Archive of Our Own ^beta

It had been an intense day for the Deepspace Hunters of Linkon City. Abnormal fluctuations had resulted in Wanderer attacks all over the metropolis, the screeching monsters wreaking havoc everywhere they spawned. It seemed like the second you dispatched one, your Hunter’s Watch was lighting up with another alert. Somehow, though, with minimal casualties you managed to stay on top of the threats and laden down with a bone-deep kind of exhaustion you trudged into your apartment block - your partner and neighbour Xavier a silent yet solid presence beside you. Your muscles protested as you lifted your arm to press the call elevator button. 

“I’m going to sleep for eight years.”

You mumbled as the doors drowsily opened. Xavier huffed a tired laugh as you both trudged into the elevator. 

“Yeah, me too.” He pressed the button for each of your floors. “Are you off tomorrow?” 

You leaned against the wall of the elevator, too exhausted to stand unassisted. Xavier had been your colleague and partner for over six months now but you still knew next to nothing about him as a person. He was always dependable in the field and had saved your skin multiple times - his expertise and experience was vastly superior to your own. He was an incredible fighter. You loved to watch him, captivated by his movements. Not the ripple of his muscles under his uniform or his perfect features, nope, definitely not. And definitely not now when you could barely even keep your eyes open. You gave him a tired smile. 

“And the next day too.” You replied.

Xavier rewarded you with a soft smile of his own and despite the fog of exhaustion your heart warmed in your chest. Xavier smiles were hard-earned and rare - you couldn’t help but feel like you were on the receiving end of them more often than others, but you kept this to yourself. 

“Nice. Enjoy your time off.” He said, softly. 

The elevator door opened on your floor and you pushed off of the wall, body protesting already. 

“Thanks.”

You mumbled back, already imagining how good your bed was going to feel when you collapsed into it. You trudged out of the elevator yawning. Xavier waved behind you. 

“See you.”

You barely registered his words, the call of your bed too loud in your ears. You lifted a sluggish hand in response. 

“Love you.” 

It took four heavy steps to your apartment, the painful ache in your arm as you lifted it to unlock your door and the dull thud of you dropping your bag to the floor (sorry Mrs Tang downstairs!) before the realisation dumped itself over you like a bucket of ice. Your eyes flew open, exhaustion zapped from your mind completely as you whirled around to face the door to your apartment as though Xavier would be standing there. 

‘Love you!!!!???????’

You hadn’t even noticed yourself saying it, the words falling from your lips by accident. It was just muscle memory! A natural parting greeting! Like when you hang up the phone, you just naturally say “love you, bye!” 

Granted the only people you really spent time with were Tara, Simone, Caleb and Gran but it was so deeply ingrained in you that it was second nature. You buried your face in your hands, humiliation hot under your skin. Surely Xavier knew? Like, he must know it’s just a light hearted parting greeting and there’s nothing deeper to it? But he was so old fashioned and outdated in so many of his mannerisms - he literally texted like a boomer, maybe he'd take it seriously? You groaned deeply into your hands and fished in your pocket for your phone. Did Xavier think you’d just confessed your undying love for him? Okay yes, you had a tiny (microscopic, even!) crush on him but that wasn’t the point. Trudging towards the bathroom, you swiped open your phone and flew your fingers across the keyboard - a vaguely coherent, haphazard message to Xavier forming. You squinted at the glare of the screen, taking in the multiple typos but too tired and honestly embarrassed to care. The lioness does not concern herself with correct spelling, you reminded yourself. 

You: idk if yuo heard what i said when I left the elkavatir but SORRY im so tired my brain wadnt functioning pls ignore!!!

You threw your phone in the general direction of your bed as you passed your bedroom and went to wash away your shame in the shower. Half of you wanted to check your phone every 30 seconds for a response and the other half wanted to yeet your phone into a fire and never leave your apartment again - but all of you wanted to get horizontal and unconscious as soon as possible so on autopilot you threw yourself into your nighttime skin care and crawled pitifully into your bed. You were asleep in milliseconds. 

You slept like a corpse. Limbs like lead, head in the clouds, completely dead to the world until your bladder woke you up around midday, and even then after relieving yourself you scuttled back to bury yourself in your blankets. A few hours of snoozing later, you were jolted out of your half-awake-half-asleep limbo by a few sharp raps at your door. You almost fell out of bed, legs tangled in the sheets, and wiping at the drying drool on your cheek you stumbled towards the hall. 

A bag of delicious smelling breakfast attached to a particularly delicious looking Xavier awaited you. If you were more lucid, you would have had the decency to be ashamed of the state of yourself as you opened the door - but instead, in your still sleepy haze, you settled for gratefully accepting the still warm bag and mumbling your thanks. 

“You have a tendency to forget to eat when you’re tired.”

Xavier explained softly, almost blinding in his sheer prettiness in your doorway. How was it possible for him to look this good in the morning (well, technically afternoon) when you looked like that one taxidermied fox meme? How was he even awake before you? You thanked him again with a grateful smile and Xavier turned to walk back to the elevator. 

“Love you.” He called over his shoulder. 

Cradling the bag of take out to your chest with your cheeks ablaze, you let the words sink in. You took a deep breath in through your nose and tried to calm your racing heart down. Okay. Okay, cool. A soft, incredulous laugh left your lips in a puff.

“What the fuck.” You whispered.

Closing your door and padding to the kitchen, you daintily placed the bag onto the counter. From there, you made a quick trip back to your bedroom to retrieve your phone. It was barely alive at 3% battery since you hadn’t plugged it in before sleeping, but it lit up enough to show you two message notifications from Xavier. 

Xavier: Haha dont worry, it was cute. Maybe I’ll start doing it 2

Xavier: Bringing U breakfast

About 12 hours apart.

Your slowly awakening brain took a few moments to process this. So, your crush had decided that it would be fun and cute to just start saying “love you” as a parting greeting. You wanted to roll your eyes at how very Xavier that was of him: just so endlessly adaptable in all situations. Got caught off guard once but just rolled with it. Completely oblivious to the summersaults your heart was doing just with the memory of the way his voice caressed those syllables. How your ears were bright red and burning, ecstatic with how they’d finally heard him say those words. 

How your stomach was slowly sinking, reminding yourself that he didn’t mean it. That he just thought it was a cute little game. 

You sighed. 

It became a habit. The next day Xavier called you to ask you to retrieve a package that had been left outside his door that he couldn’t rescue until the next day as he was on a mission. 

“I swear the old man next door to me keeps snatching them.” He lamented down the phone. You humoured him good-naturedly. 

“You’re right, he probably does. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it safe for you.” 

“Thank you. I’ll be home around tomorrow afternoon. Love you.” 

And with that, the phone call ended. 

Your palms, damp with nervous perspiration, left faint marks on Xavier’s package.

You decided to make the most of it. Who else had this kind of relationship with the Association’s top ranked Hunter? The jolt of pleasure that shot through you every time you heard those words leave Xavier’s lips kept you on a high for a good few hours before the crash of remembering he didn’t mean it dragged you into a little slump for a few more. 

Weeks passed. Your little crush grew.

You left the Protofield after destroying two massive Metaflux Clusters, a light sheen of sweat sticking your hair to the back of your neck. Yawning, Xavier turned to you,

“I need to clear up some things, can you finish up the report with Headquarters?”

You grinned back at him, still slightly breathless from combat. 

“Sure thing, Partner. Love you.” 

Xavier smiled softly back at you. 

“Love you.” He replied.

And teleported away. 

Xavier held the elevator open for you as you trudged out to your apartment after work. 

“Sleep well. Love you.”

Xavier dropped off some mission files at your desk. 

“Thanks Xavier. Love you.” 

Tara’s head whipped around, eyes wide like dinner plates. 

“Excuse me?” She whisper-yelled at you from her desk. Fighting back a groan you let your head sink into your hands. 

“He recently learned that friends often say they love each other when they say goodbye.” You spoke into your palms. “And since then he hasn’t stopped.”

Tara stared at you incredulously. 

“Tara, I don’t know how much more of this my heart can take. Part of me loves that he says it, but another part of me hates the way it makes me feel.”

You took a deep breath and continued rambling. 

“I only had a tiny crush on him to begin with but every time he says it, I just imagine him saying it for real? And it hurts…” You trailed off 

Silence stretched on between you. You peeked out through your fingers to see Tara also cradling her head in her hands. 

“You two are made for each other.” 

She did not clarify what she meant. 

Two weeks later was a farewell party for one of your superiors who was being transferred to the Snowcrest outpost. Captain Jenna had left after an hour with a hearty “Enjoy yourselves!” and enjoy yourself you did. You drank and danced with your coworkers, running up a tab on the Association’s dime. A guy from the research squad ordered shisha for the table and you sat passing it (cherry flavoured, yum) back and forth between you and Tara, happily buzzing from the alcohol. A familiar voice called out to you, and your eyes flicked up to see Xavier. You allowed a bright smile to break out over your face, inhibitions loosening with the many drinks you’d downed. 

“Xavier! I didn’t even realise you were here!”

You made to stand up but stumbled. Xavier reached out to steady you immediately, his big palm warm and comforting on your body. 

“Are you okay?”

He asked softly, his eyes raking across your face. 

“Yup!” You chirped back. “Guess the alcohol didn’t really hit me until I stood up.” 

Xavier regarded you for a moment longer. God, he was so pretty. And smelled so good. Fuck. He nodded. 

“I see.” You registered his fingers twitch once on the small of your back and fought back a shiver. “I was about to head out and wanted to see if you’d like to take the train together.” 

Happiness bubbled up inside you at how he was always looking out for you. You steadied yourself by placing your hand on Xavier’s forearm. 

“Okay! I’ll grab my coat!” 

You scurried back to the couches to sift through the pile of coats dumped on one side. Locating yours, you turned back to the group. 

“See you guys next week!”

You called to your friends, waving clumsily. 

“Bye, babe!” Tara replied from the sofa. 

“Byeee,” chorused Simone from next to her.

Xavier clasped your hand in his and led you towards the exit.

“Love youuu!” You shouted to your friends over your shoulder. 

“Love you!” They called back in sync. 

Xavier clenched your hand tighter. 

The cold air was a shock to your flushed skin when you left the bar. Noticing the minute shiver that rippled through your body, Xavier let go of your hand to help you into your coat. The street was uncharacteristically silent, you noticed, the chill in the air helping you to sober up considerably. Xavier had taken your hand again after you were zipped up, and together you headed in the direction of the metro. 

“So, you really do just say that to everyone then?” 

Xavier’s tense voice cut through the night. You almost stumbled and Xavier’s hand tightened on yours to keep you upright. 

“Huh?” You asked, stupidly. 

“Love you.”

Xavier clarified, danger tinting his tone. It took a few seconds for you to fully grasp what he was saying. You laughed nervously, still not quite understanding why the air was suddenly so heavy around you. 

“Well, yeah,” You began, uncomfortably. “It’s just a parting greeting.” 

Xavier’s fingers twitched around yours and silence fell between you once again. The neon sign indicating the entrance to the metro loomed a few metres on the horizon, the faint buzz of the electricity feeling even louder than usual. Your mind was racing, hand quickly becoming clammy in Xavier’s grasp. Why did he look so tense? What did he mean by that question? Why was he so hard to read? A few paces before the descending staircase, Xavier stopped abruptly, causing you to bump softly into his back before righting yourself. 

“Xav-”

“What if I don’t like it?” Xavier cut you off. 

The words hung between you, undignified and unclarified. Xavier kept his back turned to you, his eyes facing pointedly forward, what you could see of his side profile stony and unreadable. Moments dragged by sluggishly, an uncomfortable weight settling deep in your stomach. You watched with confused eyes as Xavier steeled his shoulders and turned to face you. 

“What if…” He trailed off, his gaze burning into yours. “What if I only want you to say it to me?” 

The world shuddered to a halt. Your heartbeat, now hammering loudly against your ribs, became the only way to measure the silence as it stretched. Your fingers trembled in disbelief. There was no way you had heard him correctly. 

“I’m-” You began, the words dying in your throat as Xavier’s eyes bore into yours, “What-” 

Your gaze flitted around Xavier’s face, taking in the flush on his cheeks gradually spreading to his ears, the hardened resolve in his usually soft blue eyes. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and you couldn’t help but follow the movement, stomach clenching with anticipation.

“I like when you say it to me. Even if it’s just a parting greeting, it sounds right coming from you.” 

You could feel your face heating up even further with every word that fell from Xavier’s mouth, every cell on your body suddenly hyperaware of the sheer proximity of his body. Gooseflesh broke out over the skin of your hand as Xavier’s thumb softly stroked over it. 

“But I don’t like hearing you say it to other people.” Xavier continued with a frown. 

Through the pounding of your heart, you felt a fragile kind of joy quietly blooming in your chest. A warm unfurling of something you couldn’t quite name yet. Satisfaction, maybe? That this whole time you weren’t the only one affected by the changes in your relationship the last few months. That Xavier liked you - enough to be envious of other people receiving your attention. A nervous, tentative smile tugged at your lips. 

“Are you jealous, Xavier?”

You managed to keep your tone light, the slight tremble in your voice the only thing betraying how much of a mess your head really was. 

“Yes.”

Xavier answered without hesitation. A small laugh bubbled in your throat as you looked up at him. You grasped his free hand with yours, the new skin to skin contact sending pleasurable sparks up your arms. Xavier stepped closer, almost melding your entire front to his chest. He leaned down until you could count his eyelashes, the gold flecks in his eyes. 

“I like you.” He murmured, leaving no room for misunderstanding. “I don’t want you to even look at anyone else.” 

Face aflame, you sheepishly looked off to the side - the intensity of Xavier’s stare igniting something dangerous in your stomach. Your hands dropped, abandoned by Xavier’s as he brought his up to cup your cheeks instead. He gently turned your face back towards his, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Don’t run.” He whispered, eyes flickering down to your mouth. 

When Xavier’s lips descended (softly, so softly) onto yours, you felt all the tension leave your body at once in one soothing exhale. Warm. Soft. He kissed you unhurriedly, like you weren’t on a public street in front of the neon metro signs, like he had all the time in the world. He pulled back to gently nuzzle his nose against yours before tilting his head and going back in at a different angle. A deeper angle. Your toes curled lightly inside your shoes, tingles breaking out over your body. Fighting to keep your soft sighs pushed down in your throat, you clenched your eyes shut even tighter against the arousal steadily building deep in your core. Xavier released you, his eyes slightly glazed over, breaths coming in short puffs against your wet lips. 

“Now say it again.” 

He ordered, voice sounding as wrecked as you felt. Your stomach flipped. 

“Wha-“ 

“Say it.” 

Your head was a mess. Tongue lead, brain turned to cotton candy. With Xavier’s gaze burning into you like this, you could barely string a thought together. 

“Xavierrrr,” you whined in response, face probably closely resembling the tomato plushie he won you a few weeks previous. Xavier watched you squirm, his head cocked to the side as you stuttered. “It’s- embarassing, it’s….too real now, I-“ 

You took a deep breath, gaze fleeing to the side. 

“It was just a crush…” you murmured, half to yourself. 

“Hmm.” Came Xavier’s contemplative voice from above you. “We can cultivate that.” 

His arms snaked around your shoulders, drawing you into his body. Silver hair tickled your skin as he dipped his head, lips moving tantalisingly close to your red-tinged ears. 

“I love you.”

He breathed, as though it were a secret for only you to hear. You tucked your chin to your chest with a squeak, flinching slightly away from the dangerous (delicious) feeling of Xavier whispering in your ear. Arousal licked up your spine. You’d heard those words from Xavier’s lips so many times over the last month, but never like this. The heat in your core amplified as Xavier chuckled at your reaction, the sound dancing sinfully over your senses. 

“Will you let me show you?” 

Xavier, you quickly realised, was a soft-spoken menace. You had always been a sucker for his gorgeous eyes, but his real weapon was the way he whispered absolute filth into your skin as he took you apart. 

Getting back to his apartment was a blur of teleportation, stumbling feet and Xavier’s hot mouth on yours. You barely remembered how you’d ended up spread open and pinned on his bed - all you could concentrate on was the gentle cadence of Xavier’s voice as he brought you to the edge again and again. 

Love you, he whispered into your neck as he ground his muscular thigh into the heat between your legs. 

There we go, that’s what you need, isn’t it? As he licked into your mouth, swallowing your whimpers as your whole body shuddered beneath him. 

He finally peeled your sopping underwear off after your second orgasm - your pleas and sobs echoing around the dark room. He touched you reverently, blue eyes now blown black, boring innocently into yours as your pussy clenched around nothing. 

She’s so pretty, baby. So wet and swollen…should I give her a little kiss? 

Months of pining and fantasising could never have prepared you for the way Xavier worshipped your body. You never imagined he would be like this; this thorough, this merciless, this filthy. The way his angelic face and soft voice gently guided you through each crescendo. 

Love you. Love you. I love you. 

Neither of you left the apartment all weekend, and when Monday rolled around you dragged yourselves to the Association together. Arriving at the office, you waved to Tara and turned back to Xavier. 

“I’ll see you later for claymore training?” 

Xavier nodded, the small sliver of warmth he reserved for you lighting up his eyes. 

“See you later. Love you.” 

You beamed back at him, heart somersaulting in your chest. 

“Love you too.”