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The What Not To Do List for the Phantomhive Household:
1. Don't ask for devilled eggs…..it's not funny.
2. Don't put any of Madame Red's clothes in the wash with Sebastian's shirts…..even though he would probably look adorable.
3. Don't let Grell go into detail about his plans for his day with Sebastian…..the ratings just aren't high enough.
4. Two words: Lol. Cats. Sebastian's not ready for it.
5. No more saying: "Arrrgh me hearty!" every time Ciel walks into the room.
6. Don't set up Finny and Angela up on a date.
7. In fact. Don't set up anyone on a date with Angela.
8. Don't allow Bard access to flame-throwers…..we all know he is a pyro.
9. Same goes for bazookas.
10. And for machine guns.
11. And for…..Okay. You get the idea. Bard + Weapons = BAD IDEA.
12. Don't get one of those ladders with wheels on the bottom…..Mey-Rin has enough problems.
13. No plastic cutlery…..We have our reasons.
14. No paper plates…..Same reasons.
15. No. Ciel does NOT slap Sebastian because of sexual frustration…..Stop asking.
16. No giving Grell haircuts…..He has a chainsaw.
17. NO Grell giving anyone makeovers.
18. Absolutely NO posting Grell's make-up tutorials on You-tube.
19. Scratch that. No posting ANYTHING on You-tube.
20. No computer chair rides.
21. NO trolley rides. You SAW what happened with Grell.
22. Don't watch 'Devil wears a Prada' and looking meaningfully at Sebastian.
23. Do NOT ask Sebastian about his stripper heels. Just. Don't.
24. No watching 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'….Grell's self-control is weak.
25. No going to see 'Pirates of Penzance' and pointing at Ciel. His self-control is even worse than Grell's.
26. Don't keep telling Bard that his name spells 'Drab' backwards. Remember what I said about the weapons…
27. No getting Sebastian to dress Ciel in a corset…..No matter how hot it would look.
28. Don't let Pluto walk around nude rubbing against people(especially Sebastian)…..We don't want to drown because of Mey-Rin's nosebleed.
29. Never let Finny get his hands on Ronald's lawnmower…..sorry. Death scythe.
30. Or Williams, for that matter.
31. Stop trying to steal the Undertaker's hat.
32. Same goes for Grell's glasses. *cough*chainsaw*cough*
33. And for Ciel's mini stick…..oh. Wait…..did that sound weird?
34. No taking Pluto to the pound. No matter what Sebastian says.
35. No getting strays from the pound. No matter what Sebastian says.
36. No putting Grell in the pound. No matter if Sebastian offers to screw you.
37. No getting Ciel a parrot from the pound…..do pounds even have parrots?!...nevermind.
38. Do not give aforementioned parrot to Finny…..the kid just doesn't know his own strength.
39. 'Pirates of the Caribbean' is NOT Ciel's theme song.
40. Nor is 'Highway to Hell' Sebastian's…..even if it should be.
41. And don't even THINK about 'Sexy and I know it' for Grell.
42. No drinking Tanaka's tea…..seriously. The dude needs it.
43. No trying to prise open Lau's eyes…..Ranmao will kill you in your sleep.
44. Don't tell Sebastian to "Go do yo thing" every time they pass a convent…..he doesn't need encouraging.
45. Never introduce Grell to Lindsay Lohan…..Diva sparks will fly.
46. Don't buy any creepy puppets…..They're still recovering.
47. No calling Ciel 'little robin'…..or do you want to take Viscount Druitt's place at the top of Ciel's hit list?
48. No randomly singing 'God save the Queen' or yelling "Hello, your Majesty!"…..Ciel is still in shock from the Curry Festival.
49. No prank letters pretending to be the Queen.
50. NO GANGNAM STYLE. NO. NOT HAPPENING.