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The Rtawahist Darshan became awfully popular lately, and it might’ve been just the turn of fate it needed to boost its image since Azar, a former Rtawahist Sage, was removed from the Akademiya.
Whenever Kaveh stepped outside, he couldn't go one outing without the cacophony of chatter about Sumeru’s newest craze, and it was a craze that he felt disconnected from altogether. He found himself ogling at this far out of reach prospect. The once fictional and improbable event of meeting the perfect person to compliment his person was no longer fictional or improbable at all because someone in the Rtawahist Darshan discovered the method of reading for soulmates ordained by the stars. The matter of soulmates became the burning flame for the Rtawahist Darshan and the fizzling out of the construct of a balanced life Kaveh came to know.
People thought finding their soulmate was so utterly romantic that they flocked to the reader of fate to ask what the stars handed them. So, when Kaveh walked on the streets grocery shopping, to the House of Daena, or to meet with his next client, he couldn't help but overhear the constant conversation about people’s soulmates. It was everything from how they waited to hear back about results, how the person they were with already turned out to be truly theirs, or that they planned to pack their bags right away and trudge off to a different nation to meet their fate’s chosen person.
Kaveh felt happy for them. He really did. He thought it was the quintessential human experience to understand someone on the deepest level of the soul, but he also thought his own soul deserved to wait until the end of this lifetime, when all this was said and done, to have such lofty dreams.
This detachment from the idea of soulmates was not because he couldn’t just waltz up to the newfound Rtawahist celebrity and ask for his results, because he very much had the poise to do so, but it stemmed from his relationship with the idea of having a soulmate in the first place. From what world would he have to hail from to be granted permission for such luxuries? It certainly wasn’t this one. In a world where he was in debt, living in a precarious situation, and having to hide said precarious situation for sake of reputation, Kaveh found himself with barely enough room to have some fateful encounter with this supposed soulmate of his.
If his soulmate turned out to be one of these curious dreamers with their head in the clouds and noses pointed up at the stars, and they happened to approach him with open arms, it would be a tough pill to swallow. He didn’t doubt this person would do wonders to his psyche, as soulmates were said to do, but this happy fairytale ending where the knight came to sweep him off his feet and carried him off into the sunset sounded all too unnerving. It wasn’t because the idea of soulmates nagged at his logical train of thought for being too unrealistic, but because there was one truth that Kaveh reminded himself over and over again these days.
A soulmate was too perfect for him to deserve.
It was a tiring thought, but one he would take to the grave. Alone.
On today’s outing of soulmate-less woe, Kaveh had a few errands to run. Nothing more than restocking the coffee bean supply and purchasing a few other items on the grocery list. It was mere happenstance that his trip coincided with a step towards solving his self-dread…or perhaps fate itself orchestrated this encounter as it did with all matters of the soulmate.
When he rounded the corner, he saw Layla surrounded by regulars at Treasure Street. These people were more interested in her than the goods laid out in front of them. The group was mostly young adults, but they were joined by a single parent and a couple of young Akademiya students. They were harmless, but Layla looked overwhelmed as she hastily wrote on her notepad before trying to wave some of them off. Trying was the best way to describe it. Their persistence was beyond what any unassuming, sleep deprived Akademiya student could handle. Kaveh knew that feeling all too well.
By the time he made it to Layla, he joined the tail end of the conversation between her and the other students. He called her name to catch her attention and hopefully veer off any onlookers who sought to join the cavalry.
“It’s been a while since we last spoke,” Kaveh greeted. “How are you doing, Layla?”
The notepad in her hand slipped as she lost her grip from shear exhaustion. She scrambled to put it away in her bag, missing the opening a few times before dropping it in with the other jumbled papers and stationery.
“Overall, I’m doing okay…but I am awfully tired,” she sighed. Then she caught her languid tongue. “But don’t worry. It’s always like this with me, so there’s no reason to give sympathy.”
Exhaustion was simply a way of life for the Akademiya student—Kaveh knew that full well, but exhaustion in moderation was the most important trick of the trade. Layla pushed herself passed moderation, and with these sudden and unreasonable crowds around her today, he knew she needed a break.
“Maybe not, but you don’t have to overexert yourself,” he said.
Layla nodded. A second later she lazily raised her hand to cover her yawn. “I guess I have been stretching myself too thin as of late…”
“I have a moment. Why don’t we sit?” Kaveh offered. He gestured to the open seating outside Puspa Café. It was well out of the way of casual eyes.
“Ah, are you sure? I don’t want to take up your time with something so small,” Layla said.
“Please, I insist.” He gave her a warm, sunlit smile.
Layla’s nerves lightened up a little while it was just her and Kaveh, but she still fidgeted with her hands under the table. Her eyebags shown through the sunlight like a creeping shadow in wait to overcome her. Kaveh hoped this quiet atmosphere would quell her restlessness just enough to give her a break.
“Why don’t you talk through your troubles with me. Sometimes getting it all out can help blow off some steam,” he said, but he saw her spaced out and staring at the table. “Or I could order us something and you just relax.”
“No, that's alright.” She clasped her hands together to catch her fidgeting. “I feel like I have to fulfill so many expectations from people that I don't get the chance to talk about it with someone.”
Kaveh sat back in his chair. “Alright, I’m all ears.”
“I’m taking a level four class about the reading and interpretation of the stars,” she started with a yawn. “The final project to complete the class is to write a full proposal detailing every step and resource needed to research new information related to the determination of the stars. It’s really just practice for our final thesis for graduation, but if the proposal is good enough, a student could be approved right away to use it as their final thesis. My professor said only a few students have ever been approved so early, but it turns out, he thought mine was so well detailed that I should continue with it.”
“That's great Layla! You really should be proud of that,” Kaveh cheered. “It’s true that not many students get to start so early on their final thesis. The majority usually spend several months or even a year just drafting their proposal.”
“I suppose I am proud…I just wish I remember writing all of it,” she said under her breath. “Anyway, in my proposal, there is a small excerpt about the possibility of finding soulmates by reading the stars.”
Soulmates! Was it Layla who started this debacle?
“After word spread of my topic, people only focused on that part, and I was overwhelmed with requests to read for people's soulmates. I didn't know what to do with so many at once. My professor suggested I use this as an opportunity to test a large sample size and encouraged me to add this as a major section in my paper. I never intended for my paper to be about soulmates, but he was right. Where else am I going to get so many interested parties for the topic of reading the probability of meeting people using the stars? I did have to edit my proposal slightly, but my professor helped me a lot that time around.
“Afterwards, I created a signup sheet for anyone interested in a soulmate reading, but it turned into more of a waitlist. My professor gave me as much time as I needed with this project, which is good, but at this rate, I’ll never be able to write the paper with people still signing up. I’ll soon have tested the entirety of Sumeru before I graduate,” she slumped in her chair and hung her head low like a dehydrated shrub.
Despite Kaveh’s personal gripes about soulmates with his own determined soulmate-less life, he wasn’t one to disregard the success of his friends. Layla was an exceptional student, Kaveh never doubted that, but to learn she was the one who sparked this fad of soulmates in Sumeru was most impressive. It was significant enough that she caught the attention of her peers, but to have adults interested in her work colored Kaveh impressed.
Yet, as Sumeru clawed in desperation for this newfound niche, Layla suffered from the result. Kaveh believed in starving for his art, and he wanted to make sure this was an art she found worth starving for.
“Are you sure you want to continue with this topic? If you're about to commit yourself to a sea of aspiring romantics, you should at least make sure you enjoy what you do.”
“Oh, it’s nothing like that!” She held up her hands in defense. “The process to find a person’s soulmate is fun actually. I enjoy what I study. I am just overwhelmed.”
“Then there’s no rush to graduate, is there?” he said. “You're already ahead of the curve so there’s plenty of time to sift through all of Sumeru if that’s what it takes. It’s likely that this is the only time you’ll experience something like this in your life. Learn to appreciate what you can…” he glanced at her tired eyes, “after some adequate rest.”
She pressed her lips together. “You're right. Sometimes I feel like I have to do this all in one night but this isn't a class assignment with a hard deadline,” she looked at him with hopeful eyes, “and I think I would enjoy it more if I had a restful night’s sleep for once.
“When I conduct the tests, a lot of people are either upset they don’t have a soulmate or that their soulmate isn’t who they are currently with, but there have been a few good cases. It does make me happy to see them happy and that is enough to help me keep going.”
Cases where a person doesn’t have a soulmate? Kaveh never thought about that. He supposed those few good cases about soulmates were more appealing to tell than the disappointing ones. After learning about that, it seemed that the lucky few who did have soulmates were even more deserving than the rest. Knowing his missing soulmate could be explained by not existing in the first place put him at ease a little.
“Honestly, I don't think I could bear to know something like that,” Kaveh said with a laugh. He’d rather leave it as a test of fate to see if he deserved such an idealistic life.
It turned out that he didn’t have to wait long to find out.
“But I already revealed you to your soulmate. Has he not told you yet?” Without her unassuming stare, Kaveh would’ve thought she was joking, but Layla wasn’t one to make such a joke either.
In that moment, Kaveh realized he caught it in an instant. He caught the all-encompassing bug that passed around the feverish need to understand who, what, and where his soulmate was, and not because he needed to know for his own purposes—no, of course not—but because he was nervous that this soulmate already knew of their relationship and hadn’t approached him yet. In spite of his previous gripes, he now desperately needed to know the information his soulmate did.
The agonizing wait of the few seconds it took for Layla to continue made Kaveh feel like he was about to die. It became that serious in an instant.
“After I discovered the method to read soulmates, I needed to access some archives from previous Rtawahist records to write the literature review. After my application was approved, Alhaitham asked to see my progress, so he joined me one night as I showed him the star maps I drew to cross reference with older documents. Eventually, I offered to try the method on him since I don’t have a soulmate and—”
Kaveh stood up abruptly from his chair. It scraped against the stone with a harsh noise that jolted Layla alert. He leaned over the table like a dog hunched over to vomit.
“Alhaitham. He’s my…”
“Yes, he’s you’re soulmate,” she said.
Did his ears fail him, or did she just confirm that his book bum at home was the star-crossed soulmate that he dared not know about this whole time? The person that was supposed to have his heart wrapped around their finger at a moment’s notice and bring him the utmost happiness for the rest of his life was Alhaitham? No. His soulmate was the most annoying man on Teyvat who ate at his sanity to the bitter end. The shear concept of Alhaitham and soulmate did not mix, and he felt sorry for whoever was Alhaitham’s soulmate. Kaveh felt sorry for himself, yet under his head spinning and this life-altering realization, he saw the possibility come to light.
No matter the distance, whether it be physical distance, time, or otherwise, he and Alhaitham were always at each other’s sides.
During the Akademiya, Kaveh found him in the library by mistaken loneliness. It was a miracle that after that encounter Alhaitham tolerated him at all considering he brushed Kaveh off whenever he had the chance. After their fight, they still couldn’t shake each other off. The message boards were covered by the ink of their pen throughout their remaining time separated. Finally, the most grueling of all, he and Alhaitham lived together. Fate was unkind to Kaveh by causing him to lose his home but in exchange to return to his…soulmate.
Now, he understood them being soulmates had some stake in all these matters. Even if they didn’t know it yet, they were chosen to be together by the will of the stars. In some way, Kaveh thought he escaped the major blows fate dealt him, but it had one more up its sleeve that was a catastrophic change to his normalcy.
“Layla, I must cut this short,” Kaveh said, barely looking her in the eye.
“Is everything alright?” Her eyes sagged. “Did I mess up somehow?”
That caught his attention. “No, no, Layla. You’re fine. I—Is it alright if we pick this up another time? You’re welcome to grab me off the street if you have to.” He laughed attempting to hide his distracted thoughts. “I just remembered I need to get the groceries for today, and I want to beat rush hour.”
“Oh, okay. I won’t hold you up anymore,” she said quietly. “Thank you for sitting with me, Kaveh. It felt nice to talk through it all.”
“Anytime,” he breathed, and after waving goodbye and settling himself at the open stalls of fruits, spices, and coffee beans, Kaveh found himself distracted again. He no longer met every passing conversation about soulmates with a disconnected longing for something intangible for his unworthy self. He questioned how Alhaitham possibly fit the mold everyone sculpted for soulmates. Alhaitham wasn’t the man he already had romantic intentions with or the man he’d uproot his life in a different nation for…was he?
They were too different. Nothing like the perfection that a soulmate should’ve been.
Throughout the rest of his outing, he couldn’t stop thinking about Alhaitham. In what world did he entertain interest in Alhaitham? This one apparently. Even if just an hour ago he thought fitting himself in with this whole soulmate ordeal was crazy.
In the coils of home that squeezed the nervous air out of Kaveh, he set forth for his room after discreetly placing the grocery bags on the table. Alhaitham’s keys hung in the entryway meaning he was home. Where at home? Kaveh had no idea, but he had his guesses and places to avoid. The study was the most likely—Alhaitham may be there reading or choosing his next book. He could’ve also been in his own room taking a nap or putting away the clean clothes Kaveh handed him last night or, again, reading—in which case Kaveh made sure to be as unassuming as possible. Quiet would make Alhaitham suspicious, and Kaveh couldn't confront him about the matter of soulmates now.
Some time to catch his breath was all he needed, he told himself. Or it would be better if they never addressed it at all because Kaveh still couldn't believe what he heard today. The fact that Alhaitham, his senseless and unnerving roommate, was the man written in the stars for him. The one who was supposed to sweep him off his feet and be the epitome of perfection for Kaveh was supposed to be Alhaitham, and Alhaitham was none of those things. In fact, Alhaitham was the complete opposite. The culmination of all Kaveh’s gripes was Alhaitham. If they were soulmates, they were a fly to sticky paper, a building to the test of time, or the Divine Tree to fire. They did not go together, and when they did, all treachery broke loose.
It was already proven once, and Alhaitham tested his patience every day, why can’t fate just recognize their incompatibility?
Why had fate ordained their incompatibility...
Just as Kaveh had his hand on his doorknob, almost to the sanctity of his bed, the sound of Alhaitham’s footsteps were the first to stop him in his tracks.
Next, his voice, “Quick to retire to your room, are we? Have something important to work on? Or did you tire yourself out getting the groceries,” he said with that usual underhanded attitude.
“Shopping for you can get very tiring.” Kaveh cursed under his breath for the unsightly domestic comment. “I thought I might take a nap. You’re familiar with those, yes?” He turned to face Alhaitham, but he wasn't prepared for the visible concern in his eyes. Alhaitham was supposed to pry for some way to get under his skin, not show genuine emotion.
He hummed in that decisive way where he knew he drew a conclusion that gave him a one-up in the conversation.
“You visited Layla today.”
Kaveh’s heart stopped.
“How did you know that?” he said, trying not to garner the reaction Alhaitham wanted out of him. The sooner he ended this conversation the better.
“Judging by your antsy attitude, you had her find your soulmate,” he said so easily as if that wasn't the moment he made it apparent that both of them thought about this thread that pulled them together. Not to mention this scarily accurate assumption he made.
“I also saw her on my way back from the Akademiya,” he continued.
Kaveh sighed.
“She apologized to me. I hope you didn't worry her with your unnecessary stress,” he said.
Kaveh caught his breath. “My unnecessary stress?” He sucked in the air through his teeth. “As a matter of a fact, I didn't have her find my soulmate. She revealed my soulmate outright because he already knew of me.”
Kaveh looked Alhaitham up and down—his whole stance and demeanor in view. It was Alhaitham who stood unfazed by hearing this supposed revelation to shake their world. It shook Kaveh’s world at least. Alhaitham somehow always got the better end of the deal. How did that even translate to something like this?
“It must’ve been a long while that you’ve known,” Kaveh continued. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I don’t care to make a big deal out of it like you do. That’s too much work for something so inconsequential.” In one motion, he turned and headed to the common room. “If that’s what this is all about, then I’ll turn my attention to show common courtesy and put away the groceries after they were shopped for.”
“Hey—wait!” Kaveh ran after him and pawed at his arm in failed attempts to stop him. “What’s inconsequential? The fact that we’re soulmates?”
Alhaitham ignored his fervid eyes and tugged at the bags. “The act of knowing we’re soulmates. Whether either of us know or not doesn't change our fates.” He dragged their jar of coffee beans over and filled it with steady hands. “You are aware that modern Rtawahist works support the theory that fate is predetermined? Under the guise of the most powerful in this world, we do not have the ability to write anything differently, so letting things happen as they do is best.”
Kaveh tugged at the bag of coffee beans to catch his attention. “You wanted to know, otherwise you wouldn’t have let Layla tell you who your soulmate is.”
He blinked. “I wanted to see the plausibility of her theory.”
“How would you check the plausibility if you don’t know how to confirm it?”
“Your name in the results was sufficient enough,” he said and yanked Kaveh’s grip away, discarding the empty bag.
“What is that supposed to mean? That you—you what…you always thought we were soulmates?”
“It was just a hypothesis with a significant amount of evidence to back it up.”
Kaveh couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe how frank Alhaitham was. This felt like a conversation he had in his most idealistic of dreams, but Alhaitham was pragmatic. Logical. Did he even see this on an emotional level?
“What evidence is that?”
The rice bags thudded on the table. “You’re still here.”
It was a loaded answer. One he didn’t have to clarify at all because Kaveh already knew the answer to it too. In his answer were the consequences of their fight and Kaveh’s tragedy of a house situation after the Palace of Alcazarzaray. Only his soulmate—only Alhaitham would he accept the invitation to move in from, and perhaps only his soulmate would offer the option in the first place.
“Would you say the decisions that led us here were ever real at all?”
“They are just as real as all your others. What does it matter if some higher power determined them if you live through them all the same?”
Maybe Kaveh could agree on that front.
Alhaitham threw him a grocery bag to unload. The fruits were the easiest. It was for the fruit bowl Kaveh snacked on during the week when he didn’t have the time to get himself a proper meal.
“Even so, do you regret your decisions about bringing me back?”
“No. I don’t regret anything.”
Kaveh bit down on the inside of his cheek.
“So, do you accept that we’re soulmates?”
“Yes. I’m not particularly fond of disregarding the obvious. It’s as if a researcher were to purposefully ignore facts to control the proof of their thesis. I can’t refute the truth, and it’s a truth that betters the overall findings in the end.”
“Is knowing that we’re soulmates important to you?”
“No.”
Kaveh threw a Zaytun Peach at Alhaitham. It bounced off his arm and thudded on the floor.
“What was that for?” Alhaitham said, caught off guard, but Kaveh had his full attention. It was the smallest in the bag and Kaveh didn’t have the best strength in his throw, so Alhaitham hardly had anything to complain about.
“I want you to treat this as something important,” Kaveh asserted.
“I am. Have I not answered all your questions?”
Kaveh shook his head. “I want you to treat me as something important.”
Alhaitham looked at him as if confused where that sentiment came from. “I do.” It was in a softer voice that made Kaveh’s stomach churn.
“It doesn't feel like it.”
“You should know that I don’t attribute your worth to whether or not we’re soulmates.”
“Then, why did you put any effort in your hypothesis if calling me your soulmate wasn’t important?”
“Because you are important to me, and I want to keep being here for you when you need it.”
Kaveh swallowed his breath. How Alhaitham’s affection showed in his cheeks colored his mind in shade of bewilderment.
“Now, let me ask a question.” Alhaitham leaned on the table, meeting Kaveh at eye level. “Do you not like the thought of us being soulmates?”
Kaveh felt that question in his soul.
With a pertinent glance away from his awaiting eyes, Kaveh said, “I can tolerate it.” He shielded his heart with crossed arms. “I just don't know what that looks like—being soulmates.”
“Luckily for you, you’ve already seen it in full action. There's no need for a guidebook of fate because it’s already played out before us. You are worried about change. There is no need change if you already lived this soulmate act your whole life.”
“Is that what you want? For things not to change?”
“Based off what you’ve said to me thus far, it’s what I think you want. Is that not the case?”
There were a lot of gripes Kaveh had about Alhaitham, and he was sure Alhaitham had a lot about him. He couldn’t stand the way he worked so little and gained so much. He had the Mora to do whatever he wanted but chose this cushy life where he read books all day and barely left his house for anything but work. It was easy.
Kaveh wasn’t easy, and his life wasn’t perfect. He had debt, he kept Alhaitham up in the middle of the night working himself to death on commissions, and he was loud and rambunctious unlike Alhaitham.
Somehow, through it all, Alhaitham tolerated him enough to accept they were soulmates and enough to have kept him in this house for so long through every argument and disagreements. They did not have the picture-perfect life together that others had with their soulmates. The life of other soulmates was the life Kaveh didn’t deserve, but maybe that was the key that held him back.
A soulmate didn’t have to be perfect.
Alhaitham wasn’t perfect, and Kaveh deserved his imperfections.
Both of their imperfections served as perfections for each other.
Alhaitham didn’t have to change for Kaveh’s mistaken view of soulmates, but Kaveh wanted things to change in another way—his mindset. Despite his idealism that Alhaitham criticized so many times, now that he had the chance to wish upon the stars, there was one desire Kaveh had when it came to a soulmate.
“I want to love you.” It rolled off the tongue so easily. “I thought if I have a soulmate, I should love them.”
Kaveh couldn’t look him in the eye between the silence.
“What is it that I need to do to achieve it?” Alhaitham finally said. It was far from what Kaveh expected.
Alhaitham stepped into his space, ignoring the rest of the groceries they were supposed to put up. There was still that lame peach on the floor somewhere that neither of them bothered to get.
Kaveh finally met his gaze. It was full of a fondness that Kaveh found comfort in. “Can you learn to love me as well?” he breathed.
“I already have,” he said effortlessly.
Kaveh’s eyes widened. “You're serious?”
“Have I not been serious this whole conversation?”
“Have I been so clueless this whole time?” His heart sped up its pace. “Would I have wanted to love you if I didn’t realize we are soulmates?”
“Whether you did or not, I believe fate would have paved the proper path for you. You would have found your way—which ever way that may be.”
His cheeks felt flushed from embarrassment.
“Are you upset that I’m not there yet?”
Alhaitham grabbed Kaveh’s wrists, steadying his nerves and grounding his shaken stance. “Let time run its course. I have always been willing to wait.”
That made Kaveh feel the lump in his throat and the sting of tears. He didn’t know what to do, so his body acted without his command. He threw himself into Alhaitham’s arms and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Alhaitham quickly accepted the embrace and held him with the warmest arms.
“Please, do. Please wait for me,” Kaveh whispered.
It was the intimate feeling of a soulmate that awaited him on the other side—one that he took to memorize from his hug. Kaveh had a reason to love, he just needed to discover it for his and Alhaitham’s sake.
So, over the next few months, he took to living in Alhaitham’s love to learn his own.
There were days when Kaveh took the blunt edge of his client’s demands, leaving him ill from where they hit him over the head with grueling words from their ignorance of architecture. On those occasions, he found himself on the second floor of Lambad’s under the spell of relapse, drinking away his headache only to make worse in the morning. At least Lambad knew how to appreciate him for his work. Those hopeless snobs looking to cheapen his design just to save the extra Mora for who knows what…If he had the chance to tell them off without his reputation on the line, he would take it in a heartbeat.
Days like these came too often with his new client and his sanity sank as each frustrating new draft soured his artistic mind.
On days like these he forgot how he ended the night, whether or not it was his own decision to pack it up from pity or if he passed out at the table subject to the demands of alcohol and the client’s words in his head.
No matter how he gave out, it was without a doubt that he didn’t make it home by himself. As always, Alhaitham dragged him out of his drunken stupor and helped him down the street to their home at the ripe time of midnight. Being an early sleeper, Alhaitham didn’t seem to agree with that sentiment. It was a wonder how he ever stayed awake long enough to decide to bring Kaveh back.
No, it wasn’t a wonder.
It was clearer now than it had ever been. He made Alhaitham worry for his self-deprecating habits. Waking up with a clean change of sheets, a glass of water by his nightstand, and the clips out of his hair, Kaveh knew Alhaitham cared, and it was always like this, but only until he realized the context that they were soulmates did he learn to appreciate his show of affection.
It was always affection. It was always love, and Kaveh actively searched to find his to match.
What he realized after these past few months was that it wasn’t very hard to find at all.
When he was relieved of his client for finally submitting a draft that was agreeable to both of them, he stuck to water for the time being. The content afternoons in their home as Alhaitham, for reasons Kaveh now had a chance at guessing at, made it his goal to get home earlier every day, left Kaveh spending more time with him.
Kaveh felt awkward with Alhaitham in his space more. Not because he was uncomfortable with their growing closeness, but because he hadn’t noticed it before. He hadn’t noticed that his attentiveness was from a place of care. He always thought Alhaitham did everything out of his own benefit, but sometimes, his own benefit benefited Kaveh as well.
On the nights when they met with Tighnari and Cyno, Alhaitham was selectively talkative as always, but he mostly seemed to bud in when Kaveh did the talking. Whether it was to correct Kaveh or to instigate another topic of conversation, Kaveh was the person he paid most attention to.
Somehow, Kaveh delivered the same result because whenever he had a one on one with either Tighnari or Cyno, they both asked if something was different between him and Alhaitham. Kaveh denied any of their theories because frankly he didn’t want to divulge his own shortcomings with their relationship. Not yet at least.
Regardless, Tighnari and Cyno said they were annoyed by Kaveh’s increased conversations about Alhaitham of which he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t even noticed he talked about Alhaitham so much prior to these months until Tighnari told him off for it. Even Collei pitched in with her share of experiences with Kaveh talking about Alhaitham. It was entirely embarrassing.
It was once he caught Layla again that her words finally struck his stalemate on the conversation about their relationship.
She caught him in his leisure time and pulled him back to the table outside of Puspa Café. Kaveh asked her about her research.
“Things are going well. The requests to read people’s soulmates have slowed down. It’s become more manageable now,” she said with relief. “I’ve started on the paper. I haven’t spent too many late nights on it, but that’s going well too. My professor seems to think so at least.”
“I’m glad things are improving for you,” Kaveh said.
“Can I ask how things are with Alhaitham? I wasn’t sure if I did something wrong with how we ended it last time…”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Please, don’t worry about it, Layla. If anything, it was Alhaitham’s fault,” he huffed. “But…things are going well. He knows how to deal with me at least.”
Layla looked at him with a puzzled expression, not entirely knowing what he meant, but she was happy, nonetheless.
“I’m glad he’s my soulmate. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he uttered, but he caught his mushy words and said, “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”
Layla giggled. “I have been asked to keep a lot of names a secret. This is no problem.”
The two continued talking until their plate of pastries was finished and coffee was fully drunk. They bid each other goodbye and Kaveh left for home that late afternoon.
As Kaveh sat on the divan sketching and Alhaitham sat beside him, Kaveh eased into his lean on Alhaitham. He sat shoulder to shoulder, pressed against his body with the firm grip of his hand on his pen.
Alhaitham welcomed every new touch he gave. Both of them had the chance to explore their comfort in each other. It was that hug that broke some invisible barrier that left them touch starved.
For a while, the silence kept him concentrated as he drew whatever came to mind. It had been a while since he felt like he could draw for just himself; no deadlines, no commissions. He drew sketches of empty buildings and bridges and gardens. Then, the very research building he lived in came into the picture. It looked like any other building he drew—it followed standards set out by the city after all, but it wasn’t empty. It was his home. That was only determined by the person who lived in it with him.
That day in Lambad’s where Kaveh accepted the hole he dug himself after his made homelessness, Alhaitham, his soulmate, fated to help him when he needed it most, brought him home, and it was out of a love that Kaveh buried deep down. If Alhaitham could be there for him through thick and thin, Kaveh wanted to show he would do the same.
He took his pen off the paper and paused, anticipating his next course of action with a fluttering heart. Finally, he said, “Alhaitham, I love you.”
It was quiet for a moment until Alhaitham turned the next page in his book. Kaveh saw the faint stroke of a sincere smile before he turned it into that sly smirk he always sported. “You do? I was starting to get worried you decided to turn me away for your last client. You spent an awful lot of time on that project,” he said with sarcasm.
Kaveh threw his sketchbook and pen to the side and shoved Alhaitham to wipe that smirk off his face. “You’re terrible. I don’t know why I even bother with you.”
A bookmark went firmly in Alhaitham’s book, and he set it on the table. “You just said it. It’s because you love me,” he said with adoration.
Kaveh’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t mean for this to become a fest of nerves, but he couldn’t help but notice Alhaitham’s advances—the crossing of his leg to bump their knees, his arm scooting closer, the slow and inviting lean in…
Kaveh glanced at his lips but turned away. “I expect the same from my soulmate—whoever that is. Perhaps my last client would fit the bill.”
Then, Alhaitham brought his hand around to cup Kaveh’s cheek and to turn his gaze. “I love you, Kaveh.”
It was so much better hearing it from his lips in full when he too felt the full weight of the confession.
Kaveh met his hand on Alhaitham’s with a featherlight brush against his rough features, studying the size of his hand. Alhaitham caressed his cheek with his thumb as they sat in the rather immediate display of affection. Kaveh felt his cheeks burning under his hand, but it cooled him down in return. He hated how much Alhaitham made him feel like a teenager experiencing his first crush. This was warmth that could’ve followed if not for their fight. It felt right, yet it was apparent that Alhaitham still waited for him. In their moments where everything was resolute, he still gave Kaveh the curtesy to make the final move. So, Kaveh brought his other arm up to Alhaitham’s shoulder and slid his hand to the base of his neck, up his hairline, and finally weaved his fingers in his hair. He pushed Alhaitham’s head forward, leaning him down to meet his eye. Their foreheads touched. He felt Alhaitham’s light breath on his nose.
He fluttered his eyes shut and closed the gap between their lips. It was a languid kiss. Their concentration focused more on the feeling of their contact than on the movement. That feeling was the most wonderful feeling in the world to Kaveh. He wanted to chase it until the very end. Since they were soulmates, he might just chase it until then.
Alhaitham left his lips with a final chaste peck but didn't go very far at all. He rested his head on Kaveh’s shoulder and asked for nothing more than to lay there.
Alhaitham made him feel like deserved this. He deserved the happiness of a soulmate at his best and at his worst. A soulmate may not have to be perfect, but Kaveh thought Alhaitham was pretty perfect for him. He was an exact mirror to his own soul—the real perfection in a soulmate. If fate gave him Alhaitham as his soulmate, then maybe it wasn’t so cruel to him after all.
The stars wrote him this happy ending, and he deserved to seize it.