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Park Sunghoon has been acting weird.
Yes, weird. Weirder than usual. If anyone knows how weird that man could be, it's Sunoo. Despite the older's practically perfect face, there was this pathetic (but endearing) awkwardness that persisted within him, no matter how many hours of idol training they went through. Living together for almost half a decade showed those sides of him, from the relentless teasing to random shouting, with moments of vulnerability in between. But that was besides the point. Right now, Park Sunghoon was being odd. Odder than usual.
With experience comes confidence, obviously, even more so when you're an idol, but as of late, Sunghoon was being... jumpy? Or timid, Sunoo couldn't really tell. It's like his nerves were on overdrive- every movement Sunoo made, it seemed like Sunghoon was either spluttering or skirting away from him. It started a few weeks ago, seemingly out of nowhere.
Weird.
1.
Sunoo yawned as he straightened out his limbs from the unnatural position he had contorted them into for his bedtime doomscrolling session. He glanced at the time on his phone. Saturday, 12:47, it flashed back at him. Reasonable time for a late-night snack, he concludes, ignoring the other voices in his head screaming at him to think of the puffy face he'll have to deal with tomorrow morning. He blinks the tears from his eyes, rising from the corner of his bed.
It's fine. We only have an evening schedule tomorrow anyway.
He trudges over to the kitchen, body still sluggish from lying in the same position for too long. The kitchen counters were bare, and it wasn't too far-fetched to assume that the fridge was the same way. They barely stayed in the dorms anyway, always traveling abroad and whatnot. Sliding with his socked feet over to the fridge, he peered inside, cool air blowing over his face. Nothing, save for spam and an old carrot growing... some sort of fungus. Sunoo sighed in defeat, glancing over to the living room in hopes of finding a stray bag of chips or a candy bar.
The rest of the members were nowhere to be found, but Sunoo could surmise where they were. Riki and Heeseung were probably gaming in the upstairs dorm, Jay and Jungwon were probably off doing god knows what, and Jake and Sunghoon were probably in some high-scale bar in Hongdae, hitting up girls. It's Friday night (saturday, technically), and they have a relatively free schedule tomorrow. Sunoo liked having the dorm to himself once in a while. It gave him some peace, quiet away from the bold, loud, cheery persona the group has to constantly put on- it gave him some time to just, think.
Finding no stray snacks, he started making his way back to his room when he heard the familiar beep-beep of the padlock and the creaky slide of the front door opening.
Lo and behold, Park Sunghoon, sneaking into the apartment with a plastic bag, looking like he was committing a crime.
Speak of the devil, I guess. Looks like they didn't hit Hongdae after all.
Sunghoon fails to notice Sunoo standing right there, almost comically tiptoeing towards the fridge as if moving as slowly as possible would make him invisible. Sunoo watches for a second, amused by his hyung’s antics, before sliding over (on his socked feet, again) to stand right behind Sunghoon, crouched down as he tries to discreetly shove the contents of the bag into the freezer.
He then proceeded to jam his fingers into the sides of Sunghoon’s ribs, effectively making the latter’s soul nearly jump out his body.
“Agh!” Sunghoon shouts, looking behind him, then promptly falling on his ass after making eye contact.
“Oh my god, hyung, I got you so good!” Sunoo giggles, clapping as he watches the elder flail around. “Anyway, what’s in the freezer? Wait, is that mint choco ice cream? Hyung, did you become one of us without me knowing?”
“What?” Sunghoon hissed before glancing down at the freezer and (partially) recovering his cognitive abilities. “Oh, that? N-never! I was just throwing that toothpaste shit out!”
Sunoo blinked slowly. “But… I just saw you come in?”
“Oh…erm… joke?” Sunghoon stuttered, pointing finger guns before he physically recoiled, snapping his hands back down.
Sunoo giggled, albeit his tone shifted from amusement to mild concern. Maybe they did hit the bars beforehand.
“Hyung, are you drunk? You do look kind of red,” He questioned, moving closer to press his hand against Sunghoon’s forehead.
Sunghoon’s eyes were darting around the kitchen, but he snapped back to meet Sunoo’s gaze as he scrambled backwards away from Sunoo’s hand. “Huh? No, no.. you’re just hot,”
“What?” Sunoo gasped, giggles halting.
“Oh my god, no, I meant I'm hot, not that you’re not, no, but like it’s hot in here,” Sunghoon stammered, face flushing redder, stark against his pale skin. Freezing up, he abandoned his failed sentence, striding toward the living room. “Argh! It is so hot! Is the heater on? I’m going to go take a cold shower,” Clearly trying to sell the act, he made his way toward Jungwon’s room, shrugging off his leather jacket.
“Um… hyung?”
“Yeah?” He paused, jacket half off.
“This isn’t your dorm. Your room is upstairs.”
“Oh… right.. Haha..” Sunghoon replied, putting his jacket back on and making some sort of cuckoo hand motion and coughing out a quick “‘Night” before hurrying out of the front door.
Sunoo stood dumbfounded in the kitchen, watching his retreating figure stumble and scurry out of the apartment. At least he had a snack now.
He really needs to have a chat with Jake concerning their drinking habits when they were out. He had never seen Sunghoon like that.
2.
Sunoo sighed, overwhelmed by the bustling atmosphere of celebration in the dorm. They had just won an award, so the drinks and food were well-deserved, but Sunoo’s mind was elsewhere. With the group’s success only growing, he had begun to wonder about himself as a person, his role in this whole ordeal.
His eyes wandered over his bandmates sitting around the table.
Jay, enthusiastically retelling a story, one that Sunoo is sure has been told countless times. Nonetheless, the others humored him, laughing along. Jungwon, ever so supportive, with his entire attention fixated on Jay. Sunoo looked over to Jake, who looked like he was moments away from falling asleep face-first into his chicken. Figures, Jake was the one who always went to bed first when they drank. Heeseung was sitting next to him and seemed to be doing the same thing Sunoo was, glancing at Jay and Jungwon with a small smile on his face.
We used to people-watch together. Sunoo reminisced. He wondered when they stopped understanding each other.
Riki, next to Heeseung, as always, was trying to sneak some of the older’s beer. Sunoo let out a small laugh. He remembered doing the same thing. Finally, he glanced over at Sunghoon. Sunghoon, with his irritatingly perfect face. Sunghoon, whom he could never understand fully, no matter how hard he tried. Even in these wee hours of the night, he still looked photoshoot-ready. He had let his hair down and changed into a warm hoodie and those ridiculously long sweatshorts. He still looked unreal, though.
Sunoo’s gaze lingered longer than it should have. He was aware of his lingering crush on the other man. It had stayed with him from I-land, like a pesky parasite weighing him down. He tried to shove it down, but that only ruined his relationships rather than saving them. He knew he had no chance. He knew Sunghoon was straight. As he admired the other, who was zoning out, as always, he allowed himself to look just a little longer.
Sunghoon decided that that was the moment he would come back to this world. He blinked rapidly, regaining consciousness, before directly meeting eyes with Sunoo.
Sunoo’s breath caught.
Sunghoon coughed, eyes darting away, breaking their shared gaze.
That. That right there.
Ever since that weird night in the kitchen, Sunghoon had been acting off. It was like he was avoiding him, almost. Was he embarrassed about how he acted when he was drunk? Sunghoon should know that all 7 of them have seen both the best and worst sides of each other, and that some stupid, drunk antics were nothing to be embarrassed about. Sunoo couldn’t even say thank you for all the ice cream, because Sunghoon would run away any time they talked for more than a few seconds.
Sunoo sighed, redirecting his focus to Jay’s story, which looked like it was wrapping up soon. Jungwon must’ve heard him, because he glances at Sunoo with an unreadable expression as he clapped his hands, proposing they do something else. Sunoo chose to ignore it.
“Okay, Jay-hyung, I think we all know the ending to this one. How about we play a game of truth or drink? It’s been a while since we’ve done that.”
Jay grumbles for maybe a split second before folding and agreeing as per usual. The rest of the members follow suit, likely looking for a change of pace.
It seemed like Sunghoon heard his sigh, too. Sunoo can feel the heat of his stare on the back of his neck. He refuses to look in his direction.
I can avoid you, too. It’s not a crime to be petty.
The game kicks off with mild questions in the first round, and Sunoo’s only question was about his first kiss. Nothing serious. Just some random girl in high school.
A few rounds later, everyone was a few shots deep, and the questions had grown more scandalous in nature. Riki, clearly bored as he couldn’t participate in drinking, had taken it upon himself to make the questions as invasive as possible.
On Sunoo’s turn, the younger boy smirked, clearly about to ask a prying question.
“So, Sunoo-hyung, what’s your body count?”
Everyone let out teasing oohs and ahhs at the question. Just out of Sunoo's range of vision, Sunghoon's ears burned a fiery red as he took a sip of his beer.
"Yah, isn't that a little too much?" Jay warned, giving Riki a look. Riki shrugged, cheeky.
"No, no, it's okay. It's not a big deal anyway," Sunoo slurred, too tipsy for embarrassment. He decided to answer honestly.
"Um... like 15?" He said, recounting for a moment.
On the other end of the table, Sunghoon choked on his drink, flushing bright red as he spluttered and spat it across the table. The rest erupted into laughter, shifting the attention from Sunoo to Sunghoon. Even Jake awoke from his slumber, trying and failing to hold back his laughter.
"What the fuck, hyung, the question wasn't even for you," Riki cackled, watching Sunghoon struggle to recover as Jake patted his back and offered him water.
"No, Its just that I was," Sunghoon hacked, breaking into a coughing fit in between, "caught off guard,"
Sunoo frowned. Was he trying to start something? Riki, likely missing his mood souring, pressed further. "So, is it all girls? Guys? Can we get some details?"
Heeseung, trying to change the subject, suggested, "Hey, why are we asking more questions? Isn't it someone else's turn?"
Sunoo was too deep to care. "It's no problem, hyung. I think... like... 5 girls and 10 guys?"
Again, Sunghoon choked and spat across the table. Water, this time.
"Seriously, Sunghoon? What's your deal?" Jay teased, making no effort to help.
Sunoo wasn't enjoying this as much as the others were. He watched, apprehensive, as Sunghoon coughed out an "nothing, just kind of surprised."
Surprised? What the fuck does that mean?
Judging by how the others quieted down almost instantly, Sunoo must've said that out loud.
Sunghoon flushed redder. "N-no, that's not what I meant, I mean... fuck, I think I'm drunk. I need to get some fresh air." He mumbled, clambering up from his seat on the ground.
"Um.. is anyone going to accompany him? Jungwon asked timidly, only to get 5 of silent faces staring right back at him. They watched as he scrambled out the door, sweatshorts and hoodie way too little for how cold it was outside.
Running away, again. I'm getting Deja vu.
Sunoo sat up too, declaring that he was tired and should head to bed. He knew that wasn't the case, and that he would spend the rest of the night overthinking stupid Sunghoon's stupid spluttering.
"Sunoo..." Heeseung started, but bit his tongue when he caught Sunoo's eye.
Whatever. This is a problem for another day.
Around an hour later, as Sunoo was doing his skincare routine, he heard that familiar beep-beep of the padlock and creak of the front door's hinges.
Muffled, he heard Jungwon shuffle out of his room to check who it was. They had wrapped up shortly after Sunoo left, making similar excuses to escape the awkward mood the two had created. So, they had all returned to their respective rooms, save for Sunghoon, who they had left to wander on his own. Maybe a bad idea, considering how the man had been acting when he was drunk as of late. Sunoo paused, listening to see who was visiting them so late. It was probably Jay.
Wrong. He heard a somewhat shocked and maybe a little angry, "Sunghoon hyung? Why are you here? Why were you out so late? What are you holding?"
Sunoo smiled at the younger's rapid-fire leader questions. He moved out of the bathroom, curious now.
"Is that...hyung, nobody asked for this. Wait, why did you only buy 15 mint choco ice creams? 5 cups and 10 cones? Why's there so much diversity if it's only mint choco? Nobody's going to eat this except for Sunoo!" Jungwon muddled, confused. There was some indiscernible sound from Sunghoon in response. Some sort of zombie-adjacent mumbling and groaning.
"...Fine, hyung. Let's get you to bed. You're only 23, why are you acting like an old man?" He heard Jungwon sigh, ushering the other out the door, slowly shutting it so as not to wake anyone up.
When the coast was clear, Sunoo crept out of his room. There it was, on their pathetically empty counters. That plastic bag. As he added the contents of the bag (15 mint choco ice creams, just as Jungwon said) to the other ice creams in the freezer, he smiled to himself.
He knew this was Sunghoon's weird way of saying sorry.
(but seriously, they might need to have a meeting about his drunk habits)
3.
Around a week or two later, the rush of promotions and performances had died down a little bit, and the group was finally given some time to rest. Sunoo knew that it would be short-lived, as the pace of idol life never slowed down enough for them to properly take a break. Nonetheless, he was still grateful.
Jungwon was planning a movie night tonight, giving some excuse that they needed some ‘group bonding’ right now. (As if seeing each other every moment of every day wasn’t enough. Sunoo knew that ‘group bonding’ was actually code for ‘damage control for this awkward mess between Sunoo and Sunghoon that the rest of the members are getting dragged into.’ It was one of the many things Sunoo was choosing to gloss over at the moment.)
Although Sunoo was still mildly irritated by the elder, he found it difficult to stay angry at him for too long. Maybe it was his gorgeous face, or maybe it was the tiny, cute efforts that he made for Sunoo. More of his face. And body.
Who am I kidding. I’m in love with him. It’s everything about him.
He felt his phone ping in his pocket and fished it out to see who it was.
NO LEAVING ❌❌
wonie: guys meet in the dowsntair apt
by like 8:30 for movie night
be there or be square
thing 6ft 7: cornball ahh
will there be alc
Jong jong: it's not corny and dont even think abt it
thing 6ft 7: ion even curr frl
heeseung: i’ll bring some
hoon: Remind me who's apartment will we all be meeting at?
thing 6ft7: ever heard of scrolling up
You:
mine
hoon: uhh
im goig to be late
jakey: ???
youre not even doing anything today?
hoon: um im
img onna have todo my landry bye
heeseung: lmao nice job being discreet
You:
hello? he totally switched up the way he was talking
someone should check on him
thing 6ft 7: brother
Private chat: wonie
You:
wonie i think u should tell heeseung hyung not to bring alchohol
sunghoon hyung starts acting really weird when he's drunk
like he turns super red and starts stuttering and saying weird things around me
i'm concerned i've been wanting to discuss cutting back on drinking with him for a while now
but he keeps avoiding me and running away
i think he knows im onto him
wonie:
oh brother
You:
???
hello??
ru gonna actually respond??
wonie is offline
Sunoo changed his mind. He's actually not in love with Sunghoon. He hates him, he hates him and his stupid, gorgeous, beautiful face and body. Also, what is going on with the rest of the group, too? Do they know something he doesn't? Why are they all acting like that?
Sunoo sighs, for the nth time. He's too tired to think about this bullshit any longer. He throws his phone across the room, wincing as it misses his chair and tumbles ungracefully to the ground, and wraps himself in his comforter, letting sleep ease the ever-turning gears in his mind.
A few hours later, he's awakened by the loud laughter, presumably coming from the living room. He sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, when he hears a soft knock at his door.
"It's unlocked," he calls, quickly checking that he's dressed appropriately for another person to see. The door swings open, revealing Sunghoon standing there, looking out of place.
Suddenly, Sunoo wishes he were wearing more than ratty old shorts from middle school and a stretched-out t-shirt that says '2-seater' on it.
"Uh... they sent me to wake you up, but you're already awake... um. Yeah." He explains, glancing at Sunoo before his ears slightly flush, and he redirects his gaze, looking anywhere but at him.
Sunoo giggles as he flattens his hair. Sunghoon watches him as he gets up to grab his phone from the ground.
"Hyung, you can head back. I'll be out in just a sec."
"...Hmm? Oh yeah. Erm... I'll go now," he mutters, plodding back to the living room.
Sunoo watches him until he's left, before scrambling to open his chat with Jungwon.
Private chat: wonie
You:
omg who gave hyung something to drink
he's being all weird again
like avoidant and turning all red
he must have some serioud case of asian flush
wonie:
sigh
what ru wearing
You:
um like sleep shorts and that dumbass tshirt riki got me
why
wonie:
that'll do it
You:
???
hello?
what does that mean
can you guys stop with this ominous shit
wonie is offline
Sunoo let out a sharp exhale, frustrated. Pocketing his phone (after checking for any damage from its earlier fall), he eventually makes his way over to the living room, where everyone has already settled down. Conveniently, the only open spot is the corner of the couch, right next to Sunghoon. Great.
"What took you so long?" Riki complains from his spot on the ground.
"Nice shirt," Heeseung smirked.
Sunoo ignores him, rolling his eyes. The movie looks like an action-romance type, not really Sunoo's style. Not that he was going to pay much attention anyway, given his precarious position next to the root cause of his problems at the moment. Settling back into the couch cushions, he closes his eyes, praying to whatever deity is willing to listen for a smooth, uneventful night. Next to him, Sunghoon looks constipated. Sunoo prays for him, too.
The movie was better than expected. Sunoo was actually getting invested, creeping forward on the couch until a pang in his shoulder reminded him to fix his posture. Turns out that deity he prayed to earlier has a sick sense of humor, because when he leaned back, he fell right into the toned, outstretched arm of Park Sunghoon. Sunoo was shocked, yes, but Sunghoon almost flew off the couch, nearly waking a slumbering Jake next to him and narrowly avoiding drawing the attention of the others (but he made sure that the arm Sunoo was on was still). Sunoo shushed him, making a 'calm down' motion, checking to see if anyone had noticed the little debacle.
No one. Phew.
He looked back at Sunghoon, who (still) looked constipated. Sunoo debated in his mind for a second before ultimately deciding that any conversation would be better than this painfully awkward silence.
Someone has to do something.
"So, what do you think of the movie?" he started, shifting just a tad bit closer to the elder as not to disturb anyone else. The tips of Sunghoon's ears were pink.
Taking a moment to process, Sunghoon fixed his eyes on the screen and replied, "I-it's alright. Not really my style,"
"Right?" Sunoo giggled, leaning into Sunghoon's chest. "It's not mine either. I bet Heeseung hyung chose it."
Sunghoon cracked a small smile at that.
"I mean, at least the female lead is really pretty, right?" Sunoo elaborated, trying to keep the conversation going. It was the longest they had spoken in what felt like months.
Sunghoon looked down at him, meeting his gaze. "Yeah. Pretty," he said, keeping eye contact.
It was Sunoo's turn to blush.
Are we still talking about her? What does he mean? Why does he always confuse me like this?
"I-"
Just then, Riki paused the movie, shooting up. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry. Sunoo hyung, do you have anything in the kitch- ehh!? Guys, look at those two!" He screamed, pointing accusingly at the pair. 5 pairs of eyes turned to look at them.
Sunoo felt his face grow (even) warmer. He could practically feel the heat radiating off of Sunghoon, too. The latter shot up, mumbling something about the bathroom before booking it out of the living room. Heeseung coughed, clearly feeling awkward. Jungwon gave Sunoo a sympathetic look, then kicked the back of Riki's leg.
"Oww! What the hell was that for??" He screamed, shuffling off to the kitchen.
Sunoo squeezes his eyes shut, sinking into the cushions of the couch, missing Sunghoon's warmth. The deities must be having fun right now.
Returning from his stroll around the hallway, Sunghoon entered the living room, giving some half-assed announcement about feeling tired and wanting to sleep early before hurrying out the front door, once again. Sunoo thinks he imagines the collective groan that comes from the group, but when Jake volunteers to talk some sense into him, saying "he was asleep for half the movie anyway," Sunoo realizes his exasperation may be a shared sentiment.
Riki's head pops up above the kitchen counter.
"Yah! Kim Sunoo! Why do you only have like, a billion mint chocolate ice creams! Do you even think about the well-being of your bandmates?"
Damn you, Nishimura Riki.
4.
It feels like all the progress they made the last time had flown out the window. They were back to square one, unless there was a way to be in the negatives. Forget only speaking for a few seconds; Sunoo hasn't exchanged a single word with Sunghoon off-camera in a week. The tension between the group was at an all-time high, and the awkwardness between the two was bleeding into the group's dynamics. Well, at least Sunoo could say he tried. He's officially given up on trying to fix whatever the hell is wrong with that hyung. He's just going to have to step back and wait it out, no matter how much it pained him to do so.
He's given up, but Jungwon hasn't. Sunoo feels bad for him. The poor kid is still trying to hold another 'group bonding' session after the train wreck the last one was, as he probably feels some sort of responsibility as a leader. Sunoo doesn't know how to feel. This time, it's some team-building baking activity, which he cannot believe got greenlighted by their manager. It's a guaranteed failure, either ending in the kitchen burning down or someone losing a limb, 50/50 chance. It was probably Jay's idea. He loves domestic stuff like that. Nevertheless, here they were in Sunoo's apartment, gathered in the kitchen, standing around like a bunch of meerkats. It was cramped, but they made it work. Sort of.
Rather than thinking about the imminent danger they were about to face, Sunoo let his mind wander. However, his stubborn mind kept returning to the hyung that was standing not even 3 feet away from him, the hyung that acted like talking to him would make him burst into flames (it would, in a sense). All that confidence on camera, where did it go? Sunoo tried to focus on the bright side. Even if they weren't speaking right now, Sunghoon has shown how much the younger means to him in a multitude of ways. Giving him little trinkets that reminded him of Sunoo, buying an entire store's worth of mint choco, always lifting his mood when he was down- these were the things Sunoo was missing right now.
Staring, he let himself trace over Sunghoon's neck. Up, over his prominent Adam's apple, then up to his plush, pink lips. Following the sharp angles of his jaw, his nose, counting the moles scattered across the pale expanse of his skin. His face was truly a work of art. Slowly, Sunoo dragged his gaze up until he reached his deep, brown eyes.
Eyes that were already looking at him.
Shit, Sunoo internally cursed, tearing his eyes away. He couldn't bear to look at the other right now. He could feel his ardent gaze staring at him. Frantically, he looked for Jungwon, desperate to be done with this whole thing.
"Jungwonie, when are we going to get started?" He questioned, plastering on a cheery tone to mask his misery.
Engrossed in a conversation with Jay, Jungwon startled, looking around for the source of the voice before landing on Sunoo in the corner.
"Ah, sorry guys, it totally slipped my mind. The recipe's on my phone, but I think I left it in the bathroom of your room, hyung."
Next to him, Jay frowned. "Won-ah, isn't in your pocke-"
He was silenced by Jungwon rapidly slapping his arm. With a desperate smile that was kind of terrifying, he asked, "Sunghoon hyung, you're the closest to the hallway, could you grab it from Sunoo's room for me?"
Sunghoon, lifting his head from where he was intensely analyzing the grout, grumbled a quick noise of affirmation before shuffling off in that general direction.
Sunoo's mind raced, hoping he didn't leave anything embarrassing out. When Jungwon gave him a pointed look, he realized it was the perfect time to corner and confront Sunghoon.
"I think I'll go and help look," he explains to no one in particular as he side-steps out of the kitchen. Speedwalking to his room, he rehearses a makeshift script in his head.
Hey, Sunghoon hyung, so I've been super obvious about my crush on you for ages, so why choose now to be super awkward around me? Did I do something wrong? Why do you give me these mixed signals? Can you stop confusing me?
Yeah, scratch that. It'll take all of the willpower in Sunoo to stop himself from either cussing the older man out or confessing his love to him then and there.
Well, it's not like it wasn't obvious anyway.
Reaching his door, Sunoo stood there for a second, shaking his hands to ease his nerves. Guess he'll have to do some improv.
He entered his room, quickly making sure to close the door behind him, then immediately launched into his monologue.
"Sunghoon hyung, we really need to talk. I've noticed that you've been avoiding me as of late and I really have no idea why. Did I do something wrong? Is this about that one time in the kitchen? If it is, that really wasn't all that embarrassing, I mean, I've done much worse than that when I was dru- hyung?"
Sunoo rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. "Hyung, are you... looking through my underwear drawer?" he questioned slowly, distraught. So much for a confrontation.
Sunghoon was indeed standing in front of Sunoo's open underwear drawer, face flushed an incriminating scarlet. He scrambled back, hands poised in the air as if Sunoo had a gun pointed at him and he had to plead for his life.
"I-i.. um...I promise this isn't what it looks like,"
"Then what is it, hyung? Didn't Jungwon say his phone was in the bathroom?" Sunoo pressed, beyond distraught, now.
"Um... Jay just texted me he shit himself and needs new underwear?" He proposed, shoulders raising into a shrug, a clearly guilty expression on his face.
"What the fuck? What does that have to do with my underwear? Also, we were literally all together like 3 minutes ago? Nice try."
Sunghoon slumped, accepting his defeat, mind clearly racing. It was like Sunoo could see the gears turning in his head before they came to a premature stop.
"I-I... I have to go." Sunghoon stuttered, trying to make his way past Sunoo.
"No way I'm letting you leave like that! If you do, I'll be left to assume you're a creep who was looking to steal my underwear to sell on the internet!" Sunoo exclaimed, blocking the door.
"Fine! Fine, I'll tell you," Sunghoon blurted, squeezing his eyes shut like what he was about to say was going to physically hurt. "I went to the bathroom first, okay! But the phone was literally nowhere to be found, and I searched like, everywhere! So I thought I'd look around the room in case he misplaced it somewhere else and I was just opening drawers and you just so happened to walk in when I opened that one,"
Oh. That was anticlimactic. "See, hyung? That wasn't so bad! Why were you acting like it was such a big deal-"
But Sunghoon wasn't done, apparently.
"... and when you walked in it was like all of the thoughts just dropped out of my ass and I tried to run away because it's just so fucking embarrassing, and I always seem to say the wrong things around you, and I thought running away would save me more face than explaining because if I speak to you for too long I'm afraid I'll end up confessing that I'm in love with you!"
Sunoo gasped.
"What?"
Sunghoon's eyes were wide open now. His blush, previously tinting only his ears and cheeks, had flushed the entirety of his face and was creeping down his neck.
"I -I.. uh-um. Bye." He stammered, shoving past Sunoo and sprinting out of the room.
Once again, Sunoo found himself standing there, dumbfounded.
+1
Sunoo mind had melted. He's sure it was leaking out his ears, dripping on to the floor. He had to be dreaming. There's no way the the Park Sunghoon, the quote unquote straightest idol, the same one that Sunoo has had a crush on, no, been in love with, for the better part of this last decade, with his absolutely divinely-crafted face, was in love with him.
Him! Kim Sunoo!
His phone pinged, and Sunoo opened it, mainly out of muscle memory. It was probably one of the members, asking what was taking them so long.
Private chat: lee heeseung
heeseung: go after him
He just ran out the front door
Sunoo watched as the typing bubble appeared and disappeared, as if Heeseung was debating on sending another message.
Private chat: lee heeseung
heeseung: I don't want you to have any more regrets
That did it for Sunoo. The final nail in the coffin telling him to get his shit together. He bolted out of the room, heading to the front door.
His relationship with Heeseung was an old wound, one that healed over time, but left a nasty scar, a constant reminder. They were both young. Unsuspecting. Unaware of the complexities of the life that awaited them. They tried to make it work, really, but it was all too much for them. Sunoo knew it was his own fault that their relationship fell apart. He never really put his all into it, not like Heeseung did. Heeseung always cared for Sunoo more than he did for himself. He knew not to make the same mistake again.
Making it to the kitchen, he glanced over frantically, asking for help. Heeseung shouted out, "He's probably headed up to the roof," to which Sunoo mumbled a quick thanks before rushing out to the elevator.
In the painfully slow elevator, he was forced to think. What would he even say? He'd been dreaming of the moment for so long, but now that it was here, Sunoo was dumbfounded. Sunghoon had a tendency to make him like that. The doors finally slid open, and Sunoo ran out the doors, straight onto the rooftop of the complex.
" Sunghoon hyung!" He called timidly. " Hyung!" He tried again, louder.
"I'm not going to jump, if that's why you came up here," came a voice from a chair a few meters away.
"What the hell, Hoonie hyung," Sunoo panted, clutching his chest, "why do you always, run away like that?"
"Sunoo, before you say anything, let me just get everything out. I've had enough time to think, so if you're going to reject me, please do it after my speech. Please," Sunghoon says, standing up to face Sunoo.
Sunghoon paused, giving Sunoo a moment to say anything, but carried on before the younger could recover his breath and get any words out.
"I know I've been awkward and avoiding you, but I had a reason. Promise. Basically, that night I bought all that ice cream, the first time, I was out with Jake and Heeseung hyung, and apparently I got fucking wasted and just wouldn't stop talking about you. So, they sobered me up enough to tell me what the hell I was rambling about, and sent me home to think about it because apparently I'm just so fucking dense I had to be told that I was in love with someone."
He paused again, taking a shaky breath.
"But after that, after my stupid brain was forced to acknowledge how I felt, I just didn't know how to act. I just thought about you all the time. Not that that was really that big of a change, but when I woke up the next morning and remembered everything, I just... couldn't deal with it. Not in the right way. It was so overwhelming. Being in love with a bandmate, a man, my best friend's ex, just... couldn't. And you. You're just so...perfect, I couldn't ever imagine a possibility that you would return my feelings. I tried to run away, not just from you, but from everything. My problems, my friends, myself. I tried to force it all down, to forget about it. When I learned that you liked girls too, I ran away, again, because it felt like the odds just kept building against me. And today... today I realized just how stupid I must look in your eyes. But now that I gave you the lamest, most embarrassing confession ever, I guess I have to go through with it."
He sniffled, blinking away tears from his eyes.
"Kim Sunoo, I am in love with you. I've been in love with you for quite some time now, and honestly, I think I always will be." Sunghoon concluded, tears finally breaking loose.
"Hyung, are you...crying?" Sunoo whispered through his own tears, shocked. Sunghoon never cried.
" So what the fuck if I am! I'm about to get rejected by the love of my life! I think I deserve to cry a little! Why are you crying!" He exclaimed, pawing at his eyes with his sleeves.
"Because I'm in love with you! And that was so freaking sad and sweet, who wouldn't cry at that!" Sunoo cried, hands coming up to wipe away Sunghoon's tears too.
"Wait, what?" Sunghoon heaved, eyes coming up to meet Sunoo's teary gaze.
"Yes, hyung, is it really so hard to believe? I've been in love with you for years now, and if anyone is undeserving, it's me. I can't fathom that this is real, frankly. I'm scared I'm going to wake up and we'll go back to being awkward again,"
Sunoo lets out a watery laugh.
Sunghoon grabs Sunoo's face. "If it is, then you need to slap the shit out of me as soon as you wake up and tell me to confess sooner."
"Slow down hyung," Sunoo giggles, hands coming up to rest on Sunghoon's arms." I'm not done with my speech yet,"
Sunghoon purses his lips together, looking sheepish.
"As I was saying, you are perfect, Sunghoon hyung. You'll always be perfect in my eyes. Everything that you just said, I've felt exactly like that too. Please, if I sat here and told you all of the times I've agonized over your godly face or how cute you act, we'd be sitting here for days. Hyung, you deserve all the love in the world, and if you want me to be the person to give you that, then please, let me."
Sunghoon sniffled, tears escaping again.
"Wow, and I thought I was the crybaby of the team," Sunoo giggled, wiping away his hyung's tears and pulling him into a hug.
"Please, the love of my life just told me he loves me back. I think I deserve to cry a little." Sunghoon whined, burying his face into the crook of Sunoo's neck.
"Of course, hyung. You deserve everything." Sunoo smiled, rubbing comforting circles into his back.
Lingering in the younger's arms, Sunghoon whispered, "Sunoo?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I kiss you?"
Sunoo smiles, wide and radiant.
"Thought you'd never ask."
extra
NO LEAVING ❌❌
thing 6ft 7: we all could hear you earlier btw
what the fuck possessed you to check his underwear drawer???
jakey: PLEASE I CANT
heeseung: getting together story for the books lmao
wonie: FINALLY WE'RE FREE
Jong Jong: HAHAHAH
Jong Jong: IM SHITTINF
thing 6ft 7: yeah according to sunghoon you were
wonie: HAHHAHA LMAAOA
jakey: NICE ONE SON
heeseung: we raised him well 🫡
Jong Jong: die
hoon has left the chat