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Chapter Text

Mark felt his hand tighten on his backpack as he and William moved through the school halls. He felt like his whole body was falling apart as he picked at his palm with the other hand, trying to flick invisible rot that wasn’t there. He knew this was school, he knew who William was even if his thoughts about him seemed suddenly messy. Yet it still felt like his world was tilting. He couldn’t grasp everything fully, he couldn’t understand who he was. A zombie among the crowd.

“Mark? You’re spacing out again,” William’s voice registered. Light but the concern in it was clear, it felt like Mark was being looked right through.

“Sorry, I’m tired,” Mark replied because it was all he could find to describe it. He often felt tired and confused. It was sudden, a feeling that happened in moments. Like he was going to hurl if he didn’t escape this skin.

“That’s what you keep saying,” William said, scanning him with those pity filled eyes. Every sense Mark had suddenly felt too much as he looked into those eyes. His fingers twitched and he tried to find words that would get them off him.

“I’m fine, I promise,” he managed to get out, faking a laugh. It sounded harsher than he meant. His throat tightened as he felt a buzz overcome him, the feeling like he needed to run clawing at him.

“Okay, if you say so..” William backed off, slipping into a silence. Mark wished the rest of the world could also realize what he needed. Everything felt too loud and the hallway felt too narrow. He needed to do something but all he could do was keep walking. He was here for a reason.

—————

“How was your day?” Amber asked as she kissed Mark’s cheek. Her touch was grounding, it usually was. His skin tingled where she touched, a shiver running down his spine.

“Good,” the words left his mouth, an automatic response. Amber’s eyebrows knit together as she studied him for a moment, it made him feel small like a caged animal. The word echoed through his head, making him tense up. She was judging him, wasn’t she?

“You sure? You seem pale,” she finally said, her voice slightly shaky. Pale. He wasn’t surprised, he felt like he was going to fall apart.

“Just tired,” he lied once more, “how was your day?” The words felt natural by now as they slipped from his tongue. He couldn’t explain it, he couldn’t stand the stares that came every time something wrong came out. He watched Amber’s shoulders slump as if she could detect the lie. Her eyes softened as if she knew how hard he was trying to be present.

“Busy,” she said with a laugh, shaking her head. Mark nodded, forcing a smile as he listened. The kind of listening she needed.

“Anything interesting happen today?” Amber questioned as if trying to pry it out of him. It made his mouth go dry as he shook his head, not able to form any words. He felt like he couldn’t do anything but stand there now, his body frozen. A panic rushed through him as he tried to tell her how he felt. How his head spun like he was going to pass out. Everything around Amber seemed to dim like he was looking at her from underwater. He was in a haze, floating away from her.

And then, she had vanished.

—————
They called him Maskless Mark. He had never liked it, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t be anything else. Even just Maskless would be better. Why did he have to be Mark? He wasn’t Mark.

Still, no matter how much he hated it, he was one of the only few that were aware of their situation. So, there wasn’t many people to argue with. Sinister was stubborn and Omni didn’t care. So, he dealt with it.

It was even worse when he didn’t have the separation. The Maskless at least gave him a sort of identity. When he was in front though, there wasn’t that separation. He was just Mark. No one knew, not even Mark himself.

As he bid Amber goodbye, he was glad he could slip into a moment of just being him. That was until he came across Debbie in the kitchen.

“How was school?” She asked as she looked up, her eyes tired in a way that made him wonder if anyone else saw it.

“Fine,” he replied, his voice gentle as he offered her a smile. In all honesty he had no idea how school was. “How was not school?”

“Not school was decent,” Debbie hummed with her own smile. Maskless nodded as he began to turn, pointing towards the stairs.

“I got work,” he told her before disappearing without an answer. He didn’t want to spend a moment longer pretending he was someone he’s not. Despite being “Maskless”, he constantly felt like all he did was put on a mask.

Chapter Text

“You seem to be doing better today. Did you get some magical sleep, man?” William teased, leaning back in the driver’s seat. Maskless turned his gaze to the other, smirking slightly. He had memories of William, he was never sure if they were his. He didn’t even know if they were real. Still, Maskless liked William. He even found himself missing him at times, he found it odd.

“Yeah,” Maskless answered as if it was that simple, “amazing sleep.”

“I’m glad. You had me worried,” the brown haired boy admitted before slipping into a joking tone again, “thought maybe you were turning into some monster.” Maskless resisted the urge to make a comment about how it’d be a better situation for him. At least then he wouldn’t have to be pretend to be who he wasn’t. Luckily though, he was more rational than other people he knew ( not to name anyone but Sinister really couldn’t keep his temper down ) so he kept it to himself.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” he said after consideration, “I’m fine. I promise, dude.” William nodded before taking a bite of his burger. He had a look in his eyes that Maskless couldn’t help but feel a tinge of familiarity at. Maybe it was feelings of someone who cared more than he did. Maybe they were his own. He didn’t know and he hated that. His stomach churned as he took a bite, trying to force the feelings down.

“If you do start growing fangs, let me know, yeah?” William spoke up, grinning. Maskless rolled his eyes, not being able to resist a broad smile.

“You’ll be the first to know,” he replied.

“Good because I need to be prepared. I’ll need like.. garlic,” the other continued.

“How do you know I’ll be a vampire? Hmm?” Maskless snorted. He was grateful for William’s joking, he wouldn’t admit that to himself though. It made his chest tighten in a way he’d rather ignore. Who was the reason for this humming in his ribs? The uncertainty made him dizzy.

“I’ll have other things if you’re not a vampire,” William shot back, “I will not let my best friend lose himself! You hear me, Mark?” The name brought Maskless back, pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Mark. He was supposed to be mark. He took a bite of the burger, swallowing.

William didn’t see him.

“I hear you,” he managed to answer after he had swallowed. He then turned his attention back to the food, pretending he didn’t see William glancing at him. Maskless forced himself to chew, even though every swallow felt thick and gross. Like suddenly he was eating plastic rather than the patty. Mark. A label that didn’t fit him. This wasn’t his best friend yet as he sat by him, he felt like he was.
————-

Maskless saw Amber and Eve before they saw him. They looked comfortable together, relaxed. Eve talked, her hands moving in a way that was almost animated. They laughed like they were synced. He walked towards them, feeling like a puzzle piece that didn’t belong. He had memories of Eve too. Ones just like his memories of William. He felt his fists tighten at his sides as he stood before them.

“Hey Mark!” Amber greeted, smiling up at him.

“Hey,” he returned it with a smile he had practiced. Eve turned at the sound of his voice, offering a wave.

“Hey Mark, you want to grab a drink with us? We were just about to leave, “ she offered before pausing, “of course if that’s okay with Amber.”

“Obviously,” the other girl snorted. She gave Eve a look that reeked of the word, “duh.”

“Great! So, you want to join?” The red haired girl questioned. Maskless’ first thought was no. He didn’t want a repeat of what happened with William. As he stared at their expecting faces, he knew he couldn’t say that. He knew what Mark would say.

“Yeah, sounds great,” Maskless agreed. Amber brightened instantly, slipping her arm through his like it was the most natural thing in the world. To her, it was. To him, it felt like sitting in a chair still warm from someone else’s body.

“We haven’t got to hang out in a while,” Amber said softly. Maskless chose not to respond, only bowing his head. An acknowledgment. This wasn’t something he wanted to deal with so he wouldn’t.

“You like smoothies, Mark?” Eve questioned.

“Smoothies are great,” Maskless told her carefully.

“Good news then! That’s what we planned on getting,” she carried on, “didn’t want you to feel left out if you ordered something different.”

“Remember when we shared that smoothie and it was like some romantic cliché?” Amber laughed, “Yet all you could do was talk about that guy who had ticked you off.” Maskless forced a laugh even though he truly didn’t remember. He was sure he wasn’t even around when this had happened. Though, he struggled to remember even when he was. Why did things have to be like this? He was stuck between too many memories and not enough.

“Seriously. It was like ten minutes straight,” Amber told Eve who had giggled.

“Sounds like him,” Eve replied.

When they arrived at Burger Mart, the three got their drinks, relaxing in the booths. The cold, sickeningly sweet feeling of the slush grounded Maskless in a weird way. His arm was rested against Amber making him very aware of her presence.

“So, anything new with you two?” The black haired girl hummed.

“I had the worst quiz today,” Eve groaned, her posture immediately sinking, “it’s usually not that bad!”

“I’m sure you did fine,” Amber comforted.

“Yeah, you’re smart,” Maskless added, not wanting them to feel he was too quiet. He stirred the straw which made him feel a bit childish. He immediately stopped, scolding himself internally.

“Thank you both,” Eve replied even if she didn’t sound convinced,

Suddenly, a frantic looking waiter ran up to them. His hair was a mess from his hand tugging at it and his eyes were wide like a startled animal.

“You have to leave! Through the back! We are being attacked!” The small boy exclaimed. Amber shot Maskless a look which made him want to bite his tongue right off. He was aware she had figured out Mark’s hero life which put that life on him.

Why did it always go back to memories?

Maskless remembered a life before this sometimes. A time where he had been a hero before he made choices. Choices that he didn’t exactly regret. Yet, did he really make those choices? Pseudo. That was the word Omni had used. Pseudo memories.

He didn’t want to be a hero again.

“I don’t have time to explain! Go!” The waiter exclaimed before stumbling to the back, insisting they follow. Maskless looked at Amber, giving her a light shove. She seemed to understand, running with Eve. He knew he had to keep the persona up.

Maskless changed as quickly as he could, the costume making him feel gross. He rushed outside, finding people screaming in terror. It was the kind of fear he recognized, the kind of panic he remembered being thrilled by. He scanned the chaos, darting behind a flipped over car. As he examined the scene, he suddenly felt lightheaded. It wasn’t like blood made him queasy, he didn’t understand. It made him angry. Like he needed to prove himself to this stupid body.

Maskless shot into the air, appearing behind the one causing the distress.

“This all you got?” He spat at them, “you’re like a child playing. It’s pathetic.” He dashed at them, fingers shooting out to their neck. It came to him naturally, a movement he was used to. It was exhilarating despite its cruelty.

“Do you go off your base instincts?” A voice in his head rang. It startled Maskless, his grip loosening.

“It’s Sinister,” more words echoed like a thought.

“You’re not one to talk about instincts,” Maskless thought, slamming the ‘villain’ down.

“Now is not the time,” the other replied, “they’re getting up.”

Chapter Text

Mark woke up to Eve at his side, looking over him like a miracle had occurred.

“Mark! What was that?” Eve asked, her eyes wide, “you rushed me and Amber away! You know I could have helped you!” Her costume was covered in what looked like blood, seeping into the pink.

“Eve?” He managed to get out, “what- what happened?”

“You were fighting that guy and you got all.. weird,” the word sounded bitter coming out of her mouth. It echoed in Mark’s head as he forced himself up.

“Weird?” He repeated, furrowing his eyebrows. Eve seemed to pause, her face softening.

“You were more aggressive than usual? I guess.. like you didn’t care,” she responded, her tone careful. Who had he been fighting? Why was it that bad? He felt like he had been repeatedly slammed into the concrete below him. It was all a blur. He couldn’t recall any of this. In fact, he couldn’t recall much from the past few days. Mark swallowed, his throat feeling raw. He felt like he was traveling somewhere he wasn’t meant to be.

“I can’t - I don’t remember any of this,” he admitted.

“You were out for only a minute, oh god,” Eve murmured, a fearful look crossing her face, “you’re going to the hospital.” A rush of nausea overcame Mark as the word hit him. The hospital.

“No! Eve! I’m okay,” he assured her.

“Are you?” She retorted.

“I am, I promise. I was.. I was just panicked,” he lied, pressing his fingers to his temple, “I just need a second.”

“Mark..” Eve started but her voice seemed to catch in her throat. It made a rush of guilt overcome Mark.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, gulping.

“No! You didn’t … you were still protecting people. You.. made sure me and Amber were safe, “ she soothed him, “ I tried to step in at one point and you seemed concerned. It was like you just didn’t know how to handle the situation.”

“It was just the adrenaline. I’m sorry,” Mark whispered but the words felt wrong. He didn’t know what it was. Eve studied him for a long moment, like she was deciding whether to let the explanation stand. Finally, she exhaled, some of the tension easing from her shoulders.

“Let’s get you home. I’ll call Amber so she knows you’re okay. You need rest, you hear me?” Eve said roughly. Mark managed a weak smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. As Eve helped him to his feet, that same shame settled in his chest again. Why could he constantly not remember?
———

Mark had barely closed the door when Debbie appeared in front of him with eyes filled with worry. Her hands landed on his shoulders searching for any sort of injury.

“Mark! What happened? Why are you here so late? Did someone hurt you?” She shot questions at him as if he was in a trivia game show. He couldn’t respond for a moment, he felt like his head was spinning. The lights felt too bright in that moment and he was sure he was going to pass out.

“There was a run in at Burger Mart,” he told her vaguely, “I’m okay, mom. I promise. I got help from a friend.”

“Sit, “ Debbie ordered, guiding him to the couch. He let himself drop onto the cushions, squeezing his eyes shut for a split moment to relieve his pain. Debbie hovered over him, holding her breath for a split moment as if the world was ending in front of her. She exhaled slowly before taking a seat beside him.

“Mark, I was terrified. Your father..” She trailed off, shaking her head.

“I know, I’m sorry mom,” he said quickly, reaching over to squeeze her hand. He felt like his heart was going to explode, like he’d die right there. He felt horrible. Like he was ruining his mother’s life with just this.

“You need to go upstairs and rest. We will figure this out in the morning, okay?” She spoke after a moment, “I love you so much Mark.” Her tone was shaky and her eyes didn’t meet his.

“I love you too,” Mark told her before standing up. His legs felt like jello and he was sure they’d collapse under him. He hated that he was causing her worry, hated that he felt so weak and out of control. By the time he reached his bedroom door, his knees threatened to buckle.

Inside his room, Mark sank onto the mattress. It was dark, almost comforting in that moment. He pulled his blanket over him, trying to anchor himself. Still, the feeling lingered like it was gnawing at him. He wished he had an answer to this all, a way to fix it. A way to explain himself.

Yet, all he felt was emptiness. A space that was he was stuck in.

———
Everyone called them Mark. They didn’t feel like Mark. They didn’t have the memories of Mark. They didn’t feel like their identity matched much with Mark. Yet, they didn’t have their own. They were walking in someone else’s skin with no name and just a mind of fog.

But they had to be Mark, didn’t they? It was what everyone thought they were.

They remembered a conversation. Some of it at least. It wasn’t their conversation. It was like they were watching it happen and then suddenly they were having it. Like in a blink they controlled the words coming out.

They recognize the woman they were talking to. She resembled someone they knew. They had memories of her. Debbie. Their mother. She seemed to be Mark’s mother. He missed her. They missed her.

So they had to be Mark, right?

They remember playing catch with dad. Mark’s dad. They missed that too. That sounded freeing. It was fun. They remember falling and being told they could try again.

That was Mark’s dad. So they had to be Mark, right? Those memories were his. They had to be.

But, then there was stuff that they didn’t feel close to. Fighting. Words that hurt. Those didn’t feel like their memories.

But they had to be. They were Mark.