Chapter Text
One day, Cain was in his office, planning another amazing adventure, when a strange text message appeared on his Wacky Watch.
[Hello! I’m a huge fan of your show. It’s an honor to finally talk to you Cain!]
Cain was flattered, albeit confused on how someone could reach him. Could this be something about that internet he kept hearing about? Either way it would be rude to ignore a fan. He typed back a measured response.
{HELLO DEAR FAN!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!!! I PUT A LOT INTO MY ADVENTURES AND ITS VIEWERS LIKE YOU THAT MAKE IT WORTH IT!!!!}
{With love, Cain}
It didn’t take long for the fan to reply but Caine was at the edge of his seat. Never before had he been given so much positive feedback.
[Aw, thanks.]
[You know, I don’t think that you’re appreciated for all the work you do. It’s not fair.]
{Well I just do my best and the hard work is its own reward.}
At least that’s what Cain told himself.
[But wouldn’t you like for them to show an ounce of gratitude?]
[I know! How would you like some new assets? Cool and Modern sets to freshen things up. I bet even Zooble would love these.]
The fan texted a link. Cain clicked it and-
…
Everything went black.
“You know something… for a Super Intelligence, you’re pretty stupid.” was the last thing he heard.
- · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·
“Attention, my Cantankerous Caterpillars. Because the last suggestion box was so successful, we’re doing it again!” Caine announced.
Jax rolled his eyes. “Yeah, it was a barrel of laughs.” He glared at Gangle. Last time, the little freak went mad with power. She was going to pay for that.
“I’m glad you agree! Because something tells me this will be our best adventure yet! I’ve developed an AI that's 3 times as advanced.” Cain pulled a card from his sleeve. “I already took the liberty in choosing something. I just needed time to prepare.”
The title appeared behind him as he announced the adventure. “Tellanovela Maids!”
The rest seemed fine with it but Jax… couldn’t. That was stupid! They couldn’t all be maids? some of them were guys… unless. Oh no. “Caine, I’m not wearing a maid dress agai-“
But before he finished talking. Caine had snapped his fingers. From the either, A bulldozer appeared, shoving everyone through the portal.
And just like that, Jax was in a cheesy looking telenovela set… wearing a short black maid dress. The same one as last time.
“Alright! Who’s stupid idea was this!?” Jax yelled. His eyes fixed on Gangle. “You’re usually into Manga and all that garbage, but I can see you trying to get everyone in a maid dress. Ya little pervert!”
Gangle shrunk back. “It wasn’t me, I don’t even watch novelas.” She cried.
Jax went to throttle her, but Ragatha held him back. “Jax, I’m sure Gangle had nothing to do with this. Give her a break!”
He struggled to break free. Gangle stood just inches away. “Let me go! I’m in a skirt because of her!... AGAIN!”
A whip crack made both of them freeze. An old lady with a warty squash for a head was holding a large leather bull whip. Her face was carved like a Jack-o-Lantern with a permanent scowl.
Her carved eyes narrowed. “By the time I crack this whip again, I want you all in line. Shoulder to shoulder. Backs straight.” She raised the handle and the others along with Jax did as they were told. The last thing Jax wanted was to be whipped while wearing a maid outfit.
“Good, now listen up. I only want to say this once.” She walked past the line like an army general. “Chest piece and Ribbons, you’re on bathroom duty. Doll face and Jester are going to clean the bedrooms.” The Gourd lady stopped at Jax. She glared at him for a solid minute.
Finally, after what felt like ages, she spoke. “Conejo, I don’t want you near either of my sons. You’ll be in the stables, far away from the house.” Jax didn’t know what a ‘Conejo’ was, but the way the old lady said it made it sound like a slur. “Did you get all that?” She asked.
“Yes ma’am.” They all said. Even Jax decided to be respectful. Given that the alternative was being struck by a bull whip.
The old gourd head pointed to her house. “Then get going!” She shouted. Jax was yanked from the group. “Conejo, the stables are that way.” She pointed to the old wooden stable that had seen better days. “And stay away from my boys.”
Jax forced himself a smile and did as he was told.
Once Jax was inside the stables he realized he had no idea what the old lady actually wanted him to do. There wasn’t exactly an instruction guide. Whatever, he’d figure it out as he went along.
He was in the middle of brushing the horses when he heard a mocking laugh. “So mother really hired a Conejo? And she thought she could hide you in the stables?” The voice was low and sultry. Jax looked up from his work. Low and behold there was a pumpkin headed man with a Jack-o-lantern grin.
Jax rolled his eyes and sighed. He knew what happened to maids on tv. They either got shot and/or had sex with their boss. Both sounded equally bad. Not that the latter was even plausible. “Listen, pumpkin head. I-”
“Gourdando, if you will~.” He interrupted.
Jax rolled his eyes. That was the dumbest name he Cain had used yet. “Listen, Gourdy. I’m not interested. Go bother the girl with the button eye.”
“I tried, but she’s no fun.” Gourdando sighed. “So I decided to see if what they say about Conejos is true.” There was that word again. Jax wasn’t sure if he should be offended by it or just annoyed.
Gourdnando lazily stroked Jax’s ear. Jax jumped. however… there was something different about Gourdnando's touch. For the first time in a long time Jax felt… different. Specifically in his pants.
There was no way.
Jax stood there, frozen. Half of him wished that Gourdnando would do it again, while the other half wanted to run.
His wish won out in the end. Gourdnando moved closer and pulled Jax to his chest with one arm. Jax gasped despite himself.
“Ay, is the Conejito suddenly interested?” He playfully asked. Gourdnando grabbed Jax’s ear again. There it was. That old feeling. It had been so long, but Jax recognized it. He was aroused.
As Gourdnando stroked his ear he leaned in for a kiss. Jax let him. The sensation of Gourdnando lips against his made Jax’s cock twitch. This didn’t make sense. Jax had to be touch starved. Caine had removed “certain parts” to remain ”family friendly”.
Yet here Jax was. Being manhandled and slowly getting hard.
Jax reached for his dick. His hand passed right through it. Figures. The one time he can feel his libido and it needs the help of a glitched out npc.
Gourdnando pulled back. A pathetic whine escaped Jax’s throat. He was getting close, he knew it. The pumpkin laughed at him. “So impatient. If the Conejito can wait, the reward will be better.” He continued to stroke Jax’s ear. “I wonder, should I take you here in the stables or make you follow me to my room.”
Jax couldn’t stand another second of this. He gripped Gourdnando’s broad shoulders as tight as he could. “Here… pl-please.”
His plea fell on deaf ears. Gourdnando brushed off Jax like a piece of lint. Jax’s legs crumbled beneath him. “While I’m happy you learned some manners, Conejito, you still need practice in patience.” He sighed. “Meet me at my room when you have these stables cleaned.”
It took until long after Gourdnando left for Jax to be able to stand. By then his phantom boner was gone. He felt for it. Just to see if there was anything he could get out of dry humping.
Nothing.
Gourdnando was his only hope of climaxing. Even then, it was possible that Gourdnando could be good in bed but Jax still wouldn’t be able to finish. There was no way of knowing how digital dicks worked.
He kicked a pile of hay. “This blows!”
A couple of the horses whinnied and stamped in fear. This of course summoned Ragatha. “Jax, are you bothering the horses?” She whined.
“Nooooo.” Jax groaned back. Maybe it was better that Gourdnando had left. Wouldn’t want anyone walking in. “Why don’t you just-.” Jax was about to tell her to leave when an idea hit him. “Ragatha you like horses, right?”
“Yeah… and?” She gave him a suspicious look. “Don’t think you can’t shirk your responsibilities on me.”
Jax got on his knees and begged. “I will do anything if you trade me. I’ll do your chores and then some. I’ll never leave a millipede in your room. I’ll be nice to Gangle for a whole adventure.”
Ragatha stared at him. “You hate horses that much?”
“… yes.”
She eyed the horses. Jax wondered if he over sold it. Ragatha looked like she already wanted to trade. “Alright, but I want you to forgive Gangle for her adventure pick.”
“Done deal!” Jax bolted past Ragatha and straight for the Casa.