Work Text:
“I bet you can't play hot cross buns with a dog toy squeaker-!”
“Gimme a fuckin dog toy squeaker and I’ll prove you wrong.”
Shiv hands a dog toy squeaker to Shark while looking towards the doorway.
“Why the hell do you have a dog toy squeaker?”
“Dun matter. Now-! Five G says you can't play the dog squeaker-!”
“Whatever, five G says I can.” Shark puts the squeaker in his teeth and starts playing it.
“Hey guys, whatcha doing?” Mako says as they walk into the room with Flint.
Shark gets startled and chokes on the squeaker. Coughs and wheezes mix with dog toy squeaking. Shiv starts cackling at him while Flint struggles not to join in.
Mako runs over to Shark, “Oh my god Shark! Are you okay!?” They whip around to face Shiv, “Is he okay?! Can you guys choke!? How would that even work!? Does he need help?!” They turn back to Shark, “Do you need help!? I know first aid!” Mako spins to Flint, “Does human first aid even work on you guys?!”
Shark is still squeaking. Meanwhile Shiv hasn’t stopped laughing the whole time. Flint joins in on the laughter while Sharks coughs begin to weaken steadily.
Mako whirls on Flint, “This isn’t funny! If you guys don’t tell me whether or not Shark is gonna be okay then I- I’ll- um… I’ll fucking punch Shark and then I’ll punch you guys!”
Shiv, still doubled over laughing, points at the calendar. It’s April first. The worry on Mako’s face shifts to a deadpan expression. Shark stops coughing and spits out the dog squeaker, chuckling with the other two.
“Flint. Shiv. What the fuck.”
They both apologize insincerely through humored tears. Shark slowly attempts to back out of the room. Unsuccessfully.
“You aren’t going anywhere Shark. Come back over here.” Mako opens their arms.
He stops in the doorway. “Sweetheart… I’m sorry.” A guilty smile adorns his face as he apologizes, walks over, and embraces Mako.
“Shark, it’s okay. But you made me worried. I care about you, and I don’t want you to die by choking on a dog toy.” Mako leans up and kisses Shark on the cheekbone.
Someone shouts, “Woooaaahh PDA alert-!” A slap of bone-on-bone rings out. “Ow. So rude Flint.”
“WHAT’S MORE RUDE IS YOU GIVING US AWAY SHIV.”
“Well the most rude thing, in my opinion, would be you guys eavesdropping,” Mako adds.
“Well you never told us to leave-!” Shiv retorts.
“Well now I’m asking you to leave.”
“OR YOU GUYS COULD GO TO ONE OF YOUR ROOMS INSTEAD OF KISSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COMMON AREA.”
“Alright fuck off we’re going.” Shark ends the conversation and walks away. Moment absolutely ruined.