Chapter Text
Youngjae has been on his feet for the better part of the night now, talking to people he barely knows, and he’s so, so tired. He wants to get out of this party already and crash, or take advantage of the open bar, anything to get out of the position he's in. But those options seem impossible right now because his sister's got her arm linked with his—taking care of him, she says, but he knows their parents set her up for that to keep a close eye on him.
Last year he'd gotten too drunk and came out to a group of old, but very, very important men, fed up with the years of them trying to partner him up with their single daughters. Not so proud now that he’s nearly thirty and still being coddled by his family like this.
He also can't not come to these company parties, when he’d been attending them his whole life and no amount of excuses would pass for his parents. It’s just a little too much—hundreds of people crowded in this way too fancy hotel function room, the majority of whom Youngjae guarantees are solely here for the food and drinks, and don't care to celebrate the legacy of the company.
But admittedly, he does like dressing up for it, and the food's also really good. So maybe a nice dinner would've sufficed.
He’s fine with the celebration actually, it’s the whole networking after the event’s officially over and having to listen to everyone suck up to one another that is killing him. He's not interested in making connections with anyone, especially when it is as if all the guys he happen to talk to are these straight and rich, boring men that are oh so full of themselves, his sister’s type it seems, and he’s currently in this group solely because of her whims.
He needs to get out of here. If he hears one more word out of this guy's mouth about his morning routine, he might do something worse than coming out—he hasn't decided yet exactly what—then maybe he'll get permanently barred from ever coming.
"Noona," Youngjae whispers, tapping her arm to steal her attention, "let me get you a drink. You seem like you need one, hm? C'mon, I've been good."
She hums in thought beside him, not paying too much attention, but then lets go of his arm and sighs. "Fine. Just be quick, Youngjae."
Youngjae kisses her cheek, too happy, and whispers, "I love you so, so much, you have no idea. What do you want? A Coke? Americano?"
She waves him off and turns back to the guy who's talking, so he bounds off to the bar where he orders a double shot for himself. He downs that easily then orders whatever cocktail the cute bartender offers up to him and savors being alone for the first time that night. Maybe he could stay here before he retreats back to his hotel room, breathe a little.
A loud shrill voice pops out of the other chatter around him, and Youngjae groans—how did he just notice him now? It doesn't take long to spot his best friend, the social butterfly that he is, standing out in a group of people he's never seen before. Youngjae beelines over there and says sorry to whoever he was talking to and drags him over to an empty table at the corner of the room, where they hopefully won’t be bothered.
"You bitch!" Youngjae says as he plops down onto a seat. "Thanks a lot, Gyeom-ah. You should've saved me an hour ago, I was dying up there."
And Yugyeom just laughs at him like a monster, as if his pain was the funniest thing ever, and it annoys him to no end.
"Stop being so dramatic, hyung. We go through this every year—just suck it up," Yugyeom says. "And don't blame me, you idiot, you saved yourself just fine.”
He slinks back into his seat and sighs because Yugyeom is right, he has saved himself fine, but it still took everything in him to do so, plus his sister's trust. At least now he could finally retreat back to their hotel room and decompress.
“Yeah, whatever, I’m tired, Yugyeom-ah. Come on, let's get out of this place. Say we steal a bottle of tequila, hole up in our room and order chicken, huh? Sure beats this.”
Yugyeom rolls his eyes. “We’re not leaving just to lay in bed and get drunk. The night is still young, let loose, we’re here to socialize, hyung.”
The other option would be to do what he said, but all alone, and that’s way too depressing. So he gives in and accepts the half-drunk drink Yugyeom hands him. It’s way too bitter, actual gasoline he thinks, the total opposite of what he usually gets, but he won't be picky at this point.
“So who were those people you were talking to?” Youngjae asks.
Admittedly, the atmosphere here beats what they would’ve had in their room where Youngjae would be mopey and complain about being tired again, now he's sufficiently buzzed and stress-free. They get more drinks, a basket of fries and those little sandwiches appear in front of them because Youngjae has sweet talked a server into giving them some, and he’s savoring every bite as he listens to his friend ramble on.
“Look at that guy,” Yugyeom says, nodding to a man by the bar.
It’s one of the new hires on Youngjae’s team talking to two others, someone he’s barely spoken to outside of pleasantries and work.
Youngjae conjures up his name, “Lim Jaebeom? Why? What about him?”
Yugyeom smirks and leans in close to whisper in his ear, “a little birdie told me he's gay.”
So what…? The guy's not required to come out to his employer that Youngjae would have that information, Youngjae doesn’t need to know that in the first place. He is confused as to why Yugyeom is telling him all this now, when he's been here for a couple months at this point—this is week-one-gossip. But Yugyeom wiggles his eyebrows all suggestive at him that he gets his reason. Okay. It’s not like he ever saw the guy other than an employee—they’re all professionals in his team, and Youngjae treats his job seriously.
“Is little birdie what you call your brain now? What, since they’re the same size?” Youngjae jokes, but Yugyeom completely ignores him and continues staring at Jaebeom. He sighs. “So he’s gay… I don’t care. You know I’m not looking for anything at the moment, so nothing’s gonna happen. I’m not desperate to get laid either.” He quickly adds that last part because he knows his best friend would bring it up again.
Yugyeom looks at him incredulously, which earns him a slap on his shoulder. He chuckles. “Right, else you would’ve fucked me by now.”
Youngjae kicks him right under the table and looks around. Thankfully no one is in earshot of them and minding their own business. He whisper shouts to his friend, “can you keep your fucking voice down? Or keep it PG, jeez, we’re at a work event.”
Yugyeom just laughs. “I didn't even say anything about you two getting together! You’re the one who always assumes things.” This gets Yugyeom a glare and feigns ignorance as he continues, “I’m not saying you could use a good fuck—which is true by the way—I'm saying you should at least open up and befriend another one of our kind.”
He rolls his eyes. The two of them are the only ones out on their floor and it’s true that having someone else would be nice, even better that he’s someone Youngjae closely works with. But the new guy looks awfully straight—a chick-magnet even it seems, never not having a woman by his side ever since they’ve been eyeing him, a small smile on his face as he talks to them.
Youngjae shrugs. “Sure, but where did you even hear that he's gay?” he asks, feigning disinterest.
He really should shut down talk on Jaebeom right then and there, especially since he can't let it change Youngjae's perception of the guy. He shouldn't even be encouraging this behavior from Yugyeom in the first place, when the guy creates 70% of all the rumors in the office (maybe only 5% of which end up true). He only gets away with it because he’s got a loud mouth, a wild imagination, and close enough to him and the people in HR that he never gets in trouble. This isn’t even the first rumor he created surrounding someone’s sexuality… but Youngjae can’t lie, this one excites him.
Yugyeom smirks. “Well, he’s been rejecting every girl ever since he got here, and you see how popular he is even now. That smug fucker even rejected Jihyo!” Youngjae scoffs at the name, of course Yugyeom would mention her. “And she’s a total babe—everyone’s type—so he’s got to be kinda gay for that.”
Youngjae resists the urge to slap Yugyeom on the head and settles on glaring at him. “You’re an idiot. You made up this rumor because Jihyo turned you down and you can’t fathom any other reason someone else would do this to her.”
“No! Hey, what do you think of me?” Again with the raised voice from his friend, making Youngjae roll his eyes. “It’s been a year, hyung, I’ve moved on from her. Besides, I don’t need to see him sucking dick to know he is gay—I just know it,” Yugyeom says then leans back in his seat, looking all cocky, irritating him. “And my eyes around the office have all agreed with me.”
Of course Yugyeom’s HR cronies are in on this too. Youngjae hums, he just can’t buy it. “What did Bammie say? Have you told him about the guy?” he asks.
Because Bambam's got the best gaydar of them all, and the little shit really chose the worst time to quit and miss out on the party. If only he was here, then they would know for sure and wouldn't have to debate it like this.
Yugyeom shakes his head and answers, “it's not that easy to convey vibes through text, y’know? I'm still looking for his Insta to send to him, now that would really lock it in.”
Then this feels like too much—if the most basic SNS search comes up blank for the guy, maybe he wants to stay private and not have a group of strangers digging into his private life.
He sighs. “Why don't we just let him be. I don’t want to speculate about a stranger’s life like this.”
Yugyeom laughs and rolls his eyes. “Don’t pretend to be all righteous now when you've been shit-talking all night! Besides, Jaebeom-hyung's not even a stranger, we all work on the same floor. And you work with him, not me, so you’ve got to be more than strangers at this point.”
Yugyeom’s right. Again. About being more than strangers that is. But what piques Youngjae’s attention is that Yugyeom calls the guy hyung? Apparently they’ve gotten close over the past few weeks and he hasn’t been informed about it.
Youngjae narrows his eyes at his friend. “When did you two become close?”
“We talk sometimes,” Yugyeom says with a shrug. “He’s new and needed someone to teach him about the lore of this place. He’s pretty cool.”
“Teaching him nothing good, I presume?”
Yugyeom ignores his accusation, diverts them elsewhere by saying, “you can’t deny that he’s attractive.”
He is, objectively speaking. Jaebeom has never caught his eye during work hours, maybe because he is actually focused on work as opposed to these people around him . It seems like he cleaned up nicely for tonight—they are at a party after all. He looks like he just walked out of a webtoon panel and waltzed into the bar all handsome like that.
Maybe the alcohol is changing his perception of things, making him think that, or the lack of blinding fluorescent lights in this place, or the sad fact that he really does need to get laid, because he shouldn't be thinking of that guy like this.
He doesn’t budge when they make eye contact and Jaebeom sends a small smile his way.
“If you think Lim Jaebeom is so hot…” Youngjae starts, thinking out loud, “why don’t you fuck him? ‘Cause I’m good, really.”
Because Youngjae doesn’t need to get it from him, he can probably text someone later to hook up tomorrow or something, no big deal. The door's wide open for Yugyeom, he's got no problem with that.
But Yugyeom suddenly becomes shy and turns away from him, mumbles, “I’m sorta seeing someone else already.”
“What?!”
That derails the conversation away from Jaebeom, only now hearing about this when it’s apparently been weeks. He feels betrayed and Yugyeom, defeated, easily lets out all the details—with pictures of them together, telling him about how they met. The guy is cute, they look cute, and with the way Yugyeom looks so happy talking about him, Youngjae’s less bitter about it.
They talk about other things and drink some more. After a while, Youngjae excuses himself to go to the restroom and to subtly scan the room to see if he’s got family still on his tail, but the coast is clear.
He stops by the bar to get a refill of their drinks on his way back; he knows he took some time away from the table, but he didn’t expect Yugyeom would have the gall to invite someone else to replace his spot.
There Jaebeom sits beside Yugyeom, laughing as if he just heard the world’s funniest joke, holding one of Youngjae’s little sandwiches, one he’d been saving. And that already leaves him with a sour taste in his mouth.
They stop laughing when he gets close enough and gets both their attention. Youngjae nods his head in greeting, “Jaebeom-ssi.”
Jaebeom smiles, replies, “good evening, boss.”
Youngjae huffs as he sits down. “Gee, I would’ve gotten another drink if I knew someone else was gonna join us,” he says, giving Yugyeom a pointed look, hopefully he could tell with his expression that he’s asking what the fuck is this? There’s a devious glint in the other’s eyes—Youngjae knows it all too well. It gets him thinking he should’ve went to the bathroom in their room and called it a night.
“Well, I saw hyung standing all alone and thought he’d like some company. I know you two haven’t talked much but—” Yugyeom faces Jaebeom “—I think you’d get along with Youngjae-hyung over here. You two have a lot of… similarities.”
If he could guess, the biggest similarity would be being annoyed at him because Jaebeom looks not too pleased about this situation too.
Fine, it’s not like Youngjae can leave the table at this point. He lets the two of them talk and allows himself to be the third wheel in their conversation while he sips on his drink. They’re chatty and Yugyeom is doing a horrible job of making them friends when he actively isn’t being included, talking about shit he doesn’t care for. Who knew Yugyeom and the new guy click this well?
He only chimes in when he hears something vaguely familiar like a variety show that’s hot right now, or something about food, but the two don’t seem to mind his input too much. Jaebeom barely even looks his way, aside from a few glances when he speaks up. Maybe the guy just isn’t that interested in knowing him. He’s fine with that too. They already have a professional relationship, they don’t have to be friends on top of that.
Yugyeom pauses when his phone starts ringing and fully stops when it persists. He smirks when he reads the screen and he shows his phone to them. “Sorry, I gotta get this quickly—someone’s calling me.”
Youngjae barely gets to read who the caller is before Yugyeom presses it to his ear and mouths sorry to him. He isn't. Youngjae knows as much that the moment Yugyeom stands up and excuses himself from their table, he’ll be abandoned and left to fend for himself.
It must be Yugyeom’s new beau because he’s got a smile on his face the whole time, then says loudly into the phone, “what? Hold on, let me go somewhere quieter.” Obviously enough for Youngjae to hear, and he rolls his eyes.
They hug, and if they weren’t being watched by Jaebeom he would've kneed his friend in the groin for setting him up like this. Instead he whispers, “fuck you, I’m gonna kick you out later,” to Yugyeom's ear.
Yugyeom responds with a blinding smile and pats his cheek. “You wouldn't dare. Don’t be shy, hyung. Make friends,” he says then walks away without a second glance back at them.
Youngjae sighs.
Yugyeom’s drink sits there untouched, probably planned on doing this from the start, that bastard.
At least Jaebeom seems amused with the whole thing, he tries to fill the silence between them, saying, “Yugyeom is… a lot.”
Youngjae laughs. “That's because we let him. He needs to be put in place but he says I’m too soft for him to be taken seriously.” He turns to face Jaebeom, bites his lip. “You two are friends— how do you keep up with that?”
Jaebeom answers with a shrug, “he’s not that bad. A little eager at times, but it’s endearing.”
Youngjae’s not good at small talk, he likes to avoid it as much as possible, which is why Yugyeom should’ve left the two of them at a better place than basically nothing they’ve got going on—he really is gonna kill him later. He can’t stand this awkward silence. Jaebeom seems content with it though, fidgeting with a ring on his finger, the same satisfied grin he got when he was talking with those ladies earlier. So full of himself. But still a part of Youngjae thinks that he prefers this than being back in the group with his sister—he's not here to impress anyone, he can relax.
“What’s the deal with you?” Youngjae blurts out.
Jaebeom raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean…?”
Youngjae hums, he didn't really know where he was going with that. He half-expected Jaebeom to take the question for what it is and spill everything there is to know about him, give him a run down of his recent history because Youngjae knows next to nothing about the guy and doesn’t know where to start asking.
He thinks he remembers basic things from when he started and they were first introduced though, and remarks, “well, I know that you’re a couple years older than me but barely have any experience.”
Jaebeom laughs. “Okay, is this an HR meeting all of the sudden?”
He shakes his head. That’s really all he has on the other man, well and that he’s… possibly gay, but Youngjae can’t ask him that. And Youngjae would rather ask that than bring up work.
“It’s a career shift of sorts,” Jaebeom says with a shrug. “I used to be in a band.”
The confession catches him off guard with how casually he says it, at how unexpected and widely different it is from everyone else he's met that night. It sure explains a lot of how Jaebeom presents himself. They have a lax dress code at the office, and Jaebeom definitely takes advantage of that by wearing baggy jeans and loose tops, along with accessories that jingle every time he moved around. He even has wavy hair that goes past his chin, brushed back and tucked neatly behind his ears.
He has an aura that isn’t meant for desk jobs, that’s for sure, and a confidence he's envious of. So being a rocker tracks for him.
“Like in a rock band?” Youngjae asks.
Jaebeom nods, he pulls out his phone to show off his lock screen of someone playing a guitar under spotlights. Youngjae barely gets a closer look before Jaebeom pockets it.
“That was from two years ago. We were good—doing gigs in clubs, festivals and stuff,” Jaebeom explains.
“And what was that like?”
“Really fun… it’s what dreams are made of. We had it good, signed to this small label and released a couple albums,” Jaebeom says with a small smile. “It paid pretty decently too.”
“Then why are you here?” Youngjae asks before he could think. He finds himself curious, wanting to know more, but the question makes Jaebeom take a deep breath—a sore subject then he presumes. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to.”
Jaebeom shakes his head then smiles. “No, it’s fine. We had a big fight—creative differences mostly. Our priorities shifted too, some of the guys settled down and had kids. I’m not there yet… it’s not like I— we’re still young! Why are they in such a rush—whatever—” he lets out a huff “—it was just in time for our contract renewal, they called it quits, but I tried making music on my own, but it’s pretty rough. It turns out I only do well with the guys, or-or my heart’s just not in it anymore. I don’t know, maybe I’m just burnt out. The past few months of trying were kinda rough, so I kinda… gave up.
“I wasn’t going broke or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about, but after wasting away for like half a year, I went a little insane and my friends weren’t much help. So I thought maybe I should make use of my degree again. And you guys surprisingly hired me again back from when I interned here as a student ages ago so… here I am,” he finishes with a smile.
“Oh.”
Quite a lot of information to process. Youngjae already knows that Jaebeom used to work here, started when Youngjae was still in school, but it’s a lot more interesting now knowing why he’s got such a large gap in his resume.
It's sort of like a heartbreak what Jaebeom experienced, isn't it? Falling out of love for something you’re passionate about, what he'd described as what dreams are made of. He can't imagine how hard that must have been—never been too passionate about something that much—but he is well versed in heartbreaks, can sympathize that and its aftermath.
Then working here some sort of rebound relationship then? Jaebeom doesn’t want to be here, this is just a switch up of his past to cope with his present. Half a year doesn’t seem like an ample transition time from whatever life Jaebeom had before this, but he seems like he's adapted well.
On the brighter side, if their band released a couple of albums together, at least they had a good thing going on for a while. He doesn’t know the specifics of anything, but with however many members they had, it's only natural that they butt heads and have creative differences. It's a shame that it resulted in an actual break up.
Should Youngjae console him? Jaebeom seems not too bothered though, since he'd told this all to a stranger. But still Youngjae reaches a tentative hand out and pats the other man's arm slowly.
“It sucks that that all happened to you,” Youngjae comments.
Jaebeom dismisses it with a shake of his head and laughs. “I'm over it, it's whatever.”
“It's not just whatever!” Youngjae retorts. Jaebeom shouldn’t dismiss it as if it's nothing. “It's character building… makes you the most interesting guy here.”
Jaebeom seems to perk up at the statement. “You find me interesting?" he asks.
Youngjae nods. That should be obvious. Jaebeom beats all of the same tech bros he’s been hearing all night.
All things considered, Youngjae hates that what interests him the most is how nosy he is because if he thinks about it… Jaebeom being in a band, a performer, that makes him some sort of celebrity, right? And there has to be some juicy information that he could share. Youngjae knows there is.
“What— maybe I've heard of you before… what did you say your band’s name was?” Youngjae asks, trying not to seem too eager about it.
He highly doubts it though because rock is something he rarely listened to—he was more into pop than anything. But Youngjae also thinks that he would’ve heard of them if they had a gay member, out or not, again because he's nosy and has an ear to the ground with stuff like that. He'd especially pay attention if the member is someone as cute as Jaebeom, so this doesn't exactly bode well.
Jaebeom seems to think about it for a bit, but he shakes his head then laughs. “No, I can’t—I’m too shy, sorry. Next time, maybe,” he says, then whispers conspiratorially, “I haven’t even mentioned this to Yugyeom yet.”
Clearly. Yugyeom’s able to dig up dirt on anyone, yet he hasn’t been able to find out about Jaebeom’s apparently very public past life. He feels like he has a leg up already on his friend, when he’s already privy to this information. He wants to know a lot more though, treat this as a scavenger hunt of sorts with his friend.
“Then drink up, rock star,” Youngjae says, big smile on his face as he pushes Yugyeom’s abandoned drink in front of Jaebeom, who easily accepts. “I’m going to have to pry that information out of you by the end of the night.”
Jaebeom raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Is that a challenge?”
Youngjae nods, and Jaebeom takes a big swig of the drink, wincing as he does so.
“Why? You don’t like it?” Youngjae asks.
Jaebeom nods. “Way too sweet,” he answers.
Huh. Youngjae really liked it. Fruity, yet strong—if Yugyeom were here he would joke that it was just like him. Straight guy like Jaebeom probably likes the disgusting stuff, straight like him.
“Then what do you usually drink?” he asks.
“Like some good whiskey, maybe a Negroni,” Jaebeom answers with a shrug.
Youngjae can’t even hide his disgust and groans, of course he has assumed right, which makes Jaebeom laugh.
“Is it too sweet? I love me some girly drinks, and it hits just right. Tasting plain alcohol takes the fun out of it for me, and I hate those annoying people that say you learn to enjoy the taste, because why? When I can already get a drink that tastes good?” he says with a laugh.
“I like it when one minute you think you’re just sipping on soda, having fun, then the next you get all wobbly when you stand up.” Though that would take quite a while for Youngjae, since he can handle his alcohol well, but it’s still a fun experience. “I like getting surprised like that, it’s very…”
Youngjae searches for the appropriate word, but it’s Jaebeom who supplies it nicely: “unassuming.”
Pretty much. He nods. An unassuming little citrus number that tastes like candy will always hits the spot, but on second thought, that's not entirely true.
Youngjae chuckles. “I actually also do like beer— the taste of that has grown on me… so maybe don’t actually believe everything I say,” he jokes.
Jaebeom grimaces again. “You mean the non-flavored ones?” he asks. "Those are disgusting.”
Youngjae clicks his tongue. He refuses to let Jaebeom diss the drinks he likes, he also won’t allow Jaebeom to redirect their conversation away from more pressing topics.
“Hey, we're not done here, Jaebeom-ssi. Tell me more about you—were you guys popular? Did you have hits?”
But for all his questions, Jaebeom gives him terse replies back, revealing absolutely nothing. Youngjae won't give up though, he even opens his phone and goes to a random rock playlist to ask one by one if that was Jaebeom’s band. And every time Jaebeom says no to him with a growing smile.
“You're saying you're not a member of The Villains?” Youngjae asks as he looks up from his phone. Jaebeom nods in response, which makes him groan. “You fit the vibe though.”
Jaebeom laughs. “What’s that supposed to mean? Do I seem like a bad person to you?”
“Yeah, you’re a bad guy for withholding information from me,” Youngjae jokes. “Are you not threatened by my authority?” He tries to act menacing by crossing his arms and squaring his shoulders, but it’s no use because he just doesn’t have it in him to look tough, and Jaebeom has the audacity to laugh at his bluff.
“Ooh, I’m terrified. Are you gonna report me for that?” Jaebeom jokes, then shakes his head and looks at him apologetically. “You’re really not going to get anything from me tonight, boss, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t even care about your band name anymore,” Youngjae declares, again bluffing. And still Jaebeom is on to him. He sighs. “Fine. What if… if you just sang for me a little? Any song will do! Then I'll stop bothering you.”
This will be his last stab at it before he completely gives up, and it feels a little too forward, but Jaebeom doesn’t seem to mind too much if his smile is any indication. So Youngjae continues, “hey, come on, so I know what voice to look out for when I’m listening to this stupid playlist.”
Jaebeom hums, then shakes his head. “You wouldn't hear my voice much anyways ‘cause I just sing the harmonies. I mostly just play the guitar.”
Ah, so Jaebeom is a guitarist. Youngjae does a small victory dance in his mind and nods. “I see. I'll take that—at least I managed something out of you.”
Youngjae thinks he spots Jaebeom trying to hide his smile as he takes a sip of his drink, and that makes him chuckle.
“Cute.”
Jaebeom clears his throat. “Okay, okay, enough about me,” he says, then places his glass down. He leans forward, resting his forearms on the table between them. “What about you, boss? What’s your deal?”
But Youngjae's too tired of talking about himself tonight, even if it’s Jaebeom asking him that question. He shakes his head. “No, you don’t need to know me. I’m not nearly as interesting as you,” he says honestly.
Jaebeom looks at him in disbelief and chuckles as he shakes his head. “I’d disagree…” he says, then mumbles, "being the president’s son and all.”
Youngjae is shy all of the sudden and he bites his lip. He shouldn't care too much that Jaebeom knows this about him when everyone does, he’s bound to know. But had he mentioned this before?
“So you’ve heard of that, huh?” he asks.
Jaebeom laughs. “Was that supposed to be a secret…? I’ve been here the whole night, I saw you up there onstage with your father making a toast earlier. Saw him parade you around after.”
“So you’ve been watching me?” Youngjae retorts.
Jaebeom shrugs. “I pay attention… and I also may have heard about it my first week here. Word spreads.”
Youngjae rolls his eyes—there was only one person he’d hear that from. “Don’t listen to Yugyeom, he’s bad for you.”
Jaebeom laughs. “So how’s that like?”
“Besides the crushing pressure I’m under? It’s been good. I live comfortably. I-I don’t know what else I could say that wouldn’t make you think I’m a fucking snob,” he laughs, “but you were a rocker, surely that afforded you some finer things too. I mean, you carry around a Maison Margiela bag.”
That detail he noticed the day Jaebeom started, he saw it sitting on his desk and did a double take. So admittedly, Youngjae's got a pretty skewed set of priorities if it took this long to really notice its just as pretty owner.
Jaebeom frowns a little, nods. “Yeah, but look where I am now.”
Youngjae knows he said the wrong thing, he shouldn’t have assumed. Of course they're not the same. They're from different worlds, Jaebeom is nothing like him.
He tries to retract, “Jaebeom—”
“So what?” Jaebeom asks, cutting him off. “Are you going to have all this one day?” He gestures his hand around the room.
Youngjae shakes his head. “No, no. My parents want me to… but it really isn’t for me. That's why I'm working with you and not in some other department. I don’t think I can handle being the head of anything, much less being a director, it's too much. I’m good where I am.”
Jaebeom slightly leans forward and stares intently at him. “And have you always wanted to be where you are?” he asks, curious, and it makes Youngjae uneasy somehow—he isn't that interesting to warrant this attention.
“Ever since I can remember… yeah, well—maybe. Family’s always been important to me, I knew I wanted to follow them and fit myself somewhere in here. I could’ve gone anywhere and they'd have me, but I like the artsy and problem solving aspect of what we do now. It's fulfilling, and it’s led me to great people,” Youngjae says then shrugs.
He's having fun, sure, but it's never been like how Jaebeom described how being in a band is like for him, never been that passionate about something before. “I put myself here so I’m in no place to complain about how things are ‘cause I’ve had it so good. But I don’t know—I’m not sure—sometimes I think I’ve been groomed into wanting this since it’s all I’ve ever known.”
“Well, you've still got time to figure out what to do,” Jaebeom says quietly
Youngjae finds it sweet that he's being consoled like this, but he doesn’t need it. He's more than fine. He smiles. “You don't have to worry about me, Jaebeom.”
“You have siblings?” Jaebeom asks suddenly.
Youngjae nods. “Two. I’m the youngest.”
“And they’re not in the family business?”
Youngjae shakes his head. “I’m the only one who stuck around. They’re in different fields now, but they’re having fun somewhere in here.”
“Follow the footsteps of your siblings,” Jaebeom says, and Youngjae can’t help laughing. They’ve got a lot more problems than he can fathom, problems he'd be saddled with if he does what they did. He really is good where he is right now. Jaebeom sighs. “I'm serious. We're still young, be like me and use this as a stepping stone or something—branch out.”
It really is sweet of Jaebeom to be looking out for him, but it just affirms that they're nothing alike.
“I've put in a lot of effort here already,” Youngjae says with a shrug. Feels like a waste of his time if he veers into something else at this point. “I like it here, like being able to goof off with Yugyeommie. And I like contributing to the family legacy or whatever, makes it worth the time I've invested being here or something along those lines.”
Jaebeom seems skeptical of his answer, pursing his lips in thought. He nods after a few moments though and doesn't refute it. “Then I look forward to seeing your rise to the top as the sole heir, Prince Youngjae,” he says, drawling out the name in a sigh.
Youngjae rolls his eyes. He is not. He wouldn’t even put himself in a position to take over when the time comes—he’s got cousins and uncles vying for that already. So he isn't an heir, nor a prince—that nickname he's never liked, but this instance maybe he liked the way his name passed Jaebeom’s lips. And if it makes Jaebeom smile, like it amuses him, fine.
His phone buzzes, and he looks down to see a text from Yugyeom.
gonna head over to the room now if ur still talking to jaebeom hyung
Huh. Youngjae never thought it was an option to call Yugyeom back to their table. He doesn’t bother replying, they'll talk later, though he is surprised his friend hasn’t gone up to the room by now, when he's been gone for over an hour now at this point.
Jaebeom takes this time to check his phone now too, and Youngjae gets the opportunity to observe him.
Now that he’s much closer, Youngjae’s a little annoyed how much better Jaebeom looks at this distance, kicks himself that he hadn’t noticed it the handful of times they've talked. Just look at him, all smug because he knows he’s hot.bout of the usual attire he wears to the office—a blazer that fits right and black slacks, a shirt with its top buttons undone (is that a mole on Jaebeom's sternum he sees peeking out? Oh, he's going insane). There’s a modest amount of silver studs on his ears, even has his hair styled for the occasion and smells really good. He’s the total package.
Jaebeom locks his phone and puts it down, then smiles wide at Youngjae when he catches him staring. Of course he’s got perfect teeth too. Fuck this guy.
Youngjae downs the rest of his drink and lets out a deep breath. He can definitely feel the buzz now, so that’s his excuse when he eventually regrets any of his actions.
“Are you gay?” he asks.
Surely there's a more elegant way to phrase that, but he's too tired to think.
“What?” Jaebeom laughs. “I don’t think you’re legally allowed to ask me that, boss.”
The way Jaebeom bashfully averts his eyes when Youngjae stares back at him and bites his lower lip, he’s already got his answer. A straight man would’ve cussed him out by now, wouldn’t even have spent all this time talking to him.
He’ll have to give props to Yugyeom later for getting it right this time.
Jaebeom still looks a bit panicked, so Youngjae reassures him. “You don’t have to answer that question if you don’t want to, I respect your privacy. But I’ll have you know, I’m not asking you that as your boss, anyways,” he chuckles, then hesitates. “I’m asking you that as another gay guy.”
“Oh… you?”
Youngjae has to laugh. It’s surprising that of all things Yugyeom could’ve told him, him being gay isn’t one of it. He does suppose that maybe Yugyeom is in no position to out him to someone new, but everyone on their floor knows already so Jaebeom would learn about it eventually. And who’s he kidding, Yugyeom doesn’t care about courtesy like that. Maybe it just slipped his mind, that could've happened too.
“Ah, word on that hasn’t reached you yet?” Youngjae asks. Jaebeom shakes his head and laughs. “Why? You didn’t expect that from me?”
“I don’t really assume anything about others and didn’t want to ask either,” Jaebeom says with a shrug, and Youngjae takes this as a personal attack on him. “I don’t know what to expect from you now. You’re full of surprises.”
Youngjae leans back in his seat and crosses his arms in front of his chest. He’s the one that’s full of surprises? Interesting. Jaebeom puts too much unwarranted value on him when he's all sorts of plain.
“Oh, really? What else is surprising about me?” Youngjae asks.
“That you’re actually not that intimidating,” Jaebeom answers easily.
“I… intimidate you?” Youngjae repeats, doubtful. He had never been told that before, he tries to be as approachable as possible. He shakes his head. “I don’t think I am—people say I look friendly.”
Jaebeom agrees. “They’re right. It’s got nothing to do with how you look anyways. It’s all in the name, and that you’re my superior.”
That makes sense, but now that he’s sufficiently observed Jaebeom up close, he isn’t the intimidating one between them.
“Actually… you seem more like the intimidating one than me,” Youngjae says.
Jaebeom gapes at him, mouth falling open, and Youngjae takes that as a sign to continue. “It’s your sharp eyes,” Youngjae explains, “you look like you’ve got a resting angry face, staring at everyone so intensely. Maybe it’s in the eyebrows too. And there’s this arrogance about you, when you move around and look at others.”
Jaebeom chuckles. “Really? What's that supposed to mean?”
Youngjae hesitates to reply. Maybe he really shouldn’t say what he’s thinking when he’s said too much tonight already, but Jaebeom is gay, he’s handsome and looking at him with those intense eyes, hanging onto every word he’s saying.
He nods. “Yeah, like you know you’re the most attractive man in the room.”
Jaebeom doesn’t miss a beat. “No,” he says, shaking his head, then smirks. “That can’t be me, when it’s clearly you.”
Oh, openly flirting with Jaebeom and Youngjae really likes it, relishes in the buzz he gets—a separate one from the cocktails. He bites the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from smiling too hard at the statement. Instead, he leans forward to goad Jaebeom further. “What else surprised you?”
“You have a cute smile,” Jaebeom says, again without any hesitation.
And how could Youngjae not smile after hearing that? So he looks away, no, he won’t take the bait, won't let Jaebeom have it so easily.
“That surprised you? Guess, I don’t do much smiling in the office, huh?” he asks.
Jaebeom hums. “You really should. Productivity would go through the roof.”
Normally he’d say it’s rude to tell someone to smile more—because it is—but he lets it slide because Jaebeom also has a cute smile. He shakes his head because logically what he said makes no sense. “I doubt that.”
Jaebeom shrugs. “It would for me.”
Right, of course.
Youngjae looks back at him, and it's cute how Jaebeom is sincerely looking like he’s thinking about it, humming as he studies Youngjae’s face. Should he be shy at the other man blatantly checking him out? Probably. But he likes the attention, this is the only attention he’s liked the entire night.
“I thought you’d be more handsome without your glasses, but I think I prefer them on you.”
It never occurred to him that he could just not wear them, that he even looked better with them on. He only wears his contacts in big occasions like these because his glasses always came out funny in pictures. But this opinion did come from Jaebeom, who he finds isn't really objective.
“Don’t I look like a dork?” Youngjae asks.
Jaebeom shakes his head. “Still cute.”
Again with calling him cute. Youngjae lets out a huff. “Seems to be a lot of things about my appearance—Jaebeom-ssi, do you look at me a lot?” he asks with a teasing smile.
Jaebeom nods. “I gotta have something to keep me motivated in the office,” he says.
Youngjae thinks that he says that too casually when that means… Jaebeom has got his eyes on him for a while now? Well, obviously this attraction doesn't just come from tonight, so what the fuck’s he been doing that he’s never noticed the man? He doesn’t know what to reply to that and remains staring straight ahead at Jaebeom who smiles at him.
“And of course I’m just going off what I know,” Jaebeom confesses. He purses his lips in thought then continues, “I, uh… if you’d let me, I would seriously like to get to know you more…”
That sounds a lot like Jaebeom asking him out on a date, Youngjae thinks. And it’s silly to balk at that when they’re actively flirting with each other. But they’re at a work event, they work together, and Youngjae doesn’t have the capacity right now to be thinking of the possibility of them being a thing outside of tonight. Of course Youngjae wants the guy, who doesn’t? But this right now is just harmless flirting, having fun, nothing too serious. A date though? He possibly can’t… they really shouldn’t…
Youngjae clears his throat and thinks he even sits up straighter. “Oh, Jaebeom…” he breathes out.
And Jaebeom immediately gets the hint, shaking his head and whispering, “Sorry,” as he looks away. “I overstepped.”
Youngjae feels weak right now, and retracts at the cartoonish way Jaebeom sulks back into his seat. Because he'd been genuine and there's no overstepping of any kind when Youngjae blurred all boundaries the moment he asked Jaebeom if he was gay. Maybe something can happen between them—a date at least—he just has to think about it with a clearer mind and at a later time, not now.
Youngjae sighs. “No, no, you didn’t. Sorry, it's me, and tonight is just… I don’t know. Maybe, ask me again when we’re both sober.”
Jaebeom gives him a sad smile and nods his head.
Youngjae thought that was a good place to steer their conversation elsewhere, so he’s surprised when Jaebeom continues.
“The previous stuff I said were pure flattery,” he says softly, "doesn't make it less true though, but I do want to say that I’m genuinely surprised that you’re this easy to talk to. I've had fun. I like talking to you.”
And if nothing comes out between the two of them, they can have this, they can just talk because Youngjae also enjoys talking to Jaebeom. He smiles and replies a soft, “thanks.”
Jaebeom returns the smile.
“And when you’re not lecturing me on my mistakes like this, you’ve got a pretty nice voice.”
Lecturing seems too harsh of a word to use… but had he been harsh? He thinks back to past conversations with Jaebeom, conversations he’d never paid attention to and forgotten because of how ordinary they’ve been and no, he’s never been mean to anyone.
“I-I haven’t been that bad to you, right?” Youngjae asks. “It’s the stress for tonight, sorry.”
“No. You’ve always been objective,” Jaebeom says. He cocks an eyebrow at him. “You were stressed about tonight? It’s just a party. You’re doing fine now.”
“I know. The stressful part is over, obviously, I’m having fun with you now. Again, the pressure. It still stresses me out even if this happens every year. The speech I had to do earlier, then being nice for my dad’s friends. Having all those eyes on me… being perceived like this makes me tense.”
“You did well,” Jaebeom says softly. But that compliment barely means anything, so Youngjae just hums. He continues, “so how do you want to be perceived then?”
Youngjae thinks about it—like exactly how Jaebeom's been perceiving him, he’d like to say. And there's nothing stopping him from saying that, so he says it.
Jaebeom becomes bashful, poorly suppressing a smile as he looks away. “So what kind of music do you listen to?” he asks, changing the subject.
And Youngjae could only laugh—of course the ice breaker would only be brought up this deep into their conversation. It seems as though they’re both not too good at this.
“Maybe we should’ve started with that, huh?” Youngjae jokes.
They barely have any overlap in music tastes, as expected, but it's not like Jaebeom’s taste is completely unfamiliar to him—his ex liked quite the same stuff too. Now he has a few bands that he mentally adds to his playlist, so that next time he has something more to talk to Jaebeom about. Maybe.
And it becomes easier to talk to Jaebeom, maybe it’s the alcohol in his system, the way they've warmed up to each other now, or the fact that Jaebeom talks about music with such passion that it’s impossible not to pay attention to him—he’s glowing—talking about things Youngjae barely pays attention to, things he never cares for, but the enthusiasm is infectious and Youngjae's nodding along to every word.
Jaebeom is easy on the eyes too, which helps a lot with the paying attention, with his sparkling eyes and small smile, how could Youngjae not just ogle at him, listening to every word he says? Every once in a while his gaze drifts to Jaebeom's lips as he speaks, then down to his Adam's apple moving and to his smooth, pale neck. And Youngjae wonders how Jaebeom would sound like singing, with such a smooth voice already he can imagine it just as pleasant on the ears. When would he get the chance to hear that? One of these days they should go out for karaoke with the others, they haven't properly welcomed Jaebeom to the team yet, then the opportunity would present itself.
Jaebeom’s talking about his busking days when Youngjae’s phone interrupts them. And much to Youngjae’s displeasure, it’s his mother, so he has no choice but to pick it up. He looks at Jaebeom apologetically.
Jaebeom chuckles. “It’s okay, you could just say you’re bored with my story. I won't get offended,” he says.
Youngjae clutches his phone to his chest and gasps. “No! Hey, I’m not— I was listening. This will only take a second, I swear. I won’t stoop to Yugyeom’s level and bail.”
Youngjae excuses himself from the table to answer his phone—she’s calling to say that they’re leaving and want to see him before they’re off. All while talking, he eyes Jaebeom alone at their table, finishing off his drink as he looks through his phone.
Youngjae spots his parents by the doors of the hall. Again, he feels like a little kid being nagged by his mother about disobeying them and leaving his sister all alone, as if she isn’t a grown woman whose husband was also in attendance. He gets told not to drink too much—too late for that now, he thinks as he locks eyes with Jaebeom across the room, who winks at him…? At least the guy doesn’t look like he’s itching to leave, won’t abandon him when he returns.
It’s embarrassing when he’s hugged and kissed all over his face because he knows for a fact that Jaebeom has a good view of it all happening. But it doesn’t last too long and he’s let go.
“Don't stay up too late, okay? Your eye bags are getting worse,” his mother tells him with a pat on the cheek.
They aren't, but Youngjae still nods. “I won't, I promise.”
When he comes back to their table, Jaebeom welcomes him back with a smile. Youngjae notices that their table is all cleared up, maybe he shouldn’t have come back empty handed.
“I’ll get myself something, do you need a refill…?” Youngjae asks. “Or not, I could get you some water.”
Jaebeom shakes his head. “Actually, it’s getting pretty late. I think it’s time for me to head out too,” he says, and Youngjae tries not to show his disappointment.
Right. It’s already a little past midnight—the party has thinned out significantly, though based on experience, they still have an hour or so before they properly get kicked out.
There’s no point in keeping Jaebeom with him, when he already wants to leave, so Youngjae just nods.
Like a gentleman, Youngjae insists he book Jaebeom a car ride home since he’d kept him there late, and Jaebeom happily takes it. They wait for it in the hotel lobby, which is still some five minutes away. And Youngjae just sits there not quite sure what to say.
“How about you? Not heading home yet?” Jaebeom asks, filling the silence.
“I’ve got a room here, actually.”
It hangs between them—Youngjae’s hotel room and a giant what if. It isn’t an invitation for Jaebeom to stay over, but if Jaebeom asks if he could come up, he wouldn’t hesitate to kick Yugyeom out of their room, his friend would understand. And it wouldn’t be just for hooking up. There’s plenty of other things to do too—Youngjae’s thinking maybe they can continue talking, order room service, share a bottle of wine while watching twinkling lights from far away buildings. Then maybe along the way he’ll get to know if the flush in Jaebeom’s face from all the drinks they’ve had would match his chest, see the peek of the chest mole he had earlier unobstructed, see what he’d look like on his bed, or how those lips he’d been looking at the entire night would feel like on him.
These remain just as thoughts though as Jaebeom makes the decision for them, and hums. “That’s nice, saves you all the trouble.”
Youngjae’s slightly disappointed, slightly relieved that Jaebeom didn’t take the bait. He doesn’t blame the guy either, since Youngjae declined the hint of a date earlier, Jaebeom sure as hell wouldn’t hint at sex. But those two are different in his mind.
It’s quiet again between them while Youngjae watches on his phone as the dot goes closer to them. He feels like he has to do something, say something else—why does this feel so awkward? They were fine a few minutes ago. Is there an etiquette when it comes to these things?
He mulls it over even when he's walking out with Jaebeom to the car, and settles on opening the door for him…? Sure, like he'd ever done that for someone else before.
Jaebeom is also surprised with the gesture and pauses right before he ducks in. Youngjae’s eyes momentarily dart down to his lips before returning to Jaebeom’s eyes staring back at him.
A kiss wouldn’t be too bad, right? There’s no one around and it’s late enough, so a simple peck should be fine. Youngjae licks his lips. Only a few centimeters between their faces right now, he could lean in quick, satisfy his curiosity.
But again, Jaebeom makes the decision for him, hand coming over his on the door then smiles. “I can take it from here, boss, thank you.”
Youngjae grimaces at the name, reminding them of where they are. “Right,” he says then lets go and takes a step back. “I had a nice time with you, Jaebeom-ssi. I hope you get home safely.”
Jaebeom nods. “Likewise. Have a good night.”
Youngjae waves to the car as it drives away and wastes no time in going up to his room.
He only realizes he’s been smiling when he gets in and Yugyeom looks at him with a smug face that screams I told you so!
Yugyeom is in bed clad in a large fluffy robe, halfway through eating a cheeseburger, and Youngjae knows the guy has ruffled through his stuff because the room smells like everything he’s got in his toiletries bag. Yugyeom has used the shit out of all his things, yet he can’t even pretend to be annoyed or mad at his best friend when he's feeling this giddy.
When he's all clean and they're both under the covers, Yugyeom pokes him into spilling whatever happened between him and Jaebeom—it’s only fair since he’d blabbed earlier about his own relationship. And Youngjae easily acquiesces because he's happy and it’s gotten him into a chatty mood tonight.
“You’re right,” Youngjae says with a grimace.
He continues on with how they meshed well because he was genuinely interested in knowing more about Jaebeom because he was unlike everyone else. And that breaking news—Jaebeom is in fact gay.
He omits the parts about Jaebeom being in a band because he knows the magic will vanish when Yugyeom will eventually dig around for information, feed it to him and turn him into an obsessed stalker. No, everything he wants to know about Jaebeom, he wants to hear it from the man himself. He also doesn’t mention Jaebeom’s obvious attraction to him and the fact that he has been long before tonight, but he admits to finding the man really nice and handsome… he’s a good guy.
Youngjae stops talking after he runs through the events of the night in his head one more time, but Yugyeom still looks at him expectantly. He rolls his eyes. “What else do you want me to say? That's it.”
“Oh please, that's all you got to say about him?”
Youngjae clicks his tongue in thought, then speaks slowly, a bit hesitant, “Well… I booked him a ride home and while waiting down at the lobby, and even like at the car I kept thinking… I don't know, maybe I… maybe I should have… kissed him?”
Yugyeom laughs, and Youngjae regrets ever opening his mouth.
“A kiss? That's your dilemma? Dude, you should've sucked his dick.”
Youngjae would’ve done more than suck his dick if he had the chance, but he can’t admit that, Yugyeom would non-stop be pushing them towards it if he knew. So he gasps at the scandalous suggestion and slaps his friends chest.
He hides under the blanket, and mumbles, “you’re insane.”
“And you’re overthinking things,” Yugyeom retorts, then envelops him in an embrace. “My dear friend, this isn't that big of a deal. You two want to fuck? You're the only one stopping you.”
Maybe Yugyeom’s begrudgingly right about that again, but Youngjae has to be cautious about these things. What would others think? He shouldn't get too carried away by this.
It’s late and Yugyeom’s beside him having the time of his life deeply snoring, but Youngjae isn’t tired just yet. He’s on his phone looking at when the car dropped Jaebeom off more than an hour ago now. What can he do anyways? He didn't even get Jaebeom’s contact. But they're also on the same group chat for work and he could reach out from there.
His finger hovers Jaebeom’s name with the default avatar—can't even get a selfie for him to look at—and thinks of messaging first just to thank him for the company tonight, or to say good night. But it would be for the best, Youngjae decides, that he won't contact him first, nor would he be tempted to look him up online. He won't let his lonely self be swayed by Jaebeom’s handsome face because it's late and he's drunk—nothing good can come from this. His next steps are for Sober and Alert Youngjae to decide.
He is interested to see what develops over the weekend if Jaebeom reaches out, or what will be of them come Monday now that he sees Jaebeom as not just the new guy. All he's sure of is that he's looking forward to it.