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Chapter Text

Tony takes a deep breath and finally hits record. It takes him a few agonizing moments to start saying what he’d rehearsed. “So if you’re watching this, I’m probably dead. Because if the mission goes well tomorrow, the first thing I’m gonna do is erase this recording.” He winces. He’s already off script. This is just a precaution, like the one he’d deleted when he actually made it back alive from space. For the second time. He hadn’t had a chance to record anything when he flew through the wormhole hanging over New York City, but he’d been trapped on that floating hunk of junk with Nebula for more than two weeks. And in the morning he was going to travel back in time to New York City in 2012 and steal a couple of Infinity Stones. So. A message. Just in case.

“My will is very legally binding and specific, so I’m not going to mess with that. But what we’re doing tomorrow is crazy and dangerous and I guess I just wanted a chance to say some things, in case I don’t make it back.” Tony runs a nervous hand through his hair and takes another deep breath. “I know it isn’t something I’m supposed to say, but fuck it I guess, since I’m dead you guys can’t be mad at me. If someone doesn't get to come back tomorrow, I hope it's me. I hope everyone is sitting on the couch and sad as hell about it, but if one of us has to go to win, I want it to be me.”

Tony thinks back to the look Dr. Strange gave him when he said there was only one scenario where they won, and if Tony is right, he knows what he has to do.

“Rhodey, I’m sorry I let the end of the world split us up. I should have been a better friend, not just hid in my cabin trying to find some magical fix. You were out there trying to maintain some kind of order, and I was in my lab talking to a couple of robot arms.” He’d come back from space with a new alien friend and an anger he couldn’t shake, one he didn’t want to touch the lives of the people he still cared about. He’d isolated. Tried to invent time machines and Thanos killers and hell, he’d even tried to learn magic. The magic part had been a particular low point. He’d just drunkenly sat there and tried– no help, no books, no guide, just waving his hands like Strange had and begging the universe to make something happen. Anything.

“Happy. Take care of yourself. And if we are successful, take care of the kid for me. He likes you.” Tony’s voice cracks. “And Peter, if you’re there, I’ve left you a full ride for any school you want to go to and an internship when you’re ready. No fussing about the money. Take it and tell Happy and Pepper thank you and be the hero none of us could be. You’re the best of us, kid, and god, if you aren’t there I’d better be dead.”

Tony almost pauses the recording, but if he stops now he won’t finish. So he wipes the leaking moisture from his eyes and keeps talking.

“Pep. I know I’m leaving things in good hands. You’ll take care of my baby for me. The business, I mean. Money can finally exchange hands. There is no secret Stark kid out there to swoop in and inherit the fortune, I know a lot of you have placed various bets on it.”

He sits. He’s nervous. “Fuck, Pepper, I’m just so sorry. I promised not to die on you, but that’s just one more promise to you I’m gonna have to break.” He’d tried so hard not to be Iron Man for her, promised to get the arc reactor removed, along with the shrapnel. But he’d rescheduled the surgery again and again, and after the third time he chickened out Pepper had said ‘the suit or me.’ And all of that metal was still in his sternum nearly eleven years later. “It was never gonna work between us, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have regrets. You were always out of my league. I’m just glad for the time we had and that we called it off before it ruined our friendship for good.” They were never quite as close after the breakup, but Pepper and Rhodey were still his only family. He’d love them forever.

Who was left? He’d made a list. Where was the list? Well fuck.

“Cap. I don’t forgive you. My death doesn’t make us square, but don’t let it torture you, either. You don’t get to use me to be a martyr or whatever bullshit you’re guilting yourself into right now.” The anger Tony felt building disappears in a sad little shudder. “We could never get on the same page, huh? Always just a few steps out of synch. I hope I saved your ass and died a tragic, heroic death, and I’m the only reason you got your people back. And you’ll spend the rest of your super soldier life thinking about the what ifs. Fuck. FRIDAY, delete that last sentence. No wait, don’t. I meant it.”

Tony looks directly into the little camera on his desk. “Mourn me, maybe put up a couple of cool statues, and then move on. But never forget, all of you, that I’m the one who invented time travel. I’m the one who saved the goddamned universe. And when the next Thanos shows up, I guess you guys are screwed.” He turns the recording off and kicks his chair across the room.

“Boss,” FRIDAY says, “Captain Rogers is outside. Should I let him in?”

He hears a knock and Cap’s muted voice through the door. "Tony? Is this a bad time?”

“Fuck!” Tony steps towards the fallen chair, pauses, fixes his hair, and takes another one of those deep breaths that don’t seem to really do anything. “Ugh, let him in before he thinks something is wrong.” Of course Steve is here. Now. Tony is still rolling the chair back to its proper place at his desk when the door opens, and he doesn’t bother to turn around. He knows what Steve looks like.

“Hey.” Captain America’s voice isn't meant to sound unsure, but it does. "I just wanted to…” He trails off and sighs deeply. “I just wanted to thank you. In case we don't get to say it later.”

“Oh?” Tony keeps his tone clipped but casual. He’s keeping his cards plastered to his chest. He moves the chair a couple of inches to the right, and then a few to the left. “Is that all?”

“Jesus, Tony. Can you just look at me for thirty seconds, so I can get this off my chest? Then I promise I’ll leave you alone until the mission.”

Tony whips around, hands shaking now that they aren’t holding on to anything. “Oh how terribly gauche of me to inconvenience Captain America for five fucking seconds. Oops, sorry ‘bout my language, Cap.” How is he supposed to remain calm and rational when everything Steve says just sets him off?

He catches Steve just as his expression hardens. He rushes his way through a speech he clearly rehearsed. “Thank you for not giving up. When I came to you with Scott Lang, you had every right to say no, but you didn't. You showed up, and you made it happen. This is all because of you, so thanks.” He turns stiffly on his heel to leave. “That was it.”

Oh, godammit. Tony really is the biggest asshole on the planet.

“Wait!” They can’t leave things like this. Not when Tony isn’t planning on coming back. “Steve, I’m just being a dick. Don’t- don’t storm out.”

“I wouldn't want to inconvenience you, Mr. Stark,” Steve says. He sounds extremely bitter, but he does turn back around.

He looks tired. Tony can’t recall Captain America ever looking tired. There’s a weariness around the eyes, a slump to his shoulders.

“What are we doing?” Tony says, feeling every fucking year of his life all at once. “Why are we like this?”

“If we knew, we’d probably have fixed it by now.” Steve lowers himself into a chair, and stares at his hands, like he’s miles away. Or maybe it's years.

“Jeezus,” Tony laughs. It sounds dry and sad. “I’d blame it on the alcohol but I’m two and a half weeks sober. Come to think of it, that’s probably not helping with my attitude problem at all.” He hasn’t had a drop since Steve showed up on his perimeter cameras and Tony did a shot for courage before opening his front door.

“Probably not.” Steve doesn't smile exactly, but the corner of his mouth turns up just a little. “When this is all over, I think we deserve a vacation.”

“FRIDAY, when we get back, book this man as many tickets as he wants to wherever he wants. He deserves to sit on a beach and drink something with an umbrella in it.”

“I think I’m more of a quiet cabin and a book kind of guy. What did Sam call it? A staycation?” Steve huffs a little laugh. “But I’m only going if you promise to take a break too.” He almost sounds normal when he brings up Sam Wilson. Almost.

“Oh, I’m retiring.” Tony hasn’t told anyone else, and has no plans to. He doesn’t want to hear anyone’s opinions on the matter. Not when there’s so little time left. So why is he telling Steve? “This is my last flight, so to speak.”

Steve looks up at him, surprised. It's the first time in a long time they’ve held eye contact this long. He looks like he’s searching Tony’s face for an answer. He finally smiles, but it really just highlights how damn tired he looks. “That's great, Tony. That's really great. I'm sure Pepper is thrilled.”

Ouch. Tony feels himself closing off and he can’t seem to do anything about it. “It’s back to the lab for me, I guess. About a decade too late for her liking. But I’m not taking the company back. I just want to tinker in my lab and hang out with my robots.” Lies. All lies. He’s gotten pretty good at them these days. “The stocks will finally settle. She deserves that.”

“You should settle down, too. I've heard you get used to it after a while.” Steve stands. “Well, I’d better at least pretend to get some sleep. If this is your final flight, I’m glad I get to see it.”

Settle down? Tony wants to scream. With who? Pepper was happy. He couldn’t fuck that up again. His playboy days were long over. There had been a moment, just a moment, in between his breakup and the fall of SHIELD where there might have been the faintest spark of something. But that had been extinguished by Steve’s past coming back to haunt him. There’s no one, and that’s fine. It’s useless to cry about what can't be. He forcefully swallows the venom building in his throat and tries to smile. It probably looks as tired as Steve’s.

“Let’s just take things one step at a time. Eggs and hatching and all that.”

For a second it looks like Steve might put a hand on his shoulder, but he doesn't. “It's going to work, Tony.”

“Oh, It’ll work. I built it. But we still have to pull off six separate heists.”

“It's going to work.” He says again, in that stupid, sincere way he always does. It drives Tony crazy that he almost believes it.

“I- thanks.” Steve is trying to trust Tony. With everything ahead of them, the least he can do is acknowledge it. “Just thanks.”

“We’re a team, right?” Steve turns to leave with a wave. “Hey, FRIDAY. Make sure he closes his eyes for a little bit, okay?”

“I’ll certainly try, Captain Rogers,” FRIDAY lilts from the ceiling.

Tony tries to say something else, anything. But he just stands there, frozen, as Steve leaves. He lingers for several minutes, second guessing all of his carefully thought-out plans, before finally making his body stagger over to the little couch in the corner of his lab. He curls up there and tries to get some sleep, but he never does. In the morning, he’s going to do the most selfish thing he’s ever done. One far-too-late thank you from Captain America isn’t going to change anything.

*****

The moment Steve sees the look on Tony and Scott’s faces, he knows something went wrong. His body still aches from falling a few stories in the fight against his younger self, but he made it out, scepter-in-hand.

The pair are sitting in a trashed car, in the decimated streets of New York City, looking just as defeated as their surroundings. Steve doesn't miss the fresh cut on Tony’s brow.

Tony sighs, already on the defense. Why is he always so defensive? “Give me a break, Cap, I just got hit in the head with a Hulk.”

Scott turns to Tony, slamming the car door behind him. “You said we had one shot. This. This was our shot. We shot it! It’s shot!” He sounds like he’s on the verge of a breakdown.

They bicker back and forth while Steve wracks his brain for a solution. Loki escaped with the tesseract, which is really bad news. Their plan hinges on three stones being in New York. Without the space stone contained inside the glowing cube, everything falls apart. Even if everyone else was successful, and they gathered the other five stones, it wouldn't be enough power to bring everyone back. To bring Sam back. To bring Bucky back.

Steve cuts them off mid-fight. “Are there any other options with the tesseract?”

Scott doesn't even wait for him to finish. “No no no! There’s no other options. There’s no do-overs, we’re not going anywhere else. We have one particle left. Each. That’s it, alright? We use that, bye-bye, you're not going home.”

Steve grimaces. "Well if we don't try, then no-one else is going home either.”

The list of names plays in his head. It's haunted him for five years.

Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximov, T’chala, Shuri, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Peter Parker, and the ones Steve didn't get to meet, like Steven Strange, or Rocket and Nebula’s family. Too many names. Too many people, lost.

Bucky Barnes.

“You need to get the Mind Stone back to the team. I have an idea of when there’s Pym Particles and the Tesseract in the same building.” Tony has that look in his eyes that means he’s found a solution and no one’s going to like it.

“What? I can’t just-“

“Scott,” Tony cuts him off, stepping into his space and turning on the charm. “If Cap and I don’t succeed, then we’ll be just as fucked as we are now. But none of that matters if you can’t deliver the scepter back to the team. Can you do that?”

“What? No!” Scott says, even as he takes the scepter when Steve offers it to him. "I can't leave you guys. Where are you going? When are you going?”

“Tony’s right.” Steve says. He thinks he knows what Tony’s getting at. "The most important thing is gathering the stones we do have. We can't risk losing it.”

The last time Steve and Scott worked together, Tony was on the opposing side. It's different this time.

“I trust him. We'll be back before anyone knows we’ve gone.” Steve shoots him his best Captain America smile.

Scott doesn't look entirely convinced, but he nods anyway. "Okay, Cap. Captain. Steve. Sorry, America. Rogers.” Someday he was going to have to get over the star-struck thing. “But look, if you do this, and it doesn't work, you're not coming back.”

Tony shrugs. “That was always the risk. We’re just rolling the dice an additional time. Get going, I’ll have Captain America back to you guys in literally no time.”

“Alright.” Scott concedes. “Good luck.” His time suit envelopes him. He hits the button on his wrist, and shrinks into nothing, with the scepter firmly in his grasp.

Steve turns to Tony with a frown. Something about that last statement doesn't sit quite right with him.

“So, New Jersey.” He raises an eyebrow. “Do you know the year?”

“Yeah, punch in what I tell you,” Tony nods and smiles, but his eyes never fully make contact with Steve’s. “Zero four, zero seven, one nine seven zero.” Tony hits numbers into his own device, but they aren't the same ones he’s given Steve.

Steve stops before the last digit, and drops his arms. “What are you not telling me?”

“What? Cap, that’s the date to get to the SHIELD facility in Jersey.” Tony sounds reasonable, but there’s a little crinkle around his eyes, and he still won’t look Steve in the face.

“So then where are you going, Tony?” Why did he always have to do this? They’d talked last night. They were on the same page, weren't they?

“You have your mission, and I have mine. All you have to do is get the Tesseract back. Why can’t you just do that?” All the facade crumbles as soon as Tony gets angry. He’s typing faster.

“That wasn't the plan. I thought we were doing this together.” Steve takes a quick step to close the distance and grabs Tony’s wrists. His instincts scream that he has to stop him from leaving.

“You don’t understand!” Tony panics the moment Steve touches him, thrashing in his grip, voice shrill. “Don’t! It’s the only way! A stable time loop was never going to work!”

“Then what have we been doing this whole time?” Steve feels anger roar to life inside him. The kind that only Tony can inspire. He holds tight. “Just stay here and explain it to me!”

“This isn’t the one! I saw his face right before he turned into dust! Something clued him in that the win condition was already gone! Goddammit Steve, I have to go back and make sure we go to that battle with different variables! You have to let me go!” He looks like he did in Siberia, wild-eyed and manic. Desperate.

No. Please no. This can't be happening.

“Who? Strange! Tony, you can't know that. We have to stick together. That's how we win! Bruce said we have to put everything back where it was. If you change things the timeline will branch and…” Realization dawns on Steve. "Damnit Tony! Are you seriously trying to run away?”

Tony snarls, “Oh, fuck you Steve!” He swivels his wrist, and tries to shoot a repulsor blast in his face.

Steve brings his shield up in time to block it, but he loses his grip on Tony’s wrist. Once free, Tony takes a step back, and Steve sees his hand moving towards the button, almost in slow motion.

He springs forward, hoping to knock him to the ground before it’s too late. He feels himself colliding with Tony, but they don't land on the street. There's a sensation, like hitting the big drop on a roller coaster, like your stomach might come out of your mouth, and then everything goes white.

*****

Tony’s in the suit. It’s an older model, heavy and not made of nano-tech. He’s flying through snowy trees at a breakneck pace, luckily on autopilot because otherwise he would be wrapped around a trunk and sliding into the snow.

“FRIDAY, report,” he barks, trying to determine what the fuck is going on. There’s an explosion behind him. Shouting. Combat. Where the fuck is he? Where’s the time travel suit?

“Sir, you have not installed FRIDAY into the Mark Forty Three,” the cool, clipped voice of JARVIS answers. “What do you require?”

“Oh fuck, JARVIS,” Tony sobs. It’s been so long since he heard his beloved first child. “Hey buddy, can I get a status report?”

“On the situation or your current state? Sir, your pulse and respiration are rapidly increasing.”

“Situation, Jarv,” Tony gasps and blasts a vehicle full of hydra goons. He knows when he is now, but why the fuck is he in his old suit? And where is Steve? He takes over the piloting systems and blasts off towards the Hydra compound.

“The team is making steady progress towards the compound and eliminating the ground assault teams. Sir, there appears to be an energy barrier surrounding-“

Tony is used to a far more advanced suit and when he tries to make a sharp turn to avoid the edge of the barrier, he beefs it and smacks into the invisible shield and goes careening into the snow. “Shit! Fuck!”

“Tony! What the hell is happening?” He hears Steve’s voice on the comm.

“Loki’s scepter must be here.” He hears Thor’s booming voice. "Strucker couldn't mount his defense without it. At long last!”

Language. Cap is supposed to say “language” there.

Oh shit oh fuck Future Steve is in Past Steve. That means Tony is somehow in Past Tony. Tony might be having a panic attack because he opens his mouth and says, “Gosh, Cap! Language!”

“At long last is lasting a little long, boys.” That’s Natasha.

There’s an explosion in the direction of the forest. “I think we’ve lost the element of surprise.” Clint always was a sarcastic bastard.

“This isn't over yet.” It would sound normal to the rest of the team, but he knows Steve is speaking directly to him.

“Not by a long shot.”

It's easy to bypass the shield when he already knows how to do it, and even easier to get into the lab. Tony knows exactly what he’s looking for, so he doesn’t bother. He also doesn’t step out of the suit and leave himself vulnerable to Wanda.

“JARVIS, mute my team comms on both ends and amplify the exterior voice from the helmet,” Tony orders as he heads into the lab where the Chitauri Leviathan corpse hangs from the ceiling and steps straight up to the sceptre. He takes a deep breath before he speaks. This was further back than he’d made plans for. He’d have to improvise and hope for the best.

“Wanda,” his voice echoes through the facility. “I know you’ve got quite the grudge built up, but I’d love to have a chat with you and your brother about your options, before you do anything you might regret later.” He just has to hope she’ll be curious enough to investigate and not go straight for the mind whammy again.

“Have you ever done anything you regret?” Wanda’s voice echoes through the room. It's cold, and hateful, and he can't tell where it’s coming from. He shudders a little when he thinks about the kind of power she wields, and is grateful she doesn't know what to do with it yet. “Do you even know what that feels like?”

“Wanda, I’ve got about a solid twenty years of nothing but regret,” Tony laughs, self deprecating and sad. He needs her to see that he really means it. “And another twenty of trying to do anything and everything I can to alleviate the guilt. It won’t ever be enough, I know that, but I can’t stop trying.” He’s left his whole life, his whole timeline, everything behind to try and make up for his mistakes. “Listen,” he reaches out with a gloved hand and takes the scepter down from its stand. “This grudge of yours, it's personal. Let’s deal with it like adults. There’s no need to drag all of my coworkers into it.” The last time he’d held the scepter, Tony was manic. Wanda’s magic had done a number on him. But this time he knows exactly what he’s holding. And he won’t make the same mistakes again. It can’t go to Asgard, and it can’t make Ultron.

“What could you possibly know about our grudge?” It sounds like she whispers it into his ear, but when he turns, there’s nothing there. Her cruel laugh rings around him. “Are you afraid yet Mr. Stark? Maybe we should see what you're really afraid of.”

“You know you could just ask,” Tony starts backing up towards the exit. He keeps the helmet up, but he has no idea if it will really protect his mind from her. “I’m terrified of being submerged in water. Waterboarding will do that to you. I’m terrified of space. It’s way too fucking big and full of things far more powerful than us.” He swears he can see a flash of movement in his periphery, but his sensors aren’t picking up anything. “I’m super duper terrified I’m going to be alone forever and it’s all my fault. It’s quite the list, I could keep going.”

“Why don't you show me?”

Tony feels a tap on the side of his helmet, and of course her brain bullshit goes right through the suit. Why wouldn't it?

He’s expecting it, so he thinks really hard about a specific memory. Sand. There’s so much sand. Shouting, screaming. He’s pressed against a ditch and there’s gunfire and explosions and screaming. Then, a whistling noise. A thunk. His own name staring back at him. A gift from old Uncle Obie. He stares at that missile for much longer than he did when it actually happened. It doesn’t explode so much as he’s suddenly sliding into a cave. The shouting is different this time, vicious and demanding, even though he can’t understand a word, and god, his sternum hurts. He clutches the car battery to his chest, begging an indifferent universe that when they stick his face back in the bucket of water none of it splashes on the battery. His head goes in, and suddenly he’s cold, staring up at an infinite sea of stars.

Tony shudders. He’s sitting in the Guardian’s ship, waiting to finally run out of oxygen, or maybe he’ll die of dehydration first. He isn’t sure which one is worse, but he’s just so tired. Maybe it’s a good thing. He lost, after all. Strange tried to tell him something before blowing away on the wind, and Tony just knows he’s failed. It’s over. He’d tried. Maybe he could just drift away as well.

When Tony opens his eyes again he’s back in Strucker’s castle. Wanda is standing across the room from him. Her brother tries to zip by her in a blur, but she holds her hand out to stop him, as if she could sense him coming. She regards Tony warily, before dragging Pietro away.

“Great chat!” Tony calls after her. “Let’s do it again sometime, okay?” He clutches the scepter tightly and charges up the stairs.

*****

“Clint’s hit!” Nat calls over the lines.

Before Steve can respond he’s knocked off his feet. Oh right. Pietro and Wanda were here.

“There’s enhanced on the field!” Steve says. "Two of them. One is super fast, and the other has some sort of mind power.”

Damn. He’s already changing things. It’s not like he can remember everything that happened in a battle he fought eight years ago! Once he gets to Tony he’ll figure out how to get them back to their own time, and none of this will have ever happened, but Steve still can't stand to let his team get hurt when he knows what’s coming. Everything they do here without a reliable way home risks creating a branch timeline, if he understood correctly.

“Clint’s hit pretty bad, guys! We’re gonna need evac.”

Steve runs into Thor. "I can get Barton back to the jet. The sooner we’re gone, the better. You and Stark secure the scepter.”

“Sure.” Steve resists rolling his eyes.

Tony’s been awfully quiet on the comms, probably going solo like he always does. Why did Tony want to come back this far? What was he planning?

Steve is too distracted. He almost takes a blast from a scepter-enhanced weapon right to the chest. Maybe unraveling Stark’s hair-brained scheme can wait until the shooting dies down. Once Thor has helped him take out a squad of Hydra soldiers, he flies off to pick up Clint.

They finish picking off the last of the Hydra forces. Eventually Nat asks him if she should go get Hulk. Steve almost forgot that they still had to babysit him at this point.

Then he’s off to the castle. He has to secure Strucker, who he knows is going to surrender. By the time he’s in hand, Steve still hasn't heard a peep from Tony. If his memory is correct, around this time was when Wanda started taking out the Avengers, but there’s no sign of her.

If he hurries, he might get some answers out of Tony before this whole situation goes to shit.

Tony’s voice comes over the comms. “Scepter acquired. We should book it.”

Moments later Steve sees Tony hurrying down the hall in his direction. The clanging of his suit is impossible to miss. It’s one of the older suits, but then again, Steve’s in his old suit too.

Steve reaches for the communicator in his ear and turns it off. The team is safe at the quinjet. They’ll be fine on their own.

“Tony, what the hell did you do?”

The faceplate slides open and Steve is looking at a much younger Tony. He hadn’t really noticed how much Tony has aged over the last few years until just now. “I have no idea!” Tony hisses. “This is your fault! This isn’t the time I punched in, and I have no clue where our bodies are!”

“I think it's pretty obvious we’re in our old bodies. I thought that wasn't supposed to be possible. How do we get back?” Steve frowns. It was already hard enough to follow all this time travel hogwash. Now it wasn't working the way they’d expected.

“Let me say this in a way you might understand: I have no fucking idea. What happened is incalculable. And since it’s already happened, unmeasurable. Now, can we walk and talk because if we stay too long Wanda might come back for seconds.”

Steve turns to move towards the exit. The authorities are there, taking Strucker and his men into custody. They won't have long. “So what are we supposed to do? You've already changed things.”

“Well unless you want me to fly back to the Tower and make Ultron again, there is no going back!” Tony grips the scepter tighter. “In the time it would take for me to build a quantum tunnel alone, it would be too late! We’re in a branched timeline now, anyway. There is no going back. Back doesn’t exist for us anymore!”

“That can't be true.” Steve stops dead in his tracks. “Tony, that can't be true. They need us! They have no way of getting the tesseract now!”

Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Nick Fury…

“That’s why you weren’t supposed to come!” Tony says far too loudly. Agents are noticing their fight. “This is our new timeline now. This is it.”

“Oh, like this is my fault?” Steve hisses. He’s trying to keep the volume down, but he’s furious. “That's rich Tony. That's real rich. If you had stuck to the plan we would be hugging our friends right now. You always do this! You always think you know better than everyone else.” He should stop. He should really stop. “How’d that work out with Ultron? How’d that work out in Siberia?”

Tony jerks like he’s been slapped. He stares at Steve for a long few moments, shock and hurt clear as day in his expression. “You want to be mad at me? Fine. Be mad at me, that seems to be your default. You may not like it, but our future is the past now. This is the new present. You can either get it together and help me save this timeline, or fuck off.”

With that, the helmet slides closed with a metallic snap and Iron Man’s voice comes over the comms. “I have the scepter but Thor, buddy, we’ve got a problem. I don’t think this thing is going to be safe on Asgard.”

Clint’s pained voice says “Guys, can we talk about this on the way?”

What else can Steve do in this situation? He follows Tony.

*****

Once Clint is set up on a gurney, with an IV drip to keep him stable, the Avengers take off. There’s a nervous energy that Steve doesn't remember, thanks to Tony’s announcement.

Steve isn't dumb enough to start telling everybody he’s from the future before he figures out what Stark is up to. He tamps down the rage and betrayal swirling around inside him, and tries to do whatever it was he did last time.

Tony is flying, because God-forbid anyone else gets to steer the ship. Literally or metaphorically.

There's an odd quiet amongst the team until they’re under way. Everyone waits expectantly. Thor is the first one to break.

“What have you learned, Stark?”

Steve wonders what bullshit Tony will come up with. There's no way he’s going to let an Infinity Stone leave his supervision.

“When I touched the scepter I saw something. No, I did not touch it with my bare hands and you're all welcome to check that my eyes are not blue. I’m going to call it a vision, despite how crazy that sounds, but I saw what I saw.” His performance is good. Steve wouldn’t second guess it, if he didn’t already know that Tony is lying. “There was a big room, lots of weird looking items on pedestals. The Tesseract was there, and the scepter next to it. Then Loki strode in and scooped both of them up.”

“Loki?” Natasha sounds incredulous from her perch next to Bruce. “He’s confirmed dead.”

“I have thought so before.” Thor says gravely. “But I saw his body with my own eyes.”

Steve resists the urge to scoff. The only way he would believe Loki had actually died was fighting Thanos.

“I don’t think it was pulled from my memories because Loki was wearing something different. Fancier? And he had a big spear-thing. It was gold.” Tony continues. “I’ll admit, Wanda Maximoff did something brain-screwy to me as well, but she didn’t arrive until several minutes after I grabbed the scepter.”

“A golden spear? Gungnir?” Thor looks sick to his stomach. A strange look on a God. "That spear belongs to the King of Asgard! It belongs to my father!”

Ah. So Tony was trying to convince Thor that the scepter was safer on Earth. If Steve remembers correctly, Loki was posing as his father on Asgard at this time. What year were they in again? It’s right before Ultron and Sokovia, so 2015.

“I don’t think it’s fake.” Bruce has his headphones around his neck. “Or at least, it isn’t a figment pulled from Tony’s mind. There’s too many new details that aren’t from Tony’s past experiences with Loki.”

“Gonna say I agree with Bruce on this one,” Tony calls back. “Especially when I compare it to what Wanda did. She basically dropped me in a speedrun collection of my worst memories. It was fast, and blurry at times, but it was all things I’ve already experienced.”

“Is that one of the enhanced? Wanda?” Clint coughs. “Cause when I get my hands on that speedy bastard…”

Steve winces a little. They didn't know Wanda and Pietro’s identities at this point.

“Well she introduced herself pretty thoroughly,” Tony quickly covers up his error. “Called the other one her brother. They seem to have some sort of personal grudge with me.”

Shocking. Who could possibly have any problem with The Great Tony Stark?

“If there is any possibility that my brother is alive, I must investigate at once!” Thor looks a little sad. "I thought he had truly changed in the end, but if your vision is true, he may be plotting to resume his campaign for Midgard.”

Steve can sympathize. He knows exactly what it feels like to think someone has changed for the better, and you finally learn to trust them again, only to get burned.

“Well, it can’t go to Asgard until we get this sorted out, and I’m not handing it over to a government,” Tony continues. “The last time we did that, they just immediately started using it to make weapons.”

“That wasn’t the government, that was Hydra.” Nat points out.

“And SHIELD." Steve speaks for the first time. He really ought to leave Tony to fend for himself after everything he’s done, but if there is still any hope of going home, he’s going to need Tony’s knowledge.

“And SHIELD, thank you, Cap.”

“Tony’s right,” Bruce stands and walks towards the cockpit. “It should stay with us, for now. We have time to decide what the right course of action is, here. Especially if those enhanced siblings want it, too.”

Well, Steve’s already come this far. He might as well keep up the act. Unlike Tony, he knows when to shut up and stick with the team.

“We’ll keep it safe for you, big guy.” Steve claps Thor on the shoulder.

“I shall leave for Asgard as soon as possible.” Thor says.

Steve looks at Tony. Is this what he wanted? Keep the scepter, and keep Thor out of the way?

“Keep in touch, and let us know if you need any help,” Tony looks up at Thor. “We’re here for you.”

“Likewise my friends!” Thor puts on a brave face, but he’s terrible at hiding his emotions. "I shall ask Heimdal to keep careful watch over Midgard while I am away.”

“Are you going to head out immediately? Or will you stay for the party?” Tony asks. “Maybe you should stick around until I can at least get a preliminary scan of the scepter, see what we’re dealing with.”

Thor looks a little dubious before he concedes. “This is a great victory we have won today. We should revel in the spoils.”

“Right.” Steve concludes. “We destroyed the last HYDRA base, captured Strucker, and reclaimed the scepter. That's something to be proud of.”

His team had done good work. They deserved to hear it from their leader, even if said leader felt totally lost, and way in over his head.

Tony nods in agreement, but doesn’t say anything else. His brow furrows as he concentrates on the flight controls. Steve has seen that look enough times to know that Tony is deep in thought. What is he planning? It’s so frustrating that he can’t just ask him outright.

When did things get so bad between them? Steve couldn't say for sure. They had been teammates, friends even. There was even a point when Steve felt like there could have been more, but they always ended up on opposite sides.

Steve really does have the worst timing when it comes to love.

*****

The asset is alone. He’s been alone for weeks now. He’s not meant to be alone, he’s not meant to be out of cryo this long. Normally he would be recalibrated after the mission and put back under, to wait for the next mission. This time, he did something he’s never done before. He failed.

Now he has nowhere to go. As best he could tell, Hydra was gone. Was it gone because he had failed, or had he failed because it was gone?

The asset wasn't made for finding answers, he was made for providing solutions. He had no need for thinking, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

He kept thinking about the man on the bridge. On the helicarrier. In the river.

Captain America, the museum exhibit told him. Steve Rogers. Everything there had felt a little familiar, like he’d seen it in a dream. Could assets dream?

There was another man in the exhibit. He carried the name that Captain America had called the asset. It was like looking in a mirror. But the Winter Soldier is not that man. He is an asset.

The asset needs to be recalibrated.

Chapter Text

It feels strange to be back at Avengers Tower. Steve hasn't been there in seven years, ever since the mess with the Sokovia Accords. For everyone else in 2015, they were just here yesterday.

The mood is a little low due to Clint’s injury and Tony's ‘vision.’ Helen Cho has already arrived and set up to treat him, but Steve isn't concerned about that. He already knows how it works.

He refuses to let Tony out of his sight, despite his efforts to dodge him. They pretend to ignore each other while Steve chases him from room to room. Talking to Dr. Cho, checking on Clint in the sick bay, talking about the mission in the common areas, pretending to listen to Maria Hill tell him about the Maximoffs. The whole time, Tony is just on the edge of his periphery.

There is no way Steve is letting him sneak off to work on some secret plan before he has answers.

“Fine! You wanna talk? Get in the lab.” Tony fumes and stomps into his personal lab. As soon as Steve follows him inside Tony goes over to his big interactive screen and starts pressing things. “JARVIS, lock down the lab. Level five. All new projects I’m about to start are only available to me and Steve.”

Every window in the lab turns pitch black and several monitors in various corners go dark. Tony continues to furiously gesture and move around files and folders and other technical things Steve can’t even begin to be able to identify.

“Now we can talk. Or yell. Not that I want to yell, but I will. If I have to.”

“I'm not here to yell,” Steve says. That doesn't mean he won't, he just hopes it won't come to that. “We’re in this mess together, so there’s a few things I need to know. Is there really no way to get back to our original time?”

“Short answer? No fucking way. If you consider the timeline we originate from as the prime timeline, what we originally did was just travel back in our own history with the intention of putting the stones back afterward and stabilizing the prime’s stream of time. Now that we’ve significantly altered events without an easy jump back to the prime timeline, we are firmly stuck in a branch timeline of our own. In the time it would take for me to make a new Time Machine, suits, and acquire Pym Particles, this timeline would branch further and further away from our own and any future we traveled to would be vastly different from the one we just left.”

It slams home for Steve what a horrible mistake they've made. Their timeline will never be able to undo the damage Thanos did. He imagines what might have happened when the rest of the Avengers returned from the time heist, next to the empty spots where he and Tony were supposed to be.

He doesn't bother to hide the grief in his voice “So what was this for?”

“What was this for?” Tony whips around to glare daggers at him. “I don’t know, Steve! This isn’t the date I punched into my suit! This wasn’t the plan at all, I’m just improvising.”

“Well, you were clearly trying to get to a branch timeline. Are you going to leave me here– in the dark– to tell everyone I'm from the future? That the Steve they knew is just gone, and I'm his older, more cynical replacement? If we really are stuck here, we need each other. I need to know what your plan was.”

“Whoah there cowboy,” Tony goes right back to his screen. “If you tell people we are from the future you will knock this timeline so far off course that we will never be able to steer it towards a favorable outcome. We will be bombarded day and night with questions about every moment of the last decade of our lives. Everyone will second guess every decision they make forever. The team will never be able to face Thanos like that.”

“So that's what you wanted? A rematch with Thanos?” When Tony doesn't respond right away, Steve takes it as a yes. “If we really are stuck here, we need to be on the same team. I'm not the type to just sit around and let bad things happen. So what was the plan?”

“The plan is no Ultron. The plan is no Zemo. The plan is keeping as many enhanced individuals on the team as possible. Maybe doing a roundup on stones before Thanos even has a chance to get them, but it will take me a few months to build a space ship on the sly.” He gestures to a bunch of things on the screen. “Hey JARVIS, I need you to go full scorched earth on everything related to the Ultron project. I want it wiped off the face of the planet and the internet.”

Steve isn't that surprised that Tony would prefer to go back and erase his past mistakes than try to fix things in the future, but it still hurts that he was going to quietly leave him and the rest of their friends in a timeline he thought was doomed to fail.

“When were you aiming for if you didn't want to be here?”

Tony sighs, deep and troubled. “I was going to appear to myself shortly before the Avengers mission in Lagos. Iron Man would come out of retirement, feed the Avengers the information about Rumlow and the bomb, and the Sokovia Accords would never be born. I’d become the guy in the chair, building the things we’d need to gather the stones and thwart Thanos.”

“So now you have a stow away, you’re further back than intended, and we replaced our past selves.” Steve concludes. He wants to focus on what he can do now, but he can't stop thinking about the mission that failed. The friends they abandoned.

Steve leans his hip against a table and closes his eyes. It's a lot to take in.

“I know we’re alone here, and I know you have good intentions for this timeline, but Tony, how am I supposed to trust you? You don't even want to tell me what's going on now.”

Tony stops what he’s doing and just stands there for a moment. When he turns around he just looks sad, like all the fight has gone out of him. “I don’t know, Steve. I really don’t know. I’m trying, I’m really trying here, to figure out how I’m supposed to trust you. I want to. I just.” He shudders. “I don’t.”

Steve knew. Deep down, he knew that Tony didn't trust him, no matter how hard Steve had tried to pretend like they were fixing things. But surely saving half the population of the universe was more important.

“Let's have a truce.” Steve offers. “Let’s both try to get our bearings and take it easy. As long as Ultron isn't coming online tomorrow after the party, I’m willing to lay low. We can figure out what the hell we’re doing after that. Sound fair?”

“It does.” Tony walks over to a cabinet. “I don’t want to do this by myself. We’ll get through the party. That will give me some time to brainstorm and adjust my plans.” He pulls out a bottle of whiskey and puts it on the counter. “Can you do something with that? I don’t care what, I just don’t want it here anymore.”

“Yeah.” Steve grabs it on his way out. “I'm sure Thor can have it gone in ten minutes. You gonna make it to movie night, or hole up here?” Steve already knows the answer, but he’s not sure how else to end the conversation.

“I-“ Tony hesitates. “I wish I could be the movie night guy.”

He used to be, but Steve keeps that thought to himself.

*****

Tony has a second chance, and all of the Avengers are alive and here, but he still isn’t able to make himself enjoy the party. Sure, he puts on a smile and chats to people in his lovely suit with an empty glass in his hand, but his mind is making plans. Suits. Contingencies. Lists. He knows Steve knows, and he knows Natasha has picked up on something. But all he can do is try to shove the Party Tony mask on harder, to no avail.

Thor isn’t his usual boisterous self either. His mind is on Asgard, on the hasty vision Tony made up in a desperate attempt to keep the scepter in his possession. God, how was he going to tell Steve they needed the Vision? How was he going to make the Vision again in the first place? Would they let him? There were too many variables. They’ve jumped too far back.

Sam and Clint sidle up on either side of Tony. Oh no.

“So,” Sam starts, using his therapist voice, “I thought you and Steve agreed about the scepter-thingy.”

“We do,” Tony insists.

“Then what the hell are you two fighting about this time?” Clint asks, bemused.

“Oh, he gets mad that I hog all the sheets,” Tony quips, hoping to imply that their argument wasn’t serious.

“Ha!” Clint lets out a chuckle. “That does sound like you!” Then he gives Tony a sharp, knowing sort of look. Damn secret agents. “Well, Iron Man. If it’s no big deal you should really lighten up. This is supposed to be a party. We took down Hydra! Pretend a little harder would ya?”

“How about next time I’ll get shot in the leg and you have a witchy nightmare trip?” Tony tries to keep it light, teasing. He spent five years holed up in the middle of the woods and he’s lost all his charm.

“The side, Tony!” Clint takes the bait. He slaps Tony playfully on the shoulder. “I got shot in the side! Dr. Cho saved my life. I'm tempted to ask her to marry me.”

“No you aren’t,” Tony scoffs, and then realizes his mistake. He’s not supposed to know about Clint’s family yet. “She’s clearly into Thor. You, my friend, do not have the shoulders.”

Clint turns to Sam. “Wilson! Be honest! Do I have a chance?” He holds his arms out wide and turns in a little circle.

“None of us have a chance when Thor’s around.” Sam shakes his head in mock sorrow.

“Eh, screw you guys. I'm going to the bar.” Clint gives up. “Tony, you need another one?”

“Nah, I’m trying to slow down,” Tony shrugs. “My liver doesn’t want to keep up with me these days.”

“How responsible,” Sam gives him a big smile. “Good for you!”

“Eh, we’ll see if I keep with it.”

Clint calls over his shoulder, “Dr. Cho can probably just grow you a new one!”

“Count me in!” Tony calls, but can’t keep the joking up once Clint’s back is turned.

“Hey, whatever you saw, we’re here for you.” Sam really really means it. He’s so kind. Tony didn’t get to know him very well last time. But of course Steve’s new bestie would be perfect.

“Thanks. I’m just still a little…” Tony searches for the right word. Terrified. Alone. About to screw everything up all over again.

“I get it, man,” Sam tells him. “I mean, I don’t get it get it, but it’s okay to need time to process.”

Suddenly, there’s a hand on his shoulder that Tony would know anywhere. “Tony, man, you've got to save me. If I have to swap stories with Thor any more, I'm gonna go into retirement early. The man’s a monster!” Good old Rhodey, in his dress uniform, standing on his own two legs.

“Aww, Rhodeybear,” Tony beams and reaches up to pat his cheek affectionately. “Us mere mortals have got to stick together, huh?” He’d do better this time. In his old timeline Rhodey had really been his only friend left, and there had been such distance between them. Not this time.

“We really do,” he says. “I'm telling him about throwing a tank, and he’s telling me about accidentally starting a war between two 'realms’, which I found out today, means planets. I ain't built for this shit. Defending one planet is enough for me, thank you.”

“Yeah, never start a comparison of anything with Thor. It will not end well.”

“Isn’t he like an actual god?” Sam asks.

“Oh, do not get that debate started up here at my tower!” Tony pretends to scowl. “I feed you, I keep a roof over your heads, and you want to start the god argument back up? Haven’t we lost enough pieces of furniture yet?”

Rhodey changes the subject, but he keeps his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “You ought to keep this guy around.” He points to Sam with his wine glass. “You need a good Airman to keep things in order when I’m not here.”

“Well maybe you can convince him to take the lovely room I have set up here for him.” Tony says. Keeping Sam around would be beneficial, but it did mean Tony would need to chip in on a certain mission he just can’t make himself be excited about. It would go a long way to getting Steve to cooperate, though. “It’s just sitting there, fully furnished. And empty. All those luxury amenities gathering dust.”

“Trust me, I’d love to break my lease on my place in DC,” Sam says with a laugh. “Hopefully I’ll be done running around in the next few months.”

Rhodey tries to steer Tony towards the bar. “You should talk to some of these vet guys Steve invited. I'm sure they would love to hear some stories from the great Iron Man! It can be your community service for the month.”

“More than talking about the ‘good old days’ with Captain America? Yeah, right.”

Tony grumbles, but let’s Rhodey lead him off with a quick wave to Sam.

“Oh, Tony. What's the fight about this time? Hmm?” Rhodey looks right through him.

It’s about how they almost killed each other in Siberia and Tony can’t begin to figure out how to trust Steve again, despite going through the end of the world together, and despite the fact that they literally only have each other in this new timeline.

“I would need several hours and an entire bottle of whiskey to even begin to explain the fight this time.”

“Raincheck then,” He bumps shoulders with Tony. “But would you like some advice, from a guy who’s known you way, way, waaaaay too long?” He doesn't wait for Tony to answer. “You're used to dealing with people who have secret agendas, and hidden motives, and stakeholders to please. Steve is just about the most straight-forward guy you'll ever find. If he says something, it's ‘cause he means it.”

That was really good advice. He has to find a way to put the past behind them. They both want to. Now they just have to do it.

“Thanks for assuming I’m the problem,” he says, and he’s only half joking. Steve will always be a better man than he is. If he says he’s ready to try to trust Tony again, he means it.

“I never said that, ” His best friend chuckles. “but I’ve never seen two people disagree so much, despite wanting the same thing. Just think about that next time you’re ‘negotiating’ okay? Now, I gotta find some people who don't have super powers to talk to before my ego is too bruised to recover.”

He leaves Tony near the cluster of geriatric veterans bellied-up to the bar.

Steve is still on the same bar stool he’d sat at as soon as the party’d started. He’s spent the whole night avoiding the Avengers. Tony sighs. He would also like to hide, but neither of them really have that luxury at the moment. The least he can do is make sure the rumor about Steve and him fighting gets put to bed.

“Gentlemen,” Tony slides into the space just behind where Steve is sitting and puts on his Tony Stark smile. “I seem to have lost my Captain. Anyone seen him? He’s tall, Brooklyn accent, looks scarily good for his age.”

A man with white hair– who must be in his nineties– raises a hand. “Captain Lee, at your service, sir!” The whole group erupts into laughter, followed by a few coughing fits.

Steve smiles. He looks over the group with a painful sort of fondness. How many of these guys were still around eight years from now?

“Well, sir, I’m looking for a Captain Rogers, but if I can’t find him I’ll give you a call. You look like you're ready to get out there and punch some Nazis.” Tony turns to face Steve. “Oh! There you are, Steve! I hardly recognized you without the big honking star on your chest!”

Steve blinks at Tony– a little confused– but he plays along. “Yeah, I get that a lot. People confuse me and Lee all the time.”

That prompts another round of laughter as Lee’s buddies tease him relentlessly.

While they’re distracted Steve turns to Tony and asks quietly. “Everything okay?”

“No emergencies,” Tony assures him, “But the gang thinks we’re both acting weird and/or fighting.”

“Well, at least we know we have a smart team.” Steve sighs. “So what? You want to play nice for a little bit so everyone thinks we’re okay?”

Okay, Tony deserved that. Why was being genuine so goddamn hard for him? It’s probably the daddy issues. Tony frowns. “No, I want us to be nice. To each other. Actually.”

Steve starts to say something, then glances around them and shuts his mouth. It's getting late, and most of the vets are getting up and saying their goodbyes. Steve stands to see them out.

“I think I can do that.” He offers Tony a smile.

Oh god. Tony’s treacherous, electromagnetic heart skips a beat. He’s too fucking pretty when he smiles like that, which just makes everything they’ve been through hurt all over again. How is he supposed to do this? He takes a shaky breath and pulls himself together. “Good. Great.”

Before long, the rest of the party winds down, and just like the first time, only the Avengers and close friends are left. They sit around a coffee table sharing stories. When Steve joins the group he sits next to Tony on the couch, as if daring anyone to call them out.

“Oh thank god,” Nat comments. “I hate it when mom and dad are fighting.”

Tony doesn't miss the way Steve tugs at his collar, a little embarrassed.

“You guys have way too much free time. We don't need a formal inquiry every time Tony and I disagree on something. That’s why we have two leaders, right? Opposing viewpoints.”

“Yeah, but normally you two just have it out in front of everybody,” Natasha points out. “You guys snuck away. That’s way more suspicious.”

Bruce timidly takes the seat next to her on the couch, leaving a modest amount of space between them. “She has a point.”

“I put my foot in my mouth and poked at some old wounds.” Steve takes the fall. "We don't need to drag it out again. I thought we were having a party. Tony, weren't we having a party?” Steve looks at him expectantly.

“I mean, that’s what I thought, too. No juicy tidbits here, you vultures.”

“Boo. There’s a distinct lack of drama these days.” Natasha shifts so that she’s leaning in towards Bruce. Maybe they’ll have a shot of that going well this time around.

“Uh, uh,” Sam shakes a finger at her. “You’re gonna jinx us! Don’t say that!”

Steve laughs. Sitting next to each other, Tony can feel the couch shake a little as he does. "Nat, we just took down SHIELD and Hydra. Don't go looking for trouble.”

These Avengers don't even know what real team drama looks like, and hopefully they never will.

Eventually Barton brings up the hammer. Everyone gives it their best shot. Tony says something similar to last time and both he and Rhodey give it the old college try with their gauntlets on. Tony has seen enough magic bullshit that he doesn’t think it’s DNA anymore. But it still bothers him that he doesn’t know what the hammer quantifies as ‘worthiness’.

Bruce makes a half-assed attempt to turn into the Hulk while everyone rolls their eyes. Steve gets up, after much prompting, and rolls his sleeves up. He flexes his ridiculous biceps, and tries to lift it.

If Tony wasn't watching carefully, he would have missed it. Just as Steve begins to tug, the corner of the hammer lifts. It goes back down immediately, but Tony knows what he saw. Steve grunts and strains for a few more seconds, before giving up with a shrug.

Holy shit. Steve is worthy. Why is Steve worthy? No, Tony knows why. Of course Steve fucking Rogers can wield the stupid hammer. Of course.

It makes it all seem so stupid, in hindsight. The fighting, the lack of trust, the years of bitterness and regret. Tony is a stubborn, guilt-ridden asshole and Steve is able to wield the power of Thor, whatever that means. Tony sighs and desperately wishes he had a glass of whiskey in his hand. Sobriety and deep personal realizations do not go well together. Rhodey is right. They both want the same thing, but they can never agree on how to get there.

When Steve returns to the couch he’s all smiles, but his hands are shaking.

When they get to Natasha she declines. “Oh no, no. That's not a question I need answered.”

When Thor proclaims everyone unworthy they all boo.

The rest of the night goes well. There’s no Ultron to wreck things, and they chat and drink until everyone staggers off to bed in waves. Tony calls it when Rhodey bows out and tries to get some sleep. He and Steve have a lot of planning to do in the morning.

But he can’t sleep. He can barely even lay down. There’s too much to do, but he feels like it would be rude to start working on a plan without Steve. After about an hour of laying on top of his perfectly made bed and staring at the ceiling he decides to go make some coffee, grab a snack, and just go to the lab and do some brainstorming. Steve can’t be upset if he just makes some lists. Then Tony would have his thoughts in order.

Mind made up, Tony throws a shirt on over his boxers and shuffles off to the kitchen. He has a personal coffee machine in the lab but he hadn’t eaten much that day and he doesn’t want to get bitched at by JARVIS about it. So he plans to raid the fridge for party leftovers.

He’s surprised to find the light on in the kitchen. When he rounds the corner he sees Steve Rogers sitting on the kitchen counter, eating the fancy little blocks of cheese left over from the party. He has the audacity to look bashful and cover his mouthful of dairy with his hand.

“Mmm!”

“At ease, Captain, just save some cheese for me.” Tony goes straight for the espresso machine. “JARVIS, is anyone else awake? Or active?”

“Doctor Banner is reading in his room. All other tower occupants are sleeping.”

“Great. Let me know if that changes. Steve and I need a secret meeting.”

“Yes, sir.”

“So you couldn’t sleep, either?” Tony doesn’t bother to make a drink for Steve. He’s seen him drink coffee before, but the caffeine does nothing for him.

“Of course not.” Steve slides the plate of cheese closer to Tony. “I can't stop thinking. What am I supposed to know? What am I not supposed to know yet? A lot happened in eight years. Yesterday we were traveling through time to undo an all-powerful being’s wish, and today we’re fighting goons with guns. It's almost worse than when I came out of the ice.”

“We’ll make some lists,” Tony assures him. “It’ll help. We’re here now, and we owe it to the Steve and Tony we replaced to do right by this timeline.”

Steve stares down at his hands like he’s working himself up to saying something. The silence stretches for a moment before he breaks.

“I could barely talk to Sam today. All I wanted for five years was to talk to him, just once, and now… I don't know what to say.”

“I hacked the kid’s phone.” Tony blurts out. And then winces. “I just. He made a call. To his aunt. Telling her he made it to the library and he’d call when he was heading home. And I had JARVIS save the recording. I just needed to know he was alive. And okay. And I’m so fucking creepy.” He stares at the countertop in shame.

“What's he like?” Steve asks, finally looking up at Tony with a half-smile. “We only met the one time.”

“He’s brilliant,” Tony gushes. “He’s gonna be the best of us, truly in every way. Peter could do anything he wants, anything in the world, but all he really wants to do is help people. Every day. As a teenager? It’s crazy.”

“He was pretty tough.” Steve says. “Does he have his powers already?”

“He told me he gets them about six months before the whole…” Tony waves his hands vaguely. “Accords thing. So no.”

“Ah. Well, definitely don't tell him you hacked his phone before you met. Kids these days are really sensitive about their phones.” Steve leans over to grab another piece of cheese.

Tony’s drink finishes with a hiss of steam and he does not scald his esophagus by trying to drink it immediately. He’s learned his lesson on that one. “Yeah, I’m mortified. I should not have done that. JARVIS, delete the phone call. And unhack Peter’s phone.”

“Do you also wish to remove the GPS tracking app you installed?”

Tony winces again. Busted. It sounds bad when his AI says it out loud like that. “No. Baby steps.”

“He’s out there.” Steve says. “You’ll see him again.” Steve stares hard at the floor again. "Peggy’s alive here.”

“I know.” Talk about regrets. “I should have gone to see her. I’m so stupid. It wasn’t her fault that- I shouldn’t have done that to Aunt Peggy. Stopped visiting, I mean.” He’d just have to get over himself and go see her.

“Maybe… we could go together?” Steve sounds heartbreakingly hopeful.

“I’d like that,” Tony admits. “She… the last few times I saw her she thought I was Howard. I didn’t exactly handle it gracefully.” He might have shouted. And got roaring drunk after. And then stopped going to see her.

For a moment, it seems like Steve is really going to open up. That’s what he was trying to do here right? Asking about the kid, sharing the struggle, finding common ground. But Steve closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and the moment is gone.

“Well, since we both can't sleep, now seems like a good time to share that plan.”

“Right. So it's less of a plan at the moment and more a series of lists.” Tony takes a sip of coffee and it's still too hot but he swallows it anyway. “People to befriend and tasks to accomplish, materials to gather. That sort of thing. I think our two immediate priorities are creating Vision and locating the Winter Soldier.”

*****

Steve follows Tony to the lab so they can plot with more security. He thinks Tony is saying something to him, but the words ‘Winter Soldier’ are bouncing around in his head, in Tony’s voice.

Bucky’s alive. Bucky is lost and alone and confused and alive. Maybe things will be different this time. If Steve can find him fast enough– with Tony’s help– maybe he can come home this time. Steve could be there.

It’s strange, talking about Peggy and Bucky at the same time. Most people know the story of Captain America’s war-time romance with the founder of SHIELD, but nobody knows the real story about Steve and Bucky.

Steve Rogers and love always have terrible timing.

“Sorry, Tony. Say that again?”

“The sooner we locate Barnes, the sooner Sam can also move into the Tower. He wasn’t around last time because he was chasing your boy. It would speed up his integration with the rest of the team, and we could really use someone with his level head around here.” Tony seems animated, now that he has something to do.

“And Bucky?” Steve tries and fails not to get his hopes up. "Would you be okay with him coming here too?”

Tony halts in his tracks and blinks at Steve. “What are you talking about? How else are we gonna deprogram him? We can’t count on the Wakandans to help this time around.”

“Oh. Alright then.” Steve didn't think it could really be that simple, but these are great first steps so he decides not to pry.

They arrive at the lab and Tony directs JARVIS to lock things down.

“If you are planning on making Vision again, are you going to tell…” he gestures at the ceiling where he imagines JARVIS is.

“JARVIS, daddy’s giving you an upgrade!” Tony calls. “He already knows about everything we’ve said, and extrapolated additional data from it. He’s up to speed on the situation.” He takes a huge swig of coffee, hands it off to DUM-E, and starts back up at his screen projector thing. “Let’s make a new folder. Call it Project Infinity. Captain Rogers has complete unimpeded access to everything in it. No one else can access this folder. Not even Pepper, okay? I hope you don’t mind that I started scans on the scepter, Steve. I haven’t done any mad science yet, just collecting the initial data for the Vision. That’s the only thing I’ve done without you.”

Steve is nearly speechless. Was it really this easy? He just asks Tony to include him, and he does?

“That's fine. I want to be in the loop, but I know there’s going to be stuff that's over my head. I just want to do as much as I can. We can't let our mistakes hurt this timeline.”

Steve settles into a rolling chair while Tony flutters about the computers.

“So what parts of your blueprint can we keep?”

“Big chunks of it, honestly,” Tony continues with his work. “There are two massive setbacks, though, that need immediate attention. The Vision, and Wanda. I was originally planning to come back when they were already recruited. There are pluses, though. No Ultron. Huge plus, and Pietro is still alive. If we play our cards right, we could get all three of them. But of course, that requires recruiting the Maximoffs when they aren’t actively worried about the world ending, and making Vision again is going to take up a huge amount of my time and resources if we don’t want it to be a whole big thing with the other Avengers.”

“I can take point on the Maximoffs. Vision, you're on your own. What happened at Strucker’s castle by the way? Pietro came out, but Wanda never did.”

“I addressed her directly.” Tony makes a grabby hand and DUM-E gives him the mug of coffee. “Told her I’d like to talk, before she does something she regrets. She asked me what I regretted. I was vague, but honest. She said she wanted to see what I feared. I was a little more specific in my honesty there, but apparently she still wanted to see herself and she took a little nightmare tour through some of my least pleasant moments.”

Tony shudders and chugs his coffee. “I’m pretty sure she still hates my guts, but I got her curious. Pietro tried to come after me and she stopped him, and retreated instead.”

“Things we’ve seen in the future are even scarier than what we'd seen by now.” Steve summarizes. “I’ll see if I can't track them down and give them the old war-bonds speech."

“JARVIS, keep Steve updated on the search for the Maximoff twins, and Sergeant Barnes.” Tony grins over his shoulder. “You’ve got the world’s best supercomputer doing your recon this time around.”

“Thanks JARVIS.” Steve looks up to the ceiling. Tony used to laugh at him for doing that, since JARVIS doesn't have a physical location, but it makes Steve feel like he’s talking to a person, instead of a computer. "It’s good to hear you. From my perspective, we haven't talked in a long time.”

“Something I hope my assistance can remedy in this timeline,” JARVIS replies.

“I’m going to start the preparations to switch SI operations over to a new AI. This will make transferring JARVIS to the Vision body much easier and faster when we are ready to upload.”

“That's a great idea.” Steve says. “Last time we really had to scramble when we thought JARVIS was gone. Are you one hundred percent sure examining the mind stone here is not going to create Ultron?”

“One hundred.” Tony nodded. “The short version is I’m only taking readings, not accidentally waking up the Mind Stone. Also, even if it did wake up, every scrap of data from the Ultron project has been eradicated. And the Vision project has no directives for the AI because it isn’t really an AI. Vision was a person with his own morals and feelings.”

Steve frowns. “Without Ultron, a lot of things are going to change. We should probably make a list of things we remember happening, and whether or not we think they’ll be different. As time goes on it will be harder for us to predict things, right?”

“Bingo!” Tony shoots him a finger gun. “If we want our information to be actionable for the next couple of years we can’t alter things too drastically, although that’s going to be a lesson in futility, I think.”

“Good thing we just planned an entire time heist and put together a timeline of important events from all the major players.” Steve grins. “Most of the things we change here won't affect what’s happening on other planets. We also have a pretty good idea of where the infinity stones are.”

Steve is starting to feel like they might actually pull this off, or at least do better than last time.

“How do you feel about me building a spaceship on the sly?” Tony says it so casually, like he’s thinking about buying a new car. A spaceship. “The advantage of traveling so far back is we have a chance to grab the Stones way before Thanos even knows their locations.”

Suddenly Steve can see the big picture Tony is getting at. “You don't want to find the Stones and keep them from Thanos. You want to use them to defeat him.”

“That’s plan A, yeah.” Tony turns from his work to look at Steve. “Plan B is to destroy at least one of them, which would be easier depending on which Stones we can get a hold of. I think the best option is the Power Stone. Nobody needs more of that.”

The scope of this mission comes into focus for Steve.

“Tony. There is no way we can gather all six Infinity Stones by ourselves. I know you think it's a bad idea to tell the team what we know, but we are going to need the help.”

Steve had gotten much better at lying since coming out of the ice, but this gives him a bad feeling.

“I really just want to keep things under wraps until Vision is up and running. You’ve got to admit, it will be a lot easier to pitch our plan to everyone else if we already have him, and a space ship. We’ll never be able to keep it up forever, but the moment they know it will be nothing but questions and explaining and justifying. And honestly? I don’t have time for that shit.”

“Okay.” Steve says, still a little hesitant. “As long as we plan on working together as a team in the end, I can see the benefits of keeping things quiet for now.”

Everything that went wrong could be traced back to the Avengers falling apart as a team, and that started with Ultron. That meant they were already on the right path.

“So we agree that building the team and keeping everyone united is the key to everything.”

“Exactly.”

They stay up into the early hours of the morning working out a plan. They do their best to create a timeline of important events from their original time, using the information they gathered for the time heist. Tony dubs this the ‘origin timeline’ and refers to the one they are in as the ‘branch timeline’. They agree they’ll add to it if they remember anything they’ve missed.

Next, they agree to make a list of things that need to happen, things they need to prevent, and people they need to recruit. By the time they start on the list they are both yawning more than talking, and JARVIS alerts them that Natasha and Sam are both waking up for their early morning routines.

“Maybe we should call it here and snag a nap.” Steve suggests.

“I think we got enough done here that my brain might let me get a few hours of sleep,” Tony agrees. He packs his things away and locks everything down “This is a great start. It’ll take me longer than I’d like to make the ship quietly, and we still need to figure out what to do about the vibranium for Vis. But we have first objectives.”

“Right.” Steve stifles another yawn. “And Tony? I know we haven't settled everything, but this means a lot. You sharing, I mean. I appreciate the effort.”

Tony shrugs and blushes. “We can’t let that shit ruin the mission.” He opens the lab door and peeks out, even though JARVIS has already told him where everyone is. He must decide the coast is clear, because he steps into the hallway and holds the door for Steve. “If anyone finds out you spent all night with me after we were just caught fighting your lily-white reputation will be ruined.”

Steve feels his face heating up and tries to hide it with a little cough. “It’ll take more than a little time with a Stark to smudge my boy scout reputation.”

It almost feels like the old days, when little jabs weren't taken seriously, and they could have some harmless fun.

“There’s a fun experiment,” Tony muses, his eyes trailing across Steve’s frame. “Which holds up better? My reputation as a playboy, or your reputation as a prude.”

Steve needs to get out of there before he has a chance to mess things up. Tony will flirt with anything, and their truce is so new. Apparently, though, Steve can't resist putting his foot in his mouth.

“Like anybody would believe that. I've got a hundred year streak going. Why break it now?”

He makes a strategic withdrawal to his room before he can say anything else insane.

*****

The asset avoids sleeping as much as he can. He needs things to keep his mind busy. He keeps moving, keeps looking for signs of HYDRA, even when he knows he won't find any. He avoids cities. There is nothing to do there but huddle from one building to the next, wondering who in the crowd has been sent to kill The Winter Soldier. The asset belonged to HYDRA, was designed to carry out its will, so its enemies would come for him.

Instead, the asset sticks to the wilderness. It provides objectives for him, despite the excruciating lack of orders. Finding things becomes his constant distraction; water, food, shelter. Over and over.

But he can't avoid sleep forever.

By his count he can only make it about 72 hours before he passes out, despite his best efforts. Sometimes damaging himself will keep him awake longer, but other times it makes him sleep more, so he abandons that tactic quickly.

When the asset sleeps he dreams (remembers). He knows that he is not supposed to do this. It compromises the security of Hydra, and his mission.

What is the asset's mission? His handlers always remind him of Hydra’s goals, but he can't recall.

So the asset dreams and remembers when he finally slips into sleep. At first it’s always the same dreams. There is snow, and wind, and a train. He is falling, and the man on the bridge reaches for him. Then there is pain. The asset is accustomed to pain, but this is before.

Is there a time before The Winter Soldier?

Then an endless parade of men in white coats, with syringes, lights, monitors. The asset is strapped into the chair, and put into cryo. These are more familiar to the asset, almost comforting.

Before long, however, new memories creep into the dreams. The asset is not meant to remember his targets. It compromises Hydra’s goals. Whatever those are.

He remembers his targets from this round out of cryo. The man on the bridge (Captain America, Steve Rogers) and the man with the eye patch (Director Fury). That is normal. The asset has not been reset yet.

As the dreams continue he begins to remember more missions. When he closes his eyes, the asset watches himself stalk and eliminate target after target. Sometimes he remembers names and places, others are fuzzy, and undefined. Every time, he watches an enemy of HYDRA fall.

When he wakes he is sweaty, heart racing, stomach churning. He is not designed to remember.

The asset needs to be recalibrated.

Chapter Text

Tony spends the next few days setting up his secret projects in stolen moments in between Rhodey returning to DC, Thor heading off to Asgard to confront his brother, and Steve talking Sam into sticking around a little longer. He sends Pepper an email about switching Stark Industries over to a separate AI and she sends a curt reply about stopping by to talk about it when she’s back in the country in a week. At this point they were still struggling to re-establish a friendship after the breakup. Tony is pretty over it now, so it doesn’t hurt as much. A part of him will always love her, but she can’t love Iron Man. She only wants parts of Tony. They both deserve better.

He starts preparing to build a space ship. He has the blueprint all ready to go. He’d designed and redesigned it several times after making it back to Earth from Titan. He’d tried to fix the engine on the Guardian’s ship when he and Nebula were drifting, so he knew what he needed. But collecting the materials and assembling it would take time if he didn’t want the government and Nick Fury suddenly on his ass.

On a couple of occasions he and Steve manage to sneak away and work on their timelines and priorities, but they mainly work on it separately in a joint maximum security folder. Tony in his lab, and Steve contributing a bit slower and less efficiently from his work tablet which he barely touched in the prime timeline.

It’s smooth sailing for almost exactly a week until Tony is nursing some coffee and some lukewarm Chinese leftovers and Bruce shuffles into the kitchen. Tony hadn’t seen much of him, but Bruce had been spending more time in the areas of the tower Natasha frequented, and Tony was avoiding her as much as he could without seeming suspicious.

“Hey, Tony,” Bruce greets him before grabbing a mug from the cabinet and a bag of spearmint tea. “So I went to jot a couple of ideas down on the Ultron project, and it seems to just be gone.”

Oh shit. That was fast.

“Oh?” He plays it casual.

“Not only is it gone, but JARVIS says he has no records of the project ever existing.”

“About that,” Tony hasn’t prepared a response for this yet. “I sort of deleted it.”

“Sort of? How do you sort of delete something? You never delete stuff!” Bruce pushes his glasses up, perplexed.

“I should have talked to you about it before I just went ahead and did it,” Tony admits. “That was rude. I was trying to keep myself from doing something monumentally stupid. Like, Frankenstein stupid.”

Bruce looks a little alarmed. “But Tony, it was all still theoretical right? We never got the program to work. Right?”

“It was,” Tony agrees, “It was just a fun little thought experiment. Until I saw the first scans of the scepter start to come in. Then my brain started running away from me.” He takes a deep breath. His heart rate is way too high.

Bruce dunks his tea bag up and down in his mug distractedly. “And what does that have to do with Ultron? Tony, I’m smart, but I can't read your mind.”

“The scepter displays a more sophisticated artificial consciousness network than I could design in a million years. Actual signals firing like neurons. It’s truly incredible.” He can admit that he’ll never engineer an AI that comes close to the Mind Stone. Cosmic forces definitely win that round.

“That's crazy! Can I see it? When did you find this out?” Bruce stammers.

“Yeah, we can go look at it, c’mon,” Tony decides to show him. He was the push factor last time in taking Ultron off the chalk board and onto the testing stage. And there was no fucking way he was doing that this time. “The first readings started coming in right before the party. That’s when I got spooked and deleted Ultron.” He heads for the lab.

“This is incredible!” Bruce paces around when Tony shows him the neural map. “So the scepter was just a housing unit for this… this brain?”

“Pretty much.” The Mind Stone is a wonder of science. Tony knows all too well how that sort of thing makes people behave. He’d fallen into the trap as well. “Now I get why people can’t help themselves around this thing. The Tesseract, too. You get so caught up in the scientific awe that you immediately start experimenting.”

“So what are you experimenting on?” Bruce gives him a knowing look. He’s trying to connect the missing pieces. “And why did you wait to tell me?”

Tony is ashamed to even say it out loud. “I had a moment of mania where I thought about using the scepter to run the coding for Ultron.” He watches Bruce realize what that could be, sees a shining beacon of safety and security hovering in Bruce’s eyes. It makes him nauseous that they were so naive.

“And then I realized I’m not that different from Hydra or SHIELD or any of their scientists,” Tony carries on bitterly. “I immediately jumped to testing practical applications when I barely even begin to understand what this thing is.”

“So you just deleted everything?” Bruce removes his glasses and rubs his eyes. “I mean, I know it was mostly theoretical, just a dream really, but we could have come up with a safe way to test it if you included me. Which you didn't.”

“I really am sorry I didn’t talk to you, but I…” Tony decides to be vulnerable. He’s still lying, but it’s better than nothing. “I had a panic attack, okay? I don’t have them very often anymore, but the Wanda thing fucked me up a little more than I implied in my mission report.”

“If you– of all people– think something is too dangerous to do, I'm certainly not getting anywhere near it.” Bruce waves his hand at the projection of the mind stone. "But you don't have to do everything alone. There's a whole tower of people here who want to help. Hell, we love to help. Every one of us knows a thing or two about being afraid. I'm not saying you have to talk to me, but talk to somebody, okay?”

Tony nearly keels over in his relief. It finally hits him that now Ultron really won’t happen in this timeline. He covers it by acting like he’s embarrassed about his emotions.

“I’m working on it. I promise. Does it help to know I talked to someone about it? It should have been you first, but I did. Talk.”

“Look at us, you’re talking about your feelings, I'm only hitting bad guys when I go green. Real progress!” Bruce stares at the projection for a few moments. “So does that mean we’re not supposed to look at this thing, because I really wanna look at this thing.”

“Look all you like! Take as many readings as you want. But we aren’t gonna make the mistake of experimenting with this thing until we know what we’re dealing with. And maybe get an ethics committee involved.” Tony makes the hologram spin and marvels at the intricacy of the Mind Stone. Eventually, he will use it to make the Vision. But for now? No practical science, only theoretical.

They tinker for a while, take readings, and make notes. It feels good to have company, somebody to collaborate with.

After a few hours Bruce speaks up again.

“So… things with Cap seem to be going well. He’s the one you're talking to, right?”

“Yeah, it’s nice to not be arguing all the time for once. We-“ Why was Bruce looking at him like that? Oh, hell. “No. Nope. Not that kind of going well, take those smug glances somewhere else.”

“Hey, no judgement!” Bruce ducks behind a screen. "You two have always had a bit of a… let's say intense relationship. It makes people wonder. That's all.”

“Well, we aren’t.” It was far more complicated than Tony could begin to explain. Even if they hadn’t done what they’d done to each other in the prime timeline, it would still never work. Steve had Bucky. And Tony was a fucking mess. He deserved to be alone. “I’ve outgrown my fucking around days. Now if I’d met him at a club in the nineties…” Tony waggles his brows salaciously. “I’d have definitely tried to get him to join me and a couple of Victoria’s Secret Angels in a hotel room.”

“So there's nothing, or it's something more serious?” Bruce must be feeling very brave.

“I’m acknowledging he’s hot, that’s all,” Tony defends. “We fight less now. It doesn’t need to be a whole thing.” He realizes that he hadn’t really answered the question so he goes on the offensive. “Besides, if there’s any good drama right now it’s gotta be between you and Natasha, right?”

Bruce chokes on a laugh. Nailed it.

“What, that? Nat’s just playing around. She flirts with everybody.”

“That’s why she spends so much time in the library with you these days, huh? Because she flirts with everybody?”

“That's because… and she… well…” He flips down into a rolling chair. “Tony, I don't know how to do this. I don't even think I should do this.”

Uh oh, advice time. Tony thinks for a moment before speaking. “If there’s one thing I know about Natasha, she never does anything without a threat assessment first. She wouldn’t be flirting with you like that if she didn’t feel safe.” He sighs at the frown on Bruce’s face. “More importantly, she wouldn’t do it anymore if you told her you didn’t feel safe.”

“That's… good to hear I guess.” Bruce takes his glasses off to rub his eyes. "I haven't been with anyone. Not since everything happened. And even then, I'd really only dated one girl. Even if I wanted to, I’m not sure I know how to do this. And she’s so… you know?”

“Bruce. I’m gonna be super frank with you.” Tony puts a hand on his shoulder. “There’s a million ways to have sex. If you and Natasha really want to be intimate with each other, you can. It might take some experimenting to see what works, but you’re a man of science.” He grins. “Trust me. Nat wouldn’t be spending so much time and energy flirting with you of all people if she were looking for something boring and vanilla.”

“But I’m boring!” Bruce laments. "The most interesting thing about me is the other guy! I don't even know how to flirt or any of that stuff.”

“Well, whatever you’re doing, she keeps coming back for more.” Tony shrugs. “And I hate to break it to you Brucie, but most of the biggest freaks I’ve ever been with were the quiet, boring ones. But again, I’m not really the person you need to have this conversation with, am I?”

“Yeah. Yeah. You're right.” Bruce puts his glasses back on and goes back to his monitor. “Is it really that obvious? Does everybody know?”

“Oh Clint has no idea,” Tony laughs. “Sam does. He’s very perceptive. Thor doesn’t, or he would have congratulated you loudly in public about it.”

“Great. Super.”

“Just talk to her. Get on the same page. Don’t just shove her away because you’re scared. The world could end any day now.”

Tony blinks. “Hey, that was pretty good advice. I’m getting a lot better at this crap.”

“Nothing the great Tony Stark can't do.” Bruce mumbles, getting sucked back into the numbers on his screen.

Except maintain a romantic relationship without fucking it up royally. Except save the universe the first time around.

Tony sighs and demands more coffee from DUM-E. He has a timeline. He has a list. He has Captain America cooperating with him for now. One step at a time.

*****

Steve can't avoid Sam forever, and he doesn't want to. He misses his best friend so much it makes his heart hurt. But the thought of keeping things from him is terrifying to Steve. How could he talk to someone he’d mourned for so long without letting that grief show?

But Steve Rogers is no coward, and nothing worth doing is easy, so he clears an afternoon for them to hang out.

A big part of their plan to keep the Avengers together as they get ready to fight Thanos is to have Sam come on as a full-time Avenger. He’s not just an impressive flier, and handy in a fight. He’s rock solid. Steve doesn't know what he would have done without him the first time around.

The plan is to do a little training, then get takeout and watch movies. Sam takes Steve’s pop culture education very seriously.

When the elevator opens to deposit Steve on the gym floor, Sam is already there.

“Hey!” Sam waves and beams at him. “I gotta say, I’m gonna miss those sheets when I’m skulking through alleyways next week. Tony is not one of those rich cheapskates. The rooms here are incredible.”

“About that…” Steve sets his gym bag down and starts winding a boxing wrap around his hand. “I was gonna catch up a bit first, but I think we need to change the plan.”

Sam’s posture immediately sharpens into that of a soldier. “Did you get a lead? Are we heading out early?”

“Nope. We’re changing assignments. I need you here.” The captain tone comes out naturally, and Steve cringes a little. “What I’m saying is– if you want– you should join The Avengers full-time.”

“Oh. Wow.” Sam looks stunned. “Really? I mean-really?”

“I'm technically the leader, and Stark’s the money, and we both say yes. Besides, everybody loves you. You belong on the team.” He starts wrapping the other hand.

“I just wasn’t expecting this. I would love to. You know I’ve got your back.” Sam moves easily into some stretches. “I guess I thought you’d ask me after we found Bucky. Totally cool with this, though, man.”

“JARVIS is taking over. I didn't think Tony would be willing to help, but…” Steve’s not really sure how to finish that sentence. “Anyway, if you've got anything to wrap up in DC do it fast. You're moving to New York.”

“Sir yes sir,” Sam teases. “I wish you and Tony would have gotten your shit together sooner. I could’ve been sleeping on an expensive-ass mattress this whole time.”

If only Sam knew how long it had really taken them to get here. Steve knows that there is still a lot to settle between them, but the show of trust is going a long way.

“You’re gonna need that mattress after today. I'm not going easy on you, since you're an Avenger and all.” Steve couldn't stop himself from grinning, even if he wanted to. It's good to have Sam back, and it feels right to make this change. He wishes he’d done it the first time.

“I’m an Avenger,” Sam says it with such awe. “No take-backs.”

Steve heads into the boxing ring. “Show me what you've got, Falcon.”

Sam fights smart. He knows he can't really match Steve in strength, speed, or endurance, so he goes for painful shots, always aiming to end things before Steve can get a good blow in. He’s slippery too. The first time he manages to trip Steve and send him to the floor he yells in victory.

After a few rounds– mostly ending with Sam on his ass, but not always– Sam needs a break. He sits on a bench, chugging water, and catching his breath while Steve tears into some punching bags. Tony’s people managed to design one that can stand up to Steve twice as long as a traditional sand bag. It has a lot more resistance too, so he can hit harder.

“So I know you and Tony are getting along,” Sam grins and waggles his eyebrows. “But are you getting along?”

Steve pauses as he’s winding up a punch. “It's not like that.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Sam draws his syllables out to make it extra sarcastic. “Please tell me you’re at least aware of the sexual tension between you two. C’mon Cap, you can’t be that oblivious.”

Steve certainly wasn't. He’d thought about it. He’d thought about it a lot. Tony was brave, clever, handsome, and funny, but most importantly, Steve admired him. That always seemed to be a requirement.

It wasn't too much earlier in this time that Steve thought they might have a chance. But Tony was coming off a breakup with the great love of his life, and Steve was off chasing his. It was unfair of Steve to love two people at once, but that was something he couldn't seem to stop doing. That's why his timing was so terrible.

Steve will find Bucky, and Tony will fix things with Pepper this time, and maybe they can cross the divide that’s been growing for years back to friendship. You can't love without trust. Not really.

“Tony Stark has sexual tension with his espresso machine. That doesn't mean they’re going steady.”

Sam scoffs. “Going steady?” He pauses, and then squints his eyes and gives Steve that look that means he sees right through him. “Oh. You like him.” He doesn’t tease, he just states it as a fact.

Steve is already lying about too much. He’s not going to lie about this.

“I do. I did. It's pretty complicated, but the important thing is that it's not going to happen. It's better for both of us to be friends.”

“Okay. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything, I just want to see you happy, man.” Sam hops back up and stretches out his hamstrings. “At least I’m not throwing eligible ladies at you, like Nat does.”

“It's fine, Sam. That's what friends are for right? I appreciate the effort, but I've never been the type for casual dating. I know what being in love feels like, and I missed it by a few years.”

With Peggy, Bucky, and Tony. A guy only gets so many chances.

“If you say so,” Sam says in that way that means he doesn’t agree at all but he’ll let Steve figure it out on his own.

“Oh yeah?” Steve smiles. “Tough words from a guy getting back in the ring with me.”

“Like me nagging you about your distinct lack of a love life is gonna get my ass any less kicked than it was already gonna be.”

After another few rounds they are both ready to call it quits. Sam showers while Steve blows off the rest of his energy running laps around the gym.

As he runs he thinks about Sam’s words. ‘I just want to see you happy.’

What would it take for him to be happy, here, in this timeline? The glaringly obvious answer would be stopping Thanos from ever getting the stones. But what would make him happy?

He wants the Avengers to be more than just a team. A family. He wants to spend time with his friends. He wants to know that Tony has his back, and vise versa.

He wants to be with Bucky. He’s always, always wanted to be with Bucky. Steve knows that he can come back from the things Hydra did to him. He’s done it before, kind of. Hopefully finding him faster will help even more. Then maybe, just maybe, Steve Rogers might be able to think about love.

*****

“This way, if something catastrophic were to happen to JARVIS, god forbid, he wouldn’t be taking all of SI with him,” Tony finishes his spiel while Pepper sits across the table from him with an unbeatable poker face.

“Wouldn’t running both AI make things more complicated as opposed to less?” She asks, a perfectly reasonable question.

“Well it would if Tadashi didn’t run on his own ARC reactor,” Tony explains. “Its a sustainable and separate power system from JARVIS, and they’ll be able to interact with each other seamlessly so that I can keep working and doing my Avengers thing. And if any supervillain out there ever manages to fry one of them, the other will still be up and running.”

Pepper doesn’t know that JARVIS will soon be powered by the Mind Stone and vibranium and Thor lightning. But FRIDAY will take over things for JARVIS, so it won’t be a problem and he is only barely not lying on a technicality.

Pepper purses her lips and nods. “So Tadashi would be my AI, and JARVIS would be yours.”

“Essentially.”

“And how easy is this to set up? Do we need additional cybersecurity measures to prepare for the transition?” Her perfectly manicured nails tap against the glass tabletop.

She looks good, great. The Pepper in the prime timeline had been through more stress, more grief, and more putting up with Tony’s shit. It was another striking reminder that he couldn’t lean on her as much in this timeline, he couldn’t do that to her again. There would be more ifs or maybes of getting back together. They were done and he wasn’t going to keep chasing her when he could never be the man she wanted or deserved.

“There will be a ten second window where– once Tadishi uploads– JARVIS will have to retreat into a physical drive before I reupload him to my personal servers. But you would have to have physical access to my lab in those ten seconds to maybe pull up a couple of my files. So no.” Tony has run the numbers and the transition for Stark Industries would be seamless.

“Well then that all sounds great!” She gives him the fake smile she uses when she’s trying to keep her personal and professional lives separate. There’s a tightness in the corners of her lips that means she’s worried that the moment business is done he’s going to try to charm her back into his bed. The Tony Stark that should have been in this timeline probably would have, especially if Ultron hadn’t happened. Part of why he’d pushed so hard for a suit around the world was so he could attempt to retire, maybe try to fit back into the shape Pepper liked him in. Current Tony knew it was a pointless and pathetic endeavor.

Tony hears the door swing open and turns to see Steve looking a little breathless. “Sorry to interrupt! There's a situation!”

Tony and Pepper both heave audible sighs of relief and Tony hops out of his chair. “Sorry Pep, Iron Man is needed.”

She stands and straightens her skirt. “Isn’t he always?” She adds coldly, and Tony doesn’t even wince. She’s right. He’s not ashamed of that.

“”I’ll let you know when Tadashi is ready for install,“ he barely says it before he’s pushing past Steve and out of the conference room.

“Tony, I'm so sorry.” Steve whispers “JARVIS got a hit on the twins and… I know you two were talking.”

“We were wrapping things up anyway,” Tony shrugs and presses the button on his watch that calls for the Mark 46. He built it in a hurry in the past week and he still misses his nanotech, but it’s a significant improvement from the Marks 46 through 50 from the prime timeline. “No biggie.”

Steve gives him a weird look. When they’ve made it to the elevator he finally gets to the point.

“The Maximoffs are here, in New York. JARVIS? Do you have their exact location?”

“Wanda Maximoff is in a motel room eight blocks from the Tower, and I have caught Pietro Maximoff on eight different Avengers Tower cameras. He has not approached the Tower as of yet, but analysis of his movements suggests he is staking out the facility.”

The elevator stops on a floor long enough for the doors to open and the Mark 46 to step inside. “Okay. My plan worked. She’s interested, but cautious. Hey, J, has anyone else noticed them yet?”

“No sir, but Pietro’s facial recognition will be flagged by the FBI within the next half hour. Unless you wish for me to intervene.”

“Oh, J, you always know what I want,” Tony blows a kiss at the AI’s camera lens in the elevator with a gauntleted hand.

“I’d like to lure them out somewhere to talk. They’re good kids, but they can do a lot of damage, and they don't exactly trust us. Wanda had quite the learning curve, but from what I remember, Pietro has a pretty good handle on his speed.” Cap stretches his neck as the elevator continues its descent down the tower. “I don't want to involve the others and spook them.”

“We should just go walk somewhere for lunch and get them to follow us. I’ll keep the suit near, just in case, and my watch turns into a gauntlet if I need something in a hurry. Suiting up would draw way too much attention.”

“Right.” Steve says. He’s wearing his signature look. Khaki pants and an illegally tight white T-shirt that screams ‘army base’. “I didn't know Pietro very well, but he saved a lot of lives in Sokovia. I just hope we don't need a disaster to convince them to switch sides this time.”

Tony didn’t know either of them well. After the Ultron debacle he slunk away, pretended to be the R&D guy and stayed away from the training and missions. He got the progress reports on Wanda, he read the files on the deceased Pietro, but he didn’t know them.

But he’d heard about what happened to them. The missile with his name on it, waiting for Tony Stark to kill them. While he didn’t have childhood trauma about it, he’d had an ironically similar experience.

“Deep down those two are heroes. I know it,” Tony decides to say. “I’m not giving up on them just because they had their idealism corrupted by anarchists and neonazis.”

“Well then,” Steve turns his bright smile on Tony. “Let's go get some more Avengers.”

*****

Wanda looks down at the text from her brother for the tenth time.

‘Stark and Captain America left the tower. No suits.’

She feels the little whoosh of air that signals his arrival, before she senses his mind. She has to concentrate to access other people's thoughts, but Pietro is a constant presence. A silver light she can always find in the darkness. It's comforting in a world where they feel so alone.

“Where are they going?” She asks.

“They were literally just walking down the street. I zipped by at the same time as a speeding Taxi and caught ‘deli’ so I think they are getting lunch?” Pietro’s voice and mind scream derision and annoyance.

“Great.” She says. “You can keep Mr. Perfect busy while I have another chat with Stark.”

She couldn't get the images from his head out of her mind. She was familiar with Stark’s famous kidnapping and subsequent change of heart that led to the creation of Iron Man. It had been a taste of his own medicine, even if they hadn't finished the job. But the bomb she’d seen next to him was so similar to her own circumstances. She didn't think it was possible that he knew what happened to her and her brother. But it seemed so deliberate.

No. What really concerned her was the ship, floating through space. There was this overwhelming sense of loss and failure. Not just personal loss. It was as if the stars themselves were crying.

The image haunted her. Sometimes she woke up– panicked– with Pietro hugging her, telling her it was just a dream.

She had to know.

“Let me take you closer, and then we’ll split them up.” Pietro lifts her easily into his arms. He’s getting much better at transporting her at superhuman speeds. The first few tries had been horrible, nearly leaving her with whiplash, but they’d figured it out. Pietro still complained about how slow he had to go to keep her from throwing up all over him.

Wanda is setting her feet down a few blocks away in a matter of seconds. She puts her palm to the side of her brother's face to make sure he’s paying attention.

“Be careful. Even one of them is very dangerous, and if we draw too much attention, the others won't be far behind. I just want to read his mind again. Then we can figure out the best way to take them down.”

Pietro gives her a wink and a salute, and zips away. She barely has time to blink before he’s back. “They’re just sitting in a deli with some sandwiches and coffee, not eating. They chose a table with four chairs when there were plenty of empty tables. Do you think it’s a trap?”

Wanda clicks her tongue in annoyance. “Or it's an invitation. He wanted to talk last time, I don't think that's changed.”

“Talk, trap, it sounds the same to me,” Pietro scoffs. “I should just go in there and take both of them out right now. I could do it before they even knew what was happening.”

“I know you could.” She bites her nail. “But we didn't volunteer for those experiments just to kill Stark. That won't change anything, it won't improve lives for Sokovians. It has to mean something, and the answer is in that deli.”

“Fine. We go in and have a boring-ass chat with the boring-ass old guys.” Pietro lets out a long, exaggerated sigh. The kind that always makes the corners of her mouth turn up because it’s just so silly. Then he scoops her up again and they are at the entrance to the deli and stepping inside.

Wanda decides that a little display of her power might show that they mean business. There are a few other patrons, and workers in the restaurant but she spots the Avengers right away.

She reaches out with her mind, and pushes a thought through. Leave. All at once, every civilian stands, and files behind them, out the door.

See? They’re strong, but they don't want to drag innocent people into things if they can help it.

“Should’ve placed your order before you did that,” is what Tony Stark says, tipping his sunglasses down so he can see over the top of them. “It’s always awkward to have a lunch meeting where someone isn’t eating. It’s a weird power imbalance. Everyone should be chewing or nobody should, right Cap?”

“I would have recommended the egg salad.” Rogers says. They are sitting next to each other, facing the door.

“Not hungry,” Wanda replies, taking the seat across from Stark. “But we thought it would be rude to refuse the invitation.”

“Well I’m hungry!” Pietro hops over the counter and starts rummaging around. “Mr. Stark can put it on his tab.”

“Sure,” Stark grins and leans back in his chair like he owns the place. “I bet you burn through a crazy amount of calories.”

“He’s always been a big eater, but now it's even worse.” Wanda maintains the friendly tone Stark seems to constantly employ, but she doesn't take her eyes off him.

“I know the feeling.” Rogers says. She spares him a glance. He seems strangely happy to see them. Now she wants a peek into his head as well.

“I’d say sit down and get comfy but I can only buy us so much time before an agency notices you, especially after that little shop-emptying trick.” Stark gestures to the chairs in front of him. “So sit down and let’s get right to it.”

Pietro zips into the chair next to her, with a plate piled high with pilfered sandwiches and pickles.

“You're the one who said you want to talk, Stark. So talk.” Wanda lets some edge creep into her voice. This man is responsible for their suffering, and her curiosity will only carry her so far.

“Okay, I’ll keep it simple. We’d like you both to be Avengers, but if we can’t talk you into that we are still interested in being allies.”

She looks between them, more confused than ever. “You… you’ve got to be joking.”

“Wanda, Pietro,” Rogers says. "We know you want to make things better. There's an argument to be made that current regimes haven't done a very good job, but something is coming. Something this planet isn't ready for. Honestly, we can use all the help we can get.”

“Yeah, remember how there were aliens pouring out of the sky just a couple of years ago? Right here. Where you’re sitting. That’s an appetizer to what’s out there.” Tony’s casual arrogance disappears and is replaced by grave certainty. Wanda doesn’t even have to reach out to feel that fear bubbling up inside him.

“Is that what I saw?” She turns all the focus on Stark. "That's how you know they are coming. You were out there! How do I know this isn't all your fault, sticking your nose where it doesn't belong? I wouldn't be surprised if your arrogance led them right here.”

Stark laughs, strained and a little bit manic. “Holy shit! I actually can’t take credit for this one! Wow, that actually makes me feel a lot better.” He turns to look at Captain America. “It’s my fault if we lose, but it isn’t my fault the fight’s happening in the first place. Wow. I kind of needed to hear that, thanks.”

“What the fuck?” Pietro mutters with half a sandwich in his mouth.

“Tony, let's stay on topic.” Rogers chides.

Wanda feels her confusion boiling into anger.

“We joined Hydra for two reasons. To get the Americans out of our country, and to gain the power to destroy you.” She points at Stark. “Why would we ever help you?”

For sixteen years, she and her brother had no-one to rely on but each other. They scraped and struggled to survive in a land torn apart by other countries, like they were fighting over scraps. They spent years protesting, which led to rioting, and still, there was no change. So when an offer for real power came, they happily volunteered. They never really believed in Hydra, but someone had to change things. Someone had to stop the bombs.

“Killing me won’t make you feel better, and it certainly won’t get the Americans out of Sokovia.” Tony scoffs and crosses his arms. “Two known associates of Hydra and Sokovian freedom groups assassinate Tony Stark? You think the US won’t use that as a fantastic excuse to put even more soldiers in your country? Think it through. There’s a better path here.”

“The Avengers aren't technically affiliated with any country.” Rogers says. “If you really want to make things better, rather than taking petty revenge, you could use us to advocate for Sokovia. What better way is there to change things than to become a hero?”

Wanda turns to her brother. She feels his mind swirling next to her.

“You would really just let us join? Like that?” Pietro asks in between mouthfuls.

Stark nods. “I think, revenge aside, we have similar goals. I also know how powerful you two are, and we need you. The Avengers won’t be enough.”

“Enough for what, exactly?” Wanda asks. “You're being too vague.”

Stark and Rogers share a complicated look before Stark sighs, exasperated. “She’ll know if I’m lying, Steve. I’m just gonna tell her.”

“I think that's the best option.” Rogers says. “They need to know the stakes.”

“His name is Thanos,” Stark’s voice doesn’t waver at all but Wanda feels the fear even saying his name evokes in both of them. “He’s an intergalactic warlord who goes planet by planet, conquers it, and then murders half of the population before setting course to the next one. He has armies. Plural. Fleets of space ships. The invasion of New York? That was him. And next time they won’t be coming out of a little portal.”

Wanda isn't sure if it's intentional or not, but she reaches out for that fear, and pulls it out, like a loose thread. It feels like it's calling to her.

They are standing in a grand foyer. Bruce Banner is there, along with a man in a red cape and an Asian man in Tibetan monk robes. The monk conjures an illusion of six glowing stones and explains their immense power.

She hears the echoes of their conversation.

“If he gets his hands on all six stones, Tony-“

“He could destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of.”

She dives deeper. This is just on the surface, what he’s trying to think of. What’s he trying to hide?

There’s a ring-shaped space ship in the sky above Manhattan. Stark drifts further and further from Earth as the woman in his headset cuts out.

They fight an all-powerful titan on a ruined planet. She feels desperation in every fiber of his being. They make a valiant effort, but in the end, Stark catches the eye of the man in the red cape, who shakes his head, defeated.

Everyone around him turns to dust, and blows away in the wind.

“Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good.”

She gasps and snaps out of his mind. The pain and loss in those memories is unbearable.

She shakes her head to clear the images. Rogers is distracted, gripping Stark by the shoulder. She goes for it.

Heroes lay broken and defeated on the forest floor, but Captain America has not given up just yet. The God of Thunder has embedded his ax in the purple giant’s chest. Surely the day is won.

Then he raises his hand and snaps.

In the confusion, he disappears through a blue portal, and Rogers looks around at his comrades, assessing the damage.

There he is. The man Rogers has loved his whole life. He pushes himself up from the ground, making his way towards the captain. For a moment his heart sings.

Then the man stumbles, and crumbles to ash.

He runs to him, trying to gather the pieces together, but there is nothing left. He’s alone. He’s so alone, and he failed.

Wanda retreats back into herself.

“What was that? What the hell was that?” She tries not to scream. Her mind reaches out to brush against Pietro for some sense of stability.

Stark tumbles out of his chair. “Hey nobody panic, my suit is flying in because my-“ he shudders and puts his head between his knees on the deli floor. “My heart rate is too high and the suit- it’s programmed…” He stops talking and starts taking huge, gasping breaths.

“Tony!” Rogers kneels on the floor beside him– not quite touching, but hovering– looking almost as bad as Stark. “Tony, it's okay. We’re in New York. It's 2015. They're still here.” It sounds like he’s saying it as much to himself as his friend.

Wanda looks between them, trying to disguise the panic that has leeched into her. “That was him. That was Thanos.”

“No shit!” Tony wheezes. “I’ll just crawl into the suit for a couple of minutes and then- then I’ll be- fuck.”

“What the hell is happening? Wanda?” Pietro’s eyes zip between Wanda and the superheroes on the floor.

The door opens and Iron Man walks in. It must be the suit Stark was talking about.

“Steve, stand me up. I’m just gonna-“ Tony wheezes.

“When was this? You couldn't beat him. He was…” She trails off, taking Pietro’s hand to steady herself.

She could feel his power through the memories. How did she do that?

Rogers hauls Stark up with ease and the metal suit wraps around him. The moment Iron Man has been dealt with, Rogers leans both arms on the table, taking deep breaths.

“What are you saying? What did you see?” Pietro insists.

“They already fought Thanos, and they lost. They lost everything.” She shudders at the memory of the people crumbling around them. “Why didn't he kill you?”

“He killed half of everyone in the Universe. He said it had to be random, impartial.” Stark’s voice sounds harsh coming out of the metal suit.

“There's no way.” Wanda is stunned. “Nothing could be that...”

Captain America looks up at her from the hole he is staring in the table. “I wish that was true, but it's a big universe, Wanda. There are things so powerful we can't even imagine them.”

“It’s a miracle we got a second try. We aren’t getting a third one.” Stark says it so quietly the mic in his helmet barely catches it.

“So you want us to help you fight that thing? You're crazy! How are we supposed to help?” Wanda kicks herself for downplaying their strength, but there is no way she and Pietro would stand a chance against something like that.

“We know you can help,” Rogers waits for a nod from Stark before continuing. “because you already did.”

“Speak. Plainly.” Wanda demands. “We hate you, and we have no obligation to save the planet or the universe or whatever, so if I don't get a straight explanation we are leaving right now.”

“We time traveled!” Stark nearly shouts. The armor hasn’t moved an inch since he got inside. It just stands there, frozen. “Steve and I came back here from 2023 to stop Thanos. Wanda, in our timeline, you and Thor got the closest to stopping him. We need you.”

Rogers must see the incredulous look on her face, because he pushes himself up and faces her.

“I can prove it. You can look in my mind, just don't dig too far. A lot has happened in eight years.”

“Okay…” Wanda agrees. No one has been able to fool her before. She only sees real memories or fears. “Keep what you want to show me in the front of your mind.”

She sees herself and Pietro fighting in Sokovia, alongside the Avengers. They are evacuating Novi Grad as the city crumbles around them.

Captain America looks on, while she trains in an Avengers facility. She watches as she moves objects in an orbit around her.

Rogers is in some sort of plane, looking around at his teammates. They are preparing for a mission. There are a few heroes she doesn't know, but she sees Black Widow, and herself. She hears someone mention Lagos.

She can feel Captain America’s anxiety rising in his mind. There is something he is trying to keep out of his thoughts.

She decides not to push her luck, and pulls away.

“What happens in Novi Grad?” she asks Stark while Rogers recovers from the memories.

“Nothing, now. We already prevented it.” Stark takes deep, rattling breaths between his sentences. “Should have happened last week. Hence, our need to recruit you some other way.”

“I’m so fucking lost,” Pietro sighs and takes another bite of sandwich. “Time travel? Aliens? Am I getting that right?”

Wanda tries to catch her brother up. “They lost a fight with some all-powerful alien, who killed half of life in the universe. I'm still not sure why he left any of you alive. Then they traveled back in time to try to change things. It looks like there was a crisis in Sokovia and we helped them and became Avengers.”

“Pretty much,” Stark agrees. The fear radiating out of the suit like a beacon begins to dim. “Now you two are the only people from this timeline who know.”

“So where was Pietro after Sokovia? I only saw myself in your memories after that.” She turns to Rogers for answers.

“That's because he wasn't there.” Rogers looks between the siblings. “He died during the incident in Sokovia, saving civilians. I avoided showing you because it's not going to happen now. You don't need to see that.”

“Well, fuck.” Pietro sits back in shock. “Fuck.”

Wanda can't imagine what her life would be like without her brother. They’ve always been together, even when they were fighting, or driving each other crazy. He was all that was left of her family.

“This is…” she searches for the English words, or any words really, “this is a lot to take in.”

“Was it cool? Did I at least go down like a badass? Be honest.” Pietro insists, pointing an accusatory finger at Stark.

“You did. You rescued thousands of people from the city and died rescuing a child and Hawkeye from severe gunfire.”

The hum of Pietro’s mind goes silent for a few moments, and then he nods. “Okay. Cool.”

“You both helped us stop the city from crashing into the planet and killing hundreds of millions of people. You're both heroes. You just haven't had the chance to prove it yet.” Rogers looks like the spitting image of a leader as he says it. It makes Wanda want to believe him.

“So what do you want our help with?”

Stark laughs. It sounds a little too mad scientist for Wanda’s liking.

“Saving the Universe, I guess.”

“You are the craziest people I’ve ever met.” Wanda laughs. “Didn't you have some sort of plan before you traveled through time?”

“This wasn’t the year we were trying to go to,” Stark admits. The suit opens back up and he steps out. “But it might be for the better that we traveled further back than we intended. It means Novi Grad isn’t a smoking pile, and a lot of people, including you Pietro, are still alive.”

Wanda feels her temper rise. Her eyes probably flash red. “You mean you wanted to go back to fix your mistakes, but you were going to leave Sokovia decimated, and my brother dead?”

“Yes!” Stark snaps. “The further we go back, the harder it is to control all of the variables! This far back from 2023 all our foreknowledge could be useless! We’ve already drastically altered our planet’s timeline with no idea how it will affect Thanos or his plans!”

“Whoah,” Pietro’s brows shoot up to his hairline.

“Besides,” Stark continues, “When does it end? Maybe we should have gone back and prevented the fall of the Triskelion. Or the Battle of New York. You know, Hydra killed so many people and ruined so many lives. Maybe we should have gone back and prevented their infiltration of SHIELD. Hell, we should have gone all the way back to Steve’s good old days and killed Red Skull faster, or assassinated Hitler when he was a baby!” He’s breathing hard again and his suit beeps a warning.

“Don’t you see that it never ends?” Stark pleads.

Wanda looks at Pietro. He already knows the question she’s asking without words. This is as much of his choice as it is hers. Maybe even more.

He shrugs. “I’m not going to suddenly like you or anything, but I’d be an idiot to turn down being a superhero.” Sometimes it’s just that easy for him. Pietro is never one to overthink or over complicate. It’s a blessing and a curse.

“All right. Let's save the universe I guess.” This is not how she expected this encounter to end at all. “Where do we start?”

*****

The asset is beginning to think that there was a time before he was an asset. He is beginning to think a lot, but that's not as concerning as it used to be.

He can't sustain his sleep strike. It made him blurry and sloppy. He’ll never find out about before (about Bucky Barnes) if he gets caught. Once he starts sleeping more, the memories begin to come when the asset is awake.

The asset creeps cautiously towards the unoccupied deer blind which he selected to be his shelter for the next few days.

(Bucky makes his way up the hill, weaving in and out of trees. It's so cold he can see his breath, but he can't worry about that. He has to get in position. At the top of the hill he takes his time setting up his rifle and getting comfortable. A sniper’s job is mostly waiting, but Bucky is patient. He’d be shooting Nazis in no time.)

The asset drapes the sleeping bag he stole from some campers over him for warmth. The nights get cold, but if he zips himself in, it will slow him down. He eats four bags of beef jerky he grabbed from a gas station.

The asset plans to stow away on a boat headed to Europe. He knows the Americans were hunting him, and this will throw them off for a while. He needs to eat and drink as much as he can now. The last time he snuck onto a ship he wasn't able to eat or drink anything the entire voyage.

The asset should not remember the last time, but he does.

He attempts to clear the thoughts from his head as he chews the dried meat.

(“Slow down, Sergeant! That's all the rations we got. Don't you know there's a war on?” Bucky laughs along with the rest of the men.)

The asset has not remembered the man on the bridge (Steve Rogers) aside from the time he falls from the train. He can’t see his face well through all the wind and snow, but he knows that it's him.

The asset thinks that might have been the last time he was a person.

Chapter Text

Things go shockingly well for the next few weeks, but Tony never quite manages to shake the feeling that there’s a sword hovering just over his head. He and Steve bickered over what to do with the twins. Tony wanted to onboard them to the team as quickly as possible, but Steve makes some excellent points about using their anonymity to their advantage for the time being and wasn’t that a bit of role reversal? As much as Steve hates lying to his friends, he’s willing to do it for the greater good, and Tony quickly puts the twins to work.

Their primary objective is to monitor Ulysses Klaue, and his massive stock of stolen vibranium. He’s a paranoid son of a bitch and never stays in one place too long, and that vibranium is still their quickest route to the Vision. Tony gives the twins a credit card to a Swiss account and lets them take care of their own accommodations. So far they’ve toed the line between comfort and discretion admirably, staying in nice hotels but never racking up a large enough bill to get noticed.

He’d also become Wanda’s trainer, leaving Steve to deal with Pietro. Remote training via phone call wasn’t nearly as good as real sparring, but the twins were pushing their limits and learning what their powers could do. They just needed some guidance. So JARVIS found them abandoned and condemned buildings to practice in while they kept tabs on Klaue, and Tony spent more and more time in the secret part of his lab working on his secret space ship and teleconferencing his secret apprentice.

The ship was coming along fantastically. Way better than that bucket of bolts the Guardians flew around in, especially since he’d built an arc reactor to run the main power supply. The hull and interior were mostly finished, but there were still some high profile materials he needs for the engine and navigation systems that he was waiting to procure. He does have two handy dandy new helpers to acquire things for him on the sly, though, so he moves his time table on getting the ship finished up by two weeks.

He feels good. He feels productive. Sometimes he has minutes in the day where he isn’t thinking about how the whole universe depends on him.

“Okay, so how many cars are you holding up?” Tony asks into his headset while waist deep in wiring for the life support system. Apparently what Wanda really needed in her training was someone to believe in her. And who knows a fuck-ton about physics and thermodynamics.

“Three.” Her voice comes in a bit strained. She still has that thick Sokovian accent she’d managed to smooth out with time.

“Okay, so add three more.” Tony double checks there isn’t any power in the panel once he finds the cluster of wires giving him grief, and then starts fiddling.

“What? You're joking. I'm barely holding these.”

“That’s because you’re too focused on the weight. You aren’t lifting them with your muscles, Wanda. You have to train your brain to stop thinking of it like that.”

“What am I lifting them with? Because right now, it really feels like my muscles.”

“It’s energy of some kind,” Tony muses. “Should probably get some scans of that. I think your powers are heavily influenced by your perception. You think the cars are heavy, so they are. Did you ever see Empire Strikes Back?”

Tony is suddenly struck with a wave of loneliness as he thinks about Peter, but he compartmentalizes it.

“Once. So it's just like a mental thing?” He hears her take a deep breath, and then she cries in triumph. “I got another one!”

“Great job!” Tony tries to be encouraging. “Now pick up at least two more.”

“I'm holding four cars in the air. You could at least pretend to be a little impressed.” As she complains he hears some of the strain leave her voice.

“Are you trying to find out what I’ve seen you do in the future? Cause I’ll tell you, if you want to know.”

“I thought it was dangerous to tell us too much. Ha! Five!”

“I meant specific feats involving your powers.” Tony finishes fixing the offending wire and starts shoving things back where they belong.

“It might be good motiv– Ah!” There's a large crashing sound, followed by a few words in Sokovian. Tony doesn't know exactly what they mean, but cursing is a universal language. “I lost it.”

“And that is why we practice in a junkyard!” Tony climbs out and reattaches the panel before running some diagnostics.

“I’ve seen you lift and throw an entire multistory garage of cars at a target,” he lets her know. “It wasn’t all at once, but you had at least ten in the air at a time and were hurling them like ping pong balls.”

“Wow. I sound pretty cool.” She sighs. “What's with the cars? Is it like, a thing?”

“If we’re in an evacuated civilian area and there’s combat, the closest things you have to fling are cars and building rubble.” He locks up his secret workshop and heads back up to his regular one.

“Ah. Practical.” She says. “Any other tricks I should be practicing?”

“That thing you did in the deli,” Tony does a quick check of everyone’s whereabouts, a habit of his these days. “You used it to evacuate hundreds of people in Sokovia. I can’t really encourage you to practice that one on civilians, though.”

He has a thought. A sneaking suspicion he never got to investigate when Wanda was an Avenger. “How much do you know about molecules?”

“Only the basic stuff, which to you I imagine is effectively nothing.”

Bruce is nearing the lab. Steve too, but from a different route. He has to wrap things up.

“I have to go, but I’ll have J send you some things. Just a couple of primers on matter and molecules. Read them and see if you can do anything with it.”

“Don't expect too much. I learned English from sitcoms, not textbooks.”

“Oh Wanda,” Tony sighs fondly. “I’m Tony fucking Stark. JARVIS will translate them before he sends them.”

“Go. I need a nap.”

“So do I!” Tony agrees before hanging up just in time for Steve to knock gently on the lab doors.

“Tony? JARVIS said you were in there.” Steve slowly peeks through the door. “Oh, there you are.”

He crosses the room and sits in the extra chair. The one that neither Tony nor Bruce use. Maybe he’s starting to think of it as Steve’s chair.

“What brings you to my evil lair?” Tony steeples his fingers together and smirks.

“Not funny.” Steve says sternly, but the corner of his mouth is turned up just a bit. “We've had a lot of down-time lately. I want to run some drills with the whole team– minus Thor, of course.”

They still hadn't gotten any updates from Asgard.

“So you came all the way down here instead of asking JARVIS to send a message.” Tony teases. “I feel so special.”

“Well,” Steve leans forward, with his forearms on his knees. “I don't know if you've heard, but I’m a little old-fashioned.”

God, Tony shouldn’t be doing this. But Steve’s got his sleeves rolled up to show off his forearms and the way fabric stretches across his pecs should be illegal in all fifty states and Puerto Rico. And Tony is so lonely. Once they find Bucky he’ll have to stop flirting with him like this.

“Not something I’ve ever been accused of.” Tony puts his hands on the desk behind him and leans back. “People say I’m much too modern.”

“Modern has some perks.” Steve does that thing where he raises his eyebrow. “I love all the air conditioning and general lack of polio.”

“Those are definitely great,” Tony agrees easily. “But there’s perks to old fashioned as well.”

“Oh please. What could you possibly prefer to all this?” Steve waves his hand at all the cutting edge lab equipment.

“Hey, all of that is great. It’s wonderful. But sometimes what you need to solve a problem is a good old fashioned screw…driver.” He pauses in just the right place. He wants to see how Steve will react.

He rewards him with a surprised laugh, a little pink creeping into his cheeks. “I guess there are still a few things that need to be done manually.”

Ugh. What Tony wouldn’t give to be done manually right about now.

“I mean there’s robots for that too, but it’s not as satisfying, y’know?” Tony just can’t help himself.

Steve blinks at him in stunned confusion. He's done it. He's broken Captain America. He looks like he’s about to respond when the door opens again, signaling the arrival of Dr. Banner.

“Oh, hey Bruce! What brings you to my evil lair?” He shoots Steve a smug little grin.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” Bruce looks between the two of them with mild amusement.

“No.” Steve straightens in his chair. “I was just seeing when everyone is free. Sam moves in tomorrow and I’d like the whole team to get a little practice in.”

“I’ll have JARVIS send you my schedule,” Bruce tells Steve. “The Other Guy needs to meet Sam properly, in a more controlled environment.”

“I agree. Plus, having another flier changes a lot. Oh, that reminds me. Tony, how’s Redwing coming?”

“Done and ready for action!” Tony hops up to sit on the desk top. “Sam had better love it or I’m revoking his gadget privileges.”

“Something tells me he will.” Steve gives him a sly smile. “I'm not in the way of your work, am I Bruce? I'm kind of hiding from Nat. There's a lawyer she’s keen on setting me up with.”

“No, hide away, I’m just here to look at some of the scepter readings. Tony and I decided to isolate the files so that they are only on a secure server in the lab.” Bruce waves a dismissive hand. “She was telling me about that lawyer. I’d be hiding, too.”

Was Natasha really so oblivious? She’d been there and seen Steve go through everything with the Winter Soldier. She had to know how Steve felt. Maybe that was the point. Maybe she was trying to distract Steve, or get him to move on.

Steve lets out a weary sigh. “I'm not sure if Natasha has really considered it– because she’s a super spy and she’s great at controlling information– but even one casual date with someone like us can change a person’s life. It can put them in danger, and I think it's irresponsible to see someone casually without them really knowing what they're getting into. But she's convinced I need somebody, so she keeps throwing higher profile dates my way.”

“Has she even asked for your input? Or your preferences?” Tony scowls. He’d been on far too many set-up dates in his life to have anything but bad associations. People who wanted the Tony Stark one night package deal, or wanted his money.

“At this point I thought she was just doing it for fun,” Steve sighs, “but she’s really gunning for this one. Apparently she’s friends with Pepper, so she knows what she's in for.”

Tony can’t help the noise of total derision that leaves his mouth at that. If this lawyer was actually friends with Pepper then she should never want to date a superhero ever.

Steve gives him a confused look. “Things not going well with Pepper?”

Not this again. Tony feels his whole body tense up. “No, things are never going well with Pepper. Thanks for the reminder.”

“Jeez, I'm sorry.” The pity in his expression makes Tony want to scream. “But– from a guy who always waited too long– don't. Maybe you can meet each other half-way.”

All Tony did was be what Pepper wanted. And it still wasn’t enough. He could handle being monogamous, it’s what she asked for. He could handle having sex the way she wanted and socializing the way she wanted and keeping the arc reactor covered the way she wanted. But when she wanted him to stop being Iron Man, he realized she was just like everyone else. She didn’t want him. She wanted the Tony Stark that existed in her head.

He’s hurt. Tony knows he hasn’t told anyone this. He knows Steve has no idea what his relationship with Pepper was really like. But he still opens his mouth and says “Tell you what, Cap, I’ll get back together with Pepper the day you get together with Peggy.”

There’s a long beat of silence. Steve’s expression goes completely neutral. Tony expects the normal screaming match, maybe some thrown furniture, but instead, Steve just stands and walks straight out of the room. No final jab, no glance over his shoulder. Nothing.

“Tony, what the hell was that?” Bruce demands. “What on Earth possessed you to say that to him?”

“I- I don’t…” All Tony could do was stare after Steve. “I’m a real piece of shit, sometimes.”

“Well? Why are you standing there? Go fix that!” Bruce points accusingly at the door.

“I-“

“Now!”

“Jeezus, okay!” Tony is sprinting down the hall before he can even register what was happening. “J?”

“He’s nearly to the elevator, sir.”

“Well hold it for a minute!”

He makes it around the corner in time to see Steve standing stock still at the elevator doors, every line of him tensed.

“Steve!”

“JARVIS, are you opening this door, or am I opening it for you?”

“Steve! Wait! God, I’m- that was such a mean thing to say and I-“ Tony rushes to apologize and can barely get any words out.

Steve doesn't acknowledge him once. He lifts his hands and begins to press his fingers into the seam between the elevator doors.

“JARVIS! Get the elevator for him!” Tony panics. “I’m sorry I’m so- you didn’t deserve that. When I’m hurt I just say the meanest thing I can think of- I’ll just fuck off now.”

It’s fine, he thinks as the elevator dings and he turns to run away. He’ll just go have a panic attack in his lab and then it’ll be fine. He just needs some suit time. If he can just get to a suit-

Steve’s voice is so angry, it takes him right back to Siberia.

“I don't care if you meant it or not. There's some things you can't take back. Oh wait. You can just go back in time and leave everyone here, and erase all your mistakes. Third time’s a charm right?”

The door closes.

Tony curls up on the carpeted floor right there in the hallway, and his suit finds him lying there thirty seconds later. He crawls into his metal shell and tries to breathe with varying amounts of success. He doesn’t move again for hours.

*****

Steve runs. Literally. He walks straight out of the tower, and just starts running. It's difficult to do in the busy streets, but eventually he makes it to central park, so he just goes in circles.

Maybe if his lungs burn enough, or his limbs ache enough his heart won't hurt so much. What it really does is make him think about everything he’s been avoiding since he ruined Tony’s big plan.

God, he was dense. He’d just assumed one of the things Tony wanted to change about this timeline was his relationship with Pepper, because he assumed Tony would be selfish like that. And he’d let Steve make so many comments about it, without setting him straight.

Why was Tony so afraid to talk to him?

He also thinks about Peggy. From his perspective he’s been out of the ice for twelve years, and she’s been dead for seven. That's a lot of time to get used to things. He’d had time to visit her, and hear about her amazing, impactful life. A selfish part of him was happy she had loved him all this time, but he was glad she was able to move on. When he was feeling lonely and sorry for himself he always asked himself what Peggy would think. If he spent his whole life mourning her she would be furious, so instead he loved her memory. A little part of his heart would always be just for her.

He'd only been in the war for two years. What a joke! It felt like an entire lifetime. They’d never really gotten to be together. He’s had time to grieve, and move forward, but he never stopped imagining what things might have been like.

A house, and a white picket fence. He’d see her in the morning before she’d done her hair and makeup, and he'd insist on doing all the cooking. They would ride to work together, and come home together. They’d kiss each other goodnight.

And now she's going to die again and it’s Tony's fault.

It's not Tony’s fault.

He has no idea how long he’s been gone, but his shoes are destroyed. He takes them off, along with his socks and puts them in a trash can. Then he walks back to Avengers Tower. If anybody notices that Captain America is wandering Manhattan barefoot he really doesn't care.

*****

 

They don’t talk to each other for three days. Tony barely talks to anyone. He spends most of his time working on the ship and staring at his locked liquor cabinet. Then they have to attend the team practice and they manage to be civil long enough to get through combat drills. But team practice also means team bonding after, so they all cram into the dining room and eat buckets of Ethiopian food and Tony avoids Steve by virtue of both of them sitting as far away from each other as they can.

But then it’s time for movie night and before Tony knows what's happening he’s being handed a bowl of popcorn by Bruce and is shuffled into a loveseat by Sam, and then his thigh is touching Captain America’s thigh. He tries to stand back up, saying something about needing a drink, but Clint hands him a sports drink and so now he’s stuck sitting next to/slightly on top of Steve while the opening credits to Jurassic Park Two start up.

Steve is a stoic pillar. He’s just relaxed enough that no one else would notice his unease, but it feels like he’s ready to move at any second. He sneaks a peek at Tony, and their eyes lock for just a second, before they dart back to the TV.

The nice thing about movie night with the Avengers is that it’s loud. The movie is loud and everyone talks through the whole thing. It makes it a little easier to sit awkwardly next to Steve when Clint is asking him if he could clone real dinosaurs and Sam is jabbing at Steve to pay attention to the most important parts.

It’s still fucking awkward.

Even as hurt as he is, he can’t blame Steve for what he said. Tony fucked everything up by running away to this branch timeline, he knows that. And it was vindictive and nasty of him to bring Aunt Peggy into his bullshit. She didn’t deserve that, just because Tony is upset that his first real love would never work out, and the man he could have come to love is also the man whose life he keeps destroying.

Tony catches Sam having some sort of non-verbal conversation with Steve. He can only see Sam’s face, but he seems to be indicating to Tony. Steve shakes his head in an abortive gesture. Then, Sam gives him the 'come on man’ face, and Steve turns back to the movie.

“They don’t like it when we fight,” Tony murmurs when everyone is distracted by Jeff Goldblum. “And then they pull shit like this.”

Steve's shoulders soften just a little. “It's because they know we don't like it when we fight either. But as far as I’m concerned, this wasn't a fight.”

“It wasn’t.” Tony agrees. “I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t a fight.” It felt more like a firing squad. Or one of those old fashioned duels. Like they’d both raised a pistol and aimed for the gut.

“If you had let me know at any point that I was wrong, I never would have tried to encourage you.”

“I-“ don’t know how to begin to talk about it. “Think we should take this conversation somewhere else,” he decides to say. “Now that we’re talking to each other I think they’ll let us leave.”

“The movie’s almost over.” Steve says. “I don't want to give them the satisfaction.”

He relaxes more fully into the loveseat, and now their shoulders are also brushing.

It’s ridiculous. Tony has no protocols for this. All they do is hurt each other. And soon, Steve will have Bucky and Tony will have no one. That’s how it’s supposed to go. Doesn’t Steve get that? Of course he doesn’t. Tony wouldn’t be surprised if Steve had no idea how much of an effect he had on Tony at all.

He sighs and tries to be incredibly normal as the dinosaurs get shipped back to their island and John Williams blares from the speakers. As soon as the credits roll Tony hops up and heads for the little enclosed balcony by the rec room. Everyone will socialize for another hour or so, but he and Steve can have a private moment out there without anyone making a fuss.

It takes a few minutes for Steve to follow. He leans on the rail of the patio and stares out at Manhattan for a few moments. Then he looks up at Tony, with the lights of the city illuminating his face.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

They stand there for a minute and just look out at their city.

“You know, the thing I hated most about dear old dad was the way he liked to really dig the knife in,” Tony says. “If he felt cornered or threatened or angry he could find the one thing that would hurt you the most, and then say it. And then, when the smoke cleared, he’d pretend it never happened. No apology, no justification. He’d just never talk about it until he needed to stab again.” He sighs and tries to stop his hands from shaking. “I always said I wasn’t gonna be like that.”

“And I thought I’d learned a long time ago that I shouldn't assume that I know what you're thinking. I just kept jabbing at a wound that I couldn't see.”

Leave it to Captain America to assign himself blame in this situation.

“It’s not that I was trying to keep something from you. It’s just, I don’t really know how to talk about it. With all the Thanos stuff going on, it just seems so petty. We’ve been broken up for a decade longer than we were together. Several horrible drunken hookups aside.”

Steve winces a little at the mention of hookups. “Well, if you're right, this is it. We’re here for the long haul. We might as well try to have some sort of life to live after we save the universe. I just want you to be happy, Tony. If that’s not with Pepper it's really none of my business, anyway. Maybe I'm trying to force a level of friendship we’re just not at yet.”

“No!” Why does that fill Tony with such panic? He needs Steve to understand. “No, I want to be able to talk about this. I’m just terrible at it because I have no practice talking about anything that actually has to do with me and isn’t just a part of the Tony Stark persona.”

Steve turns his body away from the view to face Tony.

“That's really sad.”

“Why do you think I drink so much? Drank. Not going down that road again.” His joke does not go over well so Tony tries to be honest again.

“When I was little, it was my armor. The flashy, cocky kid genius. It made the scrutiny easier to bear. People had every kind of expectation for me. I just got used to playing the part that got assigned to me: the billionaire playboy. And when-when Iron Man happened, it became easy to be the hero they wanted me to be. So I guess, when I got with Pepper, I just kept doing what I’ve always done and tried to twist into the shape she wanted me to be.”

The sad look on Steve’s face lifts into a more fond one. “In my experience, you can't fake being a hero. It brings out the truest version of yourself. And you are one hell of a hero.”

“Thanks.” Tony can feel the blood rush to his cheeks. “I figured that bit out when I was flying a missile into a wormhole. The hero thing is easy. The disentangling of what I actually want in my personal life from all of the things I’ve been told I’m supposed to want is a lot harder.”

He loved sex. He’d loved being a playboy in his younger years. He gave those women a very good time and he had fun doing it. But there were so many restrictions that he put on himself to keep an image that would be scandalous but not hurt stocks. He could be bi, but only in a vague, rockstar way; which basically boiled down to only sleeping with men in group settings and never bottoming. If it got out it would be bad press. There were so many expectations about what he would be like in bed and he felt obligated to give women that experience when approached.

Steve leans his arm on the patio rail and cocks his hip into it to support his weight. “Good thing the Avengers are a bunch of old hens. If we manage to keep the team together this time, they’re gonna herd us like sheep. Our personal lives will be completely taken care of.”

“God, no! That’s worse!” Tony laughs and pictures everyone clucking and pecking at them. “If Natasha throws some poor girl at me I’ll evict her.”

“I don't know.” Steve’s voice drops down a little lower. “I'd say the meddling worked out pretty well tonight.”

“That’s a fluke.” Tony feels drawn forward like a magnet, and he can’t stop himself from drifting closer to Steve’s shimmering orbit. “Correlation does not equal causation.”

“But when we try to manipulate them into being a better team it's called leadership?” Steve’s eyes track his movement, but he doesn't back away.

“Exactly. End of the world stuff is different than personal life stuff. Especially throwing women at me.” Obadiah used to do that to distract him. “She may be a superspy, but she doesn’t know what I want.”

“Do you know what you want?”

You.

“I have a pretty good idea.”

Steve steps forward and puts his giant hands on Tony’s shoulders. For one heart-stopping moment, he thinks Steve is going to kiss him. Then he’s being crushed into a hug.

“Just remember that you deserve to be happy. Please.”

“I will.”

He won’t.

An hour later, once he’s alone in his room, Tony sits down and orders several hundred dollars worth of sex toys. He and his hand are not going to survive Steve Rogers and his stupidly hot everything without serious help. Because, Tony reminds himself for the millionth time, the love of Steve’s life is out there doing whatever fugitives do. Tony just has to suffer a little longer, and then once Bucky is there and they are so terribly in love, it will be much easier to stop falling in love with Steve Rogers.

*****

Steve lays in bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. He keeps his arms stubbornly by his sides, because it feels like his whole body is burning, and if he touches himself at all he’s going to do something stupid. It wouldn't be the first time tonight.

He’d almost kissed Tony. He redirected at the last second, but it had been his full intention. Tony looked so stunning in the glow of the city, and he’d been beautifully vulnerable with Steve, despite their history.

But boy, had the hug been a mistake. Steve was never going to forget what Tony felt like in his arms as long as he lived. Although he was smaller than Steve, Tony was muscular and capable, but something primal and protective in Steve insisted he should hold him tightly and shelter him from the outside world. Releasing him had been a test of will.

Tony would have let him. Maybe he even wanted him to, but they had different ideas about that sort of thing. Tony was so casual about physical intimacy. He could just blow off steam and then move on. And he had done that many, many, many times.

Sex with Tony would be amazing. Steve moves his hands slowly up his thighs. He really needs to stop.

It could never be casual. Not to Steve. He wants to make him feel special. He wants to take him apart until there’s nothing left to hide.

Steve’s hands make it up to his hip bones, and his thumbs dip under the band of his sleep pants. He bites his lip to stop a soft sigh from escaping his throat.

Would Steve even be able to please Tony? He could count the number of times he’d been kissed on one hand. Tony is probably used to having very experienced lovers.

Okay, now he really, really has to stop.

It's been months since he’s had any sort of relief. He’s been too busy, but mostly it's because he normally lasts a long time, and he’s hardly ever satisfied with just one. Thanks, Project Rebirth.

Steve slides his pants and briefs down over his hips and ass. He can't do this. He can't touch himself thinking about Tony right now.

It certainly wouldn't be the first time he’s done that, but things are so complicated. He conjures up an old classic instead, taking his cock in hand with a relieved moan.

He and Bucky were never able to be together, but oh how they'd wanted to. He imagines a celebratory night in France going a little differently. While everyone else is busy getting drunk in the only bar still functioning for miles, he and Bucky slip away. They sneak through the dark, abandoned streets of the village until they’re certain they're alone.

By then Steve can't stand keeping his hands to himself. He’s already unbuttoning Bucky’s uniform to slip his fingers beneath. They can't risk undressing too much, but it's enough just to be together.

Bucky gets impatient and drags Steve in for a kiss. It's passionate and full of meaning. Before long though, Bucky is panting into his mouth.

“Please, Stevie.”

How can he resist? Steve sinks to his knees and opens Bucky’s pants. When he takes him into his mouth Bucky covers his own to muffle the sounds.

The fantasy gets a little fuzzy at this point because Steve has exactly zero sexual experience to draw from , but he’s worked up quite a pace, thrusting into his hand. He brings his free hand up to suck three fingers into his mouth. He runs his tongue along them, trying to approximate the act.

Steve can hear Bucky’s voice in his head, like they were never apart.

“That’s it Stevie. God, that's good. Don't stop.”

Steve plays the scene out a few times, but he’s not getting close. He’s done this so many times. Would Bucky last as long as Steve, now that he was enhanced too? He remembers the way his long hair brushes the nape of his neck. He wants to bury his hands in it and tug. They wouldn't have to be so gentle with each other. Steve could give it to him in a way all those girls never could.

Bucky likes it like that. They’d always been in love, so it wasn't hard to spot how Bucky reacted to Steve’s new body. The way his eyes followed him when he did something that flexed his muscles just right, or the flush that took over his face the few times Steve had carried him.

He imagines Bucky asking him to go harder, but it's not Bucky’s voice. It's Tony’s.

Suddenly he can see Tony under him, boxed in by his larger body, and he says “You can give it to me, Steve.”

Steve remembers wrapping his arms around Tony and catching the faintest little gasp escaping his lips.

Steve spills into his hand, and it feels like it stretches out forever. He gives himself a few long, slow pumps before letting his hands fall back to his sides.

By the time the shame and regret hits, he’s already stepping into a cold shower, determined not to have a repeat performance.

*****

Assets do not want things, but assets also don't need to think, so maybe that was wrong too.

If the asset did want something, it was to see the man on the bridge (Steve Rogers) again. He was what started all this. Maybe he could fix it too. In fact, the asset has an instinct (feeling) that he could fix a lot of things.

The asset has not tried to remember anything deliberately, but he is going to attempt it. He sits in the deer blind, with his back to the hard plastic wall, and pictures the man on the bridge (Steve Rogers) in his mind. He holds the image there, like he’s memorizing a target.

The asset is allowed to memorize targets, so this action is permitted. He thinks about blonde hair, blue eyes, and broad shoulders. He pictures pulling him from the river, as burning debris rains down. He rolled his target on his side and gave his back a few hard blows until water poured from his mouth. The asset watched for a moment, trying to understand. The sight of his battered face made his flesh hand shake. Why would he rescue his target?

“Bucky, you've known me your whole life.”

The mission was a failure. He needed to run.

“I'm with you 'till the end of the line.”

The asset opens his eyes in frustration. If he was allowed to want something– which he is not– he would want to see a new memory of Steve.

Chapter Text

“She’ll still probably call me Howard, but it will make me feel better to know that I don’t look like him to anyone else,” Tony says while gesturing to his ratty Metallica t-shirt. It’s so worn and stretched out that it doesn’t sit perfectly on his shoulders, sliding just a bit to the right so that Steve is treated to the barest peek of a tanned collarbone.

Steve clears his throat a little. “She’ll still be really happy to see you.”

Steve waves to the woman at the front desk of the care facility as they pass, on the way to Peggy’s room. They all know who he is.

“And I’ll be happy to see her. But I reserve the right to have a daddy issues breakdown when I get home.”

Peggy’s room is nice, and much more personalized than a regular hospital room. There are photographs on the wall and quilts from her home on the bed. Being the founder of SHIELD comes with a lot of perks.

“How’s my best girl?” Steve beams, and sits in the armchair closest to her. He immediately takes her hand. It's so small and thin in his own, but her nails are manicured and her hair is done as usual. She's still so beautiful.

“Steve! How wonderful to see you!” She beams and it’s stunning. Her whole face lights up. “You look well!”

“Feeling younger than ever.” He jokes. In a way, he is. “I brought somebody else with me.” He nods to Tony who is hovering in the middle of the room.

Her face scrunches in concentration as she tries to recognize Tony.

“Hi, Aunt Peggy.” Tony says, hesitant.

“Anthony!” She cries, delighted. “Oh, little Anthony, look how handsome you are!” She holds her free hand out in a grabbing motion and Tony steps forward to hold it.

“How are they treating you? Do I need to go knock some skulls?” Steve asks.

“Oh, I’ve got all of the nurses here whipped into proper shape, don’t you worry.” She gives their hands an encouraging squeeze. “I don’t remember you two knowing each other. Am I supposed to know that?”

“You remember the Avengers, don't you?” Steve prompts. “The team Nick Fury put together. Tony is a hero, too. He’s Iron Man.”

“Oh! The fellow in the suit!” Peggy beams at Tony. “Oh, how wonderful. I hope you are helping keep my boy safe, Steve?”

“He sure is,” Tony nods and smiles at her. “He’s saved my ass plenty of times.”

“Peggy! Shouldn't you tell him to protect me?” Steve teases. “I get punched way more than he does.”

“Oh, I never have to worry about you, Steve.” Peggy assures him. “Not when you have your Bucky watching your back.”

Steve draws in a big breath, begging his eyes not to water. “Yep. Good old Buck. I’ll remind him to come see you, okay?”

Steve reminds himself of what all the doctors told him so many years ago. It's best not to correct her when she gets confused, as long as there's no harm. He’s done this before, he can do it again.

“He loves you so much, and he never knew what to make of me. He was a bit jealous, I suppose. I never got to tell him…” she drifts off and goes quiet for a few seconds. “Anthony, tell me how you’ve been? Any girlfriends I should know about? Boyfriends?”

“I’m still firmly a bachelor these days, but I’m too old for the playboy antics.”

“That’s good to hear, dearie. I always told your mother when she was worried about you, that you just had a big glass heart. So much love to give, but easily shattered. You were just doing your best to protect it.

“Yeah,” Tony’s voice comes out hoarse and he grips at the place where his arc reactor used to be. Steve wonders if the scar still bothers him. “You always got me.”

“That’s because this one here is the same way,” Peggy squeezes Steve’s hand tighter. “Too much love to give. Of course, he handled it a bit differently.”

“You mean he didn’t sleep with all those USO girls?” Tony grins like a fiend when Peggy bursts into sunny laughter.

“That’s not funny!” At least they weren't talking about Bucky anymore. “How could I even look at any of those dancers when I have the best girl right here? Besides, Peggy’s gun was real.”

“True and true, Captain Rogers.” Peggy winks at Tony. “He’s still upset about when I shot him. He was always clueless about romance.”

“I knew I was in love.” Steve defends himself. “I just didn't know you were flirting back. I'd never really talked to girls before. The dates Buck drummed up for me always ditched me for him. I wonder what changed?”

He nearly winces bringing up Bucky again. They had been quite a team back in the day. Steve, Bucky, Peggy, and Howard. There wasn't a problem they couldn't solve. At least, until there was.

“Oh it’s the shoulders,” Tony says, his gaze following his words.

Peggy nods. “Definitely the shoulders.”

“My eyes are up here.”

They continue like that for a while. He lets Tony and Peggy gang up on him, but only because she’s smiling so much. After about an hour of catching up and teasing Steve can tell that she’s getting tired.

“I’ll give you two a minute to say goodbye,” Tony kisses Peggy’s cheek. “It was good to see you, Aunt Peggy.”

“You be a good boy,” She tells him, smiling after him as he leaves.

“I’m happy you’ve moved on, Steve. I worried,” she says once the door is closed, turning back to Steve.

“What do you mean?”

“Steve, I’m old, I have Alzheimer’s. But I still have eyes that work.” She gives him a stern glance. “You don’t honestly think I would judge you for being with Anthony?”

She was always one step ahead of him.

“I don't think that, but we’re not together. I'm not saying there's not something there. It's just…” He searches for the right words.

“Really, Steve? Again?” She asks, exasperated.

He knows what she’s getting at.

“Bucky was different. Don't look at me like that. It was. We loved each other our whole lives, but there wasn't a way to be together. You know what it was like. And then with the war, and Captain America, we just couldn't find a way. We both liked girls well enough. We thought we could be happy someday.” He scrubs his face with the hand that isn't squeezing Peggy’s.

“Tony and I have hurt each other in ways that I don't think can be healed. I love him, but I don't trust him.”

“Oh, Steven.” Peggy reaches a frail hand up to cup his face. “You always make things more complicated than they need to be.” She sighs. “I always knew I was going to share you with Bucky. I had plans and everything.”

This was news to Steve. It always felt like he was going to have to choose. He never felt guilty about loving both of them, but he’d never imagined another way to do things.

“You could have told me that seven decades ago.”

“I had planned to. On our date.” Peggy laughs, sad. “I loved you, and so I understood that Steve Rogers came with a Bucky Barnes. I don’t know what would have happened between Bucky and me, we didn’t get the chance to know each other. But I thought we’d be a family. Raise our children together.” Her eyes fill with tears. “It wouldn’t have been easy, but we could have figured it out together.”

“Peggy Carter, you do not have permission to cry. You know once I get going it takes forever to stop.” He kisses her forehead, and wipes his own tears away. “Of course it would have worked if you were in charge.”

Just another ‘what if’ in the pile.

“With Tony, it's like we’re trying to dance, but we keep stepping on each other’s toes, and instead of laughing about it we start a fist fight. We’d both just keep getting hurt.”

“That’s why you need a Bucky, dear.” Peggy pats his cheek and then leans back until she’s laying against the headboard. “He couldn’t ever keep you out of a fight, but he always kept you on your feet.”

Peggy was right. He had his priorities all screwed up. Bucky was out there alone, and that was the most important thing. Getting the stones and beating Thanos would be difficult, but they could do it if they keep everyone together. He just has to stay on his feet until he has Bucky back, and keep things civil with Tony.

“I'm not going to wait too long this time.” He tells her, with new conviction burning in his heart. “I promise.”

He kisses her once more. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Steve.”

He makes it to the door before the tears come. He tells himself he’s not going to think about it, but he can't help himself.

Peggy Carter is going to die in eleven months and three days.

*****

Steve is sobbing when he steps out into the hallway and Tony’s first instinct is to hug him. But then he remembers the hug on the balcony and brings his body to a screeching halt on that. His next instinct is to cry as well because Peggy had known who he was the entire visit and that hadn’t happened since before Steve was out of the ice.

He goes for the third option and gives Steve two soft pats on the shoulder in solidarity. “We’ll come see her again in two weeks, okay?”

Steve goes for a stoic “Thank you for coming,” but he’s trying to catch his breath, and stop from shaking, and the effect is entirely lost.

“Of course. That’s my Aunt Peggy. Thank you for getting me off my ass and seeing her.”

Steve spends the walk through the care facility trying to put himself back together. All the staff avoid them. It's probably not the first time this has happened.

It was so weird to be here with Steve, the man he was desperately trying not to want, to visit his old flame. And to talk about the man Steve was actually in love with– Bucky Barnes. The man who killed his parents.

He wasn’t mad about that anymore, not really. It wasn’t Bucky. It was the Winter Soldier, a weapon. Hydra’s abused attack dog. The love of Steve’s life. But he still sees the footage from Siberia when he even thinks about that name.

What the fuck is his life?

By the time they make it outside Steve’s got the sobbing under control, but he’s still pretty upset. Tony ushers him into the car and nods to Happy before putting the partition up.

“You wanna talk about it?” That’s what he’s supposed to say, right?

“Not much to talk about.” Steve wipes at his eyes. “I've done this before. I can do it again. It's just, once I get started, it takes a while to stop.”

“Of course you can do it. But you don’t have to do it by yourself.” Tony hands him a cold bottle of water as they take off into heavy traffic.

Steve takes a few drinks and stares out the window for a few minutes. Tony thinks he might be silent the rest of the trip, but eventually he sighs.

“I should be happy right? That I got more time. And I am happy, mostly.”

“And the other half is already dreading having to say goodbye again.” Tony feels it, too. Not as strongly as poor Steve, though. That was the woman he’d dreamed of marrying.

“We’ve already saved the lives of so many people with the changes we’ve made, but I still feel helpless. I know what's coming and I can't do anything about it. She wouldn't want me to.”

“I keep hoping that this was Dr. Strange’s plan all along,” Tony admits. “Maybe the jump was supposed to go wrong and this is when we were supposed to go to do the most good. I have no evidence, no reason to believe it at all. But I still find myself hoping.”

Steve’s face looks serious, despite his puffy, red eyes. “For the sake of cooperation, I can't talk about this. Just stick to the list here, okay?”

“I- yeah,” Tony stammers, desperate to keep things okay between them. Steve’s clearly not over the whole creating a branch timeline thing. “It’s stupid, anyway.”

“Any luck contacting Wakanda about the vibranium?” Okay. Back to business then.

“Not even a little bit. They don’t want to touch Tony Stark with a twenty-foot vibranium pole.” He doesn’t blame them for thinking he’s trying to steal their resources to make weapons. He kind of is. He doesn’t want to steal it, but he will if he has to. Klaue would be the better one to steal from, of course, but that vibranium still belongs to Wakanda, and if he uses it he still stole it.

He hasn’t told Steve, yet. That he plans to use Klaue’s stolen vibranium, even if Wakanda tells him no. The Vision is too important.

“It's probably a bad idea for me to reach out. People don't ever believe that I don't represent the American government anymore. Maybe we can figure out how to contact T’Challa directly. We’re going to need their help.” Steve stares out the window again.

“We’ll have to play the long game on that one,” Tony lies, already hating himself for it as he does it. “We still have time. No need to be reckless.” Yet. But Tony knew they would have to.

JARVIS speaks from his earpiece. “Sir, we have a hit on the Winter Soldier’s location.”

Tony hands Steve his other earpiece. “Gimme the details, J.”

“Sir, I've picked him up on a CCTV feed in New Jersey. It seems he robbed a gas station for supplies. I've isolated his most likely location to a warehouse near the port.”

“If Sam’s at the Tower please tell him to suit up.” Steve asks. "We’ll leave right away.”

“Of course, Captain.”

“I guess I’ll hold down the fort,” Tony tries not to be disappointed and terrified that they’ve found him. “Do you want a faster lift to the tower?”

Steve looks out the window at the New York traffic. "That would be great. If he’s smart– which he is– he’s trying to get on a boat. We have to hurry.”

Tony taps on the partition, and rolls it down. “Sorry, Hap, we’re taking the express route instead.”

He and Steve step out onto the sidewalk and he taps his Starkwatch to activate the Mark 47. The armor spreads out from his arc reactor and arm bands. It’s mainly just for flying, he can’t store enough armor without the nano units, but it’s a good emergency suit for now. It is, however, strong enough to lift Captain America, so he does.

It's been years since they've done this. Steve wraps an arm around his shoulders, and puts a foot on his boot.

“Ready,” he says.

So Iron Man takes off for Stark Tower and tries his best to ignore the maelstrom of emotions churning in his gut. He’ll just have to unpack all of that later. Or, never. Never sounds pretty good to him.

*****

Sam flies the quinjet while Steve paces in the back. Every time he sits down to calm his racing heart he feels like he might vomit, so pacing it is. It’s strange that not knowing how things will play out is bothering him so much. He lived his whole life that way until very recently.

“You’re gonna wear a hole in the floor,” Sam comments.

“What else am I supposed to do? I can't make this thing move any faster.”

It's not like they have far to go, just New Jersey. They must be close by now.

“No, you can’t. But unleashing all your nervous energy like this isn’t doing you any favors, either.” Trust Sam to be sympathetic and practical at the same time.

“Then distract me.” Steve searches for a topic that's not related to work. “How are Sarah and the boys?”

Sam turns his head away from flying to give Steve a strange look. “Sarah and AJ are fine.”

Shit. Cass hasn't been born yet. Steve decides not to acknowledge his mistake.

“That's good. You know, I’m still waiting for my cookout invitation, since you insist New York doesn't have any real cajun food.”

“It doesn’t, and Captain America has a standing invitation to show up anytime he likes. Now, that would impress the neighbors.”

Maybe this time around Steve would get to take him up on that offer.

“Don’t be upset if we show up and AJ is disappointed,” Sam continues. “He’s really into Iron Man right now.”

“Of course he is.” Steve laughs. “Maybe we should get ourselves some laser beams, so we can be cool too.”

“Redwing could definitely use some laser beams. He’s incredible and I’m grateful to Tony for kitting him out, but… laser beams.”

Steve wasn't any less nervous when they landed outside of town. It had only been a handful of months since the fall of SHIELD in DC. Steve has no idea how much of his memory Bucky has recovered. They might be in for a fight.

They approach the warehouse from different sides, trying to cut off any escape routes. Every crunch of Steve’s boots sounds like a gunshot to his ears. He doubts they’ll catch Bucky entirely by surprise.

When Steve bursts inside to an empty warehouse, and an equally surprised Sam on the other side he already knows they’re too late.

There are a few signs that he’d been there– boxes moved into a defensive position that are far too heavy for a normal person– but Steve guesses he’d left a few hours ago.

“Shit!” Steve feels like a dam about to burst. He unclips his shield and throws it across the warehouse, embedding it in the corrugated metal. It doesn't make him feel better.

“Whoah!” Sam breathes. “Hey, this was just a first try. We’ll find him. He might be ahead of us, but he can’t be ahead of JARVIS for much longer.”

“He’s hopped a boat. Probably headed for Europe.” Steve tries not to grind his teeth. He knows that he’ll be more Winter Soldier than Bucky at this point, but he just wants to see him. He’s gotten to see the other people he’d lost. He just needs to see that he’s solid with his own eyes.

“Tony should be able to track every boat that left in the last hour, we’ll find him. I promise.” Sam steps up and reaches a hand out like he’s going to put in on Steve’s shoulder, but then pauses.

“Sam?” Did he scare him? He knows better than to lash out like that.

“Are you- are you okay?” Sam asks. “I mean, you’ve been kind of all over the place lately. Since you and Tony brought the scepter back you’ve both been acting really odd.”

“I've been thinking about the future a lot.” Not a lie, really. “Tony has too. After seeing those scans he took of the Mind Stone we both agree that there are things out there we can't handle yet. We need to be ready, and it’s stressful.”

Sam takes a step back and falls into a defensive stance. It’s subtle, but the tension in his shoulders and the wider stance give it away. “The what stone?”

“Oh, Damnit!” Steve drops his shoulders and shakes his head. “I told Tony I’m a bad liar, but I thought I’d get a little further.”

Sam looks like he’s ready for trouble.

“Come on, Sam. I'm not gonna fight you.”

“Well, I’m holding my position until I feel like I’ve gotten some answers!” Sam insists. “Man, I went to bat for you! Nat said you were hiding something and I told her she was paranoid!” He doesn’t move an inch.

That was going to be a problem. He and Tony agreed it was best to keep things a secret as long as possible. There was too much danger in revealing future events.

But it's Sam.

Steve holds his hands up. “I have an explanation, but it's kinda crazy so hear me out, okay?” Steve takes a deep breath. "Tony and I came back from the future.”

“Are you shitting me Steve?” Sam scowls. “This is serious!”

“It is serious. You have no idea. I'm not sure how I can prove it to you.”

Sam’s face scrunches in thought for a moment. “Okay, I’ll humor you. How far?”

“About eight years. We were supposed to show up in our own bodies, but we went into our old ones instead. We actually weren't supposed to be here at all, but we’re stuck here now.” Steve tries not to sound too bitter about that. "Something horrible happened in the future– in our timeline– well, it's complicated. The point is we couldn't stop it. Nobody could. So we’re trying to change the circumstances leading up to it, so we can hopefully change the ending.”

“Well, shit.” Sam’s shoulders deflate. “That doesn’t sound very made up to me.”

“I wish it was.” It feels like a huge weight off his chest to confide in Sam. The only person he’s been able to share it with is Tony, and that situation is precarious at best. “So Nat knows something is up, huh?”

“Big time. She thinks something is off with you and Tony, something that isn’t related to your weird sexual tension thing.” Sam relaxes and presses something on his wrist. “Redwing will scan the area and send anything he finds to JARVIS.” He looks back up at Steve. “Now tell me what you can tell me.”

“Okay…” Steve tries to think. Sam could be a huge asset for them to keep the team on track. “I'm gonna keep it vague for now. I'll have to talk with Tony about what’s safe. He understands this stuff a lot more than me, but basically the more things we change, the harder it's going to be for us to know what happens next, and we've already made some huge changes.”

He watches Redwing zip around while he thinks about what to say.

“In our timeline– three years from now– an alien overlord eradicated half of life in the universe. He used these things called Infinity Stones. If we can find them before he does, we might be able to use them to defeat him.”

Sam frowns and blinks. “That’s… holy shit, man that’s a lot. Wow. Half of life in the universe? Why?”

It's probably okay to tell him. They can't affect what Thanos is doing unless they really draw his attention.

“His planet was destroyed by overpopulation, and he became obsessed with balance. Right now, he goes planet by planet, killing half the population. Once he has all six stones, he’ll do it all at once, with a snap of his fingers. Fifty percent of the population, on every single planet, completely random.”

“What a psycho!” Sam exclaims. ‘We need to destroy the stones, then? Do you know where they are? How many are there?” He fires off questions one after the other.

“Uh… I think I'd better stop here. I just want you to understand the stakes here. Tony and I are willing to do just about anything to prevent this. The most important thing we can do right now is keep the team together.”

Sam’s sudden enthusiasm disappears. “Sorry. Time travel is pretty exciting, world ending is pretty bad.”

Steve pries his shield out and talks as they head back to the quinjet. “It is. I really want to tell you about it. I had to kick my own ass in 2012. Ah, I should really shut up now. Tony’s gonna kill me.”

“Okay, so you’re telling me that you and Tony have been playing will-they-won’t-they for years?” Of course Sam would zero in on that.

“I wasn't lying when I said a lot has happened. We weren't on speaking terms for a few of those years.”

Sam whistles. “Damn! Was it- nevermind. I shouldn’t ask that. None of my business.”

They board the jet empty handed.

“Keep the team together, find Bucky.” Steve says. “That's our job. Oh also, you're gonna have to lie to Natasha, so sorry about that.”

Redwing zips in and reattaches to Sam’s wings, and then he closes the hatch and starts the quinjet up. “You know I’m gonna be ass at that, right?”

“So, does the whole team think we’re acting strangely?”

“Mainly just Nat right now. Clint is inclined to believe her, but she just doesn’t have any proof that anything is wrong.”

“Oh great.” That's exactly what they need. For things to get more complicated. “I guess I should be grateful to have friends who are loyal enough to know when something’s wrong.”

“That’s how you knew about Sarah!” Sam exclaims. “I was freaking out like, how does this man know my sister is pregnant? She just told me four-ish days ago! So it’s gonna be a boy?”

“Surprise.” Steve says with a little laugh. He hopes Sam can spend some time with them, instead of being on the run.

“Wow! Two little boys!” Sam gushes. “I’m definitely gonna be the best uncle ever when I bring superheroes over!”

Steve dodges question after question on the flight back. In the back of his mind though, Steve wonders where Bucky’s trying to go. Maybe nowhere in particular, but they’d found him in Europe last time. He isn't going to stop. He’s going to help this time.

*****

Tony can’t help the incredible relief he feels when a dejected Steve comes back empty-handed, but it is promptly replaced with seething annoyance when Sam immediately asks him a question about the future.

“If I ask if I die in the future would it break time travel rules?”

“Goddammit, Steve!” Tony shouts and throws his hands up in the air. “You couldn’t last one measly mission!”

“No. I couldn't. I totally messed up, but I think it's a good thing.” Steve looks around before asking, “Why don't we all go grab dinner or something? Away from here?”

“That’s a good idea,” Tony growls at Steve before rounding on Sam. “You are lucky Clint and Natasha are out of the Tower right now and didn’t hear what you said.”

“Geez, my bad.” Sam puts his hands up in surrender.

“Everybody stand down. Let's go have a chat somewhere more secure.” Steve meditates.

“J, order some food. We’re going to go to the sub-level lab,” Tony spins on his heel and stomps to the lab. “Don’t say another word until we get there, Sam!”

“In the sub-levels no-one can hear you scream.” Steve says, giving Sam a playful nudge.

“Hey, man, I didn’t even know there was a sub-level lab. What the hell does he have down there?”

“A spaceship,” Tony throws back, just to watch Sam’s face scroll through disbelief, humor, suspicion, and annoyance.

“Is he kidding? I can’t tell if he’s kidding.”

“Just keep walking, Airman. You'll see.” Steve sounds happy despite returning empty handed.

Sam oohs and ahs when they get in the hidden elevator that goes to the sub-lab and absolutely loses it when he sees that Tony isn’t joking. The sub-lab is completely taken over by the ship. He starts running around looking at everything and asking questions non-stop.

“He wasn’t there?” Tony murmurs to Steve while Sam is still freaking out.

Steve leans against a work table beside Tony and crosses his arms. Tony tries very hard not to stare at his biceps.

“Already gone. He’s probably headed to Europe. He’s gonna be harder to find now.”

“Actually, he’s stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean and I have time to track every ship that left the port in that window. That means I can commandeer the cameras at the ports they are headed to. Wherever he lands, I’ll get a ping.”

They had to find the Soldier soon. It would be good for Steve, and make him less mad when Tony steals vibranium that belongs to the Wakandan government. It would also suck absolute ass for Tony, but that didn’t matter.

Steve drops his voice low, so only Tony can hear. “I have to see him. He was right in front of me when… well, I guess you know.”

Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good…

Tony shakes away the ghosts.

“I do get it. We’ll find him. I know what he means to you.”

Steve looks at him with soft eyes. “Thank you. Anyway…” He clears his throat a little, "I filled Sam in on a few things. Mostly about Thanos, so he knows the stakes here. He gave me some interesting information. Apparently Natasha thinks we are up to something. I'm not sure if she's asked the whole team about it or not. Sam said they mostly didn't take it seriously, but I think we should weigh the risk of telling everyone. At least the basics. It's hard to lie all the time, and we don't need anything dividing the team.”

“We’ve got at least the weekend to come up with a game plan. Nat and Clint left on a ‘secret mission’ but I’m pretty sure they went to the farm. This is around the time Nathan is born, I think.”

“Oh.” Steve says, a little surprised. "I guess we can weigh our options.”

Then he leans in a little towards Tony and tilts his head. “I am sorry for slipping up.”

Those hushed, low tones so close to his ear send a shiver down Tony’s spine. They both choose to ignore it, but there’s no way Steve missed it.

“It was bound to happen, we weren’t going to keep them in the dark forever. I just wish we’d made a little more progress on getting the vibranium before it happened.”

“You're awfully concerned about that. Should I be worried?”

Shit. He was not looking forward to telling Steve they had to steal it. “Not worried, but the sooner we have the Vision, the better.”

“He would certainly protect the Mind Stone better than we can. Well, we've got Sam now, so let's put him to work.”

“We need Vision. I’m not taking a chance on missing the window.”

“Why are you over there whispering when you should be telling me about the fucking spaceship!” Sam calls.

“All yours Mr. Big Brain,” Steve says. “I’m not comfortable figuring out what’s okay to say by myself. I've already messed up today.”

Steve pushes off the table and goes to join Sam near the ship, looking just as impressed.

Tony walks Sam and Steve through the ship and answers about a third of Sam’s questions. Yes, some of the stones are in space. Yes, they will have to go get those ones too. No, Tony isn’t sure who will go into space yet and who will stay on Earth. No, he doesn’t know any winning lottery numbers. No, he isn’t going to tell him which half of the people got snapped. Yes, everyone in the future called it getting snapped.

“The most important things you should be taking from this is to do what Steve and I tell you, and the Avengers must stay together, with as many members as we can recruit,” Tony concludes after letting Sam examine every inch of the spaceship twice.

“We’re already in a much better place now than we were last time when it comes to the team.” Steve adds. “Sam, your experience is going to be important in encouraging teamwork. We really need a united front this time.”

“Damn, what happened last time? I thought you said you’d only been here a couple months?”

Fuck! Steve and his lovely, stupid mouth.

“Well, um…” Steve fumbles. He turns to Tony with big ‘help me’ eyes. When Tony just shrugs he groans in frustration. “There was a big Avengers incident right after we got the Scepter, but we avoided it. I told you, things were rough for a little while.”

Sam narrows his eyes in scrutiny and then sighs. “I’m gonna leave that alone for now. I know a minefield when I see one.”

“Thank you. I promise I will tell you if there's something you need to know. We just need to keep things as predictable as possible.”

Tony nearly scoffs. If they were trying to keep things predictable then why was Steve trying so hard to find Bucky early? Oh, right. Because Bucky is his one true love and Steve’s cooperation and tolerance with Tony is dependent on the finding of Bucky.

Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.

“Great. No more questions,” Tony points at Sam, “And no more bean-spilling until I come up with a plan!” He swings the accusing finger squarely onto Steve. “Now get out of my lab, I’m busy.”

“Oh. Okay.” The mixed-signal bastard has the audacity to look disappointed. “We’ll get out of your hair. Come on, Sam.”

“Steve,” Tony’s traitorous mouth says before he can stop it.

Steve spins around with hope shining in his baby blue eyes and now Tony has to come up with something to say.

“If you have any ideas on explaining this to the others, you can send them to JARVIS.” He ends up saying.

“Right.” Steve gives him a nod and a smile that's a little too forced around the edges. “If you stay in here too long, I'm going to come drag you out for air.”

All Tony could think about were those big, strong hands dragging him somewhere else entirely and yup, he needed to go. Right now. Away. From Steve Rogers.

“Right- you- um,” Kill him now. “Yeah. Not too long.”

When Steve and Sam hit the stairs he can hear some insistent whispering. Sam elbows Steve, who elbows him back, and then they’re gone.

Tony stares at the wall for a solid two minutes and then steps into the elevator that goes directly up to his room. He needs a hot shower and at least two orgasms. This is getting ridiculous.

*****

Steam billows from Tony’s shower in hazy clouds as the hot water cascades from the shower heads. Everything about Tony’s shower is modded out for his convenience. There is a built-in bench, a sauna function, and the shower heads built into the walls had a variety of settings, all placed so that the water would hit at Tony’s shoulders or below. He can’t stand water pouring on his head or face. Not after Afghanistan.

Bathing had been difficult, when he first got home. He’d mostly gotten by with using a washcloth in the sink until Pepper commented on his greasy hair and extra liberal use of cologne one too many times, and he’d begun the arduous task of acclimating to water again.

He didn’t swim anymore. He could make himself do it, in an emergency situation, but he couldn’t enjoy it. Same with baths. He’d forced himself into hot tubs and his extremely expensive tub at the Malibu house, but while he could make himself stay in there for a good five minutes, he would be on the verge of a panic attack the whole time, desperately gulping in air, terrified the next breath would be the last before his head was shoved down and held there.

So, special shower. He could splash water on his face with his hands and use a very small attached hose to rinse his hair. The water hit his body and ran down to the drain and he didn’t have to just sit in it. Problem solved.

He did, however, have a new problem. His libido.

Last time around he did not have this problem. Afghanistan had killed his sex drive for a long time. Even when he and Pepper were their most sexually active, it had been a severe reduction of what he’d been like in his playboy days. He’d written it off as a combination of aging and trauma, and Pepper had been grateful he wasn’t as insatiable as she’d feared he’d be. Hurray.

Then the Battle of New York happened. He’d squared up with Captain America. And boy, the teenaged fantasies had come rushing back to the forefront. He’d meant to talk to Pepper about it. His silly crush on Captain America. The tension between them. But Aldrich Killian had blown up his life and three canceled arc reactor surgeries later, it hadn’t mattered. Then, only weeks later, the Triskelion fell and any chances he’d had with Steve were ripped away by the Winter Soldier. Then Ultron. The Sokovia Accords. A decade of loneliness punctuated by four drunken hookups with Pepper that only highlighted his inadequacies more and more. Yeah, the fabled sex drive of Tony Stark had shriveled up and died long before Thanos showed up.

But now, here Tony was, in a body eight years younger, with constant proximity to Captain America. It was like his penis completely forgot he wasn’t twenty anymore.

He’d stopped trying to fantasize about women a week ago. He’d spent his last life only letting himself have things he wanted that were debauched, sure, but acceptable. Women, booze, group sex, all of that was fine. He’d sucked plenty of dick, even been pegged on a few occasions, but he’d never let a man top him before. His shareholders could excuse a lot of things, but never that. Now, he didn’t give a fuck. None of that shit mattered. He wasn’t going to get what he wanted any time soon, but he could imagine it.

So he does. He imagines a world where Steve Rogers actually fucks him, instead of whatever weird dancing around each other they keep doing. He imagines huge super soldier fingers wrapping around his waist and moving Tony to exactly where Steve wants him. He imagines lips and teeth on his neck. He imagines the dildo attached to the shower wall is Steve, slowly sliding into him, all the way to the hilt.

It’s never enough, even when he’d upgraded to a bigger and bigger size, desperate to feel full and unable to get it.

Tony sobs when it pushes right onto his prostate and stretches him to his limits and he wishes his imagination was good enough to make the Steve in his head tell him how good he is, how he takes it so well, but it seems too far-fetched, so his fantasy Steve says nothing, just fucks into him hard.

He shoves and shoves and shoves himself against the wall, his hand flying desperately over his cock, but he’s never able to come until he shoves a few fingers into his mouth as well. Tony’s always been greedy. He wants too much, needs too much.

His dignity washes down the drain along with the water and his come.

*****

It is dark and cold, and aside from occasionally dodging crew that come into the hold for supplies, the asset lacks purpose. Assets are not meant for stillness without order. There is no mission, no instruction, just a drive in the asset’s mind to keep moving.

The asset does not have desires (he wants to see Steve) so he must continue to move, and escape capture. He becomes a greater liability with every mission, target, and elimination he remembers.

And all there is left to do is sit in the dark and remember.

The asset does not have a gun currently, but he sees himself pulling the trigger over, and over, and over, and over, and over. Sometimes he is the Winter Soldier, sometimes he is a Sergeant, but there is always blood, and death.

(Bucky lines up the shot while the perimeter guard takes a drink from his canteen. He has his helmet on, but that won't stop the bullet aimed cleanly at his exposed face. Bucky slowly exhales all the air in his lungs before squeezing the trigger. He does not inhale again until he watches the man crumple to the ground. He swings the rifle scope to the left in time to see Captain America ride in with the rest of the Howling Commandos. The shield on his back makes him unmistakable. Bucky allows himself to smile fondly, before hell breaks loose. The base has been alerted, and men scramble to take up their positions. Bucky searches for his next target.)

The asset is confused by the shiver that runs through his body. It is not cold enough in the cargo hold to affect his function. There is a contradictory warmth in his chest.

He has definitely been out of cryo for too long, without recalibration, if he is experiencing this level of malfunction.

This does not dissuade his attempts to remember more about Steve Rogers. If he has to relive the death of a hundred targets to gain one memory of Steve, it is acceptable.

Chapter Text

Sam is extremely excited for his first real Avengers mission, but Steve can't say the same. He hadn't expected Rumlow to show up this soon. It was still months before the heist he pulled in Lagos, and Steve would have remembered the maniac taking the Guatemalan government hostage, and demanding a rematch.

He wishes he’d had a moment alone with Tony to discuss it, but there hadn't been time. In fact, they hadn't been alone in the same room for days now– since the failed attempt to find Bucky.

Steve genuinely tries not to take it personally. It must be hard for Tony. Bucky represents when everything went wrong, not just in their own relationship, but with the entire team. It's not like Steve totally forgives Tony either. It's not uncommon for him to wake from nightmares of his teammates returning from the time heist without them, having wasted their only chance to recover the stones.

But they had been making progress– at least that’s how it seemed to Steve. Maybe Steve was the only one that felt that magnetic pull that drew him to Tony. Whatever the reason, Steve had spent the last four days avoiding Sam’s questions, and coming up with exercises to help Pietro hone his skills.

It felt strange to be mobilizing as the Avengers again, even if it was only four of them.

“They’ve taken the consulate. There are forty-six hostages,” Tony informs them from the cockpit. “And at least four explosive devices stationed around the building. We need to do recon and get the actual number of hostiles before we can assess if it’s a Code Green or not.”

Bruce looks like he might be sick. He’s clearly nervous with such a small team, and no Thor to keep him in check.

“Come on, Bruce,” Steve reassures him. “Hulk’s an Avenger too. You've got this.”

“I know. Last time went really well,” Bruce says it like a lifeline. “We’re just going to be in a civilian area, this time. It makes me nervous.”

“So you're gonna let Sam have all the fun?” Steve glances at his friend, who is also looking a little nauseous. “Oh, not you too! Don't want a rematch with Rumlow?”

“I definitely do!” Sam insists. “I just thought there would be more of us.”

“Well, sometimes you have to save the world on a budget. Right now the four of us are all those hostages have, so we make it count,” Tony adds.

“You’re right,” Bruce sighs. “I’m gonna do it. I just might throw up a little bit, first.”

“That's the spirit!” Steve says, trying not to betray his own nerves. Last time, Rumlow had been willing to hurt a whole lot of people just to have a crack at Steve, and he was entirely willing to take him down with him.

“Tony, I’ll put the bird down. You and Sam go ahead and get a better look. I’ll follow when you're ready.”

On his way up to the cockpit, Steve makes sure his back is turned to Bruce. He claps Sam on the shoulder, and quietly says, "This is new. Be careful.”

“Shit, already? Okay. Careful.” Sam gives him a grave nod.

Tony presses a button and the back hatch opens as his faceplate slides down. “Let’s fly.”

Steve wants to reach out as they pass each other, but that’s selfish, so he just nods. If Tony wants space, he needs to respect that. He takes the controls, and doesn't turn around to see them exit the jet. They both know what they're doing.

As soon as they are in the air Sam and Tony begin feeding information through the comms, along with various scans from JARVIS. The hostages are congregated on the third floor with six guards. Rumlowe and four other men are near the entrance. The quinjet has been spotted, and at least three snipers are set up at various angles.

“Something's off,” Steve says, landing in an empty parking lot nearby. Local police already evacuated the surrounding area. "He doesn't have nearly enough men. Tony or I could take out this many guys solo. He’s got something else up his sleeve.”

“Well, he told the Guatemalan government he had five bombs placed throughout the facility, so I would assume that number is wrong. He must have more somewhere.” Steve can hear the gears turning in Tony’s brain, even over the comms. He’s racing to figure out what Rumlowe is up to.

“Let's keep them on their toes, then. He expects a one-on-one with me, so I’ll help Tony with the bombs while Sam engages. Let's see if we can get him mad.” Steve opens the hatch and secures his shield to his back. "Bruce, you wanna hang back for now?”

“Save me for when you figure out what he wants,” Bruce says, leaning back in his chair and taking some deep breaths. “Everyone will be happier if I’m not needed. Especially me.”

“Hey, Rumlowe! Remember me? They only send Cap out for the important threats, so you’ll just have to tango with me, instead,” Sam engages Rumlowe and his men at the front.

A panel opens and two additional Iron Man units step out and take off as Steve heads out. They immediately head for the snipers.

Steve sprints for the building. The consulate is a large, three-story structure, surrounded by a ten-foot brick wall. There’s a large lawn at the front of the building– lots of open space.

“Tony, I’m coming around the back. I'll go in on the ground floor. Keep them busy in the front.”

Steve slows at the treeline to check for enemies, but it looks like the snipers have already been handled. He gets a bit of a running start, and jumps to get his hands on top of the wall. Then it's just a matter of pulling himself up and over.

“Roger, Rogers!” Tony chirps over the comms. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

The windows have bars, which won't stop him, but they’ll slow him down, so he goes for a garage-style door that looks like it's for deliveries.

“You’d better find a bomb quickly, because I won't know what to do with it.” He peels the edge of the aluminum door up like it's a sardine can. "I’m going in. Hold back ‘till I sweep this floor. How's Sam looking?”

There’s a good amount of light coming through the windows. This is clearly a storage area, so Steve makes his way through stacks of boxes and barrels, looking for anything bomb-like.

“He’s a little too busy to talk, but he’s definitely kicking Rumlowe’s ass,” Tony supplies. “This is a trap of some kind, or I’ll eat my boots.”

There was nothing to do for now but focus on finding the bombs. The storage area is clear, so Steve moves on to the ground-floor conference rooms. Still nothing until he reaches the large entryway.

“Tony, I’ve got explosives strapped to two pillars in the main entrance. They look structural.”

“Oh goody, my favorite. Gimme.” Steve can hear the Iron Man suit approaching. “Go find some more and I’ll take care of these.

“Guys, I found the trap” Bruce shouts over the comms. “There’s a second team headed for the quinjet!”

“Damn. Tony? Can you assist and disarm at the same time?”

Steve could try to take the goons out and evacuate the hostages, but he’s pretty sure they’ll have remote detonators, and it's not worth the risk. He needs to get these bombs off the board.

“JARVIS can run the other two suits through disarming,” Tony assures him. “I’ll go help Bruce.”

Moments later one of the empty suits flies through the window and starts examining the closest bomb.

Steve moves up to the second floor. There's no bombs or guards to be seen, so they must be with the hostages.

“Sam, you still alive?” He asks.

“Yeah,” Sam pants into his mic. “Took out his guys, but Rumlowe gave me some trouble. He just disengaged and ran off on me, so he must have been the distraction. Should I give chase or come help you?”

“Bad news, guys,” Tony interjects. “They’ve blow-darted Bruce with something and we are gonna have a Code Veronica any second now.”

Outside, the Hulk roars so loudly the windows shake.

“Code Veronica now!” Tony yelps.

“Shit!” Steve spits, pausing on his way up to the third floor. “Try to get him away from town. Sam! Meet me on the third floor. We have to move the hostages now!”

Steve readies his shield and bursts into the ballroom on the third floor, just in time to block a hail of gun fire.

“Hulk! Hey, buddy! Those guys shot you with something nasty, huh? Why don’t you come play with me instead of the nice people of Guatemala City, huh?”

Sam bursts through a window on the far side. Tucking his wings as he rolls to block the spray of bullets. “That thing Tony’s putting on out there seems cool and all, but are we sure he can handle it?” He calls as Redwing flanks the shooters.

“Good boy! Follow the birdie! Over here!”

“Not well, but it's what we’ve got.” Steve closes the distance with the first mercenary, and hits him so hard with the shield that he drops his gun. A kick sends it sliding away from the fight. The next guy unloads another clip into his shield. Where did Rumlowe find these guys? They’re a far cry from the former HYDRA agents Steve remembered facing in Lagos.

Sam lets Steve and Redwing handle the goons, and gets to work clearing a safe path to the stairwell for the hostages. Their comms go off every few seconds as Tony struggles to keep the Hulk’s attention.

“Ow! Jeezus, really? Not cool!” Tony shouts, and they hear an explosion.

A throw of his shield knocks two guys down. Once it returns to his arm, he uses it to bash another. When he turns to finish off the last two, he sees them retreating down a side stairwell.

Steve weighs his options. This was clearly some kind of trap to set Hulk off. Now that they were in the potential demolition zone, Rumlowe must have called for a retreat. He decides to prioritize the capture of the men he has here– to question later– and getting the hostages to safety.

“Tony, do you need backup?”

“Nope!” Another explosion outside. “He’s pissed, but not like the first time. He seems happy to play tag right now.”

“Okay, Sam. Start evacuating. I'll make sure our new friends here don't give us the slip.” Steve pulled out a wad of zip-ties, and began to tie up the incapacitated guards.

By now, the empty suit had finished disarming the bombs downstairs, and was working on the first one a few feet from Steve.

“No no no buddy, that’s not a government building! Why don’t we go play over here? Yeah, you did not like that let’s just-“ Tony’s running commentary at the Hulk is cut off by a shout of pain.

“Tony?” Sam calls.

“Oh, fuck you, Hulk!” Tony wheezes.

Steve’s heart clenches, but he locks it down. The only thing he can do right now is what’s in front of him. Forty-eight hostages, three mercenaries. They all need to get out of this building, and away from the fighting.

He and Sam herd the frightened, relieved captives out the front doors and onto the lawn. Thankfully none of them are severely hurt. They need to get them to a road so they can be picked up by local government transports.

The front lawn is a mess, but Tony had successfully lured the Hulk away from where the hostages needed to go. There were several wrecked vehicles, and huge chunks of the lawn were ripped up. There was also a Hulkbuster-shaped crater in the driveway.

Steve runs in front of the group to bash open the gate, which had been sealed shut with some chain and pad locks.

“Sam, fly ahead and flag down the authorities to pick these people up. Do not engage Hulk. Tony, position?”

“There’s a park thingy on the south end of the facilities. Whatever they hit him with, it looks like his system is burning through it pretty quickly. I think we might be able to get him to calm down without having to drop a skyscraper on him.”

“We’re taking the hostages northeast. Hold out a little longer.”

Steve tries to focus. He tells himself he’d just be in the way, over and over again. When he finally hears sirens approaching his shoulders sag with relief. Above catching Rumlowe, or figuring out why they wanted to set off Hulk, the most important thing is rescuing these people.

Sam flies around a corner, leading a parade of emergency vehicles. People cheer, and cry, and shake his hand. One older woman kisses him on the cheek.

It feels good to be protecting people again. After the blip, he’d essentially retired, leaving things to Natasha and the others. He’d failed not just his planet, but every planet. It was hard to find a reason to fight after that.

But Captain America isn’t meant to fight. Not really. He’s a shield, not a sword.

Once he hands the captives off to local police he finally allows himself to turn back to the fight. Things are too quiet.

When he finds them, Hulk is sitting on the ground next to an inert Hulkbuster. He looks… upset? It’s strange to see an emotion in his face that isn’t anger or smug confidence.

But far more pressing, is the unmoving Hulkbuster. Where is Tony?

“Hulk, buddy.” Steve approaches slowly. “Are you feeling better?”

There is a sort of terror from being next to the Hulk that never really goes away. Not when Steve knows exactly what he’s capable of. No matter how many times they’ve fought side-by-side, a little bit of that fear remains.

“Metal Man not moving,” Hulk honest-to-god pouts. “Said he needs a nap. Wait here for Shield Man.”

Steve forces himself to continue moving slowly towards the suit. He can't help Tony if he startles Hulk and gets sent flying. The suit– which Steve knows was brand new– is completely battered. How is he supposed to get it open?

“Tony? Can you hear me?”

No response.

“JARVIS, get him out of there.”

“Mr. Stark’s comms were damaged in the fight,” JARVIS projects from somewhere in the mass of metal. “The Iron Man suit is intact, but Mr. Stark requires manual extraction from Veronica. He is unconscious, and sustained several injuries, but is not in critical condition.”

Not critical. Not critical.

“Okay. What’s the best way to crack this open?” Steve doesn't pretend to understand how the suits work, and he doesn't want to make things worse.

“Detach the helmet and then remove the shoulder pauldrons,” JARVIS instructs. “You should be able to pull Mr. Stark out through the top. Do not worry about further damage to Veronica.”

Steve stands behind the head and makes sure he has a good stance. This thing is built tough, but it's designed to come apart for repairs, so he should be able to do it. He digs his fingers into the seam of the helmet and pulls as hard as he can. The gold-titanium alloy is incredibly durable, but eventually he feels it giving under his efforts.

“Come. On. Veronica.” he grunts. He readjusts his stance, relaxes his muscles, and then yanks it with a twisting motion. The head snaps off and nearly knocks him off his feet.

He glares at Hulk when he lets out an amused huff.

The chest piece opens into four panels that move to the sides, so he starts with the top right one. It's a bit easier to get started since he’s moving it along its natural hinge.

“S-Steve?” Tony calls, but it’s muffled without his mic. The blue glow of the arc reactor helps Steve orient where the Iron Man suit is.

“Hold on Tony, you're coming out.”

The first piece finally wrenches free. He can see the shiny armor now, but no helmet. He moves around to the other shoulder. Steve pulls, using his legs to push against the armor. He has to take a second to wipe the sweat from his eyes. It's a lot, even for his enhanced strength.

“Okay. How’s Hulk?” The strain in Tony’s voice means he’s in pain, but if he was severely injured he’d be trying to hide it. So JARVIS’ assessment was probably accurate.

“He feels better, don't you Hulk?” It's strange he hasn't turned back into Banner by now, but Steve has other priorities.

Steve groans from the strain, but the latch pries free. He’s breathing hard, and his arms feel like jelly.

“Hulk sorry. Hulk hit Metal Man. Don’t know why.” Hulk grumbles.

“It’s okay, big guy, you didn’t mean it,” Tony assures. “And I’m gonna be just fine. Steve, when you lift me out don’t raise my arms. Left one is dislocated.”

“Okay.” Steve attempts to catch his breath. “I'm gonna try and pull you out from here.”

The Iron Man suit is free from the chest up, but Steve will have to pull the lower half out. He’s not sure he can pry another panel open, so he decides to go for it.

“Try to hold still.” Steve reaches in and down, getting his hands around the waist of the suit, and heaves Tony up.

“Ohmygod,” Tony gasps, more in surprise than pain. The faceplate slides open. “Hulk, can you grab those feet there and just slide them away from me? Yeah, just like that. Just a little bit.”

Hulk nods and grabs both of Veronica’s huge boots and drags the rest of the armor free and away from Tony and Steve.

The moment Tony is loose, Steve catches the full weight of the Iron Man suit, and has to wrap his arms around him to keep him from dropping. Before he knows what’s happening he’s reeled Tony in close to place him back on his own feet.

“Oh. Hey there,” Tony blinks at him in surprise. “My hero.”

“I'm not the one who fought Hulk.” God, his face is so close. If he wanted space so much, why wasn't he moving? Oh right. Steve had his arms around him. He should really stop that.

“Sirs, I hate to interrupt, but you’ll want to head to the quinjet immediately. Ninety seconds after Dr. Banner transformed, a proposition on enhanced human safety and control was submitted to the UN by the United States.” JARVIS reports.

Steve’s heart drops. They should have known it was only a matter of time. This was a much bigger trap than they could have imagined. He lets go of Tony and clears his throat.

“Sam,” Steve says into his com, “Wrap it up. We need to go. Hulk, it won’t be comfortable for you in the plane. We need Banner back.”

“No!” Hunk insists, crossing his massive arms. “Banner sleeping. Hulk time.”

Oh boy.

“Okay, if you can't change back you have to be really gentle. Tony,” Steve tries to hide the anxiety in his voice, although it’s a relief to see his face. “Can you walk? The quinjet is on the other side of the building.”

“Mr. Stark has a broken rib and severe swelling in his right knee,” JARVIS replies before Tony can say anything. “He should be extracted from the suit as soon as possible.”

“Uh huh.” Steve is still standing close to Tony, so he scoops him up, bridal style. It's the best way to carry him with a dislocated shoulder, and a knee injury. “Thanks JARVIS. I had a feeling you were hurt worse than you let on. Let's get to the jet, and get this suit off you.”

Steve resolutely fights down a blush when he realizes what he's just said, and hopes no-one will call him out on it.

“Ugh, I knew you only wanted me for my body.” Tony says it with a teasing lilt to his voice. “They always say they wanna take it slow but as soon as the date’s over they just try to get me naked.”

Steve bites his tongue. He shouldn't engage. Keep it professional. Keep it professional.

Steve mutes his com. “I’m really glad you're okay. This is really bad, isn't it?” He wasn't talking about his injuries.

“Yeah. Getting the ship ready is more important than ever,” Tony agrees. “I hope you’re ready to tell the UN to go fuck itself because we just don’t have time for the Accords again.”

“You don't have to sell me on the concept, remember?” He keeps his voice soft. They’re getting close to some very bad memories, but it can't be helped now. “We have to be able to act unilaterally here. More than our own planet is at stake.”

“It’s nice to be on the same page, for once,” The side of Tony’s helmet rests against Steve’s shoulder.

Are they really? Steve’s not so sure, but right now he’ll take what he can get. There are more important things to worry about, but Steve can't help but appreciate the weight of Tony in his arms. It's going to be a real shame when he has to put him down.

*****

One broken rib, a dislocated shoulder, and a banged up knee. All in all, not too terrible for duking it out with the Hulk for almost seven minutes.

That minute in Steve’s arms had kind of made it worth it, though.

They climb back into the quinjet and Tony makes sure all of the cameras crowding near the entrance get a good sound bite of him saying he’ll be paying for the damages to the Guatemalan government’s buildings from his own salary and calmly escorting Hulk into the quinjet.

Then he lets Sam reset his shoulder before laying down on a bench and breathing through the pain. He takes a couple of ibuprofen and swats Steve away when he tries to look at his ribs. If he lifts up the special shirt he wears under his clothes at all times Steve will see that he still has an arc reactor in his chest. The only people who ever knew about that were Pepper and Happy, and his doctor.

He doesn’t have time to be doped up on pain meds. Someone was moving for Avengers oversight right now and they needed to get on top of it.

“Gimme the details, J.”

“As soon as Hulk appeared, a committee led by General Ross sent out a statement in regards to the Hulk’s rampage and petitioned the UN to lay down international law in regards to super heroes and enhanced individuals. They also provided a first draft of what those regulations might look like.”

“Sonofabitch!” Tony groans.

“He was sitting around, waiting for an opportunity like this, and when one didn't appear he decided to make one himself.” Steve shakes his head. “How did we do on damage control?”

“Not too bad, all on government property, except for maybe the couple cars he threw at me. And the truck he backhanded me with.” Steve hands him an ice pack and he gratefully wraps it around his knee. “Ross expected a full-on rampage, but he didn’t get one. Either he didn’t know about Veronica, or the drug they hit Banner with was supposed to be a lot stronger.”

“No casualties and minimized damage. Just what we like to hear.” Steve says. “Good job Hulk!”

Steve is giving Tony some kind of look. He flicks his eyes over towards Hulk. They can't speak freely in front of him.

“Yeah, good job! Why don’t you put on Banner’s headphones and listen to some music?”

“No. Banner listens to nasty music. Makes Hulk sleepy. Not falling for that.” Hulk scowls.

“I meant cool music. You seem like a thrash metal kind of guy. Just give it a chance. If you don’t like it you can just turn it off.”

Hulk thinks about it for a minute, glancing between Steve and Tony. “Okay. Hulk try thrash.”

“Excellent. Steve? Can you get our guy set up?”

Before long, Hulk is bobbing his head to Testament, turned up so loud that the baseline can be heard faintly through the headphones.

When he seems sufficiently distracted, Steve asks, “What can we let Sam know? This is going to get ugly if we go it alone.”

“We can tell him about the Accords, but not about what caused it. And that it broke the team. That we aren’t letting them do that again.”

God, it made him fucking furious. Ross was always going to pull this shit, he was just waiting for an excuse. And Tony was dumb enough to give him several, the last time around.

Sam makes it back after a few minutes, and they take off. Hulk is slapping his knees in time, presumably enjoying the heavy drums and electric guitar. Once they are in the air Sam gives them an expectant look.

“Are you familiar with General Thaddeus Ross?” Steve asks, glancing to make sure Hulk didn't hear.

“Yeah. I know that asshole. Involved in a bunch of shady super soldier stuff, right?”

“Chased poor Bruce to the ends of the Earth and terrorized him? Yeah, that guy.” Tony leans into his seat and tries not to take too deep of breaths. His ribs are throbbing with pain. “He’s trying to break up the band, again, even though none of the stuff that caused that to happen last time happened this time.”

“Okay that was way too vague,” Sam says over his shoulder.

“They want to put a leash on heroes, specifically the Avengers.” Steve says, not trying to hide his bitterness. “They'll bill the proposal as providing oversight, but it really just chains us to the government. All enhanced individuals had to sign it to operate. They required a registry, biometric and DNA samples, power assessment and threat evaluation. Heroes were beholden to their government, and could not operate outside of their own country without authorization. Anyone who didn't sign was allowed to be detained indefinitely.”

“What the fuck?” Sam mutters under his breath. “How did it get that bad?”

“It's a big part of why we lost. Last time was in the wake of a much larger disaster, so we might have an easier time opposing it.”

Steve keeps hovering over Tony like he can somehow cure his injuries by proximity.

“Ross played his hand way too early. Hulk did some damage, but contained damage. No civilian or law enforcement injuries. He’ll never get enough countries to back it.” Tony insists, readjusting his ice pack.

Steve frowns, and brings a cushion to prop his leg up. “Do you think it's time to bring everyone up to speed? It seems a little sloppy, but we can't allow these accords to go through, no matter what.”

Ugh. Steve always has it backwards. “That’s exactly why we can’t tell anyone else, now. Our time table easily just got halved, and we don’t have time to answer questions. The more people we tell the longer and bigger this gets. They’ll think they get a say in what happens.”

Sam’s tone is quiet but sharp as he says, “Are you saying we don’t get a choice in what happens, Tony?”

Steve averts his eyes with a pained look. He doesn't jump to defend or condemn, but he does look extremely fucking guilty.

This was why they shouldn’t have told anyone in the first place. Tony is so mad he could spit fire.

“You know what? Yeah, I am. You have no idea what’s coming, what’s out there, and I do. I will drag this whole planet to victory, kicking and screaming, if I have to,” he snarls.

“Tony,” Steve says softly. “How could he know? I know it's hard to imagine, when the stakes are so crazy, but there is more to lose than any of us could have imagined. Last time, everyone had a choice, and we chose wrong. Over and over again.”

“Don’t mistake me,” Sam says. “I’m still on your team. I trust you, and I think you have the big picture of what needs to happen. But you have to think about what it looks like if you start steamrolling over the opinions of the rest of the team.”

The man has a point.

Tony sighs and puts a hand over his face. This is all so frustrating.

“As long as the team stays together, and we can keep the Accords from passing, it won't matter what they think of our methods. We just need everybody to make it to the fight.” It’s an uncharacteristically pragmatic statement, coming from Steve. They are the only ones who know just how bad things can get.

“I’m with you guys,” Sam assures him. “Can’t say how anyone else will feel, but I know how to follow orders, and who to get them from.”

They discuss how they’re going to handle Ross, and agree that they just can’t handle the additional interference and pressure of telling the rest of the team. They will, as soon as the Accords are squashed. And– Tony thinks– after he’s stolen the vibranium he needs.

Steve wants the whole medical staff to be there when they arrive back at the tower, but Tony talks him into just having his personal doctor. The one who knows about the reactor, and knows how to keep it quiet. By the time they've landed back in New York, Hulk has yet to transform back and a hundred news outlets are trying to contact them.

Tony schedules a press conference for the morning and has JARVIS pull all of the relevant statistics about the battle so that Ross won’t be able to get away with exaggerating what happened. He may have a head start on the UN, but nobody puts a media spin on things quite like Tony Stark.

He has a lot of work to do. If Banner hasn’t changed back by morning they might even be able to get a viral clip of him just hanging out in the Tower, not being a rage monster. He needs to find out when Clint and Natasha will be back and-oh, look at that, his legs aren’t working. He wobbles on the landing platform, and is immediately grabbed up by the hands he has got to stop fantasizing about.

“Don't bother resisting.” Steve says softly. “I'm helping, whether you like it or not.”

“Fine,” Tony grumbles and does not burrow into those incredible muscles or whimper or swoon or anything else stupid. “Straight to my room, please.”

“Hulk? Why don't you hang out with Sam? You can pick a movie to watch or something.” Steve takes him straight to the elevator. Once they are headed up Steve says, "Good work. This would have been a disaster without you.”

Why wasn’t he allowed to suck this man off? The more he talks like that the more Tony can’t remember the gulf of issues between them that make that a terrible idea.

Bucky Barnes. Right.

“Iron Man saves the day once again, and foots the bill for the damages,” Tony grumbles. “Room. Doctor. Sleep for twenty years.”

“Nope.” Steve smiles down at him. "You don't get to build a spaceship and just leave the rest of this mess with me.”

God damn him and his perfect everything.

“Can you stop being cute for two seconds and get me to my doctor? I’m injured, over here.” And gonna have a heart attack if Steve doesn’t cut it out.

“I can get you to the doctor. Not sure I can manage that first one.”

Tony’s gonna die, or end up a home wrecker. Probably both.

*****

The asset makes his way through a maze of alleys leading from the port into the heart of the city. He’ll get as far as he can on foot and then get on a train. If he were allowed to question orders, he would wonder why he continues to run, but he is not, so he doesn’t.

He picks the pocket of an unsuspecting tourist, and spends all the cash in his wallet on street food. It was a long journey, and the asset is beginning to feel weak from hunger. Weakness will not be tolerated.

When night falls, he finds a park and climbs up into a tree, where he should be safe for a few hours. He is capable of continuing, but he determines it would be better to be at full strength with so many people around.

He closes his eyes, and pictures Steve.

(It’s too damn cold. Surely even Nazis take a break when it’s this cold. According to their orders, that's not the case.

All of the Howling Commandos decided to double up in tents tonight so they don't wake up missing a toe, or a finger. Bucky knows it’s asking for trouble, but he bunks with Steve anyway. They’ve slept like this before, during the freezing New York winters, after Stevie’s mom died, and they couldn’t always afford heat. Being close to Steve in those moments felt nice, like they were wrapped in their own little kingdom. Like the rest of the world didn’t matter. They could hold each other, and be in love, just for a little while.

It’s an entirely different ballgame this time. This time they aren’t kids anymore, and Stevie’s grown into– well– Captain America.

So here Sergeant Barnes lies, next to the most perfect body ever made, that also happens to be the boy he’s loved since before he can remember, and he can't do a damn thing about it. Steve is unbelievably warm, his back radiating heat against Bucky’s own. That has to be enough.

Bucky adjusts his pants, and prays that dawn comes soon.)

Steve told the asset they’d known each other their whole lives, that they were best friends. Steve was very important to Bucky Barnes, that much is clear from the memories. How could proximity to someone be so wonderful and torturous at the same time? Perhaps he can’t understand because he is no longer a person.

The asset’s whole body feels warm as he tries to play the memory back again.

Chapter Text

Tony asks Steve to leave when the doctor arrives, and Steve can't find a good reason to object. It's not like he’d be of any help, really.

He can't make himself leave Tony’s floor though, so he hangs around in the sitting room like a lovesick puppy. Every time he tells himself he’s going to back off, he caves immediately. He’s been alone for so long, and he gets carried away when Tony flirts back. Every unresolved problem and wound they’d inflicted faded away when Tony was in his arms.

Peggy said Steve needs Bucky, and that's true, but they had never allowed themselves to be more than friends. Even when they were reunited, the Winter Soldier had prevented things from growing any further. Steve has no reason to believe that will change this time around. He has too much love in his heart and Tony is right here.

But he’s terrified of getting hurt again. He remembers what might have been Tony’s last words to him, if his plans to travel to the past hadn't been hijacked.

Fuck you, Steve.

“Mr. Stark says you may stop pacing and come in now,” JARVIS says. Steve hears the lock on Tony’s door click open.

He hasn’t been in Tony’s room before. They always meet in one of the common areas or labs.

Tony is sat up against the headboard, in the middle of an enormous bed. It's what Steve would expect– modern and a little showy, but somehow comfortable.

“JARVIS? How long did the Doctor say Tony should rest?”

“No getting out of bed until morning, no lab for a week. He can do work on his tablet, but shouldn’t use any of the larger projection screens for a few days.”

“Traitor,” Tony grumbles. He’s wearing the black tank top he always wears under everything. He says over and over when asked that it’s for the suit, for making getting in and out easier, but Pepper implied once that it had something to do with the scarring from where the arc reactor once sat.

Steve stands awkwardly next to the bed. “You should really put a manual release in Veronica. That was a little scary, when I couldn't hear you, and I didn't know how to open it. Anyway, you should rest. It's been a long day, and tomorrow will be even longer.”

He says the words, but he doesn't move to leave.

“She’s getting a complete overhaul. It was on my list of projects to upgrade, but I hadn’t gotten to it yet because I assumed we’d avoided a Hulk rampage.” Tony sighs and looks far away. “What if some of these things are inevitable? I thought I knew what was happening- and I don’t. We're so far back. I don’t know anything”

Steve sits tentatively on the side of the bed. “We saved Sokovia. We saved Pietro. We saved Johannesburg and Lagos. All those people who died, or lost their homes are alive and well because of changes we made. I have to believe that counts for something.”

“I used to think the Accords were my fault. A well-deserved punishment for Ultron, and thinking I could bring anything to the world besides more destruction.” Tony looks so fragile as he sits there, sheets pooled around his waist, tugging absentmindedly at his shirt. “Now I realize they were always just waiting for an excuse to leash us, and even when we do everything right, they try to manufacture it instead. I just feel so stupid.”

“Tony…” Steve wants to reach over, and touch his face, or pull him into a hug. He’s touched him too casually and now he wants more. He stays put by some feat of will. "Their strongest advantage last time was you. If we oppose them together, they've got nothing to stand on. They can't even manufacture an incident as bad as one we made on accident. We are still ahead of this.”

“Thanks Steve. Just- thanks.”

Tony seems like he wants to talk. Should Steve try to keep the conversation going? What if they stumble across a sensitive subject for the hundredth time?

“You're gonna eat their guys for breakfast. Seriously. And their second strongest champion is your best friend. Even if you don't want to tell Rhodey everything, he should recognize a setup when he sees one.”

Tony turns a little pink, just around the ears and cheeks, and looks away. “You’re awfully generous with the compliments tonight, Cap. Make sure you save some of that dazzling charisma for the cameras tomorrow.”

“I'm really just doing it to make myself feel better. I wish I could have been any help with Hulk.” Steve knows he can't do everything on a mission, but he hates thinking about Tony fighting alone, and ending up hurt.

“Someone had to take care of Hulk, and several someones needed to deal with the hostages and the bombs. We all have our strengths.” Tony shrugs, still a tiny bit flushed on the back of his neck. Steve wants to lean in and find out how flushed he can really get.

He settles more comfortably on the bed, next to Tony. They aren't close enough to touch, so it should be fine. "Why don't we look at the timeline and make sure we’re still on track? I know you won't rest properly until we do.”

“Oh, okay.” He sounds surprised, but not upset. “JARVIS can pull it up on my tablet.”

They plot into the night, adjusting priorities, and coming up with a few backup plans. They also try to brainstorm what else Ross might have up his sleeve.

Tony tugs at his shirt for the third time in five minutes and Steve sighs. “You can tell me if you're uncomfortable. You don't have to indulge me. If it's about your scar it's not going to bother me, but if I'm keeping you up I can go.”

Steve will leave if Tony asks him to.

“No-it’s just…” Tony trails off, looking conflicted. “I don’t know how to- it’s been too long and now I don’t know how to talk about it.”

“Okay. You don't have to. It's none of my business.” But it seems like he wants to talk about it.

Tony nods, and sighs again, and takes a few deep breaths, still fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “Y’know what, fuck it. I’m gonna be trapped in this thing forever if I don’t. Can you help lift this thing off of me? I can’t raise my arm.”

Steve holds his breath as he gingerly lifts Tony's arms, like that might calm his racing heart. He has to get up on his knees and lean over him a little. He holds both of his hands up in his right, and uses his left to lift the shirt as quickly as he can. When the shirt is off, arms back down, Steve nearly gasps.

The arc reactor remains embedded in Tony’s chest. Steve had never seen it in person before, but there it is, set into the skin, glowing a soft blue. At first Steve thinks they must have gone back before Tony had his surgery, but that doesn't add up. That would have been– what? Two years before now?

“You never took it out.” Steve breathes softly. His eyes are glued to the blue light, and the way it illuminates Tony’s whole chest.

“Pepper hated it,” Tony can barely talk, his voice small and hoarse. “Couldn’t look at it, couldn’t touch it. She wanted it gone. And I didn’t want to be alone. But I couldn’t do it. It’s a part of me. It’s- I can’t be me without it anymore.”

Before he can stop himself, his fingers hover over it. "Can I…” Oh, God this was stupid.

“Please,” Tony breathes, and then blinks at himself in shock. “I mean…”

Steve’s fingertips tap the center, before tracing around the edge in a circle. He feels Tony’s breath catch, and he wants to hear it again. His fingers leave the rim and run along the ring of scars that connect Tony to his heart. Not his heart, more like his soul.

“Oh!” Tony gasps, so quietly, and his whole chest jumps a little at the touch. But he bites his lip and keeps letting Steve touch, eyes glued to the hand on his chest.

He continues to trace the pattern, circle and triangle. It's almost hypnotic. It's a marvel and a vulnerability, all in one. It's only when he feels the heat pooling in his own body that he forces himself to stop, placing his palm flat across the reactor.

“It's beautiful.”

“Steve…” Tony says, and it’s part wonder, part exasperation. “What the hell are we doing?”

“I'm being very selfish.” Steve says earnestly. "Should I stop?”

“You should. We both should.” Tony sounds like it’s the last thing in the world he wants. The arc reactor thrums underneath Steve’s palm.

“Right.” Steve says, like that answers any of the questions burning in his head. “We should.”

But he can't actually think of a reason why they have to, when they both seem to want more. Was it really so wrong to be this lonely? To feel that tug towards another person and just let himself give in to it.

It doesn't matter what he thinks Tony wants. It matters what Tony says, and Tony said he should stop.

Steve pulls his hand away and moves towards the edge of the stupidly large bed.

“Wait!” Tony’s hand shoots out to touch Steve’s, and he winces in pain at the movement. “Wait. Stay.” Please, Steve could hear echoing after, even if Tony didn’t say it out loud.

“Okay.” Steve settles against the headboard, their shoulders touching. “I’ll stay.”

Clearly Tony isn't ready for the way Steve feels, but maybe, just for tonight, they don't have to be so damn alone.

*****

Tony normally wakes up startled. He tends to go from unconscious one second to gasping awake and full of adrenaline the next. It’s just how his traumatized brain works these days.

But this particular morning he wakes to a stabbing pain in his ribs as a cuddling super soldier tries to tug him even tighter against him.

“Steve!” Tony hisses, writhing in the iron grip and unable to do anything but make it worse. Normally he would find that incredibly sexy, but right now it was not. “Ow ow ow wake up you ass!”

“What?” Steve’s voice is deeper first-thing in the morning, which Tony definitely didn't need to know. “Oh! Sorry!” Steve releases him as he wakes more fully.

Tony flops into a position that involves less agony. And then Steve starts trying to move out from under him again so Tony smacks his shoulder with his uninjured hand. “Quit moving! Quit it!”

Steve freezes, his whole body tense, and looks up at him with big blue eyes. He looks surprised, and his face is flushed. “Not moving. I'm not moving.”

“Just stay here a minute and let my ribs have a break. You don’t have to look like a kicked puppy.” Tony grumbles and tries not to think about how close their faces are. Ribs, agony, remember? Much more important than the proximity of Steve Roger’s lips to his own.

“I'm sorry.” Steve’s eyes search his face. “I didn't mean to grab you like that.”

This man.

“I’m not mad at you Steve, it happens. I know you didn’t.”

“Right.” Steve offers him a half-smile. “Good morning.” It sounds a little more like a question than a greeting.

“I think we’re still in good morning territory,” Tony agrees. It must be early, because JARVIS hasn’t interrupted with the alarm he’d set to give him enough time to get ready before the press conference. He stretches a bit from where he’s draped across Steve’s massive chest. “Possibly a very good morning, we’ll see how things go.”

“Oh?” Steve’s hands come around to rest on Tony’s bare shoulder blades. It’s not really a hug, just a steadying motion. It’s like he’s asking for something, but Tony isn't sure what it is.

“I mean, not too great of a morning. Because broken ribs. But. I’m a creative guy.” Oh, great. He’s taken the euphemism too far and now he’s just babbling. He was Tony Fucking Stark. Where had all of his charisma and sexual charm vanished to?

“Oh.” Steve’s fingers flex against his back just a little. “Really good morning.”

Was this actually happening? Was Tony propositioning Steve for some kind of sex that wouldn’t jostle his ribs too much? Did Steve understand said propositioning? Normally Tony was so straight forward about these kinds of things. But with Steve, he couldn’t bring himself to ask for what he wanted, which he shouldn’t want for reasons that seemed just so very far away at the moment.

One hand moves up to cup the back of his neck, and the other runs down towards the small of his back. “Tony, I–”

“Mr. Stark, your alarm will go off in ten minutes, but Mr. Barton and Ms. Romanoff will be here in five.”

Goddammit, JARVIS.

Tony groans and rolls off of Steve, despite the horrid pain in his side. “I was wrong. Bad morning. Worst.”

Steve huffs a laugh, and rolls out of bed. He’s in the same white t-shirt and tan pants he’d worn last night. Tony catches something about ‘bad timing’ muttered under his breath.

“Do you need a hand, or should I go ahead?” he asks, like the absolute sweetheart he is.

“I could use some help getting the undershirt back on,” he admits, already desperately missing those hands on his body and knowing that he shouldn’t. But he really did need help with it. “But I can manage the rest.”

“Of course.” Steve finds it somewhere in the blankets and helps get it over his head. He smooths it down, and places a palm over the now-covered reactor. “Do you want me to bring everyone up here, so you can stay off your knee?”

Ew. Other people in his room? No. Tony’s nose scrunches in disgust. “That’s sweet of you, but I’ve got to do the press conference downstairs soon, anyway. Might as well do this in the common areas.”

Steve rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling when he steps away. “Okay, well… I guess I’ll see you down there.”

“Right.”

Why can’t he just tell Steve to kiss him before he leaves? It’s what he wants, more than anything. Maybe that’s why he can’t open his stupid mouth and say it. He wants it too much, and it’s terrifying. This is terrible.

When Steve gets to the door, he turns back and says, “Maybe we can try for that good morning next time.” He doesn't wait for Tony to respond.

Next time? Steve wants there to be a next time.

Instead of thinking about what he’s going to say to the press or the UN or his fellow Avengers he spends the next few minutes getting ready and realizing just how much he’s fucked up.

He’d almost let Steve… well, do whatever he wanted to him, really. And wouldn’t that have been awful? Not during, of course, he imagined anything with Steve would be incredible. But could Tony live with himself afterwards? Not easily.

He put on his Tony Stark outfit and his Tony Stark smirk, complete with sunglasses and ridiculously expensive cologne. He needed a different kind of armor to survive the day, especially if he was going to turn down an honest-to-god proposition from Steve Rogers.

Because he was. Going to turn him down. He couldn’t stand being a home wrecker or a place holder on top of everything else, no matter what his dick seemed to think. Steve was so lonely he just almost cheated on Bucky. And Tony was going to have to be the responsible one and shut it down.

Teammates. Media circus. Tell Ross to go to hell. Break his own heart. Quite the list for the day. Well. One step at a time. Tony heads down to deal with, well, everything.

Everyone is gathered in the main living room, which opens into the community kitchen. Hulk is sitting on one of the generously sized couches, pouring a box of cereal directly into his mouth. Clint stands beside him– laughing– with Natasha on his right. Sam and Steve sit on the couch opposite Hulk. They almost look like one big, happy family.

“Jesus, Tony. We were only gone a couple of days, and look at the shit you got into.” Clint prods with an amused smile.

“Yeah, well while you were on a tropical island vacation, General Ross decided it was a good idea to manufacture a Hulk rampage.” He knows they were at the farm with Laura and the new baby, but he can’t exactly say that.

Tony does his best not to limp into the kitchen and begins making his coffee one handed.

“Has he been Hulk ever since?” Natasha asks, staring at Hulk with open concern.

“Yup. Banner sleepy. Hulk’s turn.” Hulk says around a mouthful of cereal.

Steve crosses his arms. “We thought he burned through whatever drug they gave him, since he calmed down pretty quickly, but it's been about 18 hours. Could be intentional, could be an accident. This whole thing has been pretty sloppy on Ross’s part.”

“Do you have any proof that Ross started it? Besides weird timing?” Clint asks.

“Just that the statement came out before anyone other than us or Rumlowe’s team could have reported it,” Tony says, “and the wording of his statement implied much much more damage than what actually occurred. J is looking for a paper trail, but despite their sloppy execution, the planning was pretty airtight.”

He can’t get the milk open with just one hand so he decides black is fine and heads into the living room.

“They sent us a copy half an hour ago.” Steve frowns. “It's really, really long, but there's already a lot in the proposal I don't like. It's like the World Security Counsel, but more invasive. We can't afford to be dragged down by red tape when there's an emergency.”

“But shouldn’t there be some sort of rules to what we do? To what other enhanced humans in other countries do?” Natasha asks. It’s a valid question, one Tony had whole-heartedly agreed with years prior.

“Sure,” Tony agrees, “I’m not saying no to some superhero laws, I’m saying no to these superhero laws proposed by people with an agenda.”

“Have you heard from Rhodey?” Steve asks. “Did he know anything about this? They haven't said anything about getting input from actual heroes. It all just seems… fishy. Putting them forward before they have an endorsement is weird. The only reason they would put all this together without collaborating with us is if they suspect we won't like what's in it.”

“And if Hulk had ended up hurting civilians and rampaging through Guatemala City, we probably would have been too devastated to fight it,” Tony says with the certainty of experience. “Oh, I hope nobody minds that I dropped a bunch of files from the Abomination Incident and several other failed super soldier projects of Ross’ on Reddit and Wikileaks this morning.”

He takes a sip of his coffee and wobbles a bit on his feet. Damn knee. Steve catches his eye and pats the empty spot next to him on the couch. Tony ignores him.

“So what’s our official position?” Clint opens a new box of Frosted Flakes and hands it to Hulk. “Gotta stick together, blah blah blah.”

“Our official position is the UN can kiss my ass,” Tony hisses. “And General Ross can go to hell.”

The room erupts in “whoas” and “hold on Tony's,” but he doesn't care.

“How about we say we haven't been consulted on anything yet, and we need time to form an official stance, but we have some immediate concerns.” Steve suggests.

“Yeah yeah, what he said.” Tony gestures at Steve with his coffee cup. “I was gonna fluff it up for the reporters. I’m actually better at that than all of you, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Sure thing, Mr. I Am Iron Man,” Sam teases.

“Nat, you're being pretty quiet. What's up?” Steve tilts his head at her.

“It’s a lot to process,” She says, but her eyes are calculating, flicking between Steve and Tony, and then over to the Hulk. “I don’t want to go into this on assumptions. I want hard evidence.”

Tony knows he’s pushing the blame on Ross because of his future knowledge. And Natasha can see the leaps in logic, but can tell Tony is holding something back. She’s good.

“It’s the same thing the government did when they tried to force me to give them the suit,” Tony reminds them. “I’ve found three failed super soldier projects in the past two years and I’ve barely started digging. The US government hasn’t been able to make their own super heroes, so now they want to force us to work for them.”

“Okay.” Clint wanders over to the fridge. “So we stall for time while the nerds read the damn thing, and the spies do spy stuff.”

“And I prevent Ross from controlling the story in the media,” Tony sets his coffee down and pulls out his Starkphone and points it at Hulk, who is pouring another box of cereal into his mouth. “Smile for instagram, big guy.”

Steve stands and addresses everyone. “I think this goes without saying, but everybody stay here and lay low until we have a handle on things. If he’s willing to go after Hulk to prove his point he’ll go after any of us.”

“Sticking together sounds like a great plan,” Sam agrees.

“Perfect. I’m gonna go charm the pants off some reporters. Hulk? Wanna come talk to the shiny cameras?” Tony taps a message into his Starkwatch, asking Steve to bring him a knee brace from the med kit. He sends it to Sam, because Steve is terrible about checking his texts. He watches Sam glance down at his shiny new Starkphone and then holds it so Steve can see the screen.

Steve lifts an eyebrow– asking why he isn't already wearing one– but he slips out towards the infirmary anyway.

“Don’t even joke about that.” Natasha glares daggers at him. “You shouldn’t put him or those reporters in that position. It’s dangerous.”

“Fine. Then you babysit him while I go do my thing.” Tony flashes his trademark rich boy grin and limps down towards the elevators and the horde of reporters waiting on the first floor of Avengers Tower. They pick up Steve and the knee brace on the way.

“Do you need help with it?” Steve asks, holding up the brace. He’s standing too close.

Tony can’t help imagining Steve kneeling down and sliding Tony’s trousers up his leg. No. Bad Tony. He shouldn’t keep encouraging whatever the fuck this was.

“I’ve got it,” he does his best to remain calm as he takes the brace and slides it on. Much better. He scoots a little further away from Steve when he straightens back up.

“I'm right behind you.” Steve’s smile is too bright. “Let's give 'em hell. Ross has no idea who he’s messing with.”

It’s fantastic. Tony leads the reporters on a merry chase as he describes the very successful Avengers mission and the slight mishap from one of the bad guys trying to drug Bruce Banner. But the contingency plan for the Hulk worked exactly as it was supposed to, so why was the government proposing legislation in response to a Hulk rampage that hadn’t happened? Before the Avengers even had time to brief the Guatemalan government, the people who’d actually called the Avengers and asked for their help.

Steve stands to his right, looking as Captain America as possible, even in a white button down and slacks. He nods at all the right times, and completes the set for photos. The Avengers leadership– a united front.

When the time comes for questions, a few are directed Steve’s way. He sounds confident and reassures everyone that they are looking everything over very carefully.

“While we agree that the Avengers shouldn’t be able to do whatever we want without repercussions,” Tony swoops in to save Steve from a particularly nasty question, “the Accords as currently proposed don’t take into account that we are not a police force or branch of any military. As Avengers, our goal is to protect the world from superhuman threats and militarized fascist terrorist groups like Hydra.”

“Right.” Steve recovers. “We neither condemn nor endorse the Accords until we have had time to review them properly. It's very important to all of us that we don't do anything hasty.”

“That’s all the time we have, folks, thanks so much for coming.” Tony starts to put a hand on Steve to help usher him offstage and then thinks better of it, simply leaving and expecting him to follow as his security team starts to herd out the reporters still shouting questions at them.

“How do you think it went?” Steve asks when they’re back to the relative privacy of the tower. He’s unbuttoned his cuffs, and is currently rolling his sleeves up.

“Fine,” Tony averts his gaze. “Most of those guys are pro-Avengers to begin with.” Don’t look don’t look.

Steve studies him for a moment. “You don't seem fine. What happened?” His voice is soft, but concerned.

“What happened?” Tony blinks. Steve cannot be that dense. “I remembered how much shit I have to do and I do not have time for-“ he waves a vague hand and Steve’s forearms. “Whatever this is.”

“What?” Steve groans, and covers his eyes with a hand. “Every. Goddamn. Time. Fine, Tony. There’s no ‘whatever.’ You do your job, I do mine.”

“You don’t have to be so pissed at me,” Tony snaps back. He wasn’t the one leading Tony on, only to drop him the moment they find Bucky. “Just because I’m being the responsible one for once.”

“I don't need a lecture from you about responsibility.” Steve’s voice is controlled, his tone cold. “Clearly I had the wrong impression. It won't happen again.”

All Tony can do is roll his eyes. Of course Steve is pissy. Who the fuck else would ever say no to Captain America?

“It isn’t you, it's me.” Tony says with about as much sarcasm as he’s physically capable of mustering.

“Wow. You really are right about everything,” Steve returns fire. “Because it's definitely you.”

“Yeah, it must be. I must be so horrible to not want to fuck you.”

Steve looks like he’s been punched in the gut– a mix of shock and pain. He's speechless for a few long moments.

When he finally speaks all the anger is gone from his voice. “I'm sorry. I was confused about the situation and made too many assumptions. Like I said, it won't happen again.”

God dammit. Tony needs to be angry with Steve, so he doesn’t fall for it again. He can’t stay mad when those big blue eyes look like someone kicked his puppy. Why is he making this so hard?

Tony presses the button on the elevator that makes it stop at the nearest floor and steps out as soon as the doors open. “I have a lot of work to do.” His voice sounds hollow, even to him.

Steve doesn't respond. He just lets the doors close between them, and continues up to the higher floors.

Tony’s doctor said to stay out of the lab for a week, but he can’t stand to be anywhere else. So he goes to the lab. He has a spaceship to finish. That’s infinitely more important than the hollow ache in his chest.

*****

When the asset hears Steve Roger’s voice on the train out of Barcelona, he thinks he is dreaming for a moment. He realizes quickly that the voice is coming from a phone.

“... important that we don't do anything hasty.”

It's definitely him. The asset has enough new (old) memories of Steve to know. It's not the soft voice he used when it was just the two of them, on the front. It's the voice he used to address the men. The voice of Captain America.

The asset looks around the train for an easy mark. He spots an old man, dozing, his head slumped to the side. When they get to the next stop, the asset uses the shuffle of people as cover to move down the car to the empty seat next to the man.

A phone is easily located in the man’s jacket pocket. He holds it up to the man’s sleeping face– and of course– it unlocks. Civilians have no sense for security.

The asset does not remember using a phone for anything other than mission reports, but he must have been taught at some point, because he knows what to do.

He pulls up a search engine, and looks for “Captain America news.” It brings up the result he is looking for right away. It's a press conference that was broadcast only a few hours ago. He makes sure the volume is low, as his ears are more sensitive than a person's, so he won't wake his neighbor when he hits play.

To his surprise, Steve is featured very little. He stands to the side while a different man does most of the talking. This is not ideal, because the asset is trying to (wants to) listen to Steve. But something about the other man is familiar.

(“Come on, Stark! Back me up here!” Bucky points with a nearly empty beer bottle. "If he waits much longer to ask her out we won't have to worry about the Nazis. We’ll die of old age!”

Steve tears his eyes away from where they had been gazing with open admiration at Peggy Carter, seated with some officers at a table across the room. Bucky and Howard laugh as Steve’s face turns pink.

“Come on, Cap!” Howard slurs, having done a smidge too much celebrating. “I didn't give you a body like that for you to keep it in the china cabinet! Even you can't be a perfect little toy soldier all the time. Get out there and give it a test-drive!”

Bucky sends both a prayer and a curse Howard’s way for said body. Stevie was hard enough to resist as a scrappy little thing. Now…

Now Bucky must be the bravest soldier in all of France for keeping his hands to himself.

But Howard could never understand that Steve is not the running around kind. Not like Bucky and him. Stevie is the settling down kind, and Bucky is going to do everything he can to make sure he gets that happy ending. The wife, the house, the kids. All the things they could never have together.)

The asset squints at the description of the video. The other man is named Iron Man, Tony Stark. He resembles Howard, from Bucky’s (his) memories. Perhaps they are brothers. Stark finishes talking and reporters begin asking him questions.

The asset is so wrapped up in studying this new Stark, that he nearly forgets why he was watching the video in the first place. He rewinds the video and pauses to get a better look at Steve.

The asset experiences (feels) a sensation, like falling from a great height. Steve has his gaze directed at Stark, and there is no mistaking it. It's the same way he used to look at Peggy. The first time the asset remembered such a look he played it over and over in his mind until he could recall it with clarity.

Did Steve ever look at Bucky (him) that way? The asset can't remember.