Work Text:
Ilya waits until he knows Hollander is back home after his game to text him, but it's difficult. All he can think about is Hollander being restrained by his teammates, beet red and shouting at Scott fucking Hunter of all people. It was one of the most erotic things Ilya has ever seen, and he needs to know everything about it.
Ilya: You got into a fight with Scott Hunter
Jane: Yes.
Ilya plays back the Youtube clip of the fight that he's had open since it was uploaded. He leans in close to the screen of his laptop and focuses on Hollander's perfect lips, trying to make out the words that he's saying, but it's no use. He gets maybe a fuck or two, but he can't make out the rest.
Ilya: What did he say
Ilya: That he is more boring than you are
Ilya: You had to correct him?
Jane: Fuck off
Ilya: Did he say that you skate like ice princess
Ilya: Because you do
Ilya: Very pretty
Jane: No.
Jane: Shut up
Ilya: I will not shut up until you tell me what he said
Ilya: Never have I seen you so pink and angry
Ilya: Not since the last time we fucked
Ilya: You were like kitten. Adorable. Hissing and spitting
Ilya laughs to himself as he imagines Hollander reading that text. Probably pink and angry again.
Jane: Fuck you
Jane: I'm not telling you.
Yes, definitely pink and angry. He wonders if he can get Hollander to send a picture.
Ilya: Fine I will keep guessing
Ilya: Did he say that you look like you are constipated when you are thinking very hard
Ilya has to google the english word for constipated, but it seems worth the trouble as it results in a near instantaneous response from Hollander.
Jane: I'll block you.
Ilya: Nooooo
Ilya: Come on Hollander
Ilya: It was hot
Jane: That was hot to you?
Ilya: Yes
Ilya: When you are annoyed it does things to me
Ilya: And was nice seeing Hunter be put in his place
There's a long pause before the next message comes through, and Ilya can't help but wonder what Hollander is up to. Some extensive nighttime routine, probably. A fifteen step skincare regimen followed by exactly two minutes of teeth brushing and fifty passes of a comb through his thick, dark hair. Ilya's never seen him get ready for bed, but he imagines that's what it's like. Neurotic, like everything else Hollander does.
Finally, Hollander responds.
Jane: He said I'm starting to sound like you.
It feels like Ilya has been doused with ice water. Does that mean Hunter knows they've been spending time together? Does he know what they're doing? There's no way. Hunter isn't that smart, and Ilya and Hollander have been discrete. But still, it's an odd thing to say, and Ilya understands why it would get Hollander worked into a lather.
Ilya: What did you say to make him say that?
Jane: I said something like it would be nice if he showed up to play next time
Jane: I don't remember exactly but something like that
Ilya laughs, because it does sound like something he would say. Harmless, but apparently enough to set Hunter off after his streak of terrible games. Though he imagines hearing it from Shane fucking Hollander of all people would really take it over the edge.
Ilya: Hunter is right
Ilya: Is like I spit the words into your mouth
Ilya: Maybe we will do that next time
Jane: What, you spit in my mouth?
Ilya: Not what I meant but we can do that too
Ilya: I can give you insults for Scott Hunter and we will see if he knows my words as well as he thinks he does
Ilya: Will be funny
Jane: Absolutely not.
Jane: He'll definitely know we're hanging out then.
Ilya snorts. Hanging out. Like they're just grabbing beers after games or getting together to play pond hockey instead of doing things to each other that would give boring old Scott Hunter a heart attack.
Ilya: But you are ok with the spit thing?
Ilya grins down at his phone as he watches Shane start typing, then stop, then start, then stop, then finally, start again.
Jane: Fuck off
Jane: Maybe.
Ilya: 😙💦 😩
Ilya: That is us
Ilya: You are the one with the mouth open
Ilya: Look at how desperate you are! You need it so badly
Jane: Goodbye.
Ilya laughs and tosses his phone aside. He starts the fight video over, sticks his hand down his pants, and brings himself off embarrassingly quickly to the clip of Hollander being held back and screaming obscenities on the ice.