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Lying on the floor of his bedroom, Shouto Todoroki curled into himself, hands tucked beneath his chest, wet from crying.
He could hear his father's footsteps echo on the wooden floorboards at the other end of the house in the kitchen, and the low tones of his voice as they permeated the walls. The vibrations from his speech pulsed against Shouto's skull, forehead pressed to the floor, although the words themselves were indecipherable.
He was breathing hard, tears flowing from his eyes and pooling on the ground, vision marred by the watery overlay.
Home for the holidays, only a few weeks. Fuyumi had practically begged him to come, still refusing to let go of her vision of a perfect family, much to the chagrin of Natsuo, who made his frustrations regarding the family well-known. Her pressing and cajoling had eventually worn Shouto down, and he had relented to her begging. She'd promised again and again that it wouldnt be like before, that this year would be different.
*As if I shouldve expected anything to have actually changed.* Shouto thought bitterly through the haze of his thoughts.
Only the third day of his visit, and he was beside himself with tears already.
It had happened earlier in the day, his father had taken issue with him in some minor way and he'd been subjected to yet another barrage of abuse. Despite his age, his father yelling at him always seemed to revert Shouto back to childhood. Tears fell, his throat stung, and words would not come to his lips. It was as if he was five again, a little boy rendered vulnerable and helpless against a wall of fire. He'd chosen to flee to his room, not willing or able to face the raging tower of that man.
He'd run past his sister in the hall in his escape from the kitchen and his father. She had been standing in a doorway, listening to Endeavor screaming obscenities at his youngest son. She'd always been like that. Not stepping in or involving herself in the slightest until the situation was resolved, but still not able to fully turn a blind eye to the dysfunctional family. Not able to completely cover up the stains, even to herself.
He coughed suddenly, choking on his own tears and saliva as they mixed in his mouth. The salty water tasted of stagnant childhoods and wasted hopes. He dragged himself into a sitting position, hoping to ease the coughing fit, leaning back on his hands. Taking a deep breath in, he began to push the air out slowly, counting to four as he did, a calming technique Izuku had kindly taken time to teach him before he'd left for the holidays.
*Wonder if he knew.* Shouto rarely talked about his family, and certainly hadn't mentioned their dynamics in any detail, except for the occasional jokingly-made passing comment. *He probably guessed something was up. He's good at knowing what I'm feeling without me saying anything.*
He breathed the numbers out softly.
"One... two... three... four..."
Breathing in again, feeling the grain of the floorboards against his palms, one cool, one warm.
"One... two... three-"
Suddenly a crash broke his attempt to soothe himself. From the kitchen, the distinct noise of heavy metal being dropped or thrown followed by the familiar and fear-inducing roar of Endeavour's rage. He stiffened, senses alert. He wondered what had further invoked the wrath of his father. Maybe Fuyumi had spoken up for once and said the wrong thing, further stoking the fire, or maybe his mother had tried to intervene. Stop the man she had been forced to marry. Protect her child instead of-
Images flashed through Shouto's mind like a film reel, single frame by single frame. His mother's furious face, features twisted with insanity, the gleam of the kettle in her hand. Then a screen of pure white, and a searing pain spreading from his right eye.
Shouto collapsed down to the floor in a defenseless heap, moaning, clawing at his eye with frantic hands. Controlled breathing fled from his mind as he huddled into a ball, tears once again falling freely and with a renewed intensity. Ice began to creep up his arms, drawing delicate patterns on the fragile boy, as if he was shattered glass. His body shook violently, wracked with sobs and coughing. With a great gasp for air, his unmarred eye flew open for a second, scanning the room desperately before alighting upon the small form sitting slumped near his bed.
One hand clasped over his scar, he reached as though he were a drowning man and pulled it towards himself, clutching it to his chest before falling back to the floor, ribs filled with heaving sobs. Pressing his lips into the teddy, his noises of distress were muffled against the soft fabric.
*Not that it matters, nobody will come to check whether they can hear me or not. Why would they?*
Lifting the teddy's face level with his, parallel to the ground, he gazed into its glassy eye, noting hundreds of specks of dust caught eternally inside the marble.
*We're barely family. Just strangers living in the same house.*
Izuku had given it to him. A brown rabbit with a striped blue, red, and yellow scarf. He could see his smiling face in his minds eye as he handed Shouto the present.
"-20th anniversary limited edition All Might bear, so you can have someone to keep you company when I'm away! Isn't he cute?"
Shouto pressed the rabbit to his nose, breathing in Izuku's smell.
*I miss him so much.*
He lay on his side, staring at the rabbit. Incredibly tired, exhausted from crying, he could barely keep his eyes open, but didnt have the energy to actually shut them. His mouth hung open, breathing steadying and slowing as he lay, almost paralysed. A sticky trail of mucus had formed a path halfway down his face.
Suddenly aware of the cold pool of tears between his cheek and the floor, Shouto blinked. He sat up, drying his eyes and wiping the snot away with his jumper sleeve. It had gotten significantly darker.
*How long has it been? Probably a couple hours at least.*
Nothing but the night was visible through the window. He sighed, picking himself up from the floor and moving to the bed. Sharp spikes of his hair poked at his eyes, slick from his tears. Clutching the rabbits paw in his own hand, he slipped into bed, continuing to stare out the window. Pulling off his shirt, he lay down, still refusing to even entertain the idea of releasing his grip on the teddy.
*At least I'll be back at UA soon. My father can't find me there.*
Consoling himself with that fact, he had settled and was beginning to fall asleep, occasionally sniffing from the residue of his upset.
*And Izuku will be there too... I should take him somewhere nice as a thank you for the teddy.*
His thoughts began to wander, taking him through fanatical routes of café dates and coffee stops. Comfortably immersed in an almost-sleep, Shouto was suddenly jolted back to semi-consciousness by his phone buzzing from his floor.
*A message?*
Bleary eyed, he reached for his mobile, flipping it open. Blinking at the top of the bright screen, a message from Midoriya.
'Goodnight Shouto, sleep well + see you soon! sending lots of love <3'
He smiled sleepily, sending back a similarly worded messenge before tossing his phone down.
*I can get through this if Izuku is waiting for me on the other side.*
Nestling further into his bed, he held the rabbit close to his heart, wrapping the end of the scarf around his fingers. The house was quiet now, and Shouto could hear the light, night breeze rustling branches and leaves outside. His window was open slightly, the chill from the night gently stroking his face, lulling him softly into an easy sleep.