kill Antinous the moment she found out and Antinous thinking the same thing, Telemachus finally got the nerve to tell his mother what had happened –sparing her the graphic details, of course– and explaining his newfound affections. Penelope was very concerned about it but, after Telemachus had Antinous make a formal desire of pursuit, she allowed it. Over time, she came to not understand but at least accept the man and that her son truly did care for him.

Later, Odysseus miraculously returned from his travels expecting a fight but instead found himself being deeply confused. Penelope informed him of everything that happened, the suitors peacefully left after giving extravagant gifts to their gracious hosts as a way to make up for any money from the treasury lost to treat them properly, and Telemachus got to have a tearful reunion with his long lost father. Antinous was sent back to his home temporarily as everything having to do with Odysseus’ return was sorted out, giving the king time to get to know his son and hear plenty about the man his boy fell in love with. It took some time, but with help from Penelope he too was able to be as supportive as he was capable of being. So once Ithaca was back to running properly with its royal family, Telemachus sent word to Antinous.

Who as soon as he returned proposed to Telemachus.

Directly in front of his parents.

Without any prior notice.

After Odysseus recovered from a light medical episode and Penelope had used practically every word she knew to yell at Antinous, the four were able to have a formal conversation. Since Telemachus was their only son, the relationship between him and Antinous would complicate things. Antinous was allowed to stay, but the relationship had to remain private and informal and Telemachus had to at least humor the idea of marrying a woman.

At least that was the plan until Penelope became pregnant and gave birth to a healthy pair of twins –one boy and one girl– and not long after that on a visit to King Nestor, Telemachus found that one of his daughters Polycaste had been having a secret relationship with Nausicaa of Phaeacia and for the sake of protection Telemachus was able to marry Polycaste, secure Nausicaa a position as his new wife’s “close confidant and aide”, not worry about needing to have any children since he was no longer an only child, and was able to live comfortably on an island near Ithaca within his parent’s kingdom with Antinous, who was able to get a respectable job as a blacksmith’s assistant while Telemachus could focus on community service and assisting in education of the local children, both because he found it fun and also to build a positive reputation. It didn’t take long for things to be going well enough that he and Antinous didn’t need to hide their affections in public nearly as much, at least on the island that they lived on. Telemachus still had duties as eldest prince and he and Polycaste still had to maintain the appearance of being a couple whenever royal matters came up, but they were able to get into a comfortable pattern and live the lives they wanted to live.

Even Athena turned out to not be an issue at any point in their relationship. After their private dinner together she did have some choice words for him over getting tipsy with someone he didn’t have confirmation on the intentions of, but she soon turned to ambivalence and accepted the fact that the one thing she would never understand was mortal love. She knew that Telemachus was smart and trusted his judgement so long as she had no proof that Antinous would attempt to hurt or use Telemachus. She had even been the one to help Telemachus learn about Polycaste and Nausicaa’s situation, claiming that it wasn’t because she cared about Telemachus’ ability to be with the man he loved but simply because she knew he’d be less effective of a warrior of the mind given that she had seen what could come from someone being prevented from being with the one they love due to circumstances out of their control. Of course Telemachus knew she was just saying that to still maintain the look of being the Athena everyone knew her to be, but given that he knew for a fact she had at one point disguised herself as a mortal, given Antinous some kind of test of character, and rewarded him by giving the forge he worked at tools made by Hephestus himself, she at least cared a little.

Everything was able to get settled. Everyone was able to be comfortable. Everyone was able to be happy. It was all going so well.

So it was only natural that it wasn’t long after that point that something Antinous and Telemachus had no hope of being prepared for; a development neither of them had any reason to know was possible.

~~~~~

Telemachus woke up one morning laying alone in bed. He was confused for multiple reasons, but most noteworthy were the fact that not only was he alone but his memories of the evening before were incredibly fuzzy. He remembered cuddling with Antinous as the man was telling him about work that day, feeling incredibly relaxed, and then…something happened. He knew he didn’t fall asleep right away and that he had done something, but he couldn’t place what it was. He could hear movement outside the bedroom so he went ahead and went out into the main room of the modest house where he saw Antinous making breakfast. The man was significantly more dressed than he was most mornings but Telemachus didn’t worry about that and walked over, hugging his lover from behind.

“Morning ‘Tinous.” Telemachus said chipperly, moving onto the balls of his feet to kiss the back of Antinous’ neck, “It was weird to not see you in bed this morning. But if it was for the sake of having an early breakfast, I’ll take that loss. I do like seeing your sleepy face though.”

Antinous stayed silent. He didn’t move. Frankly it hardly even seemed like he was breathing.

“Antinous?”

Concern started growing inside Telemachus and he released Antinous from the embrace. He tried to move in front of him to look at him, but Antinous moved, looking away and moving over to one of the counters, staring down at the surface and giving no room for Telemachus to be able to get in his line of sight.

“Antinous, please, what’s going on with you?”

“Are you…you again?” Antinous slowly asked, voice almost trembling.

“Of course I’m me. Who else would I be?”

“It’s just- I mean, after last night…”

“Antinous, look at me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t.”

“Please just look at me.” Telemachus begged, only getting more nervous, “You’re worrying me. And if you won’t look at me, at least tell me what happened last night. Did something happen while I was asleep? Is that why you weren’t in bed this morning?”

“You…don’t remember what happened?”

“Should I?”

Antinous paused for a moment before taking a deep breath, seeming to relax but still not looking at Telemachus.

“The reason why I’m not looking at you is because if I do then- then I know I’ll only be able to see that look in your eyes. That…soft, sweet, innocent look.”

Telemachus walked up behind Antinous, resting his forehead on Antinous’ back.

“You seem really affected by this. But I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

After some hesitation, Antinous slowly turned around, lifting up Telemachus’ head by the chin to make him look him in the eyes. Telemachus was heartbroken to see just how guiltily Antinous was looking at him. His love was clearly feeling so much pain over something related to him and he didn’t even know why.

“Last night,” Antinous softly began, “there was a point where you…weren’t yourself. Or rather you were, but not yourself as you should be. In body you were you as you are now, but it was like your mind was, I don’t know, younger. The way you were talking and acting and seemingly thinking wasn’t like that of the Telemachus who is my lover and partner. It was closer to the Telemachus who was a young, fatherless prince. You were acting even younger than you were when I first met you, yet it seemed like you didn’t even notice anything was wrong or different. You were the same in body –it’s not like the gods physically turned you younger or something– but completely foreign to me in mind.”

As Telemachus thought about Antinous’ words, some things did sound familiar. It was like his memories of the night before were one big fog and Antinous talking about it gave him a torch. The fog was still there, but he wasn’t going through it blindly. He vaguely remembered that when he was relaxing, there was an almost floaty at some point during Antinous talking to him the night before. He also started to remember not having much of a filter or really worrying about anything. He had wanted to stay close to Antinous because Antinous was nice to him and warm and made him feel safe. He had felt weird, but not a bad kind of weird. It was just…different. But he had liked it! He didn’t remember how Antinous had felt about it though.

“I…don’t fully remember what happened last night. You talking about it is helping me remember some things.” Telemachus explained, “I know that I felt really comfortable and relaxed and…safe? I’m not sure how to describe it, but while I was listening to you talk it was like I wasn’t thinking as much anymore because I knew that I didn’t have to since you’d be there for me. I guess that’s why I was acting differently, I haven’t felt that safe very often in my life, especially since I was young. I spent most of my life having my dad missing, my mom stressed and busy, and years with the suitors who didn’t exactly make me feel the safest even after the worst ones left. I had to grow up really fast just so I could feel safe and secure. And so when I felt so comfortable and secure last night, maybe a part of me was thinking that because I was feeling that way it assumed that I had to be the age I was when I felt that way consistently.”

“You’re a pretty clever ki- you’re pretty clever. I definitely wouldn’t have put that together.” Antinous said with an impressed scoff.

“I’m just theorizing, puppy. I don’t actually know if that’s why.”

“That’s still more than I could have done, little wolf.”

Antinous let go of Telemachus’ chin and ruffled his hair, but after he did he stared at his hand for a moment then exhaled and moved away from Telemachus, going over to the food he had been preparing. Antinous gave Telemachus a plate with tēganítēs and some dates. They both flashed each other a quick smile and went over to their table. They ate in silence and Telemachus was able to be fairly calm, but he could feel Antinous continuing to either give him drawn out glances or avoid looking at him entirely. Yet Telemachus didn’t worry too much.

He knew the two of them would be fine.

~~~~~

Over the course of several months, Telemachus and Antinous experimented more with the strange mental shift. They didn’t know if what had happened was repeatable but they tried to replicate what happened and saw that it did, so given that it was a positive experience for Telemachus, they decided to try figuring it out more. And over time, Antinous also started to have a better and better time with it as he understood it more. On times where Telemachus had a particularly rough day, he was able to know that once he got home he could slip into a simpler state of mind. And if Antinous was ever struggling with feelings of inferiority, having his beloved show him just how vulnerable he was able to be around him was bound to assure him just how much he was needed. They weren’t perfect, of course, but with time and discussion, they were able to get very skilled and comfortable with each other. It was nice.

So Telemachus was incredibly confused when he woke up to an empty bed for the first time since he and Antinous discovered the mental shift.

Telemachus left the bedroom to find Antinous looking very stressed and guilty in their sitting room. He walked over, sitting next to him but making sure to give space between them. Antinous didn’t look at him, but he knew that he knew he was there.

“Antinous, are you okay to talk?”

“Yeah. I am.” Antinous softly said, “So um, how much do you remember about last night?”

“Not much yet, but I’ll probably remember more in a couple hours. You know, as usual.”

“So…you don’t remember what I did?”

“Considering how concerned I’m feeling about what you might be asking about, I would say no.” Telemachus said, narrowing his eyes slightly, “What did you do?”

Antinous let out a heavy exhale and leaned back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling.

“You’re going to think that I’m disgusting.”

“I doubt that.”

Antinous looked over at Telemachus, doubt joining the guilt in his expression.

“I kissed you.”

“Antinous, you’re basically my husband, you can kiss me.” Telemachus chuckled, “You don’t need to beat yourself up over-”

“No, I kissed you. You were in that younger headspace and you trusted me and you were just so close to my face and I was looking at that precious, innocent look in your eyes and I knew just how delicate and vulnerable you were and…I kissed you. On the mouth. It was just a peck at first but then you got so flustered like you were the first time we had sex and I couldn’t control myself so I kissed you again, but for longer. I asked you if you were okay and you told me you were confused, that you felt good and were feeling warm inside but didn’t know why or how to explain it. So I asked you if I could kiss you again to see if maybe I could help you understand and I barely waited for you to nod before going for it. Suddenly you were lying beneath me and I so desperately wanted to- it doesn’t matter. I was thankfully able to realize that you looked nervous which gave me the slap in the face I needed. So I stopped and just went back to what we were doing before, doing my best to brush off your questions for both of our sakes. And when you went to sleep, I left. I mean, we’ve already had talks about how you being unconscious doesn’t stop some of my more…lustful thoughts, and so I didn’t want to risk anything. I know you trust me and you’ve told me that you know I’d never do anything you didn’t want me to, but I think this is clear evidence that that isn’t true. I knew you weren’t thinking how you normally do, and yet not only did I not make sure you were fine with what I wanted before acting, when I did I took the bare minimum to go so much further than I should have. So, I’m sorry, Telemachus. I broke your trust and could have hurt you without you even realizing it. I am so incredibly sorry.”

Telemachus stared at Antinous, having no idea what to say. Antinous words did make him remember some hazy feeling of warmth mixed with confusion, and he’d have to be completely passive to claim that what Antinous had done was okay…but he wasn’t mad. He wasn’t even upset. Antinous had screwed up, yes, but he was being fairly respectful and was taking accountability for his actions, something that the man possibly wouldn’t have done years ago. So even if he wasn’t thrilled with what Antinous did, he wasn’t going to make his love feel any worse than he clearly already did.

Not to mention the thoughts that started to form in the back of Telemachus’ head based on what Antinous has described…

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up.” Telemachus said gently, moving closer, “You sure seem to feel bad for what you did and you’re not trying to hide it from me, so you don’t need to look down on yourself so much. Maybe you did cross a line, but the fact that you’re being so honest with me and apologizing shows that you could have removed a few of those “sorry”s and still be in decent enough shape. It’s not like you went against something we’ve established; we haven’t discussed doing anything like that before.”

“But we should have.” Antinous said firmly, “Even if this is of course the first time something like this has happened…it’s not like it’s an uncommon thought for me.”

“What do you mean? You’ve thought about kissing me while I’m like that before?”

“A whole lot more than that.” Antinous said with a dark chuckle, “I’ve never admitted it to you before because I always felt so depraved but, you know, it feels pretty relevant. There have been a few times where, while you were in that headspace, I excused myself for a few minutes claiming that I had to do something or get something when in reality I was just going to another room to handle my feelings, so to speak. My mind would start to go places and I didn’t want to be  turned on while I was taking care of you so I’d take care of myself then get back to you once I was sure that I wouldn’t instinctively do anything. Because even if your mind is different and your eyes look so innocent, you still have the body of the love of my life. So I leave you a few minutes to make sure that I can be as good of a caretaker as you need me to be.”

“Wow, just a few minutes?” Telemachus said, teasingly punching Antinous’ arm, “I’m impressed that you can so easily switch between how you think about me for that.”

As Telemachus looked at Antinous, the look in his eyes made everything suddenly click.

“Unless…you don’t switch between how you think about me for that.” Telemachus slowly said.

Antinous let out a heavy exhale and leaned over, resting his head in Telemachus’ lap, looking up at him as Telemachus smiled down as encouragingly as possible, gently playing with his hair. He gave Antinous all the time he needed to figure out what to say. Antinous didn’t often put a lot of thought behind his words –something that Telemachus found very endearing and refreshing– which meant that when he did put thought into what he was saying, it was important to be patient and listen to whatever it was. And considering how serious Antinous was, it was especially important.

“As you know, you were young when we suitors first showed up. Both in age and in mind with how sheltered you were. And I will admit that before the more aggressive ones left, I was quite similar to them. Like them I also had some…darker thoughts about you. You know, ways that I could use you to get the throne. And even if I never did anything about them and got my act together eventually, I still feel guilty in hindsight, like I somehow manipulated and groomed you into being in love with me. I mean, I am noticeably older than you.”

Telemachus knew that Antinous sometimes felt self-conscious about their relationship –after the first time they had sex, he asked him in every way that was possible if he was sure he wanted to be with him– but he didn’t know just how much it was on his mind, especially after how long they had been together. Though he shouldn’t have been too surprised that Antinous hadn’t told him; his love wasn’t exactly the most emotionally vulnerable person unless he had to be.

“Even after how long it has been since then, I still sometimes think about that time. And especially ever since the relatively recent development…those thoughts have come back in full swing. I feel so disgusting for thinking about it because I know I shouldn’t, but they keep coming back in my head again and again whether I want them to or not. So when I kissed you last night, it wasn’t just because you’re my lover, but also because with you in that headspace it feeds into something that I thought about for a very long time.”

“I mean, you don’t need to feel too bad for it, right? Even if neither of us have participated in anything like pederasty, at least as far as I’m aware, it still is an established thing, even in Ithaca.”

“But it’s not the same. When you’re like that I don’t want you like an erastês wants their erômenos. I don’t want to teach you or mentor you. I don’t want to treat you like a beloved that I’m teaching to be a man. I want to have power over you, I want to own you and be all that you have, I want to be the one that you listen to without question because you trust me simply because you see me as someone that can be trusted, and I want you to stay just a boy, staying small and innocent and ignorant of what’s okay outside of what I tell you. That’s why I feel so awful about those thoughts. There is almost nothing loving about what I want, it’s more about obsession and power than anything else. But…I don’t want to take something that has helped you deal with your problems so well and make it about my own depraved thoughts.”

Telemachus thought about what Antinous was saying. He could admit that a part of him felt weird about what his lover admitted, but he could only imagine just how much it had taken to admit that, how long Antinous had been thinking about it, how long he had been wanting to say it but couldn’t get himself to until it felt like he had no choice. Yes it was certainly surprising to hear his basically husband tell him that he wanted to fuck him while he had the mind of a child, but with the explanation for how they started it at least made some kind of logical sense.

And the more he thought about it, the more he could feel his own curiosity growing. Curiosity…and something else.

“I remember what it was like when the suitors first showed up.” Telemachus began, getting Antinous to look at him curiously, “I was young, innocent, and had barely even interacted with anyone outside of the palace. I had my mother, the maids and servants, some tutors, and occasional visits from family, but then everything changed. For that time while everyone still thought that my mother would pick someone, my head was constantly being filled with hatred towards me and my mom, as well as endless comments about her. And even after they left, well, you were still around and didn’t exactly hide any of your thoughts from me. In hindsight it’s one of the things that drew me to you, even if that meant that I let myself be exposed to even more lustful comments than I needed to for those years before you got your head out of your ass and realized you had just been in denial about your feelings towards me.”

“Hey, I had reason to be in denial.” Antinous said with a slight chuckle, his mood lifting slightly as he sat up properly.

“Keep telling yourself that.” Telemachus shot back, “Anyways, I can admit that spending two years having my head constantly filled with such openly depraved comments and then choosing to spend time around the one person who continued to make them impacted me as I grew up. My ideas of what was normal was warped, something that I can imagine you noticed when we finally got together.”

“Ah yes, that long discussion we had about how you didn’t have to go further than you were comfortable with and I was fine with taking things slow as far as sex was concerned regardless of what I had made it seem like I desired through mocking comments.”

“Exactly. And like you know, I didn’t just hear comments about my mother. I saw several suitors…make their own fun with the maids and servants. And it didn’t even take a year before I started hearing comments about how I looked enough like my mother and would be as submissive as a woman would. Of course, they didn’t use that exact language, but you were around them enough to know what I mean.”

“Like I said, I had those same thoughts. I just never said them out loud. And yet here I am, expressing those same desires years later.”

“One, because you never said them out loud back then you deserve some credit. And two, they aren’t the same. At least not now. Because I’m not a kid anymore. Even if you have sexual thoughts about me while my mind is in a younger state, I’m not actually that age. My brain just acts like I am.”

“But isn’t that the same thing?” Antinous questioned, frustration slipping into his tone, “The reasoning behind the desire is identical and they started when you were young.”

“No, ‘Tinous, it’s not.” Telemachus argued, “Back then, they and you wanted to make me feel awful and get what was perceived as revenge against my mother or use me to get the throne. But now you just want to feel powerful without any desire to actually harm me. Because you would never want to harm me, right?”

“Unless it’s in ways that you’ve told me are okay.”

“Exactly. And knowing how I am when my mind is younger, seeking that feeling of safety and security and comfort I missed out on, you would never hurt me while I was like that, would you?”

“Of course not! Which is exactly why I feel so awful, the fact that I want to fuck you while you’re so vulnerable.”

“You wouldn’t inherently be hurting me just by having sex with me.” Telemachus pointed out, “Obviously I wouldn’t want you to be as rough as you sometimes are and there would have to be a lot more communication than normal to make sure I feel safe but, you know, there could be ways for it to happen that wouldn’t be inherently harmful. Gods, it might actually be fun, even for me. I remember how I felt the first time we had sex and while it was intimidating, afterwards the only thing on my mind was feeling affirmed that you really did love me. So if we were careful, I’d imagine that I’d get that same feeling to be so intimately close to you while I’m in a state where I long to be close to you, more than I normally do, that is.”

Antinous looked at Telemachus, looking almost confused by what he was saying. Telemachus was slightly saddened by the fact that his love seemed surprised by how open and accepting he was of him. It was almost funny how in the past Telemachus had admitted to wanting them to act out a rape fantasy that was about as violent as they could do without causing any lasting damage –something else that was also rooted in the early years of the suitors being around– and Antinous had met him with kindness and openness, and yet when Antinous shared his own darker fantasy he had seemingly expected Telemachus to not show that same courtesy.

“My little wolf, you don’t need to say that.” Antinous said, a sad seriousness in his expression, “I don’t need you to spare my feelings.”

“If you seriously think that I would ever entertain a serious idea simply to spare your feelings, then I’m offended you’d think so little of me.”

“Telemachus, what I want is wrong. You shouldn’t be talking as if I’m speaking of a fantasy we should actually play out!”

“But it could be!” Telemachus shot back, “Antinous, please, believe me when I tell you that I am not upset with you or judging you and especially not lying to you. You opened up to me and I am taking you seriously. Even if you may think that some fantasy of yours is wrong, that hasn’t stopped us before. Sure my awareness would be different, but it’s still more awareness than I’ve had other times we’ve had sex. And just like those times, we can talk to each other to make sure we know exactly what to expect and what we think we need to do so we can be safe and have a good time. You don’t want to hurt me and so I’m trying to do whatever I can to make sure that you don’t. The only thing that hurts is you stubbornly insisting that you’re inherently dangerous even when I’m trying to help you!”

“I just…don’t want to be the man you thought I was when we met.” Antinous softly said, looking down at the ground.

“Oh puppy,” Telemachus lovingly sighed, holding the side of Antinous’ face and making him look back at him, “You’ve never been that man.”

Antinous finally managed to smile at him, leaning into Telemachus’ touch. He took Telemachus’ other hand and led him over to be sitting on his lap. Telemachus thought that he was going to kiss him but instead Antinous wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, burying his head in Telemachus’ neck.

“I love you so much, Telem.” Antinous said, his voice muffled.

“I love you too, ‘Tinous.”

Telemachus let one hand slip into Antinous’ hair as the other held his back, holding his lover close. He expected to start feeling lips on his neck but instead felt a faint wetness and realized that Antinous was silently crying into him. He didn’t comment on it, instead just kissing the top of his head and gently rubbing his back, letting them both sit in comforting silence as he was held as close as physically possible. Antinous didn’t often get vulnerable with him and Telemachus had learned early on that he had been raised to see vulnerability as “womanly” and as such bad and wrong. As such whenever he actually got emotionally vulnerable, he never commented on it unless Antinous brought it up first, doing whatever was needed for his lover to feel as supported in his emotions as possible.

Eventually Antinous’ grip loosened and the man sighed, resting his head against Telemachus’ chest.

“I think…that maybe it’s something we can talk more about.” Antinous slowly said, “And of course if it turns out well, it won’t take priority over you having a safe headspace. But if you think there is a way that we could handle my guilt and unwanted thoughts by acting on those thoughts in a safe and controlled environment…I would be more than happy to have whatever discussion is required with you to make that possible.”

“Thank you.”

“But only if you actually want it too.” Antinous said, looking up at Telemachus, “You’ve had so much taken from you. I don’t want you to lose the thing that allowed you to make up for that.”

“I do. At least based on what we’ve said so far, I do. And like you said, we can and should talk more before we do anything. If I change my mind, I’ll let you know.” Telemachus assured.

“And I’ll do the same.”

“You better not act like you’ve lost interest just for my sake, though. It’s okay if you decide that you don’t want to, but it better not be because you’re making assumptions about what I want.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t.” Antinous chuckled.

“Good.”

Telemachus gently kissed Antinous, but just as he started to move back Antinous pulled him back, making Telemachus laugh into the kiss which just allowed Antinous to deepen it. When Antinous freed him, the two just spent a few moments staring at each other and smiling.

“You, my little wolf, deserve everything I could ever give you.”

“What, just for that?”

“Absolutely. Agreeing to any idea I have more than earns it.”

“Come on, my puppy, we both know you’d give me everything regardless.”

“Oh really? Why?”

“Because you love me.”

“I have no idea why you’d ever think that.” Antinous said flatly.

Telemachus just scoffed and somewhat gently punched Antinous’ shoulder, laughing.

“You jerk.”

“Wow, you wound me.” Antinous said with a smirk, kissing Telemachus’ cheek, “But maybe you are right.”

“Please, you know I’m right.”

“I guess you are.”

“Are what?”

“You’re right.”

“About what exactly?” Telemachus asked, mirroring Antinous’ smirk.

“That I love you, Telemachus.” Antinous said, over dramatically swooning, “But I swear, you’re lucky that I do because few could handle your annoying ass.”

“You do handle my ass quite well.” Telemachus teased.

“It would be rude not to, great prince of Ithaca.”

“But now that I think about it…I don’t know if I can actually be so confident in any judgement.”

“How about I refresh your memory?” Antinous offered, rubbing Telemachus’ waist.

“Now I would never say no to that.”

Telemachus yelped as Antinous suddenly lifted him up only to lay him down on the fur rug on the ground, laughing as Antinous started to litter his neck and shoulders with kisses.

“Antinous! You are not going to fuck me here like some animal.”

“Hmmm, but I could. And it wouldn’t be the first time.” Antinous pointed out, nipping at Telemachus’ skin, pausing before sighing and gently kissing Telemachus’ sternum, resting his head on him again, “Thank you. For everything. For agreeing to explore…that, but also for everything else you’ve done for me. I quite literally couldn’t have the life I do now without you.”

“And I would never want a life other than the one I have with you.”

“But if you dare tell that dumb prince friend of yours that you got me to cry again-”

“I don’t tell Peisistratus about when I see you cry.” Telemachus laughed.

“And you better not. You’re lucky you’ve seen me cry as many times as you have.”

“Oh yes, because five times is so many.”

“You have not seen me cry five times.” Antinous argued, pushing himself up to look down at Telemachus.

“Yes I have.”

“When?”

“Today, when we moved in here, when I told you about the arrangement that would allow us to be together, when you were begging me to try and come up with a way for us to stay together, and after the first time we had sex.” Telemachus listed.

“I would argue that two of those times count as the same time. I begged you to figure out how we could stay together and then right after you told me about the arrangement.”

“Yes, but you switched from sad tears to happy tears. So I count them as being different.”

“I still think that it only counts as four.”

“He says to a student of Athena, the goddess of wisdom.”

“He says to a follower of Hephaestus, god of the forge.”

“And what does that have to do with anything?” Telemachus asked, half teasingly and half actually curious.

“It means that I follow the god who came up with the idea of using chains in the bedroom.”

“Wasn’t that just because he wanted to expose Aphrodite for sleeping with Ares?”

“Little wolf, please just let me try and talk dirty to you.” Antinous sighed, resting his forehead on Telemachus’.

“I’ll do that when your dirty talk makes sense.”

“Okay, fine.” Antinous said casually before grabbing Telemachus’ wrists and pinning them down, “Either you let me say what I want, or I’m going to fuck you right here until you not only can’t correct my logic, but don’t even have enough logic in yourself to string a sentence together. It would be a shame to put a student of Athena in such a state, but don’t forget where you stand compared to me, little wolf. Or rather lay because I can easily make sure you won’t be able to stand for a long while, regardless of which gods either of us follow.”

“Y-yeah. That works.” Telemachus stammered, face flushed.

“Thank you.”

Antinous softly kissed Telemachus’ nose then stood up and walked away.

“Love, you do know that our bedroom is the other way, right?” Telemachus asked, sitting up.

“Why would I take you to the bedroom? I said I’d fuck you if you didn’t let me say what I wanted. You’re done correcting me, so I have no need. Besides, aren’t you hungry? I still need to make us breakfast.”

“I’d like to correct myself for calling you a jerk earlier.” Telemachus huffed, standing up, “You’re not a jerk. You’re an asshole.”

“Aw, I love you too. Consider it revenge for the nickname you gave me.”

“Athena is the one who said that in her eyes you changed from a feral dog to a stray puppy.” Telemachus corrected, following Antinous to the kitchen, “It’s not my fault she wasn’t showing herself to you and you asked me to tell you what she said.”

“Only because you laughed! I had to make sure she wasn’t mocking me, which she was.”

“She wasn’t mocking you, she was accepting your presence. You should be happy.”

“I suppose there are worse ways to be viewed by the goddess of wisdom and battle tactics.” Antinous sighed, laying his arms over Telemachus’ shoulders.

“Exactly. Once again, I’m right.” Telemachus said, wrapping his arms around Antinous’ waist.

“You certainly are, my little wolf, you most certainly are.”

~~~~~

Telemachus had been ecstatic all day, and why wouldn’t he be? Antinous really did everything he could so they could have as great of a day together as possible. They went horse riding, saw a play, and spent gods knows how long wandering the local market. He even managed to drag his dear lover into playing with some kids in town, just some game based on whatever the children knew about the war; Telemachus had even gotten the honor of being put in the role of Helen while Antinous was unanimously elected playing the very important role of the infamous Trojan horse despite his easily ignored requests to play anyone else, preferably Menelaus. The two of them even had a dinner picnic. Everything was going so well. 

Just like Telemachus had hoped.

“You know, little wolf, you’re allowed to change your mind.” Antinous said as the two laid on the grass and gazed up at the starry sky.

“About what?”

“Our plans for tonight. I know we have been talking about this for a while but…today has been a good day. A really good day.”

“And now you think that our plans will ruin that?” Telemachus asked, propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at Antinous.

“I think that I will ruin that. We don’t have to have sex tonight, if you don’t want to. And if you do, then we can just do that normally.”

“Antinous, if you’ve changed your mind, that’s okay. I won’t be mad. But don’t act like I must be lying to you about what I want. I would never lie about something like this. And I don’t want you to either.”

Antinous sighed and pulled Telemachus over to be laying on top of him, gently petting his hair.

“I haven’t changed my mind. There’s just a part of me that’s still telling me that this is wrong. To do this, to want this. I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re so vulnerable and trusting.”

“And I am trusting that you won’t take advantage of me. Because I know who you are, Antinous. Yes you have a very rough history morally speaking, but you aren’t some monster. I love you more than anyone and I would trust you with my life. I’ve trusted you with my body and emotions and heart before, so now I am trusting you with my mind. Because I know that you can keep all four of those and whatever else there could be safe, even when I’m not in a state where I can also be protecting them myself, at least not as strongly.”

“But…what if I break your trust?”

Telemachus wasn’t surprised that even after all of their discussions, that was still something he was worried about. He just chuckled and moved up so that his head was above Antinous, who slipped his hand out of his hair to hold the side of his face. Telemachus leaned into the touch as he always did and tried to convey all the love that he felt through his gaze.

“I know that you would rather die than lose me. That’s why you’ve been so scared, hasn’t it? Because you think that you’ll cross a line and I’ll leave you? I don’t want you to be scared of hypotheticals, so I’ll tell you the reality. If you break my trust, then you’ll break our relationship. If you decide to let your darker desires eat you instead of you just having a taste of them, then the moment I realize that fact, I will leave you to rot like a carcass that is so toxic not even starving scavenger animals would take a bite. And I will not pity you at all.”

Antinous looked almost scared of Telemachus’ words, so he placed a tender kiss on his nose before resting his forehead against his lover’s.

“So, Antinous, are you going to change your mind?”

There were a few moments of silence, then a sigh and a soft chuckle.

“No. I’m not.”

Antinous moved his face and Telemachus happily gave him a soft, tender kiss before pushing himself up.

“Then we better get home, my puppy. I shouldn’t stay up too late past my bedtime.”

He’d keep him safe. He was sure of it.

Chapter Text

“...actually turned out to have been found by a group of huntresses that follow the goddess Artemis. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was absolutely thrilled and we actually had a fairly amicable reunion, especially after I assured her that our father was long gone. We had quite the long conversation before she had to run off. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again, but I know that wherever she is, she’s having so much more fun than she ever would were she sent off to marry some rich scumbag more than twice her age like was planned.”

Telemachus was only half paying attention to what Antinous was saying. He had gotten him rambling about his family and sure it was nice to hear him talk, but he mostly just liked to see him so happy. They had been cuddling in bed for a while and Telemachus had expected to feel more tired, but something about Antinous’ warmth and calm but passionate energy actually kept him awake. It was comfortable, especially as there was that feeling in his head that made his body feel heavy but his mind feel weightless. Every sound and texture felt so much more clear, which meant that he got to fully enjoy being curled up against Antinous and hear the way his chest slightly vibrated as he talked and his calming heartbeat. However, as he nuzzled into Antinous’ chest, Antinous stopped talking. Telemachus was a little disappointed, but he wasn’t too upset. So long as he kept getting cuddles, that is.

“Tele? How are you feeling?” Antinous asked, using that soft voice that made every word feel like it was massaging his head.

“Comfy.” Telemachus giggled, nuzzling closer into Antinous, “You’re warm.”

“Well I’m very glad that you’re comfortable, but that’s now what I meant.” Antinous chuckled, “How big does your head feel?”

Telemachus had to think for a moment, having to figure out what exactly Antinous meant by that. He liked being asked questions –one time Athena came over while he and Antinous were playing and she asked him a ton of things, not being upset at all when he couldn’t remember some words or got off topic and even joining their games for a little bit– but sometimes Antinous asked him things that didn’t make sense right away and he had to think about them. He didn’t really mind having to think hard, but he didn’t like it very much. It always took so long and was sometimes way too difficult, especially when Antinous was being too not specific with his words.

“I don’t think I feel really small, but I’m not quite medium either.” Telemachus said, pausing for a moment before softening his tone, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, my little wolf.”

Antinous kissed him on the forehead and Telemachus could feel his face heat up and an uncontrollable smile grow on his face. He quickly pulled Antinous close and buried his face in his chest. He knew that Antinous only did that because he liked how he reacted, but he needed to prove that he couldn’t get made to feel things so easily. Antinous just made it so hard sometimes! It wasn’t fair. Antinous just loved him so much and it was sometimes so annoying even if he’d never want anything less.

“Tele, are you hiding from me?” Antinous asked, teasing clear in his voice.

Instead of responding, Telemachus shook his head. He knew that if he talked then Antinous would just have more things to say that’d make him feel things.

“I’d hope not. I’d never want you to feel like you need to hide your adorable little face from me.”

Telemachus knew that he was blushing even harder and tried to press his face into Antinous chest as much as he could. Not only was it a way to hide his face, but he was able to get at least a little revenge because he knew that what he was doing was slightly tickling Antinous; earlier Antinous had said he was feeling a bit hot and even though Telemachus didn’t think it was that hot he did start to feel warm inside when Antinous had folded down the top half of his chiton so it was just covering a bit of his lower half, his whole torso fully on display, so he didn’t try to argue. So even if he knew that Antinous would know that he was still affecting him, at least he could take advantage of Antinous’ slight ticklishness.

“You can do whatever lets you keep feeling comfy.” Antinous cooed, running a hand through Telemachus’ hair, “But you don’t have to hide from me. You’re safe, Telemachus. You’re really, really safe.”

Telemachus could feel himself getting pulled in deeper into the warmth inside of him and he’d never even consider complaining.

“You’re too nice to me.” Telemachus mumbled into Antinous’ chest, unable to stop the smile forming on his face as moving his mouth just made Antinous’ chest hair tickle his face.

“Could you repeat yourself? I couldn’t hear you, my little prince.”

“I said you’re too nice to me, ‘Tinous!” Telemachus laughed, moving his face up.

Sure he was giving Antinous what he wanted, but if he didn’t then Antinous would just keep talking all silly until he did. And also he wanted to be able to look at his face again, always looking so kind and caring but also super strong, like he’d protect him from all the monsters in the world from sirens and cyclops to giants and hydras.

“Hm, I disagree.” 

“Why?”

“Because I think that I’m the perfect level of nice to you.” Antinous said, giving Telemachus a light kiss on his nose.

“Well you’re wrong.” Telemachus argued.

“I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

“Because I know better.” Antinous shrugged.

“That’s not true!”

“Yes it is. I am a big, strong man. But you’re just a little boy.”

Telemachus could feel warmth grow in his chest at Antinous’ words and he couldn’t get himself to be able to say anything in response. How could he? Sure he knew that Antinous had fun arguing with him sometimes, but how could he argue when he was being so nice to him?

“You’re not saying anything in your defense, so I guess that means you agree.”

“No it doesn’t!” Telemachus shot back, unable to stop himself from giggling, “You’re-”

Telemachus was cut off by Antinous putting his lips against his. He was kissing him. He was kissing him. A wave of…something he couldn’t remember the word for crashed through Telemachus’ body and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. He only knew how to kiss people when he was big! He didn’t think he was allowed to do that otherwise. Sure, sometimes when they were playing or cuddling Antinous would kiss his nose or forehead or cheeks, but never on the mouth. It was all so confusing. But also really, really good. Good enough that when Antinous broke the kiss just moments after starting it, Telemachus was a little disappointed. He wanted to keep feeling good.

“So…how did that feel?” Antinous slowly asked.

“I liked it. A lot.” Telemachus said, his cheeks almost hurting with how big he was smiling, “It was nice and made me feel all warm inside but different than normal.”

For a moment it looked like Antinous was looking at him in a different way because of what he said, but before he could figure out what way that was Antinous was back to smiling at him again like he always did.

“Would you like to do that again?”

Telemachus instantly nodded, his excitement making Antinous look at him amused as he ruffled his hair.

“I need you to use your words, Telem. I know I normally don’t make you talk when you don’t feel like it, but tonight I want you to be as verbal as you can. Especially if you do or don’t want something.”

“Of course!”

“Are you saying that you understand or that you want me to kiss you again?”

“Well, yeah, I understand but I…I also want you to kiss me again.” Telemachus said, softening his voice, always both loving and hating when Antinous made him repeat exactly what he wanted.

“Good boy.”

Antinous kissed him again, holding their lips together for longer, though still being so soft and gentle with him. Telemachus could feel the different warmth inside him growing, making some weird and confusing feelings start to form in his body. He knew he knew them, but he didn’t understand them. But even so, he did know that they felt good. It was probably just confusing because he was doing something he had never done when he was small. And Antinous was much bigger than him so if he thought it was fine then that must mean he thought he could do it!

“So, still like it?” Antinous asked, his face staying close to Telemachus’.

“Y-yeah, I did.”

“I’m glad. If you want, we can do more.”

“More kissing?” Telemachus excitedly asked.

“That can certainly be part of it, if you want. But I was wanting to go further than that.”

“Further? But…am I allowed to do that?”

“Of course you are. As long as you keep having fun, that is.”

“Oh, it’s like a game!”

“No, no, not like a game.” Antinous quickly corrected, still maintaining his soft tone, “It’s something else. Just a sort of adult activity.”

“If it’s an adult activity then maybe I shouldn’t do it.” Telemachus said with a hint of nervousness, moving back slightly, “I’ll probably be bad at it right now.”

“But that’s why I’m here. To help you. I’ll be right here. And it’ll make you feel really, really good. It’s not a game, but it will be fun. That warm feeling you said you got inside? You’ll feel that and so much more.”

“How do you know?”

“Well I know how much you like it when you’re feeling bigger. So why wouldn’t you like it when you’re smaller? Unless of course…you don’t think that you’re strong enough.” Antinous said before sighing and moving back, “I guess that’s fine. We can just do what we always do. No need to do anything new or fun. We can just lay here and you can listen to my boring old stories until you fall asleep and-”

“No! No, we can do what you want.” Telemachus quickly said, propping himself up slightly, “I’m plenty strong.”

“That’s right, you are.” Antinous said with a smile, cupping the side of Telemachus’ face, “You’re my strong little wolf that I love oh so much.”

“Aw, you love me?” Telemachus giggled slightly teasingly.

“Of course I do, kid. Which is why I want you to tell me for sure that you want to do more than kissing.”

“I do! I really, really do. And I trust you. You always take good care of me.”

“Oh Telem, I’m going to take great care of you.”

The way Antinous’ eyes looked up and down his body after he said that felt a little weird, like he was looking at him differently again, the same way he did when he mentioned the different warm feeling. But maybe that was just part of what Antinous was going to show him. Telemachus didn’t know, but he was sure Antinous would tell him eventually. And if he didn’t then that just meant he thought he was smart enough to figure it out on his own. Antinous did always praise him for being as clever as he was and if he proved that right when they were doing more than usual then maybe he’d get more praise than usual, something that Telemachus would never be opposed to.

Antinous gave him one more long kiss before sitting up, bringing Telemachus up with him. He couldn't help but laugh at just how easily Antinous was able to move even with him laying on top of him and the joy he always got at being shown just how much smaller he was already made him happy, he could tell that Antinous enjoyed his reaction. But why wouldn’t he? Antinous always loved to see him happy, so of course he’d like to see him laughing. Or maybe he liked the reminder of how big he was just as much as Telemachus liked the opposite.

“I don’t know how I always forget how cute you are when you’re like this.” Antinous said, placing a soft kiss on Telemachus’ nose.

“Maybe because you’re just a big dummy.” Telemachus teased, “I’m always having to remind you of things.”

“Oh yes and I never have to remind you of anything of course. You never forget words when you’re going on your adorable little rants to me or Athena and have to ask me to remind you what you’re trying to say.”

“Hey! That’s not-”

Telemachus was cut off by Antinous pulling him closer and into another kiss. Telemachus had to hold onto his shoulders for support but otherwise just closed his eyes and followed Antinous’ lead. Though at some point for some reason he could feel something poking against his lips, shortly followed by Antinous just barely pulling his head back.

“I need you to open your mouth for me, kid.” Antinous said, looking half-amused but half that weird look he kept getting.

“Why? Are you going to put something in my mouth?”

“Yes, my tongue, and I know it probably sounds weird but I swear it’ll feel good. You just have to trust me, okay?”

“Okay! I can do that.”

“Good boy.”

When Antinous went back in to continue the kiss, Telemachus opened his mouth –he guessed how much room Antinous would need– and was quickly met with the very weird feeling of Antinous’ tongue slipping inside. Even if he knew it was going to happen it was still a surprising feeling. He knew it wasn’t unfamiliar, but with as small as he felt it was still strange. But even with how he felt, he could tell from the way Antinous exhaled into his mouth that he was doing a good job. The warmth inside him was only building and he started to almost melt into Antinous, only for the man’s hands to suddenly move down and squeeze, making Telemachus let out a surprised yelp and he accidentally bit Antinous’ tongue.

“I’m sorry.” Telemachus quickly said as soon as Antinous’ head moved back, “I- I didn’t mean to.”

“You’re okay, little wolf.” Antinous gently assured, “You know I can take it.”

“I know you’re super tough but I still feel bad. I just…wasn’t expecting you to- to grab my butt.”

“Did you not like it?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay, really. You’re allowed to not know things.” Antinous cooed, “I bet a lot of this stuff feels really confusing for you.”

“I’m s’pposed to know this stuff. I know I know this stuff. But right now it feels…”

“Too big for you?”

“Exactly!”

“But that’s why I’m here to help.” Antinous said, kissing Telemachus’ cheek, “I can explain things, help them not feel scary or confusing or any other thing you might think that they are. Well, besides good and fun. That’s my priority, making sure you’re feeling good and having fun. So, do you want me to stop touching you there?”

Telemachus thought for a moment, trying his best to focus on the sensation of Antinous’ comparatively massive hands gently cupping his butt, no longer applying any pressure. He wiggled slightly to try and decide better, which amused Antinous and got the man to give a quick, gentle squeeze, which made Telemachus squeak, only adding to Antinous’ amusement.

“No. I…like it when you touch me.”

“My little wolf likes getting his cute ass groped?”

“You shouldn’t say it like that!” Telemachus laughed, “But…yes, I do.”

“Good. Because, unless you wish otherwise, I don’t plan on stopping any time soon.”

Antinous started to practically knead his butt as he pressed a firm but not deep kiss to Telemachus’ lips before trailing down. Telemachus’ breath hitched and his grip on Antinous’ shoulders tightened as he began to suck at his neck.

“W-what are you doing, ‘Tinous?” Telemachus asked with a soft whimper.

“Marking you up.” Antinous said simply, his lips brushing against his skin as he spoke, his facial hair scratching at the soft flesh, “I want to make sure there’ll be no doubt in anyone’s mind that you’re all mine. No one else will be allowed to have you. Especially not like this. Isn’t that nice?”

“Mhm.” Telemachus nodded, “I like being yours.”

“Then you always will be, little wolf.”

Antinous continued to mark up his neck and Telemachus relaxed into his lap, letting the weird feelings he didn’t have the words to describe flow through him. At least until Antinous’ lips drifted towards his shoulder and left his skin, something that was momentarily confusing until he felt the fabric of his chiton shifting and realized that Antinous had bitten down on the pin secured at his shoulder and was starting to remove it.

“W-wait!” Telemachus shakily said.

Antinous stopped, moving his mouth from the pin and looking at him, curious but also concerned.

“I…don’t want to be, you know, that exposed.” Telemachus slowly explained, “Is- is that okay?”

“Of course it is, my prince. And I’m glad you told me. I told you this was going to be fun and we can’t have fun if you’re feeling uncomfortable or the bad kind of weird, can we?”

“No?” Telemachus answered, though there was a hint of unsurety in his voice.

“That’s right, we cannot! You’re so smart.” Antinous praised, “And you’ll make sure to tell me if I ever start to do something you don’t want, right?”

“I already told you I would do that, like, a hundred times.” Telemachus giggled, the sense of comfort coming back to him.

“I know, I know, I just want my precious pup to be enjoying himself just as much as I am.”

“You’re enjoying this too?”

“I am. More than you realize, I think.” Antinous said, eyes glancing over Telemachus’ body for a moment.

“I don’t want you to hide from me how you’re feeling!”

“Oh really?”

“Of course not! This is supposed to be fun for both of us, right?”

“That is right.” Antinous nodded, “Thank you for reminding me.”

“See? I told you I’m always having to remind you of things.” Telemachus said smugly.

“Well then, it’s only fair then that I show you how I’m having fun too.”

Antinous used his hold to pull Telemachus closer so their hips were as close as they could be with Telemachus sitting in Antinous’ lap. Telemachus started to rock his hips against Antinous simply because he felt like that was what he was supposed to do which turned out to be the right thing as Antinous let out a soft noise that a part of him knew was a good noise. As such, he kept doing it, feeling Antinous gripping him tighter but still knowing that that was a good thing. He didn’t know how he knew but it was easy to assume that it was just rooted in his head from doing what they were doing enough times when he was bigger.

“So, can you tell that I’m enjoying this?” Antinous asked, breaths seeming heavier.

“Yeah. You like it when I rock against you, don’t you?”

“I do. I like it very, very much. I think with the extra fabric you might not be able to feel how hard I am but, well, you’ll be able to know soon enough.” Antinous said, pausing for a moment before a smirk began to form on his face, “Though now I’m wondering how good this feels for you. I know you’ve said that you like it but I want to see how much you like it.”

“How would you do that?” Telemachus asked, stopping his movements.

“Well, it would involve me feeling your dick. And, if you would be okay with it, I’d like to see it too. I know you didn’t want me to strip you, but are you okay with me just seeing that? You won’t have to take anything off.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. It feels really good when you touch me so I bet if you want to touch there so bad it’s because you know it’ll feel really good.”

“Fuck, kid.” Antinous exhaled, eyes darkening again, “I wish I had asked for this so much sooner.”

Before Telemachus could ask what he meant, a shock of what could only be described as pleasure rushed though his body as Antinous’ hand slipped under his chiton and wrapped around his length. The fabric was easily pushed out of the way and he got to see how Antinous’ hands surrounded him so fully as he was already leaking. His grip on Antinous’ shoulders that he was still holding tightened but Antinous didn’t seem to mind one bit as he began to move his hand up and down his length.

“You’re so fucking hard for me.” Antinous husked, “So sensitive too. You really do like this even when you’re small. I don’t know why I doubted it. My pretty little pup always loves to be so close to me. Well don’t worry, soon we’re going to be even closer. That sounds nice, right?”

“Mhm.” Telemachus managed with a quick nod, “Really nice.”

“You still feeling good?”

“There’s something tightening inside me when you do this.”

“Don’t worry, that’s a good thing. It’s all the pleasure, all the good feelings, collecting inside of you. And once it gets really strong, it’ll snap and come out of you all at once. Does that make sense?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Great. Because I want you to tell me when you think it’ll snap soon.”

“Why?”

“I just want to know. So can you do that for me, Tele? Can you tell me when you feel like it’s close to bursting?”

“Yes. I can.” Telemachus whimpered, “But please, go faster.”

“Your wish is my command, little prince.”

Antinous moved his hand faster and Telemachus let out a long, soft moan. His hands slipped down from Antinous’ shoulders to his upper arms and he rested the side of his face on the older man’s shoulder. He could hear Antinous make some amused sound but all he could focus on was the tightening inside of him.

“Please, ‘Tinous.” Telemachus whimpered, his hips bucking into Antinous’ hand.

“Shhh, you’re okay kiddo, you’re okay.”

“Feels weird.”

“Good weird or bad weird?”

“Good. R-really good.”

“That’s okay, that’s how it’s supposed to feel.” Antinous said, softly kissing the side of his face.

“How long?”

“Until you feel the tightness about to burst. Do you feel like that yet?”

“N-no. Not yet.”

“Then just keep holding onto me. You’re doing so good, my Telemachus. Just let me keep taking care of you. You can do that, right?”

“Mhm.”

“Come on kid, you can use more words than that.”

“Yes. Yes I can keep letting you take care of me.” Telemachus managed.

“That’s my good little boy.”

Telemachus nuzzled into Antinous shoulder as he let out a heavy exhale. Antinous continued to stroke his length, even picking up the pace a little more. He tried to start moving his hips more into Antinous’ hand only to get gently tsked at, making hims stop. He was trying his best to listen to what Antinous told him to do but as the feeling just got more and more intense he just wanted to let it all burst already. But he had to do as he was told. Besides, he bet if he told Antinous when he got that intense feeling, he’d make sure it felt as good as it could.

And thankfully, he knew that it wouldn’t be long.

“‘Tinous!” Telemachus sharply whined.

“What is it?”

“I- it’s- tight- coming-” Telemachus stammered, the feelings inside of him building more and more.

“You think it’s going to burst?”

“Yes!”

“Mmm, thank you for telling me like I asked you too.” Antinous hummed.

Instead of doing anything special –or even continuing as he has been– Antinous slowed down his hand until he stopped and let go. Telemachus felt the feeling slowly fade until instead of feeling tight it was just a dull throbbing as he panted for air against Antinous’ shoulder. He wasn’t supposed to do that! He wasn’t supposed to take away what made him feel good!

“Why…why did you stop?” Telemachus slowly asked.

“Because I want to take my time with you. I don’t want to risk tiring you out too soon. We’re supposed to have fun, right?”

“Well yeah but…”

“Aw, are you disappointed?”

“A little.” Telemachus admitted, pressing his head further into Antinous.

“Hey, don’t worry, no need to be unhappy. Can you lay down for me?”

“I thought you said you’re trying to make sure we have fun.” Telemachus said, lifting his head up to look at Antinous.

“I did. And that’s what I’m doing. I need you off my lap and laying down for the next part.”

“And this isn’t some trick to get me to go to bed?”

“You’re already already in bed, kiddo.”

“You know what I mean.” Telemachus said with a slight giggle, some happiness coming back to his expression.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But you won’t know what I mean until you lay down.”

“And you promise you aren’t tricking me? You’re actually going to keep letting me feel good?”

“I promise. And tell you what, if I am tricking you, then I’ll give you a treat to make up for it.”

“What kind of treat?”

“Well if I told you then you might just think I’ll trick you just so I can give that to you.”

Telemachus didn’t really know if that made the most sense but he trusted Antinous so he just smiled at him and got out of the man’s lap before flopping down onto his back. Antinous’ eyes dragged over his body with that dark look but he was starting to think that that look was a good thing so he just kept laying there as Antinous moved down the bed.

“I need you to bend your knees and spread your legs for me.”

“Okay!” Telemachus chipperly said, doing as he was told, “Is this okay?”

“Perfect, my little wolf. Absolutely perfect.”

Antinous reached over to something that was sitting on the bedside table –Telemachus didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed it– and as Antinous sat on his knees between his legs, he realized that it was a vial of oil that Antinous poured over some of his fingers.

“Are you going to put your fingers inside me?” Telemachus asked.

“Yes, I am. Very smart. That must be something you remember from when you’re bigger.”

“How many are you going to use?”

“One at first, but I’m going to work my way up to three. That way you’ll be able to feel as good and comfortable as possible. Do you understand?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Good boy.”

Telemachus was amazed that he was still able to notice the warmth in his face with how nonstop Antinous’ praise was, but he wasn’t going to complain. Especially not as one of Antinous’ fingers circled his hole before slipping partially inside. Telemachus gasped at the feeling but Antinous gave him time to get used to it before slowly slipping the rest of his finger inside. It felt strange but he knew deep down that he had felt it before which meant that he should have been able to know everything he was going to feel, or at least how to describe what he was feeling, but all of those words were hidden by a sort of fog. But he didn’t let himself get worried or scared; he knew that Antinous was going to take great care of him and he promised that he would make him feel good.

He loved him, after all.

The finger started to slide in and out of him and Telemachus shifted slightly as he tried to get used to the feeling. He saw that Antinous was enjoying himself so he knew that he had to be able to enjoy it too. And it did feel good, it just felt so weird. But he was slowly able to get used to it and his breathing started to get a little shaky as he felt himself clenching around Antinous’ finger without even thinking about it, like he wanted to keep Antinous inside of him.

“How are you doing?”

“Doing okay.”

“Just okay?”

“Want more.” Telemachus exhaled, rolling his hips against Antinous’ hand.

“Ah, of course you do.” Antinous chuckled, “Your body is used to much more than this. Gods, I’ll never forget the day you took my whole fist inside of you.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know, it’s something you wanted to try. For once, that’s a kind of logic I can’t help you figure out.”

“All this stuff is weird.”

“True, it is. Is it too weird for you to take a second finger?”

“No!” Telemachus quickly said.

“Alright then, I was just checking.” Antinous softly laughed.

“Please ‘Tinous, I need more.”

“Well if that’s what my prince needs, who am I to delay?”

Antinous took his finger out but didn’t leave Telemachus empty for long as two fingers entered him. Telemachus took a staggered breath but as the fingers pumped in and out of him he noticed the good tight feeling starting to form. It was a long way away from getting to where it was before, but it was back. His whole body felt warm and things felt less weird; maybe that was what Antinous meant when he said his body was used to taking more. There was a sudden spike in the feelings as Antinous’ fingers hit something that made him practically choke out a moan and his hips bucked.

“Ah, there we go.” Antinous said, a hint of satisfaction in his voice, “That’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Really nice. Do that again. Please.” Telemachus panted.

“Sorry, I can’t do that, too risky.”

Telemachus could only whimper disappointedly which, annoyingly, only seemed to satisfy Antinous more.

“Trust me kiddo, I know what I’m doing.”

“What you’re doing is mean.” Telemachus huffed.

“Nah, you’re just too small to recognize that I’m really being nice to you by not giving you everything you want so easily. If I gave you everything you want right away, it would be a lot less fun for you when we got to what I want. And like I keep saying, I want you to feel as good as possible. Can you believe me when I tell you that?”

“I gue- AH!” Telemachus gasped as Antinous hit that spot again.

“Thank you. Such a good boy, listening to me when I tell you to. That’s all I need you to do.”

Telemachus could only nod but that was enough for Antinous to start moving his fingers faster. Every time his fingers brushed over that spot inside of him there was a jolt of pleasure that made the tight feeling inside of him only build up more and more, much more quickly than when he was touching him before. In fact, it didn’t take too terribly long for him to realize that he was getting close to that point again. And with Antinous’ promise, he knew that he’d actually be able to enjoy it until the previous time.

“I feel it again.” Telemachus quickly said as his hips bucked into the open air.

“Already?”

“Yes, yes, please ‘Tinous.”

“Hm. You’re so much more sensitive like this.”

Much to Telemachus’ surprise, Antinous just pulled his fingers out of him. For a moment he thought he would do something different, but he didn’t. He just let him lay there as the feeling faded again. Why was he stopping again? He said he was going to make him feel good but all he felt was empty, needy. And sure he knew that it was okay to feel needy sometimes, but Antinous always pushed that feeling out of him instead of putting it into him. As much as Telemachus wanted to keep acting big and mature so he could keep doing adult things, he couldn’t help but sniffle slightly which got Antinous to move on top of him, kindly holding his face to make sure he was looking at him.

“Hey, Telem, are you okay? Are you hurt?” Antinous gently asked.

“‘m not hurt. Just…feels confusing.”

“Yeah, I know, these are a lot of big feelings.”

“You tricked me! You said you’d let me feel good but you stopped again!” Telemachus cried, not knowing why he was crying but unable to stop himself from it, “This was supposed to be fun but you keep stopping any time I get close to that big burst of pleasure.”

“I want to save that for when I actually fuck you, kid. I thought it would take longer for those feelings to build back up again.”

“Then just f-fuck me.”

“I- I can’t do that.” Antinous said, even though Telemachus could tell even in his state that he wanted to, “I might hurt you.”

“‘s not fair.” Telemachus huffed, “You do all of this to me and you don’t have to worry about it because you’re not feeling any of it. I bet if I was doing this to you you wouldn’t want me to stop.”

“That’s probably true, yes.” Antinous admitted with a nod, “But this is about you, not me. I want to give you everything that you said you wanted when you were big. And I guess now we’re learning that you might be a bit too sensitive for even some basic things. But hey, that’s okay. It’s good that we’re learning.”

“I don’t wanna learn, I want you to stick to what you said.”

“You’re right, you’re right. And I’m sorry.”

Antinous gave Telemachus a soft kiss before sitting up and moving to be sitting against the headboard of the bed, looking down at Telemachus and gesturing for him to join him. Even if Telemachus was annoyed, he still wanted to be close so he got up and moved into Antinous’ lap, sitting facing him with his legs on either side of Antinous’, his arms loosely wrapped around his waist, and his head resting on his chest. Once he was settled, Antinous kissed his head and rubbed his bed, letting Telemachus breathe and relax into him. He stopped crying and was slowly able to just content himself with being close to Antinous, nuzzling into him.

“So, how is your head feeling?” Antinous eventually asked.

“Small. Really small, I think.”

“Alright. Do you feel too small to keep going with this stuff? Do you just want to talk and cuddle? Maybe try going to sleep.”

“No, I wanna keep going. I just- I just don’t like you stopping and starting so much. Even if you say it’ll be better later, I don’t know that. I want the better now, even if it’s not what we do when I’m feeling bigger.”

“Okay, I promise I’ll stop doing that.”

“You broke your last promise.” Telemachus mumbled.

“Hmmm, you’re right, I did. Which means that I owe you a treat, don’t I? That was what I said you’d get if it turned out I was tricking you and you feel tricked so it’s only fair. Not to mention the fact that with how well you’ve been doing you deserve something nicer.”

“What’s the treat?” Telemachus asked, moving back slightly to better look at Antinous, a rush of excitement filling him.

“Just let me do one little thing. Could you scoot back a bit for me?”

Telemachus nodded and moved back, curiosity quickly turning into wonder as Antinous fully removed his chiton that had already been half off but its removal leaving the older man naked, giving Telemachus a perfect view at his body. Telemachus’ eyes were wide as he looked over him. Part of him knew that he had seen the view before –many times before– but with how small he felt it felt so different.

“Wow.” Telemachus exhaled with a slight chuckle, his eyes still looking up and down Antinous’ fully exposed body, “You’re so…big. I mean, I already knew you were but…you know.”

“You’re right, I do know.” Antinous said with a smirk, kissing Telemachus’ cheek and leaning in close to his ear, “It makes it so much easier to keep little boys like you safe.”

Telemachus could feel the warmth radiating inside his chest and couldn’t help but giggle, a reaction that didn’t calm when Antinous kissed his ear before leaning back against the headboard again.

“So, for your treat, I figured that it would only be fair if you got some time to explore by using me. You’re right that I’ve been putting so much focus on you and it can feel like so much. But maybe if you get some time to experiment, you’ll understand it better and feel better about things as we go forward. Does that sound fun?”

“Mmmm I guess it does.” Telemachus hummed, trying and failing to stop himself from smiling widely at the man.

“Come on Telem, you can be honest with me, can’t you?”

“I guess.” Telemachus giggled, wiggling slightly, “You’re sure that I can do whatever I want with you?”

“Well I doubt you’d do anything I don’t like, but if you do I’ll tell you. You don’t need to worry about me. Just enjoy yourself. You’ve been such a good little kiddo, after all.”

Telemachus had no hope of not smiling so widely, but he knew that Antinous liked seeing him happy. As such he took a moment to look over Antinous’ body, considering what to do, before moving slightly closer and wrapping his hands around Antinous’ dick. A part of him knew that he didn’t really need both hands, but using two hands felt safer than just one. Antinous dick was stiff and leaking a decent amount of fluid already but Telemachus still felt so giddy as he heard Antinous’ breath hitch. He had barely even done anything but he was still making Antinous feel so good. Telemachus slowly started to move his hands, focusing as best he could to keep his coordination good enough. Sure he had some muscle memory, but he still wanted to be careful since he wasn’t always the most skillful with his hands with just about anything when he was feeling smaller.

“You’re doing such a good job, little wolf.” Antinous said with a heavy exhale, “I didn’t doubt you but…fuck you’re always impressing me.”

“I wanna do the best job.”

“And I know you will. I’m sure of it.”

Telemachus started to move his hands faster, pulling a moan from Antinous’ lips. One of Antinous’ hands wrapped around to his back, pulling him closer. Close enough that Antinous was able to tuck his head in the crook of his neck, softly kissing him, though avoiding the marks that he had left. But then Antinous happened to kiss directly on top of one of the sore marks and Telemachus made a surprised squeak, accidentally tightening his hands around Antinous’ dick. The squeak was quickly followed by a yelp as Antinous bit down on his neck. Instantly, Telemachus jerked back, any feelings of pain being overwhelmed with feelings of guilt.

“‘M sorry!” Telemachus quickly said, “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to!”

“Hey, you’re okay, you’re okay. You have nothing to apologize for, my prince.” Antinous assured, “You’ve held my dick a lot harder than that before. It’s fine.”

“Why…why did you bite me?”

“I guess…sometimes I bite when I don’t know how else to express my feelings.” Antinous explained, pausing for a moment before looking more sympathetic, “Did you not like that?”

Telemachus nodded, still feeling guilty.

“It felt like you were mad at me.” Telemachus softly said.

Antinous softly but affectionately chuckled and held the side of Telemachus’ face with the hand that wasn’t on his back, pulling him into a soft kiss.

“I will never be mad at you, Tele. And even if I did get mad, I know how to handle my feelings better than that. And I swear that I won’t bite you or do anything else that’ll hurt you again. I’m sorry that I keep forgetting how sensitive you are when you’re like this. Do you want to try again? You were doing so well.”

Telemachus shook his head, not wanting to risk it. But it wasn’t like he didn’t have any other ideas as he started to almost knead the flesh of Antinous’ chest, always enjoying just how squishy some parts of him were, especially compared to himself being basically all bone and muscle.

“That’s a great idea.” Antinous chuckled, a hint of a moan in his voice.

Antinous leaned back slightly, as if he was making a point of keeping his mouth –his teeth– far away from Telemachus’ skin. Because of that, as Telemachus rolled one of his nipples between his thumb and pointer finger, Antinous bit down on his lip, muffling a moan. Telemachus found his attempt to try and hide his noises silly, but it was also cute.

It was nice to know that Antinous could be cute too.

“I like hearing you too.” Telemachus coyly commented.

“Do you?”

“Mmhm!”

Telemachus tugged at Antinous’ nipple, making the man sharply inhale before laughing.

“You really like groping at my tits, don’t you?”

“Well I wouldn’t use those words but…yeah.” Telemachus admitted with a slight smirk.

“Well good, I like it too. Though I just love feeling your cute little hands on me.”

“You like every part of me. On you or not.”

“Very true, little wolf. Very true.” Antinous nodded.

“And I can prove it too!”

Before Antinous could even start to ask what he meant, Telemachus readjusted how he sat so he could lower his head and start sucking at Antinous’ chest. He could hear the man trying and failing to hold back a sound of pleasure, or maybe he had successfully held it back but then stopped trying. Either way, Telemachus got to enjoy the noises he was able to get Antinous to make. He left a few marks across Antinous’ chest before taking one of his nipples, the one he hadn’t been toying with with his hands, into his mouth, making Antinous shudder a moan. Antinous shifted slightly to do something but it wasn’t much and Telemachus could still stay focused. Being able to use his mouth and just do something simple and repetitive made him feel so calm, and the enjoyment that it brought Antinous made him feel even better. And apparently it was good enough that Antinous wanted to do even more for him as he softly squeaked when Antinous pushed three fingers into his hole. The stretch was weird, but he knew that it meant it wouldn’t be long before Antinous actually fucked him. So he let the fingers pump in and out of him as he kept his mouth busy.

“You having a good time with that?”

Telemachus nodded and made a noise of affirmation, but didn’t pull his mouth away from Antinous’ chest.

“You’ve always been so good with your mouth.” Antinous cooed, petting Telemachus’ hair with his free hand, “You know, I’m so used to being your daddy…I didn’t expect you to like treating me more like your mommy.”

Telemachus moved his head back just enough to be able to look Antinous in the eyes, looking at him curiously.

“Would it be bad if you were like my mommy?”

Antinous gave him a weird look, eyes going wide, fingers stilling, and seeming like his mind stopped working for a few moments, making Telemachus feel concerned since he couldn’t think of any time where he had seen him make such a face before.

“‘Tinous? Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Antinous said, clearing his throat and ruffling Telemachus’ hair assuringly, “Go on, keep enjoying yourself.”

Telemachus didn’t need to be told twice and went back to sucking at Antinous’ chest. The man’s fingers started to move inside him again.

“We are going to have a long talk when you’re feeling big again.” Antinous said with a heavy exhale.

Telemachus didn’t quite know what he meant, but he figured it probably didn’t matter. Especially as Antinous’ fingers hit that sensitive spot inside of him that sent enough of a spike of pleasure through him that he released Antinous’ skin from his mouth, instead just resting his head on his chest. His hips rocked back on Antinous’ fingers wanting more, and thankfully not only did he get that but Antinous also didn’t expect him to get back to doing what he had been. He tried his best but could only weakly mouth at the skin, mostly just whimpering and moaning. He could feel the tightness starting to form inside of him, but when Antinous pulled his fingers out he didn’t feel anywhere close to bursting and it didn’t feel disappointing or uncomfortable.

Antinous moved his hand from Telemachus’ hair to his face, guiding him into a slow, tender kiss that Telemachus was happy to melt into. He even opened his mouth enough for Antinous to deepen the kiss, which Antinous did as he shifted slightly holding Telemachus’ waist with his free hand and moving them both so Telemachus was laying down, Antinous above him.

“You’ve been so good for me, kiddo.” Antinous husked, that weird look returning to his eyes again, “And now you’re finally going to get what you wanted. What we’ve both wanted.”

It was with those words that Telemachus realized that Antinous was finally going to fuck him. And yet, despite all of his excitement before, as he was laying on the bed with Antinous’ large figure looming above him, he was suddenly filled with so many feelings that he didn’t know the words for. And that scared him. And as much as he wanted to trust Antinous and just go with things, he also knew just how much Antinous had encouraged him to say how he felt.

“W-wait.” Telemachus managed, even if part of him felt weird saying it, “Stop.”

“Oh, o-of course. Are you okay, Tele?” Antinous asked.

“I’m fine there are just so many weird feelings inside me right now.”

“Do you want to stop here? Or do something else? I don’t have to fuck you if you don’t want me to, kiddo.”

“I…don’t know.” Telemachus slowly said, unable to stop tears welling up in his eyes.

“Do you want a better idea of what I want to do?”

Telemachus nodded, but reminded himself that Antinous wanted him to use his words.

“Yes please.”

“Aw, I’m so proud of you for making sure to communicate for me. My dick is going to be inside your ass and I’ll fuck you for however long it feels good for you. I’m not going to tease you anymore and will let you cum when you want to. If you want, I can also touch your dick as I fuck you. That’ll help you cum sooner. Oh, and I’ll probably want to see more of your body, but I won’t strip you. How does that sound, my prince?”

“I- I think I can try that.”

“That’s my strong little wolf.”

Antinous moved back to get the vial of oil and poured some into his hand, slicking up his dick. As he did, he used his other hand to move Telemachus’ chiton up to expose the lower half of his torso.

“Is this okay?” Antinous asked.

“Yeah, it is.”

While it did feel a little weird to be so exposed, it wasn’t a bad kind of weird. And those feelings were instantly replaced with a good weird feeling as he felt Antinous rub his dick over his hole before slowly easing inside. Telemachus took a staggered inhale as he felt so much stretched out than he expected. He knew that Antinous was big in more ways than one, but he also knew that he was able to handle his size. But in that moment it felt like so much more than he could remember feeling.

And it was amazing.

“Remember to breathe for me, Tele.”

“Uh huh.” Telemachus breathlessly said with a nod.

Telemachus took a few deep, steady breaths which got Antinous to give him a proud look before he started to pull back some before pushing back in. He moved in time with Telemachus’ breathing, moving out when Telemachus inhaled and back in when he exhaled. And as Telemachus started to get into a rhythm with his breathing, Antinous got to a more consistent pace with his movements.

“You still feeling okay?”

“Y-yeah.” Telemachus said, though there was a weird tightness in his throat.

“Can I go faster?”

“Mmhm.”

Antinous took that as enough and increased his pace slightly. Telemachus tried to stay focused on his breaths, but the pleasure he got from Antinous starting to actually fuck him made that harder, especially as he started to get to a steady pace. Telemachus felt a weird tightness in his chest and there was a strange feeling in his head. Something was feeling different, like he was being pulled out from being submerged under water. Everything felt so fuzzy but also…colder. 

Like it was all more real.

“Antinous.” Telemachus groaned, his voice sounding strange.

No, not strange.

Normal?

For a split second there was a look of concern on Antinous face before he lowered his face down to kiss Telemachus’ forehead, slowing his pace slightly.

“What is it, little wolf? Are you feeling okay?” Antinous asked, the tone he used making his words feel like honey, thick and entrapping.

Telemachus tried to say something, but he couldn’t. All he could do was make a weird noise as he squirmed slightly beneath Antinous. He didn’t know what was going on with his mind and his body and it all felt so weird. Scary.

He didn’t want to be scared.

“I know this is a lot but you’re doing so good, kiddo. You should be proud of yourself, being so mature for your age.” Antinous assured, getting back to the pace he had been at before.

Telemachus could feel himself starting to get pulled back down, but it was so slow. He couldn’t help but whimper softly. He didn’t like having all the feelings in his head that were too confusing to understand while he still felt like he should have been able to understand them. His body felt big but his mind felt small and he couldn’t do anything about it as he just drifted.

“You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re safe with me. Oh I’m so happy you’re handling this so well.” Antinous husked, “Such a brave little boy.”

Suddenly, it was like Antinous shoved him deep down into the water, far away from everything that was scary and confusing. Because Antinous was right, wasn’t he? He was safe. He was so brave. So good. He didn’t have to worry about any of the weird feelings because even if he didn’t have the words to understand, that was okay. He was okay.

Antinous would make sure of it.

“You feeling better?” Antinous asked, moving faster.

“Mhm.” Telemachus nodded, “Lots better. You feel so good inside me.”

“Aw, I’m glad. You feel good too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you do. And if you wouldn’t mind me touching your dick then I can make both of us feel even better. Is that okay?”

“Yep!”

“Such an enthusiastic kid. Just the way I like you.”

Telemachus giggled, though his giggle was cut off by a gasp as Antinous readjusted himself and wrapped a hand around his dick. He started to stroke his length to the pace of his thrusts and Telemachus’ toes curled from the added stimulation. Antinous had absolutely been right that it would make things feel better for him and based on the noises Antinous made it seemed to really make things better for both of them. It felt almost hypnotizing as Antinous fucked him at the quick but steady pace he did, combined with moving his hand at that same speed. But keeping Antinous’ praise in mind, he was able to feel relaxed, or at least as relaxed as he could be with the pleasure that was building inside of him. He could feel the tightness in his core forming once again and while part of him wanted to last longer, he also wanted to finally get the release he hadn’t gotten yet even after having been told how good it would feel.

“‘Tinous.” Telemachus exhaled breathlessly.

“I’m right here, kid. I’m right here.” Antinous panted, “Fuck, I’m not going to leave you. Never. You’re all mine.”

“‘Tinous!”

“I’ll make sure you always feel so good, little wolf. I’ll keep you safe and happy and filled with all the warm, good weird feelings. That’s what you want, right?”

Telemachus could only whimper as the tightness in his gut hit the point where it had before that made Antinous stop. And Antinous wasn’t stopping.

“Little boys like you should never have to worry about how they feel. And I know exactly how to make you feel all the best things. No one else can claim that, Telemachus. My Telemachus. And they never will. You’re never going to leave me, kid. Not after this. Not after doing this for me. Not after being such a good boy for me.”

Telemachus cried out as the tightness burst and he came all over himself and Antinous’ hand. Antinous slowed the pace of his hand around his dick, but was still fucking into him at a constant pace. Telemachus squirmed slightly, whining from the continued stimulation.

“Bad weird. Bad weird.” Telemachus managed.

Antinous quickly slowed his thrusts before coming to a stop, though even having him still inside him felt strange and uncomfortable even though it had just felt so good.

“Do you want me to stop?” Antinous asked, voice so kind and understanding.

“Please.” Telemachus said with a nod, “I…I’m sorry. You didn’t get to finish.”

“It’s okay. Your comfort is more important to me.” Antinous said as he pulled out, pausing for a moment as he looked him up and down, gently rubbing Telemachus’ thigh with one hand, “Though, if you’re okay with it, I can always just use your thighs to finish. That way I’ll still get to feel you without it feeling a bad kind of weird for you. How does that sound?”

Telemachus thought for a moment, feeling how Antinous’ hand felt on his thigh and also not wanting to leave Antinous wanting, before nodding.

“That sounds okay!” Telemachus said with a chipper smile.

“You’re too fucking good for me.” Antinous husked.

Telemachus saw the way Antinous looked at him change to that weird look for a moment again, but he was just happy to see his Antinous so happy. He watched as Antinous poured the last bit of oil in the vial into his hand before scooping some of the cum off of Telemachus’ stomach and using that –and the cum in his hand– to slick up Telemachus’ thighs. With that done, he moved Telemachus’ legs and Telemachus held them up the way Antinous positioned them as Antinous pushed his dick between them, letting out a heavy exhale. Antinous was quick to get back to the pace he was at and even if Telemachus wasn’t technically doing anything, it was weirdly fun to see Antinous’ dick move in and out of his thighs, especially as Antinous left soft kisses along his thighs, occasionally mouthing at the skin but never looking like he was going to bite him like he had before. It didn’t take long before his thrusts started to get inconsistent and he moaned out Telemachus’ name as he came on his torso and thighs. After giving a few last thrusts, he let one of Telemachus’ legs flop down onto the bed –Telemachus softly giggled at the way it limply bounced– but held the other up, leaving a trail of kisses along his calf down to his knee and his thigh before getting low enough to leave a soft peck on the tip of Telemachus’ still slightly sensitive feeling dick. Telemachus sharply gasped at the feeling which just made Antinous chuckle.

“You’re a meanie.” Telemachus muttered, trying his best to look serious.

“Mmm, those are some harsh words.” Antinous said, still amused.

“Well it’s true.”

“Oh really?” Antinous asked as he sat up properly, “Well then I guess there’s no point in asking how this all felt as I’m sure it must have been awful.”

Telemachus’ face flushed and he looked away, not wanting to admit that it was good so easily. But he couldn’t exactly hide his enjoyment as Antinous moved over him and gently moved his face to look at him and kissed his nose.

“I’m going to get a cloth to clean you up. But I’ll be right back.” Antinous said, starting to sit up again.

“Don’t go!” Telemachus quickly said, grabbing Antinous’ arm, sitting up with him.

“Hey, you’ll be okay.”

“I…I wanna be close to you.”

“And you will be. As soon as you’re nice and clean. We wouldn’t want to cuddle when you’re all sticky, right?”

Telemachus pouted but Antinous looked unconvinced, just sighing with a smile instead of laying down with him like he wanted him to.

“If I take too long then I’ll do whatever you want when I get back.”

“Hmmm I think you’ll do that regardless.” Telemachus said with a slight smirk.

“Oh? And why is that?” Antinous asked with a smile, tilting his head slightly, curiously.

“Because you love me!” Telemachus laughed.

“I have no idea why you’d ever think that.” Antinous said, tone and face suddenly going flat.

Telemachus’ grip on Antinous’ arm loosened, sliding down and letting him go. Antinous gave him a kiss on the cheek before getting up and out of bed, leaving the room.

Leaving him alone.

Leaving him.

Telemachus fidgeted with his hands as he looked around the room. It was so quiet. So empty. So big. But even as Telemachus pulled his legs up to his chest, it didn’t help him feel any more comforted. The feeling of sticky cum on his stomach and between his thighs made his stomach churn and he felt a tightness in his heart as his breathing started to become shaky.

Antinous couldn’t have meant that, right? He loved him. Telemachus knew he loved him. He told him so many times and had done so much. He put so much time and care into him because he did care about him.

But then why did he say that? Why would he say that he didn’t know why Telemachus would think he’d love him? They had been together for so long. They had loved each other for so long. It had to have been a joke. The idea felt like a joke. But he had said it so easily, like he had said it a hundred times before. And maybe he had and Telemachus just couldn’t remember. But as he tried to wrack his brain to think of any instance of when he had said it before, all he could think about were little signs that maybe he really didn’t love him. Because who would actually love him without having some obligation to? With all of his issues, with how high-maintenance he was, with how much he acted like he needed…why would Antinous actually love him?

So had he just been lying to him, using him? After all, the only time that Antinous had said that he loved him all night was when he was getting Telemachus to do more with him. And sure it was fun and something they both wanted to do, but it felt suddenly clear that Antinous wanted to do them so much more than Telemachus did, or at least he had different reasons to. He found Telemachus cute, like just a little kid. One he could control and use and trick oh so easily.

Telemachus didn’t want to be tricked.

He just wanted to feel safe.

He just wanted to feel small.

He just wanted Antinous.

Telemachus pulled his legs as close to his chest as he could, resting his face on his knees as he started to cry. He didn’t know why he was crying and he wished he could stop but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop his tears, he couldn’t get his thoughts to be quieter, he couldn’t make everything less scary. He couldn’t do anything. That’s why he had Antinous, to help him. But would Antinous help him? Would he even return at all? Maybe that’s why he left instead of cuddling with him even though every part of him just wanted to be held. Everything was so confusing and he was scared and all the thoughts in his head were just getting louder and louder and louder and-

Something was just about to touch him and he instantly jolted back, feeling his head hit something hard. His heart was still pounding and he had to blink the tears out of his eyes to see that Antinous was standing there, rubbing his jaw.

“Shit.” Antinous swore, mildly pained, before looking at Telemachus and a wave of guilt seemed to crash over him as he let out a heavy exhale, “Shit.”

Antinous laid a damp cloth he was holding over the headboard and started to reach for Telemachus, but then stopped.

“Can I touch you?”

Telemachus was hesitant, but regardless of how Antinous felt he still wanted to be close to anyone. So, he nodded.

“Can I get a verbal response?”

Telemachus opened his mouth, but no words came out. He tried to speak, he wanted to speak, but he just…couldn’t. So he shook his head, feeling a sense of shame flicker in the back of his mind as his chest already felt like it was aching.

“That’s okay. I’m just going to touch your arm.”

Telemachus nodded again and Antinous sat on the bed and gently ran a hand up and down his upper arm comfortingly. Telemachus longed to get so much more than that but he still felt so hurt and confused by what Antinous had said.

“Did you get scared because you were all alone?”

Telemachus couldn’t exactly explain everything since his body just refused to cooperate, so he just nodded again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take so long.” Antinous apologized, his voice sounding so comforting and genuine, “I forgot to make sure there’d be warm water and I thought that cool water might make you uncomfortable. And after how much you’ve done tonight, I didn’t want to have that. And on the note of uncomfortability, how about I get you nice and cleaned up?”

Telemachus nodded again, unwrapping his arms from around his legs –if he had been left alone any longer he might have accidentally hurt himself if the fingernail indents on his arms were any indication– and leaning back slightly as he stretched his legs out. It felt weird as Antinous wiped him down, but it felt nice to be taken care of so tenderly and it did help him feel less gross. Once Antinous finished, he set the cloth aside and gave Telemachus’ leg a light, encouraging squeeze.

“Alright, now you’re all set. Do you still want to cuddle?”

Telemachus nodded and shifted closer to Antinous, Antinous affectionately chuckling and pulling Telemachus close, laying them both down. Telemachus nuzzled into Antinous’ chest, letting the man surround him with his warmth and comfort. Even if his kindness just made things more confusing, it didn’t change the fact that it felt nice.

Whether he wanted it to or not.

“How are you feeling?” Antinous eventually asked after some amount of time that Telemachus hadn’t noticed passed.

“I…don’t know.” Telemachus weakly said, finding himself able to talk again, even if he couldn’t use his voice well.

“Well, can you tell me if being alone was the only reason why you were crying?”

“It wasn’t.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Part of Telemachus didn’t want to, but he also had to know what he was supposed to think. So he curled up more, feeling the tears coming back to his eyes as he made himself say the words he couldn’t decide if he wanted to or not.

“Do you…do you really not love me?”

Antinous loosened his hold on Telemachus and Telemachus could feel the man’s eyes on him, but he didn’t look up.

“Tele, what do you mean?”

“You- you said that- that you didn’t know why I’d think that you, um, that you love me.” Telemachus stammered, tears falling down his face.

“Oh fuck,” Antinous softly swore before gently holding Telemachus’ chin and lifting his head to make him look at him, “Telemachus I am so sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“Well, it’s something that I’ve said to you a few times before when you’re bigger. Normally you just laugh it off so I thought that you feeling smaller wouldn’t…I shouldn’t have made a joke like that. Maybe I am a bit of a meanie sometimes. But that doesn’t excuse anything. I’m truly, deeply sorry.”

“Does that mean that you do love me?”

Antinous smiled down at Telemachus and softly kissed his cheek.

“More than you will ever know, my Telemachus.”

Telemachus smiled back as best he could and wiped his eyes, having to use his wrists as that felt safer and easier to do.

“I love you a bunch too, ‘Tinous.”

“Gods you’re such an adorable little wolf pup.” Antinous chuckled.

Antinous peppered Telemachus’ face with kisses, making him laugh and lifting his mood again. Even when Antinous stopped and looked at him, Telemachus couldn’t help but smile, feeling himself get slightly flustered as he glanced down at Antinous’ lips.

“Can I, um, kiss you?” Telemachus asked.

“Aw, of course you can, my little prince.”

Telemachus wiggled slightly out of excitement then moved up, pressing his lips against Antinous’, one of Antinous’ hands moving to hold the side of his face, not taking control of the kiss but just helping him. Telemachus didn’t exactly know what he was doing, but was still trying his best to do a good job at actually initiating something for once. And when he pulled back from the kiss, he could see the look of almost pride in Antinous’ eyes.

“Was that okay?”

Antinous pulled Telemachus close, letting him nuzzle into his chest again, kissing the top of his head.

“Everything you do is perfect.”

Telemachus felt an almost giddy joy inside of him and he pressed himself as close to Antinous as he could, Antinous holding him just tightly enough.

“You’ve had a long day, Tele. Do whatever you need to get nice and comfy.”

“And you’ll still be here when I wake up, right?”

“On the gods above and below I swear that I will.”

More than content with that answer, Telemachus let out a long exhale, relaxing. Antinous did have to shift slightly to pull a light blanket over them, but once that was done they were both able to lay still in the calm quiet, Telemachus being soothed by the sound of Antinous’ heartbeat. He closed his eyes and let his breathing slow as he felt his body grow heavier and heavier.

“I’m very excited to talk to you when you’re feeling big again in the morning.” Antinous whispered, “But I will always love you, no matter how you feel. Because it’s every part of you that I love.”

Even in his increasing tiredness, Telemachus was able to smile at that, having no doubt in his mind that he meant that. And as he fell into Hypnos’ grasp, feeling more relaxed than he had in so long, he felt utterly and completely safe. But more than that, he knew that even when he felt normal, that fact would still be true.

And that was the most precious information he could ever have.