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John felt the vibration of the stardrive beneath him as Atlantis prepared to leave Earth. After all these months of waiting and arguing the day had finally come for Atlantis to head back to where she truly belonged in the Pegasus galaxy. It was a momentous day and it should have been a happy day too but all John could think of was the people he would be leaving behind. No, not people. One person. Rodney.
Despite his thoughts drifting back to Rodney, the stardrive remained stable, though he could feel the whispering pressure from the ATA connection asking him to confirm over and over if he wanted to abort take-off. Each time he reaffirmed the decision to leave Earth and all it represented behind. It had ceased to be his home years ago. He belonged here in this Ancient city now and he thought Rodney had felt the same way. Certainly Atlantis should have been enough to keep that brilliant mind occupied for a lifetime.
It would be so easy to push all the blame onto Jennifer Keller as she was the one who had wanted to stay on Earth, having never coped well with the dangers in Pegasus, and she had expected Rodney to stay with her. Perhaps it was cruel of her to make him choose between her and Atlantis but it was still Rodney's decision to make, and he had chosen her. After all, what had Pegasus to offer other than life-force hungry Wraith, rebel Asgard and worlds culled back almost to the stone age. Hardly a safe environment for someone who could think of a thousand ways they could all meet a horrible end on any given day. Yet despite his fears Rodney had come through for them time and time again. His absence from the city was a loss for all of them. Not just for John.
Once Atlantis had cleared the atmosphere he navigated her to the far side of the moon, using it as a shield from anyone without security clearance who was watching the skies too closely. They might not be able to see the city through its invisibility cloak and shield but they still might register the effect it had on the space around them as Atlantis was significantly larger than any of the Earth spaceships.
The plan was to use the sublight engines to the edge of the solar system and then engage the intergalactic drive. It would be only the second time it had been used and once more Rodney would miss out on seeing his brilliant work in action. Rodney had spent these past months analyzing the data from the flight to Earth from Pegasus and making corrections to 'reduce the chance of us all dying in an horrific fireball', to quote him. The same design was now in the hands of other engineers to see if they could reduce the size so they could fit an intergalactic drive onto one of the BC-304 class of ships like Daedalus. There was even talk of designing a newer, larger ship that would merge the best of Earth, Asgard and Ancient technology.
"Perhaps not city-sized like Atlantis but..."
"More of a township," John had stated at the time. "We could name it Bespin," he added, enjoying the way Rodney rolled his eyes.
"Technically that was still a city, Sheppard."
A radio message interrupted his memories.
"Colonel Sheppard. Hold position."
He frowned at the sudden delay but sent the mental command to Atlantis, holding her steady behind the moon. Through his link with the city he could feel the activation of the Stargate for an incoming wormhole. Although his curiosity was piqued, John turned his attention back to the city itself and the stardrive, aware Colonel Lorne could handle whatever was happening in the gate room and would contact him if he was needed. He smirked. Probably someone forgot some major item off their checklist and it was important enough to hold up everything to have it, though with the scientists, they would consider even coffee an essential item. Whatever it was came through quickly as he felt the Stargate close down almost immediately. John looked across questioningly to where Radek was monitoring the energy levels but gained only a shrug, making John even more curious.
Just as he was about to tap his radio and ask what was happening the door slid open and John froze in shock as Rodney stepped into the Chair room.
Radek exclaimed, "Rodney!" Followed by several sentences in his native language that could have been curses even with his happy smile judging by Rodney's sour expression. With one final look at John he raced away leaving John alone with Rodney, who instantly made himself look busy by checking all the energy readings.
"Rodney?"
"Can we... talk about this later? We have a intergalactic jump to make."
John nodded, not needing to be asked twice as now he had even more reason to put as many light years between Earth and Atlantis as he could. He turned his concentration back to the stardrive and this time he felt no reluctance from Atlantis at all as she began to move smoothly away from Earth.
****
Rodney busied himself with the read-outs but could not resist the occasional glance at the man in the control chair. He hoped he wasn't making a gigantic mistake but knew in his heart that he would not be here if he loved Jennifer as much as he thought he did. Or perhaps he simply loved her enough to let her go, knowing she would eventually resent him when he could not change to be the person she wanted. The man with a brain stripped by a parasite of all the heavy burdens he had carried since he was old enough to speak his mind. Heightmeyer, had she lived, would have carefully phrased it until he realized he was the mirror of his henpecked father marrying his fiercely independent mother, leaving him with a childhood buried beneath their resentment towards each other that eventually ended in an acrimonious divorce. Instead of Heightmeyer he had his sister, who had put it to him bluntly.
He could not shift all the blame onto Jeannie. He had already been swaying, spending these last two weeks in mental turmoil because he thought John would be staying on Earth too having been promoted to a full-bird Colonel. The military tended to reassign officers following promotion. Rodney had envisaged spending hours with John working over the schematics of the Bespin. Yes, it was a stupid name but somehow fitting even if it did get renamed to something more pompous once they started building. He had planned to convince the IOA to give command of the Bespin to John, and he would become its Chief Science Officer and Carson... He sighed. Yet another reason why he had been caught in a quandary as he could not imagine having anyone but Carson as the Chief Medical Officer. Jennifer was brilliant, there was no doubt of that, but she had struggled in the role of CMO, far preferring her research to dealing with patients.
She had opted for a quiet laboratory at Area 51, excited to have the chance to work without interruptions from others. He had hated Area 51 when they were all kicked off Atlantis by Captain Helia and the return of the Tria.
It was standing in the Cheyenne Mountain gate room watching the read-outs as Atlantis prepared to leave Earth that finally broke him. He had not said a word. He had looked across and found General O'Neill staring at him with raised eyebrows.
"You have ten minutes to collect as much as you can carry. That's all I can give you," he emphasized but Rodney was already running back to his small quarters two levels above where he had a bag already packed, supposedly just for a few days here at Cheyenne but perhaps he had always known deep down that he wasn't meant to stay here.
When he returned O'Neill and Daniel Jackson were waiting for him just outside the splash zone for the Stargate. The wormhole engaged and with a brief goodbye he hurried through into the atrium of Atlantis. Perhaps he was imagining it but it seemed as if the lights brightened a fraction as if in welcome along with that small spark in the back of his mind as he subconsciously connected with the city through the ATA gene. He dropped his bag and with his thumb he indicated.
"I'm... heading to the Chair Room."
He noticed Colonel Lorne biting back on a smile as Rodney brushed past him.
So here he was with most of his attention on the read-outs as Atlantis moved towards the edge of Earth's Solar System while the rest was on the man mentally controlling the powerful engines.
John spoke to Woolsey, who had surprised everyone by signing back up as leader, "We are clear of the Solar System. Permission to engage Intergalactic Drive."
"Doctor McKay? Are we a GO?"
Rodney smiled for the first time in weeks, feeling all the anxiety float away. "Engage drive."
Atlantis settled back down onto the blue seas of Lantea less than an hour later having slowed at the edge of Pegasus to ensure no Wraith ships were lurking nearby before heading onward to the planet. Another two hours was taken up with debriefings, both with Woolsey and Radek, who happily stepped aside to restore Rodney as Chief Science Officer.
"Never wanted position but better than risk Kavanagh in charge." He shuddered visibly. "Plus, I knew you could not stay away. I was keeping seat warm."
Rodney quickly deflated the sentimental atmosphere with a few pithy comments that had Radek back to normal, calling him a 'small, pitiful man'. All that was left now was the talk he had promised John. He was surprised to find John waiting for him in the newly assigned quarters that were surprisingly bigger and better than his previous ones and even included a larger bath and a balcony overlooking the city and the sea beyond. He side-eyed John because prime quarters such as these should have been snapped up immediately.
"You saved these quarters for me?"
John rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable but he didn't deny it.
"I just figured you'd be back."
"Figured... or hoped?" Rodney cleared his throat as John looked even more uncomfortable. "Well... Thank you."
"Rodney?"
"Jeannie said Jennifer and I were like our parents," he blurted out.
"Oh?" John questioned softly, looking a little confused.
"Yes. I didn't have a good childhood."
"Oh."
"My father gave up everything he loved to make my mother happy. To be what she wanted. And they both ended up bitter and resentful. Several affairs, numerous arguments. It was a relief to be a child prodigy as I escaped before they imploded. Jeannie... Jeannie wasn't quite as lucky but... Yes. Well." He looked hard at John, willing him to understand, then looked away. "I thought you would be assigned on Earth after..." He waved a hand at John. "Promotion."
"General O'Neill called it a field promotion. Gave me the option of retaining military command on Atlantis. You know, Teyla is right. We really are bad at this. I should have asked you to stay... with me."
"I planned to stay with you. Leaving Atlantis was... but I thought I would still have you and it occurred to me that I was fine with that. More than fine because Atlantis isn't... isn't home without you. I was going to persuade them to make you captain of the Bespin and I'd be your science officer and...." Rodney huffed. "Though obviously they would have given it some name like 'Henry Hayes'."
John smiled. "But she'd always be the Bespin to us." He seemed to sober. "Rodney? We can't be on the same offworld team anymore. Not if I..." he leaned forward and kissed Rodney, pulling back when he gained no reaction.
Rodney stared at him in shock, his lips still tingling from the pressure and warmth of John's lips. It had felt so perfect. So... right, and now everything was falling into place like pieces of a puzzle slotting together to reveal the whole picture rather than the fragments that had been tormenting him for years. This was what he wanted. What he had always wanted. John.
"I'm sorry," John stated softly, taking a step back and that snapped Rodney out of his reverie.
"Oh for Heaven's sake." Rodney stepped forward and grabbed at John, fingers bunching into the material of his t-shirt as he dragged him back into another kiss, not leaving any doubts between them that he wanted this too. Perhaps he had always wanted this from the first time he saw a handsome, messy-haired pilot fire up the chair in Antarctica. He knew it would not all be plain sailing and there would be times when they argued but he also knew they had weathered so many storms already since they first met without losing any love or respect for the other.
"For what it's worth, I like you just the way you are," John murmured between kisses.
END